Trump Blames Movies and Video Games, More Warnings About Florida Shooter, ICE Could Be Yanked from California: P.M. Links


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  1. President Donald Trump complained that violent movies and video games instigate real life violence…

    Build a wall around FPS games and make the gamers pay for it.

    1. In 30 years all government will be run using the WoW model.

      1. The Leroy Jenkins administration will be considered a new American golden age.

          1. Pot in every fried chicken.

        1. So we are living in the golden age, huh.

      2. What happens when you don’t pay for the upgrade to WoW Washington?

        1. Nothing. They upgrade you for free and add it to the national debt.

    2. Hello.

      Lemme guess. Progs who have an irrational visceral hatred of Christianity are shitting on Graham’s grave from their Twitter accounts, right?

      1. Shreek hasn’t stopped masturbating since he heard the news.

        1. Being unable to achieve orgasm is no joke.

        2. He may have been watching a youtube video of Rev. Graham from circa 1975 while doing so.

          The man had some masculine presence, n’cest pas? How about the pipes?

    3. Build a wall around FPS games and make the gamers pay for it.

      You mean Minecraft?

    4. This is the end of the world…..of Warcraft.

    5. It’s Plants vs Zombies all the way down!

  2. …and called on Twitter for enhanced background checks and raising the age to buy some guns to 21.

    Yeah, Twitter. Get on doing that already.

    1. I had the same reaction, but it would arguably have to be “called on Twitter to enhance background checks” for the joke to work and friggin shred Scott.

      1. And I hereby submit that the next Jimi Hendrix should go by the name Shred Scott.

        1. And his manager will be named Sanford and Shred Scott will sue him for freedom.

          1. Don’t be dumb. His middle initial would be V so he could be called Shred Scott V. Shackford.

    2. Yeah, Twitter. Get on doing that already.

      So is this higher or lower his Twittergenda than keeping Trannies and other psychopaths out of the military?

  3. Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office records show that the family that had taken in alleged Florida school shooter Nikolas Cruz after his mother died warned them that Cruz had pointed a gun at others in the past.

    Ladies and gentlemen, we have our new villains.

      1. I am down with orphans as well.

      2. Cue up Pink Floyd.

    1. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our new villains.

      If only because we don’t have to worry about their parents using them as political props.

  4. Public schools in West Virginia are closed as teachers picket for better pay and benefits.

    All twelve students are using the time off to hang out with their children and maybe pick up some extra shifts at the Wal-Mart.

  5. Trump says he’s thinking of pulling federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers out of California as punishment to the state for not being cooperative.

    How interesting that would become.

    1. But who will enforce Customs?! Who will break skulls in the name of America!?

      Who will keep out those dastardly Australian animals?!

      1. Take that back, or else how will we get the remake of Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles .

  6. Prince Harry’s fianc?e, as “racist hate crime.”

    Even if technically a crime, any hate against the British Royal Family is justified.

    1. Raylan Givens agrees. They pulled first.

    2. She still has a couple months to not join that family.

  7. Public schools in West Virginia are closed as teachers picket for better pay and benefits.

    Tone. Deaf.

  8. Evangelist Billy Graham, who died on Wednesday, will lie in the Capitol Rotunda next week for members of the public to pay their respects.


    1. How many people will be mortified when they see his body and realize they were thinking of Pat Robertson?

      1. True fact: the Capitol Rotunda is not large enough to contain Pat Robertson’s enormous head.

    2. Wouldn’t even care if the guy had actually done his job well but can anyone say that any of the presidents he was pastor to from Truman to Obama were actually morally good presidents. His track record is horrible and deserves no state honor. Participation trophies are for snowflakes.

      1. How many of them took him seriously?

        Was Clinton getting a bj from an intern when he got the call from his secretary that Mr Graham is here for his 2 pm meeting?

        Was Bush II signing an order to send yet more troops into Iraq to slaughter some Arabs when he got a similar call?

        Was Obama signing off on one of his several undeclared wars when he got the same call?

  9. Scotland Yard is treating an envelope filled with a white powder sent to Meghan Markle, Prince Harry’s fianc?e, as “racist hate crime.”

