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Millennials and Gen X Out-Vote Boomers, DOJ Wants to Investigate Affirmative Action, Peanut Butter Spurs Jail Break in Alabama: A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 8.2.2017 9:00 AM

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  • Kiko Jimenez Westend61/Newscom

    ICE raids in late July led to the arrest of 650 people, including 38 children; only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

  • Out with the olds, in with the … somewhat less olds. A new report from the Pew Research Center shows that during the 2016 election, millennial and Gen X voters outnumbered boomers and seniors 69.6 million to 67.9 million.
  • The Department of Justice is considering an initiative to focus on "investigations and possible litigation related to intentional race-based discrimination in college and university admissions."
  • "The inmates took advantage of a new guard by using peanut butter to conceal an exit door number," according to the sheriff's office in Walker County, Alabama Sheriff's. Twelve inmates escaped but have all been caught.
  • Jordan may finally ditch its law allowing rapists to escape punishment if they marry their victims.
  • It's "National John Suppression Initiative" time again, folks. Protect and serve, or something.
  • The battle over whether to destroy the internet in the name of stopping sex ads is heating up…
  • Alan Greenspan is warning about a bond-market bubble. When it "collapses, long-term interest rates will rise," Greenspan told Bloomberg. "We are moving into a different phase of the economy—to a stagflation not seen since the 1970s."

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NEXT: Brickbat: Another Brick in the Wall

Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    ICE raids in late July led to the arrest of 650 people, including 38 children; only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

    Pretty good batting average, I'd say!

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      What is Reason insinuating here? That if a person is arrested for a crime, but has no "criminal history", they should be let go?

      1. Zeb   8 years ago

        Unlawful presence in the country is not a crime, but a civil matter. So unless they were arrested crossing the border illegally, they weren't arrested for a crime.

        1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

          Arrested implies a crime, or no?
          I'm not trained in the law, are torts usually enforced through arrest?

          1. Rhywun   8 years ago

            "Arrested" can be just holding for questioning - cops can arrest anyone at anytime for anything.

          2. Zeb   8 years ago

            No, people get arrested without being charged with a crime all the time.

            I just looked it up to make sure I wasn't full of shit. But while crossing the border illegally is a crime, being in the country without proper visas or authorization is a civil infraction. So they have no more criminal history than someone with a speeding ticket if that's their only offense. Not everything that is illegal is criminal.

            1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

              I did not know that.

              (best if read in a Johnny Carson voice)

              Also, in reply to Rhywun and Zeb:
              I thought an arrest was accompanied by some allegation (example: You're under arrest for robbery) even if that isn't the official "charging" which comes later via the prosecutor.
              For example, I don't believe a person can be arrested for just "anything".
              Isn't "detained" a term used for holding someone for question, etc.?

              1. Zeb   8 years ago

                Strictly speaking, any time you are not "free to go" you are under arrest.

                I'm not sure how unusual immigration violations are as a civil offense that you can be arrested for. But it would be pretty hard to deport people without arresting them.

              2. paranoid android   8 years ago

                Also, in reply to Rhywun and Zeb:
                I thought an arrest was accompanied by some allegation (example: You're under arrest for robbery) even if that isn't the official "charging" which comes later via the prosecutor.
                For example, I don't believe a person can be arrested for just "anything".
                Isn't "detained" a term used for holding someone for question, etc.?

                I know people who have been arrested and subsequently charged only with "resisting arrest". Ponder that for a moment.

                1. Vernon Depner   8 years ago

                  The legal equivalent of an M.C. Escher painting.

            2. Careless   8 years ago

              Entering the country on a fraudulent visa, such as one obtained claiming to be here temporarily but intending to stay, is visa fraud, and criminal. So essentially all illegals committed a crime entering the country.

              1. Zeb   8 years ago

                That assumes that they intended to overstay when they first entered. Which is not always the case. And very difficult to prove. Where any of these people charged with visa fraud?

            3. Ron   8 years ago

              However if you do not deal with the speeding ticket you will be arrested, I assume the same could be said for not dealing with being an illegal. If a person robs a bank they committed a crime do we not arrest people after the fact or only while committing the crime?

