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Of Course Hillary Clinton Identifies with Cersei Lannister. They Are the Same Person.

"What Happened" invites readers to make an unflattering comparison with the mad queen of Westeros.

Queen HillaryDennis Van Tine/ZUMA Press/NewscomWhat's the difference between Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister and failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton? One is an entitled narcissist who quietly supported her lecherous husband (whom she clearly loathed) when it was politically convenient, then insisted it was her turn to rule (even though it wasn't), chose boot-lickers, ass-kissers, and elitist bankers as her advisors while alienating more competent and better-liked people who might have helped her, exacted petty vengeance on imagined enemies, escaped justice and the judgment of the people by destroying her main rival—the charismatic, income-inequality obsessed populist—with an explosive cheat, and was left confused why so many people in her country would rather be ruled by a complete political unknown who tells it like it is.

The other fucks her twin brother.

It comes as little surprise Clinton identifies with the mad queen. In What Happened, her new book about losing the presidential election to Donald Trump, Clinton writes:

Crowds at Trump rallies called for my imprisonment more times than I can count. They shouted, 'Guilty! Guilty!' like the religious zealots in Game of Thrones chanting 'Shame! Shame!' while Cersei Lannister walked back to the Red Keep."

Assuming this reference is genuine—and not something ham-fistedly inserted into the book by a culturally-woke ghostwriter—it's actually a bit revealing. It's true that Cersei is a tragic, occasionally sympathetic figure. But she's also one of the villains of the story: a manifestly incompetent ruler whose greatest talent is hurting every person who crosses her. She doesn't represent any ideology or philosophy beyond naked self-promotion. More than any other claimant for the Iron Throne of Westeros, she wants to rule because she believes it is her turn.

That Clinton would actively invite readers to make this comparison is, um, probably a partial answer to the question asked by the book's title. What happened? Nobody wants to vote for a Cersei.

Photo Credit: Dennis Van Tine/ZUMA Press/Newscom

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  • loveconstitution1789||

    Shame...shame....shame....shame....

  • Citizen X - #6||

    WE ALREADY COVERED THIS, ROBBY.

  • Red Rocks White Privilege||

    You'd think the man would at least be gracious enough to throw us a tip of the follicles. Maybe we need to start providing some fruit sushi bribes.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    The guy does kind of look like a Lannister, you'd think he'd pay his debts.

  • Ska||

    More like Viserys, but I don't know if RB Smoove has a hottie sister.

  • Red Rocks White Privilege||

    "What Happened. Hillary Clinton."

    One of the rare instances where you can judge a book by its cover.

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    The other fucks her twin brother.

    My word.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Spoiler alert!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    NO SPOILERS

  • croaker||

    Season 1 Episode 1. Not much of a spoiler at this late date.

  • Wizard4169||

    Hell, it wasn't much of a spoiler then. I'd already known about it for fifteen years.

  • ||

    I believe this one is long past the statute of limitations on spoilers.

  • ||

    Considering it is reveled in the first episode of the first season of the show.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    SPOILER ALERT

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    So I guess that makes Webster Hubbell = Jaime and Bubba = King Robert.

  • Elias Fakaname||

    So does this make Dick Morris's Tyrion?

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    That's Richard Morris, to you.

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    Hmm... I probably should've written "Mein GoT" instead.

  • Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian||

    Keep trying to appeal to those millennials, TreasonNN!

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    Robby must think this kind of language makes the magazine "edgy" and "cool." I guess that's what this place is all about now.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    He learned from his dad. NICK GILLESPIE

  • John C. Randolph||

    So, should the FBI be watching her like a hawk so that she doesn't blow up the capitol during Trump's first State of the Union speech?

    -jcr

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I think Soave is saying that Trump in this equation is Euron Greyjoy.

  • Exocetmd||

    Given Trump's apparent predilections, wouldn't that be "Urine Greyjoy"?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Oh, you.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Is this that Dungeons and Dragons show? Am I going to have to start shoving people in their lockers?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE ABOVE THE POPULAR DRAGON/ZOMBIE/TITTIES SHOW.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Nerdlinger, the only reason you don't have an atomic wedgie right now is because I need someone to do my trig homework.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    What's really funny is Hugh Akton is only 5'3" and weighs 97 pounds soaking wet.

