The Volokh Conspiracy

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The truth about NASA's moon exploration

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I see that NASA has proposed sending a submarine to Saturn's moon Titan to explore its seas. Maybe this is a good idea in theory, but I don't know if I trust NASA on this one:

(1) It's not widely appreciated that these are the same guys who made our own Moon into a lifeless rock by removing all the lifeforms that existed on it.

(2) Also, priorities! NASA scientists are already aware of a planet entirely populated by robots… why aren't we exploring that one? Public can't handle that knowledge?

The robotic planet angle has already been covered elsewhere, so let me just focus on the Moon issue for now. I don't see how this doesn't get more play - unlike the standard conspiracies, this is supported by verifiable fact!

Fact: About 46 years ago, NASA detected two lifeforms on the Moon. These lifeforms were able to use sophisticated technology, as NASA could easily verify from their audio and video transmissions that we intercepted. I've actually seen the video, and the beings seemed humanoid to me, but quite frankly, I think it's hard to say for sure because of the bulky protective shielding they were wearing at all times.

Fact: What did NASA do? Stuck these lifeforms onto a rocket and brought them to Earth! NASA did the same thing five more times over the next 3.5 years and brought back ten similar lifeforms. Every time NASA has detected lifeforms on the Moon - every single time - they've removed them from the Moon and shipped them to Earth. Those might have been the twelve only lifeforms to have existed on the Moon - intelligent, technologically sophisticated lifeforms - and now the Moon is barren! (As far as we know. Could there be more such lifeforms evading detection? I'm just asking.)

Fact: NASA conducted tests on them and then released them to live among us! They've been living among us for decades! The first lifeform ever detected on the Moon died a couple of years ago, and a couple more have also died over this time.

Now these guys want to mess up Titan? Where's the outrage???

UPDATE: Lifeforms.