              That said, logic is not always a part of our laws

              1. Zeb   8 years ago

                I like the principle that actual evidence is required to convict someone of a crime, not just logic. Yeah, it is reasonable to assume that lots of illegal aliens did commit the crime of illegal border crossing. But if you can't specifically prove it in a given case, you can't, for legal purposes, assume that it happened.

                1. BYODB   8 years ago

                  Simply put, the fact they are here at all is evidence of the crime of illegal border crossing. It doesn't matter if they teleported from Mexico to the United States, it's still an illegal border crossing.

                  As shitty as it might be there will be a record of you in a system somewhere in the United States if you're 'allowed' to be here, citizen or otherwise. If you have no record, well you're not allowed to be here. This is just as true of a citizen as anyone else, surprisingly.

                  We can all blame FDR for that little gem.

                  For the record, my fianc?e's brother was actually born on a little atoll or something off the coast of Florida while camping. He was very nearly declared a non-citizen since it was assumed he must have been a Cuban baby. The only reason he was allowed to be declared a citizen at all was because of medical records of the pregnancy back in Texas. (Another fun fact, the place he was born was literally erased from existence by Hurricane Andrew.)

                  Yup.

                  1. Zeb   8 years ago

                    That's kind of fucked up. I've actually wondered on several occasions what happens to someone born in the US if their parents never bother to get a birth certificate or any other official record of their birth. According to the constitution, they are US citizens.

                    Simply put, the fact they are here at all is evidence of the crime of illegal border crossing.

                    Odds are pretty good that that is true. But it's not proof beyond a reasonable doubt, necessarily. Maybe I'm being too particular here, but it's also possible that they overstayed a visa. Which could be visa fraud, but they could also have intended to only stay as long as permitted, but stayed longer for some reason or other. I know at least one immigrant who did exactly that. Never illegally crossed a border.

                    1. TW   8 years ago

                      Whether they entered the country illegally or entered legally but illegally overstayed their visa, they still get deported.

                    2. BYODB   8 years ago


                      Odds are pretty good that that is true.

                      No, it is true. If you cross the border legally there is a record and that is a fact.

                      In your example of a VISA holder who overstayed their welcome, again, there is a record of their legal entry into the United States.

                      Every legal entry into the United States is essentially stamped and recorded. Period.

                    3. Zeb   8 years ago

                      You said their being here was evidence of an illegal crossing. That's what I was responding to. I'm not questioning the fact that there will be a record of a legal crossing.

            4. Rat on a train   8 years ago

              Speeding is a misdemeanor in some states.

              1. Zeb   8 years ago

                Any speeding, or just "aggravated speeding" or whatever they call it when you are way over the limit? Which states?

          3. Agammamon   8 years ago

            You can get arrested for speeding - sure the cop will let you go after you sign the ticket but you've still been arrested and speeding is a civil infraction in almost all jurisdictions.

        2. Mmmmmm   8 years ago

          "Unlawful presence in the country is not a crime, but a civil matter."

          This is wrong.

          1. Zeb   8 years ago

            Not according to several sources I find with Google. This seems like a pretty unbiased one:

            http://blogs.findlaw.com/blott.....sence.html

            Do you have anything to support your assertion?

  2. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    A new report from the Pew Research Center shows that during the 2016 election, millennial and Gen X voters outnumbered boomers and seniors 69.6 million to 67.9 million.

    And that's how Donald Trump became president!

    1. BYODB   8 years ago

      Or it explains how Bernie wasn't laughed out of the DNC. Not really sure I have any faith left in Pew or any other polling company after they've been shown to be way off base pretty much all the time now, though.

      1. Utilitarian   7 years ago

        The problem isn't raw data. It's the assumptions pollsters make about the electorate in an effort to predict the outcome of the election that is the problem.

  3. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

    only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

    Including, oddly, all of the children.

    1. NoVaNick   8 years ago

      Not that I support these ICE raids, but a child could be anyone under 18 here. 16 and 17 year olds certainly can and do commit crimes.

      1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

        Hell, I killed my first man when I was 11. It can go quite low.

      2. TW   8 years ago

        The fact that the article said "children" rather than "minors" or "minors under the age of ____" leads me to think that most of them are probably older teenagers (possibly 18-19 years old). Regardless though, if they are in the country illegally, they should be sent back to their country of origin.

