Once Again, the Firework Cops Failed To Stop People From Celebrating Freedom With a Boom
Firework seizures and buyback programs won't stop millions of Americans from setting off black-market bottle rockets tonight.

Smugglers helped build America. It's fitting that they're crucial to the celebration of her special day.
In the run-up to the Fourth of July holiday, headlines were filled with the typical stories of police and politicians' desperate efforts to control the flow of illegal fireworks into prohibitive jurisdictions. But odds are that, regardless of state law or county ordinance, your fellow citizens will be honoring freedom with a few resounding booms tonight.
Massachusetts is both the cradle of our revolution and the last place consumer fireworks are still illegal across the board. This past week, state troopers there seized some 1,500 individual rockets and roman candles being shipped into the state from neighboring New Hampshire.
The loot was valued at some $30,000 according to local news reports. But the deterrent effect of the seizures seems limited.
When Reason called around to a few fireworks shops on the other side of the New Hampshire border (including one literally called Fireworks Over the Border located a few feet from the state line), everyone said they were too busy handling customers to talk to the press.
Rampant fireworks smuggling is not just common. Often it was de facto encouraged by states' consumer fireworks laws.
In Ohio, you could purchase consumer fireworks but only after signing a form promising you'd take them out of state within 48 hours. In neighboring Pennsylvania, only customers with out-of-state driver's licenses could purchase fireworks that actually shoot up into the air.
The two states eliminated those restrictions over the past few years—part of a nationwide trend of liberalized fireworks.
Where consumer fireworks are still prohibited, however, smuggling abounds. Law enforcement is getting increasingly creative, if not increasingly effective, at cracking down on this black market.
Los Angeles County hosted a firework buyback event this past Saturday in an effort to get people to turn in their verboten cherry bombs and M80s. In exchange, people could receive gift cards for gas and groceries, reported LAist.
Last year's buyback netted about 500 pounds of fireworks. Neither that buyback nor L.A. police's botched detonation of a 32,000-pound illegal stash discovered in a backyard did much to whet the fuses of L.A.'s amateur pyrotechnicians.
Local media was awash with illegal fireworks lighting up the Independence Day sky. We can expect similar scenes tonight.
Oftentimes, it seems like state officials are in on the joke of illegal firework use. In Florida, fireworks are legal but only for pest control purposes. "With all the stand-alone fireworks-only superstores in the state of Florida, there shouldn't be a critter left alive," Julie Heckman of the American Pyrotechnics Association told Reason in 2018.
America was created by people who played it fast and loose with the laws on the books until they eventually decided to try and make something better. Tonight, people will honor that rebellious spirit by blowing up a small part of what the Founders built. God Bless.
Rent Free is a weekly newsletter from Christian Britschgi on urbanism and the fight for less regulation, more housing, more property rights, and more freedom in America's cities.
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Shitheads in my neighborhood are setting off fireworks in the middle of the night in the days leading up to the 4th. Annoying and waking up people.
Thank you Reason dot com for defending this precious right. I hope the retards who get enjoyment out of bottle rockets past the age of 12 choke on a lit m80
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Not as fun as you mom.
Sympathetic thoughts occurred when Reason was defending the enumerated right of a moron to blare political exhortations through megaphones mounted on a "sound van." That van would be a good place to exercise the right to test noisy fireworks.
They are glorious, celebratory sounds of freedom, even if the booms scare the fuck out of my dog.
Move to Massachusetts. Before something bad happens.
You probably go to bed at 9:00.
You want to know the secret to getting that to stop?
Walk your ass over to your neighbor's house and tell them that they are waking you up and that you would like them to stop in controlled and polite way.
It works 99% of the time in my experience.
I'll leave this here too. Maybe I'll remember it every year.
A poem by Howard Nemerov
Because I am drunk, this Independence Night,
I watch the fireworks from far away,
from a high hill, across the moony green
Of lakes and other hills to the town harbor,
Where stately illuminations are flung aloft,
One light shattering in a hundred lights
Minute by minute. The reason I am crying,
Aside from only being country drunk,
That is, may be that I have just remembered
The sparklers, rockets, roman candles and
so on, we used to be allowed to buy
When I was a boy, and set off by ourselves
At some peril to life and property.
Our freedom to abuse our freedom thus
Has since, I understand, been remedied
By legislation. Now the authorities
Arrange a perfectly safe public display
To be watched at a distance; and now also
The contribution of all the taxpayers
Together makes a more spectacular
Result than any could achieve alone
(A few pale pinwheels, or a firecracker
Fused at the dog's tail). It is, indeed, splendid:
Showers of roses in the sky, fountains
Of emeralds, and those profusely scattered zircons
Falling and falling, flowering as they fall
And followed distantly by a noise of thunder.
My eyes are half-afloat in happy tears.
God bless our Nation on a night like this,
And bless the careful and secure officials
Who celebrate our independence now.
Nothing spells freedom like getting so wasted you put a fireworks mortar on your head and blow it off.
