Brickbats

Brickbat: Rescuing You from Yourself

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Police in Tasmania, Australia, say they are using a rescue helicopter to patrol for people violating a stay-at-home order. If the helicopter spots someone on the road, the pilot will alert police to check and make sure that are out for an essential reason. And in remote areas that a police vehicle may not be able to reach, the helicopter might land and warn people to return home.

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  1. Problem is, the heroic helicopter pilots and the dutiful cops are forced to expose themselves thanks to the juvenile actions of these selfish scofflaws. If they really want to save lives they should just chip the whole of the Aussie populace. Then they can use drones mounted with Hellfire missiles to aerially ID and – if necessary – terminate these evil plague spreaders! Hedonistic fools like these undermine humanity’s naturally obedient psyche and make it impossible for the state to guarantee our safety. At least the Aussies don’t have to worry about gun deaths!

    1. Why waste the missiles? Just include a dose of cyanide in each chip that you can trigger remotely

      1. Why waste the remote trigger? Just have the cyanide kick in if the chip gets more than six feet from a home base signal.

        1. Or if they get fewer than six feet away from another chip. Social-distance, or else!

    2. The best part? You can contract out to the ruling party’s IT company to develop an AI that can automate detection, tracking, and ‘intervention’!

  2. So, can’t go for a walk about now, outside in the fresh air and sunshine? The exact thing you could use to help you stay healthy?
    Can you still waltz with Matilda if you stay 6 feet apart?

    1. So, can’t go for a walk about now, outside in the fresh air and sunshine? The exact thing you could use to help you stay healthy?

      The other way as well. A walkabout in remote Australia is going to expose you to lots of things far more threatening to your existence than COVID. Hiking pretty much anywhere that’s unreachable by vehicle runs such a risk.

      1. Dingos could steal your baby!

          1. A full felinectomy followed by a transplant should work…

  3. I’m beginning to suspect not all of this aggressive enforcement is about public health.

    1. Well it would seem being all alone on a mountain top would be considered social distancing by most people.

      1. True; but all these decrees and dictates and edicts are not about public health, but rather about totalitarian imposition of meaningless state controls.

        1. It’s all good as long as the inner party still gets to enjoy life.

      2. No. The virus is magic. As sooon as a hermit walks outside of his cabin on the hilltop, everyone in town dies.

      3. What if you’re standing high up on a mountaintop, naked to the world?

        1. If you ever meet that guy on the trail just nod and say “hi” and keep on walking.

    2. While being in a very progressive county that jerks itself off to useless regulations and ordinances, I’ve noticed that the cops aren’t being dicks (at least not more so than normal). They forcibly shut down a bar that was still open attracting socially undistanced behaviors, and also a pool hall, that was all I’ve heard. I’ve been going out for daily walks, and driving to a grocers every other day, and have not been seeing cop cars in abundance. The only time I saw any cops since this started was at a traffic accident.

      Most rules are on the books so the government can throw the book at you if you tick them off. Doesn’t make them right, but it’s not like there are hoards of cops out there checking to make sure you have papers permitting you to walk to the grocers.

      1. “Most rules are on the books so the government can throw the book at you if you tick them off.”

        I think that covers a multitude of potential sins.

  4. I have to point out something extremely pertinent. If the hikers are so remote that they need a chopper to get to them, they are obviously keeping sufficient distance from others to prevent infection.

    Even Michigan’s lunatic orders allowed for you to go out for exercise.

    1. Air travel is far more critical to the spread of the disease. Nobody hiked the corona virus here from Wuhan.

      1. So if we built a maglev train across the pacific like AOC wants to…

    2. Michigan’s orders weren’t particularly draconian overall (state parks and beaches were never closed, for example)–they just had a bunch of pointless, nutty provisions (no golf, no paint, no garden sections in stores, boating allowed — but only without motors, etc).

  5. Well, I guess we shall soon find out in Georgia – are the Republicans right to believe that people generally are smart enough to take some common-sense precautions to protect themselves during a time of cholera or are the Democrats right to believe that people generally are too goddamn stupid to know what’s for their own good and without somebody telling them what to do they’ll just go around drinking out of the toilet bowl?

    1. It’s all the handrail licking that needs to stop.

    2. Given that the virus apparently doesn’t like heat or humidity, Georgia should be just fine.

    3. They’re Democrats. Their whole shtick is ‘people are idiots and need to do what we tell them to do’.

  6. If there is anything more important than the safety of The People, it is the safety of The State.

    Resistance is futile, or something.

  7. My county (one for the stricter ones) in my state (one of the more stricter ones) lets you go outdoors for a walk (just don’t get near a public park), to go get groceries and other essentials (only at officially designated Essential(tm) stores), deliver essentials to the elderly, attend a funeral (no more than ten in attendance), and a bunch of other stuff.

    In short, it’s OKAY to be outdoors, for just about any reason, so long as you’re social distancing. There are specific rules in place but the cops are most certainly not enforcing them. While some essential businesses have issued “essential worker” papers, the cops around here are NOT asking for papers please.

    So the idea of helicopters flying about in the wilderness to check for people are aren’t at home just fucks with my brain like nothing else.

  8. This isn’t about health and safety. It’s about following the rules. Period.

  9. “And in remote areas that a police vehicle may not be able to reach, the helicopter might land and warn people to return home.”

    So remote, can only be reached by hiking or helicopter. This seems like a laudatory effort to isolate.

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  11. And in remote areas that a police vehicle may not be able to reach, the helicopter might land and warn people to return home.

    Pilot: “Sir, you must return home to practice social distancing!”
    Hiker: “What? I was 10 miles from the nearest person until you showed the fuck up!”

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