Halloween

The CDC Doesn't Want Kids Trick-or-Treating for Halloween

How about a "virtual Halloween costume contest" instead?

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has published guidance for families on how to approach the coming fall holidays—and if the federal agency had its way, kids would suffer through a very un-fun Halloween.

"Many traditional Halloween activities can be high-risk for spreading viruses," warns the CDC in information released on Monday. "There are several safer, alternative ways to participate in Halloween."

The very safest activities, according to the CDC, are carving pumpkins with members of your own household, having scary-movie night, or throwing a "virtual Halloween costume contest." (How fun.) Small, outdoor gatherings are classified as moderately risky, and the quintessential Halloween activity—door-to-door trick-or-treating—is considered "higher" risk:

Avoid these higher risk activities to help prevent the spread of the virus that causes COVID-19:

Participating in traditional trick-or-treating where treats are handed to children who go door to door

Having trunk-or-treat where treats are handed out from trunks of cars lined up in large parking lots

Attending crowded costume parties held indoors

Going to an indoor haunted house where people may be crowded together and screaming

Going on hayrides or tractor rides with people who are not in your household

Using alcohol or drugs, which can cloud judgement and increase risky behaviors

Traveling to a rural fall festival that is not in your community if you live in an area with community spread of COVID-19

Crowded indoor costume parties and haunted houses are certainly higher risk activities, though other factors can reduce the danger—if the COVID-19 levels in the community are low, attendees are being tested, etc.

Trick-or-treating, though, takes place outdoors. Can't people just wear masks and hand out candy from their porches? Kids could approach in small groups, even incorporating mask-wearing into their own costumes wherever possible. This hardly seems more dangerous than attending a mass protest or a large public memorial for a beloved Supreme Court justice, but don't expect the CDC to inveigh against any of those things.

Keep in mind that the agency just admitted on Friday that COVID-19 is primarily a respiratory disease spread through airborne particles rather than something you can pick up from touching a compromised surface. Most medical experts, and even vaguely informed citizens, have been aware of this for months. Who knows—maybe six months from now, long after the candy has gone stale, the CDC will revise its Halloween guidance, too.

Earlier this month, Los Angeles announced it would ban trick-or-treating entirely, but then relented and said the activity would merely be discouraged. Similarly, the CDC guidance is merely that: guidance. Hopefully, government health authorities will recognize the diminishing returns of sacrificing every beloved childhood tradition on the altar of extreme coronavirus risk-aversion, and instead give families tips about how they can trick-or-treat in relative safety if they so choose.

NEXT: Why Have Belarus and Other Eastern European Countries Seen Relatively Few COVID-19 Deaths?

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  1. A national even where masks are traditionally the order of the day…

    1. Participated in by the least vulnerable and least likely to spread the virus.

      1. Outdoors.

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        2. and for most o f the time more than a fathom of separation…….

      2. Least vulnerable: probably. Least likely to spread the virus: ha ha ha. Children are filthy little plague-bearers, regular typhoid marys.

        1. get ut much? Read REAL statistics much?
          On one recent extensive study, NOT ONE CASE of a child getting or transmitting the dread virus could be documented.

          NOT ONCE did the disease jump between any child and any adul,t either way.

          Killjoy.

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  2. hey assholes you already have the whole fucking nation in masks, now you’re costing kids candy. dicks.

    1. So Masks aren’t ok now? If they have horns on them?

    2. I’m so glad you put a “.” between “candy” and “dicks.” After all, this is a respectable, law-abiding publication.

      1. lol me too

      2. Let’s eat, Grandma!

  3. Robby was going in costume as a sexy CDC bureaucrat.

      1. Shikha was going as a fence-leaping Mexican.

        1. I always figured her more of a tunnel digger.

      2. The one on the right almost looks like Jim Belushi.

        1. Sorry, John, not Jim.

    1. I’m going as a BLM membership card.

      1. It would be funnier to go as an ANTIFA membership card.

    2. John is going as a mail-in ballot.

      1. A mail-in ballot marked for Trump.

    3. KillAllRenecks is going to be Donnie Osmond.

      1. I don’t care about Donnie osmond, so don’t get the joke.

    4. Nardz is going as an angry white guy.

      1. I thought you were going as the BLM membership card?

  4. Was looking forward to seeing RBG zombies. Drats.

    1. They prefer to be called peaceful protesters

  5. “Thank Jehovah there won’t be any trick-or-treaters this year!” says the Jehovah’s Witness

    1. Hmm, gets me wondering: is there a commenter here that might want to throw Jehovah’s Witnesses into gas chambers or have some other bigoted view? We seem to be getting more bigots around here lately.

      1. Same bigots, different socks.

      2. Hmm, gets me wondering: is there a commenter here that might want to throw Jehovah’s Witnesses into gas chambers or have some other bigoted view?

