Ryan Zinke Confirmed as Interior Secretary, Obamas Ink Multi-Million Dollar Book Deal, New Look at Dinosaurs: P.M. Links

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  • Julius Csotony

    The Senate confirmed Ryan Zinke as secretary of the interior.

  • The White House announced it would not discipline Kellyanne Conway for promoting Ivanka Trump merchandise, saying she had done so "inadvertently."
  • The Iraqi army has reportedly taken control of the roads leading out of Mosul, trapping ISIS fighters in the city.
  • Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.
  • Google's YouTube launches a streaming service.
  • The oldest known fossils may be contained in rocks in Canada.
  • Research published in Nature Communications reveals the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

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  1. The Senate confirmed Ryan Zinke as secretary of the interior.

    A World without Zinke.

    1. Hello.

      Not that Reason cares.

      1. *goes to wave, decides against it, kicks some dirt around, leaves*

      2. They care so much that you capitalized their name when even they won’t do so.

  2. The White House announced it would not discipline Kellyanne Conway for promoting Ivanka Trump merchandise…

    BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BRING MORE ATTENTION TO THE GREAT ITEMS IN THE IVANKA TRUMP LINE, AVAILABLE ONLINE.

    1. Which items do you recommend, Fist?

      1. Fist looks HAWT in a low cut dress. It really shows off his man boobs.

  3. The White House announced it would not discipline Kellyanne Conway for promoting Ivanka Trump merchandise, saying she had done so “inadvertently.”

    I’d promote whatever she’s slinging.

  4. “”””Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.”””

    Let me guess the subject, Obama?

    1. “Dreams from My Father’s Son”

    2. The Audacity of Gettin’ Paid

      1. The Audacity of Hope & Cha-Ching

    3. In a rare turnabout, it’s about Milo Yiannopoulos.

    4. “It’s a COOKBOOK!”

      1. Winner.

    5. The Right To Keep Arms Bare
      How Michelle’s Fashion Sense Kept Me Sane

    6. A Tale of Two Shittys

      More Miserables

      For Whom the Bell Ka-chings

      Alternatively, you could go the sequel route:

      Moby Dick II: A Bigger Dick

      The Red and the Black II: Redder and Blacker

      Pride and Prejudice II: Arrogance and Racism

    7. “Men are from Venus, Wookies are from Kashyyyk”

  5. …the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

    Is it too much for Krayewski to get a Velocirapto with a friggin’ laser attached to its head?

    1. If you think it’s tough strapping lasers on a shark….

    2. Hey, it had great alt-text. I interpreted it as being directed at me personally.

  6. Research published in Nature Communications reveals the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

    I see “dinosaurs” and “lasers” in the same sentence, and my mind immediately goes here.

      1. Gonna have that stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

  7. The oldest known fossils may be contained in rocks in Canada.

    Name of one Canadian fossil: Rufus.

    1. He may be elderly, but he’s no Hihn.

      1. I’M IN MY MID-40s AND RUN CIRCLES AROUND YOUR SORRY MILLENNIAL ASS.

        /licks dough nut.

        1. I’m 43 sir and the circle would be large. /nibbles bacon

        2. Good gravy! Are there no donuts in The Great White North?

          1. Tim Horton’s maple glazed, probably.

        3. Are nuts made out of dough some Canadian thing?

          1. They go good with moose cock.

            1. Isn’t that some sort of Canadian carnival game?

    2. The oldest fossils who rock in Canada? Rush.

      1. -1 Guess Who

        1. Helix or nothing, man.

          1. Did somebody mention Canadian fossils? They’re still not fragile, you know.

      2. Rush 2112 is still on my album list.

      3. Ok, I see all the obvious jokes about Canadian fossils are taken. But did you guys now that Muslims were the first Canadians? They say penis worm, but I say scimitar!!

    3. Still only 5,000 years old though, right?

  8. Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.

    The audacity of wearing out your welcome.

  9. The Iraqi army has reportedly taken control of the roads leading out of Mosul, trapping ISIS fighters in the city.

    ISIS fighters have reportedly taken control of Mosul, booby-trapping the Iraqi army’s efforts to enter in the city.

    1. “I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with ME.”

  10. The Iraqi army has reportedly taken control of the roads leading out of Mosul, trapping ISIS fighters in the city.

    Let that be a lesson to the libertarians in this country.

