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Want to Save College Campuses from the Safe Spacers? Try Free-Ranging Your Kids.

Jonathan Haidt, co-author of 'The Coddling of the American Mind' thinks Free-Range Kids is the answer.

|||DreamstimeJonathan Haidt, the New York University professor who co-authored the explosive Atlantic piece "The Coddling of the American Mind" with First Amendment firebrand Greg Lukianoff, was recently asked what should be done about all these college kids who can't handle disturbing books or controversial speakers. Here is how he answered, according to First Things:

FT: So how do we move forward, out of this vindictive attack culture? Think young.

HAIDT: Children are anti-fragile. They have to have many, many experiences of failure, fear, and being challenged. Then they have to figure out ways to get themselves through it. If you deprive children of those experiences for eighteen years and then send them to college, they cannot cope. They don’t know what to do. The first time a romantic relationship fails or they get a low grade, they are not prepared because they have been rendered fragile by their childhoods. So until we can change childhood in America, we won’t be able to roll this back and make room of open debate.

My biggest prescription is that in every hospital delivery room, along with that first set of free diapers, should come the book: Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy. If everyone in America read the book Free-Range Kids the problem would be over in 21 years, when the first set of tougher kids filled our universities.

Woo-hoo!

As those of you who have read my book know, it's not really a "how to parent" book. It's a, "How did we get so scared about everything our children do/see/eat/hear/watch/try/encounter? And how can we come to recognize that while this worry feels instinctive, it is actually 'normal anxiety' magnified and twisted by a society bent on shoving fear down our throats?" book.

So the way to raise resilient kids is to be skeptical about the message we get all the time that they are just moments away from their doom: an encounter that will haunt them, a loss that will derail them, or an unsupervised couple of minutes that will result in their disappearance. Our society obsesses about the way kids can die in an instant, and ignores the fact that 99.9 percent of them won't. Instead they will overcome whatever is thrown at them and emerge no worse (and possibly better) for the wear.

Haidt's premise is that by avoiding more and more of our "fear triggers" (like, "She'll die if she goes around the corner without me!") we give those fears more power. They grow, and so does our kids' anxiety.

I love safety, but it's true that once we let our kids do things on their own, the pride and confidence that they feel goes a long way toward restoring "normal anxiety" back to its set point, instead of the red alert it is on today, all the time. Including on campuses.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

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  • ||

    One of the things I see that has always bothered me a lot, is how some parents think it's good to automatically side with their kids even when they are wrong. I have always refused to do this. How are they supposed to learn when you defend their bad behavior?

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    They could get jobs at the VA?

  • Quixote||

    Far better would be to arrest them whenever they cross the line towards incivility. Those who engage in inappropriate forms of mockery are prime candidates for prosecution and jail. For an excellent example, see the documentation of America's leading criminal "satire" case at:

    http://raphaelgolbtrial.wordpress.com/

  • ||

    one is expected to automatically side with friends/family no matter what

    This is what I'm referring to. And it should have limits. Particularly when it's your children and the children are wrong. I remember one time I had to tell one of my children they were wrong about a particular situation and some lady I worked with was mad at me about it because 'but, it's your chiild!'. And I said 'Yes, and in this case, my child is wrong and I'm not teaching them that wrong is right'.

  • John||

    That is very true. Honestly, you would have to be some kind of a nut to marry a woman who had teenage daughters. Those girls would have the power to completely ruin your life at a single word.

  • ||

    Honestly, you would have to be some kind of a nut to marry a woman who had teenage daughters

    FIFY

  • Pompey||

    That's why sloppy dicks are the way to go.

  • AlmightyJB||

    My mom was an elementary school teacher for 30 years. There would be parents who would show up at the school to kick a teachers ass because they sent them to the office or some other mild punishment for their shitty behavior. The were basically children themsrlves. It was always the parenrs of the kids whom the teachers spent 90% of their time dealing with which left them 10% to teach the other kids. No back up from the administration either.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Teachers get a fair bit of flak round these parts much of it deserved but I have to say they are completely right to hate those defensive parents. They are the worst.

  • AlmightyJB||

    My mom would be the first person to agree with much of what's said about teachers here. She was a kick ass teacher. You couldn't go anywhere without some teen ir 20 something coming up and hugging her and telling her she was the best teacher they ever had. She taught 2nd grade. She worked her ass off too including summers.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    JB. Please give your mom a very sincere Thank You for her hard work and worthy career.

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    "Teachers get a fair bit of flak round these parts much of it deserved but I have to say they are completely right to hate those defensive parents. They are the worst."

    Holy shit, I can't believe I agree with you. Fresh water change?

  • Copernicus would chip||

    Now, years and years later I've heard this story from my mother:

    She used to get quite embarrassed to go to the parent/teacher nights at school.

    The way it was set up, the teacher would just casually mingle with all the parents and speak a few minutes with each one, but there was no real privacy.

    The teacher would often give several consecutive parents a laundry list of issues they had with their kids.

    At some point, my mother would introduce herself and the teacher would go into a kind of teacher orgasm over me. Basically, I was the reason she was a teacher despite all those other cretins she had to deal with.

    Mom says a number of the other parents awkwardly slunk away around this time.

  • Sevo||

    AlmightyJB|11.23.15 @ 6:06PM|#
    "My mom was an elementary school teacher for 30 years. There would be parents who would show up at the school to kick a teachers ass because they sent them to the office or some other mild punishment for their shitty behavior."

    In grammar school, my brother and I were given notice. Near the beginning of every year, our teachers were invited to our home for dinner so the folks could gauge the teacher and the interaction. Most teachers accepted (mom was active in the PTA), and thereafter any claim of mistreatment by that teacher was tempered by that meeting.
    Not much got by dear ol' dad and mom....

  • ||

    in some cultures one is expected to automatically side with friends/family no matter what

    That actually explains a lot, thanks.
    See Arabs. Sometimes it seems like their entire culture is composed of pathological liars.

  • BigT||

    Arab and other ME culture is a patron-client model. Informal crony-ish networks take precedence over merit or formal relationships. Truth is not valued as much as loyalty. Islam fits this model very well. An Enlightenment would overturn it, so is most unlikely.

  • Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair||

    This is also the Thin Blue Line problem, cops who prioritize blind loyalty to fellow cops even when the fellow cops have violated dept policy, laws, the Constitution, and basic morality.

  • Careless||

    some parents think it's good to automatically side with their kids even when they are wrong

    I don't really believe this. I think they're incapable of believing their kids are in the wrong

  • Mindyourbusiness||

    Familiarize them with alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die . That might help.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    " parents emotionally disable their own children for the purpose of creating dependency"

    They do this for lazy,selfish reasons. They think this technique will create compliant, "best friends" and will eliminate the hard work of being a strict disciplinarian.

    They couldn't be more wrong. They create little monsters and then have to endure their drama and all the complications that come with it for the next 20-50 years.