        Mormons, for some reason. Just Mormons.

        1. He never said it was just Mormons. Don’t know if you want to broach the subject of Jehovah’s Witnesses with him.

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        2. There’s a Holocaust denier too. They the same person?

          1. Could be, the Jehovas witnesses were as persecuted as the Jews were.

  6. Avoid these higher risk activities to help prevent the spread of the virus that causes COVID-19

    Going on hayrides or tractor rides with people who are not in your household

    The problem here isn’t COVID. The problem here is that the people who’ve obviously and outright fabricated the very idea that hayrides spread COVID haven’t appropriately calculated their risk of being fed feet-first into a woodchipper.

    1. A woodchipper will shred six feet apart…if you put three of them in at a time.

  7. So if all kids and people are wearing a mask and the cdc says the risk is still high for getting infected, does that mean the cdc doesn’t think masks are effictive?

    1. Also, not just masks, but masks outdoors.

      1. Please, please, we must all use the proper, modern, scientific, language; “cloth face coverings”.
        So unless the Halloween masks are made of cloth, they will be as ineffective as if the wearer constantly fiddles with the mask, takes it off and puts it back on continuously, hangs it around their neck, and reuses it without sanitizing it between uses.

  8. No. No. NO.

    NO!

    Fuck these guys with a sideways, red hot poker.

    It’s like when I wasn’t watching, that cranky neighbor who bitches at everyone somehow slipped into the control room of the entire country. This lockdown has killed all joy of being kids. Dances canceled. Sports canceled. Kids cannot even hang out in a park together. Now they are canceling fucking Halloween?

    Damn them all to hell.

    1. But it is FOR the kids!

    2. I have a 9 year old grandson and a 7 year old granddaughter. They got kicked out of school in March and lost contact with their friends. 4th of July fireworks were cancelled. Beaches and parks closed. These assholes have done pretty much everything they could to ruin summer and now they’re gonna destroy the rest of the year. Seriously I wish serious pain and misery on these stunningly arrogant ass wipes.

      1. It’s for your own good you know, Grandma Killer.

        1. Public health are direct descendants of the Puritans, who banned almost any and every form of celebration as pagan. So how do you expect them to react to the most pagan of holidays? If only they could find a few witches to hang or burn.

    3. “that cranky neighbor who bitches at everyone”

      They prefer to be called peaceful protesters

  9. Did they include their normal advice that a good trick or treat “treat” is a fun-sized toothbrush and toothpaste?

  10. ♪ It’s the plain situation!
    There’s no negotiation!
    With the fellas at the freakin’ CDC! ♪

  11. The very safest Halloween activities include carving pumpkins with family members or having a scary movie night.

    The very best, safest activity is getting in bed, pulling the blanket over your head, and quivering like a scared puppy.

    1. Or just never get out of bed in the first place.

    2. The very safest activities, according to the CDC, are carving pumpkins with members of your own household

      Data might suggest that more total disability comes from the pumpkin carving than from the trick or treating.

    3. My kids are grown but I just answered a poll stating that of course my kids are going trick or treating.

  12. I’ll be dressing up as Pestilence from the Book of Revelations.

    It should be easy enough to get a horse, since they’re not using horses for the hayrides.

  13. Hey Robby the CDC has retracted their new airborne statement.

    1. They realized it blew apart the reasoning for masks.

  14. “Using alcohol or drugs, which can cloud judgement and increase risky behaviors”

    Are there any days on which the CDC is OK with alcohol or drugs? Why are they singling out Halloween?

    1. That’s kinda the purpose.

  15. The solution is both obvious and simple.
    Everyone trick or treats in costume as a BLM mostly peaceful protester.
    No problems, and no spread of the Communist Chinese Virus.

    1. So all blackface costumes? I am so in. I’m picturing scrubs with turk in white face and jd in blackface

      1. Uh, they’re white.

    2. “…Everyone trick or treats in costume as a BLM mostly peaceful protester…”

      Carrying cans of fire accelerant, I’m guessing.

      1. Well, it IS called TRICK or treat – – – – – – – –

  16. I’m just going to give out squirts of hand sanitizer.

    1. Yeah “hand sanitizer”.

  17. I was gonna dress the little bugger as a Jacobin. With Redfield’s head in his basket.

  18. “Hey, kid, you’re not supposed to be out trick-or-treating in these deserted streets, so just take that Masque of the Red Death costume and go home.”

    Any horror-movie fan knows how that will end.

  19. Doggone it. I was going to make an air cannon and shoot candy bars at…er…to kids in the street.

    1. A potato gun packed with frozen Milky Way bars. I like it.

      1. make a smallbore spud gun, fittd for Tater Tots. Frozen of course. Make sure there is a LARGE chamber for the hairspray, propane, whetever. With a barrel of at least a foot and a ahlf, it would be pretty accurate. AHmmmmm almost talked myself into making one. Just for grins and giggles, you understand.

