President Trump Peddles Popular Vote Lie, More Californians Want to Secede, La La Land Leads Oscar Nominations: A.M. Links

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  • YUGE alternative facts
    Caleb Smith; Office of the Speaker of the House/Wikimedia Commons

    In a meeting with congressional leaders, President Donald Trump once again asserts the "alternative fact" that millions of undocumented immigrants deprived him of a popular vote victory.

  • About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.
  • China's birth rate rises eight percent just one year after restrictions on its long-standing "one child policy" were loosened.
  • China also couldn't be happier to have the U.S. pull out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).
  • Hamas threatens new violence against Israel if the U.S. moves its embassy to Jerusalem.
  • There's also speculation that Trump may not be making the embassy move as big a priority as previously indicated.
  • The new weather satellite GOES-16 has sent some pretty awesome views of Earth and the moon back to us terrestrial-bound humans.
  • Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, with La La Land earning 14 nominations. Mel Gibson was also a surprise Best Director nominee for Hacksaw Ridge.

NEXT: Two Journalists Charged With Felony Rioting During Trump Inauguration Protests

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    1. Wait, maybe we condemn you. Was today your schedule day to do links? Are you not jumping in to save today’s links but instead just running on CPT? (Contributor People Time.)

    2. TOO LATE! I have to go work…

      1. Yes, the goof off hour ends at 10 am. May be 10:30. 11:00 is my final offer.

    3. He did slip in another post before putting this up.

      Isn’t that a breach of etiquette?

      1. Breech of Etiquette? Time for a new handle, maybe?

        1. I’ll never understand you people building up a brand just to toss it away. Unless you’re doing it to escape your past here, which never works. They always seem to suss out who you people are.

          1. sometimes its fun to dress up.

            NO I DONT PUT ON GIRL CLOTHES.

            but my motive was mainly boredom. I had no idea people would get so fussed about it.

          2. Of course you would say that Fist. Or should I say, Tulpa?

            1. Again, do I come across as someone who wouldn’t want to take credit for his comments?

          3. Sometimes it takes awhile to find yourself.

        2. Fist of estimate
          Fist of effeminate
          Fist of effervescence

          1. Not Domestic Dissident enough. Let me try…

            Fist of Edible-shit

            Fist of Has-a-Fit

            Fist of Oedipus

            1. You guys aren’t being stupid enough

              Pissed on a biscuit
              Miss F. Dickit
              Kiss of a Tick Tit

        3. How about Breeches of Etiquette? Works well with Fist.

          1. Which leads to fistula of etiquette

    4. No Hello.

      1. No Jell-O.

  1. In a meeting with congressional leaders, President Donald Trump once again asserts the “alternative fact” that millions of undocumented immigrants deprived him of a popular vote victory.

    What’s Trump going to say? That fewer than the number of votes he lost by were illegal?

    1. And now Trump has everyone talking about illegals voting, whether they can get away with it, whether anyone could know how many did or didn’t vote, whether something should be done about it, etc. He really does play the media and the rest of his opponents like a fiddle.

      1. The more I see this, the more is seems strategic and not just trolling. While the media horde rushes to cover some innocuous tweet or statement, Trump and his staff do things in relative quiet. It’s like the media learned nothing from the campaign. Or the 8 years before it.

        1. Or the 8 years before it.

          Tough to learn anything when in a deep slumber.

    2. I’m not sure that this can be proven either way. How can someone prove that those ineligible to vote did not vote? In order for something to be ‘false’ you have to be able to demonstrate that something else is ‘true’. Otherwise it is just an unsubstantiated opinion.

      He’s a silly man with silly assertions, but these ‘facts’ peddled by others are just as silly

      1. ^This. It’s non-falsifiable.

        1. I think most of the complaints are being couched as he’s making assertions of fact without proof (which, yes, both sides of this seem to be guilty of).

          1. Neither side is ‘guilty’ of it, they both have absolutely no shame about it

        2. Sort of like a claim that some unidentified hacker seemed russian-like to some anonymous CIA expert?

      2. The way the system is set up now, you are right; it is impossible to know whether voter fraud is occurring.

        But that just leads to the question of why the system is set up so that voter fraud is nearly impossible to discover.

  2. About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.,/i>

    They other two support seceding from that one.

    1. I wonder what the poll numbers would look like if people were asked if they support Bill Hicks’s desire for California to be hit by an earthquake big enough to sink it beneath the ocean and create Arizona bay.

      Learn to swim, motherfuckers.

      1. Paging Lex Luthor.

        *makes note to buy up all the land between Phoenix and Blythe*

        1. Too Late, Lex has that covered.

      2. +1 Tool

        1. Yes – learn to swim.

        2. Fuck smiley glad hands with hidden agendas
          Duck these dysfunctional insecure actresses.

          Seems appropriate. Tool has been my favorite band since junior high.

        3. Tool is worse than George RR Martin. Where is the new fucking album?

          1. Come on, Maynard!!!

            1. TOOL frontman Maynard James Keenan is a noted gun enthusiast

              It surprises me that both you and I missed this bit of information, b-m.

              I’ve posted this link before at H&R, and because I remain impressed with the talented young people who covered 46 & 2 I’ve just posted it again.

            2. And he has a black belt in BJJ and is a wine making nerd.

    2. Think we can get Bugs to do this to California?

  3. DNC Chair Candidates Bash White People in Racially-Charged Forum

    Early into the event the candidates gravitated toward a particular scapegoat for the party’s poor showing in November: Political consultancies owned by white people.

    “We have to stop, particularly with the consultants,” said the chairman of the South Carolina Democratic Party, Jaime Harrison. “You cannot come to the DNC and get a contract and the only minority face you have is the person answering the phone.”

    Minority consultants “need to get the same resources that the white consultants have gotten,” said a Fox News analyst and candidate for the chairmanship, Jehmu Greene. “The DNC did a piss poor, pathetic job” attracting minorities, she said.

    Democrats must provide “training” that focuses in part on teaching Americans “how to be sensitive and how to shut their mouths if they are white,” urged the executive director of Idaho’s Democratic Party, Sally Boynton Brown, who is white.

    1. Please identity politics harder, Democrats. Please do that.

      1. Please knock it off Democrats, a single party state isn’t healthy.

        Get your shit together, put it in a bag, and toss it on the curb.

        1. If one of the major parties collapses, another will rise to take its place. The SJWs are dug-in too deeply for them to be excised from the current organization.

            1. Don’t tell me what to do.

        2. We have two parties right now. The Trumpist Republicans and the Conservative Republicans. That is essentially what has happened in Europe. The Left has been routed throughout Europe (with the exception of Portugal) and now there is the Americanized Right (low taxes, culture wars, etc.) and the Populist Right (blood and soil type of shit).

          1. Yep. I would not be surprised if over the next 8 years Trump and Paul Ryan define the two main parties. While the Dems become as fringe as the Greens and Libertarians and don’t make it onto the ballet in many races.

            1. PERMANENT MAJORITY!!!

              1. Nope – the Rinos and Neo-Cons move left to fill the void left by the DNC’s descent into insanity.

          2. They haven’t been routed yet. Sweden and Germany for example, still have their leftists firmly in power and are regularly passing laws that essentially make it illegal for right-wing groups to campaign electorally by making their opinions and policy positions into illegal “hate-speech”. It’s not much of an exageration to say that it’s illegal to be “of the right” in many European countries. I mean shit, they are hiding crime statistics and censoring the media on the grounds that such information will fuel the “far-right”.

            1. It’s like you guys were born yesterday. This is what they were saying about the GOP after Obama won. The puppet show needs a two party system and needs to keep us fighting about silly cultural shit while the policies stay the same. After Obama, the balance had to be restored.

              1. I’m saying the balance will be restored – but the DNC may not be one of the big 2.

                1. But the replacement party will just be a new fa?ade on the same broken ass structure.

                2. I’m saying the balance will be restored – but the DNC may not be one of the big 2.

                  Very unlikely. The DNC will sooner reform from the ground up than cease to be one of the big 2. The party dynamism of Europe depends on factors generally not present in the U.S. Hell, the Democrats survived the transition from being the party of slavery and segregation into being the soi-disant party of civil rights and affirmative action; whatever is going on right now is a drop in the bucket by comparison.

                  To put it another way, whatever ideas rise to the top 2 positions of the plurality heap, the DNC will claim one set of them and the RNC another.

                  1. That’s the thing. I’m seeing almost zero willingness to reform at any level of the DNC. They just keep sending crazy cat-ladies out to attack and lecture us.

                    1. Hence, “from the ground up”. The DNC leadership can stay full-flight insane; the state parties will begin the process as they want to regain ground they’ve lost.

                    2. Now, it is possible that the local parties could collapse before they get their shit together. But even if that happens in a couple of states, whatever parties arise to take their place will likely be consolidated into the DNC eventually. For example, the MN Democratic Party is not known as the “Democratic?Farmer?Labor Party” for nothing. The Democrats absorbed the Farmer-Labor Party after the latter had the run of MN politics for a little while.

