Nanny of the Month: Texas School Says Better Kids Burn Than Allow 'Toxic' Sunscreen!

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Nanny of the Month: Texas School Says Better Kids Burn Than Allow 'Toxic' Sunscreen!

In June, government busybodies taught one book-loving little boy a hard lesson about the letter of the law when his miniature "library" ran afoul of city codes, while the control freaks across the pond worked to keep jolly old England jolly by banning memorial plaques in public parks because they're "too depressing." But this month's top dishonor goes to a school district in Texas, which decided that protecting students from "toxic" sunscreen is more important than protecting them from the sun.

The San Antonio school district stands by its ban on sunscreen despite one 10-year-old student getting a sunburn on a class field trip after a teacher confiscated the dangerous lotion.

"Sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can't allow toxic substances to be in our school," said North East Independent District spokesperson Aubrey Chancellor. "They could possibly have an allergic reaction [or] they could ingest it. It's really a dangerous situation."

More dangerous than a sunburn? More dangerous than skin cancer, which, incidentally, the student's grandfather passed away from recently? 

Approximately 1:40

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Nanny of the Month was created by Ted Balaker, is produced by Balaker and Matt Edwards, and edited by Edwards. Written by Zach Weissmueller. Opening graphics by Meredith Bragg. To watch previous episodes, go here.

Follow Nanny of the Month on Twitter (@NannyoftheMonth) and submit your nominees for next month!

Comments

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"the control freaks across the pond worked to keep jolly old England jolly by banning memorial plaques in public parks because they're "too depressing"."

Better tear down those war memorials, then...they're even more depressing and triggering!

Wherever Churchill is now, he's got to be doing a facepalm.

[Libertarian]

I'm going to put this business idea out there for anyone with the gumption to follow through with it. It is a 100% sure money maker: ever notice those obelisk type war memorials in parks and town squares? At best, most of them are 4-sided. FOUR SIDED! One side per war. How outdated can you get? Well, here's the idea - manufacture 11 sided war memorials. Fiberglass, stucco, marble, concrete.... it doesn't matter. Make an 11 sided blank war memorial and sell them to municipalities who are belatedly realizing that the old four-sided memorials are woefully inadequate. Four sides mean WWI, WWII, Korea, and Viet Nam. Did history end in the 70s with Viet Nam? I think not. So get busy -- those hendecagons won't make themselves!

[Doctor Whom]

My underfed orphans are on it.

[110 Lean]

You fund them at all? Sir, turn in your monocle.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Meh. Obelisks are obsolete. Now everybody does memorial walls.

[Brian D]

Obsolisks?

[Brett L]

Who needs that when you can just keep grammy in memorium with a car sticker?

[Rich]

banning memorial plaques in public parks because they're "too depressing"

Hadn't heard that one before. The UK never ceases to amaze.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Does the Anglican liturgy still remind people that "in the midst of life we are in death?"

http://justus.anglican.org/res.....l_1789.htm

If the people didn't hear that from the church, they may have heard it from The Smiths -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=526GPD_hCi4

[Zeb]

Etc.

[Libertarian]

Gotta love the 21st century. Don't ban war -- ban war memorials.

[Brian D]

I sure hope Texas keeps its kids away from water. That shit can also be toxic in large enough doses.

[DesigNate]

Hey, we aren't ALL fucking retarded.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Just plain retarded

[Mad Scientist]

Dihydrogen monoxide will kill us all!

[John]

This case was on the morning links a while back. One of the people on here (Ken Shultz maybe?) actually had an email exchange with the principal at this school. The stupid burns your eyes. Her justification boiled down to "someone might be allergic and sunscreen is toxic. You just can't let kids run around with toxic materials". I am not kidding.

And this is not a case of "nannying". This is a case of utter stupidity that amounts to child abuse. I don't have any direct experience with CPS, but I would imagine that if I put my kids outside in the Texas May without sun screen allowing them to get a serious burn and someone reported me to CPS, that CPS would take a pretty dim view of my parenting.

