Pence Denies Report About 2020 Run, Chicago to Sue DOJ, IED Blast at Minnesota Islamic Center: A.M. Links

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  • NASA

    Vice President Mike Pence denied a New York Times report that he was eyeing a run for president in 2020.

  • The city of Chicago says it will sue the Department of Justice over federal grant stipulations related to assisting federal immigration enforcement.
  • The FBI says an improvised explosive device was responsible for an explosion at an Islamic center in Minnesota.
  • One person was killed and seven were injured after a ride at the Ohio state fair fell apart while in motion.
  • The government of Venezuela says one of its bases suffered a paramilitary attack.
  • Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.

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  1. Vice President Mike Pence denied a New York Times report that he was eyeing a run for president in 2020.

    AS THE INCUMBENT

    1. Hello.

      “Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.”

      I just know there’s a joke in there somewhere.

      I can feel it.

      1. You know who else was photographed with making a Nazi salute?

        1. Anyone with poor timing and pointing up towards the sky awkwardly?

        2. Walt Disney?

      2. Heir Hitrer?

        1. I thought at first that was a typo for Herr. Well done!

      3. One, how did they find the Nazi, and two, how did they make him salute?

  2. Vice President Mike Pence denied a New York Times report that he was eyeing a run for president in 2020.

    Having seen up close how the sausage is made, the man is now a vegetarian.

    1. We’re still doing euphemisms?

      1. Only if they have some reference to woodchippers …

  3. One person was killed and seven were injured after a ride at the Ohio state fair fell apart while in motion.

    That ride? A pedicab driven by Warty.

    1. I think this happened a while ago.

  4. Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.

    You just do a Mao salute right back, Germany.

    1. me-ao! claws in, cat.

      1. Gato. Over there it’s called a gato.

        1. Gato is not German for cat, you’re thinking of Polish. German for cat is scharfen gekleidetermann.

          1. “WHAAAAAT, YOU DONT KNOW THE TALE OF THE SCHARFEN GEKLEIDETERMANN?!?!?”

        2. In Chiiiiiina, “Gato” is what’s for dinner.

  5. Vice President Mike Pence denied a New York Times report that he was eyeing a run for president in 2020.

    He’s ‘earing he has a chance at handily winning though.

    1. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

  6. The government of Venezuela says one of its bases suffered a paramilitary attack.

    I guess a purge is coming.

    1. Erdogan taught Maduro well.

  7. Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.

    Cultural Inappropriation

    1. *squints*looks around*shrugs*claps*

      1. Glad you used squints, because Slants is trademarked.

  8. The city of Chicago says it will sue the Department of Justice over federal grant stipulations related to assisting federal immigration enforcement.

    Chicago is indignant that the federal teat would suddenly come with strings.

    1. Yeah, don’t see where they expect this to go for them. How does that broke-ass city have the money to even file a suit?

      Federal funds ALWAYS have strings attached. And if the money is for law enforcement specifically, a demand that one enforces laws doesn’t seem unreasonable.

  9. No way there isn’t a primary challenge to Trump if he lasts that long. I wonder who it will be, though.

    1. The Republican party being ineducable, probably Mitt Romney.

    2. McMullin at the very least

      1. No, McMuffin will be the Libertarian Party nominee. Im guess he could run in the GOP primary and switch for the general.

        1. No, McCain will be the Libertarian candidate. Him or Flake.

          1. I thought the Libertarian Party ran a flake last time …

            Ba-dum-pa!

            I’ll be here all week, folks, don’t forget to try your waitress and tip the veal!

      2. Macaulay Culkin

    3. McCains tumor?

    4. Bernie Sanders again. My money’s on Trump switching parties before this is all over.

      1. Trump – Libertarian Party leader

    5. I wonder who it will be, though.

      My guess: a true politician promising to give America back it’s dignity.

    6. There won’t be a serious challenge. Team Players love having their Team in charge, even if they don’t like the guy in the office. Oh sure, McMuffin or David French or somebody could run a protest campaign, but they won’t pull more than 10 percent in the primary.

