Movies

Wonder Woman 1984 Is No Wonder

An aggressively mediocre superhero sequel.

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Critics have described Wonder Woman 1984 as "a film with a heart full of hope and love" and a reminder "that a cinematic superpower can transport us away from the doldrums of reality and save the day," with a heroine who serves as "a moral and muscular counterweight to ego-driven male misdirections."

But as I watched this movie from the comfort of my couch on Christmas evening, searching for those transporting signs of love, hope, and affirming feminist counterweights, I found something far less inspired. Wonder Woman 1984 is a risk aversion strategy in movie form. It is not a particularly good movie, because it was not designed to be a particularly good movie. It was designed to avoid being notably bad.

So it offers a bland rehash of the last Wonder Woman movie in a new setting, with somewhat less effective character bits, somewhat less amusing comic moments, and action scenes that seem to gesture at the original film's high points without quite hitting them. It's an aggressively cautious production that manages not to make any big mistakes, but in the process forecloses on the possibility of doing anything all that well. 

I will not describe the plot of this movie, except to say that it involves an ancient stone that grants wishes, which is fitting for a movie that traffics in ho-hum wish fulfillment. 

The story, such that it is, is mostly a vehicle for loosely connected scenes in which Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) and her alter ego Diana Prince do the sort of things you might want to see Wonder Woman do. Here is Wonder Woman stopping jewel thieves in a brightly colored 1980s mall! Here is Diana Prince hanging out in Washington, D.C., with Steve Trevor (played once again by Chris Pine), her dead boyfriend who has magically returned via a gift from the Convenient Plot Device Fairy! Here is Wonder Woman fighting a supervillain-ized version of herself—Cheetah (Kristen Wiig), in strangely cheap-looking CGI! 

Some of the actors do fine work: Wiig in particular brings a loopy menace to an underwritten role, and Pine continues to demonstrate an endearing willingness to look goofy on screen. Gadot, however, is largely wasted. She has a strong screen presence, but her Wonder Woman is vague and undefined, except as an avatar of generic goodness and virtue, whatever you think that might be. And as Prince, she has all the personality of a supporting character in a teaser trailer. The movie picks up decades after its predecessor with no sense of what happened in between. What has she been doing all these years? What does she want out of life? Out of the world? 

The movie is set largely in Washington, D.C., and there are are interlocking subplots about Ronald Reagan's nuclear ambitions and conflict in the Middle East, but they have been stripped of all real-world specifics. I suppose you could read a Trumpy mania into Pedro Pascal's Maxwell Lord, a scammy real-estate developer who becomes one of the film's two villains, but any connection seems more stylistic than specific; the movie might allude to Donald Trump, but it doesn't say much of anything about him. 

Like so many of today's biggest movies, Wonder Woman 1984 exists in a strangely depoliticized and decontextualized fantasy world, one with governments and wars but no politics or ideology to speak of—a virtual construct designed to summon the sensation of political relevance without any sense of what anyone might believe, or why. 

The story, similarly, isn't really a story. It's an excuse for a series of trailer-ready bits, a collection of loosely ordered scenes that you might have found in a movie you might actually have wanted to see. (And, it turns out, an unexpected number of jokes about fannypacks. See, it was the 1980s, and they're so funny, because you wear them on your…never mind.)

Anyway, maybe Wonder Woman 1984 is a movie you did want to see, if only because 2020 has provided so few opportunities for this sort of megabudget, studio-made franchise entertainment. Until this year, superhero films with foreign-aid-program-sized budgets were a near weekly occurrence, and it's been strange to suddenly go without. There is something intrinsically pleasurable about watching this sort of top-shelf production after going so long without one, even on a small screen at home. 

But there is also something disappointing in the fact that this one is so aggressively mediocre, so devoid of grander aspirations. Wonder Woman 1984 delivers on the promise of a perfectly average superhero movie experience, and not a cent more. It is neither over- nor underwhelming—you will leave the theater, or your living room, simply whelmed. It's fine, I suppose, but it's certainly not a wonder. 