    1. Protect our roadz!

  11. what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers

    So basically like this?

      1. But Juice posted a better bigger version of the picture.

        1. Indeed. Juice wins.

    1. *sigh* need to read the comments first

      1. It’s easier *** takes deep breath *** these days.

  12. The Senate confirmed Ryan Zinke as secretary of the interior.

    Is that Ryan “Kitchen” Zinke?

    1. +1 Emacs

  13. Google’s YouTube launches a streaming service.

    YouTube isn’t already that?

    1. Only the Urination Channel.

      1. Linky?

        1. “The joke is in your hand.”

    2. most confusing six word headline ever

    3. most confusing six word headline ever

  14. Research published in Nature Communications reveals the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

    So now they have new fangly gadgets to help them say “yep, dinosaurs looked like birds”? I guess it’s nice to have a little extra something to confirm what research has been trending towards lately.

  15. The oldest known fossils may be contained in rocks in Canada.

    Petrified Poutine.

    1. That only takes a day.

  16. The White House announced it would not discipline Kellyanne Conway for promoting Ivanka Trump merchandise, saying she had done so “inadvertently.”

    Justice is defecated on yet again.

    1. Justice has muddy boots ground into it yet again.

      1. “Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?”

  17. Because ‘not-paying-for’ equals ‘banning’:
    “50 nations seek to counter US ban on family planning funds”
    [?]
    “Trump’s decision, one of his first acts as president, withholds about half a billion dollars a year from international groups that perform abortions or provide information about abortions.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/med…..968505.php

    I think abortions should be legal, and folks should inform themselves of their options regarding having or not having kids.
    I also think that taxpayers who think otherwise shouldn’t be forced to foot the bill.

    1. withholds about half a billion dollars a year from international groups that perform abortions or provide information about abortions

      No longer shipping stolen money out of the country? The nerve of that giant orange asshole!

    2. It’s like he gets off on being withholding.

      1. Is this how his children talk when he’s not around?

    3. I also think that taxpayers who think otherwise shouldn’t be forced to foot the bill.

      Sheesh, Sevo, we’re trying to make the tax code *simpler*!

    4. Any word on the actual 50? The story itself mentions only Brussels/Belgium donating. Other reporting says 8 countries. It sounds like 50 countries showing up is being extrapolated outward. I’m interested in how many of these countries, both donors and recipients, have legal policies inconsistent with the US. At which point, nice social justice donations straddle the fence with influencing politics and 50 countries donating begins to look like fake news.

    5. So you check the box on your 1040 like the election campaign thing?

  18. Non-stop vomiting, a puffy face and the constant need to pee

    But enough about the Democrats’ reaction t Trump’s speech.

  19. Nicely done on the alt-text

    1. Rowr, Jesse.

  20. The Iraqi army has reportedly taken control of the roads leading out of Mosul, trapping ISIS fighters in the city.

    For the sake of all involved I hope they assault the city rather than lay siege.

    1. I think that’s assuming a lot of professionalism on the part of the ISIS fighters. What are the odds they’ll avoid civilian casualties?

  21. Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.

    Eh, it’s whatever. Famous people write books. One of my favorite presidents, US Grant, wrote up his war memoirs near the end of his life to save his family from financial ruin, the book sold very well and was a great success. That’s nothing like what Obama is doing but I can hardly scoff at presidents and book deals.

    1. As long as the heads of every government agency approve the book prior to release, of course.

    2. I just learned that US Grant’s Presidential library is at Mississippi State University. I am still trying to process that. I think it would be similar to Jefferson Davis having his Presidential library at Oberlin college.

      1. That is interesting, it was picked in 2012 so I imagine it all came down to money and who marketed their venue best.

      2. I guess it is better than it being at Vicksburg. Too bad Sherman was never President, the Willam T. Sherman Presidential library in Atlanta, would have been a hoot.

        1. Atlanta is STILL pissed about that.

    3. Yeah, if some publisher shows up at my house with a dump truck full of money, I’m going to write a book for them.

      1. No shit. I never begrudge Presidents book deals. They were part of history. It is important to history that they write down their first-hand impressions of their time in office. And when they do that, a lot of people are going to want to read it. So, why wouldn’t a publisher pay big money for that?

        It is not like some Congressman writing a book no one will read. People read presidential biographies. It is Obama’s biography, why shouldn’t he get paid for it?

