2020 Presidential Candidate Blowout!

We’ve got so many giveaways, we’re practically giving them away!

Austin Bragg and Andrew Heaton | 5.31.2019 3:10 PM

Election season is heating up, which means Republicans and Democrats are ready to sell you the candidate of your dreams. Whether it's government intrusion into your private life or government intrusion into your economic life, they've got you covered.

Written by Austin Bragg. Starring Andrew Heaton and Bragg. Video produced by Bragg.

Happy Happy Game Show Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Photo credit: Richard B. Levine/Newscom

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H. Farnham 6 years ago

FINALLY!!!

This is the quality content that I expect from Reason.

Thanks Heaton/Bragg. Good stuff.

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1. Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf 6 years ago
  
  Amen! They're baaaaack!
  
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  1. Delroy 6 years ago
    
    Yes, one of the few reasons (pun intended?) I'll come back to Reason to click on anything. BTW, hate the new website - looks like an attempt to put lipstick on a pig, but just made it worse.
    
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Jerryskids 6 years ago

Yay! Heaton's been let back out of the closet!

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Eddy 6 years ago

🙂

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Unicorn Abattoir 6 years ago

My God, it's like they plugged Heaton into an old Crazy Eddie commercial!

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1. loveconstitution1789 6 years ago
  
  1986 Cal Worthington commercial
  
  I remember seeing this guy one time and will always remember this guy and his gimmicks.
  
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  1. Unicorn Abattoir 6 years ago
    
    Never saw that one before. Remember Earl Scheib??
    
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    1. Rat on a train 6 years ago
      
      Adee do
      
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Unicorn Abattoir 6 years ago

Highway 88? Is Bragg Godwinning?

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1. Agammamon 6 years ago
  
  HH
  
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  1. Agammamon 6 years ago
    
    #
    
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2. What's that smell? 6 years ago
  
  In Pittsburgh's south hills routes 51 and 88 INTERSECT!!!
  I kid you not.
  
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3. Cyto 6 years ago
  
  I had to google that --- and it took a couple of tries before I figured out what the heck you were referring to.
  
  So thanks... it is pretty rare that you find out that you are blissfully ignorant of things you'd rather be blissfully ignorant of. Or rather were blissfully ignorant of, in this case.
  
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Chipper Morning Wood 6 years ago

Any Heaton content is good content. Same goes for Bragg. Get Remy in there too, I wanna see a threesome with all of them.

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1. Unicorn Abattoir 6 years ago
  
  "I wanna see a threesome with all of them."
  
  KMW, ENB and Robby?
  
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  1. Chipper Morning Wood 6 years ago
    
    Take out Robby, put in Lenore, and I am all in.
    
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    1. H. Farnham 6 years ago
      
      Stephanie Slade, Joanna Andreasson, and John Stossel's mustache.
      
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Finrod 6 years ago

Spoiler alert: Biden will get the Democratic nomination then lose 32 or 33 states and the Presidency to Trump.

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1. loveconstitution1789 6 years ago
  
  Dont forget those stupid states that signed a National Popular Vote Compact to give their ECs away to whomever gets the Presidential popular vote.
  
  Trump will pick those states up too after he wins the popular vote against of those clowns running as a Democrat.
  
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  1. A Thinking Mind 6 years ago
    
    Well that would only kick in if they can get 270 electoral votes pledged, which is not happening.
    
    But I think Trump has a very good chance of winning the popular vote in 2020 and then we'll see talk of the popular vote compact fade away.
    
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2. Agammamon 6 years ago
  
  Biden's not getting the nod. The current Democratic Party has very strongly embraced 'Progressive' politics. Biden is an artifact of the party's past and, frankly, I think most of them consider him to be an embarrassment.
  
  He's an old straight white male. Emphasis on *old*. And very white. Not even a hint of 'ethnic' in his makeup. He's got no chance among the current crop of frontrunners.
  
  Hell, the guys tried this like 4 times before he actually got to be a *Vice-Presidential candidate*. 4 times before he was even able to get on the ticket.
  
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  1. Square = Circle 6 years ago
    
    ^ This. He'll be the Jeb Bush of the 2020 cycle.
    
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  2. creech 6 years ago
    
    Who needs "ethnic" when , as an 8 year old, you pushed 2 ton coal carts through 1 mile deep coal mine tunnels. Or whatever he did in Scranton.
    
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  3. A Thinking Mind 6 years ago
    
    The problem is that there's 35 candidates. You're going to very quickly see it devolve into name recognition when you get that sort of choice-overload. Nobody is going to read every single policy platform for all those candidates.
    
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    1. CE 6 years ago
      
      No, they'll vote for the white guy with the best hair, same as always.
      
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      1. Leo Kovalensky II 6 years ago
        
        Or orange guy with the... um... hair.
        
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loveconstitution1789 6 years ago

Great job guys!

"Don't even look at the Starbucks...Just make a HARD LEFT"!

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1. Chipper Morning Wood 6 years ago
  
  You know that three lefts make a right, right?
  
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Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 6 years ago

Based on this video, I'm definitely voting Democrat.

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1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 6 years ago
  
  One minor nitpick on the video. The Democrats have reversed their position on kneeling at football games.
  
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  1. Chipper Morning Wood 6 years ago
    
    They now kneel facing away from Mecca?
    
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    1. Nardz 6 years ago
      
      +1 eunuch
      
      Finally a funny joke
      
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  2. Nuwanda 6 years ago
    
    That clinches it for me. I can now vote Dem with a clear conscience.
    
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Nuwanda 6 years ago

Oh, no, how will Reason decide which Democrat candidate to tacitly endorse?

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1. CE 6 years ago
  
  I thought they had already decided on Mayor Pete.
  
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  1. Leo Kovalensky II 6 years ago
    
    It was originally Tulsi, but she seems to have faded away.
    
    It's a shame too. I'd love to see Biden and Tulsi in a debate just because I'm not aware of another political debate where one person just hits on the other the whole time.
    
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  2. Nardz 6 years ago
    
    Gay
    
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AlbertP 6 years ago

FIVE STARS! ^^^^^ *****

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1. MSimon 6 years ago
  
  FIVE STARS! ^^ ***
  
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MoreFreedom 6 years ago

YES! They sum up politics in the USA in one commercial, at least how politicians are selling themselves.

Fortunately we aren't seeing how they govern and make the sausage. That wouldn't sell.

Great job!

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Cyto 6 years ago

You guys win....

Best thing on the internet in months.

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Average Dude 6 years ago

"So many giveaways, we're practically giving them away!!" - Genius.

Has anyone printed up any 'Heaton/Bragg - 2020' t-shirts?

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1. Cyto 6 years ago
  
  I just wish someone over at any one of the late night comedy shows would watch this and take notes. This is how you do political humor.
  
  "Did you see what Trump tweeted? Yeah, he's so dumb! And evil too.." Isn't comedy, despite what the late-night hosts and SNL seem to believe.
  
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  1. Cyto 6 years ago
    
    "If you like old white guys..... Jackpot!!"
    LOL
    
    "We might bomb Mexico! Or not.... It could go either way...."
    
    Pitch perfect, every line....
    
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    1. squid_hunt 6 years ago
      
      Coming from a fat old white guy in the party of cranky old white guys made it even better.
      
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