  • Brandybuck||

    So, he's the Anime nerd making fun of the D&D nerd? Thought so...

  • Citizen X - #6||

    No, he's the guy with the rattail haircut, smoking in front of the 7-11 in just shorts.

  • HeteroPatriarch||

    If you record it, you can skip past the dragons and zombies parts.

  • ||

    Is this that Dungeons and Dragons show? Am I going to have to start shoving people in their lockers?

    I too was confused about which Cersei Lannister until Robby so graciously clarified.

  • Don't look at me.||

    Glad you said that, thought I might be the only one.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    No, this is way lower magic setting than most D&D, certainly less than Forgotten Realms or something. This is probably closer to Pendragon than anything.

  • Red Rocks White Privilege||

    Some morons were comparing her to Danaerys during the election (for god's sake, don't google the photoshopped image if you want to keep your lunch down), and that's not much better. Dany's an equally incompetent ruler with the same sense of entitlement, who maintains authority solely due to her proprietary control of the most powerful weapons of mass destruction on both continents.

  • Slocum||

    "her proprietary control of the most powerful weapons of mass destruction on both continents"

    Until, of course -- spoiler alert -- the Norks stole one.

  • Mickey Rat||

    Dany has a good heart...and good other bits in the upper torso area.

  • Paloma||

    Dany is very attractive, Hillary is not attractive at all.

  • Sevo||

    Red Rocks White Privilege|9.12.17 @ 2:04PM|#
    "Some morons were comparing her to Danaerys during the election ..."

    Anyone who relates realty to some pathetic TV series is moronic.
    Does anyone have a point here other than signalling that they've wasted their time watching some sit-com on TV?

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    Assuming this reference is genuine—and not something ham-fistedly inserted into the book by a culturally-woke ghostwriter—it's actually a bit revealing. It's true that Cersei is a tragic, occasionally sympathetic figure.

    The only time she gets my sympathy is when she takes her clothes off. Other than that, she meddles in the Game of High Stakes Power, sometimes bad shit happens to you when you do that.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    It's true that Cersei is

    Oh, and Robby, thank you for being you, baby.

  • IceTrey||

    Until I read it online I never took Cersei as mad. Mad as in angry yes but not as in crazy.

  • $park¥ leftist poser||

    When you play the Game of Bones, you jiz or you die. Or so I've heard.

  • TrickyVic (old school)||

    Why do you got to drag Hillary's husband into this?

  • ||

    Assuming this reference is genuine—and not something ham-fistedly inserted into the book by a culturally-woke ghostwriter—it's actually a bit revealing.

    This is an extreme stretch of an assumption.

    I can all but guarantee that HRC has never seen GoT, and isn't even really clear on what it is.

  • ||

    The dead giveaway is the reference to the Red Keep.

    I've been watching since Season One, and I would have described that scene as "that time Cersei had to march through the street naked with the people chanting and throwing shit at her."

    If someone had said "oh - when she was being marched back to the Red Keep?" I would have said "I guess - I didn't realize that building had a name."

    No way HRC even watches the show, let alone is such a freak over it that she knows what the Red Keep is and that Cersei lives there.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Come to think of it, that does seem like something that was inserted by a ghostwriter who'd gotten to know Herself a little too well.

  • Elias Fakaname||

    Like there isn't a single thing about Hildebeast that isn't completely phony and staged for the public.

  • HeteroPatriarch||

    Sure there is. She genuinely, truly loves vodka.

  • ||

    No way HRC even watches the show, let alone is such a freak over it that she knows what the Red Keep is and that Cersei lives there.

    I would imagine her time spent on set as Selena Meyer's body double keeps her pretty busy.

  • JWatts||

    HC: "GoT? Is that the knew Blackberry?"

  • Ecoli||

    Nerd alert!

  • ||

    This is an extreme stretch of an assumption.

    The outright obliviousness of comparing herself watching a Trump rally on TV to a woman who was being physically punished for her crimes is spot on though.

  • Zeb||

    I can all but guarantee that HRC has never seen GoT

    That seems like a bit of a stretch of assumption as well.

