You, Sir, Are No Zell Miller

I yield to no one in my white-hot burning hatred for all things Zell Miller, but after watching opening night turncoat Jim Leach's nose-picker of a speech, a question is begged: Are there no other pissed-off Republicans in the U.S. and A.? Seems to me you can't sneeze in Washington without knocking one over. Mickey Edwards was busy? Chuck Hagel getting an eyelift?

The Democratic Party has just blown almost one-quarter of its convention on some of the most tepid personal-trivia testimonials and no-really-they-watched-Brady-Bunch crapola I have heard since my last Amway convention. Only with much less spirit. Wait, your mother loved you? IZ VOAT DIMOKRAT! 

The Republicans kicked the stuffing out of the Dems in the last year's convention season, in part due to an uproarious and combative opening night. Can Democrats even hit a ball off a tee without irritating the hell out of everybody?