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Robots Know If You're Gay, Hurricanes Thwart ICE-Raid Plans, Surrogacy Debate About to Heat Up (Thanks, Kim and Kanye!): A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 9.8.2017 9:02 AM

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  • CS5/WENN/Newscom

    Was federal judge nominee Amy Coney Barrett unfairly heckled by Congress over her Catholicism?

  • Wisconsin is considering whether to impose $5,000 fines on anyone caught soliciting prostitution.
  • The Trump administration could transform school lunches.
  • Texting someone under 18 is now sex trafficking.
  • Hurricanes are raining on Homeland Security's parade.
  • Robots know whether you're gay or straight. (No word on how they do with bisexuals.)
  • Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that they're using a surrogate to carry their third child, so expect a national debate on surrogacy ethics and regulation soon.

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NEXT: Democrats Are Increasingly Comfortable With Religious Tests

Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Robots know whether you're gay or straight.

    They show you the volleyball scene from Top Gun.

    1. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

      They ask your opinion on the Underworld film series?

    2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

      People objecting to the researchers dicumenting this. If it can be done, then it will be done. The genie cannot be put back in the bottle, as there was no bottle in the first place.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        "Putting the genie back in the bottle" is actually a gay sex act.

        1. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

          I do not need to know that.

        2. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

          The Bottle With The Genie Put Back Into It was my nickname in elementary school.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            D-:

    3. CE   8 years ago

      New improved security robots, now with gaydar!

  2. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Texting someone under 18 is now sex trafficking.

    I'm beginning to worry they might be close to watering down that term.

    1. Cyto   8 years ago

      Using the phrase "watering down" is sex trafficking.

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        I...........knew it!

        1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

          If you're R. Kelly.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            "That's my Robert, always peeing on people."

            1. Idaho Bum   8 years ago

              "According to the probable cause statement, West also said he would get paid for the introduction of the boy to "his people." "

              Not just the text, but an implied introduction.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    (No word on how they do with bisexuals.)

    DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.

    1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

      I'm guessing they can't spot bisexuals because that includes everyone ever born.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

        A spectrum adherent.

        1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

          Just saying...you put any man alone on an island with another guy he gets along with, 6 months to a year later, you're going to have lovers.

          I don't feel impulses to be with men sexually or romantically, but I won't pretend it isn't somewhere at some level in my psyche under decades of cultural conditioning. At the end of the day, our social and biological impulses cast a wiiiiide net, just like every other animal's.

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            Because the reality that most lonely men will never be gay is too hard for you to fathom.

            I always laugh at people like you. You are convinced that your fantasies about men are what other men think about. That means you will come out of the closet... someday.

            For the rest of us straight men who think about women's anatomy more than we care to admit and do not care what gay people do, would die on that island without ever puncturing some other guys butthole. Main reason is that straight guys don't want to stab another guys butthole.

            1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

              Dude, you definitely proved how straight you are. Good work!

            2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              Look at lc1789, assuming he'd be the pitcher.

          2. Lord_at_War   8 years ago

            That's just bullshit. I was a 15 yr old in "Juvie jail" when some guy "came on" to me. I got out of "solitary" 3 months before he got out of the hospital.

            1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

              Which of you violated NAP? I can't tell by the scare quotes.

  4. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    The Trump administration could transform school lunches.

    Trump Steaks for everyone!

    1. Anomalous   8 years ago

      Cooked to well-done leatheriness, with ketchup.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        Hunt's, not Heinz.

    2. Sports Reporter Charles Manson   8 years ago

      They can find a use for all those species they're taking off the Endangered Species List.

      1. CE   8 years ago

        Again, if we weren't supposed to eat them, why are they made out of meat?

  5. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    The Best Christmas Movie of All Time Is Being Turned Into a Must-Have Children's Book

    It's unfortunate that Die Hard, the best Christmas movie of all time, isn't really a film you can watch with your kids. But this year, instead of suffering through Elf once again, you can spend some quality time with your PG-rated family members by reading a new holiday children's book based on the adventures of John McClane.