  20. I recall the tainted candy scare of 1982 (?). Back then, the advice was for parents to inspect the candy before the kids ate it. Back then it was tougher to bullshit people like this. Anyhow, fewer kids meant those of us that did trick or treat made out like bandi…CDC bureaucrats.

    1. I’d be skeered too if someone handed me candy made outta taint.

      1. yeppers. T’aint good fer ya….

    2. It was a good haul that year.

    3. They still give that advice.

    4. I remember the Tylenol scare Halloween well. I was 11 and it didn’t stop me or most of my pals from trick or treating, except for one kid who had a Karen-type mom, and we all felt so bad for him we brought him some of our candy the next day. Of course, there had always been stories of razor blades going in apples or candy bars long before then.

      1. There were inspection sites with x-ray machines for the anxious. I thought the hysteria of those years was bad.

  21. I’m sorry, but in my house, we celebrate Halloween the traditional way or the Great Pumpkin murders us in our sleep.

    It’s a 1A issue, and I’ll sue.

    1. On Halloween I watch witches, and Halloween 1. But on ash wed I watch all of the evil deads

      1. By “all of the Evil Deads” you mean the first 2, I hope.

        No. AoD is not Evil Dead 3.

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  24. I’m guessing the masks and the outdoors locale are fine. It’s the handling of candy to 100 different kids which might potentially spread Covid to 100+ different people, that is problematic.

    1. Sure it might
      But its dad-gum unlikely even without taking any special precautions beyond average everyday personal hygiene.

      For the truly paranoid there’s plenty of ways to do it that aren’t even that onerous even.
      Wear rubber gloves and give em a dip in bleach water every few minutes when serving kids. Or clean your gloves and lay out a line of candies on a railing, deck, or other surface you can disinfect every few minutes so that kiddos can take individual pieces without touching other pieces.

      1. then they’ll die of the poisonois effects of the “sanitiser” you used, built up over the hours….

    2. No shit Sherlock?

  25. “Many traditional Halloween activities can be high-risk for spreading viruses,” warns the CDC in information released on Monday. “There are several safer, alternative ways to participate in Halloween.”

    So…I need to cancel my annual Halloween human sacrifice? That seems a bit much.

  26. “So…I need to cancel my annual Halloween human sacrifice? That seems a bit much.”

    They prefer to be called peaceful protesters
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    And I’m out!

    1. You’re supposed to sacrifice a virgin, but you’re probably 50/50 with a peaceful protester.

      1. In an ancient island culture, a messenger comes to the king and reports that the annual parade of the virgins must be cancelled. THe King is outraged, and asks why. Well, sir, one of the virgins has a cold, and the other one refuses to march alone.

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  28. This hardly seems more dangerous than attending a mass protest or a large public memorial for a beloved Supreme Court justice…

    Are you saying that Halloween activities fail to rise to Nobility Immunity levels? That’s pretty anti-pagan of you.

    1. Anti-semitic, anti Catholic, anti pagan, the democrats are anti everything except socialist.

  29. I much prefer government busy-bodies providing guidance on activities that might be safe or unsafe, rather than governors and mayors providing decrees that prohibit certain behaviors. The latter actually restricts freedom, the former just wastes government time and money.

    It’s what the governors and mayors do with the CDC guidance that will be the problem.

  30. Sorry, CDC, Halloween is going to happen anyway.

    Without taking sides in the Kulturwar, it’s clear that the ruling caste and those affluent castes who cheer them on, don’t understand the other castes. They may look like they are people of color who dutifully vote for Democrats, but they are not your caste! And they’re getting sick of your shit.

    Latinos, Blacks, non-Whiteified Asians, are going to continue doing their lower economic strata thing. You’ve declared them unessential and forced them out of all non-service jobs. They’re stuck at home with their children in non-White neighborhoods. And you expect they’re going to meekly stream Netflix because you say so? Fuck you! Just like the massive fireworks on the Fourth, they’re going to party at the culturally appropriate times to party! Birthday parties with all the kid’s friends and a big bounce house. BBQ on warm summer and autumn weekends and no social distancing. And trick or treating with the kids.

    Okay, lower class whites do the same thing. But we all know they voted for Trump and deserve our contempt. But I’m talking about the people of color. Don’t be playing supremacist over them.

  31. When you start screwing with the one night of the year that gives every attractive young woman in the country an excuse to engage in risqué dress-up you’ve definitely crossed a line.

  32. how’s about a nice quiet stay at home evening, inviding some other young friends over for a fine game of.. Pin the Tail on the Fautchee, or Whack-a-Brix…… coud be entertaining, and political at the same time.

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