  4. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    The Department of Justice is considering an initiative to focus on "investigations and possible litigation related to intentional race-based discrimination in college and university admissions."

    Dear colleagues, your world is about to be rocked.

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Battle of the Racists!

    2. Rhywun   8 years ago

      The Justice Department's civil rights division is preparing to look into and possibly sue universities whose affirmative action admissions policies could be deemed discriminatory against white applicants, The New York Times reported Tuesday.
      [...]
      According to the Times report, the memo does not list any specific group of college applicants could be at risk of discrimination.

      Is it just me or are these two statements at odds with each other?

      1. KerryW   8 years ago

        Not necessarily -- the comment about white applicants is the NYT description, while the memo itself presumably makes no such distinction. (Just spit-balling here, I didn't read the article or the memo.) Just the NYT reporting through blue-colored glasses (although it's a fair assumption, actually).

      2. DesigNate   8 years ago

        It's deceptive bullshit to try and make anyone reading the piece associate the memo with their injected racism angle. Seriously, the NYT can't die fast enough.

      3. Rhywun   8 years ago

        Yes, my thinking is that the meno is neutral and the NYT is being deceptive. It struck me as odd considering that college admissions discrimination against Asians has been all over the news recently.

  5. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

    The battle over whether to destroy the internet in the name of stopping sex ads is heating up...

    Destroying The Village In Order To Save It is really the only move in government's playbook.

    1. mad.casual   8 years ago

      It's really more of a 'Destroy The Village' with a 'In Order To Save It' audible or option.

    2. Marty Feldman's Eyes   8 years ago

      Michael Beckerman, the president of the trade association, said that the bill was too broad and could hamper the fight against online sex trafficking.

      Pfft, it's like he doesn't even listen. The bill's author and its advocates said very clearly it's to help fight online sex trafficking.

      and it's a sad day when anyone stands up for them,"

      And that's how you witch hunt. He knows his shit.

  6. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

    It's "National John Suppression Initiative" time again, folks. Protect and serve, or something.

    John's not here anymore, ENB.

    1. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

      So the suppression initiative (the lost Robert Ludlum novel?) is working?

      1. Elizabeth Nolan Brown   8 years ago

        #Resist

  7. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

    Alan Greenspan is warning about a bond-market bubble.

    He must read Zerohedge.

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Greenspan was senile when he was Fed Chairman. Can't imagine what the bats are doing up there now.

      1. geo1113   8 years ago

        Married Andrea Mitchell. That says it all.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    The inmates took advantage of a new guard by using peanut butter to conceal an exit door number...

    And also to totally make the K9 officer look like it could talk.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Ruh ro!

  9. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

    "The inmates took advantage of a new guard by using peanut butter to conceal an exit door number," according to the sheriff's office in Walker County, Alabama Sheriff's.

    Peanut butter is commonly found smeared on walls in Alabama.

    1. pan fried wylie   8 years ago

      Peanut Butter aka "Alabama Duct Tape"?

    2. MarkLastname   8 years ago

      Especially walls with holes in them, in order to tempt unsuspecting strangers into licking them.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        MarkLastname has apparently been burned on that one before.

  10. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

    "We are moving into a different phase of the economy?to a stagflation not seen since the 1970s."

    This time there's going to be a recession mixed in there too. Stagflession!

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      This economy tastes a little gamey.

      1. BYODB   8 years ago

        Everyone knows Obama fixed the economy even while he was stopping the sea from rising. FAKE NEWS!

        /sarc

  11. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Jordan may finally ditch its law allowing rapists to escape punishment if they marry their victims.

    Boy, there are a lot of unfortunate joke lines available here.

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Unfortunate Joke was my nickname in college.

  12. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    Why The Mooch Lost His Cool

    Both the Mooch and Roger Stone spoke with the reporter. There are many highlights:

    "If you were 7 inches taller, I'd be worried," Trump told Scaramucci, according to someone familiar with the conversation who asked not to be named quoting the president.

    Scaramucci strongly denies having a sexual relationship with Guilfoyle. Stone, a friend of Guilfoyle's, explained that Scaramucci and Guilfoyle "are very close friends but nothing more." He added, "He is way too short for Kimberly."