    Nothing has a bigger payoff for a parent than investing a significant effort in the first 5 years of a child's life. If done properly, the remaining years of childhood go by relatively smoothly with just minor tinkering along the way.

  • ||

    Interestingly and to my surprise, I was watching Globo News with my wife yesterday and were doing a segment on helicopter parents and overly protected kids, they were portraying kids wearing giant bubbles around them on the playground on onward throughout their lives. I don't know the origin of the story, but it was all in Portuguese and they were talking about how all of this is bad for kids. The skit may have originated here, but they seemed to all agree that kids need to skin their knees and get a few bumps on the head so they don't grow up with no defense against anything hard they might run into in life.

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    "If everyone in America read the book Free-Range Kids the problem would be over in 21 years, when the first set of tougher kids filled our universities."

    By that time, however, the previous cohort will have fucked up the country so bad that the new, tougher kids won't have a chance in hell.

  • ||

    How can there be equality if some kids are tougher?

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    Better question: How can these new, tougher kids find any peace in a world where they all feel like John Spartan?

  • ||

    Are you kidding? The tough kids would simply kick over all the current wimps sand castles and laugh at them. Instead of blankets infected with smallpox, they will give the millenials books of dead baby jokes and other tasteless ethnic jokes.

    Maybe the more ethical of the new tough kids would find a way to fund reservations (giant bounce houses?) for the current pussies to live out their days in.

    Of course there will be a few misguided tough kids who romanticize the millenials:

    "You know the millenial americans used ever part of the feelz? They didn't just brush off bad feelings like we do."

  • Copernicus would chip||

    I gave my son his first monocle when he was only 3 years old.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    The problem as I see it is the 'free rangers' will always be playing defense, because 'free ranging' is about how I raise my child. The safe-spacers are about forcing a behavior on you.

  • ||

    All of your children are belong to us.

    /MHP

  • F. Iron-Ass Stupidity, Jr.||

    All of your children are belong to uth.

    Fixed it.

  • Rich||

    Nithe.

  • ||

    The problem as I see it is the 'free rangers' will always be playing defense, because 'free ranging' is about how I raise my child. The safe-spacers are about forcing a behavior on you.

    I kinda wish it also went by the name 'Offensive Parenting'. Mrs. Casual and certainly her mother get over protective on a regular basis. The majority of the time all that you have to do is, in a flat, even tone, tell the kids precisely what Mom/Grandma doesn't want them to do, and then find some other task to occupy your time.

    All they can do is take offense.

  • Pompey||

    Also forcing your kids into a pit fight works well I hear.

  • ||

    The tub, which has inflicted a total of 12 stitches on two of the broodlings, they have to be forced to get into. The fight pit they get into all on their own, they just have to be forced to take turns.

    Considering the number of overprotective adults around here who identified themselves by wetting their pants and crying, not because anyone got hurt, but because they got offended; yes, I think pit fights might be the perfect example.

    I just hope the fighting pays off in lost teeth before the pants-wetting-types can convince Mrs. Casual that she's mutilating her kids' mouths and scarring their psyches by not paying a professional large sums of money to inflict weeks of pain on them by cementing metal wires to their teeth.

  • Microaggressor||

    CPS is on it's way to Paul's house.

  • ||

    Chicago Public Schools should never be unleashed on someone's house.

  • ||

    The worse example of this ever was a party put on by some of our friends who also happen to be developers/IT guys. Somehow the conversation got around to how they were monitoring their kids internet usage.

    These were smart people and their solutions were pretty impressive. I caused a stir when I said I had absolutely no filters and no monitoring software. My kids were free to see whatever they wanted on the web. All the other parents were appalled that I hadn't locked down our internet connection. I said the only advantage I could see to doing so was to teach my kids basic hacking skills, because teenage boys would scour the earth for free pr0n.

    Unbelievable that a) people actually do shit like that and b) that I hang out with people like that.

  • R C Dean||

    "I'm sorry to hear that your kids aren't able to beat your filters. Have you looked into extra tutoring or some kind of remedial education for them?"

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    It's a tough call, because some things cannot be unseen.

    What if the poor kids come across an illustrated SF story? Or, god forbid, they stumble across this wretched hive of scum and villainy?

    What then, Holiness? Do you want your kids to end up like us?

  • John||

    The problem is some things are criminal. Can you trust your kid to never download any under age porn or bomb plans or something else that could get him cross ways with the law?

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    Well, if we're gonna get all serious here ;)

    I, like his Holiness, have a kid in high school and middle school. I give them a lot of freedom because, frankly, I believe this is how you raise tough, smart potential adults.

    I am very frank with them about the pitfalls of online retardation. Interestingly, neither of them make much use of FB and neither are on Twitter or Instagram. I have actually used many of the articles here as teaching tools for the stupid shit that the State can perpetuate on hormonal teenagers.

    Don't shelter, teach. Pay attention to what they are doing and spend time with them. It's not rocket science.

  • John||

    I am with you about not worrying about being exposed to the internet harming them. I just worry that our idiotic laws could cause them to do something that would do real harm to themselves.

    Maybe I am just paranoid but it is so easy to get cross with the law these days.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    It is very easy to get in deep shit with the State. Which is why the kids need to be trained in self defense. They need to be able to pause long enough to think about what they are doing. I can't fucking follow them around all the time!

  • John||

    Yes they do. But maybe when they are younger, you limit the situations they are in so they can learn those skills without the consequences being very harsh.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    Yep. That's exactly it. When they were younger it was easier to supervise because you are always with them (and they are using your computer). As they get older, they have their own devices and are on their own way more.

    It's probably gonna piss people off to say it, but it's similar to training a dog. You have to gradually increase their freedoms so their failures are manageable and instructional. As they progress, they can be trusted to do fewer really stupid things.

  • John||

    It is not insulting at all. It is the truth.

  • The Hyperbole||

    based on the behavior of some my friends kids- That is extremely insulting to dogs.

  • fafalone||

    Indeed.. for all the tropes about the hot mom or hot teacher, by and large most teenagers are most interested in other teenagers. And thanks to idiotic laws that treat a 15 year old's naked selfie the same as violent sexual abuse of toddlers, even if they manage to avoid getting caught accessing younger stuff because illegal is illegal so it's all lumped together, they'll STILL get their lives ruined because of more idiotic laws that don't exempt teenagers from material of kids their age. And god forbid they get a girlfriend/boyfriend before they're both 18... parents are going to have to destroy all their electronics and lock an EMP to them to stop them from using others, an ironically less insane protection against the insanity of CP production charges for teenagers sexting eachother. How in the name of mighty Logic do people think it's ok to say 'ok, you can legally have sex with eachother, but you're both doing hard time and facing lifetime sex offender registration if you dare send eachother nudies!' and to really spite logic, 'you'll be tried as an adult for exploiting a minor, YOURSELF!!'. Thanks, North Carolina.

    And yet you'll be burned at the stake if you dare suggest that maybe there's something wrong with treating teenagers the same as toddlers.