            2. Merkel is with the Christian Democratic Union which is the center-Right (think Paul Ryan). The Left, the Social Democrats, only have a chance at winning of the Alternative for Germany (Trumpist Right) strals enough votes from Merkel’s party. The interesting thing is that the Free Democrats (their libertarians) could gain votes from the Left and join in a coalition government with the Christian Democrats (which has happened before in the past).

              I’m going to declare it now: the cosmopolitan, identity politics, Left is dead in the West. The future will be fought between the free marketers and the blood and soil populists. Even in FRANCE the socialists have nearly no chance of even making it to the runoff election.

              Even if the Democrats regain seats they will need to abandon, at least in part, their cosmopolitan, identity politics shit.

              1. Merkel is with the Christian Democratic Union which is the center-Right (think Paul Ryan).

                Right-left labels in Europe have drifted away from their rational basis. To call Merkel, the multicultist, egalitarianism-uber-alles and unrepentant GDR socialist, a “right-winger” is a joke. She makes Paul Ryan look like Pat Buchanan.

                only have a chance at winning of the Alternative for Germany (Trumpist Right) strals enough votes from Merkel’s party

                The AfD will be almost entirely shut out of power by the other parties unless they win in a landslide, which isn’t going to happen.

                The interesting thing is that the Free Democrats (their libertarians)

                I’ll take that with an enormous grain of salt. My Dutch wife tells me their D66 is a libertarianish party, but then look at their policy preferences and they look more like the liberal wing of the American Democrats.

                The future will be fought between the free marketers and the blood and soil populists.

                You may be right here. But the “free marketers” are as of now, extinct in those parts. It’s going to be more like globalists versus nationalists.

                1. You’re right that the Left and Right dichotomy in Europe is different than the US, but Merkel campaigned in opposition to ‘multiculturalism’, originally. The Christian Democrats are definitely not a Left-wing party. In fact they have positions on social issues that would be found only among the Christian Right in the US.

                  Look at France right now. Fillon (center-Right) is running on the pledge of slashing government jobs and reducing taxes. That sounds an awful lot like the Paul Ryan wing of the Republican Party.

                  1. Europe is different than the US, but Merkel campaigned in opposition to ‘multiculturalism’, originally.

                    It doesn’t really matter how she campaigned, what matters is how she has governed. She governed like a leftist. The CDU, whatever their low level supporters may believe about social issues, hasn’t done a thing to change the leftward trajectory of their leadership. There is to be sure a split within the CDU, between genuine Christian conservative types and leftoids dressed up like Christian conservatives. The latter control the party and have ushered in the passive acceptance of demographic decimation on a level that few if any non-communists would tolerate, in the entire history of western civilization. Even by their own left-right standards, Merkel and her faction within the CDU are utterly committed to leftist dogma.

              2. Well, to be fair, Europe’s political center is pretty far left of America’s. Merkel might be center-right in Germany, but she is still well to the left of Ryan.

                European liberal (as in classical liberal) parties still think a massive welfare state is great, just not as massive as the left likes.

            3. That tactic is totally going to work, too.

          3. Reading stories like this one on the budget, seems like it is already the case. Fiscally conservative Republicans are fighting with the Rinos to cut spending while Democrats are basically irrelevant.

            http://thehill.com/homenews/se…..nding-cuts

            1. I think you guys have forgotten that it was only 6 years ago that the democrats had filibuster proof control of the senate, overwhelming control of the house and the presidency. Things can realign faster than you can type.

              The only constant has been more state, more cronies, more power.

              Trump at this point seems to be the outlier. He actually does appear to be heading in a different direction. It may be a bad direction in a lot of cases, but at least it is different. That makes him kinda unique in modern politics, at least since Reagan, probably since Eisenhower.

      2. I simply can’t fathom identifying with any political party, especially the major ones. The whole goal for the major parties is to try to bring together enough disparate interests, no matter how much they might conflict, to create a ruling majority. Their party identity will shift according to whatever new interests they need to capture, so your loyalty to them isn’t doing crap for you.

        It’s best to sort out of your own political philosophy first. You can put your own term on it-in my case, “classical liberal,” and then try to suss out which candidates come the closest to representing you. I’d like to think Americans are independent enough to do this, but this whole election cycle was “vote for him/her because he/she is not as bad as him/her.”

    2. Excellent. This should complete the self-extermination of the DNC.

      1. The Bull Moose Party will be back to take its rightful place as the second primary party.

        1. The Trump-led version will be called the Bull Manure Party.

    3. Derp harder

      1. Derp Hard with a Vengeance

        1. Nice.

        2. Live Free or Derp Hard

          1. I think we know which one these folks have chosen.

            1. You have chosen…. poorly

              1. Hey, I know a “no true grail” argument when I see one. I’ve got my eye on you from now on.

    4. Democrats must provide “training” that focuses in part on teaching Americans “how to be sensitive and how to shut their mouths if they are white,” urged the executive director of Idaho’s Democratic Party, Sally Boynton Brown, who is white.

      Yeah, try to “train” me in your PC nonsense. Better people than you have failed.

      1. Yep, that’s the overriding problem in America right now. People just aren’t sensitive enough.

      2. “We need to train these crackers to shut up and do as we say!”

        Sure, sounds like a winning message to me.

      3. They have to play by the rules that they created. They don’t have any other options.

        1. It’s like they learned nothing from the show Lost. They painted themselves into a corner, so their only solution is more derp.

      4. you just can’t have this sort of event without a virtue signaling white woman or beta male. Maybe Boynton could take herown advice.

  4. About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.

    Well, bye.

    1. 1 in 3 Californians support seceding from California too, I would wager.

      1. And the other 1/3 are sick of getting polling calls.

    2. ?About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.

      If they do secede, can Texas kick out Californians because of improper visas and reduce the population of Austin by 70%?

      My gut tells me we are stuck with them.

      1. My gut tells me we are stuck with them.

        Not in Trump’s America!

        We’ll build a wall, then turn off the water. And send all their illegals back!

        1. It will be youge!

    3. Let’s see…

      Population of the U.S.: 318 million
      Population of California: 39 million (12.3%)

      U.S. national debt: $20 trillion
      California’s share: $2.5 trillion

      It’s a pity for them that unfunded liabilities can’t be used as currency.

      1. At least when they secede, they’ll be able to print their own currency. Their pension crisis is SOLVED!

        1. “How may I help you sir?”

          “I’d like a loaf of bread and a pint of milk.”

          “That’ll be 2 billion New California Pesos, sir.”

          “That is an outrageous price, your competitor only charges 1.5 billion!”

          “That must have been hours ago, sir, and by the way your milk and bread are now 2.1 billion.. 2.2 billion.”

          *Hurries up and pays*

  5. Finally some links that aren’t too early for the Best Coast.

    1. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH EASTERN STANDARD TIME RULES WESTERN STUPID TIME DROOLS

      1. That’s it, we’re seceding from time zones.

    2. The shores of Lake Michigan?

      1. Eww. There is more feces in one cup of Great Lakes water than there is in a cup of feces.

        1. I mean, yeah, everything organic is basically feces if you think about it.

  6. Brian Eno: ‘We’ve been in decline for 40 years ? Trump is a chance to rethink’

    Yes, he says, there is a positive way to look at it. “Most people I know felt that 2016 was the beginning of a long decline with Brexit, then Trump and all these nationalist movements in Europe. It looked like things were going to get worse and worse. I said: ‘Well, what about thinking about it in a different way?’ Actually, it’s the end of a long decline. We’ve been in decline for about 40 years since Thatcher and Reagan and the Ayn Rand infection spread through the political class, and perhaps we’ve bottomed out. My feeling about Brexit was not anger at anybody else, it was anger at myself for not realising what was going on. I thought that all those Ukip people and those National Fronty people were in a little bubble. Then I thought: ‘Fuck, it was us, we were in the bubble, we didn’t notice it.’ There was a revolution brewing and we didn’t spot it because we didn’t make it. We expected we were going to be the revolution.”

    1. Do you think he has even read any Rand?

      1. If he was sane he skipped the big speech.

        1. I think I read about 30 pages of it before thinking, “holy shit, I get it already. Nobody deserves another man’s labor without compensating said man.” and then skipping to the end of it. If anyone tells you they read the whole speech, they are probably lying.

          1. I did ,Fuck You

          2. I read the whole thing.

            It’s funny quoting parts of it to my lefty friends and have them nod in agreement at my apparently new found sense of reason. Then I tell them where it’s from and their faces melt with rage.

    2. I love how they blame Rand when pretty much every policy the US has is the opposite of what she argued for.

      1. Usually their understanding of Rand is “I tried reading Atlas Shrugged when I was in college but I thought it was bullshit.” In their shallow minds this makes them experts.

        1. I seriously doubt Eno has done even that. Rand is just a word you can throw around to prove you actually know nothing about political thought; see also “neoliberal”

        2. Usually their understanding of Rand is “I tried reading Atlas Shrugged when I was in college but I thought it was bullshit. everyone says she is evil and terrible and a bad writer, so that means she is an evil, terrible bad writer.