  10. The FBI says an improvised explosive device was responsible for an explosion at an Islamic center in Indiana.

    So to combat it they spun up another child pornography server.

    1. Responsible?

      So now we have improvised explosive devices being responsible?

      1. If you can blame guns, you can blame explosives.

  11. The police boycott of Dunkin’ Donuts is fully on

    The brew-haha began Friday when a worker at a Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin-Robbins at 1993 Atlantic Ave. in Bedford-Stuyvesant refused to scoop ice cream for two 73rd Precinct detectives ? allegedly because they were cops.

    Police union heads called for a boycott of the national chain, and the movement has since percolated throughout the department.

    Asked for directions to a Dunkin’ Donuts on Sunday, a cop patrolling Union Square said, “I’m not allowed to do that.”

    Is there is a bigger bunch of whiney bitches?

    1. “Asked for directions to a Dunkin’ Donuts on Sunday, a cop patrolling Union Square said, “I’m not allowed to do that.””

      Fucken babies.

      1. Another thing they have in common with babies is that they get away with violence whenever they don’t get what they want.

    2. Why would they boycott an entire chain because one worker is a douchebag? It’s not like Dunkin’ instituted a policy.

      1. Because, as has happened in the past, this brings negative attention to the chain who will now go out of their way to show how cop-friendly they are by giving cops everything for free.

    3. I predict a very good couple of weeks for the chains, as usually happens when politically charged interest groups boycott businesses.

    4. I like how it takes the Post 5 writers to repeat a story from
      a day earlier that has more lolworthy detail and only took 3 writers to compose.

  12. Is YOUR vagina saying yes? Sex expert claims her VERY unconventional methods can help women seduce any man they want (and it all starts with unlocking your ‘p***y power’)

    Louise says: ‘A woman really needs to know what’s right for her and her way of checking that is feeling what’s going on with her body. What does her body want?

    ‘Not what her mind is telling her is the best thing, not what would her partner like from her ? what does she want? She can feel that way when she feels into her vagina.’

    She is stealing from my male self-published ebook, Check Her With Your Pecker.

    1. Is this modern feminism or anti-feminism. I can’t tell.

    2. I think this was a really convoluted way of saying that you should trust your feelings instead of logic? It was too hard to follow.

      1. Basically this, but phrased in such a way as to sell books.

    3. I’m confused here. *Seducing* a man isn’t hard – ‘hey, want to have sex?’ ‘Why yes, yes I would.’ Done.

      *Keeping him around* after? That’s the difficult part.

      1. You having trouble keeping a man, Agammamon?

      2. Maybe they’re trying to seduce priests and men with families? Classy

  13. What’s worse than social media? The Lena Dunham Approach to Twitter Call-Outs

    Writing about social media.

    1. This was a good read. I love seeing the words “ignorant” and “educate” pop up on social media. The person posting thinks they are obviously exponentially smarter than whoever they are arguing with, but they still aren’t bright enough to have figured out that compulsory education doesn’t really change people’s minds on the issue.

    2. I have noticed recently that ? of journalism these days seems to be reporting on twitter drama. It’s usually their own twitter drama.

      1. Meant to say “90 percent”

  14. Bloominton Minnesota — not Indiana.

  15. A teacher who had sex with a student and said she was the victim has a porno on the internet now

    “The student twisted my brain into accepting this relationship. He did so with such intelligence and such an elevated vocabulary that I was completely duped by the whole facade,” she said during an interview on “Dr. Phil.” “Many people see him as the victim and me as the perpetrator. From a psychological standpoint and from every other standpoint, I feel like I am the victim.”

    “He did burn my life to the ground,” she added.

    Haglin has since gone from teacher to jail for 90 days, to working as a stripper named “Bambi” and, finally, working in the porn industry.

    I like her.

    1. I grade the video: A B for Boooorrrrrrrrrrrring!

      Also, the child was a victim, because someone who participates in lackadaisical pornography is obviously a monster. Lock that bitch back up!

    2. Hard to view women as equals when underage boys can make women go from teachers to porn stars.

      At a certain point, either women have autonomy over their actions or they don’t.