  • ||

    My youngest is the sports fanatic in our family. When he was 8 or so I bought a years subscription to SI for him. The only issue I read was the swimsuit issue because it was thrown in front of me by my wife asking why I thought this was appropriate for a young boy.

    Have to admit that it was pretty impressive. A whole section on hotties in just body paint that was way better than some of the playboys we stole as kids.

    The funny thing is that the Youngest Boy would have been upset at that issue because it didn't have any stats or stories about actual sports. Wife just didn't understand why I squirreled away the issue.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    Awesome. My grandfather, a long-time subscriber, always saved that issue for me. My grandma hated it, but gramps won out.

    A good man.

  • ||

    Or, god forbid, they stumble across this wretched hive of scum and villainy?

    And become libertarians? The horror.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    Exactly.

  • tarran||

    Or, god forbid, they stumble across this wretched hive of scum and villainy?

    A couple of weeks ago, my son startled me almost to incontinence when he asked me out of the blue...

    "Dad, who the hell is Bo Cara? ... Cause he's an incredible asshole!"

    Then I had to endure my fiance's tirade about corrupting his tender little mind with /shudder "those libertarians at Reason."

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Hey Tarran's son, if you ever need advice about girls let me know; I am here to help.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    *WARNING*

    STRANGER DANGER!

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Were you talking about him in your sleep?

  • tarran||

    Nope. My son occasionally lurks here.

  • Illocust||

    Oooo, tell him hi for me!

  • Acosmist||

    So when libertarians argue that censorship shouldn't exist because the parents should stop kids from being exposed to that kind of stuff, they're liars?

    Huh.

  • ||

    Maybe my meter is busted, but ...

    I think parents who worry about kids seeing pr0n are worried far too much about something that is pretty natural. If parents want to censor that, let them knock themselves out. I didn't tell them that they couldn't censor the shit out of their kids.

    But yeah, govt censorship of the internet shouldn't be a thing.

  • tarran||

    It's too late with my kid. There was an incident when his best friend at the time (a girl) was given an I phone with no parental controls on the Internet. They were ten years old.

    Within three days they were watching hardcore porn... until my then six year old daughter ratted them out, because they wouldn't let her watch too.

    Huge furor. Her parents blamed me. I did not have the presence of mind to use the explanation the parents gave in the episode of South Park where the kids got hold of a copy of "Back Door Sluts 9". Totally missed opportunity...

  • BigT||

    I dunno. If you let them see pron how will they develop the desire/technique to feel up some girl when they turn 11, like I did?

  • kbolino||

    No, you're just an obtuse whiner who never says anything of substance.

  • ||

    What a great way to encourage teen age boys to learn useful IT skills! If there would have been internet when I was a teen, holy cow, I would have probably locked myself in my room and barred it shut with barricades that no army on earth could breech. And if my parents would have blocked the intertoobz, I probably would have found a way to bring down a communications satellite and use it for my own intertoobz connection. Fuck, all we had back then where old issues of Playboy and Penthouse and you had to wait for one of your friends who was brave enough to steal those from their dad.

  • ||

    I would suggest that the concern is much more about controlling the social circle than the content.

  • tarran||

    I would suggest that the concern is much more about controlling the social circle than the content.

    If you *do* things with your kids' social circle, while acting like a parent, you'l find that most of the time you need not be scared of it.

  • ||

    while acting like a parent

    Or even just not an out-and-out sociopath. Even then, sometimes we all end up serving as a warning to others.

  • ||

    I'm not sure I follow. The Internet opens up the door to non-local contact. I'm not worried about dealing with anybody within a 15 mile radius who my child might engage with in person. Those interactions generally have some level of oversight or are at least in a public environment. Unmonitored Internet interactions aren't something I believe my child is ready for. We're working up to it. Probably by 12 or 13. There's a level of both maturity and awareness that's necessary.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    Meh. I stopped monitoring my sons' internet use around 13. The oldest, now 18, is a reasonably well adjusted college freshmen with no psycho-sexual disorders that I'm aware of. The younger, my aspie, well, he's not into girls - or boys. He's basically Sheldon Cooper.

    For mine, I don't believe unblocked internet access as teens was really an issue.

  • ||

    All the other parents were appalled that I hadn't locked down our internet connection. I said the only advantage I could see to doing so was to teach my kids basic hacking skills, because teenage boys would scour the earth for free pr0n.

    Yeah, I'm 100% agreement on this. I'd even add on the usual 'out of sight, out of mind, problem solved' b.s. The only way I'd put a filter on is specifically to challenge my kids or give someone the impression that things are on the 'up and up' (Other than screwing over people who show up at my house and are rude about wifi access). Even then, the boys already know to go jump on a public wifi access point or share stuff through sneakernet or other medium. The filter doesn't do much to get rid of the media, it pretty much just guarantees that your kids go somewhere else to learn about it and/or don't find out about nudity and sex norms until they lay hands on a cell phone or whatever other source.

  • Ted S.||

    Interestingly, the local news today was promoting a moral panic story about "camouflage apps" and the horrifying idea that teens might be hiding things from their parents.

    I didn't stick around to watch the report.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    As a network administrator of a global manufacturing firm ( have I said 'fuck healthcare' lately?) I put no filters on my network. Because I can know in an instant what she's doing, and block accordingly on a dime.

  • bvandyke||

    I also don't filter anything on our internet connection. Me and the Mrs. have had some discussion about it. She wants it completely filtered, I'm for leaving it open. She is afraid our son will see the bad stuff, me not worried (he will find it no matter what). I figure if he something truly disturbing he might ask me about it, then I can explain just how sick I am because I know what it is.

    My wife was one of the helicopter moms, not so much now. I've won her over to my side (mostly). Though she is still worried for him to walk to the store outside our neighborhood. My son is almost 15, looks 20, 5'10" and 220lbs (not too much fat, a lot of muscle). He could probably go in and buy beer without being carded. She is still worried that someone will take him. I tell her, if they do they will bring him back one they have to feed him.

  • bvandyke||

    my point - I treat the internet and crap you can see on it like guns. Teach them how to handle it, respect it, how to handle it, and how to use it safely and things come out much better.

  • R C Dean||

    Sending free range kids to a safe space school isn't going to change the school.

    Because a free-range kid in a safe space college is going to get hounded by the safe spacers for not falling into line.

  • ||

    Maybe the free range kids would meet other normal kids at the safe space school and cut class with them?

    They could roam the playground, launching random attacks against school administrators while yelling Wolverines!

    Seriously, the only reason I went to high school at all in Spring semester was to meet up with my fellow truants and plan the afternoon's activities.

  • John||

    Honestly Jimbo, I think some of these kids needed bullying in schools. Maybe if they had experienced getting the shit kicked out of them a few times, they might realize what real problems are and stopped whining about pretend ones.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    And it's not like bullies disappear when you get out of school. Learning how to deal with them is also a valuable career skill.

