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Brickbat: Time to Take Up Chewing Tobacco

cigarettefoter.comThe Laguna Beach, California, City Council has voted to ban smoking, vaping and the use of e-cigarettes in all public places, including sidewalks and alleys. Councilman Rob Zur Schmiede described the law as "balanced" because it allows people to continue to smoke in their homes and vehicles.

Photo Credit: foter.com

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  • Mr. Dyslexic||

    Well it's about time someone finally took this leap. Deep down inside I always knew California would one day lead the charge. It is kind of like masturbation, it seems like a really good idea at the time, but in the end, you're really only fucking yourself.

  • Inigo Montoya||

    I'm waiting for the day that masturbation will be on their banned list, at least as practiced by males. It seriously would not surprise me much at this point.

  • NoVaNick||

    There has long been a close link between uptightness over smoking and masturbation shame-think Freud had a lot to say about this. Basically, these are two pleasurable activities. We now know that smoking is unhealthy, but anti-smokers date back hundreds of years before anyone knew that smoking caused lung cancer. There was Ottoman Emperor Murad IV, for example, who ordered smokers tongues to be cut out and molten lead poured down their throats, and many others too including many of the alcohol prohibitionists who were also anti-smoking, and of course John Harvey Kellogg, who not only was vehemently anti-tobacco, but came up with the idea of circumcising boys en masse to prevent them from masturbating.

  • NoVaNick||

    Oh yeah, and Kellogg was a huge fan of eugenics

  • Rhywun||

    circumcising boys [...] to prevent them from masturbating

    Um... he didn't actually think that would work, did he?

  • Eeyore||

    I thought they did it to make the process last longer.

  • Rat on a train||

    Despite the proposed ban, Mayor Toni Iseman still worries about smoke that comes from inside homes — a complaint she's heard often from residents.
    Either you are too sensitive or your neighboor smokes a pack a minute.

  • Cyto||

    ;That's impressive.

    Although I did have a downstairs neighbor who managed to have their smoke infiltrate my apartment back in the days of attached home living. It was impressively obnoxious, and the landlord declined to see about fixing the air leaks. So we moved at the end of our lease.

  • Mickey Rat||

    Why did they let you out of Folsom Prison?

  • Eman||

    Not mutually exclusive...

  • gaoxiaen||

    Well, I'll avoid Laguna Beach next time I'm in California.

  • Miter Broller||

    Great! One law closer to Caltopia!!!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I am interested to see how the inevitable next step of banning smoking inside private property will play out.

  • Inigo Montoya||

    I think it will play out in a suspension of the pretence of needing a warrant to search a dwelling. Cops will knock say, "We got a call reporting a cigarette odor from here so we need to search for your place." Or maybe they'll just use a battering ram and not bother knocking.

  • ||

    I think it will play out in a suspension of the pretence of needing a warrant to search a dwelling. Cops will knock say, "We got a call reporting a cigarette odor from here so we need to search for your place." Or maybe they'll just use a battering ram and not bother knocking.

    Police shooting victims will be discovered with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in their pocket. Or at least in the vicinity of where they fall.

  • Jerryskids||

    I'm sure they already have bans or plans for bans on shared homes or vehicles - apartments and hotels I would think are already on the list.

  • Brandybuck||

    it's illegal in my town to smoke inside your condominium, because it's a multi-unit dwelling. That's pretty common all up and down the SF peninnsula. A blind eye it turned to pot, however. Go figure.

  • Eeyore||

    It already has. Smoking in attached dwellings is already illegal in Belmont and San Bruno.

  • Eeyore||

    I got kicked out of an outdoor concert once for smoking a cigarette while everyone around me was smoking some really dank crap. They got to stay.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Resident Catherine Williams, a 15-year-old at Laguna Beach High, told the story of her grandmother from Santa Barbara coming to visit once a month.

    "We go to Zinc (Cafe) and the bus stop is right there," she said. "When people get off, they stand there and smoke. One day a month, they ruin my family's visit with my grandma. If we had the smoking ban, we could say, 'You can't do that here.'"

    And once she tastes that power, it won't be long before she rules us all. But will it come soon enough to save granny's day?

  • Rhywun||

    They're probably all poor and immigranty too - yuck!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    But Hillary Cole wondered what effect the smoking ban would have on the many European visitors drawn to Laguna.