    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      I miss The Mooch. :'-(

      1. Zeb   8 years ago

        Yeah, I was looking forward to more profanity laced hilarity.

      2. Elizabeth Nolan Brown   8 years ago

        We all do.

      3. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

        It's definitely the cruelest power play of the Trump administration. Show us all heaven and then destroy it in front of us.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          The Mooch was truly the Dewey Crowe to this administration's sixth season of Justified.

    2. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

      Scaramucci said he felt burned by the interview. "The Lizzas and Scaramuccis have been friends for over 50 years. My dad knew his dad from construction, and we were building a personal relationship. Most of what I said was humorous and joking. Legally, it may have been on the record, but the spirit of it was off. And he knew that."

      When I asked Lizza for his response, he wrote back: "I've only known Anthony in his capacity as a Trump surrogate and then White House communications director. We are not and have never been 'old family friends,' though I think our fathers knew each other, so maybe that's what he's talking about. (The Long Island Italian world in that generation is relatively small.) But again, that would not be a reason to suppress an explosive on-the-record interview."

      What a strange, incestual world our betters live in.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        Much like the pharaohs of ancient Egypt or the emperors of the Incas, they strive to keep the bloodlines pure of contamination by commoners.

      2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

        Most people don't realize how bad it actually is until you start digging into it. It's almost as incestuous as a Targaryen family reunion.

        We joke about cocktail parties and all that, but it's essentially how that world operates. There's a very fluid quality to the DC-NY political/media sphere that is practically self-reinforcing. Political operatives get jobs in the corporate media and vice versa, they move from working in Congress to lobbying the people they worked with, the lobbyists get appointed to significant political positions (the last Air Force and Army secretaries are great examples of this), the players attend each others' social functions, get married to/fuck each other, and no one on the outside ever thinks to question whether that's actually good for the republic as a whole.

        If they thought Trump was actually serious about "draining the swamp," he'd have been assassinated months ago because their whole way of life depends on that culture staying in place.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          I doubt assassination would be necessary. If Trump wasn't already an established member of the Ruling Class (which, as a connected real estate guy/media personality he certainly was) he'd have been coopted into it automatically simply by becoming a major party candidate.

      3. Rhywun   8 years ago

        (The Long Island Italian world in that generation is relatively small.)

        Uh huh. Half the population of Brooklyn decamped to Long Island during the 50s and 60s.

  13. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    It's "National John Suppression Initiative" time again, folks.

    I applaud this. You definitely have to suppress the john after Indian food, believe me.

  14. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    The battle over whether to destroy the internet in the name of stopping sex ads is heating up...

    How many marriages is the internet going to destroy before we finally close it down?

    1. Chip Woodier   8 years ago

      Someone should invent an internet with nothing but sex ads. They could call it "the internet".

      1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

        I only hope the Feds never figure out the code for the Reason comment sextion.

  15. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    DNC Staffer's Murder Draws Fresh Conspiracy Theories

    The Dallas-based financial adviser, Ed Butowsky, a Fox News regular who has written articles for Breitbart News, contacted the parents of Seth Rich and urged them to hire a private investigator to look into the death of their 27-year-old son, who was shot and killed last July in what police say was a robbery gone wrong. Butowsky offered to cover the fees and connect them with an investigator, according to Brad Bauman, a spokesman for the family.

    Butowsky initially denied that he played any role in the Rich case in an interview with NBC News. "I'm not involved with any of what you said," Butowsky said when reached on his cell phone Tuesday.

    But hours later, he confirmed his involvement to CNN and acknowledged he had withheld the truth from NBC News.

    Ugh.

    1. MarkLastname   8 years ago

      Beginning to think Seth Rich's family was involved in his death. Or are they really even his family? Has anyone seen their... birth certificates?!!!

      Dun dun dun!

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        I have a feeling we'll never find out what happened.

  16. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    We are moving into a different phase of the economy?to a stagflation not seen since the 1970s.

    His wife told him to say that.

  17. Chip Woodier   8 years ago

    YouTube embraces the "heckler's veto".

    YouTube will isolate offensive videos that don't violate policies

    1. mad.casual   8 years ago

      YouTube embraces the "heckler's veto".

