Movie Review: Snatched and King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Amy Schumer bounces back, Guy Ritchie returns with a thud.

How you feel about Snatched will probably depend on how you feel about Amy Schumer at this point. Did you love her in Trainwreck? Were you then puzzled by the awkward misfire of her Netflix special a few months back? Is she now the new Anne Hathaway, a once-beloved female performer suddenly judged by the entertainment media to have exceeded her sell-by date? Hathaway has bounced back from that ritual drubbing; can Schumer do it, too?
Snatched seems unpromising in bare outline. A mouthy, abrasive woman named Emily (Schumer), stuck with a pair of nonrefundable plane tickets after being dumped by her boyfriend, persuades her agoraphobic mom, Linda (Goldie Hawn), to join her on a vacation in Ecuador. Together, these two well-off white women venture down among the brown peoples of the Amazon Basin, and the high-end tourist resorts in which many of them—those not engaged in terrorist activities at any rate—are employed. Risks are taken (mother and daughter put their trust in a dubious hunk), adventures are had (they get kidnapped), and at the end of a brisk 90 minutes, a little potted lesson about the Important Things in Life is learned.
Sounds like a hard pass, right? And yet Snatched is in fact a funny movie. Writer Katie Dippold (The Heat) has set up some wonderfully silly scenes and sprinkled them with tart, zingy lines, and Schumer and her well-selected castmates happily dig in. It must be said that Hawn, returning to the screen after a 15-year absence, isn't given many memorable things to do (although when Emily wonders if she hit an attacking bad guy too hard in the head with a shovel, Linda does get to say, "I saw his brains"). But scene-stealing is otherwise rampant on the part of Ike Barinholtz, playing Emily's hyper-wussy brother; Wanda Sykes and Joan Cusack as fellow vacationers (Cusack's mute character is a "special ops" vet who cut out her own tongue to hinder the possibility of divulging classified information); and especially Christopher Meloni, who takes over the picture for a brief stretch playing a jungle adventurer not unlike Indiana Jones (although, as it turns out, not enough not unlike him).
Director Jonathan Levine (The Night Before) was fortunate in having a way-overqualified cinematographer (Florian Ballhaus, who also shot the glowing Devil Wears Prada) to work with on his Hawaiian locations. And although he's unable to explain what the terrorist kidnappers are so up-in-arms about (because the script doesn't), Levine does get to preside over a nice yucky scene in a jungle clinic in which Emily is found to be inhabited by a tape worm—and a strip of meat is dangled over her mouth to coax it out.
Otherwise, Levine pretty much stands aside and lets Schumer rip. She once again segues easily from sweet vulnerability to whiny irritation, and once again puts her own delectable spin on girly raunch. At one point a guy Emily is thinking of hooking up with spots the elaborate tramp stamp emblazoned above her butt and asks, "Is that finished?" "Well, people have finished on it," she says.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
How you feel about King Arthur: Legend of the Sword will definitely depend on how you feel about its cowriter and director, Guy Ritchie. In the nearly 20 years since he scored a critical hit with his low-budget debut, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Ritchie has evolved a wildly overamped filmmaking style that is more about itself than whatever narrative subject is purportedly under consideration. Several of his previous movies, like RocknRolla and Revolver, have been gaudily preposterous; but two of them—his Sherlock Holmes films, with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law—have also been ragingly profitable. The same may prove to be true of Ritchie's latest, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. The movie has acres of action and pantloads of CGI—two of the major ingredients for international box-office domination. However, it is also quite gaudy—in the dreary, dun-colored manner of so many Ye Olden Times films—and it is, yet again, preposterous.
Whatever one might want in a King Arthur story—noble knights, chaste romance, a swirl of magical fantasy—it's hard to imagine anyone really wanting what we have here. Hard, but of course not impossible. I'll be brief.
Ritchie's Arthur, gamely played by Charlie Hunnam, is an orphan who's unaware he has royal blood. Following the murder of his father, King Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana), the baby Arthur, like the baby Moses, was floated off to safety in a little boat. He was found by prostitutes and raised in a bordello. (This is not your grandpa's King Arthur.)