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  1. “Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) and her alter ego Diana Prince do the sort of things you might want to see Wonder Woman do”

    Go on…

    (*keeps reading*)

    Damn it! This movie sucks.

    1. Gal Gadot looks like a Shoah survivor. We need real women in films! Buxomy women like Kat Dennings are someone little Jewish girls should aspire to be like. As the hero Baruch Goldstein said, “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for Litvak children so that the beauty of the Ashkenazim areolas will not perish from the Earth”.

      1. I’m not real familiar with comic books… are you making a Harry Potter reference?

          1. Yeah, like I’m gonna fall for that one again. I watched a “2 girls” video one time… it was the most disgusting thing I watched that day.

            1. Personally, I’m a fan of Cake Farts.

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            2. I like how you don’t say it was the most disgusting thing you watched ever.

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            3. It was hilarious, right? I sent the link to a girl knew, way back when. She was so mad at me. It was like showing your sister something disgusting when you were kids. Good times, those two sick girls provided.

          2. Kat Dennings has a terrific rack. Instead of choosing between Dennings and Gadot, some producer should cast them in an erotic movie together. Much more productive than arguing over their individual merits, and much more…… satisfying for the audience.

            Maybe a 30 minute shower scene with both of them…..

            1. Udder Insanity starring Kat Dennings and Abigail Shapiro

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    4. I still want to fvck 70yo Lynda Carter

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  2. As long as she’s in satin tights fighting for rights and the old Red, White and Blue.

    1. The Israeli flag is just white and blue.

      1. So, Americans are just Jews on the rag..?

    2. Sheesh… way to come in right after my initial comment to make me look like a misogynist. Yes of course, Go America!

      1. IF THE SHOE FITS… you must acquit.

    3. Do not underestimate The Golden Lasso of Truth. It does not lie.

      This gives rise to another Seinfeld-like thought: Why is is called Wonder Woman: 1984 if she’s not throwing a shotput at the telescreen of Big Brother? What’s up with that???

      1. Hollywood today loves Big Brother.

        1. True, and sad to say, Mickey. They are like minstrels for an Absolute Monarch from the Pre-Enlightenment Age.

  3. I’m only taking time, for the first time, to comment on a movie critique on Reason, because I think the critique itself has mirrored the movie. Playing it safe in case someone be offended, that someone mention how bad this movie really is.

    1. Agreed. This movie was garbage. I would’ve been very upset if it had cost me anything.

    2. Sorry, I didn’t mean to flag your comment. It’s my ham-handed fingers on a tiny keyboard.

  4. “Anyway, maybe Wonder Woman 1984 is a movie you did want to see, if only because 2020 has provided so few opportunities for this sort of megabudget, studio-made franchise entertainment.”

    We should probably account for this when we judge the efforts of the director. Because of the pandemic, there were probably limited opportunities for reshoots, etc.

    “The story, similarly, isn’t really a story. It’s an excuse for a series of trailer-ready bits, a collection of loosely ordered scenes that you might have found in a movie you might actually have wanted to see.”

    When you film these things, you get the big stuff out of the way, and then you film the rest as filler. Because of the pandemic, they may have been severely limited in their ability to shoot the connecting filler anywhere but a sound stage, getting people to come together on a sound stage, etc.

    Q: How do you do a crowd scene in the middle of a pandemic?

    A: You probably rewrite the movie so there isn’t a crowd scene.

    I bet they made all kinds of compromises to get the film out and some money coming in. AT&T has been dying for lack of revenue–they finally broke down in their negotiations with Roku and put HBOmax on the platform so they could get some revenue over the holidays.

    They needed a blockbuster to make people subscribe to HBOmax this quarter–or the stock was in deep trouble. They’re already down 27% since last December, they bought Warner at the worst time, their cable interests are circling the streaming drain, and they’re trying to sell DirectTV, which they bought just a little while ago, for a huge discount to what they paid for it. They desperately needed something to drive subscriptions to HBOmax, and that’s what this was.

    In other words, if it hadn’t been for the pandmeic, this probably would have been a different movie.

    Animated films can maintain their quality because the animators can keep working from home.

