Donald Trump Sworn In This Morning, Protesters Swarm D.C., El Chapo in Court in Brooklyn: A.M. Links

|

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

Advertisement

NEXT: Bill to put one state's Judicial Conduct Commission under military control

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. I consider this a final slap in the face to Obama.

    1. Hey, an appropriate number of links, a sort of on-time posting, and alt text for the picture! Not bad.

      1. Picture takes up too much of the wolumn width and crowds the text, points off for composition.

        1. alt text for the picture

          INCORRECT alt text. It’s still Obumbles Amerika until the nooner.

          1. *gentle caress*

            1. What, no polite reacharound?

              1. Not until he finishes.

              2. *backhand slap*

      1. Sigh. We miss you Rick James.

    2. I’m ready for the inauguration. I have plenty of ammunition and also several cans of fuel to trade in the unending nightmare wasteland that will be what once was the great nation of the United States of America.

      1. If you own firearms then you should be in the group celebrating the day!

        1. Need to call broker and short Smith and Wesson stock.

        2. One man’s ‘unending nightmare wasteland’ is another man’s party.

    3. I’m not going to be able to fully relax until the swearing-in is complete. A small part of me is still worried Obama might try to proclaim himself Dictator for Life at the last second.

      1. He’ll grab the crown and place it on his own head.

      2. Well, he *does* have a pen and a phone.

      3. Haha! Mikey, you’re so dumb it’s startling.

        1. I don’t know if I’d say startling. It’s been pretty obvious for quite a while now.

          1. There are unplumbed depths to his idiocy, though. You think he’s reached the bottom of the barrel, and it turns out there’s another barrel under there.

            1. It’s barrels all the way down.

              1. “My God! There is no bottom to this barrel!”

        2. I know how sad and depressed you are today. Give me a P.O. box or something and I’ll ship you a box of tissues for all those salty ham tears.

          1. Thanks for looking out, but i’m fine today. You, on the other hand, continue to be retarded. Tell you what, i’ll send you some crayons if you promise not to eat them this time, okay?

            1. “I pooped colors!”

            2. But…but the red ones taste like cherry!

            3. Telling him not to eat them is just begging him to cram them up his nose.

              1. +1 Homer

            4. Bullshit. You woke up this morning in the middle of the dream of sucking your Obamessiah’s cock the same way you start off every morning, only today the tears were streaming down your face harder than ever.

      4. So what’s gonna happen to Mike at 11:30? Will he transcend to a state of pure energy? Will he achieve nirvana?

        1. He’ll be in the hospital by then, due to dehydration from jacking it too hard.

        2. His birth cry will be the sound of every cell phone on this planet ringing in unison.

    4. Hello.

      COUNT DOWN TO ARMAGEDDON!

      DEATH OF DIGNITY!

      1. IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

        DOO DOO DOO DOO

        DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

        1. Yes, but where did the lighter fluid come from?

      2. Nothing is more dignified than having a childish tantrum because your candidate lost an election.

        1. If not childish tantrums, what are Democrats supposed to do at this point to signal their virtue? Have some humanity and pretend what they’re doing is noble and just already.

    5. How can she slap?

  2. A parade follows Trump’s inaugural address Friday afternoon, and Inauguration-related activities continue throughout the weekend.

    And then, destruction.

    1. The countdown has ended.
      Trumpocalypse has arrived.
      Diaper up, America world!
      This is not a drill

    2. Choose the form of the Destructor!

      1. Dammit, someone picked Trigglypuff!

          1. I choose Lobster Girl!

    3. First the cocktail parties. I wonder which our Reason betters will attend? I assume they’ll celebrate Obama’s departure with the Republicans – and morn the end of all good things with the Democrats. Whichever keeps the free drinks flowing based on circumstances.

      1. That sounds like they have their priorities in proper order.

  3. Violence broke out between Trump supporters and “antifa” demonstrators outside the pro-Trump “DeploraBall” Thursday night

    Trump hates love.

    1. “Violence broke out” is mediaspeak for “Trump supporters were attacked”. Because if Trump supporters had started anything, you can be GODDAMN sure the media would say EXACTLY THAT.

      TRUMP 2020!!!

    2. Remember the violence that broke out during all those Tea Party anti-Obama protests that were existential threats to American democracy and public safety?

  4. 278) My wife’s Facebook page has all kinds of crap about the many celebrity deaths in 2016. I don’t know. Most of those people were pretty old, and it’s not like I personally knew any of them anyway. I’ll admit Prince was kind of shocking, because he was not that old. Honestly, I think 1970 was the biggest year for celebrity deaths ever, because that was the year when so many upcoming rock stars died young.

    It occurs to me there are a few deaths that are possible in 2017 that would make 2016 look minor, because they would have actual world consequences:. Queen Elizabeth II (90). The Dalai Lama Tenzin (81). King Salman of Saudi Arabia (81).

    Besides that, George H.W. Bush is in his 90s and in poor health. Stan Lee is 94. Woody Allen is 81. Pope Francis is 80. Keith Richards, Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Martin Scorsese, and Pete Townshend are all in their 70s, plus about a thousand other famous boomers. Not to mention, Hillary Clinton is 70, in poor health, and just coming off a major disappointing life event.

    Of course, the real trick would be picking someone younger and in apparently good health.

    1. Stan Lee has filmed his cameos for the next 4 or 5 Marvel movies already. Just in case.

      1. I just hope he hasn’t neglected one for the Howard the Duck remake that will be necessary after the upcoming wave of HtD nostalgia.

      2. They probably have high-rez mo-cap of him already. They can Princess Leia him into movies for decades if need be.

        1. Is our wrinkle technology really that good? Tarkin in Rogue One was just creepy.

          1. And the voice drove me nuts, because I’ve seen Cushing’s Hammer films, and the guy playing him was not anywhere near as good a voice as Cushing.

            1. But have you seen Cushing in his Hammer pants?

              1. Please don’t hurt them, Peter.

            2. While it definitely was not a perfect imitation of Cushing’s voice, it sounded distinctive enough and appropriate for Tarkin. CGI Tarkin was the best part of a pretty darn good movie. I loved it.

          2. That’s what the mo-cap is for. Rather than having to code him up from 2D, they can Looker him right in there.

          3. Young Hopkins in Westworld was pretty damned impressive.

            1. Looked like Cillian Murphy to me….

              1. They pretty much nailed it

    2. Queen Elizabeth II (90)

      You shut your mouth, rebel scum! Liz will continue on for centuries until we finally place her on the Golden Throne!

