Now N.C. Republicans Want to 'Uphold Historical Marriage,' Melania Trump Wins Escort Lawsuit, Federal Hiring Freeze Ends: A.M. Links

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photo of Chris Hayes 4/11/2017 show on MSNBC

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  1. North Carolina Republicans introduce the “Uphold Historical Marriage Act” in an attempt to ban same-sex marriages in the state.

    Gotta energize the base.

    1. Republicans: “Take our majority, please!” That base is getting smaller every year.

    2. Hello.
      Was J Geils chopped liver?

      1. He was at least as influential as Lou Reed and David Bowie put together.

    3. Using the word, historical, rather than, traditional, doesn’t seem like good salesmanship. Seems like they are conceding that it’s a thing of the past right in the title of the bill.

      1. Let’s use the word recognition, speaking of manipulating lexicon. Unless they’re making the marriages illegal, we’re talking about a return to failure or refusal to recognize.

    4. A dead horse! My kingdom for a dead horse!

      http://imgur.com/WTDnnwE

  2. Iowa is moving to criminalize posting, emailing, or texting a sexually-oriented photo or video of someone who has not given their consent.

    Yes means Gif

  3. Melania Trump has won her suit against U.K. newspaper the Daily Mail over its publishing allegations that she had been an escort.

    Now they can get back to concentrating on their high quality journalism.

  4. But Code Enforcement officers say they’re not cops and don’t want to be tasked with leading this new weed war.

    What if you can get a tank or get in on some of that asset forfeiture business?

  5. Chris Hayes has really let himself go.

    1. That hair is Resisting hurricane-force winds.

  6. But Code Enforcement officers say they’re not cops and don’t want to be tasked with leading this new weed war.

    Looks like Code Enforcement is infested with stoners too lazy to confiscate weed.

  7. Apparently Don King is leading The Resistance?

    1. Damn, should have scrolled down…

    2. Damn, should have scrolled down…

    3. Damn, shouldn’t have let the squirrels in…

  8. “When is a naughty photo between teens a modern form of flirting, and when is it child pornography?” Colorado lawmakers debate.

    And they’ll need a lot of physical evidence to pore over in order to bone up.

    1. I’m sure someone there can rise to the occasion.

      1. These euphemisms keep popping up.

  9. “What is this, the high hair?”, said greatest former congressman, Jim Traficant.

  10. ‘Girls’: Why Lena Dunham Getting Naked For 6 Seasons Proves the Show’s Greatness

    “Girls” star and creator Lena Dunham was interviewed by The Awl in 2012 about her nascent new HBO series, including her attitude towards clothing ? or the lack thereof. “I feel like now I’m going to have to give up my trick of ‘oh, let’s make this scene funnier by way of pants removal.’ It’s going to wear thin. I’m going to need to start using it more judiciously,” she said at the time.

    Five years later, well, she didn’t quite follow through on that. But we wouldn’t have it any other way.

    1. “We” in the last sentence seems overly broad.

    2. It’s hilarious how much the media fluffs her just because her parents are connected to New York’s upper crust. It’s like a bunch of adults in that social class who never stopped cooing at the 3-year-old streaking naked through their cocktail parties.

      She’s a great example, like Magic Johnson’s kid, of how being in the social elite quickly leads to degeneracy in subsequent generations.

    3. You are part of the problem, Crusty.

    4. ‘oh, let’s make this scene funnier by way of pants removal.’ It’s going to wear thin.

      Every time I think she can’t get any more detached from reality, she proves me wrong. Seriously, the joke was satirical in a kids movie and was played out by the end of the movie.

  11. FBI obtained FISA warrant to monitor Trump adviser Carter Page

    The FBI and the Justice Department obtained the warrant targeting Carter Page’s communications after convincing a Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court judge that there was probable cause to believe Page was acting as an agent of a foreign power, in this case Russia, according to the officials.

    1. As we all know, a FISA warrant basically means you’re already guilty.

      1. They have rock solid evidence of his treasonous behavior: he likes Russian dressing on his salads.

        Mofo be more Nixonian than Nixon, and his cult members are more McCarthyite than McCarthy.

  12. Two-thirds of the links have to deal with sex? Well Richard Harden and Pussy Galore! Must be ENB.

    WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF WAR WOMAN! TALK ABOUT THE NORKS!

  13. Secret A.T.F. Account Paid for $21,000 Nascar Suite and Las Vegas Trip

    Agents with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives used a secret, off-the-books bank account to rent a $21,000 suite at a Nascar race, take a trip to Las Vegas and donate money to the school of one of the agents’ children, according to records and interviews.

    Agents also used the account to finance undercover operations around the country, despite laws prohibiting government officials from using private money to supplement their budgets, according to current and former government officials and others familiar with the account.