[Zeb]

I can't imagine that there aren't thousands of people letting their kids get sunburned in Texas (and every other state). They're going to need a lot more CPS dicks.

This seems like the same kind of idiocy that treats someone with an Advil at school like a drug dealer. You can't have any kind of drug or medication without filling in all the forms and checking it with the nurse.

[John]

Have you ever been to Texas in the summer Zeb? And sure kids get sunburned all of the time, because they forgot to put sunscreen on. That is not what happened here. Here, they had sun screen and the school wouldn't let them use it. If live in a place like Texas and I refuse to allow my kids to ever wear sunscreen, about the second time they end up at the doctor with a serious burn is going to get me reported to CPS.

[Zeb]

You can get just as badly sunburned in places I have been to in the summer. And you didn't originally say "refuse to allow my kids to wear sunscreen". Kids get sunburn all the time. Lighten up.

[John]

That is what I meant. Sorry not to be clear. And as far as lightening up. Think of it this way. Imagine if I took your kids fishing and I wouldn't allow them to put on sun screen and they came home from the trip sun burned. You would be pretty pissed at me wouldn't you? I sure would if I were you.

[Zeb]

Oh, sure. You are right. A parent would be quite justifiably upset if their child returned with a bad sunburn, especially if they had given their kid sunscreen to use.

[Brett L]

Sunscreen is neither drug nor medication. If kids can have hand lotion, they can have suncreen. Also, sunscreen is non-toxic by even the containerful. You can tell because they don't have poisoning instructions.

[Zeb]

Yeah, I know. I was just trying to get in the head of an idiot school administrator.

[BakedPenguin]

Sunscreen is neither drug nor medication.

It is if you're doing it right.

[entropy_factor]

NEISD? Those are the schools I grew up in! Awesome, let's go read about....

Oh. Wait. What? *facepalm*

[EDG reppin' LBC]

"...they could ingest it. It's really a dangerous situation."

Jesus fucking Christ! They're elementary school children, lady! They aren't retards. They aren't chimpanzees. They are human children that understand how sunblock lotion works. Just take a minute to think back to your youth. Would you eat sunblock when you were in sixth grade? When you were in third grade? How about kindergarten? No. Of course not. Maybe a two year old would eat sunblock, but not an elementary school kid. Your justification would be laughable, if it wasn't so insulting.

So, now we have to examine why you would use such a justification? Why you can't admit you made a wrong choice? Why you can't apologize for making a wrong choice and change your policy? Are you a sociopath? Do you have any type of inner dialogue? Did your spouse read your justification and tell you, "That sounds reasonable"? No. Of course not. Be ashamed.

[John]

If you are that fucking worried about it, take the sun block and supervise them putting it on and give it back to them at the end of the day.

I honestly can't fathom being so fucking stupid that you think kids using suntan lotion is a "dangerous situation". i have met people who lived in supervised group homes and had 70 IQs that were not that fucking stupid. How do you say that with a straight face?

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Rule #1 for bureaucrats: Never admit a mistake.

It's one of the few ways they can be fired.

[sarcasmic]

Authority means never having to admit to being wrong.

[Zeb]

This is right up there with a story I saw about a school in Canada which banned things that could be mistaken for peanut butter (other nut butters mostly) because someone had a peanut allergy and they didn't want any student to get the mistaken idea that peanut butter was OK.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Sweet Jesus that's even more stupid than pop tart guns

[Rhywun]

Why would anyone want to live in Texas?

(Hey, that's fun!)

[SugarFree]

The main reason to live in Texas is that hell won't feel all that hot in comparison when you finally get there.

[Rhywun]

It's 95 right now in NYC - trust me, it's hell.

[Andrew S.]

I know it's Youtube, but holy crap the derp in the comments to the video on Youtube.

My personal favorite, and by favorite I mean I hope this person is sterile and will never affect the lives of others.