As a grownup, Arthur is an aimless yob on the streets of old Londinium—until a bunch of stuff happens and he finds himself standing in line with a group of other reprobates waiting to have a go at pulling a big old sword out of a rock. He wins this odd contest, and with Excalibur in hand he soon finds himself being guided by a magicky woman called Mage (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey), and leading a band of likeable louts with names like Goosefat, Wet Stick, and Kung-Fu George. (I know, I know—I'm not making this up.) Before long, they're all off to confront Arthur's evil uncle, Vortigern (Jude Law), now the king, and a man so hateful he says things like, "When people hate you, it's intoxicating." (Law is the only actor in this film who appears to be having fun.)
Ritchie's penchant for cheeky anachronisms is in fullest flower. Here we have Arthur chatting up Mage with the line, "Are you fallin' for me like I'm fallin' for you?" And Kung-Fu George apologizing to Arthur for some infraction with the phrase "Sorry, boss." And, inevitably, Vortigern berating a lackey with the words, "Just do your fucking job!"
Ritchie wheels out all the usual slash-and-clang medieval battle action. He gives us giant lurching elephants, sprawling tentacle monsters, and a couple of nice eerie images (in one of them we see the ocean ominously draining away from the shore of a seaside village). But the movie's few good moments are crushed by Ritchie's trademark 10-ton stylistic overkill. Yet again.
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Nice reviews here, and wow, seems like you and I are the only ones on Earth who haven't joined the dogpile on Amy Schumer.
Regardless of her talent, if she's still fat, she's still persona non grata among libertarian men who are not -- NOT -- misogynists.
"Regardless of her talent"
Assumes facts not in evidence.
If I could create a perfect woman, and then somehow create an opposite of that woman, that "somehow woman" would closely resemble Amy Schumer
"At one point a guy Emily is thinking of hooking up with spots the elaborate tramp stamp emblazoned above her butt and asks, "Is that finished?" "Well, people have finished on it," she says."
Is this joke as unfunny in the film as it is in print? And since this is the featured joke in this article, is that as good as it gets?
I love how modern comedies are so unfunny that they barely have enough gags to fill the trailer.
I don't have anything against her for talent, weight, or being a woman. She's just the same character in everything. That's great if you love that character, but if you didn't like her the first time, nothing has changed. She's the Adam Sandler of chick flicks.
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Amy Schumer is capable of being pretty funny - it's just that she is currently far, far too full of herself to be anything other than obnoxious. Her Netflix special was so self-indulgent that it was difficult to watch.
I haven't seen the Netflix special, but her act was getting old before that came out.
Maybe her act seemed old because you had already heard her jokes once before from the comedians she stole them from.
This happens to a lot of otherwise good comics. They turn the act into their personal rant blog, and nothing is all that funny about it unless you happen to hate whatever or whoever they're ranting about.
I heard that back when she was a kid everybody laughed when she announced she'd become a professional comic when she grew up. Now no one is laughing.
She revealed just how far up her own ass she's gotten when she got all pissed off when a guy she took a selfie with made a joke about her being a slut. Bitch, like a lot of other overrated female comics, that's been your entire act for years, don't act as if you're above it all now.
I am that person described by Kurt Loder who enjoyed Trainwreck and was puzzled by her special. I'm more puzzled by the gleeful hate people have for her. I take it as a given that comics are going to miss the mark sometimes. Then youtube recommended a video to me of "proof" of her joke stealing. I wasn't 100% convinced she's an evil thief, but I like the ripped off material better in each instance, which is more damning. But ignoring a comedian who's not terribly funny on average makes more sense to me than riding some hate train.
"...riding some hate train..."
How does Dane Cook make you feel?
Look at the bright side DanO,,,more fat chicks for you.
I think she's hot-she probably wouldn't have me though because my meat ain't kosher
I think everyone on Earth has dogstyled Amy Schumer. Oh, you said dogpile. Never mind.
Funniest comment of the day, congrats.
One of the things people and organizations have is reputations. Part of the reason so many people buy Macs and iPhones is because they know what to expect. Part of the reason people watch Adam Sandler movies is because they know what to expect.
When actors get activist and mouth off publicly, there's a two-way transfer between their acting reputation and their activist reputation. The flow from actor to activist is why they do it: they expect their acting reputation to lend weight to their cause. Unfortunately for them, they ignore that the opposite also happens: their activist activities pollute their acting reputation.
