You Do Not Need To Store Your Kids' DNA in Case of Emergencies
Fearmongering about mass school shootings leads to some dumb, privacy-threatening ideas.

The Today show this week offers an alarming headline about how Texas is handling school shootings: "Texas schools send parents DNA kits to identify their kids' bodies in emergencies."
The headline is true, but the story's framing is misleading. More importantly, parents who get DNA kits from their schools should simply dump them in the trash and go about their day. The tests are unnecessary, and hanging onto your child's DNA data compromises his or her privacy for little gain.
In 2021, Texas lawmakers passed a bill, S.B. 2158, mandating that all schools (including open-enrollment charter schools) send home fingerprint or DNA kits "on request" to parents of parents or legal guardians of children up through middle school. Parents may then use the kits and submit the identifying information to law enforcement officials if their child is kidnapped or trafficked. Participation is completely voluntary, and parents are supposed to keep the DNA samples at home in case something happens to their children.
The bill was not introduced as a measure to identify the bodies of children killed by school shooters, as Today frames it. The bill was introduced by Texas State Sen. Donna Campbell (R–New Braunfels) as part of a national collaborative effort for the National Child Identification Program to fingerprint America's kids to help investigate kidnapping. We can argue the merits of whether we should be fearmongering parents into getting their kids fingerprinted over kidnapping panics. Still, to be clear, the bill was not introduced or passed for anything to do with school shooters.
Much of this is lost in Today's story, which instead leans heavily on fear and panic and casts the law as Texas' response to school shootings, instead of implementing harsher gun control measures. The story notes that the bill was passed after a deadly school shooting in Santa Fe High School in Santa Fe, Texas, and before the Robb Elementary School Shooting in Uvalde, Texas, which suggests that the Santa Fe shooting inspired the bill.
Today's piece is fundamentally about people being mad that Texas isn't doing more about guns. It has this juicy, just-too-perfect, totally-spontaneous-I'm-sure quote from Tracy Walder, a former CIA and FBI agent and current college professor, who says her second-grade daughter would be sent home with a kit (even though the law says schools are supposed to provide them on request, not unprompted): "You have to understand, I'm a former law enforcement officer. I worry every single day when I send my kid to school. Now we're giving parents DNA kits so that when their child is killed with the same weapon of war I had when I was in Afghanistan, parents can use them to identify them?"
Well, as a former law enforcement officer, Walder should know full well that the reason so many children died at Robb Elementary School had nothing to do with the type of gun the shooter had but because the police sat on their thumbs and did nothing while the violence played out.
Today, which is usually good at inspiring fear, weirdly glosses over the privacy issues at play here. The story notes that "some parents feel uncomfortable sending their DNA to anyone for privacy reasons." Good, because parents shouldn't do that and don't need to. The story notes that when officials struggled to identify some of the victims of the Robb Elementary shooting, they could do so by comparing DNA samples of the bodies to those of family members. There is no need to permanently keep DNA samples on hand to share with authorities.
And what exactly happens to these DNA samples isn't entirely clear, even under Texas statute. Under Texas law, fingerprint cards and photographs made and kept under these statutes "may not be used as evidence in any criminal proceeding in which the child is a defendant." Another part of the code specifies that fingerprints may only be used to identify or locate a missing child. But the statutes do not have similar restrictions on the use of DNA samples.
We've already seen police misuse DNA data collected for other purposes in San Francisco, where investigators used DNA collected from rape victims to prosecute completely unrelated crimes.
Don't let blatant fearmongering push you into doing something reckless, like handing your child's DNA information to authorities. It's not necessary, and it compromises your family's privacy for very little gain.
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Oh hey, looks like converted wokester Ethan Klein just got suspended from Youtube. Herpetologist's handshake stings, doesn't it?
My favorite part is the confusion over which clip triggered the ban, the video where he 'jokes' about Ben Shapiro getting gassed or the one, not about Shapiro, where his own co-host says, 'Dude, you can't tell your followers to harass somebody like that.' and he effectively says, 'Whaddya mean I can't say that?' and then proceeds with the goat fucking.
Now we're giving parents DNA kits so that when their child is killed with the same weapon of war I had when I was in Afghanistan, parents can use them to identify them?"