  • John||

    Yes. It is like tyrannical teachers. They suck and often treat you unfairly. But guess what, bosses are sometimes like that. And you can't always just quit your job and you certainly can't run to mommy. Part of growing up is learning to deal with unfair and lousy situations. These kids seem to have no idea that is even possible let alone essential to success.

  • Cytotoxic||

    School is not the place for that. There is no 'dealing' with bullying at school because it's basically a prison for kids. School is supposed to be a place to learn things like math and reading/writing. 'Social skills' is not a legit function of school.

  • John||

    Of course it is. Part of learning is learning how to learn from and succeed in different environments. If you never learn to do that, you haven't learned much.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Nope. School is just for learning math and such and it is barely capable of doing that. Throwing a bunch of disruptive behavior in there will wreck that. Why would a room full of people the same age be a good environment to learn that kind of thing anyway? Yeah I'm sure that a bunch of fifth graders will impart valuable social skills on your children.

  • Hyperbolical (wadair)||

    Why would a room full of people the same age be a good environment to learn that kind of thing anyway?

    That's part of the problem. They need to be exposed to other kids of differing ages so they can learn from the older kids and learn to mentor the younger ones. The current strategy of separating kids by age group is wrong-headed.

  • ||

    That's what I've never understood about people who say you shouldn't home school because your kid won't learn social skills. I didn't want him to learn how to act around 14-year-olds, I wanted him to learn to interact with adults.

  • ||

    I didn't want him to learn how to act around 14-year-olds, I wanted him to learn to interact with adults.

    I'm split on this. Half the people I know who homeschooled wanted their kids to interact with adults, as adults, and particularly, as adults of the prototypical ultra-conservative white variety. Not adamant racists, but they pretty clearly had notions of class that they liked to see observed *and perpetuated* by their children. And while I kinda think their ideas were... misguided, I can certainly see how, today, I wouldn't want my kids to be raised in a manner subservient to or molded by prototypical millenials.

    Not exactly bagging on homeschooling but part of growing up, IMO, is selecting who your peers are and learning to get along with everyone (or not), which homeschooling doesn't exactly/explicitly offer.

  • Hyperbolical (wadair)||

    With all due respect, I think you are seeing only a small part of the picture. We homeschooled for several years and used the opportunity to take our kids to most of the fifty US states. They saw many museums and other things that public school kids rarely have access to because they're bound by the school's schedule. They learned to navigate and get themselves from one place to another. By experience they learned to appreciate various microcultures which make them more open to other's ideas. And they spent a lot of time around adults. Interestingly, they are more comfortable around adults than around kids because their interests are larger. This will do well for them now that they are young adults in college and working. They also marvel at the immaturity of their peers.

    Homeschooling opens many doors to education and socialization that is just not possible in the typical school. Now it helps that our kids have a nurse and an engineer for parents. So this may not be the best for every family. But you should not dismiss homeschooling outright.

  • Notorious UGCC||

    With me, I don't think it was the bullying so much that was the problem as the "just ignore them and they'll be nice" attitude and the failure to impart any assertion skills or self-defense suggestions - when it built up too much and I'd just beat the shit out of them, and got punished for it.

  • ||

    Maybe the free range kids would meet other normal kids at the safe space school and cut class with them?

    That's how kids like me became known as "a bad influence" by my friends' parents.

  • John||

    I talked to a friend of mine with two kids who lives in NOVA this weekend. She says the public schools in NOVA run Kindergarten from 9 to 3:30. She sends her kids to a private one that is three afternoons a week. Her fellow mothers are appalled that she could do that. They can't believe she isn't making sure her daughter can already read and isn't in school all day.

    Remember, we are talking about five year old kids here. Parents in this country have gone insane. There is no other way to put it. I don't think this generation of parents ever matured or grew into full adults with any kind of perspective. An adult with any perspective or wisdom would know better than to worry about whether their kid learns to read at 5 and would understand taking a kid that young and locking them in a desk all day is child abuse.

    I weep for these kids. What chance do they have?

  • ||

    If the parents there are really concerned about their kids getting gainful employment in NOVA, instead of reading, they should start teaching them to lie and manipulate their classmates for their own gain. "How to get all my classmates to give me their lunch money for their own good 101" would be a useful class.

  • John||

    They are teaching them to mindlessly conform and that holding any unapproved opinion will result in ruthless punishment. That sounds like pretty good training for government and corporate America to me.

  • ||

    If that were true of corporate America I would have been fired from every permanent position and contract I've ever had. I've always worked for the private sector. So I can't comment on government employment.

  • John||

    It is true for a lot of corporate America. You have been very lucky in your employers.

  • ||

    Well, of course there are always the silly office politics and the 'team player' non-sense. But it's all easy enough to navigate for anyone with some self restraint. But I don't remember any situation ever where I've been told that I can't have an original thought or had to mindlessly go along with whatever silly shit some executive came up because they had nothing better to do. I've had my disagreements with plenty of executives though and managed to survive it. Resisting the desire to choke the living shit out of one of them is probably key to that.

  • bvandyke||

    I blame the Grandparents. They started all of this. Most of the people I grew up with (I'm 47) were raised this way. They had no rules, parents didn't let them fail and fought all their battles. Now their kids are worse.

  • Azathoth!!||

    At 5?

    These are children that can't read at 5?

  • straffinrun||

    Went camping in the mountains with a group of 9 other parents and their 6 year old kids this weekend. One of the kids brought a DVD player (yeah, I know that's stupid) and 7 of the kids were laying on the ground, squeezed against each other watching Mickey Mouse on the tiny screen. As I'm walking by them I notice one the kids is not from our group. I ask, but nobody knows the 2 year old. She had stumbled over from another campsite and saw Mickey playing and decided she'd join us. About 30 minutes later her parents come over to our site with a "Oh, there she is. The little rascal".

    Letting your 2 year old to wander about in the mountains, near a small river? It ended fine, but could have been a disaster. Some idiot parent could have called protective services and gotten the kid removed from her parents. Of course, this is Japan and parents let their 7 year olds take the train or bus by themselves to school.

  • John||

    Everyone is in one ditch or another. They either do something like you describe or they won't let their 14 year old walk to the bus stop alone. I am left to wonder if there are any sane people in this country having kids.

  • ||

    I don't think the level of helicopter parenting we have here in the USA exists anywhere else in the world. It's also doubtful that anyone in any other country on earth, as far as I know, would call the cops if they saw a neighbors kid playing alone in their own yard. Or that the cops would come and take the kids for it. Only in the USA have we reached that level of insanity.

  • John||

    One of my best friends lived in Argentina for about ten years. He says school bullying just doesn't exist down there. That the idea of students ganging up and picking on and being cruel to one or two outsiders just doesn't exist.

    All of these problems seem to be America specific. I really think they are in large part the product of our really fucked up and tyrannical public schools. If you think about it, the only other place I can think where bullying happens is in the military or sports teams. Places where one person failing directly harms the rest of the group. Our public schools are in many ways like that and there is no reason for them to be.