    Because it wasn’t brown? I don’t get it.

    1. White powder always gets preferential treatment. Think about it.

      1. Well it’s certainly better than white rocks, according to the law. Right?

    2. Can’t it be a sexist hate crime?

      1. Or a sexy hate crime?

        1. Or a crime of sexy hate?

    3. The racist comes from the fact that her husband-to-be is a ginger. (I’m 1/16th ginger so I’m allowed to use that term, but that’s *our* word and the rest of you have to stick with “person of pallor”.)

      1. He’s also a bastard (probably nice guy, just not Charles’ son).

    4. Because it wasn’t brown? I don’t get it.

      Can’t have fucking American immigrants, polluting the royal bloodline. Before you know it you’ll have a white supremacist Russian sock-puppet running the place.

    5. The only reason anyone would possibly do that is because she is half black. Couldn’t just be because she’s a high profile famous person in the UK, or any other reason. Only racism.

      Either that or “racist” has lost all meaning and is not just a generic intensifier for anything bad.

      1. Apparently I’m the only one here who actually read the article:

        “It is understood the package contained a racist note and was received on 12 February.”

    6. At Woodstock when they said that the brown acid wasn’t particularly good – racist.

  10. The substance proved to be harmless.

    The powder had null effect, like British royalty itself.

  11. A Democratic California state senator has resigned over sexual misconduct allegations.


    1. Call me when it’s a Republican.

        1. Would you like to be? Responsibilities include scouring the Internets for new porn subgenres, sending threatening letters to local waxing salons, playing PS4 with your boss, and the occasional floor clean up.

          1. Responsibilities include scouring the Internets for new porn subgenres

            I’m not going to make him do an impossible task.

  12. Evangelist Billy Graham, who died on Wednesday, will lie in the Capitol Rotunda next week for members of the public to pay their respects.

    Just what we need, another person lying in the Capitol.

    1. Best joke today.

      1. I know…you weren’t joking.

      2. Most obvious joke of the day, so trite even Fist wouldn’t use it.

        1. It may be low hanging fruit, but you were the first to pluck it and deserve to savor the jocular nectar.

            1. What have you done with the real Fist?

  13. President Donald Trump complained that violent movies and video games instigate real life violence

    I thought we already went through this crap in the 90s. What’s old is new, I guess. Coming soon, a stained dress in the oval office. //pun-intended.

  14. Shackford couldn’t even be bothered to link his video game one to Bailey’s post a scant fifteen minutes earlier.

    1. They’re double teaming it parallel today.

  15. warned them that Cruz had pointed a gun at others in the past.

    There were no indications that he may have been a homicidal asshole.

    1. Oh, shit, I misread this and thought they were talking about Ted Cruz’s father and the Kennedy family.


      1. I’d like to glimpse into a world where Ted Cruz shot up a Nantucket high school.

        1. Yeah, I’m just remembering when Trump hinting that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in the Kennedy assassination. So many jokes at Ted’s expense with this shooting that I almost can’t choose.

          It’s probably ‘too soon’ but I’ve never really cared much for that.

          1. If Fidel could hit a curve ball, would JFK have been assassinated?

            1. Yes – because LBJ.

  16. #OutOfThisWorldWOKE: NBC Runs Op-Ed Stating That Plans for the Exploration of Mars Are Just Another Symptom of Male Entitlement
    …Rather, the impulse to colonize — to colonize lands, to colonize peoples, and, now that we may soon be technologically capable of doing so, colonizing space — has its origins in gendered power structures. Entitlement to power, control, domination and ownership. The presumed right to use and abuse something and then walk away to conquer and colonize something new….

    1. Not the first time it was posted here, but it’s worth reading again.

    2. Or, if you reverse this, it means that it’s far more feminist to…annihilate all life.

      Are we not supposed to infer that?

    3. the impulse to colonize ….. has its origins in gendered power structures.

      The impulse to take shit that doesn’t belong to you has its origins in protozoa.