          1. Hard to argue with the ‘bad writer’ thing though.
            And yes I read her books when I was a young’n.

    3. How can anyone seriously believe that we’ve been suffering a conservative infection for the last 40 years? Has government shrunk in ANY western country over that period? The libertarian Utopia sure doesn’t look like what I expected.

      1. Growing slower than they’d prefer = shrinking.

      2. Shhhh, don’t wake the sleeping brain.

      3. Any leftward velocity less than “full Robespierre” is an unacceptable rightward shift.

    4. Eno comes off as a real ass in that interview. He suffers from the “I’m the smartest person in the room world” syndrome.

      1. Ambient 1: Ramblings for Airports

        1. More like Ambien.

    5. Truman Show for progs?

    6. Brian Eno: I’ve been irrelevant for 40 years

  7. China also couldn’t be happier to have the U.S. pull out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).

    I can’t make it work as a joke, but I just want to picture someone here saying, “Just the TPP.”

    1. “I am Cornholio, I need TPP for my bunghole.”

      1. [hands Eddie a copy of the TPP under the stall door]

    2. If you think China’s happy about Trump pulling out, Trump’s practically orgasmic.

    3. Help me out, if this is Trans Pacific, does that mean it is the dry land identifying as ocean?

      1. Heh, heh.

        I’m stealing this.

        1. That was quite good.

  8. Woman accused of smearing bananas on cars at Trump’s club

    A woman is being charged with sneaking onto President Donald Trump’s private Mar-a-Lago club shortly before his inauguration and smearing bananas on cars.

    Palm Beach, Florida, police say in a report released Monday that 48-year-old Kelly Weidman also typed a profanity about Trump on a Mar-a-Lago computer and moved outside some ballroom balloons a few hours before Trump was sworn-in Friday.

    She was confronted by security guards, who called police. She allegedly told officers she wanted to be arrested because no one was paying attention to her claim of being cyber attacked. She was charged with misdemeanor trespassing and released.

    Because Trump wasn’t at the ritzy club, the Secret Service wasn’t involved.

    1. 48-year-old Kelly Weidman also typed a profanity about Trump on a Mar-a-Lago computer and moved outside some ballroom balloons

      That BITCH!

    2. I thought you were supposed to put the banana in the tailpipe?

      1. That is barely even a euphemism.

        1. But it will always remain a memorable movie moment.

          1. At first i was thinking Requiem for a Dream, but you’re really talking about Deliverance, aren’t you.

            1. Now I’ve got images in my head of Ned Beatty backing up to Burt Reynolds while a crowd of rednecks cheers them on.

              Thanks for that.

              1. “Machines are gonna fail, then the system’s gonna fail, and then it’s who has the ability to survive? And that’s the game, Lana – survival.”

              2. “Ass to ass!”

            2. Beverly Hills Cop?

      2. Potato, moron.

    3. Is this the woman who did the same thing with peanut butter a few weeks ago?

      1. Damn, now i want a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

    4. She allegedly told officers she wanted to be arrested because no one was paying attention to her claim of being cyber attacked. She was charged with misdemeanor trespassing and released.

      this would be sadder if her same “pay attention to me” affliction were not also afflicting millions of otherwise healthy and younger woman

  9. Hamas threatens new violence against Israel if the U.S. moves its embassy to Jerusalem.

    I feel like they’re just striking at their usual target here, instead of the one moving its embassy.

    1. “Now Trump has gone and done it…Hamas is threatening to attack Israel!”

      1. Shit, that’s never happened before TRUMP!!11!!!!!

        1. Yeah, but this goes to 11.

    2. Well, they gotta spend the $121 million Obama sent them, right?

      It’s in their minutes and charter.

      1. Normally the $121 million goes to Switzerland, with like three fiitty spent on teaching people how to safely build and use bombs.

  10. I am really looking forward to California seceding from the states before Quebec secedes from Canada. I will brush up my terrible french just to read all the hand wringing.

    1. The Scots, Quebecers, and Californians – competing to see which can be the nation with the highest debt to population ratio in the world.

    2. Californian separatists have actually managed to make Quebec separatists look sane and logical in comparison. Which is…impressive I guess?

      1. Shut up, guys, they’re totally sane, rational, and can definitely make it on their own!!

        (I mean, yeah, sure, they’re not REALLY any of that, but don’t you guys want them to leave?? We should be encouraging them!!)

        Woo!! Go California!! You can do it!!

        (Please, please do it)

        1. but don’t you guys want them to leave?? We should be encouraging them!!

          As John and I have covered before, the long-term vision of the People’s Republic of California (a republic that would likely have many bits of the state break off to rejoin the U.S.) would likely end with China paying them off to station troops there, which is a whole mess no one wants (except China). California secedes, and hands the Republicans complete political domination, bad for leftists. Likely outcome of Californian independence necessitates military intervention or an extremely messy foreign policy issue, bad for Americans.

          Unless you’re Tom Kratman (who actively wants California to secede so the U.S. can justify annexation as a territory and eliminate their status as a state) Californian secession is just stupid.

          1. What’s irrational about Quebec is this. Canada is a semi-diversified branch plant economy of the United States (shhhh! Don’t say that because universal health care derp, derp, DERP!) with 85% of its trade tied to it. By this virtue, Canada’s economic well-being is attached to the USA. So for Quebec to detach itself from Canada is to make it even more vulnerable to American hegemony. They seem to think they will renegotiate better terms on their own without Ottawa in the way. Makes little sense to me since they have no leverage but this is what they seem to think.

            Quebec separatism is driven by race and language and little else.. The economic side is secondary to them.

            1. Oh, that’s the irrational side, but the rational part of Quebec separatism is the whole “we still want to use the Canadian dollar and be defended by the Canadian military” thing. Yes, it’ll never fly and helps to delegitimize them, but it’s at least a rational analysis of the situation, where Quebec probably shouldn’t have their own currency or military. Meanwhile, imagine California trying to run on the American dollar and get an overwhelmingly Republican America to promise to defend them. They’ll be totally unwilling to consider it (and the Union probably would refuse anyway), so here comes the constantly manipulated currency that goes Weimar in a couple years and a lack of military that ensures they’ll get rolled.

              1. Hey now! The California National Guard is a very robust and competent organization that totally would not get lost in the desert at FT Irwin.

                1. Unfortunately for California, the most robust and competent would likely end up part of the new state of Jefferson’s National Guard.

              2. Quebec is the teenager who wants to go rent an apartment but wants mom and dad to pay the rent and keep all the perks of living under their roof but in a different apartment.

  11. Kansas man admits robbing Kansas bank to escape wife

    Lawrence Ripple pleaded guilty Monday in Kansas City, Kansas, to a federal bank robbery count. He faces up to 20 years in prison.

    Court documents show that Ripple gave a Kansas City bank teller a note in September demanding cash and warning he had a gun. Ripple grabbed nearly $3,000, sat in the lobby and told a guard he was the “guy he was looking for.”

    An FBI agent says Ripple had argued with his wife earlier and told her in writing he’d “rather be in jail than at home.”

    1. What is this, a subplot that got cut from an episode of Justified?

        1. +4 kidneys (?)

    2. Consigned to house arrest with mandatory couple’s therapy twice a week.

      1. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

    3. Going from having a notch for a wife to being someone’s notch isn’t a good trade-off, as I see it.

      1. “Notch” was the autocorrect boy’s substitute word for what I really wrote, but I liked it so much I left it that way.

        1. Notchi fits so perfectly I figured it was deliberate.

  12. Westerners state that Sharia is incompatable with western values – are called islamophobes.

    Now ISIS declares Sharia is incompatable with Western Values.

    1. You know who else declared certain Middle Eastern cultures incompatible with Western values?

      1. Not Hitler, as he was pretty warm with the arabs. They also loved his Jew extermination idea from the get-go. There, I uncivilservanted for the day.

        1. Jews are a Middle Eastern culture. That’s the joke. GOD.

        2. Doyers, you been away? Haven’t seen very many of your comments in a while.

      2. Iskandar?

        1. I see what you did there.

      3. Quit trying to normalize Trump!!!!!!!!

      4. The Muslim Brotherhood?

        1. Don’t encourage them.

      5. Harvey Milk?

      6. Mohammed?

      7. Vespasian?

    2. I’m going to go all proggie logic here. Now if you say Sharia is incompatible with western values, you’re a terrorist sympathizer.

      1. Old joke.

        Jack and Max are walking to the church for the Sunday prayer..
        Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
        Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
        So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
        The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
        Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
        Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
        And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
        To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”

  13. Famed snake trackers from India latest weapon in Florida war on pythons

    In just two weeks this month, the two tribesmen from Southern India, working with the University of Florida, caught 14 pythons. That included a monster 16-foot female holed up in the ruins of the old Nike missile base on Key Largo.

    For perspective, consider last year’s second Python Challenge, an annual contest to draw attention to Florida’s python problem. The hunt attracted 1,000 hunters, most of them amateurs. Over a month, they managed to bag just 106 snakes. The year before, hunters snagged 68.