Imagine if Adam Sandler were to do something stupid like beat up a tourist's children. His box office reputation would take a dive from which it would probably never recover.
People watch comedians for their wit, their attitudes, their humor. When comedians turn activist, that activism becomes part of their persona, like it or not, and more so than with dramatic actors who play so many different roles. When a comic genius has made a point of publicizing their political concerns, over and over, it's hard to watch them crack jokes and not wonder what the political angle is. It doesn't take a lot of that pollution to ruin a comic's appeal.
When a comic genius has made a point of publicizing their political concerns, over and over, it's hard to watch them crack jokes and not wonder what the political angle is. It doesn't take a lot of that pollution to ruin a comic's appeal.
Hence why George Carlin will remain the greatest comedian ever-he proudly declared himself a non-voter.
A lot of backlash against her from comedy fans has more to do with her joke stealing. She's been called out by several of her peers over this. She's also been accused of liberally sampling from Patrice O'Neal's material after he died.
She may not be a c*nt, but her soul-less Senatorial cousin is.
I can't in good conscience give her any money.
I will watch this when it gets remaindered on cable.
Hawn, returning to the screen after a 15-year absence, isn't given many memorable things to do
That's disappointing, because Hawn is the only reason I'd consider seeing the movie.
Liberal Hollywood probably wanted to write a meaningful and memorable part for a great older actress like Goldie Hawn, but The Republican War on Women doesn't allow it. Sad.
It's een 15 years since "First Wives Club"? Wow.
It's been more than 20 years since First Wive's Club. She did The Banger Sisters about 15 years ago.
So, this King Arthur retelling seems to have about as much to do with the original tales as a Three Musketeers candy bar has to do with Alexandre Dumas' novel. Pass.
After watching Fate/Stay Night, I can never accept King Arthur being played by a man (if you haven't seen it, look up the character Saber from that series).
Bah. I hate watching the Japanese butcher western culture.
The movie is called "Snatched" and I'm sure that isn't meant in the "kidnapped" way knowing Amy Schumer. Because it's super funny when women make lame dirty jokes for some reason.
Her hole-centered stand up comedy is actually mildly amusing, if you like tasteless jokes about body fluids and promiscuity.
Fuck Loder, you could have provided some warning that there was gonna be a picture of Amy Shumer in a bikini accompanying this review. I just threw up all over my keyboard.
As dd I; masticated coffee and croissant all over the place.
I like to watch people masticate!
She's really very, very average in a bikini. You haven't been to many American beaches. They'd be covered in vomit if Shumer was vomit-worthy.
All this angst over an obvious "angle" shot that doesn't even show her rack? Eh, whatever. Nice ass. I'd tap that.
The Bikini: Not just for skinny bitches anymore.
You can keep that flabby ass and the manatee attached to it.
They'd be covered in vomit ...
They aren't?
Nah, I don't find her unattractive, she just doesn't specifically appeal to me. Granted, my taste in women leans more towards Megurine Luka anyway, so I wouldn't be looking.
Hey, they didn't mention her anal bleaching scene at the spa.
"A mouthy, abrasive woman..."
Well as least the casting is good.
I thought RocknRolla was great (though with the cast, the director would have to go out of his way for it to not be) Revolver not so much. Snatch is classic.
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Snatched would have been funny if it had been a send-up of Taken, with Hawn possessing a particular set of skills and Schumer as the kidnappee.
Little did they know, Private Benjamin got into the special forces and spent all those missing years doing black ops.
She forgot all about those years herself, until she hit her head, fell off her yacht, and woke up married to Kurt Russell.
Snake.
I thought he was dead.
"not hardly"
Perhaps an Amy Schumer snuff film would be commercially viable. (Obviously I mean a purely fictional one.)
A vigilante, perhaps someone expelled from school for a fake rape charge, goes about kidnapping political correct entertainers and PBS hosts and keeping them caged in a Brooklyn townhouse, where on weekends they are the entertainment for an S&M dance party, the music so loud no one realizes they are being kept against their wills....
Kathy Bates can play the bartender.
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One. Star.
I think she keeps a tape recorder on her night stand and just records what her drunken one night stands say as they peel back the curtains....
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Amy, Amy, Amy. Such bad form to post replies on a review of your movie.
Who watches this trash much less reviews it?
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I come to this movie because of David Beckham :v
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