  • ||

    When I've told my wife and some people in Brazil about all of this stuff, they don't believe me. My wife does now because she lives here and it's hard to escape it if you see the news or any social media sites at all.

  • John||

    We have a crazy school system. The public schools just need to go. They create so much harm.

  • Rhywun||

    I saw no evidence of bullying when I lived in Germany. All public schools. It's more than that.

  • ||

    Just about everyone I knew during my school years were bullied at one time or the other. It was all a matter of size and age.

  • John||

    In America though right? What is it about America that causes that?

  • ||

    Of course, I was born here and lived here all my life.

  • ||

    I don't want to call your friend a liar, but "people being shitty to each other", of which school bullying is a subset, is hardly unique to America. I could believe that it happens more in some places than others, but the idea that it doesn't happen in other places just doesn't quite pass the smell test.

  • John||

    That is what I thought initially too. But the more I think about it the less I agree. Sure people are shitty to each other. But they usually are over ethnic or racial or religious things. The American youth culture of thus going after some designated other without any real root in any kind of existing ethnic division is very fucked up and I think might be unique to here.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    "Ijime" or taking bullying and cranking it up to Asian.

  • ant1sthenes||

    So, what, people were all buddy buddy and kumbaya when everyone lived with their own tribe? No bullying then?

  • Cytotoxic||

    Japan's bullying problem is far worse than Ameirca's.

  • straffinrun||

    Far worse? Check out the stats on assaults in schools in Japan vs The US. Yes, the Japanese group centric society creates some disgusting psychological bullying, but outright violence in American schools is much worse.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    To be fair, "worse" is a purely qualitative term. Indeed, one could argue that the Japanese have the same, or even greater, rate of violence but that it's just directed inward...leading to the high rates of teen suicide.

  • straffinrun||

    We'd have to qualify bullying, too. The suicide rate has a lot to do with societal views on suicide here. In my experience, I'd rather have my kid in a Japanese school, given my kid is well adjusted and so not vulnerable to ijime, than an American school. On science and math education, it's not even debatable.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Or prisons. Which our schools in no way resemble, so I can't imagine why I brought it up.

  • ant1sthenes||

    That was in reference to If you think about it, the only other place I can think where bullying happens is in the military or sports teams.

  • straffinrun||

    They do it for "Da Childrin!". I hear the stories come out of the States and hope it's hyperbole. But if the threshold for taking a kid from their parents is as low as it appears, the state truly has taken over the role as parent.

  • GamerFromJump||

    When I was in HK, and currently in Beijing, I see little kids on the MTR/subway all the time going to or from school. Neither city's people saw a problem.

    It really is a culture thing.

  • Medical Physics Guy||

    Yeah, we read FRK when our son was about 1. It's never stopped influencing us. That and Emme Pikler. We find the Steiner Waldorf system to be quite compatible with free-range, for all its quirks.

  • Cytotoxic||

    The only thing nearly as crazed as helicopter parenting is free-range parenting. No sorry your kids need boundaries and rules. Free range parenting = not doing your job as a parent.

  • John||

    If it is taken to the extreme sure. I have never read FRP. But I don't think it means kids have no rules or boundaries. I think it is just a rejection of the idea that those rules and boundaries must be so extreme as to never entertain any risk or initiative.

  • R C Dean||

    I would have said helicopter parenting is not doing your job as a parent, which is part keeping your kid safe from harm, and part, pay attention now, preparing them for the hard, cold, real world.

    What you call "free-range" parenting is pretty much parenting until very recently.

  • Cytotoxic||

    They are both bad.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Eh. Lots of education in Ye Olde Days was very "hands-on" and repetitive; go-work-outdoors-with-dad type of stuff.

    As I understand it, some of Free Range is very Find Your Inner Snowflake -- which isn't the best approach IMO for a 5-year old.

  • ||

    If you would have seen the things we did when I was a kid, you would shit your pants, snapper. When I was growing up, being a pussy got you beat up every day, not an enjoyable thing, so you got tough and survived.

  • John||

    I grew up in the same. I can't say I liked it or that it was a good thing. But I will say it makes me laugh at these snowflakes now.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Then frankly I am glad I am not growing up in your world. It created a bunch of assholes. If this 'rough and tumble' world was so good at producing independent thinkers, then where the hell are they? I reject both the helicopter parenting and the 'beat the weak' paradigms they are both horrible.

  • Microaggressor||

    Did some meanie kick you out of your safe space?

  • ||

    Did some meanie kick you out of your safe space?

    Yes, he got kicked out of Canuckistan, on purpose, because Murika is so great. And now he's complaining about Murikans.

    And complaining about though guys, all the while pretending to be one who wants to get some boots on the ground in the ME.

    Myself, I think if you're gonna advocate boots, you should be willing to wear them.

  • Cytotoxic||

    "Myself, I think if you're gonna advocate boots, you should be willing to wear them."

    But that's because you're a twit, and because you need a way of dodging the issue.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Myself, I think if you're gonna advocate boots, you should be willing to wear them.

    It would give him a firsthand look at the failed policies he advocates. I think it'd be a good learning experience for him.

  • ||

    If this 'rough and tumble' world was so good at producing independent thinkers, then where the hell are they?

    A lot of them are now libertarians.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Ha ha ha ha

    Define 'a lot' please.

    You sound like my parents and their family talking about how awesome they were for acting like uncivilized shits in their childhood and how deprived we are for not doing the same things. I usually give them the 'are you done yet?' look about 30 sec into this. These people are as dumb and prone to fuck ups as anyone. Any positive effects of their childhood experiences did not set them apart from their age cohort.

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    Then frankly I am glad I am not growing up in your world.

    How old are you?

  • Copernicus would chip||

    He's still growing up.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    Free range parenting = not doing your job as a parent.

    Yeah, this is bullshit. Go drink another pumpkin spice latte and calm down.

    Free range just means giving the kid a bit more freedom to challenge themselves. It doesn't mean abdicating all responsibility.

  • ||

    Free range just means giving the kid a bit more freedom to challenge themselves. It doesn't mean abdicating all responsibility

    It's the classical liberal vs libertarian position. 'You don't want to fund gay cowboy art, so you're an anarchist who wants old ladies to starve and die in the streets!'

  • Cytotoxic||

    "Free range just means giving the kid a bit more freedom to challenge themselves. "

    No it doesn't. You're stretching the definition by a country mile.

  • DaveSs||

    I don't think you understand what FRK really is.

    FRK is all about using reason and logic to set rules and boundaries, instead of fear and paranoia.

    As Lenore would put it: Free-range is not free-wheeling

  • Roger the Shrubber||

    You and the parents you criticize have a misconception of FRP.

  • bvandyke||

    I have not read FRK but to me parenting means raising your child to be a productive (for lack of better term), well adjusted adult. Give them the ability to stand on their own and succeed.

    My wife and I figure we are 180 degrees from all the other parents we know. We let our son fight his battles, fail, experience, etc. We are there to help him back up. The other parents we know don't let their kids do anything, like they are wrapped in bubble wrap.

