Comedy

Remy: Fortnight (Federal Employee Version)

A tale from the Tortured Public Servants Department.

|

HD Download

Government employees and their office desks are never, ever, ever getting back together.

Parody of Taylor Swift's "Fortnight" written by Remy; performed by Remy and Austin Bragg; music tracks, mastering, and background vocals by Ben Karlstrom.

LYRICS:

Temporarily sent away but
They forgot to come and get me
A barely-functioning bureaucrat
Nobody noticed my new aesthetic

COVID's still a thing
Though that won't keep me from mid-day Soul Cycle
Meeting with our agency?
Expect to see three blank screens and Michael

Cuz every fortnight I am in the office one day
It is so hard working every other Monday
I click "leave-on-doorstep" but the
GrubHub driver rings my doorbell
I want to kill him

All my mornings are Sundays stuck in an
Endless commissary
If you ever try reaching us
The effects are pulmonary

And my phone rings it's ruining my life (I'm sick and it's ruining my life)
We come in one day every fortnight (You come in one day every fortnight?)

Cuz every fortnight I am in the office one day
It is so hard working every other Monday
In my backyard I have uncooked burger patties on the table
I want to grill them

I tried calling ya, but you don't pick up
Another fortnight lost in America
I tried calling ya, but you don't pick up
Another fortnight lost in America