Irma Damage Is Assessed, Battle Over DACA Replacement Heats Up, and Ted Cruz Has a Porn Scandal: P.M. Links

• 

  Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Newscom

  With Irma mostly burned out, officials begin assessing the damage.

• The legislative battle over what will replace DACA is heating up.

• Republicans will introduce last-ditch Obamacare repeal bill Wednesday.

• Apple has unveiled its long-awaited iPhone X. It has no home button and surgical-grade stainless steel. Woah!

• Sen. Ted Cruz appears to have liked a pornographic video on Twitter. He who is sinless, cast the first comment.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

With Irma mostly burned out...

So am I.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

[BestUsedCarSales]

S'up? A/S/L?

[HeteroPatriarch]

Hurricane fatigue?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The legislative battle over what will replace DACA...

Congressional ennui?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Republicans will introduce last-ditch Obamacare repeal bill Wednesday.

This ditch is already filled to the brim with embarrassment.

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

So, they're giving members from swing districts the chance to cast a symbolic vote against Obamacare?

[CE]

Another "last" ditch to repeal Obamacare?

Is it closer or farther than the last ditch to raise the debt "ceiling"?

[Citizen X - #6]

Sen. Ted Cruz appears to have liked a pornographic video on Twitter. He who is sinless, cast the first comment.

Welp, we've just learned something about Britches.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They have porn on the Twitters? I really need to get on that internet.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Tumblr -- that thing the kids use but I don't understand -- deals heavily in the dirt.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Used to be the biggest reporting of pornography on the internet before Yahoo acquired them.

[CE]

Yahoo ruined Daily Motion too.

[CE]

And Yahoo News.
And Yahoo Sports.
And now, Yahoo Mail.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

You know who else had a very appropriate first name?

[CE]

Richard Nixon?

[Fist of Etiquette]

It has no home button and surgical-grade stainless steel.

Only surgeons will be able to afford it.

[Anomalous]

Home? It has no home.

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

But it shall create a new race of people. A race of app users who will rule the vurld.

[BestUsedCarSales]

What is surgical grade stainless steal?

[Zeb]

It's a fairly loosely defined term for highly corrosion resistant steels suitable for medical tools and implants. Not sure why it's useful for phones. I guess you can leave your iPhone in warm salt spray for a week now or something.

[CE]

Or you can look up how to do home surgery in Safari, then pop out the surgical grade stainless steel scalpel that is activated when you download the Home Surgery app. Which will come in handy if you have to wait too long for surgery with Bernie's Single Payer Plan.

[Don't look at me.]

See how it all works together? Think of the savings !

[Mike Laursen]

Anybody who is going to lay out $999 for an iPhone X is only going to keep buying whatever Apple puts out every year. They do not need long-lived stainless steel.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Sure they do. I want it to be in good shape when they sell it to me for $150 next year.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Sen. Ted Cruz appears to have liked a pornographic video on Twitter. He who is sinless, cast the first comment.

Reality Kings? Look at Mr. Privileged Whitey over here spending money on his internet porn.

[BestUsedCarSales]

His family bravely fought their way from Cuba so he could grow up in a country where you can pay for some fat titties.

[Citizen X - #6]

I'm pretty sure Cruz didn't pay anything for all that titty meat he's packing.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Truly we are the land of the free

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

It took me a while to figure out what you meant there. Truly a vile mental image.

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

He's also showing no respect for Shawn Rees by watching that. We all know that there will always be only one true "Milf Hunter".

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Apple has unveiled its long-awaited iPhone X. It has no home button and surgical-grade stainless steel. Woah!

I'm waiting for the future tech all-in-one Armband or simply injecting the phone into my brain.

[CE]

Shouldn't that be "Whoa?"

[BYODB]

Indeed, I'm pretty sure Keanu is clinically devoid of exclamation marks at this point.

[Citizen X - #6]

Mr Cruz has however previously admitted to viewing porn.
In his 2015 autobiography A Time for Truth he describes watching pornography with Supreme Court justices to research a case.

And yet when i try to do that at my job, i get to have an uncomfortable conversation with the firm's managing partners.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Get a government job. It's basically nothing but fucking.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

"Soo, Citizen X, beloved employee, all this time I thought you were watching cat videos, with all that meowing. Interesting sub-genre. Please stick to vanilla porn while at the office. That will be all. Keep up the good work."

[Juice]

Apple finally got on the no button train, huh? And since they're only 3rd or 4th in line with it, everyone copied off their brilliant innovation.

[BestUsedCarSales]

They're truly the Nintendo of Phone manufacturers.

[Juice]

The future of the smart phone! From 6 months ago.

[Juice]

Ooh, cutting off a piece of the screen to accommodate the camera? That's the same ugly mistake LG made.

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

Ted Cruz's favorite movie is called The Lengthy Filibuster.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

The Massive Election

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

I'm only a bill...but I'm a budget bill and I'm massive.