      This almost seems like if you made a decent offer, you could get some of YouTube's best content a discounted rate.

  18. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    ICE raids in late July led to the arrest of 650 people, including 38 children; only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

    They all have records now.

  19. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    France, Facing Criticism, Promises the Bare Essentials for Migrants

    Eight months after the government destroyed a sprawling migrant encampment of about 9,000 migrants at Calais, up to 700 migrants ? Eritreans, Ethiopians, Afghans and Pakistanis mostly ? are still wandering the area around the Channel Tunnel, sleeping outdoors with no toilets or other facilities.

    The migrants have made thousands of attempts to enter the tunnel and board trucks bound for England since the beginning of the year, the police say.

    Active mistreatment has not discouraged the migrants reaching France ? for example, Human Rights Watch said last week that the police routinely used pepper spray on the migrants. Neither does passive neglect, since the government refused to heed a local court's order to provide water to the migrants.

    Wait, should we be more like Europe, or less like Europe? I am so confused.

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      I see they've given up on calling them "refugees".

      1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

        At some point, they stopped becoming refugees and evolved into squatters.

        It's becoming rather obvious that they didn't flee to Europe to rebuild their lives, they just figured they'd have a better chance of getting more generous government bennies if they moved there rather than stayed in one of the camps in the Middle East.

        1. Rhywun   8 years ago

          It does beg the question of why they're all so keen to enter England. Pressing business with the Queen?

          1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

            They heard that
            hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way, which sounds perfect for a refugee.
            Also, the world famous cuisine and balmy weather.

            1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

              I've eaten Spotted Dick every day and am more than happy with my life.

        2. Zeb   8 years ago

          No reason they can't be both refugees and squatters.

          The benefits are definitely a factor in their decisions to go to Europe (and to certain particular countries in Europe) rather than anywhere else. But even without the benefits, I'm pretty sure I'd rather try to find work in Europe than stay in a tent camp in Turkey or something.

          1. BYODB   8 years ago

            Not surprising since you aren't Turkish, but one would think that if Turkey was so shitty that maybe the populace would do something about it instead of just heading on over to the next country.

            If all the reasonable people leave a country, in this example Turkey, what do we expect to happen to that nation?

            When those 'reasonable' migrants then demand that the country they move to invade their old country to fix it for them, what happens next?

            Honestly, I don't care because I'm of the opinion 'fuck Europe in general'. Our 'Mexican, Canadian, and Cuban' problem will never be anywhere close to the same level of problem as it is in Europe. At least all three of our foreign neighbors are mostly reasonable, with the possibly exception of Cuba which has a miniscule population.

            In Europe they have Islamic fascists and terrorists just walking on over. Good thing they have lax immigration policies, huh? I can see why a lot of people over there are pissed at their governments and it's easy to see why their terrorism problem is far, far worse than ours.

            1. Zeb   8 years ago

              I think you are reading too much into my comment. I'm not picking on Turkey, just saying that going to a reasonably prosperous country to try to make a life would be preferable to living in a refugee camp anywhere. Turkey just happens to be next to Syria.

              I don't have a strong opinion on what Europe's immigration policy should be or how they should deal with the current migrant/refugee situation. It's a difficult situation and they haven't dealt with it well. Civil wars and tyrannical governments are nasty situations and I don't know if there is a good answer to any of the questions you pose. Good thing it doesn't really matter what I think.

  20. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    ...during the 2016 election, millennial and Gen X voters outnumbered boomers and seniors 69.6 million to 67.9 million.

    GaJo could have cleaned up if he had only chosen a Kardashian as his running mate like I suggested.

  21. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    Man accused of having sex with Arkansas couple's pet donkeys

    The camera captured several images on May 27, June 4 and July 5 of Compton putting a bag over a donkey's head, getting behind the animal and placing his pelvis against its rear, according to the documents.

    Siloam Springs police apprehended Compton on July 16 after he was caught having sex with another donkey on the same property, according to the documents. After officers spotted him in the bushes, he at first claimed he was only taking a walk, but, after he was told there was video, said that marijuana "makes him do sick things," according to the Arkansas Democrat Gazette.

    I have already sent this article to Jeff Sessions so that he can help prevent more donkey-fucking.