    “If we fall anywhere in that range, I’m going to be really happy,” said UF biologist Frank Mazzotti, who heads a team of researchers investigating pythons and other wildlife.

    The pilot project, being funded by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, is also relatively cheap: just $68,888 for two tribesmen and two translators for two months.

    1. DEY TUK R JERBS!!!

      /Swamp people

    2. DEY TUK R JERBS!!!

      /Swamp people

      1. DEY TUK R SQUIRRLEZ

        1. Maybe we need server pythons to root out the server squirrels…

          1. This always leads to 400 lb. server gorillas.

            1. And those guys will post anywhere that they want to!

    3. Once the pythons are gone then they’re just going to have to bring in something to rid themselves of the tracker infestation.

      1. OK, I LOLed at that one.

        It’s exotics all the way down.

    4. So, what’s the dividing line between a “tribesman” and a regular ethnic third-world person?

    5. To be fair, the open Python hunt was limited in the areas you could hunt.
      /bitter Python hunter

      1. Yeah, don’t you need a special license to hunt FL pythons?

        1. They’ve done Python challenges twice. Otherwise you need a license to hunt an invasive species. Good job FWC.

  14. Man Hides Guitar in Pants, Walks Out of Store: Police

    On Jan. 18, an unidentified man was captured on a security camera walking around the Guitar Center at 8957 Tehama Ridge Parkway.

    The man, wearing a dark-colored tracksuit with a bright orange vest, can be seen picking up the guitar and stuffing it underneath his clothes. After about 30 seconds, he walks away with his hands in his pockets.

    Police said he walked out of the store with a Tobacco Sunburst Fender guitar underneath his clothes. Investigators did not say what the guitar was worth, but Guitar Center’s website listed the price at $1,549.

    1. Is that a guitar in your pants or….oh, nevermind, you are under arrest.

      1. No need to fret about it.

        1. Obviously there were strings attached.

          1. Keith Richards paid his bail.

            1. That’s a bridge too far.

              1. I’ll call Uber for the pickup.

    2. Police: “Is that a whammy bar in your pocket or are you just glad to se- GUN!” BLAM BLAM BLAM

    3. Oh, FFS. You don’t give the make and the color without giving the model. Was is a tele or a strat?

      1. Surprise twist! It was a banjo.

        1. Sloopy’s gonna be MAD when he finds out….

          1. Maybe it was Sloopy?

        1. You’re right. The price tag was one I’ve seen for some of the fancier American Strats and Telecasters, but it could be Jaguar or a Jazzmaster even. Dammit, I need to know!

        2. After watching the video, I THINK it’s a Strat.

    4. I think Lord Humungus should just do the links from now on. They are much more entertaining and relevant.

    5. A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
      The judge says, “First offender?” The woman replies, “No, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

  15. Conclusive proof Bigfoot EXISTS? Footage claims to show ‘severed Sasquatch foot’

    Peter Caine, a dog-trainer and artist, uploaded the footage to YouTube and claims the limb has been frozen for more than 50 years.

    Mr Caine explains in his video that the mythical creature was shot by his father on December 23, 1953, when out hunting with a friend.

    The foot has been kept in a frozen tub since then to preserve it.

    In the video he says: “My father was hunting with his friend early in the morning and they said that the Bigfoot was running towards them. And it looked like it was going to kill them.

    “They had no other option so they shot at it.

    “They shot a warning shot in the air first and it kept coming.”

    “He said it was running across the swampy ground at 15mph with its big feet working as if they were a snow shoe.”

    1. Welp, Mr. Caine, your dad killed a dude.

      1. Or an upright bear. That’s my theory as to where the sasquatch idea comes from (if it wasn’t invented out of thin air) and what people see when they claim to see it (if they aren’t liars).

        1. That bear is awesome. “Oh, nothing much. Just taking a stroll.”

    2. STEVE SMITH ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO COUSIN BOB.

      1. WANT TOE? STEVE SMITH GET YOU A TOE. GET TOE BY 3 OCLOCK

        1. OH, STEVE GONNA GIVE YOU A BODY PART, ALRIGHT!

          /Spoiler: You are probably not gonna enjoy it.

          SPOILER: STEVE WILL ENJOY IT!

    3. Should be easy to test.

  16. Mel Gibson was also a surprise Best Director nominee for Hacksaw Ridge.

    It’s a long way back to redemption, sugar tits.

    1. You can’t shun a director for being an asshole…I mean, sure there are directors who aren’t, but they can’t sustain Hollywood by themselves.

    2. Imagine the awards he’d be nominated for if he had applauded Meryl Streep.

      1. Or raped a 13 year old?

  17. Transgender Activists Upset Over ‘White Cis Women March’

    Transgender activists are upset that the women’s march over the weekend was not inclusive to biological men who identify as women, as the protest presented an “oppressive message” that having a “vagina is essential to womanhood.”

    Saturday’s event to oppose the inauguration of Donald Trump was largely a “white cis women march,” with too many pictures of female reproductive organs and pink hats, according to trans women and “nonbinary” individuals interviewed by Mic.com.

    A fight is brewing between “trans-exclusionary radical feminists,” or “TERFs,” and transwomen, according to the article, “How the Women’s March’s ‘genital-based’ feminism isolated the transgender community.”

    The women’s march had an over-reliance on slogans and posters depicting gender norms, like using pink to represent women and girls, said some transgender activists who boycotted the march.

    1. The strategy of dividing people into smaller and smaller groups seems to be working perfectly!

      1. Ad yet somehow they’ll never wind up as individualists. The smallest minority is one, but it’s the one that it’s always okay to be against.

    2. Ha ha, keep it up, retards.

    3. Please prog harder.

    4. I’ve been expecting something like this for a while. I was actually hoping for a bigger deal sooner, since modern feminism is all about ignoring biological differences.

    5. Transgender activists are upset that the women’s march over the weekend was not inclusive to biological men who identify as women, as the protest presented an “oppressive message” that having a “vagina is essential to womanhood.”

      Yeah but biology is like, a social construct, man.

      1. It’s symbolic of his struggle against reality.

        These guys were wizards from the future.

    6. You almost have to wonder why they haven’t protested the TPP.

    7. Walking around in a vagina costume and talking about human dignity. Sounds legit.

    8. It’s really a weird time to be a feminist. I thought it was bad being pro-sex and pro-sex work, but evidently I gotta buy back into gender roles or I’m an evil TERF. I mean, I’m the kind of person who over-complies with recycling sorting, so I can handle pronouns and whatever because I just don’t care, but you can’t say anything about women without acknowledging transwomen. I kind of get why people are falling in line with this nonsense because it’s exhausting. How can I feel oppressed if I’m oppressing people? (this is a joke) (but seriously, some people who champion trans issues are just like “I’m not like other girls” girls who don’t get that the point is that girls are individuals FIRST.)

      Sorry to rant.

  18. China also couldn’t be happier to have the U.S. pull out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).

    Trump might start realizing early on that he actually sucks at this.

    Ha! Who am I kidding?

  19. ‘Mental Viagra’ on horizon as scientists boost lust signals in brain

    The hormone kisspeptin essentially switches on the desire to reproduce and is linked to feeling sexy, romantic and turned on. It is thought to be responsible for the voracious sexual appetite of young people.

    Now scientists at Imperial College London have found that an injection of kisspeptin can trigger chemicals in the brain which occur when people feel amorous and aroused.

    They believe that pills containing the hormone could one day be used to treat sexual problems which are psychological ? rather than physical.

    It could even help couples recapture the spark in a failing relationship.

    1. You don’t need to inject hormones. Just read some SugarFree stories and go to town.

    2. And here I thought it was called beer.

    3. More likely:

      It is the next party drug and will be placed as a schedule 1 with no medical value.

      1. Is this like the stuff they can supposedly spray on enemy soldiers to get them to hump each other instead of fight?

          1. Ewwww, no, the Geneva Convention specifically bans that.

    4. kisspeptin? I..uh..ok…

    5. The spam emails for BUY M3NTAL VI@GR@ begin in 3…2…1…

  20. The new weather satellite GOES-16 has sent some pretty awesome views of Earth and the moon back to us terrestrial-bound humans.

    Looks fake. You can see the strings.

  21. Richmond police seize stolen property they suspect was to be used to block interstate in anti-Trump protest

    They were rehearsing that shit but got caught. Be on the lookout for people cutting access holes in fencing near interstates and for people stealing traffic cones, barrels, etc.

    Also, pay attention to any changes to local and state laws about obstructing passage of people and blocking roads without a permit.

    1. Blocking the interstate is fucking dangerous.

      Man, these people are morons of the highest order.

      1. Remember, blocking highways is “nonviolent.”

      2. Not only to them (not that I care), but to motorists as well. I’m sickened by the people who claim that blocking roads, particularly interstates, is somehow a “peaceful” protest.

        1. Yeah, that is my point. I don’t really care if they get run over, Darwinism is fine by me, but they’re apt to cause an 18 wheeler to rear end a mini-van full of kids.