      1. It’s not hard at all, actually.

        1. So that’s a solid thumb’s-down on the video?

          1. “Wait a minute, three thumbs down?”

            “That one’s not a thumb.”

        2. sounds like a personal problem

  16. How Leslie Knope Became Conservatives’ Favorite Example of Liberal Ineptitude

    There is a vocal contingent of (mostly) conservative media figures who feel very, very strongly that Leslie Knope, the plucky hero of the late NBC sitcom “Parks and Recreation,” was a terrible person and politician.

    She was.

    Unsurprisingly, conservative media outlets appear to love Swanson as passionately as they dislike Knope.

    Duh doy.

    This is the stupidest story in the history of ever times infinity times a million, so be warned.

    1. Additionally, Fist is Reason’s “plucky hero.”

    2. Seriously, how was she not a terrible person? She was a bully.

      1. She’s also manipulative, uncompromising, oblivious to how her actions affect other people, unable to accept alternatives to her vision of how the world should be, and unwilling to leave people alone, ever. And, of course, she winds up a runaway political success.

        I’m telling you, Parks and Rec is actually a horror story.

        1. One thing I found interesting about her is they repeatedly attempt to show her as very thoughtful of others. But the way she does it is very competitive, and the idea that others might be more thoughtful in certain situations is very uncomfortable to her.

          Everything involving her gift giving is like this. And even though it is shown as positive, in real life that’s a form of psychological abuse. It’s amazing if they weren’t aware of what they were doing, because they really did lay down a nightmare politician.

          Good show though. I liked it.

    3. Ron Swanson spends seven seasons being right about basically everything, and then in the finale Leslie Knope completely co-opts him into the federal Parks Service bureaucracy. It’s actually kind of horrifying. Swanson in a ranger uniform is television’s take on Winston Smith “realizing” he loves Big Brother.

    4. Of course it’s prompted by a Sonny Bunch tweet.

      Knowing Leslie Knope, she would relish the idea of conservatives using her as a scapegoat for the evils of liberalism. It would probably fuel her relentless optimism even more.

      #ThisIsWhyTrumpWon

    5. Well duh! The underlying structure of the whole series was that the well meaning poseurs are inept, while the wrongthinkniks who want to shut down the government manage to get things done. Otherwise the series would be a bad clone of West Wings (success through correct thoughts). It’s the juxtoposition of the opposites that make it funny.

    6. Knope was incompetent and that helped promote her through the ranks of politicians so, ultimately, pretty realistic except for the part where she had good intentions.

  17. New Chief of Staff Kelly Moves Quickly to Tame Trump’s Tweets

    Trump resisted attempts by Kelly’s predecessor, Reince Priebus, to stop White House staffers from popping in unannounced to see the president — dropping news articles on his desk that he would love or hate, sharing ideas for tweets, or just getting valuable face time with the boss. Trump, who’s known to be easily distracted, would wave in the visitors, even as his scheduled appointments sometimes backed up.

    Kelly has insisted that anyone who wants to see the president must now go through him.

    While Kelly isn’t vetting every presidential tweet, Trump has shown a willingness to consult with his chief of staff before hitting “send” on certain missives that might cause an international uproar or lead to unwelcome distractions, according to three people familiar with the interactions. Kelly has been “offering a different way to say the same thing,” one person said

    1. I wonder how many of these unannounced Trump visitors are just trolling him to see what reaction it will provoke.

      “Look Mr. President! Syrian refugees are invading Arizona through our porous southern border! It says so right here on Breitbart!”

      (teehee)

  18. Trump is our first kayfabe president.

    1. ^this makes sense.

  19. I heard somebody say Pence was not the sort of person who would have a plan to run in 2020 because he’s not a political animal and he’s not ambitious. Which is nonsense, but also suggests he’s an idiot who doesn’t understand his whole damn job is nothing but being a contingency plan. Reminds me of that flap a while back where some jackass “discovered” that the Pentagon has contingency plans for invading Canada. Well, yes, the Pentagon’s got contingency plans for all kinds of scenarios – it’s called being prepared for the unexpected. If Pence doesn’t have some sort of plan for if Trump drops dead of a stroke tomorrow or next month or next year, he’s an idiot.

