Brickbats

Brickbat: Where's The Beef?

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beef
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India has banned the sale of cows for slaughter. While Hindus do not eat beef, it forms an important part of the diet of the nation's Muslims and Christians.

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  1. The leader of the southern state of Kerala, which has a large Christian population, criticized the move as “fascist” and a “clear attack on our plurality.”

    Let’s just call this what it is, a Christian ban!

  2. India’s environment minister, Harsh Vardhan, said the new rules applied only to sales at livestock markets and that cattle bought and sold directly from farms would not be affected.

    The reverse cow show loophole. Harsh.

  3. Anyone seeking to sell cattle at a market would need to furnish identification documents ? both for himself and the animal ? creating what one commentator called “a cow bureaucracy in the 21st century.”

    The commentator then quickly added, “No, hold up. I can do better… A bovine-eaucracy? A moo-nistry of hold-on-stein! Fuck, I’ll get it…”

    1. I knew there had to be some great jokes in there, but I just couldn’t find the angle at this hour. Well played, fist. Well played.

      1. Moo-slims hardest hit.

        1. Sure to be a flop with Christian voters as well.

    2. Udderly ridiculous.

    3. cowstapo?

    4. Meet the new bossie-es. Kine-tic action by gov’t. A vache-t bureaucracy. Filling a power vacc-uum. Sound the clara-bell! No bull.

      1. see us cower in fear from this…

    5. A Cow Tipping-Point if ever there was one.

  4. “India has banned the sale of cows for slaughter.”

    For slaughter, folks. For slaughter. I predict a spike in the purchase by Muslims and Christians of cows for pets, followed by a spike in inexplicable cow deaths.

    1. Euthanasia. There is a new disease among cows called ‘hungry owner syndrome’.

      1. …much like youth everywhere?

  5. The other nice nugget hidden in there was that the $4 billion meat industry in India is dominated by Muslims. And Dalits. Which I had to look up. Apparently it is the lowest caste of the Indian caste system.

    At first I thought of the Daleks, but that just didn’t make any sense at all. I mean, the slaughter part makes sense for a bunch of Daleks, but they don’t really leave much behind.

    Anyway, protecting cows is one thing, but sticking it to a bunch of Muslims probably drives a lot of votes too.

    $4 billion doesn’t seem like a lot for a country of India’s size. The US beef industry is worth about $67 billion at the farm level in the US.

    Although the same link has a probable reason for the difference.

    The amount of beef consumed in the U.S. Per Capita 55.7 lbs

    So a little over a pound per week. That’s getting it done. Particularly since I’d guess we eat way more chicken than beef. (google says we do, at 90 pounds per year)

    That same link says we eat somewhere around 225 pounds of meat per year in the US. Holy crap, that’s a lot. That’s getting up towards 2/3 of a pound per day. And that averages in babies and toddlers.

    1. They were formerly known as the untouchables, not because they couldn’t be bought, but no one in India would have anything to do with them and they had to do the most menial jobs.

    2. “That same link says we eat somewhere around 225 pounds of meat per year in the US. Holy crap, that’s a lot.”

      I’ve wondered about such statistics before. How do they count the meat? Is it the sale of cattle at auction, which would include horns, hooves, etc? I’m sure, at a minimum, it includes all the meat wasted/thrown out at restaurants and at homes (I think there was a recent Reason blog about restaurant food waste where discarded food ran into double digit percentages).

    3. Except babies and toddlers aren’t as delicious.

      1. Clearly you’re just not cooking them right.

    4. At first I thought of the Daleks, but that just didn’t make any sense at all. I mean, the slaughter part makes sense for a bunch of Daleks, but they don’t really leave much behind.

      I enjoyed reading this paragraph much more than I should have.

  6. Kamadhenu is pleased.

    Salutations to her who gives good,
    Who takes care of us,
    And who gives us cows.
    Salutations to her who blesses us with Dharma,
    And who gives us fame and victory.

  7. Well bullshit.

  8. Let the sectarian riots begin!

  9. I doubt this will go over well in Nagaland, either.

  10. Let them eat horse!

    1. Dogs and Donkeys run in fear…

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