      1. Everyone knows that the female gender is incapable of theft! I mean, you know, unless they really wanted to since women can do anything a man can do. They just, as a gender, voted not to ever do that. Wait, voting is also rooted in the male patriarchy of the enlightenment so uhh…I don’t know. They had a knitting circle? They’re basically the New Victorians so it seems as fitting as anything else.

    4. If you occupy foreign land but there’s nobody within 35 million miles to oppress and exploit, did you colonize?

    5. Apparently, it’s not gay if it’s on Mars.

    6. “You point fingers back far enough and some germ gets blamed for splitting in two.” – Saul Tigh

    7. the impulse to colonize… has its origins in gendered power structures

      “Crocodiles and tigers evolved from lizards, ergo crocodiles evolved from tigers.”

    8. The presumed right to use and abuse something

      Abuse has a universal objective definition!

      and then walk away to conquer

      Inanimate objects can be conquered!

      and colonize something new

      Change is bad!

  17. He also takes a dim view of having active shooter training simulations in schools

    Well, 1 out of 4 suggestions is not stupid. Not bad for a politician.

  18. ?Public schools in West Virginia are closed as teachers picket for better pay and benefits.

    But what about the children?! Oh, right, fuck them. GO UNION, GO!

    1. This is West Virginia. The children are all out smoking behind a dilapidated barn. Also, they’re all cousins.

      1. I mean, most people are cousins. I am a cousin.

        1. He means each one are cousins, plural. West Virginia has complex identity issues.

          1. If you go back far enough, any two random people are “nth cousins, m times removed” of some sort.

            1. Any two living things, I suppose.

            2. Yes, it is mathematically certain, so I’ve heard, that all white people alive today can count Charlemagne as one of their ancestors.

      2. I knew there was a reason why I’ve avoided the East coast like the plague. Well, that and all my Irish relatives live in New York state.

        That said, that’s not at all different from how it is here in Texas so I guess they’re probably about the same level of inbred.

        On the plus side, at least we ain’t Pakistan!

        1. Appalachia is rather distinct from “East Coast”.

          1. Not to most Texans, it isn’t.

  19. Trump says he’s thinking of pulling federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers out of California

    An interesting strategy, Cotton. Let’s see how it plays out.

  20. Public schools in West Virginia are closed as teachers picket for better pay and benefits.

    In other news, “Thousands of teaching positions just opened up in West Virginia” is a headline I would be reading if the WV was sane. Seriously, you are a public employee in a gov’t monopoly. You strike, you should be fired, with prejudice. ///ForTheChildren

  21. “racist hate crime.”

    She’s not even black. //jk

    Meghan Markle

    I’ll be in my bunk.

  22. Evangelist Billy Graham, who died on Wednesday, will lie in the Capitol Rotunda next week for members of the public to pay their respects.

    See. This is something that the media could rip Congress a new asshole for. let me look at Google new to see if they are.


    The NRA is at the top of Google news feed.

    The media can chodle my balls. Useless propagandists all of them.

  23. Anti-fa is shutting down a Takke tour venue by venue because the band’s leader once performed with a swastika on his chest some ten years ago.

    Couple of observations:

    1) Takke is a Norwegian black metal band that has put out some of the most virulent, anti-Christian music imaginable.

    I’d say it’s ironic that anti-fa doesn’t care about the band being intolerant of Christians, but “ironic” implies unexpected–and I wouldn’t expect anti-fa to care about intolerance towards Christians at all.

    2) Ever heard of a Satanic cuck?

    “For reasons out of my control, and frankly out of my realm of understanding, I will be removing myself from the tour with Taake. It must be made clear that I am a Luciferian and do not preach hate, nor would I endorse a setting that allows hate to happen. I believe in both personal and spiritual growth as well as the spread of knowledge beyond all sacrifice and at all costs. The banner under which people enter a King Dude concert must be welcoming to all people of all walks of life, race, religion, gender etc.

    —-Kind Dude entertainment/music/seattles-king-dude-quits- tour-with-controversial-band-taake- as-nazism-allegations- against-taake-resurface/

    He might be a Luciferian, but he’s not a racist–but even though he’s not a racist–he’s abandoning the Taake tour because . . .

