New Bill to Legalize Gun-Shaped Pastry in Maryland Schools
In response to the hysteria over a recent incident at a local school where a 7-year-old bit his strawberry breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun and got suspended for his trouble, Maryland state Sen. J.B. Jennings has introduced a bill:
prohibiting a principal from suspending or expelling a student who brings to school or possesses on school property a picture of a gun, a computer image of a gun, a facsimile of a gun, or any other object that resembles a gun but serves another purpose;
The bill, which is called the Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013, also prohibits
a principal from suspending or expelling a student who makes a hand shape or gesture resembling a gun.
Of course, no self-respecting legislator can let a golden opportunity for micromanagement like this one pass him by. So in addition to quite reasonably noting that school administrators should try to un-bunch their panties when it comes to gun-shaped objects, the bill also specifies maximum penalties for quasi-gun threats (by grade level!) and punishments for administrators who violate the rules.
Which I'm sure won't cause any unintended negative consequences down the line.
No word on whether the school will offer conseling to kids "troubled" by the legislative process.
(Check out Jacob Sullum's related post—and inferior photoshopped gun pastry—here.)
Via Free-Range Kids.