        2. I’m also curious as to how they think this protest is supposed to work. Blocking commuters is basically tantamount to saying “fuck you” which is not a very convincing form of argumentation.

  22. Anthony,
    You have failed on the A.M. links. You do not have a gorgeous head of hair to save you. One of you needs to be the adult and I’m having trouble seeing who it is.

    1. *quietly sets down rice paper, ink, quill and ceremonial knife*

      1. I didn’t post the links.
        The plebians bemoan my failure.
        It’s snowing on Mt. Fuji.

      2. Without morning links
        Hit & Run is in turmoil
        Clouds drift without wind

        1. I was dreaming dreams
          Of Robby’s hair on my neck
          Sorry I woke late

      3. My intentions are just
        yet my consciousness, heavy,
        for links are not ample.

      4. Fisher brings the links
        But half past 10 is too late
        Day already rekt

        1. I am proud of all of you.

          /Sensei

  23. n a meeting with congressional leaders, President Donald Trump once again asserts the “alternative fact” that millions of undocumented immigrants deprived him of a popular vote victory.

    Both sides of this argument: prove it.

  24. It’s not funny!

    Climate-change activist walking across U.S. barefoot killed by SUV

    A climate-change activist walking across the U.S. barefoot to raise money and draw attention to the environment was struck and killed by an SUV in Florida.

    Cops say Mark Baumer, 33, of Rhode Island was killed on a highway in the Florida panhandle.

    Charges are reportedly pending against driver Sonja Siglar, WEAR-TV reports. Booze has been ruled out as a factor.

    “Mark was an amazingly compassionate, empathic, humble, joyful, generous, mindful and caring person,” the green FANG collective wrote. “He was a talented poet and artist with an ability to tap into the human experience with his work.”

    Baumer had planned to document his trek. Saturday was his 101st day on the road.

    1. Life in Trump’s Amerikkka.

    2. One less unemployed hippie?

      1. The article says he was taking time off from his job at Brown University.

        1. They’ll just hire another hippie – so same end effect.

    3. Sad. Siglar was just trying to hit the giant python that was stalking him.

    4. SUV: Smack!

      SUV Driver: “Carbon credit!”

    5. It’s not funny!

      This is my trying-hard-not-to-laugh face.

    6. Apparently when you enter Florida, you become a “Florida Man…”

      I’m staying away from that place.

    7. Baumer hoped to raise $10,000 during his journey. After his death, the total hit $14,000.

      So… great success?

      1. That’s hardly enough to bury the guy, and no greenie would want to be cremated…

    8. Sad.

      But the irony.

      Ooof.

    9. Umm he was walking across America by going from RI to Florida?

      1. It’s too cold to walk barefoot across the north plains.

      2. It’s the scenic route.

  25. Men are stupid

    Roberto Esquivel Cabrera’s penis is so large that it can rest against his knee
    Doctors believe lifting weights with his member as a teenager caused the size
    A recent scan showed them that the bulk of his penis is actually just foreskin
    Reports claim 54-year-old has now been offered a role in a porn film in Prague

    1. You can’t fool me, that’s a guitar.

      1. Pretty sure it’d be a banjo.

    2. Uh oh, I sense a new exercise fad on the way.

  26. Women are stupid

    Courtney Barnes, from Miami, had silicone injections while working as a dancer
    The 32-year-old quickly became renowned for her sixty-inch bottom
    She quit her ‘traditional office job’ to become a model and webcam girl
    She now has 379,000 Instagram followers and an avid online following

    1. I’d say the “She now has 379,000 Instagram followers and an avid online following” is more men are stupid.

  27. “Mark was an amazingly compassionate, empathic, humble, joyful, generous, mindful and caring person,” the green FANG collective wrote. “He was a talented poet and artist with an ability to tap into the human experience with his work.”

    So he was functionally useless?

    And somehow FANG doesn’t evoke compassion and empathy.

    1. They sound like a cartoon villain organization.

      1. The Florida Air National Guard? They’re definitely villains.

  28. something deep dish something foreskins

    ‘The Atlantic’ Mourns That Women Aren’t Aborting Their Kids After Seeing Ultrasounds

    Ultrasounds have made it impossible for Americans to deny any longer that abortion destroys a human life. Ultrasounds show the reality of fetal development; heartbeat by week six is an obvious marker.

    Let’s play a game, leftists. It’s called: when is it okay to kill this baby?
    ? Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) October 6, 2016

    It’s no wonder that a reported 78 percent of pregnant women who see an ultrasound of their child say no to abortion. So, naturally, the left wants to put an end to ultrasounds. Planned Parenthood has fought 3D ultrasounds for years ? the amazing technology that allows you to see your child’s face before birth. As Dr. L. Lacroix of Planned Parenthood recently stated, “Abortion is a hard enough thing for any woman to decide without the torture of seeing the baby on an ultrasound screen.”

    1. As Dr. L. Lacroix of Planned Parenthood recently stated, “Abortion is a hard enough thing for any woman to decide without the torture of seeing the baby on an ultrasound screen.”

      I mean the woman has cars to buy that depend upon selling that child’s parts. How could you be so mean?

    2. If they really want to stop abortion, they should make a video of a 3D ultrasound while an abortion is taking place and make it required viewing in all public school sex education classes.

      Watching that vacuum powered wood chipper in action might change a few minds or even just scare a few kids into using protection at the least.

      1. That wouldn’t be a bad idea. Do it around age 16, little kids are psychopaths so you have to wait until they actually care about other humans, then you have informed consent for that generation. Ideally they could show the difference between aborting different age ranges. From the point it really is a blob of cells that gets taken out with morning after pills until the point it’s a baby.

    3. a new Marist poll shows that 83 percent of Americans agree with Trump’s actions here, that 52 percent of Americans want to limit abortion to rare cases, and that another 22 percent want to outlaw abortion after the first trimester. Under 40 percent of Americans think abortion is morally acceptable. And there is no gender gap on whether abortion is morally wrong, despite what the Women’s March organizers would have Americans believe.

    4. So, not just a bunch of cells?

      1. Sigh. Yes, just a ball of cells at the beginning and becoming increasingly more complex over time. Sorry that’s inconvenient for you.

        1. Also, I have never claimed that it is ALWAYS a bunch of cells, whereas fetus fanciers always try to leave you with the impression that it looks like a baby from the moment of conception.

        2. Technically you’re always just a ball of cells. With some bacteria and nematodes mixed in.

    5. As Dr. L. Lacroix of Planned Parenthood recently stated, “Abortion is a hard enough thing for any woman to decide without the torture of seeing the baby on an ultrasound screen.”

      OOPS!!! Cat’s out of the bag. She said “baby” instead of “fetus.”

      1. HA! good catch

      2. Yeah, that surprised me, too.

    6. Did she say “seeing the BABY on an ultrasound screen”? That’s quite the admission.

    7. Dr. L. Lacroix has apparently not read the memo circulated by PP re: proper clinical nomenclature. It’s a fetus, never a baby.

    8. ‘The Atlantic’ Mourns That Women Aren’t Aborting Their Kids After Seeing Ultrasounds

      If your link actually went to the Atlantic story, people might see it was about how viewing ultrasounds doesn’t have that effect on women.

      But you wouldn’t want that.

      1. Here’s the Atlanic piece in all its glory. It does indeed claim that viewing an ultrasound has no impact on the likelihood to abort. But the study itself concludes:

        Voluntarily viewing the ultrasound image may contribute to a small proportion of women with medium or low decision certainty deciding to continue the pregnancy; such viewing does not alter decisions of the large majority of women who are certain that abortion is the right decision.

        Boy, are there some choice passages in the piece itself:

        Ultrasound made it possible for the male doctor to evaluate the fetus without female interference.

        That’s one of the highlighted quotes. This one is fun:

        In 1991, the feminist writer Susan Bordo would observe that ultrasound images had played a key role in reducing the status of mothers to “fetal incubators.”

        And finally, the crowning achievement:

        Like many other uses of this technology across history, The Heartbeat Protection Act enlarge [sic] the fetus in the public eye, while edging women out of the picture.

        Fun fact: women make up 51% of “the public”.

        Note: none of the links in the article work. You have to strip the “mailto:” prefix from them.

        1. All that having been said, I’m not a proponent of “forced ultrasounds” (libertarian and all that). Also, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with the proposition that, on net, legally compelled ultrasounds result in fewer abortions. It might discourage some abortions and encourage others. As sickening as it is to think that somebody would have an abortion out of spite or pique, not liking it doesn’t make it not happen.

    9. I think it would be a great law that women having an abortion have to watch 15 minutes of their 3d ultrasound before signing the paperwork. I mean, it would throw a bone to the pro-life crowd and since the fetus is just a clump of cells or even an uninvited parasite, what’s the harm in watching some video? We could mandate the same viewing be required before treating for ringworm, wart removal, and tumor operations.

      1. “Are you sure you want to have this teratoma removed from your chest? Look, it’s got hair and teeth and a rudimentary skeleton…”

  29. About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.

    And two in three of everyone in the other 49 states.