      1. “On Dec. 9, the Wall Street Journal, citing knowledgeable sources, reported that AT&T had garnered bids for DirecTV that valued the division at more than $15 billion, including debt.

        AT&T is trying to pare its heavy debt load. DirecTV has struggled since AT&T paid $63 billion for it in 2015.

        https://www.thestreet.com/investing/att-mulls-ditching-directv-auction-ny-post?

        Ouch!

    1. We should probably account for this when we judge the efforts of the director. Because of the pandemic, there were probably limited opportunities for reshoots, etc.

      This doesn’t account for some of the garbage that stayed in the movie and/or seems like it was written in at the ground level. Maybe some parts like crowd shoots and scene/location jumps could be forgiven, but (as I point out below) for having a magic wish stone as the central McGuffin/plot device, there’s a lot of shallow-thinking, idiotic self-conflicting themes and plot devices.

      I don’t agree with the Bechdel Test, but I hope Alison watches this movie and it makes her vomit with joy.

  5. Another great film review from Mr. Suderman. I remember seeing this movie in theaters and enjoying it, but the author raises some very interesting points and I am changing my mind about it. I can’t believe I ever appreciated this sad excuse for cinema.

    1. >Enlightened Atheist
      Nice name. Are you euphoric too?

      1. Not sure what you mean, but if you’re intending that as some sort of pervy Jewish slang for something the no, I’m not euphoric.

        1. Euphoric atheists are known for sodomizing themselves with bananas. Also, they tend to be full of themselves – see below.
          ‘In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.'”

          1. Well, I haven’t had an orgasm in over 7 years (by choice), so yea, while not opposed that, no.

            1. Better clean the pipes once a week. For your prostate’s health!

    2. You remember seeing something that came out 72 hours ago? Are you some kind of savant?

      1. Amazing powers of recollection. He needs a seat at the Justice League, stat!

    3. > I remember seeing this movie in theaters

      It’s been out for three whole days.

      “Gosh, I remember it like it was yesterday.” ODDS ARE IT WAS YESTERDAY!!!

      1. or the day before

    4. You ‘remember’ seeing his film in cinemas? It only came out three days ago. Your phrasing makes me think you’re full of shit.

      1. I watch a lot of movies.

        1. In three days? I call bullshit.

  6. It was pretty awful. Other than a nice, brief hat-tip to the harDCore punk scene and a guest appearance after the credits, it was completely forgettable for me.

  7. Gal Gadot in a skirt showing leg. That’s a good start.

    Oh it’s got some SNL reject in it too. That’s not good at all.

    1. Chanel Santini looks better imo

    2. Yeah, I realize they’re trying to do this “women are so marginalized after they turn 40!” thing going on with Wiig’s casting, but she is seriously WAY past her prime and was never a great actress to begin with. If they wanted a mediocre actress and bring back Chris Pine, they should have cast Halle Berry to do an echo of her Catwoman character as Cheetah, with lots of sexual double entendres to seduce Pine’s character. It not only would have injected some fun in this groaner of a movie, Halle Berry is still fine as fuck even at 54 years old.

      1. Olivia Munn would have been another acceptable mediocre older actress for the part, especially with that amazing uptown rack.

        1. Why did Olivia Munn get the BOGDANOV surgery?

    3. the SNL reject was the best part

  8. Didn’t you realize this is a movie directed by a woman and starring a woman? Therefore it is greater than even Citizen Kane (made by a hetero slaver), and you are a misogynist! Who cares if it was a mess of a movie that was 40 minutes too long (the said 40 minutes being those in which Gal Gadot does not show some leg).

  9. It left out some rather important glue at the end, which was just sort of a fizzle. Maybe it was actually a meta-comment about 2020 and the way this is the annus horribilis that is somehow lingering into the future.

    I will disagree with Suderman about one point. The initial set-piece in the mall was to pay homage to the original TV series in style and tone and then bring in into a version of the 80s that somehow curiously looks almost totally 2019 with the exception of a few visual gags (punks with mohawks, the aforementioned fanny packs, parachute pants) designed to tell you to ignore all the evidence of your eyes and pretend it is really 1984, even if it feels nothing like 1984.

