Halloween on Capitol Hill

Political puppet handouts

Austin Bragg and Andrew Heaton | 10.30.2023 11:40 AM

HD Download

Actor: Andrew Heaton
Producer, Writer, Actor: Austin Bragg
Producer, Writer: Meredith Bragg
Producer, Writer: John Carter

Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.

Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 2 years ago

"Are you a real woman"?

Best line in the video.

Log in to Reply
1. mad.casual 2 years ago
  
  I mean you're wrong, but you're also not wrong.
  
  Let's agree to disagree.
  
  Log in to Reply
2. Jhonkin21 2 years ago (edited)
  
  I’m making $90 an hour working from home. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning 16,000 US dollars a month by working on the connection, that was truly astounding for me, she prescribed for me to attempt it simply.
  Everybody must try this job now by just using this website… Just open the link——————————>>> http://Www.SalaryOption1.Com
  
  Log in to Reply
3. SQRLSY One 2 years ago
  
  “Are you a real woman”?
  
  I have been told that "When men are men, sheep are afraid"!!!
  
  ????
  
  Where women are REAL women, twat?; Men cower in fear and cover their privates, lest Lorena Bobbit sever their wankers?
  
  https://abcnews.go.com/US/25-years-cutting-off-husbands-penis-lorena-bobbitt/story?id=61017708
  
  25 years after cutting off husband's penis, Lorena Bobbitt is championing victims of domestic violence: 'There's no joke about domestic violence.'
  “There's no joke about domestic violence," Lorena Bobbitt said.
  
  Talk about HORRIFYING Halloween, Hollow-Wiener, and severed-wiener tales!!! I want to SCREAM!!!!
  
  Lorena Bobbitt, patron Saint of FemiNAZIS and udder VICTIMS... Is she related to Saint Babbitt, patron Saint of Trumpaloos? VICTIMS of democracy?
  
  Log in to Reply
4. SQRLSY One 2 years ago
  
  Speaking of Dearly Departed Wankers, cum back from the grave, to haunt us, this Hallowed-Wiener days...
  
  You may think that this is an OT post, the way I’ll start it out, but hold on now…
  Y’all “intimately familiar” with nudist culture, like me? Did you know that after the vows, at a nudist wedding, the officiator doesn’t say, “You may kiss the bride”, he or she says, instead, “You may fuck the bride”?
  So then nudists ALSO have some pretty fancy blow-out Halloweenie parties, even at swank hotels! At normal parties, we impress one another with fake Frankenstein plastic masks and fake stitches and bolts on our necks and heads? The nudists do that same thing with their peckers!
  Terry Brazier, now, HE, with his REAL stitches with his added-back-on hoodie… Especially if they add some small, tasteful golden Frankenstein-style bolts to it ass well… He will have a SWANKER WANKER than ALL the rest!
  Butt no, sorry, I will ***NOT*** be his SWANKER WANKER YANKER!!!
  
  Well, it can always get worse!
  
  Recall the gay Canadian airline steward way back when, who spread (just then “going viral”, literally) AIDS all over the place? See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ga%C3%ABtan_Dugas … Kaposi’s sarcoma spread all over the place… (As a prominent sign of the new mystery disease).
  
  Terry Brazier (see https://reason.com/2019/08/23/brickbat-the-first-cut-is-the-deepest-2/ ), now, HE, with his REAL stitches with his sewed-back-on hoodie… Especially if they add some small, tasteful golden Frankenstein-style bolts to it ass well, for swank nudist Halloweiner Parties… He will have a SWANKER WANKER than ALL the rest! Butt no, sorry, I will ***NOT*** be his SWANKER WANKER YANKER!!!
  
  Well anyway, hopefully Terry Brazier will NOT be the starring attraction for a bunch of young fan boys, who might otherwise become the spreaders at the nexus of the next AIDS-like horror, known as SWANKER WANKER YANKER CHANCRE!!!
  
  Greedy capitalists as usual will crank out new drugs to cure it, at VASTLY inflated expenses, backed up by their bankers, so then we’ll have SWANKER WANKER YANKER CHANCRE drug-CRANKER BANKERS!!! Riots in the streets, from the anti-1% folks, I’m a-tellin’ ya!!!
  
  Many newscasters will take the side of the bankers… But one of these newscasters will be caught by a mob of angry anti-1% rioters, some of whom will proceed to PUNISH the newscasters… Said punishment-dishers-outers will be known as…
  SWANKER WANKER YANKER CHANCRE pro-drug-CRANKER-BANKER-ANCHOR SPANKERS!
  
  There will be those who are squeamish about personal punitive violence, but who still secretly support those with less such squeamishness. When no one is looking or listening, they will privately utter their support of the punitive, anti-gay and anti-banking ones. These more shy and secretive supporters of such things will be known as…
  SWANKER WANKER YANKER CHANCRE pro-drug-CRANKER-BANKER-ANCHOR SPANKER THANKERS!
  
  There will inevitably be those who will want to play gay hanky-panky with those who semi-secretly oppose the pro-gay bankers and anchors in this case, as a method of embarrassing them. Gay passes will be made! Gay hanky-panky will be attempted! Such prospective unwanted-gay-pass-makes will be known as “hanker-pankers”. The recipients of such unwanted passes will be tempted to SPANK the makers of unwanted passes! They will be known as…
  
  SWANKER WANKER YANKER CHANCRE pro-drug-CRANKER-BANKER-ANCHOR SPANKER THANKER HANKER-PANKER SPANKERS!
  
  Log in to Reply
Eeyore 2 years ago

What about that yellow house with the snake flag, they are into drugs right?

Log in to Reply
SQRLSY One 2 years ago (edited)

Fucking awesome, dudes and dudettes!!! Reason.cum NAILED shit, except that they totally FAILED to mention Spermy Daniels!

Typically, the hollow-wiener “kids” that show up at MY door? They often cry loudly, “I WANT MY SPERMY DANIELS, DAMMIT! Shove yer spammy-candy up yer BUTT!” (Sorry, kids, I can NOT afford to pass out ANY Spermy Daniels!)

If it’s not THAT, it’s “Where’s my Jack Daniels? Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!”

And THAT is when I point to my sign that says, “Liquor up front, poker in the rear”!!!

(I do shit all… FOR THE CHILDREN!!! Ye may thank me later, alligator!!!)

Log in to Reply

Please log in to post comments

Halloween on Capitol Hill

Political puppet handouts

Latest

RFK Jr. Denigrates Privately Funded Medical Research

Can Trump Yank Harvard's Remaining Federal Funding?

A Federal Judge Lists 8 Ways That Trump Violated the Constitution by Punishing a Disfavored Law Firm

Elon Musk Is Right. The 'Big Beautiful Bill' Is a Bad Deal.

Is Buying OnlyFans Content Now Illegal in Sweden?

Recommended

Login Form