    "He wasn't lying about Marco - he's down on the street."

    1. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

      "All together kids - yippee ki yay mother..."

    2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

      "Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate."

    3. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

      It's unfortunate that Die Hard, the best Christmas movie of all time, isn't really a film you can watch with your kids.

      Yes, it is.

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        You could always go with Bad Santa.

        1. mad.casual   8 years ago

          I was gonna recommend The Passion Of the Christ but that's really more of an Easter Movie.

        2. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

          Best sex scene....

          fuck me santa fuck me santa....

      2. mattcid   8 years ago

        My kids love John Wick.

  6. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Wisconsin is considering whether to impose $5,000 fines on anyone caught soliciting prostitution.

    Someone either needs money or votes from cheated wives.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that they're using a surrogate to carry their third child...

    Who would want to mess with that perfect figure... IS WHAT SOMEONE WHO BODY SHAMES WOULD SAY.

    1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

      It's actually pretty impressive how the Kardashians were able to create a money-printing television and social media empire out of Kim's sex tape, although you have to wonder if Caitlyn would still be Bruce if that show never goes on the air.

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        Who are these Kardashians?

        They are easy to ignore if you don't watch reality tv garbage and steer clear of fake news networks.

        1. Rhywun   8 years ago

          I think they're a lab experiment gone horribly wrong.

        2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

          Well, sure, they're easy to ignore on a general basis. Doesn't mean that I don't admire their hustle on a superficial level, even if it is obviously crass and completely lacking in any self-awareness whatsoever. They still manage to find ways to leverage their celebrity into making a shit-ton of money every year, despite the fact that very few people really like or respect them as human beings, and I suspect it's because they're a lot like the girls in school who were popular not because of any inherent personal qualities or even because of their money, but because of the image they projected that made people want to be in their orbit even if they didn't really like them.

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            One can respect a hustle and still see that those chicks are just not people you want to imitate or be around.

            Its like politicians, I never wanted to see a president up close and even when I had to, I still never want to meet one. They choose to be despicable people and I only contact them to yell at them because a few are my "elected representatives".

  8. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Millennials are filling their homes ? and the void in their hearts ? with houseplants

    On Sunday mornings, Hilton Carter's girlfriend makes herself scarce from their one-bedroom apartment in an old Baltimore mill.

    Carter, who is 6-5, bearded and the sort of man who wears a denim shirt and a ball cap with his peach shorts, begins a four-hour grooming ritual.

    Not his own, of course. That would be insane.

    The hours when others are sipping bottomless mimosas, that's when Carter, a 37-year-old artist, feeds and inspects and prunes and otherwise tends to the Great Dane of a fern cascading down above his bed. It's when he "bathes" the tiny air plants perched like tropical bugs on his geometric mirror. This is when he can fuss over the verdant monstera, trademark Swiss-cheese holes in its sprawling leaves, that sways gently in the breeze coming off the Jones Falls River just outside the window.

    There are 180 plants here. This means that every Sunday, there are yellowed leaves to pluck away and toss. Bugs to keep an eye out for. The great existential mysteries of light and air and sun to consider.

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      You know, if I were a millenial, I might chafe at all the passive-aggressive fawning I got in the media.

      1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

        I do think there's something to the idea that Milennials (and to a certain extent, Gen-Xers) are living with a sort of free-floating anxiety due to the lack of strong community, family, and/or social bonds like you would have seen in the past, due to the significant lack of face-to-face interaction with others. So they compensate by filling those spiritual and emotional holes in their lives by replicating superficial Eat Pray Love experiences, or anthropomorphizing their housepets or, in the case of the person in the article, their houseplants.

    2. CE   8 years ago

      Peach shorts? Re-route that robot over here.

  9. Sports Reporter Charles Manson   8 years ago

    And, guys, she's single! Hubba hubba!