        1. Yup. I can just see Obama placing a call to Bobby Rush after inking the deal: “You know what Bobby, you were right – – I was too white to represent the Illinois 1st Congressional district in 2000. Thanks for defeating me in that race”

        2. Except that these are never real biographies. They’re all hagiographies ghost-written under the supervision of the worst person possible – they guy the book is about.

          If ex-president’s genuinely wrote down their impressions and gave an true inside glimpse of why they did what they did (whether it was for good or ill) then they’d be worth reading.

          Otherwise they’re just exercises in ego-stroking.

          SLD – private contract so they can do what they want. But books and presidential ‘libraries’ are uniformly shit.

          1. I haven’t read the recent ones. But I have read Ford’s, Johnson’s and Nixons and I didn’t find those to be anything like that. Those biographies were real and offered real insight into things. Sure, they are one sided but all biographies are. Maybe the Bush and Clinton ones are like you say. I don’t know. I haven’t read them. But the older ones were not like that.

  22. Google’s YouTube launches a streaming service.

    Is google or comcast more powerful I wonder? Or is this one of those things that if you follow the money to through the parent companies to the top you’ll find that they are owned by the same people?

    1. Comcast doesn’t have an army of robotic terror dogs, so my vote is Google.

      1. It does have basically monopolistic control over the internet, no?

        1. Only if you live in one of them yokel states that do not have fiber.

  23. Obama can write a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and even seventh autobiography; nothing will ever come close to matching the honesty and authenticity of his first one. The one where he openly and frankly talks about how much he despises white people.

    1. Block Yomamma
      Block, Block Yomamma
      I say Block Yomamma
      Block, Block Yomamma

      1. It’s a real pity that I was one of the few people who actually read the fucking thing.

        Because if everyone else had, he never would have been elected president in a million years.

      2. It is true. Go read the book. It is worth your time. It contains all sorts of interesting and surprising things that the media never really talked about during his time in office.

        To me, one of the most interesting things in the book is how Obama’s Indonesian step-father seems to be the only sane influence he ever had in his life. His mother, father, and grandparents were all whackjob Marxists. His step father, in contrast, was very level-headed. He was a real operator who didn’t buy into any of the Marxist anti-colonial bullshit and told Obama that if people wanted anything in the world, they had to go out and work for it and stop blaming colonialism. His mother ended up divorcing the guy and dumping Obama back on her parents in Hawaii because she didn’t want her little red snowflake having anything other than Marxist influences.

        There are all sorts of revealing things like that in that book.

        1. Go read the book. It is worth your time.

          Thanks but no thanks. I’m busy working my way through A Series of Unfortunate Events right now. I’m not really interested in any part of Block Insane Yomamma’s life.

          1. Now that he is out of office, the book is more of a curiosity. But nothing Obama did in office was a surprise to anyone who had read that book. The media, being generally illiterate and stupid, never actually read that book or if they did really understood it or took it seriously. If they had, they would have understood Obama a lot better than they did.

  24. Nine mile skid on a ten mile ride, hot as a pistol but cool inside.

  25. What’s Obama gonna talk about?

    How to blame others for your own shortcomings and failings?

    1. What’s Obama gonna talk about?

      What could have been.

    2. “Since I achieved all my goals in the first two years, there was no need for a Democratic Congress.”

    3. How to blame others for your own shortcomings and failings?

      That’d be one Hell of a long read, considering.

  26. The oldest known fossils may be contained in rocks in Canada.

    Canucasaurus?

    1. Well, we’ve already got Albertosaurus and Edmontosaurus (yay Alberta!) so sure, why not?

      1. Nope. Its going to be Quebecasaurus. Because ‘equality’ or some shit.

  27. Club shooter’s wife to go free before trial on aiding attack

    The widow of the gunman who killed dozens of people at a Florida nightclub is not dangerous and will be released from jail ahead of her trial on charges of aiding the attack, a federal judge in California ruled Wednesday.

    The FBI couldn’t find her for several months? Nope, not a flight risk.

    1. Oh, FFS!

      Judge Donna Ryu also said there is no evidence that Noor Salman, 31, has connections to the Islamic State group or holds extremist views.

      “I asked her several times, quite forcefully, and she consistently denied it.”

      1. This surprises you? Evil never dies in America. Hey anyone remember that guy who shot that congresswoman and little girl in the face in front of dozens of rolling cameras? I wonder what book he’s reading in bed these days, what makes him laugh out load, what sort of porn he gets to masturbate too.