      *hums Rule Britannia as a single tear rolls down cheek*

      1. Her post is almost entirely ceremonial, so her death will probably have little consequence. If Charles doesn’t abdicate we will be stuck with a decade or more of him using the bully pulpit to push unsustainable hippie bullshit. If the crown goes to William then we will see a much more modern, less pomp and circumstance, monarchy.

        1. Her post is almost entirely ceremonial, so her death will probably have little consequence.

          You have insulted her honour Tonio, and I swore an oath to her as sovereign. Pistols, sunset, U.S.-Canada border.

      2. She’ll outlast Charles by hook or by crook.

        1. Let’s pray she does. If, God forbid, Charles became King Charles III, and some disaster befell Britain, I believe that idiot would manage to make the first two Charles seem benevolent by comparison.

      3. until we finally place her on the Golden Throne

        You mean Buckingham Palace has porcelain?? Oh, the indignity!

    3. We should have a death pool.

      1. Who’s gonna collect the bets?

        1. This is Trump’s America pal. WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT!

          /slap!

          1. Thank you sir, may I have another!

      2. My pick is Miguel Ferrer!

      3. You could try Doug Stanhope’s Celebrity Deathpool.

        1. Anyone going with Lou Reed? Nobody? Good call, Lou will be with us forever

    4. Only one that really surprised me was David Bowie.

      And not ’cause of his age, but because mere DAYS before he released an album containing a song about his own death, and a music video for that song. It’s like he knew the exact moment he was going to drop and decided to fuck with us all one last time.

    5. I think 1970 was the biggest year for celebrity deaths ever

      How about 1616 (Shakespeare and Cervantes)?

      1. The first modern playwright AND the first modern novel author? That’s pretty fucking heavy.

    6. Keith Richards is proof that the body is one gigantic filter. When he blows this popsicle stand, his body needs to be researched for centuries to come.

      1. I think he’s been getting blood transfusions for years now.

        1. Keith Richards will outlive us all.

          1. Like the old Bill Hicks joke (seriously, 25 years old). When the nuclear war goes off and the blinding flash of light that spells annihilation of mere humans reaches Keith, he’ll just grab a guitar and hit the opening licks of “Start Me Up”, assuming he blacked out and is at a gig.

          2. If you consider being undead as living.

    7. Jesus, Stan Lee is 94? Props to him.

      There are more and more celebrities as media expanded after the war. So there are a bunch of celebrities from that era who are now old, and boomer celebrities that abused drugs for years. The time is coming where there will be a notable celebrity death every day.

      Or it’s because 2016 was cursed. Let’s go with that!

      1. A few weeks ago, Stan Lee celebrated 75 years of working for Marvel Comics. Talk about job security!

    8. I’m calling Chuck Berry. And it’s going to make me unhappy, because he’s the greatest.

    9. Yeah, if they’re over 80 I say meh. But a lot of people died relatively young of cancer and such. I was shocked when Bowie died. Really shocked when Prince died. Alan Rickman was, like, wtf?

  5. Is giraffe milk the new superfood?

    In 1962, a group of researchers milked a giraffe while it was under anaesthesia for an operation, to find out what was in its milk.

    The report revealed that giraffe milk has a high fat content ? 12.5%, to be precise. That compares with 3.5% in full fat cow’s milk (semi-skimmed has 1.5% ? 1.8%, skimmed milk has less than 0.3% fat content).

    In addition, giraffe milk contains similar amounts of riboflavin, thiamine and vitamin B6 to cow’s milk, but it has higher levels of vitamins B12 and A.

    1. Given that nannies are always pushing “low-fat” or “skim”, the government’s answer will certainly be “no”. Which means the real answer is “yes”.

    2. Milking giraffes would prevent lots of back pain.

    3. Wait until they start milking cats..

    4. I’ll believe it when I hear it from the Portland Milk Advisory Board.

    5. For years I’ve predicted Whale Milk will be the next hip thing.

      1. Whale as in fat chicks, or did you mean the real thing?

  6. “I don’t know if I can go, Huma,” Hillary whispered hoarsely.

    Huma looked up from Hillary’s squalid crotch and gently spat out an erotic cyst. “You must my love. To show them you are proud and beautiful and brave.”

    “I just can’t stop crying,” Hillary said, wiping cheeks that hadn’t seen any tears in decades.

    “Barry will be there and Michelle,” Huma said. She began decontamination procedures, astringent orange fluid hitting her from multiple high-pressure nozzles.

    “I don’t know what I ever say in those two. They were terrible lovers. Barry only wanted to bottom and Michelle’s dick always smelled like asshole.” Hillary rolled over and farted.

    “It’s time to go, my love,” Huma said, bathed in UV light.

    “I don’t care,” Hillary mumbled. “I don’t care about anything.”

    1. Erotic Cyst would be an excellent band name.

      1. “Erotic Cyst”

        Is there any other kind?

        1. Reading that, I knew it was going to be the thing everyone focused on. He’s actually doing his story a disservice by putting lightning rods like that in there.

          1. Oh, it’s unmitigated horror all the way down.

          2. It’s the throwaways like, “Hillary rolled over and farted.” that’s going to win him a Peabody.

            1. A Peabody and also some U.N. sanctions.

          3. If I don’t service my fans then someone else surely will.

            1. Warty and Crusty are no competition for you. Of course, they work ….um….differently.

            2. Like bulls “service” cows?

              1. Alex has been paying attention.

    2. I don’t like these stories that humanize Hillary.

    3. Huma looked up from Hillary’s squalid crotch and gently spat out an erotic cyst.

      I can’t even. Yet I can’t stop reading, either.

    4. True poetry:
      “……….. Barry only wanted to bottom and Michelle’s dick always smelled like asshole.” Hillary rolled over and farted.”

    5. Interesting stuff. I can’t decide between masturbating and lodging a formal complaint with Reason staff.

      1. Do both?

        1. At the same time.

      2. I call mine the Reason Staff, too.

    6. *gulp*

      OK, I asked for a story…and I got one. Good and hard, too.

    7. you bastard.

      I *was* eating my lunch!

  7. Mickey Kaus: It’s Not 1934

    Yet those who adhere to this unnamed tendency ? let’s call it ’34ism, unless you can come up with a better name *** ?allow the power of their terrifying dream to overwhelm sober consideration of everything Trump does or intends to do, good or bad (on trade, taxes, regulations, immigration, etc). We’re supposed to draw up sides ? condemning (and ostracizing) those who are “complicit” in Trump’s administration and welcoming those who “stand on the right side of history” ? even before we know whether the authoritarian seed will grow or wither, disregarding all the other positively auspicious seeds (reform of trade, control of borders, fewer foreign miliary adventures, ending the Republican threat to Social Security and Medicare, etc.) that might flourish instead. In Slate 34ist Yascha Mounk’s head it’s practically Life During Wartime already, with brave Trump critics fired from their jobs, sleeping on the couches of their secret colleagues in the Resistance. Keep the car running.