    But the basic plot has been done better in Forbidden Planet and Star Trek TOS’ Shore Leave and, worse in Michael Crichton’s Sphere. On this scale, WW1984 is definitely closer to Sphere in terms of the vapidity of its plot resolution.

    It would have been improved if you actually found out what happens to Max Lord or Kristen Wiig’s character, but things like wrap-up were apparently beneath the directors.

    1. > ignore all the evidence of your eyes and pretend it is really 1984

      1984 as envisioned by someone born in 1994.

      1. Except Patty Jenkins (who both wrote and directed it) was born in 1971….

    2. it was a meta comment that 80’s style greed is bad, and if that we all got we wished for, the world would go to Hades in a handbasket. The writers seemed to think that Ronald Reagan’s one wish would be for more nuclear weapons (even though he held the SALT talks to reduce nuclear weapons), instead of wishing for the Berlin Wall to be torn down (which it was) and the people of the Soviet Union to live in freedom so they could interfere with American elections when a Democrat might win.

  10. What a shit movie. The main character is completely pointless and accomplishes nothing. She doesn’t even defeat the villain.

    1. Did she break the glass ceiling?

  11. I watched it. Was gay.

    1. There is nothing gay about (for a man) to watch Gal Gadot for two hours.

  12. I have to disagree with Suderman, but I do have to give him props for not whining that the movie wasn’t a quip-a-minute Marvel offering, like most nerds do.

    The big problem is that the movie isn’t a Huge Summer Blockbuster. And teenage males and grownup males who haven’t matured yet (like Suderman) want a Huge Summer Blockbuster. But we knew it wasn’t going to be a testosterone fest the moment we knew was the director and producers were. So get past that. There are plenty of fight scenes and explosions in the movie, they’re just not dripping with the masculinity you expect.

    Like Dawn of Justice, it’s a slow burn. The real action doesn’t start until an hour and a half into the two and a half hour movie. That doesn’t mean nothing happens, it just means the frenetic activity doesn’t happen until then. The slow burn is necessary to understand the characters. The villains are real people and they need to be shown as real people before they start with the monologueing and maniacal laughter (which does happen, this IS a superhero movie, after all).

    Pedro Pascal makes an excellent villain! Sort of a Gordon Gecko who want it all, no matter the villainous means it takes to get it, while still remaining a somewhat sympathetic character.

    Kristen Wiig, however, demonstrates yet again that she is not an A List actor. There is a sufficient character arc for her, but she doesn’t pull it off. She ends up being just an excuse for superhero fisticuffs.

    Overall the movie was well worth it. Not as good as the WWI (the one set in WWI), but well worth the price of admission. The idea that movies must be massive hits or else they’re utterly forgettable is a false dichotomy. Plus we get to see the invisible airplane as well as Lynda Carter.

    1. And teenage males and grownup males who haven’t matured yet (like Suderman) want a Huge Summer Blockbuster. But we knew it wasn’t going to be a testosterone fest the moment we knew was the director and producers were. So get past that. There are plenty of fight scenes and explosions in the movie, they’re just not dripping with the masculinity you expect.

      Didn’t seem to be a problem in the first one, so I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at here. What is this pretense that anyone criticizing a STRONK FEMINIST MOOVEE is doing so because it’s not “dripping with masculinity” and huge combat set pieces? Maybe the film is just bad, no matter how they try to gussy it up with era nostalgia, sparkly twinkles, and MUH VAGINA, as opposed to a decent story well-told that isn’t just CGI circle-jerking?

      The villains are real people and they need to be shown as real people before they start with the monologuing and maniacal laughter

      Come on. Some of the greatest villains in cinema history have been done without much in the way of backstory when they were first introduced. EVERYONE who’s watched Star Wars knows right away when Darth Vader walks onto Leia’s ship that he’s a badass motherfucker who shouldn’t be messed with. Hannibal Lecter is introduced in Silence of the Lambs with very little initial setup, but as soon as Anthony Hopkins turns around, you immediately know everything there is about his character and how evil he is, which doesn’t reduce his menace one iota. Like you pointed out, the main problem with Cheetah’s setup is that they cast Wiig in the part, and she doesn’t have the chops to glue her scenes together, because she’s a mediocre television actress who happens to have decent industry connections to get her movie parts.