        1. It doesn’t surprise me. I am, um, saddened by the blatant concomitant bullshit.

    2. Is it bad that I am inclined to think the FBI wants her to disappear? Who the fuck gets bail on terrorism charges or accessory to 49 counts of murder?

      1. Probably because the FBI can’t find any actual evidence and she probably has knowledge of the FBI agents that coaxed the dude into shooting in a ‘sting’ gone awry.

        1. Its pretty bad when the incidents of Islamic terrorism could be cut in half if the main agency tasked with internal security would *stop* doing its job.

          1. In this country. Not speaking for any of the shitholes elsewhere.

        2. My guess is that they have plenty of evidence she knew what he was going to do. It would not, however, surprise me in the least if she also knows that he was talking to the FBI. What if her defense turns out to be “he was an informant for the FBI, so I didn’t think he was really going to do it and since he was talking to the FBI and they didn’t arrest him or do anything to stop him, he must not have been serious”?

  28. The White House announced it would not discipline Kellyanne Conway for promoting Ivanka Trump merchandise

    Meh. But she definitely deserves a spanking for putting her feet on the oval office couch.

    1. Go on…

    2. She kinda turns me on. There I said it.

  29. Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.

    Dreams of my Father, A Story of Race and Inheritance, Part II.

    There might be some value in reading the manifestoes of political candidates before the take office. The Art of the Deal, for example, is all about ridding of us Jews, or so I’ve heard.

  30. Research published in Nature Communications reveals the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

    You can see, with better resolution, that dinosaurs had fricken lasers attached to their heads.

  31. Research published in Nature Communications reveals the best look at what dinosaurs actually looked like, with the help of lasers.

    So I’ve been playing the game Ark: Survival Evolved, fucking dope. x3 fire emoji

    1. really fun. They should be releasing the game this year, too. they want to wrap up content and work on some bugs, then push it.

      1. I doubt the actual game will ever release. It’s like what is the point for them, they made $150 million and have already pumped out expansions.

        1. How the fuck do you sell expansions to a game in beta? That’s why I’m becoming so skeptical of the “early access” model. It’s become a marketing ploy. I mean, whatever, get that money boo, but just call the damn thing a release already and own the bugs.

    2. Do you need a 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, or 20 sided die to play that game?

      1. As much as I love dice rolling RPGs, Ark is a video game.

      2. If the answer is not ‘yes’ then its not a real PnP game.

  32. The oldest known fossils may be contained in rocks in Canada.

    Probably a receipt for that order I never got at Tim Horton’s.

  33. Re: oldest known fossils

    True story bros, I recenly found a fossil of a tiny clam like creature on a rock along a river in south Mississippi. I’ve also found two arrow heads. I researched it and could be mistaken but the fossil might be two hundred million years old.

  34. Barack and Michelle Obama signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House.

    It will all go to charity, I’m sure.

      1. Well, they *are* working on — I am not making this up — The Obama Foundation.

    1. Charities are hard to fathom these days. If you give some money to a clergyman he’s likely to use it resettle a family from East Bumfuckistan to a neighborhood in rural West Virginia, to the curiosity and consternation of its residents.

      1. Churches have basically become left-wing community centers at this point. It’s particularly ironic because Christ pointed out that being a Christian meant being hated by the world, but these people nowadays are chasing that adulation like a man seeing an oasis mirage in the desert. Just look at Pope Hippie.

        1. …Christ pointed out that being a Christian meant being hated by the world…

          Really? So that means I’m the greatest fucking Christian since Christ Himself?
          I keed, I keed: I haven’t been crucified yet. (Feeling lazy, will one of the mods insert a link to the Beatles song for me please? Thanks 🙂

  35. I generally loath presidential speeches. But Trump saying that the Seal’s legacy “is etched into eternity” is a very nice turn of phrase. That is not as great but a bit like “last full measure of devotion”, which is one of my favorite phrases ever uttered.

    1. “slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.” is pretty awesome, but they’re quotations from other sources, so I guess it doesn’t really count.

      1. To me, Presidential speeches begin and end with Lincoln. The Gettysburg Adress and the Second Inaugural read like something from Sophocles. I can never read them without getting choked up.

        The world will little note nor long remember what we say here. But it cannot forget what they did here.