  • ||

    I have long operated under the assumption that the uber-wealthy and powerful don't spend their evenings sitting around watching TV, and that W.'s carefully wrought off-hand comments (for example) like "Laura and I were sitting and watching X the other night" are written by staffers looking to humanize them to the middle-class folks who do spend their evenings sitting around watching TV.

    I grant that I may be wrong, though.

  • Paulpemb||

    Obama was a pretty big Game of Thrones fan, even getting his pals at HBO to give him episodes before they aired. I think it's entirely possible that Hillary watches as well.

  • BYODB||

    Yeah, I actually came here to point this out. I don't even watch Game of Thrones but pretty much everyone I know does. While it's possible that Hillary watches it, I mean who really knows, I find it exceptionally unlikely that she would write anything about it and even more unlikely that she would write her own book in the first place.

    That would be way too much work for a Clinton.

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    She probably *coauthored* it.

    CLINTON: "That Trump, he...grrr, I hate him!"

    GHOSTWRITER [after a few minutes]: "OK, I just wrote a couple pages fleshing out that idea, do you approve?"

    CLINTON: "I don't have time for that, go and fix me a coffee and then let's write another chapter!"

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    I suppose she said she did chardonnay, not coffee.

  • ||

    that she would write her own book in the first place.

    ^ Exactly this. I assume that she reviewed a completed manuscript with ultimate control over content, but I would be shocked if she composed even one sentence herself.

  • BYODB||

    Exactly. And to be clear, this is how pretty much every politician writes books so I can't particularly single out Hillary for this.

    But there is no way on Earth Hillary would watch a show with tits in it around Bill.

  • ||

    This assumes that Bill and Hillary live under the same roof.

  • BYODB||

    Good point!

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    So, what was the queen on TV being punished for with her walk of shame? Turning people into toads or something?

  • Elias Fakaname||

    Fucking her brother, plus a bunch of other shit.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    Lack of humility.

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    "You had one job - to ghostwrite a book making me look sympathetic. But you compared me to some fantasy witch-queen and everyone's getting on my case about it. Guards, take this failure of a ghostwriter to the dungeon until he becomes a *real* ghost!"

  • Quo Usque Tandem||

    I can't seem to get past the image of HRH Hildabeast and the phrase "ham-fistedly inserted."

  • BYODB||

    *vomits up his own skeleton*

  • Citizen X - #6||

    SugarFree may be gone, yet his legacy lives on.

  • ||

    manifestly incompetent ruler

    Is that really an accurate description of Cersei? Power hungry and amoral, yes. But incompetent? Jury's out on that one.

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    If she was so competent, how did she end up naked and helpless and taunted by an angry mob?

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    This guy doesn't play nD-Chess.

  • Sports Reporter Charles Manson||

    Heck no, I only recently upgraded to the two-dimensional kind.

  • Mickey Rat||

    Hoist by her own petard.

  • Tony||

    Her incompetence is one of her most defining features in the books. They've made this much more subtle in the show, but note that she'd never have to blow up the Great Sept if she hadn't empowered the Faith Militant in the first place. Short-sighted, uses blunt force rather than tactical skill.

  • Wizard4169||

    Plus, she never even considers that she might be wrong about anything, ever. If her plans don't work out, it isn't because they were bad plans, it's because her henchmen were too weak, stupid or disloyal to carry them out properly. Plus, the combination of egomania, paranoia and insecurity ensures that she never asks anyone for advice, except for weak, cowed yes-men guaranteed to tell her what she wants to hear.

  • CE||

    I thought that was just a thinly veiled swipe at Red Staters and the govt they want (in the minds of the progs)

  • Brandybuck||

    She maneuvered to put her emotionally unstable nephew/son on the throne, and never bothered to keep him on a leash.

  • Tony||

    Well this is just plain mean. And if I wanted to hear about the righteous perfection of poor Saint Bernie, I'd go to Salon.

  • DRM||

    The available choices are lying about Hillary, being mean to Hillary, or saying nothing at all about Hillary.

  • Bra Ket||

    Of course we know you do go to Salon.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Which makes Trump... King Robert?

  • Tony||

    Trump is the Night King. Queen Hillary didn't think he was a threat, and now he's going to kill us all.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    That makes sense. And that means that Jon Snow must be.... Justin Trudeau?