    Suggested alternative: See what happens first! Don’t let the reaction to Trump be dominated by one extremely unlikely bad possibility, at the expense of nurturing the far-more-likely good possibilities.

    1. Just like the narrative was set with Obama (i.e. he inherited a mess and did his gosh darnedest best against an obstructionist GOP and racist country and still he managed to be great and do great things all in a dignified and caring manner while still getting up early to feed the girls, take the garbage out and make muffins), the narrative is set with Trump. No matter what he does, the media will grill him suddenly discovering their craft again, his detractors will blame him for stuff probably set up by the previous moron and be seen as the guy who took America down a dark road after Obama left him a Light House of Hope and Change. Plus he hates kids and is rapey and will be rapey all the time.

      Did I get that about right?

      1. You Canadians are just too damned polite!

    2. “34ist” is a god-awful construct, but it fits so I guess we’re stuck with it.

    3. ending the Republican threat to Social Security and Medicare

      You can end Republican opposition, but economic reality holds the trump card over both of those.

  8. I listened to this song nonstop on January 20th, 2009, and i see no reason i shouldn’t do so again today.

    1. I’ve already starting posting songs today on FB without explanation. So far? Eve of Destruction, The End of the World by both The Cure and Rem. Other popular apocalypse songs?

      1. “Party in the USA”

        1. Huh. In looking this up to make sure I was thinking of the correct shitty song, I saw this:

          MuchMusic Video Award for iHeartRadio International Artist of the Year

          Which is sadder, that this garbage Miley Cyrus song won this “award” or that this “award” even exists in the first place?

          1. I don’t understand any of the italicized text. I don’t think most of those are words.

          2. That song is so gay….

          3. I like this song in Pitch Perfect lol

        1. My mom was the only one who has liked that so far. 🙁

          1. Your mom is cool. Pics?

      2. Symphony of Destruction

        1. The earth starts to rumble, world powers fall

      3. Not really an apocalypse song but “I’m Afraid of Americans”

        1. In the same vein, I’m So Bored of the USA

        1. Ha! That one already has 3 likes from my lefty friends.

            1. Are they playing the Pom-Far battle theme for these people?

      4. Let’s Play USA” (Peter Schilling)

        Reagan-era hurr durr, since everything’s coming up Reagan again.

      5. If you like classical music, “Dies Irae” from Verdi’s ‘Requiem’ is good, as are several arias from “Gotterdaemarung.”

      6. Dead Flag Blues by Godspeed You Black Emperor.

        “I said kiss me, these are truly the end of days.”

        1. “The car’s on fire, and there’s no driver at the wheel.”

      7. That shitty Genesis song.

        1. Wait, I need to narrow it down since there are so many shitty Genesis songs. The one with the puppets in the video.

          Oh, Land of Confusion.

          And oh, fuck Phil Collins with a sideways Ditch Witch.

      8. “A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall”

        1. +1 ruined link to a great song

      9. “Die For Your Government” by Anti-Flag

    2. Are they standing in front of an outhouse?

      1. Yes, because the name of the album from which the artwork was taken is “Who’s Next?” Get it?! If you look, you’ll see there are urine tracks on the outhouse’s side.

        1. I hope that *Dr.* Who doesn’t get confused and think it’s his TARDIS.

    3. This is apropos. LINK

    4. How about Steely Dan’s “Kings”?

  9. Slate: The Best-Case Scenario for the Trump Presidency

    Faced with Trump’s deep unpopularity, GOP leaders may then gain the sudden courage of their convictions. Claiming that they had always found his lack of patriotism or his conflicts of interest or his racist appeals disqualifying, they will invoke noble principles they had cravenly shoved to the side just a few months before. After years of stoking the beast of racism one moment, only to try to contain it the next, they may even pledge to eschew dog whistles.

    In 2020, with Trump spectacularly unpopular, the establishment of the Democratic Party is tempted to field a safe candidate who can run up the numbers among key demographic groups. But the base realizes that it’s not easy to get elected just by saying that the president is horrid. So instead, it coalesces around a young, charismatic candidate who lays out an ambitious vision for how the government can improve the lives of all Americans. Taking a leaf out of Obama’s campaign and disavowing the failed strategy pursued by Clinton, this candidate does not pitch his or her appeal to a narrow coalition but to the nation as a whole. With many moderate Republicans disavowing Trump, the Democratic candidate wins in a landslide.

    1. “””””GOP leaders may then gain the sudden courage of their convictions”””

      GOP leaders having convictions, I stopped reading right there.

      1. There’s a whole wing in the federal pen for Democrats with convictions.

        1. Any of them get O to pardon them? Hillary wants to know. Not that she admits to having committed any crimes, but she just is asking… for a friend.

      2. GOP leaders having convictions, I stopped reading right there

        You made it past courage??

      3. I stopped when I saw it was a link to Slate.

    2. Isn’t the best case scenario that economy grows at a healthy pace with most of the gains enjoyed by those who are less well off, debt goes down, partisan acrimony goes down, and the US enjoys relative peace? I mean, to the extent that the Trump administration can influence these things, I don’t think it’s likely that they’ll move things in these directions, but it’s still the best case scenario, right?

      1. And while no one is looking, the EPA burns to the ground.

      2. The best case scenario is always “my side wins.”

      3. You’re off by 8 years. It’s only wrong when Republicans want things to go poorly for a Democratic president.

      4. I like it when the mask slips. They would rather the country go to shit than Trump succeed.

    3. And who is the “young, charismatic candidate” for the Donks? They’re rather short on those.

      1. Al Franken seems to be the liberal elites’ favorite rising star.

        1. He’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and doggone it, people like him.

        2. So, another old white guy.

          1. Yep – we all know how much the rest of the country loves MN Democrats!

            1. 49-1

        3. They bash Trump for being the first ‘reality’ President – which I disagree with. Obama was the first Pop culture President – and they’re answer to remedy this is select a….celebrity?

          Makes perfect sense if you follow their degenerate line of logic.