    "Written from the perspective of a white-settler, obese, bisexual, middle class cisfemale
    graduate student in Canada, the wedding ritual and bride are explored as sites of
    ideal female/feminine formation of the subject. Compulsory heterosexuality is
    implicated. "Single" and "married," like "woman," are constituted in discourses. The
    author explores ways that she, as an unmarried and therefore "single" woman has been
    positioned as personally deficient as single-ness is produced as an illegitimate and
    undesirable position for female/feminine subjects to take up. This research uses an
    autoethnographic methodological frame augmented by feminist poststructural
    epistemology to open up, trouble, disrupt and interrupt the figuring of the bride in hopes
    of (re)signification and new practices of the female and feminine self for the writer...."

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      unmarried and therefore "single"

      Well that's- i mean, um-

      1. mad.casual   8 years ago

        Exactly.

        Compulsory heterosexuality is implicated.

        Didn't we ban- I mean, um-

    2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

      "I'm a miserable, fat hog and will die alone without a muscle-bound Chad in my life, so everyone else has to be miserable, too."

      1. CatoTheChipper   8 years ago

        The objective of equality doesn't end with income equality and wealth equality. It certainly should apply to sexual satisfaction, social, and romantic outcomes as well. Some aspects of life are far more important than money.

        You better believe that SJWs want you to be miserable.

  10. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Adidas is dropping special yack-resistant 'Oktoberfest' sneakers

    it's a premium shoe, it's made with the finest leather but it also sports a DPBR coating. Now you must be wondering "what is this so called DPBR?" Well it stands for durable puke and beer repellent.

    No this is not a joke, they are actually beer and puke resistant.

    Finally, science does something useful.

  11. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Climate change denial should be a crime

    n August 2016, months after Houston had been hit by the second of two back-to-back "hundred year floods," Mike Talbott, then the head of Houston's flood control district, told The Texas Tribune and ProPublica that he still had no plans to study climate change or its potential impacts on the county ? Harris, the third-largest in the nation ? that he was charged with protecting. Talbott criticized scientists for being "anti-development," and not only ignored but denigrated studies ? even those conducted by his own department, one of which he called "absurd" ? that suggested development was worsening flooding, or that urged him to leave prairies intact to absorb floodwaters. When the Tribune told Talbott that a host of scientific experts had said the contrary, his reply was blunt.

    "You need to find some better experts," he said. When asked for names, the Tribune reported, Talbott would only say, "starting here, with me."

    Almost exactly one year later, Harvey made landfall.

    And here I thought the site was about men in too tight pants.

    1. CE   8 years ago

      But no religious tests, amirite?

  12. colorblindkid   8 years ago

    I'm personally opposed to IVF, surrogacy, and fertility treatments solely for scientific reasons. It's terrible for the human race. We're intentionally passing on genes never meant to be passed on, and each successive generation will have a harder and harder time naturally reproducing. It's a classic sci-fi scenario.

    This doesn't mean I think the government has any right to ban it, though. I'm still a libertarian after all. I just think it's all terrible for humanity in the long run, and we don't talk about that enough. It's not just a silly impossible sci-fi plot.

    1. jcw   8 years ago

      I like how you think Science can't help which genes were "meant" to be passed on. We should just let sick babies die, because their genes weren't meant to be passed on. And women should die in childbirth with no medical help, because their genes were never meant to be passed on to more than 1 child. Idiocracy, am i right?

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        There is a theory there. If you allow people who cannot take care of themselves pass along genes, then you potentially have new generations of people who cannot take care of themselves.

        One could make the argument that going thru all the hurdles to have science help you pass along your genes means you can take care of yourself.

        1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

          There is a theory there. If you allow people who cannot take care of themselves pass along genes, then you potentially have new generations of people who cannot take care of themselves.