  • Loki||

    Our society obsesses about the way kids can die in an instant, and ignores the fact that 99.9 percent of them won't.

    B-b-but... IF IT SAVES JUST ONE CHILD'D LIFE!!!1!!!!111!!!!! /retard

  • John||

    Our society is filled with over grown children who have no idea what real problems and real tragedy is and thus obsess about made up ones.

  • ||

    That's pretty much it.

  • ||

    My son is naturally smart. I raised him to be tough and think for himself. He hiked, camped, learned to fish and shoot and read voluminous amounts. I remember making a special effort to have him read Old Man and the Sea and discuss it at length with him. I taught him to work hard for what he wants and stand on his own two feet.

    He is 24. He just opened his own business this past weekend, an exercise gym. He has a prime location in the busiest part of town and build the place out himself. He needed 42 signups to be in the black. He has over 100 signatures as of this morning. He is kicking ass.

    How many businesses are that far in the black in their first month of opening?

    I couldn't be prouder.

  • Tundra, well-chilled.||

    That makes my day, Suthen. Congratulate the boy for me!

    You one of the 100?

  • The Last American Hero||

    So the moral of the story IS do more squats. I'll be damned.

  • Mr Lizard||

    Yes but is it a douchebag gym?

    *sigh of a recovering upper body warrior*

  • ||

    Yes, it is a douchebag gym. Aren't they all?

    I tease him that what he is really selling is vanity. He openly acknowledges that and recognizes the douchiness of it all, the laughs all the way to the bank.

  • Ted S.||

    Curves, or Crossfit?

  • ||

    Huh?

    Hell, I don't know. I am not into that scene.

    He bought a 'Fit body bootcamp' franchise, so whatever they are. I just go to eat lunch with him and snicker about all the narcissistic 20 somethings watching themselves work out in the full length mirrors.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    The membership for those places is pretty high. Good for him.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Good on him.

  • ||

    Good stuff, Suthenboy, you did it right.

  • Cytotoxic||

    I wish I was as cool as your son. Or as young.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    We all wish you were cooler.

  • bvandyke||

    That is great!

  • AlmightyJB||

    "Want to save college campuses from the safe spacers? "

    Not really. End the charade.

  • ||

    Yeah, I'm ready to let them burn it down.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Jonathan Haidt and Lenore Skenazy? It's a nexus of Wrongthink up in this joint.

    In all seriousness, we homeschooled with lots of cues from Montessori. Free range isn't a complete disaster, but kids need some focus and guidance and I think the Montessori approach has a nice balance when it comes to education (at least for the early years).

  • John||

    I can't figure out what their point is. It surely can't be "don't give your kid any rules". Is it?

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    I'm not sure if it's just that I've met all the dumbfucks who call themselves free-rangers or if it really is that bad, but there's plenty in the homeschool groups we've been a part of who don't do shit to educate their kids.

    It honestly doesn't turn out as badly as you'd expect, but usually the kid ends up studying the 1-2 subjects that interests him and lets the others fall by the wayside -- and there's zero sense of self-discipline with that parenting approach, because discipline itself isn't particularly valorized. Again, not sure if that's because the parents are lazy shits or because that's actually what Free Range tells you to do, but either way I cringe whenever I hear a homeschool parent start to tell me how wonderful Free Range parenting is.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Okay this is basically what I am talking about and referring to when I objected to FRP up above. Children need order and a form guiding hand.

  • ||

    No, they need the right kind of role model. You can't force kids to be what you want, you have to show them the way.

    This is a common mistake and the reason there are so many parental failures. Stop ordering them around and lead the way. They will follow.

    I homeschooled a dozen or so kids to one degree or another, four of them for six years. Every one of the long termers is a success story. Every. Damned. One.

    Neonatal nurse.
    Business owner
    Business owner
    Pharmacist
    Store manager
    Apple tech

    The others that I only had for a year or so turned out spotty.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    Suthenboy,
    throwing strikes again.

    The disastrous results achieved by these "modern parents" are only partly the results of their irrational parenting techniques.
    The biggest disaster for their kids is that THESE ARE THEIR PARENTS!!

    Do you want your kids to be decent human beings?
    Try being a decent human being yourself. You job is now 90% complete.

  • ||

    Hear, hear.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    Children need order and a form guiding hand.

    Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

    What do you mean by 'order'? What do you mean by 'guiding hand'?

    There are tremendous variations in the meaning of those words. Many very permissive parents have wonderfully happy and successful children. Many very strict parents have wonderfully happy and successful children.

  • ||

    I had a chem professor that was an extreme authoritarian parent. He had a firm hand and held his son to strict standards.

    The kid hanged himself when he was a sophomore in college. His grades weren't up to par.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    And I could provide an example of a permissive parent whose kid became a junkie.

    There are always parental and personal failures. Parenting style isn't as important necessarily as the quality and integrity of the relationship. Some people have mad parenting skills, some people don't. Permissiveness or strictness are just styles.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Asian?

  • Cytotoxic||

    Order: chores (not too many but a regular amount), repercussions for lack of manners, respect, enforcement of academic excellence, social monitoring

    Guiding hand: the person who imparts the above

  • SusanM||

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    My understanding is free range isn't unschooling. Unschool can be, in my observed experience, a disaster. Free range is just letting them have freedom enough to develop some independence and to fail occasionally.

  • Mr Lizard||

    My people tried the whole free-range kid fad. We found that it made the meat a little too tough.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Do you know who else authored an explosive piece?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    I don't believe these kids are really fragile. They are instead aggressive. They've been taught sometimes subtly sometimes not so subtly that victims win, that victim status can be a victory if used appropriately. They, therefore, seek out that status and use it to manipulate situations either to their advantage or just because they can - as an exercise in power. For the most part, it's done unconsciously or semi-consciously. College kids demanding trigger warning are equivalent to a 5 year old demanding the light be left on when they go to bed. It seems innocent because, hey, they're "afraid" but sometimes it's just an attempt to push a button so see how the parent will react or overreact.

    I have to teen sons with many friends. I've listened to countless conversation in which someone was "victimized". Guidance counselors were brought in, parents where called, therapists were employed, and medication was prescribed. Some teems pull this lever repeatedly. It's an attention seeking device that's worked effectively for them for years. Why wouldn't they continue the same behavior when in college? Something else to consider: teams of specialist earn a living within this structure. Economically it benefits many. Teens learn that not only can they gain status by employing this tactic, they can earn an living as an "activist" or professional service provider. It's self-perpetuating.

  • ant1sthenes||

    As fun as it is to blame parents for this, I wonder to what extent some of this deeply illiberal behavior among kids is them imitating the twelve years of "zero tolerance" bullshit they experienced in school?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    It is all the parent's fault. I blame cell phones.

  • Microaggressor||

    The radiation, it's scrambling their brains. Just like those scrambled eggs on drugs.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    The phones, which many of them are given when they are pretty young, instill a sense of independence, but since they are not paying for the phone that independence comes without responsibility.