[Rich]

Throbbing Members of Congress

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

An All-Night Sitting by the Subcommittee...of Love

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

Ballot Stuffers Three: The Well Hung Chad

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

+1 Woodie nomination

[chemjeff]

"Oooo, Ted, you really are a cuckservative!"

[Jerry on the sea]

Turning the Page

[AlmightyJB]

Please tell me it was Nailin' Palin.

[Don't look at me.]

Call a doctor if you have an election that lasts longer than 4 hours.

[BestUsedCarSales]

I tried to read the Apple article, when I read "It's the first OLED screen great enough to be in an iPhone" I just stopped.

[Juice]

They're at least 6 months behind the game now. Playing catch-up.

[BYODB]

Which is not good for them since basically all they have right now is iPhone sales.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"There are a number of people on the team that have access to the account and it appears that someone inadvertently hit the like button," said Mr Cruz. "When we discovered the post... we pulled it down."

Everyone has his own technique.

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

What are you trying to pull?

[Rich]

LOL

"And we've been pulling it down ever since."

[Sports Reporter Charles Manson]

You have such a dirty mind, he simply meant that as soon as they found out that they'd accidentally liked the site, they yanked it.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Oh, they jerked it?

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

I'm looking at new cell phones now, and dang it, why are they all so darn big? It seems like if I want a reasonably sized phone, I have to settle for something ugly. Or an iPhone SE, which, hell no.

[BestUsedCarSales]

The biggest reason is people want a stronger CPU, and people also want a thin phone. Batteries as a whole do not increase in capacity quickly. Increase in battery capacity is far outpaced by increase of CPU power consumption. So, you make it big, you can also add a big screen because you're using the space and people like that. Underneath though you need a bigger battery to support the phone and that simply takes up space.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Shut up.

[BestUsedCarSales]

The world would change in a fundamental way if there was a major breakthrough in battery technology.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Oh my god shut up.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Did you know that the average soldier carries around ~40 lbs of batteries to power their kit. Imagine if we could remove that weight from their shoulders.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Bullshit.

[Stormy Dragon]

why are they all so darn big?

Stops short fingered vulgarians from buying them.

[CE]

Because people want a big screen for viewing videos. It's not really a phone anymore, it's a tablet. Most communication is done by texting.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

I just want something that texts, can make the occasional call, plays my music (without forcing me into itunes), updates me on the weather and subway, gives me incognito tabs for porn, and doesn't insult me with a cartoonishly bright and rounded interface. I'm not looking to watch a Paul Thomas Anderson film in 4K on a stupid 6" display, because I'm not a crazy needy person.

[Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian]

I quite like my SE, so you go ahead and smd.

[BYODB]

This is, horrifyingly enough, another thing we agree on MJG. People with essentially a iPad stuck to their face will be the laughing stock of the next generation.

[Juice]

Most communication is done by texting.

For some people, sure. I do about 3-4 texts per month.

[Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian]

why are they all so darn big?

Which, when combined with the shallow pants pocket syndrome, makes it hard to be a gangster.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Precisely. I don't have deep pockets, in either sense of the term.

[noparticularreason]

Research. It's always for research. The internets are the very soul of academe.

Surgical (grade) stainless is commonly 316--corrosion resistant in salt solutions (like blood/serum), strong, etc. So the case of the iPhone could be sterilized and implanted into your forearm, I suppose.

[CE]

Hey, no more lost phone! No more dropping it! Woah!

[Brandybuck]

So the jizz won't rust like my last phone? Asking for a friend...

[BestUsedCarSales]

Real talk. If your jizz is rusty then please, please, please go to a doctor.

[Zeb]

Hmm. One of these days I'll probably have to break down and get one of these new-fangled smartphone thingies. Probably not an iPhone, though.

[BestUsedCarSales]

They're okay. It's mostly a porn viewing/shit posting device for me.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

And a shit viewing/porn posting device for others.

[BestUsedCarSales]

You are the Yin to my Wang.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

TMI, fellas.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

I get a lot of use out of dem pizza apps.

[BestUsedCarSales]

The saddest night of my life is when I realized that I already had a Dominos Pizza App account.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

I see your taste in phones parallels your taste in beers.

[AlmightyJB]

Don't do it. Waste of time.

[lap83]

/posted from your iPhone?

[Bra Ket]

I was slow to get a smartphone (I loved my razr2 and used it till it was completely worn out) but have to say they're pretty damn nice to have.

iphone really seems like the dominant option, more due to the suckiness of the competition. A lot of things do uniquely suck about apple of course.

[Agammamon]

Re: iPhone X

That screen certainly isn't edge-to-edge. I've got a smaller bezel on my Galaxy S5.

[ChipToBeSquare]

I wonder if he thought the "Fight For 15" was about the minimum age, not the minimum wage

(credit to people on Twitter for that joke)