For fuck's sake. No red herrings in that statement.
Contrary to what Hihn Friday says about exploding deer, bullets do not render kids unidentifiable.
And where's that idiot been?
For fuck’s sake. No red herrings in that statement.
At this point, I’m only slightly surprised that the narrative didn’t expand to the point that bullets render corpses unidentifiable down to the DNA.
Edit: But I'm sure Reason will be along any minute to tell us how because DNA identification is mistaken between 1:100 and 1:10M times, it shouldn't be allowed as evidence.
Well, in all fairness, DNA can't even tell if the sample is from a man or a woman.
I knew bullets rendering corpses unidentifiable down to the DNA felt right, I just couldn't untangle my brain from morals and objective logic enough to get there.
no, the DNA can reveal that very accurately. Its the ones READING the results that are so fonfused THEY can't tell. Just like some of these modren skewl admunestraitors don't even know what a woman is shen she is standing in front of them.
“Well, in all fairness, DNA can’t even tell if the sample is from a man or a woman.”
It’s not a biologist!
If they know it was his weapon, shouldn't the cops be checking him out first?
Does she just mean guns? What weapon of war? Does the military use AR-15s of some sort?
I think he died last year.
I remember getting fingerprints made when I was little, back in the 70's. I don't think this is a new idea.
Did fingerprinting in the 70's solve any missing children cases?
Just file the insurance claim and let the company figure it out.
No but it gave the government a great data base to spy on adults later on.
Oh, yeah.
Don't believe a thing on the Today show.
Cloning yourself for spare parts, however, is just plain common sense.
What good is a DNA sample going to do when a .223 bullet renders you into a fine pink mist that gets mixed into the slush that is everybody else being rendered into a fine pink mist? It's like trying to identify a single unique kale leaf from a kale smoothie.
Dude, that was GROSS!!!! ? (The kale smoothie bit, I mean!)
I'd send them my dog's DNA and if they ever notice, tell them the kid identifies that way.
Well considering Joe Biden just might start WWIII with nukes it might be a good idea to have your kids DNA but i wouldn't give it to the government. Maybe some private entity could store it that is until the government demands it like they do with other "private" information that companies keep
Somewhere right now in Texas there is a white, woke millennial mommy swabbing Jr's mouth.
I don't think anybody said you needed to.
And the law in question has you keeping the sample at home until needed.
So, this whole article seems a bit misconceived.
If someone really needed a DNA sample from anyone, their DNA would be all over their possessions, toothbrushes, etc, pretty much anything they touched that hadn't been cleaned. And DNA from their parents or siblings would pretty much nail down the identity of anyone.
When I have a few minutes to waste, I might contemplate the mischief someone could do with an unsecured DNA sample.
Abbey and Gibbs need that data for their database so when someone fines a partial crusty booger on the carpet of the vic’s car they can get a match in seconds.
Hopefully, the mass shooters will use 9MM rather than .223 and only blow your kid's lungs out, rather than completely blowing their heads off with that bullet 5 times faster than any other.
I'm a former law enforcement officer. I worry every single day when I send my kid to school.
What a maroon!!! There is a stupidsimple fix to the whole situation: STOP sending your chile to da publick skewl. Problem solved.
He will turn out a whole lot smarter, into the bargain.
Evidence suggests that prolonged exposure to this woman will not make the child smarter.
Cutting the genitals off of a clump of DNA samples is a social construct, like any other business decision. Don't want it to happen? Keep your DNA samples out of the public schools.
Complete idiots. If you are stupid enough to believe this nonsense, you will not make it.
If Americans knew how to navigate to information in the 'Information Age,' they would know that school shootings are rare! In a country of 350 million people, we rarely have people shooting up schools. When we have one, or even two, in a year, it's rare! One of our states is the size of the vast majority of countries! If we didn't have 24hr news, this wouldn't be an issue. Now, don't get me wrong, it's horrible even when one happens. But we tolerate hundreds of murders in the major cities each year and there is no outrage! Kids are being shot and there is no outrage! Babies are being killed in the womb and there is no outrage! So please stop with the morality already. Americans have become callused to the living and the unborn. We will not continue to prosper as a nation if we stop valuing life. Way to be 'progressive' democrats!
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