          One of the paradoxes of modern science is that it's dramatically extended the lifespans of people with all kinds of health issues who probably would have died off at an early age even as recently as 60 years ago. Even if they don't have kids, the unspoken social issue is that they typically end up acting as a massive resource vacuum to ensure their quality of life isn't completely in the toilet.

          Not saying that we should be practicing eugenics here, but if we're going to provide heroic medical treatments and taxpayer money to support them, then we need to at least acknowledge that it's not being done because they're acting as net contributors to society.

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            Great think about Libertarian governance would be gutting welfare programs and most old people would not necessarily be able to afford extended life in a medicated and pickled state.

            Life expectancy is over-rated.

          2. jcw   8 years ago

            How is it paradoxical that modern science helps people with health issues live longer? Isn't that the whole gosh darn point of it? Maybe you meant that modern science causes more money to be spent and I just missed it?

            Also, I'm not sure how to respond to your final paragraph. Who doesn't acknowledge this fact?

            1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

              The whole point of modern science is to find answers to questions of the Universe.

            2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

              The paradox is that modern science is enabling a society that lionizes human frailty by unnaturally extending lifespans.

              1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

                ^ This.

          3. CE   8 years ago

            So, death panels then?

            1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

              Or just socially shame test tube babies.

              Shaming works as evidenced by SJWs flipping out over banning "hate speech". Much of this "hate speech" is actually just people shaming transtesticles, lefty Nazis, politicians, and socialists. They feel the shaming working, so they want to ban the shaming speech.

      2. mad.casual   8 years ago

        Idiocracy, am i right?

        You know who else's social and ethnic policies Idiocracy, if taken seriously, tacitly supports?

        1. jcw   8 years ago

          Mountain Dew & Gatorade?

        2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Costco?

          1. $park? leftist poser   8 years ago

            I love you.

        3. CE   8 years ago

          Twitter?

      3. Cyto   8 years ago

        Corn genes were never meant to be passed on either, by that measure. Nor were dogs, cows, riice, wheat.... Or any other of a host of domesticated creatures who only exist because of selective breeding by humans.

        1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

          You say that as if you could possibly know how maize could have ended up without humans.

          Furthermore, maize might have become an even better crop had it not been for human interaction with that plant.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            Maize wouldn't exist at all without humans - the ears stay wrapped in the husk so the kernels don't "shock" (i.e. fall off the cob) like other grasses' seeds do, so the plant can only reproduce with intentional human assistance. The reason for this is intensive selective breeding of maize's closest wild ancestor, teosinte, whose ears look nothing like corn.

    2. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

      I don't know if I care much about "humanity in the long run." It's one of those questions that's so beyond our selves and our capacity to predict that I feel arrogant making judgments or thinking I should have an opinion about what ought to happen. Things could be terrible according to some criteria (which future persons may not share with us), or they could be better.

      If humanity technos its way to extinction in the year 3000... big whoop.

    3. CE   8 years ago

      You know who else was concerned about genetic purity?

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        Democrat slave owners?

  13. Rhywun   8 years ago

    Was federal judge nominee Amy Coney Barrett unfairly heckled by Congress over her Catholicism?

    I'm going to heckle The Atlantic for adblock-blocking.

  14. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Was federal judge nominee Amy Coney Barrett unfairly heckled by Congress over her Catholicism?

    You can take the Democrat out of the Klan, but you can't take the Klan out of the Democrat.

  15. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Special education teacher indicted for texting student naked photos of herself on a tanning bed

    A special education teacher in Texas texted naked photos of herself on a tanning bed to a male student and asked him to draw her in the raw, an arrest warrant reveals.

    I'm stealing that move.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Heck, the only modification you'll have to make to your normal move is getting a tanning bed.

    2. mad.casual   8 years ago

      Special education teacher
      ...
      I'm stealing that move.

      OK, before I laugh at any of these jokes, I've gotta know... "special" education teacher or special education teacher?

  16. sarcasmic   8 years ago

    The Trump administration could transform school lunches.

