Television

President Oprah?

The 2020 speculations have already taken a turn for the weird.

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In a Bloomberg interview posted this morning, Oprah Winfrey allegedly hinted that she might run for president:

I say "allegedly" because it's easy to read that as just a joke about the person presently in office. But it's not the categorical no that she was giving to the idea two months ago, and so Twitter is aflutter, as it so often is. Not that I'm complaining. If we absolutely must start speculating about 2020 this early, we might as well go weird.

Besides, it makes a poetic sort of sense. If I were prone to grand Hegelian theories of history, of thesis and antithesis synthesizing before our eyes, I'd expect an Oprah presidency. Her TV and business background would make her an outsider in the sense that Trump was, only more so; her race and gender would make her an outsider in the sense that Obama was, only more so. She even combines Obama's center-left politics with Trump's positive-thinking theology. If politics were poetry, it would be inevitable: In four years President O will be ordering drone strikes from the Oval Office couch. Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as The Celebrity Apprentice, the second time as an in-depth interview with Rhonda Byrne.

Either that or the Dems will nominate Al Franken, and Trump will get to battle Saturday Night Live in an actual election. Can't discount that possibility. If there's one thing that's clear in this surrealist soap opera we're stuck in, it's that the boys in the writer's room love cheap irony.

Postscript: Ha! Later in the interview Winfrey trots out that categorical no again. The Franken campaign breathes a sigh of relief.

NEXT: Watch a Liberal Bro Student Calmly Destroy the Berkeley College Republicans' Property

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  1. Nice try Oprah, but it’s pretty clearly gonna be Yeezus/Kmele in 2020.

    1. I don’t think Kmele’s wife would let him run, which is why I let him know that if I was married to him I would be more than happy to be his first lady.

      *sigh*

  2. Who could win against Oprah?

    1. Bozo the clown, who we already have.

    2. Almost anyone.

      But Franken? When was the last time we had a presidential assassination?

  3. You get a bomb! And you get a bomb! And you get a bomb!

  4. Why not? Why the fuck not? Jesus.

  5. I have no problem with this. I wish she would run so that people would stop pretending that the folks in Washington are some sort of Holy Class of our Betters.

    Watching Pelosi and Schumer and McConnell last night at the speech just reminded me how far off track our system of government has come when we have career politicians. There were never supposed to be “career politicians”. If Trump can get the GOP to pass a term limit bill it will do more to save our system than just about anything else.

    1. Actually, watching Pelosi and Schumer try to worm their way out of criticizing O in any way would be immensely satisfying.

    2. Term limits cannot even be considered until Congress first reigns in the bureaucracy. A strong bureaucracy like we have now, paired with a Congress full of neophytes with no incentive to do anything (they have no future elections to worry about if term limited – just indulge in graft and get out), would just result in the government being further out of control.

  6. Okay, okay, just stop it. IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.

    1. It’s kind of still funny.

      1. I, for one, have milk coming out of my nose…

        1. That’s because of a medical condition, though.

          1. yeah, but still…

  7. Eh. We could do a lot worse, and probably will.

  8. “And you get healthcare, and you get healthcare, and you get healthcare, and you get healthcare…”

    1. TV Guide once attached her face to Ann-Margret’s body for their cover picture. True story.

      1. I’d like to attach my face to Ann-Margret’s body too…wink, wink, nudge, nudge…bobs your uncle…

    2. right down to her bushy, bushy tail…

  9. Oprah as President isn’t a goofy idea. She would be a formidable candidate. She has off-the-charts personal appeal that crosses all demographics. We know it is powerful because she used this genuine likability to build a vast media empire, all on her own initiative.

    How many other people in US history can you think of who built a billion dollar empire based almost exclusively on their own personality?

    And she has been quite politically active for a couple of decades, so she has the connections and she has sympathetic people placed throughout government.

    No, she would be a very formidible candidate if she were to really decide this is what she wants. Sure, there is a ton of stuff to use against her, like her faith in pseudoscientific woo and her highly ambiguous personal life. But so far she has been able to smile her way through any controversy and retain her huge following. I would not dismiss the idea of an Oprah candidacy. It is certainly much less far-fetched than a Trump presidency.

    1. How many other people in US history can you think of who built a billion dollar empire based almost exclusively on their own personality?

      Well, I guess there’s Donald Tr–oh, shit, Oprah will win by the biggest margin ever seen.

    2. Back in the primaries, when the world was young, Trump did float the idea of asking Oprah to be his running mate. He may not have been serious, but we all know now that seriousness is no longer a living idea.

      1. read that as back to the primates….

    3. Given that the presidency is a personality cult, I would think Oprah would be a shoo-in.

      1. I think we should go full cult, like Kali!!!!

    4. there is a ton of stuff to use against her, like her faith in pseudoscientific woo

      Yes, that’d be a huge liability. /SARC FOR FUCK’S SAKE

      The office is hers if she wants it.

    1. like from the bodies of those she consumed when she fell off her yoyo diet wagon?

  10. Why not? Trump is a reality TV star turned POTUS.

    Although the only good one of the lot TV people would be Mark Cuban.

    1. Is Cuban still shorting the DOW? lol.

  11. Ha, I guess the Democrats would have to revamp their approach in that case: no more talk about the importance of experience.

    Undoubtedly the Republicans would snatch up that argument though, since they’ll either be running the incumbent or some Establishment politician.

  12. Not an Al Franken fan, and I live in Minnesota. I like his taste in music (Grateful Dead fan), and that’s about it. But the guy strikes me as being somewhat intelligent, and for that reason alone I don’t think he runs for President.

    1. Senator Smalley is terrible, but accusing him of being a Grateful Dead fan probably crosses the line.

      1. I thought he was just brain dead…and for that I’m grateful…

      2. Doggone it, Conchfritter likes the Dead.

        1. The Dead are like licorice. Not everybody likes licorice, but the people who like licorice really like licorice.

          1. I’ve never heard of anybody forgoing a career, family, and adulthood in general in order to live in a stinky van and follow licorice around the country, though.

            Did you know the Dead once had two drummers for most of a year, and didn’t even notice?

            1. you just don’t hang around with the right crowd…

            2. Not for licorice they wouldn’t. The second part was funny, I’ll give you that.

            3. With all the physical activity in drumming compared to the other roles in a band, two drummers working in shifts might not be such a bad idea.

  13. she would be a better president than Hillary or just about every democrat politician out there right now.

  14. I could easily see Oprah becoming president, she combines a lot of strengths that would appeal to each party, without a lot of cons that piss them off.

    1. plus she has a bust line that a battleship would be proud of, talk about a prow, she could break trough arctic ice with that bosom!

      1. not to mention that serious look with her hand to her chin in thoughtful repose and the glasses…man she has it all

  15. I’d never vote for such an openly anti-white & anti-male heterosexual candidate.

  16. She can’t be President. She’s a billionaire and has too many business ties. I understand those are disqualifiers.

  17. Jodie Foster for President! Really. No fooling.

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