    Not the third guy, though. He’s a Californian expat.

  30. About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.

    How many non-Californians support this? Fucking go already.

  31. Zen Master: “show me the face you had before, you were born.

    Novice: Sure. *pulls out 3D ultrasound print*

    1. *walks rice paper that you laid down upthread*

      1. *leaves heavy marks*

  32. About one in three Californians support seceding from the union, up from one in five in 2014.

    Awesome. 56 more states to go.

  33. Ex gang member executed after Obama commutes sentence.

    Police say two masked gunmen with assault-style rifles entered a federal halfway house Monday night with a specific goal: the “execution” of a man recently released from prison at the behest of former President Barack Obama.

    1. Why the hell would they put ‘executed’ in quotation marks? that’s exactly what they did.

      *and yes, i know what some of you will say about me and my own overuse

      1. I’m going to start putting my “quotation marks” in random “places”.

        1. preemptive GFY in effect

      2. Why the hell would they put ‘executed’ in quotation marks?

        “Execution” is a legal action, and most gangs don’t have the authority to perform them?

    2. If only we had stronger gun laws he’d still be alive today.

    3. I’m kinda surprised that this guy made the cut for commutation. My client had just a sniff of gang affiliation, and he couldn’t get through the 2nd round of vetting, let alone to the DoJ for actual consideration.

  34. Hamas threatens new violence against Israel if the U.S. moves its embassy to Jerusalem.

    They probably aren’t bluffing. Obama gave them something like $231 million on his last day in office. Does one really need to wonder whether that money will be used for humanitarian aid or weaponry?

    1. Well, they should use it for weaponry, because if you’re oppressed you should be able to kill as many Jews… I mean Israelis… as you want! – American college students

      1. $231 million buys a lot of old trucks and knives.

    2. No, that was for Abbas’s retirement account, not Haniyeh’s. Different kleptocrat.

    3. $231. My error up thread.

  35. Say what you will about Mel Gibson, but that sonuvabitch knows story structure.

    1. My nipples hurt when I twist them!

      1. When you’re a clown…..

  36. In a meeting with congressional leaders, President Donald Trump once again asserts the “alternative fact” that millions of undocumented immigrants deprived him of a popular vote victory.

    I guess alternative fact means something you don’t want to be true. Given the complete lack of voter ID laws in California and the huge Latin turnout there, I don’t see how you can dismiss this as being untrue. Do we know it is true? No. But we don’t know it is false either.

    So what makes it an alternative fact other than it is a possibility that offends Fisher’s delicate sensibilities? Nothing. Mr. Fisher, this is an example of why the county is so fed up with the media and journalists in particular.

    1. They refuse to allow any mechanism to ensure that illegals don’t vote, or any possible way to check and see if they do, then claim the opposition has no proof that illegals vote.

      Yeah, I see a problem with that. Are people like Fischer stupid, or do they just think we are?

      1. Both. They live in a giant fart bubble where some facts just can’t be true.

    2. It’s highly unlikely that over 3m illegals both participated in the California election and voted for Hillary; that would meant that over 1/3 of her support was from illegal immigrants. I have no doubt that some illegals voted, but certainly not that many.

      Now, was the popular vote margin due to lax voter ID laws in the majority of the nation? That I think is a much more likely proposition. I have a few ideas as to how we could estimate that, but I’m not going to bother with all that work for this trivial matter.

      1. I don’t think we have enough information to say how likely it is. We just don’t know. So treating it as a “lie” is dishonest.

        1. California has the largest number of illegal immigrants in the United States, with an estimated 2.4 million unauthorized immigrants making up about 6.3 percent of the state’s total population, according to the Pew Research Center.

          Estimate is from 2014, but I doubt it’s grown by a huge amount since then considering that the immigrant-heavy industries aren’t exactly growing like gangbusters right now. I just don’t see how it’s possible unless you think that a bunch of seasonal transients stuck around just long enough to vote against Trump.

          1. Illegal immigrants are all over the country. California is just where there are a lot of them and has very lax voter laws. There are over 11 million illegal immigrants in this country over the age of 18. Is it impossible to think that the various get out the vote Hispanic organizations got 3 million of them to vote or got 3 million votes out of them by a combination of them voting and some voting twice? I don’t think so.

            1. It’s not impossible, but it’s so unlikely that it requires a bit of proof before making the assertion. I mean, that would take a ton of effort on the part of the organizations. And if you were in this country illegally would you want to risk deportation just to cast a meaningless vote?

      2. Looking at illegal immigrants is a red herring anyway. It doesn’t matter who casts an illegal vote, it’s still an illegal vote. A citizen who casts votes under two different names is no better than an illegal immigrant who casts one vote.

        That having been said, there is precious little evidence for or against the proposition that this is widespread or has affected a national election outcome. Even if you reduce Clinton’s vote margin in California by a couple million, the state still goes handily to Clinton which nets her the same 55 electoral votes.

    3. Yeah, “alternative fact” in this case isn’t really a euphemism, since I haven’t seen a reliable source for definitive facts here.

      But if Reason wanted to set it to rest with some actual investigation rather than globalist sneering, it seems like the obvious thing to do would be to compare Hillary turnout in CA with turnout in deep blue states with a much smaller illegal population, using federal estimates of eligible voting population to normalize the comparison. If CA is about the same, Trump is probably wrong (or else it just balanced out a drop in normal Democrat votes). If CA is much higher, then there may be something sketchy going on.

      1. That would require analytical skills far beyond those provided by the reason staff’s liberal arts majors. And worse, it might produce a result that doesn’t fit the narrative. And no one wants that.

  37. https://www.fws.gov/policy/do219.html

    Obama’s last EO bans lead ammo on federal lands. I’ve been trying to get my hands on some of that new zinc stuff. A bit harder than lead. Can’t recast it without a proper furnace.

    Hunting on federal land with firearms basically illegal now in CA as that state bans non-lead ammo as “armor piercing”.

    1. There is not a single ounce of science supporting the idea that lead shot is bad for the environment or wildlife. But remember Liberals fucking love science.

      1. Ah, the old lead scare. I remember a brief episode here in Minnesoda where the DNR tried to scare hunters with the specter of lead in venison.

        It is crazy that people think that the lead shot scattered in the Badlands of western NDak can somehow become lethal.

        1. You have to wonder where they think all this lead is coming from. It’s not like it magically appears in the ammo factory.

    2. Even steel buckshot, birdshot, etc?

    3. “Hunting on federal land with firearms basically illegal now in CA as that state bans non-lead ammo as “armor piercing”

      Feature, not bug.

      1. I am a total ignoramus when it comes to firearms, but I was under the impression that lead is used because it deforms and rattles around rather than piercing cleanly through.

        1. Nope.

          It is used because it is easy to cast and does less damage to rifling than harder metals. It’s also cheaper than copper.

        2. Lead is used because it is more dense than other materials, while still being inexpensive. More energy.

          Depleted uranium bullets are where it’s at.

        3. I retain the title belt for being wrong about absolutely everything.

  38. Fucking liberals are ruining everything. You can’t even punch a 14 year old suicidal girl who is handcuffed without getting in trouble anymore.

    A girl at a shelter for sexually abused children is threatening suicide. Cops are called and hilarity ensues. St. Paul acted swiftly to put the hero on paid vacation and I’m sure this is one of those situations where in 4 months the charges will be quietly dropped.

    Props for the cop’s lawyer for not shirking from his duty to call out that punk teenager:

    Soucheray’s attorney, Peter Wold, said the officer used reasonable force, and the charge is based on “a self-defense reaction to a screaming, threatening subject immediately after she had committed a felony assault on officer Soucheray by intentionally spitting her saliva into his face.

    “Officer Soucheray pushed her away by striking her with such little force that not even a mark appeared on her in the booking photo of her taken within an hour of the incident,” Wold said. ” … officer Soucheray regrets the attention this political reaction may bring to his fellow officers at the St Paul Police Department and does assure them that he will defend himself vigorously against this unfortunate action.”

  39. Thanks to everyone who has already responded.

    Hit and Run Public Service Announcement

    OK groovers, given that the next four years will be full of boring arguments about Trump and accusations of bad faith, TDS, and general lunacy, it seemed a good idea to get a record of how Hit ‘n’ Runners will mark Trump.

    If you want to play, you have to set out:

    (A) What Trump would have to do to be even a semi-success in your eyes

    AND

    (B) What Trump would have to do to be even a semi-failure in your eyes

    Put your answers here, or email them to invisiblefurryhand@gmail.com

    I’ll post this message every day this week, and then collate the answers and share the doc next week. You can then use this as a way to keep track of people’s positions (and your own) so we don’t get to pretend we had different criteria four years down the track.

    1. Success includes:

      – Reform and simplify the individual and corporate tax codes. Get rid of taxes on foreign earnings.
      – Market based Healthcare reforms
      – Reduce size, scope, and cost of federal government. At least slow the growth of the national debt.

      End Result – Economy grows at +3% while government spending doesn’t.

