The Volokh Conspiracy
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Lucifer Dodges a Lawsuit
From Watts v. Lucifer, decided yesterday by Judge Sam Crow (D. Kan.):
Petitioner James B. Watts, who is proceeding pro se and in forma pauperis, is a pretrial detainee incarcerated at the Butler County Jail facing state criminal charges…. Petitioner … [filed various motions, including a motion] titled "Motion to Get Page 1 of My Petition for Habeas Corpus with Case No. of GOD Almighty's Number(s) and, Not of Lucifer's (Satan's, The Devil's)…" Therein, Petitioner explained his belief that certain numbers are "of God Almighty's Number(s)," while others are "of Lucifer's" numbers.
The case number administratively assigned to this matter when Petitioner filed it is 22-3109-SAC; the number 2 is one of the numbers Petitioner believes is Lucifer's. In his motion, Petitioner asserted that using "[a]ny…numbers that do not add up to GOD Almighty's are [sic] against [his] Religion and/or Faith," and he asked the Court to alter the case number to include only "GOD Almighty's Number(s) and Not…Lucifer's." …
Petitioner … asserts that he "will not get any justice under this case" number because the case number "is for Evil [and] Wicked people and their justice." He advises the Court that if it declines to comply with his requests to … grant Petitioner's motions, it should dismiss this case without prejudice so that Petitioner may proceed in another, identical habeas action he has initiated in this Court….
[T]he Court notes that Petitioner's newer habeas action has also been assigned a case number that begins with 2. See Watts v. Lucifer, Case No. 22-3195-JWL-JPO. This is because both of Petitioner's current habeas actions were filed in the year 2022. The first two digits of every case number reflect the year in which the case was filed. Thus, any cases Petitioner files on or before January 1, 2030 will be administratively assigned a case number that begins with a 2. Therefore, dismissing this matter so that Petitioner may proceed in his more recently filed habeas action will not resolve Petitioner's numerical complaint….
[T]he Court … does not take lightly Petitioner's religious objections to his case number. However, Petitioner does not identify any legal authority that supports his demand that the Court change the administratively assigned case number to comport with Petitioner's religious beliefs. In fact, the Court's independent research has revealed only legal authority that supports the denial of Petitioner's request.
For example, in the context of a religious objection to the assignment of a social security number, the United States Supreme Court held that the Free Exercise Clause does not require "that the Government join in [an individual's] chosen religious practices by refraining from using a number to identify [his or her] daughter." See Bowen v. Roy (1986). The Court explained: "The Free Exercise Clause affords an individual protection from certain forms of government compulsion; it does not afford an individual a right to dictate the conduct of the Government's internal procedures." Similarly, the Court has discovered no legal authority that gives Petitioner the right to demand that his administratively assigned case number be altered to comport with Petitioner's religious beliefs….
The Bowen v. Roy analysis strikes me as quite correct here. See also Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (W.D. Pa. 1971).
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"Petitioner asserted that using "[a]ny…numbers that do not add up to GOD Almighty's are [sic] against [his] Religion and/or Faith," "
Are all even numbers of Lucifer, then? That can't be right. 8 is the number of the resurrection and new life, and 2^3 = 8. Is the problem that it's only two '2's? But 4 symbolizes completeness and totality (the four corners of the earth, etc...).
2^3 may be 8, but 6.6.6 is three times also, and 2*3 is also 6.
5 is right out.
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
"the number 2 is one of the numbers Petitioner believes is Lucifer's"
What a pile of number 2.
" [T]he Court … does not take lightly Petitioner's religious objections to his case number. "
Why? Indulging or appeasing this level of lunacy is pointless at best, likely counterproductive. Even a 96-year-old judge, firmly rooted in a more superstitious period, should know better.
Petitioner's obviously one of your Bitter Klingers...
He probably does take the religious objections lightly, but he can't say that, and since he has to write an opinion that makes sense anyway, he has to do the same work that someone who really didn't take the religious claims lightly would do.
The power of the constitution compels you!
I read about a lawsuit against Satan as a co-defendant. Of course the lawyer was called "the devil's advocate". I wonder how process was served. I have a mental picture of a process server muttering "It's not the first time I've been told to go to Hell".
I thought the punch line was, "where will the plaintiff find a lawyer?"
So that's why the guy in this case is pro se?
I'm guessing even the utterly insane get their day in court.
More evidence there's a Devil than a God.
Why pick on Lucifer? What about Satan, Beelzebub or Scratch? This this plaintiff serious or is he just demon shopping?
If Mick Jagger says it's Lucifer, that's good enough for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwtyn-L-2gQ
You got me there. It's a great song.
I find it highly suspicious that every time a citizen of the US tries to sue Satan or other defendants similarly situated, including, but not limited to, Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Old Scratch, or, as here, prays that the court take some action to protect the plaintiff against aforesaid defendants, the court finds for the defendants.