The Volokh Conspiracy
Mostly law professors | Sometimes contrarian | Often libertarian | Always independent
Here's "A-Sitting on a Gate" (1871) (also known as "Haddock's Eyes", "Ways and Means", and "The Aged Aged Man") by Lewis Carroll (1832-1898). This poem was part of the novel Through the Looking-Glass. (This is on my YouTube channel, which mostly consists of my Sasha Reads playlist, plus a smattering of law-related songs.) Here's a link to a previous Carroll poem I read, "Rules and Regulations".
I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate,
I saw an aged, aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
"Who are you, aged man?" I said.
"And how is it you live?"
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.
He said, "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat;
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread —
A trifle, if you please."
But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.
His accents mild took up the tale;
He said, "I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland's Macassar Oil —
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."
But I was thinking of a way
To feed one's self on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue,
"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"
He said, "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat-buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.
"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of hansom-cabs.
And that's the way" (he gave a wink)
"By which I get my wealth —
And very gladly will I drink
Your honor's noble health."
I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.
And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know —
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo —
That summer evening long ago,
A-sitting on a gate.
For the rest of my "Sasha Reads" playlist, click here. Past poems are:
- "Ulysses" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
- "The Pulley" by George Herbert
- "Harmonie du soir" ("Evening Harmony") by Charles Baudelaire (French)
- "Dirge Without Music" by Edna St. Vincent Millay
- "Clancy of the Overflow" by A.B. "Banjo" Paterson
- "Лотова жена" ("Lotova zhena", "Lot's wife") by Anna Akhmatova (Russian)
- "The Jumblies" by Edward Lear
- "The Conqueror Worm" by Edgar Allan Poe
- "Les Djinns" ("The Jinns") by Victor Hugo (French)
- "I Have a Rendezvous with Death" by Alan Seeger
- "When I Was One-and-Twenty" by A.E. Housman
- "Узник" ("Uznik", "The Prisoner" or "The Captive") by Aleksandr Pushkin (Russian)
- "God's Grandeur" by Gerard Manley Hopkins
- "The Song of Wandering Aengus" by William Butler Yeats
- "Je crains pas ça tellment" ("I'm not that scard about") by Raymond Queneau (French)
- "The Naming of Cats" by T.S. Eliot
- "The reticent volcano keeps…" by Emily Dickinson
- "Она" ("Ona", "She") by Zinaida Gippius (Russian)
- "Would I Be Shrived?" by John D. Swain
- "Evolution" by Langdon Smith
- "Chanson d'automne" ("Autumn Song") by Oscar Milosz (French)
- "love is more thicker than forget" by e.e. cummings
- "My Three Loves" by Henry S. Leigh
- "Я мечтою ловил уходящие тени" ("Ia mechtoiu lovil ukhodiashchie teni", "With my dreams I caught the departing shadows") by Konstantin Balmont (Russian)
- "Dane-geld" by Rudyard Kipling
- "Rules and Regulations" by Lewis Carroll
- "Vers dorés" ("Golden Lines") by Gérard de Nerval (French)
- "So That's Who I Remind Me Of" by Ogden Nash
- "The Epic" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
- "La chambre double" ("The Double Room") by Charles Baudelaire (French)
- "Медный всадник" ("The Bronze Horseman") by Aleksandr Pushkin (Russian)
- "Herbst" ("Autumn") by Rainer Maria Rilke (German)
- "Romance de la luna, luna" ("Ballad of the Moon Moon") by Federico García Lorca (Spanish)
- "The Four Friends" by A.A. Milne
- "anyone lived in a pretty how town" by e.e. cummings
- "Листья" ("Leaves") by Fyodor Tyutchev (Russian)
- "The Pobble Who Has No Toes" by Edward Lear
- "The Persian Version" by Robert Graves
- "Les deux voix" ("The Two Voices") by Victor Hugo (French)
- "Lines Written in Dejection" by William Butler Yeats
- "Loveliest of Trees" by A.E. Housman
- "Akh, chto-to mne ne veritsia…" ("Oh, somehow I can't believe…") by Bulat Okudzhava (Russian)
- "Alone" by Edgar Allan Poe
- "The Man from Snowy River" by A.B. "Banjo" Paterson
- "À la mémoire d'une chatte naine que j'avais" ("In memory of a dwarf cat I had") by Jules Laforgue (French)
- "When We Two Parted" by George Gordon, Lord Byron