      Failure includes:

      – Letting Paul Ryan screw up the tax code and healthcare
      – Going on a defense and infrastructure spending spree – particularly without any major reform in the DoD.

      End Result – government grows at a faster rate than the economy.

    2. reposted for ur convenience

      A) =

      Basically, all success requires is “marginally better than Obama”… and all that needs is ‘reduce needless interventions abroad’, and ‘ameliorate the stupid big-government programs Obama helped enable’ (e.g. the ACA and a variety of other regulatory-state seedling-programs, the CFPB, Dodd Frank, various Energy/Climate boondoggles, etc)

      anything else is gravy. the bar is so low that i think it would be a major shame if he didn’t get most of that in a first term.

      B) if he generates any major legislation (aside from a Obamacare “fix”) that creates new govt agencies/mandates. The real task he has is to kneecap the ones Obama put in place. I think there is likely to be some minor military skirmishing (the anti-jihidi stuff is going to be near perpetual for the rest of my life), but if he sticks his dick deeply into any new source of conflict, that would also be an instant fail. Also maybe add, “any Yuge scandal”. Its Ok if when bannon is discovered to have a closet full of severed prostitute-parts, but if he tries funnelling like a few hundred million to a golf buddy (when Obama does it for the palestinians, its ok), well, I think that’s probably not ‘failure’, but will hurt badly.

      for clarity – i don’t think his likely continuation of military fuckery is a disqualifier; its would require taking things to a higher level than “proxy war + drone-killing”.

      1. Thanks GILMORE, very kind of you. Yours is the only entry so far that mentions severed prostitute-parts, a phrase I shall try to sneak into at least one conversation today

        1. Hookers. When they’re dead they’re hookers. /Archer

    3. and share the doc next week

      I’m not a piece of meat, yanno.

      1. I heard what you’ll do for a billable hour.

      2. Not yet. Currently you are breeding stock for your missus. Only once she has drained you of your precious bodily fluids will you be a piece of meat. And no-one would share what they can rent out or sell.

    4. Success.

      Deregulation at a faster rate than re-regulation.
      Lower the corporate income tax.
      No more foreign wars and an end to the ones we are already in.
      The death of identity politics.

      Failure.

      Protectionist trade policy.
      Debt increases
      More foreign entanglements.

      1. Success: Repeal ACA, lower corporate tax, de facto moratorium on regulation even if only due to slow-walking by department heads rather than any real commitment to deregulation.

        Failure: capitulating to Dems on ACA provisions for votes; capitulating to Dems on SCOTUS nom for quick bipartisan vote; securing border fence by capitulating to Dems on either of the above.

    5. Success: Cutting the size of government in real terms. That means a smaller budget AND fewer employees AND fewer laws and regulations.

      Failure: Not cutting the size of government. That means a larger budget OR more employees OR more laws and regulations.

      An astounding success would be a significant cut in government, say 10% in any category. And if Trump’s at all successful in bringing jobs and economic prosperity back to America, shouldn’t people be less dependent on government and therefore make it that much easier to cut the cost and size and scope of government?

      We’re not even going to pretend that Trump’s assertion that he knew how to easily pay off the national debt in 10 years was anything other than an acid dream.

    6. Eh, there will be both “successes” and “failures” from a libertarian perspective. I’ll call the Presidency itself a “success” if, on net, there are more positive developments for liberty (lots of others have posted good examples) than negative ones (ditto).

      1. Something not particularly libertarian or unlibertarian that I’d like to see is a balanced budget without raising taxes. Revenue growth for the Federal government has been very strong. There’s no excuse to increase spending even faster than revenue, especially as the previous justifications of “two simultaneous wars” and “economic recession” are (officially, at least) gone.

    7. I’ll try to re-post this earlier in tomorrow’s links, in case you don’t see this one. A combination of work and Central Standard Time means I usually don’t get to these until late, when I eat lunch.

      My criteria are much simpler than most folks’ here, since I know a lot more about political philosophy than I do the snake-filled weeds that are actual policy.

      Success if two or more of the following are true, failure if fewer than two are true:
      – Leaves office with fewer federal regulations on the books than when he entered
      – Leaves office with fewer wars being waged than when he entered
      – Leaves office with the federal government spending less than when he entered

      I am very disappointed that this comment system can’t even handle HTML unordered lists.

    8. Success: A return to a strictly Constitutionally constrained executive branch, judicial appointments that reflect this.

      Realistic success: Spending cuts, shrinking the executive bureaucracy, at least one SCOTUS pick who can read and comprehend most of the Constitution and rule accordingly.

      Failure: Bureaucracy bloat, more spending, SCOTUS picks acceptable to 4+ of the following Senators: Schumer, McConnell, Feinstein, McCain, Warren, Graham, and Harris.

    9. (A) In keeping Hillary’s sorry ass out of the Oval Office chair he’s already a success in my eyes, but if I had to pick something more going-forward it would be appointing at least one staunch defender of the 1st and 2nd Amendments to SCOTUS. (B) would be his failing to do so.

  40. Sure, we can let California go. But only if each and every county votes on whether it wants to stay. In which case San Diego and Orange Counties remain part of the US while everything north and east of Sacramento secedes and forms the state of Jefferson. The agricultural counties in the central valley might also want to stay.

    1. Letting California go is like letting your 20 year old profoundly disabled kid get an apartment. Yeah, part of you wants him out of the house and to no longer have the burden of caring for him but you can’t do it. It would just cause you more problems in the long run than it would solve.

      1. Meh, just have to build another wall.

      2. But the kid is good looking.

        1. That will just make him more attractive to the Chinese pimps looking to take advantage of him.

    2. My thought too. The coastal strip from LA County through Sonora or Napa Counties can go. Good luck. And that Hetch Hetchy water might get more expensive.

  41. http://www.bloomberg.com/polit…..-pipelines

    Trump going to approve Keystone and Dakota pipelines. The terrorists have won apparently.

    1. It’s a gift to the environuts. If they had succeeded in blocking it permanently, what would they use for fundraising?

    2. How far are the Canukistanis with their west coast pipline they were going to build?

      1. Not very. The crews kept getting attacked by White Walkers.

        1. I told you that strain of Meth was a bad idea.

  42. I’m guessing that since I’m late to the party today and Tundra hasn’t posted this yet that he is still trying to get over his hangover caused by drinking too much after Gov. Mumbles faints during his State of the State speech.

    The video is great. If you dig real hard you can find other video of him stumbling as he entered the room and nearly fainting.

    For years, there have been rumors that Dayton is heavily medicated for any number of ailments. The media has never tried too hard to dig into the rumors though. I’m sure that they will accept whatever excuse he puts out today for why he collapsed.

    1. Dehydration. At least, that’s what they were claiming last night.

      1. It worked for Hillary!

      2. “Dehydration” is the “irreconcilable differences” of medical issues.

        1. Nope. “Generalised Weakness NOS” gets that title, followed closely by “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome”.

          “Acute Dehydration” can be determined by a simple chem panel and a UA. If he’s consistent with AC, then he had a hypovolemic shock episode and took a tumble. That one can fit the S/S pattern, and it may not take much for him to display if he’s heavily medicated or has other remarkable medical issues.

          Personally, my fave idiopathic DX is, “Miscellaneous, Unspecified”

      3. I thought dehydration was the excuse for his collapse last year. I hadn’t heard any reason for why he collapsed this time. And the media doesn’t seem to be pushing too hard to find out exactly what is wrong with him.

        The 69-year-old Democrat had been addressing lawmakers Monday night at the Capitol in St. Paul when he paused for a sip of water.
        He briefly resumed speaking — touting the success of the Affordable Care Act and MNSure, the state’s health care marketplace — before he slumped onto the lectern.

        Maybe God thought a lightning bolt would be too destructive to the newly remodeled capitol building so he just made him faint for telling such big whoppers about the “success” of MNSure.

        1. He briefly resumed speaking — touting the success of the Affordable Care Act and MNSure, the state’s health care marketplace — before he slumped onto the lectern.

          Time for the Dearth Panel, right IPAB?

    2. I had to follow the link to make sure some idiot state didn’t elect Mumbles Menino.

  43. “Mark was an amazingly compassionate, empathic, humble, joyful, generous, mindful and caring person,” the green FANG collective wrote. “He was a talented poet and artist with an ability to tap into the human experience with his work.”

    Not very bright, though.

  44. Last night I watched a documentary called “Civilian Soldier” – about an Oklahoman National Guard unit sent to Afghanistan in 2011. The filmmakers used a lot of footage from the soldier’s helmets, so it gets pretty intense during the firefights. Some very sad moments too as the soldiers deal with the loss of their friends.

    Trailer

    Oddly enough IMDB gives it a 5.5 while Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 86% / 80%. I would go with the latter.

    1. IMDB gives it a 5.5

      fact = ISIS is all over IMDB votes.

    2. Really? I generally look at the critic reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and do the opposite. Works pretty well for the most part.

    3. Oddly enough IMDB gives it a 5.5

      Note that there are only 289 votes right now, and of the actual written-out reviews, all of them rate it highly except for one that has no rating and just rants about how “war is an economy” and the camera was shaky (… yeah).