    1. DEA #1: What a drug bust! Fifty thousand in cash in some punk’s floorboards. My entire salary, sitting right here in the van…
      DEA #2: Yeah, that punk sure did think he could hide that forty thousand with one of the oldest tricks in the book.
      DEA #1: Just think about the amount of drugs we have kept off the streets; thirty thousand bucks buys makes this guy big time!
      DEA #2: If I were him, I wouldn’t keep twenty thousand bucks in my floor…

    2. If the ATF were eliminated tomorrow literally no one would notice. Between the alphabet soup of federal fuckery (ATF, FBI, TSA, CIA, DHS….) the ATF and DHS are tied in the lead for worthlessness.

    3. What is Nascar?

      1. “Staten Island yokels don’t get to watch this.”

        1. Oh, NASCAR.

          1. They must be pulling their stringers from across the pond, with their “Natos” and “Unescos”.

  14. Drill baby drill: Japanese scientists hope to reach the Earth’s mantle in massive borehole project

    Japanese scientists have announced a plan to drill through the Earth’s crust and reach the mantle. The major initiative would be a first for humankind. Despite multiple previous attempts and multiple boreholes of significant depth, we’ve never managed to drill far enough to see what lies beneath the Earth’s rocky crust.

    All of the drilling sites are in the ocean because the Earth’s crust is roughly twice as thick on land as it is over water. Even so, this is no small task. Chikyu’s drill will have to pass through 2.5 miles of water and 3.7 miles of crust to reach the mantle, which accounts for ~85% of the Earth’s volume.

    They are also going to need a black guy to die.

    1. Massive Borehole something something nickname something.

      1. STEVE SMITH NEW ALBUM DROP NEXT TUESDAY! GET *MASSIVE BOREHOLE* OR ELSE!

    2. “They are also going to need a black guy to die.”

      Preferably while wearing a red shirt.

      1. And looking off camera while all we see is the expanding fireball reflected in his glasses.

    3. “And looking off camera while all we see is the expanding fireball reflected in his glasses.”

      A giant fireball from the mouth of Godzilla, of course.

    4. Will Godzilla star in this or just have a cameo?

    5. The Dark One will be released before tge end of the decade.

    6. I look forward to the earth making farting sounds as it deflates and starts zooming randomly about the solar system.

      1. That may very well be the coolest way for the world to end.

    7. Nothing says ‘great idea’ like dropping a several billion dollar drill into magma while simultaneously creating a man-made volcano right below your technicians.

      There is essentially zero value in drilling into the mantle besides proving that the mantle is there, which I imagine you could do with, oh I don’t know, sound.

  15. A realty company reported tenants to the police after discovering too many condoms in a clogged drain…

    Those condoms, always clogging things up.

  16. Things the liberal, lamestream media cabal (of which Reason is a part) refuse to cover: Petraeus and McMaster have Taken Over the NSC, Want Massive Ground War with Syria

    Petraus, using his considerable contacts in the media as well as substantial Saudi money, has been manipulating personnel decisions within the NSC for months.

    1. If any of that is true, we are truly fucked. Who give a shit about Syria? Someone needs to feed the war boners into the fucking chipper.

    2. One of my commanders was McMaster’s XO at 3ACR when they were up in Tal’Afar. McMaster was a bonehead, according to my commander. Considering he has made a career of doing silly things (i.e. battle of 73 easting), this certainly wouldn’t surprise me.

    3. Of course, that article completely butchered Petraeus’ name…

      1. The article is ridiculous – I thought that was obvious. I thought McMaster had a good reputation in the military, but I am basing my knowledge on alcohol-infused conversations with West Point instructors, so what do I know?

        1. I thought McMaster had a good reputation in the military, but I am basing my knowledge on alcohol-infused conversations with West Point instructors, so what do I know?

          Ah, most of those these days are my old classmates. To make me feel older, my XO when I was a commander is about to head up there to teach.

          McMasters was glorified in AOBC for the battle of 73 easting, but he was the CO…at the front of his formation…who crested the berm belly up…walking right into a reverse slope ambush…where the Iraqi’s volley fire landed short. That battle was a tribute to the engineering prowess of the M1A1 in adverse conditions (sandstorm). He basically won that battle with a cheat code.

          1. ” That battle was a tribute to the engineering prowess of the M1A1 in adverse conditions (sandstorm). ”

            The accounts I read of the battle tended to point that out.

            1. Yeah, I mean McMaster is a likable guy, but there’s a reason why he got a TRADOC command instead of a Division. His main “rival” was Son of Tank (Robert Abrams). McMaster beat out Abe for 3rd ACR, but he blew through his maintenance and purchasing budget in the first six months, which prompted an investigation. Kind of an act now, think later guy.