          1. I think Kennedy was the prototype of the pop culture president.

            1. Yep. Obumbles was the first presidential cult of personality. That is a different animal.

          2. Reagan, being a film actor was the first bona fide pop culture president. Leaving aside the special case of Washington, Kennedy and Obama are probably the first two presidents to be so utterly mythologized while still in office. Lincoln at least had to be shot in the back of the head before he became the “greatest president ever”.

        4. I hear Garrison Keillor might have some spare time to start a new career.

      2. Chelsea!

        1. Manning?

      3. They seem to think it will be Corey Booker.

        1. Is T-Bone going to get the VP slot? They are almost endless ways you can make Booker into a pathetic and comic figure with the T-Bone story.

          1. Now that T-Bone has been exposed as being purely made up by Booker, they’ve dropped it.

      4. Liz Warren she would be younger at 71

    4. an ambitious vision for how the government can improve the lives of all Americans

      So, they are going to rediscover the joys of a smaller, less expensive, greatly limited federal government?

      1. hahahahahhaa

        more socialism, comrade!

      2. This is why i won’t support liberalism. An ambitious vision for how government can improve lives of all americans.

    5. they may even pledge to eschew dog whistles

      This may be difficult since you morons are the only people claiming to hear them.

      1. If you’re the one who keeps hearing all the dog whistles, you’re probably a dog.

    6. Slate wasn’t hillary going to win in a landslide cause stronger together and woman?

    7. I don’t think they should be making any predictions against this guy.

  10. (Also, Vermin Supreme was sighted.)

    Some say he appears as an augur of great conflict, like the Wild Hunt. Except Vermin doesn’t steal children, he just gives them ponies.

    1. He makes them brush their teeth before they can have the pony, though.

  11. Florida Woman pulls a machete at a day care

    Ashley Dailey, 25, attempted to pick up a child she didn’t have custody over in Sunrise, Florida. After being denied the child, Dailey pulled the machete on the employee and threatened her, 7News reported.

    “She didn’t have custody …the grandma did,” Chris Piper, Sunrise police spokesman, told the Miami Herald.

    Dailey fled from the scene as soon as the cops arrived, which sparked a brief chase, according to 7News.

    Broward Sheriff’s Office deputies were able to stop her on I- 95 just after 10 a.m. this morning, reported 7News.

    However, Dailey wouldn’t go down that easily. Deputies had to break Dailey’s car window to take her into custody, according to 7News.

    Never change, Florida Woman

    1. Ashley Dailey, 25, attempted to pick up a child she didn’t have custody over in Sunrise, Florida. After being denied the child, Dailey pulled the machete on the employee and threatened her, 7News reported.

      “She didn’t have custody …the grandma did,” Chris Piper, Sunrise police spokesman, told the Miami Herald.

      So, I take it Ashley is the mom? Or does she just try to pick up random kids from the day care Crusty style?

      1. Crusty style

        Wait, I thought that was a special position requiring 6 pages of instructions in the Kama Sutra….

  12. You can watch live on any of the major TV networks or lots of outlets online, including CNN. Stay tuned for Reason TV’s take on inauguration hoopla; follow C.J. Ciaramella, Robby Soave, and me on Twitter today for live updates from the scene around downtown D.C. and Capitol Hill.

    I don’t want to do ANY of that.

      1. Cheers! [raises glass of room temperature tap water]

    1. I held the links (and the comments) in reserve until after noon just so I would have something to do that didn’t involve the government self-fellating on TV. (I have no idea how to spell that word, maybe I should have just gone with self-blowjob).

  13. Today was the best. commute. ever. Seventeen miles in 20 minutes!

    Thanks Obama Trump!

  14. #Pizzagate

    Man dressed as beer bottle wanted for alleged pizza theft

    A man dressed as a beer bottle is being sought by police after allegedly stealing two pizzas without paying.

    Police are looking to identify the reveller who was caught on CCTV at Papa Johns in Holton Road, Barry on New Year’s Day.

    He is said to have entered a staff-only area and helped himself to the pizzas and left without paying.

    1. It’s only Papa Johns, it’s not like he took good pizza.

    2. It might’ve been Papa John himself. He’s a bit crazy when he gets drunk.

    3. Why in the flying fuck would anyone, anywhere, ever want to purposefully steal a Papa John’s pizza?

      1. Clearly that was an artisinal brew and he was stealing it ironically.

      2. He was drunk, okay?? He didn’t know it was a Papa John’s.

      3. lost bet?

      4. Pizza is like sex?

    4. Was it Surly or Remorseful? I’ll be it was Surly.

  15. Why are otherwise brilliant people so ignorant when it comes to politics and economics? This quote popped up in my FB feed:

    You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

    The comments were

    1) The attribution is wrong (plausible) and the guy actually said this was a Holocaust denier!
    2) This is a great justification for the estate tax and we should give the Hilton fortune to hard working hotel employees instead of Paris Hilton.

    So we have one count of ad hominem, one count of labor theory of value, one count of failing to understand incentives, and one count of completely ignoring the difference between coerced vs voluntary giving, and zero counts of actually addressing the point of the quote.

    1. Sounds like they are taking “Veil of ignorance” literally.

    2. The quote. Who said it? Sounds like something Harvey Birdman would say but I want to confirm.

      1. Google says: Adrian Rogers, whoeverthefuck he is.

        1. I didn’t realize Greenbay’s QB is so philosophical.

        2. I know someone who has that quote in his email signature block.

          I’ve always loved it but if memory serves, Rodgers said a couple of controversial things…about race maybe? Or maybe it was just because he was s Baptist preacher, and therefore, to the left, insane.

    3. AmSoc approves of those comments.

    4. Why are otherwise brilliant people so ignorant when it comes to politics and economics? This quote popped up in my FB feed:

      Sorry I’m running late, but your answer is quite simple. They aren’t otherwise brilliant people. They have the credential-type degrees, but they aren’t that bright.

  16. Violence broke out between Trump supporters and “antifa” demonstrators

    “Violence broke out” I bet that means the Trump supporters were attacked.
    *reads article*

    Yep, that’s what it means.

    1. Names have been removed to protect the possibly innocent.

    2. Are Reason writers aspiring to write police reports? They seem to want to use the passive voice.

      1. “The officer’s gun discharged….[several paragraphs later] The suspect incurred a gun shot wound.”

    3. If they’re Anti FA, are they pro Capital One Cup?

  17. …but Politico and others are reporting that “hundreds of thousands” of protesters are set to swarm D.C. throughout inauguration weekend.

    The assumption being that every correct thinking bureaucrat in DC is a de facto protester.

  18. “Inauguration,” Donald grumbled, “That’s a dumb word.”

    “In means the formal ceremony for the beginning of something, especially a time in office,” the hair told him. The hat laughed from his display stand.