    Boom, theory.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    Except those phones create dependence, not independence.

    Boom, counter-theory.
    You been served, homey.

  • Mrs. Lemuel Struthers||

    I think it's feedback loop between school, parent and kid.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    "twelve years of "zero tolerance" bullshit they experienced in school?"

    Yes, these policies have long ranging and long lasting consequences.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    GOP Pastor: Victims of Paris theater shooting were "devil-worshipers"

    Kevin Swanson of Generations Ministries said last Thursday that the 89 people massacred inside the Bataclan theater were “devil-worshippers.” Two weeks earlier, Swanson headlined his own “Freedom 2015: National Religious Liberties Conference” featuring Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, and Bobby Jindal.

    Swanson believes God will annihilate America for tolerating homosexuality and seemed to say God already made an example out of the Bataclan.

    “There’s certainly a providential irony here,” Swanson said of the fact that California rock band Eagles of Death Metal reportedly played “Kiss the Devil” as terrorists began firing AK-47s into the crowd. “They went from singing about the devil to meeting the devil face-to-face.”

    [snip]

    Cruz and Huckabee’s presidential campaigns did not respond to a request for comment about Swanson.

    Previously, Swanson has said that gay people should face the death penalty; that the movie Frozen turns little girls into lesbians; and that natural disasters are the fault of godless fornicators.

    Is it really unreasonable to expect people running for a secular office to avoid crazies like this?

  • AlmightyJB||

    Better vetting would seem to be prudent. I find the whole infatuation with teh gays quite weird. All the fucked up shit in the world and these guys get their panties in a bunch about that. Some sort of repressing going on.

  • ||

    I don't think it is all that repressed.

    The old 'come into the closet and pray with me, brother' joke didn't get dreamed up out of thin air.

  • ||

    The more someone is obsessed with something that has nothing to do with them, the more I have to assume that it actually *does* have something to do with them. Which is why the more someone rails about the evil dirty homos and that dirty, terrible sex they're always having, the more I assume that they are totally closeted and get titillated by raving about it. And the number of these anti-homo ravers that have been caught in a homosexual situation only buttresses my belief there.

    And this concept applies to everything. People who are WAY too obsessed with rape epidemics, or sex trafficking, or pedophilia, or whatever, all set off my alarms. They care way too much. There's something else going on there.

  • bvandyke||

    So what does it mean if you don't give a shit about anything?

    As they say, doctor's say that two drinks a night help with not giving a shit about anything.

  • ||

    I for one am relieved that when we lose our beloved Pat Robertson, which will be soon, we will have a replacement to entertain us with such lunacy.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    hat the movie Frozen turns little girls into lesbians

    There are going to be sooooooooooo many lesbians.

  • ||

    No shit. I was just laughing about that. I am amazed at how many little girls eat that shit up.

    My wife is a soap making fanatic. She just made a batch of 'Frozen' themed soap (swirled white and two blues matching the theme) for a set of three young sisters that are obsessed with the movie. She put some kind of fruity smell in it. The girls, 4-8 yo, went nuts over it. The parents, friends of the family, love it too because bath time is less of a battle now.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    No shit. I was just laughing about that. I am amazed at how many little girls eat that shit up.

    Little girls? Hell, I have twenty-something female college friends and acquaintances that went apeshit over it. One girl I know saw it like twice in a weekend and then again for the sing-along version they released a few months later.

    I really pity her boyfriend or anyone who is stuck with a Disney freak.

  • ||

    Yeaaaaah....that is a little creepy. Not surprising though considering the maturity level I am seeing these days in that age group.

  • ||

    So SB....which of the Frozen soaps your wife created do you use in the bath tub?

  • Copernicus would chip||

    I don't get it about Frozen. I recently watched it for the first time on DVD.

    Nothing wrong with it I guess, but pretty lame for the most part. Certainly in the lower 25% of animated movies.

    And the music was lame. The lyrics were just standard dialogue and then someone sang them. No rhyming and no matching of music to lyrical cadence.

  • Copernicus would chip||

    "My wife is a soap making fanatic."

    Something I learned recently at Reason:

    1. Don't make the soap into large bricks.
    2. Don't wrap them in plastic and seal with red tape.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Clock kid family wants $15M

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015.....tcmp=hpbt3

  • ||

    "We won? We fucken won! We fooled them? Suckers! Wait. Is this thing on?"

  • DEG||

    I think we need a booze thread. I'm drinking this. It's pretty good.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    92 and 11.5. Not bad.

  • Rhywun||

    New Amersterdam vodka - inspired by the vodka taste test from the other day. Oh and it was on sale. Not bad.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Did you run it through the Brita filter?

  • Rhywun||

    Pfff - no. I don't think it needs it.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    It's official: via instapundit, Obama is worse than Carter.

    Obamacare calorie rules brewing trouble for craft beer makers

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Brewers are facing the prospect of spending potentially thousands to determine calorie counts for every variety of beer produced
  • ||

    This has been known for a long time. Obumbles made Jimmy Carter not the worst president ever. What scares me is that The Hildebeast wants to do that same favor for Obumbles.

  • Cytotoxic||

    That would be difficult because she won't have a Dem congress like O did.

  • ||

    File 'Unintended consequences' or 'The Unseen.'

  • Quincy.||

    He is the lite bringer, after all.

  • ||

    OT: Finnish newspaper puzzles over why rape rates have shot up in Finland after letting in hordes of refugees.

    "1,010 rapes were reported to the police in 2014, according to the Official Statistics of Finland.

    The number of suspected immigrants in these cases is about three times higher than of the suspected natives in relation to the population.

    There is no unambiguous answer to why this is the case and is yet to be researched."

    Then two paragraphs later they state "But the truth is that about 80 per cent of the rape suspects are still native Finns.". I am guessing what they aren't saying is that those are largely the children of immigrants and thus 'native Finns'.

    And no, I checked, it wasn't authored by anyone at Reason.

    http://finlandtoday.fi/how-the.....n-finland/

  • AlmightyJB||

    Another immigration article. By an Iraqi immigrant. Seems to be talking out both sides of her mouth but interesting take. My take away. We should stay out or everybody elses shit. Which was my opinion before but just reinforces it.

    http://thefederalist.com/2015/.....own-lands/

  • Cytotoxic||

    "The refugee crisis exists because America has indulged foolish foreign policies."

    America never forced Assad to start a civil war.

  • GILMORE™||

    "America never forced Assad to start a civil war."

    ...

    ... skipping past the inscrutability of what this sentence is actually supposed to mean...

    ...What exactly *is* the US's casus belli for intervening in someone else's Civil War, again?

    You make it sound as though the US was 'forced to act' by some compelling interest. Not sure what precisely that was supposed to be.

    Under most normal circumstances, when any foreign power starts flying warplanes over your territory and dropping bombs... its considered a de-facto act of war. (of course unless there's a pre-existing mutual defense treaty and the foreign power is called upon - like, say Russia - in defense of the currently-recognized regime).