    1. MarkLastname   8 years ago

      I can only imagine what ecstasy makes this guy do.

    2. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      "Compton putting a bag over a donkey's head,"

      Must have been one ugly donkey.

    3. Chip Woodier   8 years ago

      Man, I only want to fuck donkeys when I don't get enough weed. This dude is sick.

      1. geo1113   8 years ago

        Maybe he ran out of weed.

    4. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      I wonder how many times this guy's been Mule-kicked in the nuts?

  22. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    ...litigation related to intentional race-based discrimination in college and university admissions.

    Aren't they going to have to change some Supreme Court rulings first?

  23. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    Trump crafting plan to slash legal immigration

    Trump plans to get behind a bill being introduced later this summer by GOP Sens. Tom Cotton of Arkansas and David Perdue of Georgia that, if signed into law, would, by 2027, slash in half the number of legal immigrants entering the country each year, according to four people familiar with the conversations. Currently, about 1 million legal immigrants enter the country annually; that number would fall to 500,000 over the next decade.

    The Cotton-Perdue legislation would also mark a broader shift away from the current immigration system, which favors those with family currently in the U.S., toward a merit-based approach. It would, for example, increase the number of green cards ? which allow for permanent residency in the U.S. ? that are granted on the basis of merit to foreigners in a series of categories including outstanding professors and researchers, those holding advanced degrees, and those with extraordinary ability in a particular field.

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Isn't every foreigner tourist a legal immigrant? I'm sure there are more than 1 million per year.

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        Isn't every foreigner tourist a legal immigrant?

        No.

        1. Zeb   8 years ago

          Look, Bombadil has other things on his mind than worldly affairs like immigration law and magic rings.

          1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

            I just figgered that since Immigration Services regulates all visitors, they'd be immigrants, but I see that that isn't the definition.

            Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!

    2. TW   8 years ago

      From what I've read, the reason why it would result in a lower number of net immigrants is because it would change the shift away from family reunification (which is far more generous than most other countries like Canada in terms of who you can bring in as a family member and how easy it is) and towards a merit-based system. Something like only 10-15 percent of immigrants who are admitted are brought in because of job skills so just changing the focus towards a merit-based system and bringing our family reunification policies in line with other developed countries would decrease the number of legal immigrants.

  24. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Twelve inmates escaped but have all been caught.

    Looks like peanut butter isn't so good...

    [dons sunglasses]

    ...on the lamb.

    1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago
      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago
  25. SIV   8 years ago

    No identity politics sammiches?

    1. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

      Translation

  26. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    First-ever U study analyzes the patterns of sex buyers in Minnesota

    Buyers of sex across Minnesota tend to be middle-class, married white men, and they live in all parts of the state.

    Translation: Trump voters pay for ass.

    agencies from Duluth to Mankato are taking a harder look at johns as well as pimps, though the report estimates that only a fraction of buyers ? likely less than 1 percent ? ever get arrested.

    "We're not out there every day, all day," said Assistant Stearns County Attorney Shan Wang, who has prosecuted sex buyers. "It's pretty rampant ... it really is all times of day."

    "There is no typical person who buys sex ? it's all across the board," said Plymouth Sgt. Eric Fadden, who runs a special investigative unit that works stings with other west metro police. "It's disturbing in my mind when they're trying to solicit girls the same age as their daughter."

    Fact: don't disturb Sgt. Eric Fadden.

    Wang, don't tell them you're Jewish.

    1. Zeb   8 years ago

      Old dudes should bang old whores, damn it! It just ain't right.

    2. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      "There is no typical person who buys sex ? it's all across the board,"
      "Buyers of sex across Minnesota tend to be middle-class, married white men"

      C'mon guys, get your story straight. Otherwise I might not treat this crime wave seriously.

    3. croaker   8 years ago

      I'm wondering how they managed to conduct this study while avoiding arrest for "human trafficking."

  27. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Jordan may finally ditch its law allowing rapists to escape punishment if they marry their victims.

    There really are a lot of tasteless jokes available for this one.

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Yes, they really are

      (borrows Fist's sunglasses)

      Fal-awful

      1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

        I would have advised against that. You know exactly where those glasses have been.

  28. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    It's "National John Suppression Initiative" time again, folks.