    FTA

    As a result, food is fresher, and more children are being introduced to a wider range of fruits and vegetables and foods prepared from scratch.

    Introduced? Maybe I'm a weirdo (maybe?) but when I take my daughter to the grocery store I often make a point of looking around for something she's never tried before, be it fruit, vegetable, meat, cheese, whatever, and then incorporating it into a meal. Fruit often ends up on crepes, vegetables may be a side or part of a stir fry, meat on the grill usually, and cheese on a cracker. She hasn't been introduced to anything new at school. If anything she introduces other kids (and even teachers) to new things when she shares what I put into her lunch.

    It is the job of parents, not schools, to introduce their kids to new things.

    1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

      Same thing when we eat out. I won't let her order chicken nuggets and fries. She has to try something new.

    2. Rhywun   8 years ago

      Agreed. But a lot of parents don't do their jobs.

      1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

        That's what people tell me. I personally can't understand. Then again my ex wife falls into that group. I still can't understand.

        1. Rhywun   8 years ago

          You probably read to your children and check their homework too SMDH

          1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

            How did you guess? Took me most of a year to read her The Hobbit. I'm wrapping up the last of the Chronicles of Narnia right now. Harry Potter is next. She's too young for homework.

            1. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

              A true libertarian would read The Road to Serfdom to their child.

              1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

                Soon as she's old enough to understand it I plan to. Same with Economics in One Lesson.

            2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

              It took you a year to get through The Hobbit but you are now finishing the Chrinicles of Narnia? Is she going to college next year?

              1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

                Next year she'll be in third grade.

            3. Rhywun   8 years ago

              I'm always a little taken aback by observing some parents in public whose interactions with their kids clearly consist entirely of yelling at them while other parents have long, intelligent conversations with their kids.

              1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

                GODDAMMIT, I know exactly what you are talking about you little genius.

      2. CE   8 years ago

        So Zoltan will revoke their parenting license then.

    3. Zeb   8 years ago

      Well, you know about food and know how to cook. It often amazes me how little some people know about those things.

      1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

        Yeah. I couldn't imagine being dependent on others to cook. That's mind boggling expensive to me.

    4. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

      It is the job of parents, not schools, to introduce their kids to new things

      Well, sure, but it's also the job of the parents, not the schools, to feed their kids in the first place. But since more and more of them are abdicating themselves of that responsibility, the government is having to look at providing food other than the typical lunch-lady slop they've served for decades because it's easier to teach kids when they're not hungry.

      1. sarcasmic   8 years ago

        A lot of people in my daughter's school and in other settings keep telling me how exceptional I am and I don't get it. I'm just doing what needs to be done for my child. These people tell me I am unusual. I guess they would know. Kinda makes me sad. I thought I was normal.

        1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

          As recently as 20 years ago you were normal. Now you're an outlier because you're practicing the basic responsibility of feeding your own child rather than demanding that the government do it for you.

      2. mattcid   8 years ago

        Where I live school lunches only exist for the kickbacks and are only served to refugee kids who don't care for American food in the first place. That said it would be nice to roll back some of the Obama policies so the food is edible again.

  17. Sports Reporter Charles Manson   8 years ago

    This thing with the robots works both ways. Humans can tell if a robot (like C3PO) is gay.

  18. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Andrew Cuomo's Boondocks Boondoggle

    To mark the end of summer, New York's governor is barbecuing $10 million in public funding as the state's contribution toward construction of a comedy museum in Jamestown, N.Y. Jamestown? It's a place of "empty storefronts and underused buildings," according to the New York Times. It's three hours west of Ithaca. Three hours north of Pittsburgh. Six and a half hours northwest of Manhattan. Home to some 31,000 souls, it doesn't exactly scream "arts capital." There's a reason the most popular museums tend to be concentrated in cities rather than scattered randomly in rural areas, hamlets, and deserted islands: One museum, especially one small museum, isn't usually enough to make tourists to go much out of their way. Especially a museum that proposes to offer stuff few want to see in the first place.

