Brickbat: She's Just Giving Them a Hand

The British Royal Navy has kicked out a sailor who pleaded guilty to three counts of sexual assault against other sailors and Royal Marines, one count of battery and one count of violence against a superior officer during a drunken spree while she was on a cold weather exercise. Able Seaman Jodie McSkimmings reportedly tried to kiss colleagues and demanded sex, and when they refused she groped them and tried to undress them. She also sat in the lap of a sergeant and punched him "at 100 percent force" when he refused her advances, according to prosecutors. She then punched a corporal in the face. Her attorney blamed her behavior on mental health issues which were exacerbated by "misogynistic bullying" by colleagues.
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Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
She’s an Able Seaman? There’s a joke in their somewhere. Maybe it’s that she’s able and very willing to collect more semen?
But what’s with “sergeant” and “corporal” as naval ranks? I guess that’s a British thing. And her lawyer arguing that her actions were the result of enduring misogynistic bullying! That opens up a whole can of worms! Hey, maybe Harvey Weinstein was just being mercilessly picked on, so he had to coerce those bullies into having sex with him. Sounds legit.
I'm guessing you missed the part about her assaults being "against other sailors and Royal Marines". There are definitely sergeants and corporals in the Marines.
Now that I've RTFA, I can see why they knocked her back; she's a bit of a scrag. The line under her picture also says a lot: "McSkimmings, 31, drank at least six cans of beer and a bottle of win before molesting her fellow sailors." Nominative determinism at its finest; McSkimmings indeed.
Unfortunately, that bottle of win didn't stop her from being a loser.
Without this detail I was wondering if perhaps she was suffering from hypothermia, which can have very odd cognitive effects. But nope, sounds like she was just a bad drunk.
Is there such a thing as a "good drunk"?
She jumped the gun. It probably would have worked after a month or so at sea.
#blamethevictim
What's long and hard and full a seamen? A submarine!
Something about seamen all over Boaty McBoatface.
Today I learned that Able Seaman is not just a fertility test result.
This actually *is* the proverbial local story. Why does Reason cover it at the expense of...those other stories they're always being reproached for not covering?
Because this isn't coverage. This is the brickbats. Nobody reads these.
Plus... It is hard to find stories of government abuse and pettiness. (As is evidenced by this story about a drunken marine getting out of line)
"This is the brickbats. Nobody reads these."
Then why are you here commenting?
He didn't read the article, he read the comment he replied to.
If he doesn't want to read the article, why is he reading the comments on it?
And the whooshing sound is the joke flying over Matt's head....
The joke didn't fly over my head, it blew up on the launch pad.
Yet you responded to it.
Mission accomplished.
Still upholding the British Navy's tradition of rum, sodomy, and the lash as best a woman can.
That tradition spawned the title of one of the greatest albums ever recorded.
Makes me think of the Miles Copperthwaite sketch with Michael Palin on the old-timey SNL. She must have thought the other sailors just needed "comforting."
Their misogyny caused her misandry?
What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor?
Are you suggesting they shave her balls with a rusty razor?
Once upon a time, that zinger would have been funnier than it was depressing.
-1 Canadian Brazilian Waxing Parlor
"demanded sex"
If a man did this it would be attempted rape.
PICS:
https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/7412004/royal-navy-sailor-jodie-mcskimmings-sexual-assault-axed/
So my question is, why didn't one of those salty marines take a seaman for the team? This could all have been avoided.
So my question is, why didn’t one of those salty marines take a seaman for the team?
5 words: Don't stick it in crazy. If you think this is one of those situations where you wake up to her wearing your dress shirt and making pancakes, you're sorely mistaken. Objectively better to have your balls groped against your will than, figuratively or literally, handed to you.
This. Crazies save the condom or stained linen, to claim you’re in a relationship or to make your life hell.
They wanted to avoid a dishonorable discharge.
"...avoid a dishonorable discharge."
Yeah, ISWYDT.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Yup, we have a winner...
This is why you don't allow Yorkies in the Royal Navy.
Given that Jodie is female, I don’t believe she has any able seamen.
So, let me see if I got this straight.
A pretty girl gets a bit drunk and goes around trying to get fucked.
And the Scottish Marines cry and whine about getting hit and kick the girl out for being so rough.
Is there something I'm missing?
Not only did they all lack the balls to fuck her, they lacked the balls to pick her up and dump her in her bunk.
Pussies.
This is the Ultra-Woke RN and RM, if they did deal with her either they would be charged with rape, she was quite drunk, or with assault for hitting a lady, there really are no winner's here.
I posted the pics above [and while she is certainly no bog monster, it is not the well scrubbed looking lassie in the headline].
No idea what she looks like in civvies.
But she's not a fattie and she's not hideous.
She'd probably clean up real good, for the UK.
To bad there's no men in the RM anymore.
See above. Don’t mess with crazy.
someone nail the chick so she'll shut up
Marines of any stripe or nation used to be up to that task, but as Sansos posted above this is apparently no longer the case.
fun girls are fun. I'm missing the problem.
In the process of syphilization,
From the anthropoid ape down to man,
It is generally held that the Navy,
Has buggered whatever it can,
Yet recent extensive researches,
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall,
Conclusively prove that the hedgehog,
Has never been buggered at all.
We therefore believe our conclusion,
Is incontrovertibly shown,
That comparative safety on shipboard,
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone,
Why haven't they done it a Spithead,
As they've done it at Harvard and Yale,
And also at Oxford and Cambridge,
By shaving the spines off its tail!
So come on all you sailors,
To the occasion rise,
Just grab yourself a hedgehog,
And give it a real surprise,
The following simple instructions,
Will ensure that you do not fail,
Simply ream out its ass with a hose pipe,
And shave the spines off his tail.
MammaryBahnFuhrer, they say,
Has never been buggered at all!
I, for one, can surely see why!
She'd booger-bugger ye all to sky-high!