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Brickbat: How Do You Handle a Hungry Man?

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In England, former Thames Valley Police department constable Jamie Larman has been barred from working for every police department in the nation after stealing seven full breakfasts from the police training center cafeteria. Larman was just two weeks into his job when he was forced to resign. Larman had been warned about stealing food last year when he was working as a community support officer for the Thames Valley Police.

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  1. A man has to eat somewhere.

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  2. Was it the stealing or the stealing from the police that got him into trouble?

    1. Your beat me to it! Only the Police Department gets this kind of protection!

      “…has been barred from working for every police department in the nation…”

      Way cool! Now expand that to cover ALL police abuses that clearly show that the cop can’t be trusted!

      For once, the Brits are a WEE tad ahead of us! I’ve always thought we REALLY need a USA-wide “blacklist” against people who have clearly shown that they can NOT be trusted with Government Almighty powers! Let’s put it up to a vote in each small community… Do YOU want to employ people on this blacklist?

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    2. Honor among thieves.

  3. Stealing English food doesn’t make sense unless you’re starving in the streets. Then again, neither does paying for it.

    1. “The Germans should have dropped cookbooks on you motherfuckers!” – some comedian I saw once

      1. German food isn’t much better. Maybe if they got the cookbooks from their Italian allies.

        1. Mixing It Up with Mussolini actually has some pretty good recipes and is fairly light hearted. Unlike Hitler’s book on baking……

    2. Spotted Dick, Toad in the Hole, Bubble and Squeak, Bangers and Mash, etc. I could go on and on, but you get the point. All British food names are vague sexual innuendos…

      1. They’re still better then the Scotch. Haggis, anyone?

        1. The Scotch *are* British, just don’t tell the Scottish nationalists.

        2. The Scots at least have deep fried pizza.

    3. Did you see the picture from the original Telegraph article. It’s very similar to the picture here. Looks pretty gross, and I don’t even want to know what that black disk on top is.

      1. The black disk is black pudding which is a type of blood sausage.

        1. I said that I didn’t want to know.

  4. Seven full breakfasts?
    The Constable must either be a bedridden 800lb man or three Hobbits standing on their shoulders inside the uniform!

    1. Based on the linked story, it was one breakfast a day for a week.

      1. Eight days a week? (Cue the Beatles).

        1. Why did I think it said eight breakfasts? I wish there was a “delete post” option here.

  5. To think the next insensitive social media post he reads he won’t be able to caution the poster, he’ll only be able to complain to real police to pay that visit.

  6. What? No qualified immunity in England?

  7. Officers at the facility in Sulhamstead, Berks, are entitled to free food and are allowed to stay on-site if they live more than 20 “crow” miles away.
    I don’t know about the crows where you live. The ones near me don’t fly in straight lines.

  8. But breakfast is the most important meal of they day!

  9. Meanwhile, across the pond here in the US, a cop can shoot seven dogs or seven people and not only continue to work as a cop elsewhere in the unlikely event he is fired, but will more than likely be reinstated with full back pay thanks to the union.

  10. How does one steal one of those full breakfasts? Were they pre-packaged or something?

    1. nvm, read the article

      So dumb. They didn’t have to give him the damned breakfasts. Whatever.

  11. “But as a “non-residential” employee from Abingdon, Larman faced disciplinary action after telling fellow trainee officers: “I am not entitled to this, but I should be, I only live just inside the boundary.””

    rule #1 in life: dont tell nobody nothin.

    “The ex-officer has admitted the wrongdoing alleged, conceding his behaviour amounted to Gross Misconduct.”

    in America gross misconduct would be not killing someone’s dog if you had the chance.

    1. conceding his behaviour amounted to Gross Misconduct Extreme Carelessness
      No one would punish him for that.

  12. People point to Americans as a bunch of pigs who eat too much, but I just want to point out that the plate in the photo is one of the TRADITIONAL ENGLISH BREAKFAST. In the US we traditionally have a single bowl of cereal, or two eggs and a strip of bacon.

    Why isn’t England dead from all the diabetics keeling over from blocked arteries? Must be the fog…

    1. Yeah, but two-thirds of what’s on the plate is inedible. I mean, Jesus: cooked tomatoes, fungus, and runny baked beans?

  13. Bloody Vikings!

    1. Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms, and spam

      1. I don’t much care for Spam!

  14. English breakfasts can be good if you don’t think too hard about what goes in them. Same with lots of food.

  15. Talk about job security: Larman was just two weeks into his job when he was forced to resign electrician columbia md

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