    “I know that,” Donald snapped. But he didn’t. He really didn’t. “It’s still a dumb word.”

    Donald turned in his closet mirrors to look at his new suit, his inauguration suit. It was perfect and classy and the best and a committee of a dozen top-ranked gays had picked it out for him. The hair longed to adjust the pocket square, but just shivered in irritation instead.

    “It comes from augur in Latin,” the hair continued, ignoring them both. “In Ancient Rome, augurs were the priests who interpreted the will of the gods by studying the flight patterns of birds.”

    “Look at Mr. Wiki-fag-opedia over here,” the hat.

    “Birds?” Donald snorted. “Romans didn’t even have Twitter, so what do they know?”

    There was a knock on the closet door. “Downold? Are vou reedy?” came Melania’s voice.

    “Well, fuck. Dracula Hooker is here,” the hat said.

    “Just tell her you almost are,” the hair told Donald.

    “I almost am,” Donald said.

    “It ees almost time to go,” she whined like a beaten cur.

    “Tell her to fuck off, Donald,” the hat said.

    “Fuck off, Donald!” Donald yelled through the closet door. Melania spat out a vile stream of Slovak gibberish as they could hear her heels clacking away.

    1. “Have you got your Bible,” Donald the hair asked him after the three of them stopped laughing.

      “Yeah, whatever,” he replied.

      “But you need it for the swearing in,” the hair said.

      “I want to swear on something I actually believe in, like The Art of the Deal or Ivanka’s boob,” Donald said.

      “Donald!” the hat said sharply. “No groping today. No. Bad Donald!”

      “Just the right one,” the orange billionaire mused. “The left one is sort of meh.”

      “Donald,” the hat and the hair both said.

      “Yeah, yeah,” he said, cutting them off.

      Donald turned in his dressing closet, eight full-length mirrors surrounding him. Infinties of Donalds stretched out in every direction and all he could do was laugh.

      1. Rated G. This is the Disney version of events.

      2. [wipes tears from eyes]

      3. No pussy grab on the Capitol steps?? I has a sad.

        1. The day is yet young, BigT.

      4. Infinties of Donalds stretched out in every direction and all he could do was laugh.

        Ahhhh!

        *sighs contentedly*

    2. “Romans didn’t even have Twitter, so what do they know?”

      “LOL just stabbed @JuliusCaesar in the Senate, need way to get blood out of a toga. #MRGA #IdesofMarchBitch”

      1. “One last selfie of me at the bridge, then I really gotta go”

        /Horatius

    3. “I know that,” Donald snapped. But he didn’t. He really didn’t.

      These three sentences need to be on currency.

  19. Rasmussen: 52% View Trump Favorably

    Voter attitudes about President-elect Donald Trump have changed little since Thanksgiving, with just over half of voters continuing to give him favorable marks.

    The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey finds that 52% of Likely U.S. Voters share a favorable opinion of Trump, with 30% who have a Very Favorable one. The president-elect is viewed unfavorably by 48%, including 37% with a Very Unfavorable view.

    1. Rasmussen clearly doesn’t understand that you must wildly over-sample Democrats to get the correct poll results.

    2. They’re just reading chicken entrails, aren’t they?

    3. Seeing as Rasmussen outperformed all the other MSM type polling outfits this last election, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt versus the other 15 or so MSM polls that find differently. It’s amazing how much credibility the likes of CNN, NBC, ABC and CBS *don’t* have.

  20. When I got into the office, nobody was here, so I took the opportunity to mute the TV. So far, nobody has un-muted it!

    1. Ah, Til Eulenspiegel you.

    2. I’m sorry that your workplace has a constantly-blaring television with audio going at all times.

  21. As Trump takes the oath, many voters still can’t believe it

    No one can plausibly say they knew that the man who launched his candidacy that day would be elected the nation’s 45th president. As Trump prepares to take the oath of office Friday, many Americans still can’t quite believe that a presidency that still seems almost bizarrely improbable becomes a reality on Friday.

    “I thought it was a joke. He’d run, he’d lose early and he’d be out,” said Christopher Thoms-Bauer, 20, a bookkeeper and college student from Bayonne, New Jersey, who originally backed Florida Sen. Marco Rubio’s Republican candidacy.

    Then, Thoms-Bauer recalled, came the night in November when he joined friends in a diner after a New Jersey Devils hockey game and watched, stunned, as Trump eked out wins in key states.

    “Having this realization that he was really going to become president was really just a surreal moment,” said Thoms-Bauer, who gave his write-in vote to Evan McMullin, a former CIA agent who ran as a conservative alternative to Trump. “It still doesn’t make sense.”

    For all the country’s political divisions, plenty of people on both sides of the aisle share that disbelief.

    1. “”””a former CIA agent “””

      So a former CIA agent does not understand elections. That does help explains the CIA.

      1. I read that as candidate McMullin being the former CIA agent, not bookkeeper and college student Thoms-Bauer. But, yes, awkwardly written.

    2. It is a joke, one that gets funnier as time goes by.

  22. So, what’s everyone got planned for their last free day on Earth?

    1. I, for one, will “bring in the trash”.

      1. I did that last night.

        (no, seriously, It was all the bags of stuff I took from my totaled car. I’m going to sort them and probably throw most of it out)

      2. I, for one, will “bring in the trash”.

        What are you, the White House?

      3. Hopefully Trump can Make Euphemisms Great Again!

    2. I’m-a earn 8-hours’ worth of scratch, drive home on (hopefully) empty highways, smoke a little something, watch The First 48, take a shot of Zzquil, and pass out by 10pm.

      1. Good luck with your commute, KK. And all our other DC area commenters.

        1. My commute is now suburb-to-suburb, so no pain for me. If I still worked at the State Dept, I would have had the day off (not telework – completely off). Why anyone who works in DC would actually go into the office today is beyond my ability to understand.

      2. take a shot of Zzquil

        Do you really do this? Benadryl just ain’t cutting it anymore.

        1. I find the liquid form takes effect a lot faster than pills. Tastes like grape-flavor shit, but you do what you gotta do.

    3. Have to go help my parents move – so packing boxes for their great flight from the evil dictatorship

        1. Nah – they’ve gotten to the age where stairs are getting a bit too much, so they bought a house that has everything they need on one floor.

          1. The second floor?

            1. Not counting the mezzanine.
              -Vice President of Hudsucker Industries

              1. Yes!

    4. As for me, I’ll be working then heading home. I’m hoping to finally finish Metro: Last Light tonight then probably see if I can get farther in XCOM: Enemy Unknown.