    Cuomo 2020!

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      His considerable charm will take the nation's breath away.

    2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

      The comedic arts connection is that it was Lucille Ball's hometown.

      1. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

        It's also the birthplace of 10,000 Maniacs.

      2. Rhywun   8 years ago

        I ate at a diner there once.

        That's all I've got.

    3. geo1113   8 years ago

      Going from Boston to Ithaca is bad enough, but another 3 hours west...holy shit!!!

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        It's less than an hour south of Buffalo, FWIW.

        1. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

          Apparrently Buffalo is chopped liver to the person who wrote the article.

  19. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Due to the current weather situation in Florida and other potentially impacted areas, along with the ongoing recovery in Texas, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) had already reviewed all upcoming operations and has adjusted accordingly. There is currently no coordinated nationwide operation planned at this time.

    See? Global Warming weather can be an ally to the social justice initiative.

  20. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Wife of Trump Organization Ethics Lawyer Arrested After Alleged Tryst With Inmate

    Teresa Jo Burchfield, 53, was outside Virginia's Fauquier County Adult Detention Center when deputies charged her with a crime of her own. Burchfield and an unnamed 23-year-old inmate were spotted in the backseat of a car, along with a bag of pills and other contraband items that Burchfield had allegedly given the inmate. Burchfield's husband, Bobby Burchfield, is an ethics advisor to the Donald J. Trump Revocable Trust, an entity intended to keep Trump's business and political ties separate.

    Trump employs literal cucks.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Fauquier County, huh. Fact: outside of Warrenton, the primary form of employment in Fauquier County is pissing into empties.

  21. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Robots know whether you're gay or straight.

    So they've automated the job of IMDb message board commenter.

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      I love all the backpedaling from the researchers. In the long run this sounds like good news to me.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

        Robo-outing.

  22. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Striking model proudly flaunts her jet-black unibrow to tens of thousands of Instagram fans, as she urges others to ignore society's narrow views of beauty

    Sophia Hadjipanteli, a model and marketing student at the University of Maryland, proudly shows off her jet-black unibrow on Instagram ? and she couldn't care less about the negative comments she receives about her unconventional look.

    'I am not really doing this to show people that they have to like [my unibrow],' she told Harper's Bazaar. 'I am more so doing it to show people that they can get on with their lives by having a preference.'

    Anthony Davis did it first, toots.

    1. lap83   8 years ago

      a planet where apes evolved from models?

    2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      So brave.

      1. mad.casual   8 years ago

        Do you ever think they'll get to a point where they're like "Oh! *This* is what those people meant when they didn't care about [insert social justice identity trend]."?

    3. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

      However, the natural blonde admitted the striking appearance of her brows was enhanced when she tried tinting them and accidentally dyed them black.

      "My wolfman look is totally natural, guys!"

  23. Sports Reporter Charles Manson   8 years ago

    Thieves steal your car? Who ya gonna call?

    The doctor!

    Which doctor?

    Yes.

    1. CE   8 years ago

      Dude, where's my car?

  24. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Hurricanes are raining on Homeland Security's parade.

    The roundups, which ICE dubbed Operation Mega, were to be aimed at "gang members or perpetrators of serious crimes," but an official who spoke to NBC said that other immigrants could end up as "collateral."

    Was Operation Fuck Yeah already taken?

  25. DJF   8 years ago

    Time to pull back US military to the US, its too expensive and even with the expense they can't even train it properly. The US used to pretend it could fight two wars at one time, then it was 1 1/2 wars, they then said they had enough to nation build, now they can't even operate in peace time

    """""The U.S. Government Accountability Office is set to testify Thursday that nearly 40 percent of the Japan-based cruisers and destroyers were operating without valid warfare certifications.""""

    https://tinyurl.com/y7o8koza

    http://preview.tinyurl.com/y7o8koza

  26. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    The Trump administration could transform school lunches.