    Operation Cock Block is in full swing.

  29. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

    Alan Greenspan is warning about a bond-market bubble.

    Seriously, isn't it weird both his wives were named Mitchell?

    1. KerryW   8 years ago

      He doesn't make fun of your fetishes, you shouldn't make fun of his.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

        My fetish is negative interest rates.

  30. OM Nullum gratuitum prandium   8 years ago

    ICE raids in late July led to the arrest of 650 people, including 38 children; only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

    So much for "We're only going against the hardened criminals!"

    The reign of terror has officially begun.

    One time, the German people really did believe those arrested during the night were going to be put to work for the first time in their lives...

  31. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    Young, brown ladies with round cabooses in tight, short shorts will corrupt our men! BUILD THE WALL!

    1. Zeb   8 years ago

      Well, in that case, tear down the wall!

    2. Dillinger   8 years ago

      they might be Jordanian rape victim brides and he's their new hubby.

  32. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

    Other than the inevitable "don't wanna die, don't be slapping police cars while ons the Ambien" takes we will read after the officer isn't charged, this is the worst take on the Justine Damond murder:

    "Was Noor acting like the Muslim religious police, maintaining strict adherence to keeping women's bodies covered when he shot Justine?" Bachmann wonders aloud. "Was he acting from a cultural instinct?"

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Knee-jerk Sharia would be a great band name.

      1. mad.casual   8 years ago

        Knee-jerk Sharia And the Cultural Killshots.

      2. Zeb   8 years ago

        Knee-Jerk Shakira Law.

    2. Rhywun   8 years ago

      I didn't get to the money quote due to the toxic smug.

      1. Crusty Juggler - Hero   8 years ago

        I shared the relevant quote to spare you - I am a hero, damnit, a hero!

        1. Rhywun   8 years ago

          Thanks, because for a moment there I was rooting for Bachmann.

    3. Rich   8 years ago

      From the comments at the link: [Bachmann] is so embarrasing to this state! On the plus side, this time she didn't call it "Shakira Law".

      1. Zeb   8 years ago

        Band name?

      2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        Hips don't lie... on pain of stoning?

    4. Zeb   8 years ago

      What a silly cunt.

      Is it common in Somali culture to shoot any woman you see with exposed hair?

  33. Rich   8 years ago

    "Under the new [Jordanian] amendment, killing 'in a fit of rage' can no longer be considered a mitigating circumstance"

    What about killing 'in a fit of ecstasy'?

    1. Dillinger   8 years ago

      ecstasy always makes me less murderous.

  34. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

    ICE raids in late July led to the arrest of 650 people...only 130 had a criminal record of any sort.

    And yet all 650 were on the other side of a national border that had been illegally crossed.

    1. Zeb   8 years ago

      Probably not all. Lots of people enter the country with legitimate visas and don't leave when they are supposed to. Not sure what proportion of illegal immigrants came that way, but I think it is significant.

      1. DesigNate   8 years ago

        I'm pretty sure that IS a criminal offense.

        1. Zeb   8 years ago

          I'm not sure. But I think that overstaying a visa, by itself, is not a criminal offense. Lying about your intentions to get a visa probably is. But I think just being in the country without the proper visas makes you subject to removal, but not criminal prosecution.

          I am not a lawyer or immigration expert, but that's what I've found with a little bit of research. If anyone really knows otherwise and can back it up with some better information, please do.

  35. Dillinger   8 years ago

    >>>Alan Greenspan is warning about

    the perils of being 749 years old.

  36. Dillinger   8 years ago

    when did shorts from 1987 come back?

    1. Rhywun   8 years ago

      You can't even see their tramp-stamps SMDH

    2. Vernon Depner   8 years ago

      Plaid bermuda shorts from 1965 are back for men, too.

  37. Vernon Depner   8 years ago

    Has Greenspan ever been right about anything?

    1. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      He likes deep-dish, but I'm not saying that's right or wrong.

  38. croaker   8 years ago

    it gets better: ICE held a citizen for over three years, then dumped him effectively naked in Arkansas. He won damages, but the 2nd Circus decided that the statute of limitations expired while he was in custody.

    http://www.npr.org/2017/08/01/.....eals-court

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