      1. I can get farther in XCOM: Enemy Unknown.

        Meh, if you lose you just got the canon ending.

        1. I just wish it wasn’t so tedious.

          1. What do you find tedious? Base management or combat? The second is a lot more punchy and quick (they also completely drop micromanaging individual rifles and such, which is great), but they try to balance overwatch spam with turn limits.

            1. The whole thing. The artificial difficulty as you progress is also frustrating. Standing two squares away from a flanked alien and missing twice when you have an 89% hit chance makes me want to punch a baby. I can probably play through two encounters before I’m looking for something else to do.

              1. RNG is, and always has been, the core of XCOM games. Appeals to some people, doesn’t appeal to others. Hilariously, on lower difficulties the game actually does cheat the system in your favour. Also, the system rounds up, so yes, you can totally miss a 100% shot. Because fuck you, that’s XCOM.

                You have to be a bit of sadist to really enjoy it.

                1. *Masochist dammit, the developers are sadists.

                  1. Divinity: Original Sin pulls the same shit and it’s why I’ve mostly stopped playing it.

      2. Sparky I highly recommend XCOM: Enemy Within. It adds Goliath sized mechs with (basically) a Futurama head on top. Because I make all my friends as soldiers, when one would die, I’d make a mech with his name and face — Death is no end to the power of SCIENCE!!

    5. Work, go home, walk the dog, cook dinner, drink until i forget who’s on the penny.

        1. I watched King Aella get his comeuppance on Vikings last night

          1. +1 Blood Eagle

            1. Aella is a frickin’ Saxon name!

              No blood eaglez 4 u!

          2. Spoiler alert, goddammit. The second half of Season 4 isn’t on Amazon Prime yet.

            1. Unless they decided to ignore history, a thousand years is a bit of a stretch for spoiler censors.

              1. To be fair, ignoring history is fairly common with Vikings.

              2. Zackly! Even without history, you could see that coming a million miles away!

              3. “Unless they decided to ignore history,”

                This is the History Channel. They were never paying attention to history to begin with.

                Fuck, they even called Ragnar Lodbrok’s brother “Rollo Lodbrok”, as if Ragnar’s byname Lodbrok/”Hairy-Breeks” was some sort of surname. They’re only paying the vaguest amount of attention to the Saga of Ragnar Lodbrok and the Saga of the Sons of Ragnar Lodbrok which, frankly, aren’t likely to be that historical anyways. You know, with Ragnar slaying a giant serpent/dragon and all.

                1. Remember how the Norse didn’t know Britain existed until the 8th century? Vikings does, and no one else.

            2. :Cough: historical event :cough:

            3. “Why’s this Alfred kid hyped up so much? It’s almost like he’s great or something.”

            4. ACTUAL SPOILER ALERT!

              right

              after

              these

              lines

              for

              your

              delicate

              eyes

              What’s with them glossing over every single fucking major battle? We saw nothing of Bjorn’s Mediterranean campaign, which, according to legend & history, was the defining event of his life. And then the battle with Aella? Really? You’re not gonna show any fucking thing?

              1. That’s disappointing about Bjorn. I was looking forward to him losing half his fleet to the Andalusian navy’s Greek fire.

                I’ll bite, though. Did Ivar at least trick Aella into giving him the city of Eoforwic first?

                1. They did show a raid on Algeciras, then they showed them at Gibraltar looking out at the Mediterranean in front of them, then they cut to them returning Rollo to his family in France.

                  The interaction with Aella was all of the brothers, not just Ivar. They asked him to show them where their father died, then they had their revenge. I think the finale is going to be them going after Ecbert.

                  1. +1 Last Kingdom (the Vikings never did conquer Wessex)

                    1. We all know who did conquer Wessex (and the rest of the island), though.

                  2. As much as Vikings can annoy the shit out of me, I’m disappointed that they’re likely not going to have any Varangian Guard storylines.

                    1. There’s an awesome story about how the Varangian Guard came to be: some Vikings, having sailed up the Rhine, portaged over to the Danube and then sailed down to the Black Sea, arrived at the gates of Constantinople. Despite the immensity of its walls, they demanded tribute. An emissary of the Emperor came out and asked how much money they wanted. The leader of the Vikings named the largest sum he could think of. The emissary responded that the Emperor was willing to pay them that amount each month in order to be his personal bodyguard.

              2. Yeah, that has gotten annoying. Earlier in the series they showed plenty of battles taking place. Have they decided it’s too expensive and time-consuming or something?

              3. What’s with them glossing over every single fucking major battle?

                Moneys probably. Just out of university I was a consultant on a Canadian television production on the War of 1812. Battles are crazy expensive, mostly due to the prep if you want them to look good, have to train everyone, have a lot of stuntmen, etc. Also, there’s a bunch of stuff about insurance I know nothing about.

                1. It’s what sank ‘Rome’ the show.

                  1. I thought that was because half of their crazy-good set burned down.

                  2. It’s what sank ‘Rome’ the show.

                    I read that the cost of wardrobe and set design sank the tv series ‘Rome’. They actually had very few battles despite their regular occurance. Most of the actual “battles” they showed were gangland fights on the streets of Rome. When it came to real battles, we’d usually just see the buildup and aftermath playing out insofar as those things related to the story.

      1. Isn’t Leonard Hofstadter on the penny?

        1. Only his thumbprint – on every damned penny in existence.

    6. But on the bright side Trump/Hitler will have us all wearing cool uniforms.

      I think I look good in black.

      1. Hugo Boss FTW.

    7. I’m going to hopefully sell a bunch of trucks and trailers, wait for a wire transfer and work on getting my website set up. I might watch a few minutes of the speech for the lulz…then I’ll toast Obama leaving office.

    8. Get off work at 6, grab dinner on the way home, play with the kid, put her to bed at 9, and then play Hearthstone. Like any other day, because I’m reasonably sure the world ain’t ending today.

      1. But you don’t know that!

      2. Is Hearthstone any good? I’ve never really seen the appeal in computerized card games but they seem to be pretty popular these days.

        1. I like it. I played MtG back in the day, and I like this better. Has its issues, and it’s incredibly frustrating sometimes, but all competitive card games are at times.

        2. For a “free” game I definitely put my time in. Say what you will about Blizzard, they never release anything half-assed.

          Magic is superior, more ascetically please, but because Hearthstone is meant to be a computer game, some of the cool card mechanics and powers do stuff that you could NEVER do it a real CCG with cards.