        There are damn few passages of the English language ever written that are any better than that. And Lincoln had like a dozen passages like that. And he wrote his own speeches. Someone who can do that is not mortal. It makes you think that maybe Toklien was right about some people being part divine and not fully human.

        1. It’s even more amazing considering that Lincoln didn’t come from the landed gentry like the Virginia dynasty, he was a hick from the Ohio River Valley who had about four years total of formal education.

          1. And, of course, the phrase from a Presidential speech that became too common and that I hate: “in harm’s way”.
            “Danger”, people, the word you are looking for is “danger”.

    2. Hard to believe, but this one speech seems to have knocked CNN’s website entirely off their game, at least temporarily. They even have a flattering picture of Trump on the front page, head lifted and “looking into the future” over a background of rising stock prices, sandwiched by “Trump’s address makes waves” and “Dow closes above 21,000 for first time ever”.

      1. CNN and a lot of other people, including several employees at reason, staked their entire reputation on the claim that Trump was not just going to be an ordinary bad President but was dangerously unfit for office. Last night’s speech made it obvious what a ridiculous lie that was. That can’t be a good feeling for CNN.

        As an aside, you can tell it was a good speech by how little reason has talked about it. They had couple of hack pieces by DeRugy and Dalmia and that is it. Normally, it would be Trumpapolusa the day after a big Trump speech. Today, they don’t seem to want to talk about it.

        1. Not a fan of some of the policies but the speech was really really good. If he lays off twitter (only positive stuff) and the whining blowhard look….what the hell will the dems do? They will be screwed. He is already looking to take away some of their go to good lucks.

          By their reactions last night it is clear trump is living in their head.

          1. And you shouldn’t be a fan of all of the politics in the speech. The point is that the things that people like Sudderman and DeRugy and others at reason wrote about Trump were idiotic. If Sudderman had any shame, he would write an apology for all of the stupid shit he said about Trump during the election. I don’t mean endorse or support Trump.. I mean just admit how fucking stupid the things he said were and apologize to his readers.

            1. is it true that debbie and keith ellison didnt clap or stand for that seal? Wow are they bozos

              1. Apparently a whole bunch of Democrats didn’t and also didn’t for the families of the guys who were murdered by illegal immigrants. That is just idiotic politics and bad optics.

                1. Yea. From their reactions it is like they look like they are the party of criminals. Im not sure what they are doing.

                  Trump has them on tilt either wittingly or unwittingly

                  They have no idea what to do other than look like insane idiots in response

        2. I also think it is better to start with low expectations as people usually dont look at whole context but rather relative

          1. Yes. And baiting his opponents into going nuts and setting the bar incredibly low only to then turn reasonable and make them look like fools, is one of Trump’s moves.

            1. Yea like chuck. He wants to oppose things that dems claim to support.

              If barry supported things the gop did they would have gone along with it. The reason they didn’t go along is barry never really wanted what gop was after

  36. http://www.usatoday.com/story/…../98493214/

    Another example of how Trump hates women.

    1. That same year, on a cheerleading trip to Gatlinburg, Tenn., I was offered vodka from a gallon jug that the girls got from older boys, and I jumped at the chance to fit in. I so desperately needed to feel like I belonged somewhere! I swore off alcohol the next day, but addiction had its claws in me and by later that year, I was addicted to morphine.

      That first sip of spiked gatorade on the cheerleader bus soon led to the future- pageant princess IVing “misties”

      1. Wtf. Those aren’t the same receptors.

  37. Donald,

    Just read the teleprompter for the next 4 years. The Republican Party has a whole agribusiness and resource extraction speech writing team that will write you speeches for policies that will totally fuck the economy up– but it will probably be after you serve out a full term. The way you were going back in mid-February was bound to get you yanked by December. Slow and steady, Donald, that bullshit about manufacturing jobs and China will only get you in trouble. Your fan,

    G.

  38. How I feel about SEALS:

    “…who cares about some mercenary civilian contractor from Oklahoma who gets his head cut off? Fuck ’em. Hey Jack, you don’t want to get your head cut off? Stay the fuck in Oklahoma. They ain’t cuttin’ off heads in Oklahoma, far as I know. But I do know this: you strap on a gun and go struttin’ around some other man’s country, you’d better be ready for some action, Jack. People are touchy about that sort of thing.”

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