    "Maybe we can direct them to a place that's more secluded," she said. "Maybe there's a way to modify it without chasing away the European tourists."

    Finally, someone makes an argument for the ban that I can get behind.

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

    "Maybe there's a way to modify it without chasing away the European tourists."

    Simple.

    Have a non-Citizen designated smoking area.

    Progtard solutions, easy as pie.

  • Eman||

    Genius! As non-citizens they don't have the constitutional right to be protected from particulates.

  • dantheserene||

    EDV- "Non-Citizen Smoking Area. Foreign Passport Required for Entry".

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...Ryan Hallett, a city analyst who compiled the report, told the council that a recent report from the American Lung Association had lumped Laguna among 31 of 34 cities in Orange County that received a failing grade in its overall control of tobacco.

    And then how will Laguna Beach get into a decent college?

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

    And then how will Laguna Beach get into a decent college?

    How far away is Berkeley?

  • ||

    And then how will Laguna Beach get into a decent college?

    Wasn't it pretty much always going to sleep with Administrators? I mean, c'mon, it's Laguna Beach. We were never seriously talking about it getting into MIT on the merits.

  • Trigger Warning||

    Whenever the mask slips a little, these cranks reveal that they are actually cargo-cult ascetics, ecept for buttsecks.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "This is in response to council direction and to desire in our community," said Councilman Bob Whalen."We're imposing the will of people in Laguna."

    It's interesting Laguna has to impose its will on itself.

  • dantheserene||

    FoE- that is interesting. Maybe it would have been more accurate if they'd written it as, "the Will of the PEOPLE".

  • Mickey Rat||

    The Will shall Triumph over the people.

  • Rhywun||

    You know who else had the Will and a disdain for tobacco?

  • Agammamon||

    Will Kellog?

  • Rhywun||

    Ha well done

  • Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"||

  • Inigo Montoya||

    So sad.

  • notJoe||

    I too am sad Eddie's left.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    You forgot Mark Lanegan, you silly goose.

  • Gene||

    Living in the sticks, FTW.

  • Longtobefree||

    Why do they always include vaping with smoking? If this is supposed to be anti TOBACCO, what's with the irrelevant inclusions? It is possible to use a liquid that does not include nicotine. I have not come across any reliable studies of vaping having secondhand dangers. But, like guns, I guess if it LOOKS dangerous to a fascist, it can be outlawed.

  • Rhywun||

    None of this has anything to do with health or even looking dangerous. It's about looking low-class.

  • Eman||

    Vaporizers are more dangerous! You don't know that thing isn't a bomb or a USB dongle!

  • Inigo Montoya||

    Pretty soon they will ban chewing on pencils or pens because it looks a bit like smoking.

  • Longtobefree||

    Good point. How can we be SURE the graphite in the pencil is not really lead? For the children!

  • Robert||

    It's because it's thought of as a loophole. Or it's unfair to smokers if vapers get to vape.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Councilman Rob Zur Schmiede described the law as "balanced" because it allows people to continue to smoke in their homes and vehicles.

    Smokers better keep those windows shut tight, though. You gotta hotbox that shit or else get a police officer up you.

  • Marty Feldman's Eyes||

    Ha, I worked in Laguna Beach one summer and every night I'd smoke up a bowl in an alley on the way back to my apartment. Fuck them. This is the natural end to that weird town- they want to hang on to their self-image as a hippy-dippy artist colony, but the reality is they are just as uptight as any other rich coastal SoCal town that has skyrocketed housing prices.

  • NoVaNick||

    How long until the big one hits Cali? Can't come soon enough...or at least a tsunami that will sweep all the coastal progtards into the Pacific.

  • NoVaNick||

    So this being hippy dippy Cali, you could probably get away with vaping if you tell the cops its a 420 vaporizer.

  • Brandybuck||

    So when these laws first started hitting California cities, the decriminalize-pot-for-white-liberals movement was starting to get a head of steam. A friend and I were thinking of creating an air freshener spray that spelled like pot. Then you could smoke tobacco in your home, then spritz with pot spray, and the cops would think you were just smoking what the city council smoked, and it would be all hunky dory.

  • ColoradoKook||

    I need clarification. If I'm smoking while driving my car on the sidewalk, I'm OK, right?

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

    As long as you hit a minimum of Progtard bicyclists, I'm OK with that.

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