Russian Prosecuted for Writing "No to *ar," Acquitted Because She Says She Meant "No to Gar," a Kind of Fish

OK, I took some liberties with the translation—but not a lot. She wrote, "НЕТ В***Е," which most Russians today would interpret as "НЕТ ВОЙНЕ," which means "No to War." But she testified she meant, "НЕТ ВОБЛЕ," which means "No to Vobla"—a fish that is apparently called a Caspian roach in English (see the Azerbaijan stamp above)—because "she feels a dislike of this kind of fish."

This assertion, the court said, was "in no way contradicted," and the defendant was therefore acquitted. The court also ordered that her yellow box of blue chalk, which she apparently used to write this in a city square (the Square of Unity and Concord, in the city of Tumen' in Siberia), be returned to her. My hat is off to you, Alisa Alekse'evna Klimentova, and to you, Judge Sergey Vladimirovich Romanov (no relation to the other Romanovs, I presume).

My conjecture, by the way, is that this reflects not the Russian legal system's respect for the presumption of innocence (or whatever formal analog it might have in Russian law), but rather opposition by the judge or the local hierarchy (or both) to either the conduct of the war or at least to the prosecution of this dissenter. Query also where the court really had to note the color of the box and the chalk, or whether it was the judge's way of further accentuating that he knows perfectly well what Klimentova was doing, but doesn't mind. (Note that my Russian namesake Maria Volokh, who was convicted for displaying a sign that simply said "*** *****," was not so fortunate.)

The incident has apparently been promptly and massively memed. People who can read simple Russian words and phrases may enjoy the items on this page, including, for instance, Tolstoy's Gar and Peace, Brad Pitt in World Gar Z, and Darth Vader in Star Gars. And if you know Russian even better, check out this song by Semyon Slepakov, which has gotten more than 1M views in the last three days:

Comments

[Brett Bellmore]

Good for her and the judge! A pity about her impending suicide/accidental death, though.

[Krayt]

More seriously, seriously that.

[Currentsitguy]

It's amazing how poorly designed Russian buildings are people are constantly having accidents and falling out of windows.

[perlmonger]

The windows with the quick pop-out frames that go to shin height with the camouflaged trip hazards along the floor near them was really a terrible design trend in Russian modern architecture.

[bernard11]

Maybe the judge really is related to the czar, and this is his very small revenge.

[John F. Carr]

What's the Russian word for "the provinces" or "flyover country", the part of a country overlooked by important people in important cities?

This was in Siberia. Putin has been accused of sending the poor folks from the fringes of the empire, especially non-Russians, off to war while ethnic Russians close to him are spared. A trial in Moscow might have had a different outcome.

[Ben of Houston]

I'm surprised that a judge has dared to do such a thing. People of greater rank have been disappeared in the middle of the night for smaller and less public disrespects.

[John F. Carr]

Simpsons did it: Die, Bart, die.

[David Nieporent]

Nobody who speaks German could be evil!

[DonP]

That postage stamp looks a lot more like what we might call a Carp than a Gar? Gars look more like a mix between a skinny gator and a long, thin sturgeon with a bad attitude and a mouth full of serious teeth. I've caught them a few times by accident and it's usually a "cut the line, lose the lure" situation.

But different names for similar fish isn't unusual. In the UK I caught what we call a Walleye. Took it back to the small Scottish hotel I was staying at for the cook to prepare. He declared it a Zander, a trash fish they don't eat. Had fun teaching him how to make a proper Northwoods "Shore Lunch".

[Eugene Volokh]

Yes, the gar is the liberty I'm taking with the translation. Like the vobla, it's a fish, and, like the vobla, it shares letters with the relevant language's word for "war." But I admit that it's quite a different fish.

[WuzYoungOnceToo]

a trash fish they don’t eat

I'm having a difficult time imagining anyone who likes fish of any kind not liking Walleye.

[Brett Bellmore]

The Europeans would probably say the same of us not eating Carp.