    Standing up for free speech is hard?

    Anti-fa is scary?

    Satan might be evil, but he’s scared of anti-fa calling him names?

    1. The least you could do, Ken, is to link to some of their music.

      1. Ok, I checked them out. They suck.

        1. Not everybody likes Norwegian black metal.

          I’m not a big fan of it myself.

          As Norwegian black metal bands go, Taake’s pretty much considered top of the heap.

          I don’t have to like something to admit it’s good.

          I’m not into ballet. I’m sure Baryshnikov was a great dancer.

          1. Oh, I love black metal. The fact that I never listened to Taake though, would challenge your claim that they are at the top of the heap.

            1. *Norwegian* black metal

              Not just any black metal.

              1. Yeah, influence-wise, there’s Mayhem and Burzum.

                Taake is up on the top of the heap of Norwegian black metal with those guys.

                After those guys, I’m more interested in the ambient stuff or whatever Fenriz is doing.

        2. If its metal, I peddle.

        3. Here:

          That’s their classic contribution to the genre.

          1. Too melodic for black metal. It’s not symphonic by any means, but it’s not very raw.

            1. Funny, I thought they aren’t melodic enough. But I prefer the more melodic black bands.

              1. How much did you listen to? I’m about halfway through the album Ken linked to as their classic contribution. It’s production is very neat. It’s like listening to Opeth but without the interesting bits.

          2. I really like the instrumentals, but the vocals are ridiculous. I’d be up for the karaoke version.

            1. That’s the genre.

    2. I’ve never really understood the concept of creating a weird little religion based upon essentially the fall guy from a completely different faith.

      Satanism is one of the most retarded things around, in my view, but hey you’re free to believe retarded shit if you want I guess.

      I love the bit where he admits that he doesn’t understand why he’s leaving the tour, though. Just admit it, jackass, it’s because it’s hurting your bottom line.

      1. You are confusing satanism with devil worship. Satanism is just hedonism for the most part.

        1. You are confusing satanism with devil worship.

          This is missing a sarc tag, right?

          1. No. Satan is a word with distinct meanings from the devil of christian tradition.

            1. It does, hence ‘Great Satan’, but in a overwhelmingly Christian majority nation it had to be an intentional choice.

        2. ‘…for the most part’ is the part that I’d wonder about, but frankly they brought that on themselves when they decided to use a widely known figure from another religion in their title.

          I mean, I don’t really care but you’re just inviting confusion when you do something like that.

          1. They do it explicitly to be edgy.

            1. Or as a general rebellion against Christianity. Which I respect less then those weird Wodenists out there. It seems strange to rebel against a group by adopting giving credence to their stuff.

              1. Exactly. If you’re going to be an edgelord, go full bore pagan.

      2. “I love the bit where he admits that he doesn’t understand why he’s leaving the tour, though. Just admit it, jackass, it’s because it’s hurting your bottom line.”

        He’s apparently projecting Satanism because it helps his bottom line, too.

        Why pretend to be a big bad Satanist if you’re afraid of what anti-fa says about you?

        If you’re more afraid of anti-fa than Lucifer, then by the tenants of Luciferianism, shouldn’t he worship . . . I dunno Caitlyn Jenner or Oprah instead of Satan?

        1. He’s apparently projecting Satanism because it helps his bottom line, too.

          I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason why anyone deals with Satanism. It’s the type of religion you found when you’re pissed off at your Christian parents if you ask me.

      3. The guy who wants to let people take their (individual) pride, (state-disapproved) lust and (capitalist) greed out for a stroll vs. the guy who wants to send people to “hell” for eternity if they dare have any god but him?

        At minimum, I fail to see why libertarians should have any preference for the latter over the former.

        1. Because if you assume the mythos is true, it means that you’re rooting for the entity that not only can’t win, but the one that already lost at a massive personal loss for the individual as well. Obviously.

          If you’re going to go the hedonism route, Dionysus makes more sense. At least he wasn’t definitively ‘evil’.

          1. And why should I believe the blatant propaganda put out by God’s Ministry of Truth about how Satan’s efforts are “doomed”? Or how anyone who dares to feel lust, greed, pride or sloth is “evil”?