  45. You’ll have to search it, since the NYT does not allow linkage, but the headline is:

    “‘Basic Economy’ Airline Service Squeezing Business Travelers”
    Some have resorted to paying for an upgrade out of their own pocket!!!!!
    And offering a lower -priced product, allowing more people to fly is ‘a race to the bottom’. Really.

    1. Sedate passengers and stack ’em like cordwood.

      1. Air line travel would literally become a pain in the ass.

  46. I’m surprised there’s no link for Trump letting Comey stay on at the FBI.

    PAYOFF!

  47. Hard to imagine how much better off this country would be without California. While you’re at it take New York, Illinois, Michigan with you. And Washington state and Oregon are on a very short leash (but I would hate to give up that beautiful scenery).

    1. I don’t get why the whole states need to secede. Just let them have their city-states, we’ll build the walls for them. They’ll call it freedom from the oppressors that want to leave other people alone, we’ll call it quarantine.

      1. +1 Escape from LA

    2. I think the real hope for us here in Cali that want no part of America’s military industrial complex or its racist campaigns against immigrants is for us to be so unpleasant that you guys in the increasingly poor and ignorant South and Midwest to lobby to kick us out. I really don’t feel the zeitgeist in California is really going that way–despite the obvious advantages.

      1. Yeah, be an independent country sitting on huge natural resources, no military to speak of and then go bankrupt to the Chinese. Good luck with that. California would end up a Chinese protectorate within a decade. Hong Kong would have more sovereignty that California.

        1. Not going to happen, the United States itself will not allow California to remain independent for long, mostly due to the obvious military and foreign policy issues you cite. California goes independent, America cuts off water and electricity supplies from their side of the border. If starving them out doesn’t work the military campaign to take the coast would last a week and probably be easier than Iraq.

          1. They would never be allowed to leave in the first place. You can’t leave unless Congress allows you. We settled that issue for better or worse by having a civil war about the subject.

            1. I meant in the sense if California went full ‘fuck Congress’ and just tried to declare independence without approval. Ignoring Congress alone gives the U.S. the casus belli for re-annexation.

              1. A modern day Sherman marching through California would be glorious spectacle.

      2. And a Chinese protectorate is the best case scenario for California Independence. The worst case is Venezuela.

      3. California socialist|1.24.17 @ 11:40AM|#
        “I really don’t feel the zeitgeist in California is really going that way–despite the obvious advantages.”

        That’s because you’re an imbecile.

        1. And this is why the US could never let California go its own way. Its like letting your retarded kid get their own apartment. It won’t end well for anyone.

          1. You mean you’d have a rich and prosperous country at peace with its neighbors that ripped out its wall on the southern border that had universal access to health care and cradle-to-grave social security. Yeah, that might be bad. People might start to compare and contrast. And you guys wouldn’t want that.

            1. California socialist|1.24.17 @ 11:53AM|#
              “You mean you’d have a rich and prosperous country at peace with its neighbors…”

              You mean like Venezuela?
              Your fantasies have a habit of turning murderous.

            2. California isn’t rich or prosperous. It has public debts that cannot be paid. It has an unemployment rate a full half of a percent above the national average. Its labor force participation rate is also about a half of a percent lower than the national average. It has lost over 5 million residents over the last 10 years. That is American citizens leaving the state looking for better economic prospects.

              And once you get rid of the US nuclear umbrella and the CPB and law enforcement at the border, there will be nothing peaceful about it as China and the Mexican drug gangs move in like lions on a sick wildebeest.

              1. Doesn’t it also have the highest poverty rate when adjusted for cost of living?

            3. Really, really trying hard for that ‘dumber than Quebec separatists’ status aren’t you?

              you’d have a rich and prosperous country

              You mean the United States?

              at peace with its neighbors

              You mean the United States?

              Oh, you meant in your fantasy utopia. Ignoring the fact that the more likely outcome is a corrupt, crippled and debt ridden rump-state that actively has fairly hostile relations with the United States due to the whole ‘secession and representing two competing ideologies’ thing, independence wouldn’t last a month before re-annexation. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mexico took at shot at you too, if the U.S. allowed it.

            4. You mean you’d have a rich and prosperous country at peace with its neighbors that ripped out its wall on the southern border that had universal access to health care and cradle-to-grave social security. Yeah, that might be bad. People might start to compare and contrast. And you guys wouldn’t want that.

              Aside from (maybe) the southern wall, what keeps you guys from having that right now?

              All you have to do in order to induce utopia-envy in the rest of the country is to pass a massive welfare-state bill through your legislature. Oh, and stop accepting federal money of course.

              Why wait until you can leave? Show us now.

      4. us here in Cali that want no part of America’s military industrial complex

        “I want to be an independent nation with a poor military that borders the country I see as war-mongering and jingoistic.”

        Get ready to get rolled.

        1. A couple months ago amsoc was bragging about how much military manufacturing takes place in California. Even a foolish consistency is too much to ask of the dumbass.

      5. “the increasingly poor and ignorant South and Midwest”

        You do a pretty good job of projecting.

        1. To them, poverty is having a decent-paying non-union job.

          Wealth is having no job to speak of while collecting welfare.

      6. want no part of America’s military industrial complex

        How are you going to develop the bombs that you want to have dropped on Islamic fascists if you don’t have a military production capacity?

        You never think these things through.

        racist campaigns against immigrants

        The U.S. has probably admitted more immigrants over the last 50 years than all of Europe combined. Tell me, when California has to pay the entire cost of its own welfare state, how likely is it that they will admit an unlimited number of immigrants without regard to economics? If every country you want to emulate is any indication, “very unlikely” is the answer.

      7. The only true part of this whole steaming puddle of vomit is that Californians are indeed “so unpleasant” to regular people.

  48. How does this end exactly? What happens when you have an impoverished population that keeps voting to give more and more capital and wealth to a tiny rich elite? It’s like the anti-Panem, where the districts aren’t coerced into sending their resources to the capital district, but instead do it willingly in the hopes that the bright spectacles of the nation (the Super Bowl, the World Series, its cheezy reality shows) will somehow transform them. Hey, maybe a couple of them will win the lottery or get on The Price is Right.

    1. What happens? You end up with California. The place goes tits up and becomes a ward of the nation as everyone except the super rich and those to poor to get out flea the state.

      1. Then the big earthquake comes and the entire West Coast slips into the sea, and a thousand years from now some philosophizing asshole uses them as an example of hubris.

        1. It wouldn’t slip into the sea. But when the next big one comes and it will, California will be entirely broke and unable to take care of itself. It will be Katrina with better weather.

          1. How will they blame the quake on Bush?

            1. Global warming.

          2. Maybe not permanently, but one good tsunami…

        2. I always thought Tool was way ahead of their time.

    2. California socialist|1.24.17 @ 11:34AM|#
      “What happens when you have an impoverished population that keeps voting to give more and more capital and wealth to a tiny rich elite?”

      Dunno. Why don’t you keep beating that straw man for a while; it’s amusing.

    3. Hey cali if you want to have your name back pay up shit head

      1. Fat chance; he’ll expect someone else to pay for it.
        “California parasite” is far more descriptive.

        1. Lol.

          The clown dropped his name for whatever reason i think due to the amsock and now im squatting on it. He asked if he could have it back yesterday

          1. That is hilarious. He’s not gonna be able to pay for it, of course, unless you accept sexual favors.

    4. And they say California is a ‘bell weather’ for shit.

  49. What Trump would have to do to be even a semi-success in your eyes

    What I would like to see (attributive causation aside) is a resurgence in new business formation.

  50. What happens when you have an impoverished population that keeps voting to give more and more capital and wealth to a tiny rich elite?

    Imbecilic premise is imbecilic.

    1. Catholics in the 3rd world?

    2. I thought he was describing California. When you look at places like the Central Valley and then compare them to the super rich in the Bay Area and LA, that is exactly the picture you get.

      1. So did I. I thought he was pointing out the fatal flaw of socialism. Is the guy Amsoc? If so, it would explain the cognitive dissonance.

        1. Yes cali is amsoc. I confiscated his name

      2. This weirded me out too, Cali has some of the highest economic inequality in the world.

    3. And even more so for thinking it’s brilliant.

    4. “Not taking from” is the same thing as “giving to,” if you’re a certain type of moron.

  51. I have news from an inside source with the Atlanta Falcons. After much high-level consultation, the Falcons have developed a plan to win the Superbowl by scoring more points than the New England Patriots. In the unlikely event that there may be a sufficient number of obstructionists within the Patriots organization to thwart this plan, well, the Falcons failure will be on those obstructionist Patriots rather than on the Falcons. The Falcons are confident that their plan is foolproof and in the event it fails nobody will be crass enough to suggest that a plan that does not take into account that there’s another party involved intent on thwarting the plan is not much of a plan. Either way, the Falcons get the glory of winning or the Patriots get the ignominy of being obstructionists.

    1. That, or the Patriots will find some new way to cheat?

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