Man Shoots Firework From Top of His Head, Dies
CALAIS, Maine — A young man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, fatally injuring himself, authorities said Sunday.
Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend's home in the small eastern Maine city of Calais, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety. Staples, 22, of Calais, placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off, he said.
The firework exploded, killing Staples instantly, McCausland said.
Drinking should be illegal.
If it saves one life….
Henry Virkula's wife and kids survived the dry killers' enforcement fusillade in 1929. "Three outta four ain't bad," the court ruled.
Actually, recent science reveals that birth leads to a 100% death rate. In order to prevent death, superior people should demand that all births be illegal. Wait a minute...
That was "evolution" coming up in a backyard spelling bee. Pop Quiz: did young Devon attend a private or government school?
On the face of it, this seems horrible, but in reality it is just natural selection running it's course.
As with many other things, once you get deeply enough into DIY, commercial product isn't fun any more.
But it might stop kids from getting killed:
https://www.14news.com/2022/07/04/child-killed-mt-vernon-fireworks-incident/
It it saves just one life. It's for the children.
You know what kills the most kids in the U.S.?
Motor vehicle accidents followed by firearms accidents. Perhaps we should use the state as a cudgel to enforce a law that no children should be allowed to ride in cars. Perhaps the state would like to keep more kids safe by removing firearms from the houses of everyone who has a child.
Children die. Adults die. It's a sad fact of life. But, what is the point of living in a gilded cage? I would rather have the memories of firing bottle rockets and watching them burst in wonder than being carefully folded against some boring adult's bosom as a child.
The last few years, fentanyl overdoses is way up there in the cause of death also. It has to do with where one picks the parameters for the age group.
Most of the southwest is in the middle of a severe drought. It isn't the best idea in the world to set fiery blasts off around dry vegetation. Please, this year, use drones or something that isn't a source of ignition as a courtesy to everyone in the path of the wildfire your Roman candles might set off.
Ok, Karen.
She isn't wrong: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/couple-charged-deadly-california-wildfire-sparked-during-gender-reveal-n1274575
I mean, when I was growing up we were smart enough to keep our illegal fireworks away from the tinder, but it seems not everyone is anymore. I do miss the days when my town wasn't yet taken over by tourists and on the 4th the beach was like a war zone, though.
Guaranteed-immunity asset-forfeiture gunmen pretty effectively stopped one individual in Akron from celebrating the starry banner iv freedom. People all over the planet are watching that unarmed black gentleman dying of a throwdown fentanyl overdose just before dozens of lard-girdled donut-munchers fired 60 warning shots into his back.
Idiot. Him and you.
*He
"Firework seizures and buyback programs won't stop millions of Americans from setting off black-market bottle rockets tonight."
Tonight???
And Friday night and last night and tomorrow night...
They might stop sometime between Wednesday and Friday.
Although, I have noticed that they seem to be stopping earlier in the evening this year. In years past they would go until sometime between midnight and 2AM. This year it's been stopping around 10PM.
I guess the supply chain issue even affect black market fireworks. A silver lining. 🙂
Causing people to lose sleep for nearly a week, and starting fires.
No, there shouldn't be a national ban on fireworks. But cities and states have legitimate reasons to ban fireworks.
I can guarantee you: in a libertarian world, most HOAs, road associations, private municipalities, etc. would ban fireworks.
Have you ever been to Texas?
ps. How about a libertarian approach? If you start a fire, you pay for damages.
Or my former HOA’s approach in a ponderosa pine forest: don’t be a fucking retard by lighting off fireworks here.
Certainly, if you can actually demonstrate that you have the liability insurance and/or personal wealth to cover the kinds of damages that fireworks can cause.
How is that a libertarian approach? I'd rather you not infringe upon my property by burning it, than burn it and then "compensate" me for it.
How about I give you $5000 you don't want, then then torch your car against your will? Is that "libertarian"?
Hint: it's not.
Oftentimes, it seems like state officials are in on the joke of illegal firework use.
Maybe in Florida they are, if the official story is that fireworks are for "pest control". In New York, I don't think so. But I did think so back when I was in second grade, and had recently learned about the American Revolution. I really did think that the cops who went about seizing fireworks were just playing the role of the British "bad guys", and were quietly hoped that people would outsmart them and get to set off their fireworks on the evening of the 4th, demonstrating how they had preserved their freedom. If only.
They even make 12 gauge rounds called "bird bombs" that you can fire into flocks of birds that have decended on your crops. they do work, but who wants to stand guard over a field all day?
One of my favorite things about when I lived in Texas was buying fireworks every June from the biggest stand in the county, run by the Sheriff's department.
Sounds like socialism.
For a few years now fireworks have been legal in Florida. Only on Christmas new years and July 4th.
Or for scaring varmints away from crops. (wink)
"state troopers there seized some 1,500 individual rockets and roman candles being shipped into the state from neighboring New Hampshire. The loot was valued at some $30,000 according to local news reports."
$20 per Roman candle?
Fuck that.