            The Bible’s version of Hell sounds a lot like the DPRK’s and USSR’s version of the USA.

            1. You don’t need to believe a god, look at the fruits of those who pursue ‘lust, greed, pride, and sloth’.

              I came to those conclusions independently for that very reason, in fact. It’s the same reason why I try to honor the golden rule despite not being more than an agnostic at this point.

              1. FTR, I don’t believe in God or the Devil, but if I had to choose, I’d pick the latter.

                “Lust, greed and pride” are usually used by statists to refer to “thinking and living for yourself and acting without the town council’s approval”, and given the aforementioned standing threat by God to send unbelievers to an eternity of (what is alleged to be) torment, I feel quite comfortable classifying him as “statist”, even if in practice the enforcement of “his” laws is dependent on the sinner’s willingness to believe in him.

                1. I maintain that there is no more concise and complete statement of libertarianism than “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

                  1. Sure. If only that were the extent, or even a significant element, of Christianity as it has actually been historically interpreted and implemented.

        2. Um, the question isn’t which you “prefer.”

          Either God of the 10 Commandments exists and has power to smite you for worshipping other gods, or He doesn’t.

          If he does, then it doesn’t matter what you “prefer.” You’d better get with the program.

          And if he doesn’t, then have a nice day!

          1. Then let us assume, for the sake of argument, he does not.

  24. Minnesota toddler is allergic to water

    “Well, that’s different.”

    One wonders how the kid survived the womb.

    1. “I just hope that she can actually drink water and be able to lead a somewhat normal life,” Brittany Angerman said.

      She’s oppressed by 70% of the Earth’s surface. She is the definition of the new normal. Get her in the right school and all the kids who are *only* gluten and peanut sensitive will be forced to bow and cater to her every whim.

    2. Looking up this disease appears to confirm that it’s not really an ‘allergy’ at all.

      It is, however, bizarre as hell and apparently only around 50 cases of it have ever been reported.

    3. Might need to move out of the land of 10,000 lakes.

    4. Does she have green skin and pointy teeth?

  25. Turns out there was an armed Sheriff’s deputy at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School at the time of the shooting, but he just Noped the heck out as soon as the gunfire started:

    Parkland shooting: Armed school resource officer ‘never went in’ to school during shooting

    1. Unhinged homocidal maniacs are really scary.

      1. He might have also jeapordized cops #1 mission – to make it home safely at the end of a shift.

    2. Cops are mercenaries. Minimum wage mercenaries. We pretend they’re more, but they’re not.

      Teachers with actual emotional bonds to their students would be a lot less likely to bolt, and would have no legal authority to use their CCW to abuse their students like SROs have.

      1. The evidence is that teachers are willing to risk themselves to protect their students.

        Give them something to use.

        No cop is going into a hostile situation without backup.

      2. Cops are mercenaries. Minimum wage mercenaries.

        Uh, I don’t think you realize how well paid cops are.

        1. “Mercenaries with pay schemes that correlate poorly with performance” didn’t seem to roll off the tongue.

          1. We just are asking you to respect their pay grade.


    3. It’s almost as if people are more motivated to protect themselves than others.

  26. Mendoza, whose district included parts Montebello, Downey, Buena Park and Lakewood, issued a scathing resignation letter in which he described the investigation as “farcical.”

    “It is clear that Senate President Pro Tem Kevin de Leon will not rest until he has my head on a platter to convince the MeToo movement of his ‘sincerity’ in supporting the MeToo cause,” the 46-year-old Mendoza wrote, referring to a fellow Democrat.

    Lawyers investigating complaints against Mendoza, who is married, found that he likely engaged in unwanted “flirtatious or sexually suggestive” behavior with six women, including four subordinates, a lobbyist and a young woman in a fellowship with another lawmaker.…..e/3125151/

  27. Makes you wonder if President Trump once had an affair with Tipper Gore.

  28. Seems like crime rates have actually fallen dramatically since the advent of the internet and video games. Less time on the street for young men with nothing to do.

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