      1. I’ll concur that Pedro Pascal does an excellent job here, but he’s also a versatile actor that excels at playing supporting roles in particular.

    2. How can you see an invisible airplane?

    3. Both villains were basically good people gone bad. They weren’t menacing at all. And a superhero movie is only as good as its villain(s).

      1. You could say the same thing about Alfred Molina as Otto Octavius/Dr. Octavius in Spider-Man 2. Which was a very good film.

        1. The real villains in Spider-man 2 were the tentacles, not Dr. Otto Octavius.

          Then again, the Spider-Man movies that were really good were never really about the villains. They were about Peter Parker. A memorable villain can help, but if the main character personal journey isn’t well developed, it’s going to be a mediocre movie at best.

          (Iron Man 1 was similarly great despite the villains rarely being the focus of the movie. Iron Man 2 suffered not because its villain was lousy, although he was, but because Tony Stark’s story in it wasn’t compelling. Captain America 1+2 are great because Cap’s character arcs are great – but 3 falls flat because there’s no arc, he ends the movie where he begins).

          So, I haven’t seen WW1984 yet, but if Suderman has the treatment of her character story arc nailed (“all the personality of a supporting character in a teaser trailer”), then it’s a pretty crumby movie.

          Superhero movies aren’t different from other movies. They live or die on character arc and story. Directors who forget that end up making lousy movies.

          Which goes back to Bradybuck’s threadstarting comment – Suderman never accuses it of not having enough explosions or masculinity. He accuses that ‘slow burn’ of not having any point, because WW doesn’t have a compelling character arc.

    4. The idea that movies must be massive hits or else they’re utterly forgettable is a false dichotomy.

      Absolutely true. However, this movie is neither massive hit, cultural touchstone, inspirational precursor, nor cult classic. Ergo, it falls somewhere in the company of the thoroughly forgettable Hulk or The Incredible Hulk.

  13. The movie was… fine. It was kind of nice to have a sappy ending near the e d of 2020… one that just openly called for hope and decency among people. After all… 2020 has done a good job to pull put the worst of a lot of people, sow mistrust, and strain relationships. The movie asks us to rethink ourselves… do we want our passions or do we want goodness? That is a good question to ask during this time where it seems emotionalism has triumphed.

    But as a movie? It was just fine. No regrets seeing it. Prob won’t see it again. Not a great super hero movie but not terrible. The action scenes were at times cool, at times lame. The review just about nails it. But I would guess that while I certainly had some problems with it my experience was more positive than negative. And that makes it a win as a movie.

    Felt like the animated Care Bear movies of my childhood. Not great… not as heavy as The Last Unicorn or as awesome as Transformers… but good and uplifting. And that’s OK with me.

    1. it didn’t call for hope and decency though — it crushed hope and said people weren’t decent, that they would wish only for selfish things and chaos would ensue, so be happy with your 600 dollar stimulus check because if you get the thing you wish for most, the cost will be too high and wreck the planet.

  14. Haven’t seen this one, but saw the first and some of the other movies based on comic books and what I think is that these movies miss is the campiness of the comics. Or at least the ones I grew up reading in the 50’s and 60’s.

    I think the TV shows captured it much better. And Linda Carter was the dream of 90+% of the boys.

    1. If you want comic book campiness, then watch Shazam.

      1. Maybe, but the movies take themselves too seriously. Which works if you are under 12 years old or play video games for hours a day.

    2. Maxwell Lord (Pascal) was campy enough to be in the old Batman TV series.

  15. “The movie is set largely in Washington, D.C., and there are are interlocking subplots about Ronald Reagan’s nuclear ambitions and conflict in the Middle East, but they have been stripped of all real-world specifics. I suppose you could read a Trumpy mania into Pedro Pascal’s Maxwell Lord, a scammy real-estate developer who becomes one of the film’s two villains, but any connection seems more stylistic than specific; the movie might allude to Donald Trump, but it doesn’t say much of anything about him.”