              He escaped that relatively unharmed, but it probably didn’t help him for the next round. For the next round of commands, Abe beat him out and got 3ID. Nothing is wrong with commanding the MCOE (Armor and Infantry training force at Benning), which is where McMaster went, but it’s not a deployable unit. Not the same prestige.

              1. That’s interesting. I don’t know about any of that insider baseball stuff, but from what I have been told (again, the guys I know could be blowing smoke), McMaster is far preferable to Flynn, which is something I tend to agree with. Then again, if he is pushing for a massive ground invasion (I really hope not), I would claim that I have always disliked him.

        2. Sounds like you’ve been paid off with substantial Saudi money.

  17. Iowa is moving to criminalize posting, emailing, or texting a sexually-oriented photo or video of someone who has not given their consent.

    I know one Reason commenter approves.

  18. A new Nevada bill sponsored by Sen. Pat Spearman (D-North Las Vegas) “would expand Nevada’s sex trafficking laws to include not just those actually trafficking young people but to what she described as all the participants.”

    So we’ve seriously, as a nation, replaced clown panic with this?

    1. Dumbasses in governments (or their wives or children or staff) read ridiculous stories or studies or watch a documentary with alternative facts, and we get horrible laws.

      Outlaw fake news!!!!

  19. A realty company reported tenants to the police after discovering too many condoms in a clogged drain, prompting an investigation that ended in prostitution and money laundering charges.

    I wonder who did the links today.

    1. Now I see why you get no use from a dictionary, you can’t read printed words.

      1. You are absolutely obsessed. It’s getting a bit creepy.

        1. Another day, another lameass comeback to a righteous dragging.

          1. Yeah it is pretty lame what passes for trolling from you two children.

        2. Your inability to recognize sarcasm leads directly to an understanding that you don’t use sarcasm. As such, every statement you make is completely true. Now, I’m sorry for your disability, truly I am, but you don’t need to get belligerent* about it.

          *I’m going to leave that one for you to look up.

          1. You say this, after accusing me of illiteracy because you couldn’t or refused to recognize very obvious sarcasm. If ‘irony’ is not in this oft cited dictionary of yours, maybe ‘projection’ is. You’ve supposedly been here for years, but all of a sudden you’re trolling every little post I make, it’s as if you search my name on every thread you visit so you can take every opportunity to demonstrate what a useless twat you are. You’re obsession is blatant. But please don’t ever change Sparky, useless twats have their place and I trust you’ll find yours soon.

            1. No, I didn’t expect you to understand. I put that out there for the benefit of anyone else who might stumble upon your mindlessness and take some pity on your plight.

              1. Right, seeing this exchange they’ll come away thinking I’m mindless, not that you conduct yourself like a petulant 12 year old at every opportunity.

                1. It’s kind of cute, your obsession with getting the last word. I’ll bet you think that people not replying to your madness means you’ve won something.

                  1. Maybe later you can accuse me of “mind reading” or maybe one of your other canned responses that you think will sound pithy. But yeah okay, if it’s so important you can have the last word Fanboy. Even though you’ll just follow me from thread to thread anyways.

    2. My alternate headline: “Moronic renters get busted running a brothel thanks to their laziness and stupidity.”

  20. North Carolina Republicans introduce the “Uphold Historical Marriage Act” in an attempt to ban same-sex marriages in the state.

    What a joke–even if it passed, it’s going to get struck down by a judge within five minutes.

    1. No, the real joke is that it’s nowhere near the most oppressive or unconstitutional law being considered or enacted even in just the AM Links but it’s the one that’ll most obviously get struck down.

  21. The Trump administration will lift its federal hiring freeze beginning today.

    He was just kidding about that freeze. Locker-room talk! Besides, he was only 70 years old when he said it. How would you like it if the liberal press brought up all the dumb things you said and did as a teenager septuagenarian?

  22. Iowa is moving to criminalize posting, emailing, or texting a sexually-oriented photo or video of someone who has not given their consent.

    This is really good and oppressive and all, but since it’s *my* body and *my* consent in the first place, I shouldn’t be obligated to prove whether I did or did not consent. Also, there need to be additional amendments or provisions for situations where I initially provide consent and then revoke it later.

  23. North Carolina Republicans introduce the “Uphold Historical Marriage Act” in an attempt to ban same-sex marriages in the state.

    Oh gee, what a surprise. Didn’t NC have a Republican governor just a few months ago? Why yes they did. Did Republicans do anything about SSM while he was governor, other than bitch and moan about it? Why no, they didn’t. But now NC has a Democrat governor. Time to gin up the yokels and get them all riled up about how the Dem governor is an atheistic America-hating faggot-loving Bible-burning traitor by generating some fake outrage.

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