    People are fat and stupid, so other fat people who claim to be less stupid need to tell the fat children of fat parents what to put into their fat bodies, which, because the fat people who claim to be less stupid usually aren't less stupid, will only make the fat kids fatter.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Yes.

    2. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

      Phat.

  27. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

    Was federal judge nominee Amy Coney Barrett unfairly heckled by Congress over her Catholicism?
    Jesus Christ!

  28. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

    Texting someone under 18 is now sex trafficking.
    Texting someone over 18 is now boring.

  29. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Sex trafficking bill imposes hefty charge on johns

    - As the number of local cases of sex trafficking grows, state lawmakers are weighing a new way to combat the problem: money.
    New legislation in Madison would create a hefty surcharge for convicted traffickers. The money would be used to help victims and fund future police operations.

    Oh boy.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      The money would be used to help victims and fund future police operations.

      Since "helping victims" invariably seems to mean putting them in jail, that's a two-birds-one-stone proposition.

      1. mad.casual   8 years ago

        that's a two-birds-one-stone proposition.

        That's actually a pretty good rate.

    2. CE   8 years ago

      The money would be used to help victims and fund future police operations.

      Gotta have something to replace that lost drug war revenue, what with MJ being legalized everywhere.

  30. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

    OT: Leftist war on language continues apace.

    "Emanuel spoke as Chicago Public Schools marked the first day of classes Tuesday," AP reported. "The mayor told students at Solorio Academy High School they 'are welcome in the city of Chicago.' The Chicago Sun-Times reports that school officials say about a third of the school's students are undocumented citizens. Emanuel said Chicago schools "will be a Trump-free zone."

    Normally AP refers to illegal aliens ? which is the legally correct term ? as "undocumented immigrants."

    AP recently came under fire after they released their 2017 AP Stylebook which cracked down on conservative terminology and promoted terminology that is favored by liberals.

    I have no problem with "undocumented" because it is accurate, but to be a "citizen" actually means something and they are now diluting the term for being a legal resident of a country. Example 1276 of why leftists have no shame.

    1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

      Great thing about these hurricanes, is ICE can move on up to Chicago and nab up some more illegally undocumented non-citizens.

    2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

      Minitru never rests in perfecting Newspeak.

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        Phil Collins hardest hit.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Wait a minute. Is that what "sususudio" means?

          1. Rhywun   8 years ago

            You don't want to know what "sususudio" means.

            1. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

              I thought it meant "baggy suits and hilarious hair."

          2. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            Ah, I've just got to have her, have her now
            I've got to get closer but I don't know how
            She makes me nervous and makes me scared
            But I feel so good if I just say the word ???

    3. lap83   8 years ago

      I have no problem with "undocumented" because it is accurate, but to be a "citizen" actually means something and they are now diluting the term for being a legal resident of a country.

      Non-taxpaying Voter just doesn't have the same ring to it

      1. Zeb   8 years ago

        Has Chicago got school children voting now too?

        1. lap83   8 years ago

          don't give them ideas

        2. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

          Only dead school children vote in Chicago, silly.

    4. Rhywun   8 years ago

      Yeah, AP has taken a noticeable lurch in the last year or two.

    5. Zeb   8 years ago

      And "undocumented citizens" are something that actually exists and is quite distinct from undocumented immigrants.

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        Yup every baby born in US territory is an undocumented natural born citizen.

        1. Zeb   8 years ago

          And some even continue being undocumented. I've met at least one person born in the US who has no birth certificate or SSN.

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            I don't have a SSN.

            I have a tax Identification number only and will never pay into nor receive social security.

    6. CE   8 years ago

      If they have a driver's license and a fake SSN, they aren't technically "undocumented".

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        They are illegal undocumented non-Americans though.

    7. mad.casual   8 years ago

      "will be a Trump-free zone."

      Where are all the ardent pro-individualist/anti-collectivists at?