[WuzYoungOnceToo]

True to some extent, except that carp needs a bit of special handling in order to make it good table fare. Nothing terribly difficult, but just things most people don't realize are required because you normally wouldn't need to do them with most other fish, which is most of the basis for the carp's poor culinary reputation here.

[Noscitur a sociis]

According to wikipedia,

The zander is considered one of the most valuable food fish native to Europe. It is esteemed for its light, firm but tender meat with few bones and a delicate flavour. Although it is not generally bred for food, its adaptability makes zander fishery quite sustainable. Indeed, in some regions release of young zanders is restricted, as natural stocks already provide a sufficient supply for the market, while boosting the population of this large predator would have an adverse effect on populations of its prey. Zander is especially well suited for fish fillets. It can also be served whole, baked, smoked or cooked. In some culinary circles, zander is appreciated even more highly than salmon. Even the offals can be cooked into consommé.

It is invasive in the UK however, which I suppose could hurt its reputation. (It's also not the same species as walleye, although it is apparently closely related and tastes very similar.)

[John F. Carr]

Gar. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

[John F. Carr]

More seriously, compare the use of homophones in China to evade censorship. Chinese (Mandarin or Cantonese) has more homophones and near-homophones than English. People will write the innocuous spelling and mean the anti-government spelling. For example, you can complain about river crabs instead of censorship (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euphemisms_for_Internet_censorship_in_China https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E6%B2%B3%E8%9F%B9). Could the fish emoji become an anti-war symbol in Russia?

[santamonica811]

John, Fish-related memes should totally become a dog-whistle in Russia for anti-war sentiment. My own modest example:

“Dear Mr. Putin Forgive me for carping about your oh-fish-al position on the war. By this point, you’re clearly looking for salmon else to blame. I don’t want this to come as a shark to you. But if we continue to spend Russia’s money on this war, we’re all gonna end up living on squid row. (Just something for you to ink about.) I personally wouldn’t be cod dead fighting in Ukraine, just because you took advantage of the opper-tuna-tea–it’s clear that you’re urchin to flex your mussels and to expand Russia’s territories. You are krilling innocent people, for Cod’s sake! Beyond the shadow of a trout. Perch-ance, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this? I’ll clam up now, since this is starting to flounder.

Fin."

[John F. Carr]

I sentence you to listen to "Wet Dream" by Kip Addotta.

[Hugo S. Cunningham]

Will "Net voble!" become as popular there as "Let's go Brandon!" here? I suspect Putin's police won't let things go that far...

[Drewski]

Reminds me of the grass mud horse meme popular with Chinese students some years ago to protest China's harmonization policy. When said aloud it's very similar to saying "mother fucker," a phrase that on the Internet can attract unwanted attention from authorities.

[Paul Elliott]

“My conjecture, by the way, is that this reflects not the Russian legal system’s respect for the presumption of innocence (or whatever formal analog it might have in Russian law), but rather opposition by the judge or the local hierarchy (or both) to either the conduct of the war or at least to the prosecution of this dissenter.”

Anything to preserve standard the narrative. Or remove the presumption that the poster does not believe the standard narrative. If this were suspected, the poster might have his law firm canceled. Can’t have that.

If one goes to Russian social media, one finds plenty of criticism of Russian military policy, usually arguing for a more harsh Russian military policy. It is a good thing Russia ran out of missiles, because Russia might have attacked a lot of Ukrainian targets. Without the western media’s respect for truth, we might not have known that Russia was out of missiles. Of course, western media’s respect for truth comes from our American Rule of Law.

It is a good thing that no one knows that Putin spent time the other day arguing for a policy of respect for the Ukrainian language in the putative new Russian territories. If people knew this, they might doubt that he is a power mad dictator. A dictator does not have to argue for anything. And why would a dictator argue for respect for a foreign language?

[Hugo S. Cunningham]

The Soviet government respected the titular languages in all 14 of their non-Russian union republics. That did not mean it was not a dictatorship.