Brickbat: Little White Lie


The family of Porter Feller says that a lie told by a Seattle police officer led to Feller's suicide, according to a lawsuit they have filed against the city. Feller was involved in what the lawsuit describes as a "minor" car accident. No one reported injuries, and Feller left the scene. Later that day, Officer Matthew Kerby went to Feller's house to get his ID and insurance information. Kerby told a fellow officer he "planned on using a ruse." He was caught on video and audio saying, "It's a lie, but it's fun." Feller wasn't at the house when Kerby arrived, so Kerby told one of Feller's friends that he had been involved in a hit-and-run accident and critically injured a woman who "might not survive," the lawsuit said. According to the lawsuit, when informed of Kerby's remark, Feller became increasingly distraught. He committed suicide four days later. The Seattle Office of Police Accountability found that Kerby's lie was "abuse of his discretion." It said Kerby's lie "shocked fundamental fairness" and that he acted "without any apparent consideration of the possible consequences." The department suspended him without pay for six days.

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  1. Dog bites man, water’s wet, sun rises in the east, cop lies.

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    2. But he got suspended without pay!I didn’t think that was even legal to do to a cop!

  2. Doesn’t anyone proofread this stuff, Oliver? You mixed up the protagonist and subject in the fifth sentence.

    That’s the real abuse. A writer who can’t write.

    1. I checked the original article. The mixup happened there.

      Oliver is so stupid, he literally copied the sentence (without quotation marks) word-for-word.

      1. What with there being a Feller, a Smeller, a Feller-Smeller, a Smeller-Feller, a Fart Smeller, and a Smart Feller all involved here, it’s SOOOO easy to get them all confused! Can YOU say or write Feller, Smeller, Feller-Smeller, Smeller-Feller, Fart Smeller, and a Smart Feller very quickly, 3 times in a row, and get them all right?

        (OK, I lied, but it was a fun lie! NONE of the characters involved was actually a Smart Feller, in ANY way!)

        1. Hey, CHARLES OLIVER fixed it! All the other fellers were pretty whacked-out and twisted, but at least CHARLES OLIVER un-twisted the words! He’s a smart enough feller to un-twist the words when they’re pointed out to him! He is now NO LONGER Oliver Twisted!

          (So add an Oliver to your Smartini, now!)

    2. Someone stealth-edited this article, correcting that sentence.

      Maybe comments get read after all.

  3. So he didn’t think to check up on the woman in four days?

    1. Even if the woman had existed, there’s no way they would have told him her name and which hospital she was in.

      1. Did he not exchange information with the other driver? He was there at the accident and no one said they were hurt. Why would he believe someone was dying?

        1. Because most people still believe that police tell the truth – despite ample evidence to the contrary.

  4. The Seattle Police Department also issued a statement last year saying Kerby has been disciplined and that his actions were wrong…

    That was a lie, but it was fun.

    1. Tasty.

  5. The horror! Six days off WITHOUT PAY! Outrageous.


  6. Now if the rest of the people in Seattle follow suit, Seattle might become livable again

  7. Six days without pay, I sure bet he learned his lesson!

  8. You ever notice how drivers react like a beat dog whenever there’s a cop car driving through their immediate area? They’ll decelerate below the speed limit and practically veer off the road to make gratuitous space for the cop in the other lane.

    1. You’re projecting

    2. I do not do that. In some areas it seems I’m the only person who doesn’t do that. It’s stupid. Why draw attention to myself when cops are around?

      Of course, in some areas not showing visible fear around a cop it self drawing attention to myself.

  9. Hopefully the jury will break it off in that cop’s ass.

    1. QI for the win. No other cop has been convicted of this exact thing (i assume) so his name is Scott Free

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