Debates

Republican Debate Cocktails

Candidate-themed cocktails for the GOP Debate

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Having a debate party?  Great! Be sure to include these great candidate-themed cocktails.

The Donald Trump:
Start by taking someone else's glass, even if they're using it.  You're going to use it better.

Then add anything domestic.  Imported spirits are not the best…they bring hangovers, blackouts, crime..some I assume are good drinks, but we want American.

Then build a wall around it, top it off with a dead squirrel, and insult the next woman you see.

The Ben Carson:
This is an absinthe drink–it messes with your head and is surprisingly strong given the lack of substance.  Before long you'll be that guy at the party saying weird things about the holocaust and evolution and whatever else comes to mind.  It starts with…

Oh look, the Trump cocktail has a hat now.  That's kind of funny I guess.  What was I saying?

The Jeb Bush:
Start with a glass of whatever alcohol made you really sick the last time you drank it.  Water it down, and a common apple core, and…

Oh, the Trump cocktail again…it has little flag umbrellas.

The Rand Paul:
This is a new twist on an older, more popular cocktail.  Pay close attention, as the ingredients have recently changed.  

Okay, can we stop looking at the Trump cocktail?  I know it's flashy and it's different, but really there are a lot of other drinks here and seriously, you're just encouraging bad behavior at this point.

Okay, forget it.  This is why no one likes your parties America.  

About 1:30 minutes.

Produced by Austin Bragg.

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