      Probably the same place they go after they're done shouting about how Trump wants to put people in cattle cars and people are talking about how minimum wage laws simultaneously attract low-wage workers to the country/region *and* prices local/regional/native low-wage workers out of a job.

      Remember when the mayor of Berlin declared it to be a Hitler-free zone? That's what this feels like.

  31. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

    Hurricanes are raining on Homeland Security's parade.
    Government bureaucrats hope that you need some kind of benefit someday and enter those tracking numbers given at birth or in this case stolen from some American.

  32. lap83   8 years ago

    Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that they're using a surrogate to carry their third child, so expect a national debate on surrogacy ethics and regulation soon.

    Fortunately the debate will exist solely on Twitter so easy to avoid

    1. Ken Shultz   8 years ago

      Yeah, those two driving the policy debate? Not in my world.

      Even on Twitter, aren't those two pretty much old news?

      1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

        Check out the trends old man.
        Trends in the USA

        1. Ken Shultz   8 years ago

          I don't see Kim and Kayne West anywhere on those lists.

          . . . not that something trending on Twitter (or not) is necessarily indicative of anything but Twitter trends.

          From your link, it looks to me like those two are old news even on Twitter. If they're trending anywhere on Twitter, I guess it's somewhere down the shitter.

          Apparently, people on Twitter don't even give a shit.

    2. creech   8 years ago

      So brave and so worthy of public adulation.
      Like the fawning over Diana at the latest anniversary of her death. One could walk into any hospital in America and find ten volunteers who are more genuinely giving of their time and money than the royal twit did. Hey, fly me around the world first class, give me designer clothes and posh accommodations, and I'll gladly walk through hospital wards and pat sick kids on the head.

    3. Africanis   8 years ago

      Kanye has told Kim that he has to impregnate the woman naturally as the who scientific approach could cause complications.

  33. Sevo   8 years ago

    "Wisconsin is considering whether to impose $5,000 fines on anyone caught soliciting prostitution."

    So, after thousands of years, some state in the midwest of the US has finally figured out how to outlaw prostitution!
    Imagine my relief.

  34. $park? leftist poser   8 years ago

    Texting someone under 18 and telling them you can hook them up with someone who will pay them for sex is now sex trafficking.

    FTFY, Lizzie.

    It's still stupid, but so is not providing context.

  35. Crusty Juggler - Lawbertarian   8 years ago

    Was federal judge nominee Amy Coney Barrett unfairly heckled by Congress over her Catholicism?

    "The dogma lives loudly within you," Feinstein said. "And that's of concern when you come to big issues that large numbers of people have fought for for years in this country."

    The dogma lives loudly within you?

    1. Sports Reporter Charles Manson   8 years ago

      Barrett said Catholic judges should recuse themselves from death penalty cases if their religious views on the death penalty clashed with the positive law.

      Maybe progressive judges could give assurances that they'll similarly recuse themselves if their progressive ideology and the Constitution come into conflict?

    2. Rhywun   8 years ago

      Yes. Only loud, parasitic dogma can cause someone to be anti-abortion.

  36. Africanis   8 years ago

    What we need is Robot prostitute ice aliens to round up illegal aliens. They will lure the illegal with the free sex and then boom boom boom Nancy Pelosi style they find themselves handcuffed to a headboard.

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      What we need is Robot prostitute ice aliens to round up illegal aliens.

      I saw that Doctor Who.

    2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      boom boom boom Nancy Pelosi style

      [vomits]

  37. Idle Hands   8 years ago

    Lena Dunham?Verified account @lenadunham 18h18 hours ago
    More
    I'm horny for baseball players! Wow!
    150 replies 203 retweets 1,259 likes
    Reply 150 Retweet 203 Like 1.3K

    Lenny Dykstra?Verified account
    @LennyDykstra
    Follow
    More
    Replying to @lenadunham
    DM me.

  38. CE   8 years ago

    Idiocracy -- avante garde film on sociological trends, or documentary?

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