    Uh, Maxwell Lord’s scam was called “Black Gold”. So, no, he was not a “real-estate developer”, but a wannabe oil man. That was pretty obvious and actually a significant plot point. Peter Suderman didn’t pay enough attention to the actual movie to get that right, so I think no one should take his review as worth anything.

  16. My favorite movie, don’t say this bad about her 🙂
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  17. Reagan’s “nuclear ambition” (dream) was to rid the world of nuclear weapons, or at least to render them useless. But I’m guessing that’s not remotely how the slimy creeps of Hollywood depicted it and him at all. Am I right? Of course I’m right. I don’t even have to see the movie to know that.

    Which reminds me that you’ve really got to love how the guys who are still making documentaries about how Reagan was way too old and senile to be president are the exact same jerkoffs who are telling us that Biden is completely and totally fit and will do an outstanding job, because 78 is now the new 58 or some sort of bullshit like that.

  18. Sounds like I can just wait until it shows up on the idiot box.

    The original was “not bad”, but mostly that came from *not* have an all-too-cute happy ending with WW somehow rescuing Trevor before he went all George Kirk. Guess that’s just a bit too old-school of me: saving the world (or a small part of it even) has to have some cost for the leading role.

  19. I enjoyed the movie, although it wasn’t as good as the first one, and I would have preferred to see it on the big screen. (Some of the acrobatics in the opening scene would have been jaw-dropping in IMAX.) I think part of the problem a lot of people have with the movie is that Patty Jenkins didn’t just make a movie set in 1984, but made a movie that frankly was in the style of ’80s superhero and other kid audience-oriented action films (although with less swearing than was typical of the era) in terms of plotting and story-telling.

  20. Some of the actors do fine work: Wiig in particular brings a loopy menace to an underwritten role,

    Wiig plays the same character in every movie she’s in.

    1. It says a lot when both Michelle Pfeiffer *and* Halle Berry are both better looking and better at your role than you are.

      1. And aren’t even, technically playing your role.

  21. Here is Diana Prince hanging out in Washington, D.C., with Steve Trevor (played once again by Chris Pine), her dead boyfriend who has magically returned via a gift from the Convenient Plot Device Fairy!

    So… gonna completely overlook the poor schlub who gets used as a meat puppet so Wonder Woman can get over her 60-yr. teen hearththrob-esque (only much more psychotic) crush on Chris Pine?

    I mean, fuck, if you’ve got a magical plot device, why not just go full Weird Science and fabricate a sex doll out of thin air… unless you’re retarded to the point that you really think such morally compromised idiocy make your heroine more heroic.

  22. I just watched it at the drive through and it was fun. Great venue for it. Big screen, plus I could get out of my car and walk around because the movie was really long and my butt kept falling asleep. I like the movie, but thought the review was fair, and I also agreed with all the comments. It made me think… something is missing, what is it? Oh, that is right. Sex. It would have been a perfect way spice it up and make it more of a campy movie, with more mmmmmm… Like Xenia warrior princess…. But the Wonder Woman movies seem terrified of her sexuality, while ironically they dress her up all sexy. So Wonder Woman, a literal goddess, who is drop dead gorgeous, immortal, and never aging, and is hung up on her first boyfriend, from WW1. Wow. She really needs to get laid, and by that I mean somebody other than ghost boyfriend. But that never happens… And come on, all the potential lesbian stuff—island of amazons, no men— is not there either. All the superhero’s get paramoors, but Wonder Woman is confined to a sexless existence because of some wierd double standard. Why?

  23. yes sir i too agree with you, it is not a wonder women and i watched this movie on cinema hd for free.

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  29. The following are some of the famous as well as well-known short mother poems below:

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  32. Discord italics is used by the players in the gaming zones in the form of Discord italics text formatting. Discord italics text formatting can also be done as Discord bold text formatting. Discord italics text formatting and Discord bold text formatting can also be used in different colours as well as using different as well as unique font styles.

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  33. The following are some of the richest countries in the world below:

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