    9. Work, work, work. (said in best Governor Petomane voice)

      Then Mrs. Renegade and I are celebrating our anniversary by scooping up several bottles of excellent wine, driving up to Milwaukee, checking into a nice hotel, drinking a couple, and fucking like crazed weasels.

      1. Happy Anniversary!

        1. Grazie!

          1. What did the good people of Milwaukee do to you?

            1. /points to place on doll.

      2. Happy anniversary.

    10. I’ll be joining the mass hari-kari encounter at 11:59 am.

    11. My wife and I have tickets to see one of our favorite bands play tonight. So we’ll be … sigh … dodging the lefty protesters in downtown Portland tonight getting safely to and from our hotel.

  23. “hundreds of thousands” of protesters are set to swarm D.C. throughout inauguration weekend

    Yet another reason to avoid the district.

    1. Would be a great time to flood the swamp…

  24. Campbellfield drive-by victim from Melbourne crime family shot in penis

    Several members of the Tiba family have been convicted of serious violent offences – including Bassam Tiba for the manslaughter of Richard Haddara – and drug crime.

    A wave of violence was allegedly connected to a family feud between the Tiba, Haddara and Chaouk families several years ago.

    Armed crime detectives are still investigating the motive behind Tuesday night’s shooting. The gunman and up to three associates are still at large.

    Up to four men in a white or cream car drove up to the victim in the Campbellfield Plaza car park about 9.30pm on Tuesday before one got out and started firing, Detective Inspector Steve Clark said.

    A shopping centre security guard heard gun shots, ran outside and found the man lying on the ground with at least three gunshot wounds to his leg and groin, Channel Nine reported.

    1. “Dammit, Butters, you don’t shoot people in the dick!”

  25. David Harsanyi ?@davidharsanyi 2m2 minutes ago
    people who say “more than ever” mean “we didn’t do it before.”

    Sally Kohn @sallykohn
    Today is not just first day of his presidency but reminder of our job as citizens–to be vigilant + hold power accountable, more than ever!

    1. Kohn was a complete stupid, sycophantic hack under Obama who turned over and asked ‘how many more cracks at it Barack?”

      As were all the cry babies now acting like they’re fucken patriots.

      What a bunch of losers. Literally.

      1. I was disgusted at the prospect of the inevitable Hillary presidency and was dreading 4 years of being scolded at by that nasty woman. Trump’s win lifted a huuuuge weight off of me even though he wasn’t my choice either. Prog tears have been delicious, but the knee-jerk media fear-mongering and pants shitting has already gotten old.

        1. I suspect that for many people that the prospect of 4-8 years of shrill lecturing was a deciding factor. And the people who lost are literally incapable of acknowledging or recognizing that. There has not been a trace of humility in post-election writing.

          1. There has been a lot more shrill lecturing, though.

    2. Harsanyi shoots, he scores!

    3. Harsanyi almost the last man-with-balls standing. Always pithy and powerful, whilst the rest of the Reason staff plays nice, delivering tsk-tsk punches with comforting reminders that the other guys have a good point too!

    1. But can you hide it?

      1. Someone’s about to lose control.

    1. Age of Trump!

      1. Today marked the day that the oceans stopped rising, the ice craps grew, and the polar bears found a growing habitat in desert winter wonderlands.

    2. Isn’t ‘snow in the desert’ one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

  26. My vote for most “this is why Trump was elected” inauguration article.

    Why It Matters That Donald Trump Has No Inaugural Poet

    1. I guess he didn’t work that deal out with Kanye West.

    2. This is more important than your stupid beliefs!!!!!

    3. I thought it was Toby Keith. Oh, well, let me offer the following

      Oh, we’ll stand by our country whatever may befall
      Come in by the front door or don’t come in at all
      Illegal immigration is something done by slobs
      Throw out the illegals and save American jobs

      1. Now we have a President who never, ever drinks
        But his sobriety don’t stop him from saying what he thinks
        Whatever pops into his mind goes on his Twitter feed
        That’s the sort of straight talk the American people need

        1. It’s time to ask the world, “whose side are you on?”
          It better be on our side, ’cause we’ll fight until we’ve won
          The terrorists will find that we’re everything they feared
          With our giant hands we’ll pluck their scraggly beards

    4. Missed calling for Agile Cyborg.

      Man would that have been PRICELESS.

      1. “I just had the most profound experience of my life, and I still have no idea what the hell he said. The naked dancers were a nice touch though.”

    5. I thought he had Dice Clay.

      1. Hickory dickory dock
        His election has created a shock

        1. POTUS Obama, went to the cupboard
          To get the first dog a bone
          When he bent over, OOOOHW!
          Michele took over,
          ‘Cuz she has a bone of her own!

    6. Modern poetry sucks. Just hire someone to read this:

      ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
      Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
      All mimsy were the borogoves,
      And the mome raths outgrabe.

      “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
      The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
      Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
      The frumious Bandersnatch!”

      He took his vorpal sword in hand:
      Long time the manxome foe he sought?
      So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
      And stood awhile in thought.

      And as in uffish thought he stood,
      The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
      Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
      And burbled as it came!

      1. One, two! One, two! and through and through
        The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
        He left it dead, and with its head
        He went galumphing back.

        “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
        Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
        O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
        He chortled in his joy.

        ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
        Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
        All mimsy were the borogoves,
        And the mome raths outgrabe.

        1. Or just recite Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

          http://bit.ly/1MpNobp

          The beheading part would trigger the little prog-babies.

        2. It’s great poetry. Not quite Don Marquis level, but right up there. Have you seen Martin Gardner’s French and German translations?

    7. We got a Prez that’s not a wussy.
      He’ll Grab America by the pussy.
      Gonna put the beaners behind the wall.
      And then have his inaugural ball.

      He can’t wait to bomb some Muzzies.
      Thinking about it gives me warm fuzzies.
      He’s gonna make America great.
      So fuck you, progs … embrace your fate.

      1. [golf clap]

        Hope you, Banjos and the kids all doing well.

      2. Touching man, really touching..

        /sniff sniff

    8. JFK was the only one that did it right. He at least had Robert Frost. Much like he was the only one who did “cheating in the white house” right.

    9. Roses are red
      violets are blue
      Elections have consequences
      Ha ha, fuck you

    10. So, the article is mostly dumb, but does contain this unlikely nugget of truthiness:

      “and the fact that the GOP, at least until the rise of the Tea Party, often spoke for “the establishment and the status quo.”

  27. Immigration debate continues in Howard during second day of testimony

    Scott Skogmo said the sanctuary status gives the impression the county can pick and choose between which laws it seeks to enforce.

