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Free Minds & Free Markets

A Consumer Report on Donald Trump

How's he rate?

Overall Score: 35 (out of 100)

Reliability: 21

Safety: 19

Acceleration: 93

Emergency Handling: 12

Braking: 50

Noise level: Off the charts

Specifications:

Height: 71 inches

Weight: 239 pounds

Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm

Pros: A totally unique experience

Cons: Noise, handling, reliability

Consumers have always been deeply divided about the Trump: They either love it or they hate it. And it's not hard to understand why: In a market saturated with so many models that look, sound, and drive alike, the Trump sticks out like a Volkswagen Thing on a lot full of Kia Sedonas.

Appearance

From the outside, the 2018 Trump lacks appeal: It comes in standard blue and red, with orange highlights and short fingers. The necktie is oddly long, the rear seat broad and spongy — yet the blond headliner comes across as over-designed. For the amount of money that went into it, the lack of refinement and grace notes is a surprise. Despite all that, the Trump has enough rough charisma to whip one crowd we saw recently into a fever.

Driving and Handling

On the highway, the Trump's performance is much the same as it is around town: loud, clumsy, and frequently disconcerting. Handling is extremely awkward; the Trump is prone to swerve suddenly to the left or right, and at times even our professional drivers were unable to control it. This certainly makes the Trump brand exciting — something many people are drawn to — but it can become tiresome quickly.

Photo Credit: Darren Birgenheier/flickr

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    It's better than that foreign import it replaced, and the lemon sitting beside it on the lot. AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?

  • Hugh Akston||

    Every time I ask about the Trump's performance or handling, Trump buyers just tell me how much worse the other models are.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    You should hear what they say about Hillary.

    To be fair, the only people asked are not Trump supporters or people able to differentiate between things a president does well and being a Democrat fo life.

  • buybuydandavis||

    "Every time I ask about inequality under Capitalism, Reason commenters just tell me how much worse the alternatives are."

    "Compared to what?" is a perfectly justified response to a complaint about Trump. If you're going to complain about something, tell us which *actual* alternative was better.

    Hillary was the *actual* alternative.

  • Red Tony||

    Don't listen to this liar. The Trump is beautiful, wonderful, fantastic! Best vehicle ever. You're gonna love it, trust me. The lying media will try and tell you it's a failure–lemme tell ya, the Trump's the new big thing. You're gonna want to get in on the ground floor of this. Would I lie to you? Don't answer that. Just buy the Trump. You'll love it. It's a way of life.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Among lefties.

  • Red Tony||

    *applauds*

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Among clappers.

  • Leo Kovalensky II||

    I've never seen a car with a trolling motor attached. Unique.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Only one trolling motor?

  • This Machine Chips Fascists||

    But it's the most powerful, and yet, and this true, the most, the most, energy efficient, and I mean efficient, the world has ever ever ever seen. Trust me. You will.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Hm. I will have to wait and see how it does in action.

    I wonder if some people will say things about it that are fabrications?

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    That's a pretty good resting heart rate.

  • This Machine Chips Fascists||

    But it skyrockets when watching Fox and Friends.

  • Cynical Asshole||

    Really? Mine's about half that.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    I would like to a see a consumer report on the Hillarywagon to comparison shop.

  • SIV||

    Trump sticks out like a Volkswagen Thing on a lot full of Kia Sedonas.

    The whole "Trump is a NAZI !" thing is really getting old, cucks.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    The people's car with some people's weed.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    As someone who drives a Kia Optima, I do not appreciate the comparison of Kia's fine line of cars to politicians.

  • Hugh Akston||

    SIV drives a VW Vanagon with a bed and a couple of wire cages in the back.

  • This Machine Chips Fascists||

    Reasonable Lampoon

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Supplying reasonable chuckles since '71

  • Azathoth!!||

    It's like you just can't resist even the most completely asinine TDS pieces that come around.

    The ones that do nothing but sully whatever shreds of good reputation you have left.

    Sad.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Reason in 2018.

  • NoVaNick||

    If only the Trump were half as cool as a VW Thing:

    Trump=AMC Pacer
    Hillary=Ford Pinto

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