Beauty and the Tax-Fattened Oligarch

Just wait 'til 1789, you beast.

As you know, "Beauty and the Beast" is a fairy tale about a wealthy, powerful creature who holds a woman captive until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in and she learns to love Big Brother. Now that a new version of the story has hit the theaters, Dan Sanchez reminds us that the Beast's bride isn't his only victim:

As the new film's opening sequence makes explicit, the prince paid for his lavish lifestyle by levying taxes—so high that even lefty Hollywood regards them excessive—on the hard-working, commercial townspeople….The party-animal prince being transformed into a sulking beast may have amounted to a 100% tax cut for the town; no wonder the townspeople are so cheerful and thriving when we first meet them!

All princes and other nobles, after all, are descended from marauding warriors who settled down and transmuted plunder and tribute (protection money) into taxes and other feudal obligations.

This reminds me of my idea for a new version of "Sleeping Beauty"—one that focuses not on the comings and goings of various ruling-class parasites but on the prosperity that surely swept the countryside while the castle slept for 100 years.

Anyway, Sanchez (who claims he doesn't want to be a "childhood-ruining killjoy," but c'mon, that's half the fun) uses the new film as a nice hook for some anti-feudal, pro-commercial history. To read the rest, go here.

Comments

[BYODB]

Cracked.Com already did it. It’s worth a watch on YouTube. They essentially ruin Disney films forever.

[loveconstitution1789]

I was going to say… damn Jesse, you could get a young princesses everywhere to cry by ruining their fairy tales.

Maybe the beastly authoritarian learns that ruling over serfs and stealing their property is wrong and revamps the entire kingdom into a Republic.

[Citizen X - #6]

The Tax-Fattened Oligarch was my nickname in middle school.

[mad.casual]

Not ‘Sir Tax-Fattened Oligarch’? You really must’ve been a man of the people.

[Cynical Asshole]

This reminds me of my idea for a new version of “Sleeping Beauty”?one that focuses not on the comings and goings of various ruling-class parasites but on the prosperity that surely swept the countryside while the castle slept for 100 years.

Hmmm… How about a whole series of “libertarian fairy tales” taking old fairy tales and re-telling them from a libertarian angle?

For example instead of “Snow White and the 7 Dwarves” it could be “Snow White and 7 Short, But Hard Working Entrepreneurs.”

[Citizen X - #6]

Ahem.

[LoneWaco]

Hansel and. Gretel learn TNSTAAFL

[Fist of Etiquette]

… the prosperity that surely swept the countryside while the castle slept for 100 years.

Just up until it was invaded by job-seekers from the neighboring kingdom!

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

The party-animal prince being transformed into a sulking beast may have amounted to a 100% tax cut for the town; no wonder the townspeople are so cheerful and thriving when we first meet them!

So no Roadz for them. Ingrates.

[Mickey Rat]

Yes, 1789 was su h a smashing vi tory for freedom, justice and peace…oh, wait…

[Zeb]

But it did kill a lot of rich oligarchs. The lesson isn’t that revolutions always yield good results, but that they will happen if you abuse people for too long.

[Citizen X - #6]

…as noted in the linked article.

[Tony]

I take it we’re supposed to believe that the villages just protected themselves from rival princes and barbarian hordes?

[Zeb]

Depends. Were all the trained fighters put to sleep/turned into monsters along with the princes?

You do make a reasonable point, I think. Rulers didn’t just come to be for no reason. When a big enough group bands together for mutual defense, it is probably inevitable that a strong leader or small group of leaders will emerge and have the opportunity to consolidate power.
But as the past several hundred years have shown it is possible to move beyond that model of governance. Most people seem to think that’s a good thing.

[Citizen X - #6]

Obviously, it never would have occurred to the denizens of medieval towns to organize their own defense. Obviously.

[Robert]

Why is Stockholm syndrome even called a syndrome? Isn’t it a good thing that people learn to get along? Aren’t syndromes bad things?

[Bra Ket]

love is a serious mental disease.