  • Tony||

    Yeah! Except not as beautiful.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Tony is, as usual, wrong. Trump is totally King Robert - he's loudmouthed, boorish, unintellectual; he took the throne almost impulsively, and now finds himself in a position in which he is not comfortable and for which he is manifestly unsuited.

  • Tony||

    Way to take a small slice of Robert's life and dismiss the whole "greatest warrior in Westeros" part.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    No comparison is going to be exact.

  • ||

    That's part of Trump, er, Robert's self-invented mythology.
    In reality, Robert was a middling soldier at best who just happened to have an enormous ego.
    Much like his self-invented mythology about Lyanna Stark being raped and murdered by Mexicans, er, I mean Rhaegar Targaryean. Of course then afterwards he married the nearest rich blond woman as a trophy whife.

  • Liberty =><= Equality||

    There were a lot of comparisons of Trump to Euron Greyjoy last year, after Euron's speech about making the Iron Islands great again by building a yuge fleet, grabbing Dany's pussy and taking her dragons.

  • Bra Ket||

    Er why isn't it Bill Clinton as King Robert?

  • Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian||

    Garbage people like garbage television?

    No surprise there.

  • EBL||

  • EBL||

    Who really finished Hillary off... Other than of course Hillary.

  • AD-RtR/OS!||

    There are three kinds of people in the world:

    There are people that make things happen;
    There are people that watch things happen; and,
    There are people that now and then look up and say "What Happened?"!

  • Bra Ket||

    "Assuming this reference is genuine—and not something ham-fistedly inserted into the book by a culturally-woke ghostwriter.."

    Seriously though, it's standard practice to cynically cash in on fame with an "autobiography" that's is overwhelmingly the work of the ghostwriter. That kind of quasi-ethical practice, and indeed the idea of abusing it to the extremes of common sense, just fits Hillary so perfectly that I'd expect that nothing in the book was written by her at all.

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  • CE||

    Why would I settle for a paltry hundred bucks a day, when I can make 8,500 USD in a few weeks online and drive a new Alfa Romeo?

  • simplybe||

    Come on Robby tell us how you really feel about Hillary and stop beating around the bush lol.

  • CE||

    More than any other claimant for the Iron Throne of Westeros, she wants to rule because she believes it is her turn.

    I think you're talking about "Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons" when you talk about entitled claimants to the throne.

  • Red Rocks White Privilege||

    Yeah, but at least she has some claim given her dad was overthrown in a military coup and she's apparently the last surviving Targaryen. There's a reason the offspring of defeated kings are typically either killed or forced into exile.

  • CE||

    But she's also one of the villains of the story: a manifestly incompetent ruler whose greatest talent is hurting every person who crosses her.

    As long as Cersei defeats the evil Daenerys Targaryen and her horde of Dothraki savages and her flying WMDs and keeps them from laying waste to Westeros, Cersei is the true hero of the story.

    Jon Snow is some raving lunatic, worried about climate change and abominable snowmen and wanting everyone to come together unrealistically and sing kumbaya.

  • ||

    You know nothing, CE.

  • ||

    huh, I always thought she was Hairy Pooter.

  • Wonco the Sane||

    This is how we got President Hodor.

  • David Emami||

    You forgot "used underhanded means to defeat the self-righteous old man and his fanatical young followers who were obstructing her path to power" and "really hates the political leaders of the farming regions."

  • ||

    And similar to how Cersi was guilty for banging her cousin Laurus, which led to her opponents yelling shame; Hillary was guilty of mishandling classified information (under the negligence standard set forth in the stature), which led to her opponents yelling "Lock her up!"

  • ||

    Her counsin's name was not Laurus. I forgot what his name was but he was Lannister and joined the Faith Militant.

  • Sevo||

    "And similar to how Cersi was guilty for banging her cousin Laurus, which led to her opponents yelling shame; Hillary was guilty of mishandling classified information (under the negligence standard set forth in the stature), which led to her opponents yelling "Lock her up!""

    Having no idea who Cersi is, are you suggesting that the hag should not have been indicted for mis-handling classified data?

  • Agnes||

    WHA' HAPPEN?! Foreword by Fred Willard.

  • azrn602||

    LOVE this comparison!

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