Jim Shorts3 hours ago

If sunscreen is that bad then it would be banned right?? Oh never mind they put fluoride in our water, they put mercury and formaldehyde in our vaccines. Maybe you need to research sunscreen first, is it dangerous like fluoride? I would think there are sunscreens made of different chemicals. I'm sorry but the school may be right it is irresponsible of you to call them out without presenting anything about the safety of sunscreen.?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

And Mary has chimed in on the comments. I don't even understand this. Sadly, neither does she.

Kizone Kaprow13 minutes ago

Libertarians -- Protecting you from yourself since 1973??

[SugarFree]

Short and nonsensical. Classic Mary.

[John]

She really is disturbed. We make fun of the resident liberal sock puppets Tony and Shreek, but Mary is a different order of crazy.

[croaker]

I'll say it again: Schools of Education are where you go when you can't hack a real major. Expecting sense out of them is a fool's errand.

[MSimon]

Water is a toxic substance.

[Mmsndobson]

FUBAR

[Zeb]

Hey, now. Morrissey deserves whatever derision you want to throw at him, but the Smiths were a fine band.

[John]

The Cure were a great fun pop band that were occasionally screwed up by Robert Smith being nearly the whinny wanker Morrissey is.

Have you heard the Icelandic group Of Monsters and Men? They are all the fun of the Cure without the dress in black and be depressed pretension with some Scandinavian strangeness added in for flavor.

[Zeb]

Well, he's a very clever lyricist and I don't hate his voice.
I'll agree on Robert Smith.

[Pope Jimbo]

Tundra? You are picking Robert Smith over Adrian Peterson? Are you high?

[John]

You should Tundra. They have a real 80s pop feel to them. I wouldn't call them gloomy as just delightfully odd. They have one song about a pet dragon fly that leaves its owner and witnesses a war between the bees against the birds and other forest creatures. I am not kidding. But it is a good song. Imagine what Saabs are to cars and that is what they are to pop music.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Morrissey was a good contrast to Marr's jangly guitar pop. The downer lyrics and baritone voice gave a certain gravity to the band. Had they gotten a singer who wrote conventional love songs, or had a different voice, the Smiths may had been just another failed Britpop act of the early 80's.

[John]

the Smiths may had been just another failed Britpop act of the early 80's.

What do you mean may have been?

[Zeb]

The great thing about Morrissey's lyrics is that they are totally downer, but also quite funny.

I tend to favor more sad or somber music in general (though certainly not all depressed-teen stuff like the Smiths or Cure). Happy, feel-good music mostly just annoys me.

[Mad Scientist]

At least Morrissey could sing. I'd take him any day over the autotuned crap they play on the radio now.

[John]

Yes. Saabs are deeply strange but really great cars that you can't help but love.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

You're missing out on great reggae and calypso then.

[BakedPenguin]

I tend to favor more sad or somber music in general (though certainly not all depressed-teen stuff like the Smiths or Cure). Happy, feel-good music mostly just annoys me.

Minor keys FTW.

[Lord Humungus]

I suggest some Coldwave then - Asylum Party, The Sound, Sad Lovers & Giants, and Snake Corps come to mind.

[Bill Dalasio]

Actually, I have Mountain Sound on my playlist.

[Zeb]

I'm really overgeneralizing. I really like lots of different music. Perhaps it's just that the happy music my wife likes annoys me.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I would love to see goth Robert Smith in pads, lined up across from Urlacher or Spielman for one series. Hilarity ensues.

[Pope Jimbo]

Tundra,

I'm going to excommunicate you for that heresy. If your buddy Robert Smith had just went down in bounds in 98, we would have won that NFC title.

I also think that it is funny that Smith who was so smart he could have been a doctor - or whatever- is now a talking head on the Big 10 network.

Give me AP AD.

[John]

Adrian Peterson is the best running back in the last 20 years not named Marshall Faulk or Barry Sanders. He is awesome. I put him ahead of Emmit Smith.