    1. If Pence doesn’t have some sort of plan for if Trump drops dead of a stroke tomorrow or next month or next year, he’s an idiot.

      In his defense I don’t think Trump himself has a proper plan (nationally and, possibly, personally) for if he drops dead of a stroke tomorrow (See Clinton Foundation). Even if he has a plan, I wouldn’t believe it. Also, even if he has a plan, and I believe it, I expect it’s approval and/or implementation to be exceedingly low/poor.

      I like to think Pence is furiously scrutinizing the movie Dave and trying to crack the @realDonalTrump password.

    2. There’s really nothing for Pence to have a plan for.

      Trump drops dead tomorrow and Pence sleeps in late, how is anything going to get worse? It won’t. Most likely it will get better as nothing good comes out of the Executive. See: 15 years of continual war in response to a ‘crisis’. See: Mobile homes purchased by the government specifically for housing disaster refugees being declared unfit for habitation because someone detected some Radon in them, semi’s full of ice being shipped to the other side of the country to melt, and trucks full of food being stopped at the edge of the zone while people go hungry – all just to ‘maintain control’.

  20. Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.

    And how many Germans have been arrested in China after making a joke and then going pee-pee in a Coke? Huh? Where is that coverage?

  21. Two Chinese tourists were detained in Germany after photographing themselves making a Nazi salute.

    Germans have no sense of humor.

  22. “Google engineer’s essay assailing diversity sparks blacklash”
    […]
    “The essay, reported by Motherboard and posted by Gizmodo, was posted on an internal Google forum by a male software engineer and titled “Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber.”
    […]
    Danielle Brown, the company’s new vice president of diversity, integrity and governance, said the essay “advanced incorrect assumptions about gender.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/business…..738414.php

    Which assumptions will be “corrected” in a self-criticism session. Or several, if that’s what it takes

    1. I read that thing on Gizmodo (an “anti-diversity screed”, as they called it) and the guy pretty much nailed it, as proven by the very reply from the diversity officer – basically “if you mention extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken”.

      “Diversity simply for the sake of diversity is not necessarily a good thing, diversity should be a means to an end” is at least an arguable point, except at Google you’re not allowed to say that because Google welcomes open discussion of any and all viewpoints.

    2. Gotta love which quotes they list out of context of the original document. That type of selective reading is pretty much exactly the kind of thing I’d expect from a Diversity officer and the San Francisco press.

    3. You would know about echo chambers.

      1. Tony|8.7.17 @ 11:42AM|#
        “You would know about echo chambers.”

        Yeah, you ignorant piece of shi, nobody here ever disagrees with each other.

    4. “The most important question we should be asking of leaders at Google and that they should be asking of themselves is this: Why is the environment at Google such that racists and sexists feel supported and safe in sharing these views in the company?”

      OK Google, why is your company full of sexist racists?

      1. The new when did you stop beating your wife.

      2. I was going to post that as well. It’s interesting that her response to an article discussing how people fear to speak their mind is to question how people dare to voice unsupported views.

        1. It makes me sad that two people missed the obvious joke. 🙁

    5. This shit drives me nuts.

      The essay was anonymous because the writer probably feared retaliation if he used his name.

      And the response from the “diversity officer” proved that fear justified.

      The diversity police seek diversity in ways that are totally orthogonal to the job at hand.

      “We’ll code an awesome app if our team has a good mix of skin tones and genitalia!”

    1. We all have our crosses to bear, Crusty.

  23. I know the odds of anything bad happening are low, but I am, in my old age, nonetheless willing to sacrifice the pleasure of fair rides manned by toothless alcoholics, just in case.

    1. Tony has other, less-savory uses for toothless carnies.

      1. It’s only fair to give them rides.

    2. toothless alcoholics

      Shows what you know you Coastal elitist prick! This was a State Fair, these carnies have most of their teeth and are mostly sober during “work hours”.

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