    Is the idea that there's no pretext required at all to inject oneself in any ongoing conflict around the world?

  • Cytotoxic||

    Did Finland change its rape definition like Sweden did (which is probably responsible for their fake 'rape epidemic')?

    Also, what is the age of the refugees compared to Finland's population? If there are lots of young people and few old then they will be more rapey just by dint of demographics.

  • MSimon||

    Don't trust any refugees under 30.

  • PapayaSF||

    A few unmentioned points: Up until the last century, parents tended to have lots of kids, because they often lost a few to diseases before they grew up. When they have just one or two children, there's more of a tendency toward helicoptering.

    Plus, we now have a great many people raised by single mothers, who tend to be much more indulgent. Their love is not split between a husband and children, and focuses entirely on the children. Plus, there's no Dad around for the Bad Cop half of the traditional roles. ("Wait until your father gets home!")

  • MJGreen - Docile Citizen||

    Yes, I'm sure all these whiny college kids come from single-parent homes.

  • PapayaSF||

    Not what I am saying. I just think the increases in both are linked, to some degree.

  • SIV||

    Heather has two Mommies.

  • ||

    Up until the last century, parents tended to have lots of kids, because they often lost a few to diseases before they grew up. When they have just one or two children, there's more of a tendency toward helicoptering.

    Not to mention that intrinsically, both as a sibling and as a parent, knowing you had a few siblings/cousins/aunts/uncles/etc. that "didn't make it" tended to put things in proper perspective.

    But, I think these are, at best, contributing factors to a general cultural shift. Single parents, more wealth, and keeping up with the Joneses has made us all generally more childlike or 'helicopter oriented'. At Toys 'R Us Christmas shopping; Fisher Price has/had a 'classic' toy section. I could remember when my family got the record player and the TV secondhand from relatives. We used to play with them all the time because cartoons were on Saturday mornings only and, if the weather was bad, we couldn't play outside. Nowadays, I wouldn't pay $40 for anything like that because I can get a tablet for the same price and the kids can stream cartoons 24/7 from any one of several networks devoted to providing cartoons 24/7. Even now, tablets are becoming kind of a lame 'toy' to get your children.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    My Activa RM (meat glue) shipment arrives tomorrow. Things are going to get weird for Thanksgiving.

  • SIV||

    “neither fish nor flesh nor fowl"

    "Shut up and eat your chimera or you're not getting any dessert"

  • Notorious UGCC||

    Haidt: "In higher education, we have a lot of race and gender diversity and we have essentially no political diversity. In social psychology we have virtually no one, there is only one conservative in the whole field that I know of."

    ...and if he gets behind in his blackmail payments I'll tell you his name.

    kidding!

  • MSimon||

    Aggression needs better calibration language.

    Microaggression. Nanoaggression. Picoaggression. And of course Femtoaggression.

    Where it gets really bad is Terraaggression. Or Petaaggression. And we have the milder Kiloaggression and Megaaggression.

    Size matters.

  • Quincy.||

    Hectoagressions are especially relevant for beery reasons.

  • Rich||

    An attoaggression should get an attoboy, not an aw-shit.

  • Quincy.||

  • __Warren__||

    Where do I sign up to get one of these free, range-kids?

  • Francisco d'Anconia||

    I think Sears.

  • Sevo||

    Kmart - blue light special.

  • PapayaSF||

    Why sign up? Just grab one. After all, they're alone!

    (Note to the NSA: Just kidding!)

  • Jima||

    Sign them up for football, or Judo lessons, or boxing, something with clear winners and losers. They'll learn to cope. And they won't get their asses kicked by demonstrators either.

  • Mike Laursen||

    We just started letting my eigh-year-old son walk to his friend's house after school. Well, not so much let him as realized we needed him to do it because of a scheduling difficulty. Even though I knew it is safe and I had much more freedom as a kid, I still had visions of his face on a milk carton the night before he did it the first time.

    We found out he has been running the whole way. When I asked him why, he said, "So, I won't get caught." "By kidnappers?" "No, the police." He thought we were asking him to break the law.

  • american socialist||

    "college kids who can't handle disturbing books or controversial speakers."

    I guess I have the same reaction to a right-winger who employs the phrases "free range kids" and "microaggressions" as I do to a lefty who looks around at a slum-cum-nice-neighborhood and employs phrases like "gentrification" and "yuppies". I hang around a lot of progressive, nice people types with kids and not one of them tells me that they want to raise an unpleasant fascist who will guard the local library making sure that mike huckabee's awful tome is properly delivered to the Waste Management Group.

    I'm left wondering if this is really a problem or is yet another vehicle to stoke the perennial victimhood of the beleaguered White heterosexual Male. Why does some jackass in a Black Lives Matter group give you such problems? Maybe you should just ignore them?

  • Old.Mexican||

    Re: American Stultified,

    not one of them tells me that they want to raise an unpleasant fascist [...]


    Occam's Razor would suggest that they're simply unwilling to tell you many things.

    I'm left wondering if this is really a problem or is yet another vehicle to stoke the perennial victimhood of the beleaguered White heterosexual Male.


    These White Heterosexual Males should just check their privilege and take it like men. Right?
    The rest can act like spoiled rotten pussies because "victim." A.S. Dixit.

  • pan fried wylie||

    I homeschooled a dozen or so kids to one degree or another, four of them for six years. Every one of the long termers is a success story. Every. Damned. One.

    Neonatal nurse.
    Business owner
    Business owner
    Pharmacist
    Store manager
    Apple tech

    Suthenboy is singlehandedly saving our economy.

  • Azathoth!!||

    When I read things like this I am made so glad that I raised my larvae to see the human race as what it actually is.

    Prey.

  • GroundTruth||

    Regarding the dangers of Free-Range parenting, this just came in:

    http://www.capecodtimes.com/ar...../151129689

    "Arrest warrants issued in Truro child endangerment case Arrest warrants were issued Monday in Orleans District Court for two New York residents who are facing charges of child endangerment after allegedly leaving two children alone for an hour in August at Head of the Meadow Beach in North Truro. "

    For the "crime" of allowing their 9 and 7 year old sons to walk back from the beach to the camp ground.

    This is like some sort of bad joke that just goes on and on.

  • nicmart||

    While I agree with the spirit of the Haidt piece, I don't agree with his medicalization of the disgustingly illiberal attitudes and behaviors of students. I'm reminded of a Thomas Szasz quote:

    "Permissiveness is the principle of treating children as if they were adults; and the tactic of making sure they never reached that stage."

    Just part of the problem is that childhood is not "free-range." The other part is that young people are not taught to behave self-reliantly and respectfully. They are vulgar brats from a young age; bubbling over with entitlement. I suspect this has something to do with the increase of single-child families in which the tyke is overprotected and spoiled. China has experienced the same phenomenon during the era of the "one child policy."

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