    “If every county starts picking and choosing which laws to enforce, our country will become a house of cards that will eventually collapse,” the Ellicott City resident said.

    A major bloc of Asian and Asian- American community members, many of whom are first- and second-generation immigrants, also staked a vocal stand against the bill, which they said gives undocumented immigrants a free pass to the citizenship they worked hard to attain.

    Holding up her citizenship papers, county resident Tina Milton, who immigrated from Korea in the 1970s, said, “This piece of paper means nothing so that’s a slap in our face.”

    Hongling Zhou, a Chinese immigrant who became a U.S. citizen after 14 years and lives in Clarksville, agreed, saying, “We are the hardworking taxpayers that are the backbones of this county’s revenue source.”

    1. “If every county starts picking and choosing which laws to enforce, our country will become a house of cards that will eventually collapse,” the Ellicott City resident said.

      The fact that Reason writers, by and large, don’t understand that this is a necessity in a society that lives by the rule of law is beyond me.

      1. The rule of law isn’t a real thing. It only looks that way when most laws are reasonable enough that most people would follow most of them anyway.

        1. I disagree. It exists when rules are applied equally regardless of race, sex, age, political affiliation, etc. and when a society rejects those rules or when they are applied unequally, they are overturned through a legislative or judicial process. That’s the rule of law. And it’s essential to have in a free society.

          1. Has that ever really existed? It looks to me as if there have always been lots of laws that have been selectively and unevenly enforced.
            But I suppose that in a truly free society the sorts of laws that most people obey more because they want to be good people than because they want to obey the law (e.g. murder, theft, assault, etc.) are the only laws that would exist. So if that’s what you want to call “rule of law”, I can see that.

            1. But I suppose that in a truly free society the sorts of laws that most people obey more because they want to be good people than because they want to obey the law (e.g. murder, theft, assault, etc.) are the only laws that would exist.

              Which is why the common law is great and statutory law sucks big ole dicks.

      2. Yeah, I was about to say…that is my federalist wet dream.

  28. Trumpelstiltskins! Trumpelstiltskins!!

  29. In case anyone wants to do some gambling, here are overseas odds (paddypower.com) on Trump’s presidency:

    4-1 odds (20% chance) trump gets impeached within 6 months
    7-4 odds (36% chance) he doesn’t finish his first full term
    5-1 odds (17% chance) his golden shower video ends up on redtube
    15-1 odds (6% chance) he splits with Melania
    500-1 odds (0.2% chance) he paints the white house Gold

    1. paddypower.com

      Website powered by potato batteries and alcohol.

      1. The ‘potato server’ was a hoax, TotL themselves said that.

        The idea is somehow still alive ~15 years later.

        1. That was a Mick joke, not a nerd joke.

    2. Ooh the gold bet could have some good returns.

      1. -1 shreek

      2. I see a way to pay off the national debt and make someone else pay for it.

        Trump places a couple hundred billion on that gold wager and then goes ahead and does it. The payoff goes to retiring debt.

        Sadly, that plan is more rational than the $1 Trillion coin

        1. $40 billion at 500-1 odds would pay out $20 trillion. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this plan.

          1. Except the eventual refusal/inability to pay by the bet makers.

            1. *what*? They could just print money to pay off their bets, right?

              (sarcasm rarely shows up in text apparently)

            2. We will bankrupt Ireland into eternity to pay off our own debts.

            3. That is where you take your marker over to China and say, “Ireland owes me $20T. Tell you what, I’ll give you this and we’re square on that $9T we owe you.”

              Then China has to collect from those deadbeats.

    3. 4-1 odds (20% chance) trump gets impeached within 6 months

      I’d bet the house on that. There is no way in hell that happens in just six months. A few years, maybe…

      1. that pays out only if he gets impached in that time frame, Chipperbot.

        1. Ah. Crap.

          1. You could probably short it somehow.

      2. Not happening unless it’s something devastating. Republicans in charge won’t want to tarnish the R-brand of presidency, not matter now NeverTrump they may personally be.

    4. Who the fuck uses redtube as a goto porn site? Terrible website with a terribly out of date media player. Maybe if there’s a vid on there you can’t find elsewhere but still….

      1. Fuq.com searches all the other sites. It’s the Kayak of porn.

          1. Buy stock??

            1. I’ve never called it that before but sure.

    5. If there’s a way to short these odds, 20% odds on Trump only lasting 6 months before impeachment are crazy.

  30. Violence broke out between Trump supporters and “antifa” demonstrators outside the pro-Trump “DeploraBall” Thursday night, with some in the fray pepper-sprayed by D.C. police. (Also, Vermin Supreme was sighted.)

    What an interesting way to say “protestors apparently attacked a Trump supporter last night”. Unsurprising, but still interesting.

    1. The left is always justified in its violence. The mere presence of someone disagreeing with them is reason enough for attacking them.

      1. Yeah, they always resort to violence. I’m just lamenting that this passes for objective journalism here.

    2. Was gonna say, ‘I wonder who started that one’.

      The way they’ve behaved from Obama all the way down to the last prog nut job, it’s only natural they resort to violence.

  31. It would be a wonderful FU to the protesters if the govt agencies that distribute the dole would have sent out a letter saying that in order to remain eligible for more welfare, the recipient must report to the local welfare office today.

    My guess is that the demonstrations would be noticeably smaller if that were the case. And the whining about not being able to exercise their 1st ammend rights AND get money for free would have been wonderful.

    1. I suspect that the overwhelming majority of protesters are reasonably well-off.

      1. I live very close to D.C. and most of the people I know that are protesting/checking out the million-woman march are working hourly jobs at various retailers. Out of the men that I know who are going to the march, most are hipster artist types without jobs/working as unskilled labor.

        One of them is around 40 and his parents still pay for all of his expenses – rent and everything. I got into an argument about economics with him and he claimed that all modern wonders are the result of oppressive colonialism. I pointed at the fridge and asked him to explain how colonialism produced the wonders of the modern refrigerator. He exited the conversation.

    2. While federal tax dollars may fund many of those programs, at least some are managed by the state.

      FWIW, I’ve seen references in my derpbook feed to “scholarships” for protesters – often funded by people who claim they “can’t” attend. Also, various local vigils for handicapped and other people who similarly claim they “can’t” attend.

  32. Trump! Trump! Trump!
    ::turns around::
    Yep, he showed up just like Candyman.

    1. I thought that only worked if you’re doing it on a dare at a girls’ sleepover.

  33. I hope Trump cracks down hard on those protesters. I saw one defiling an American flag. I was horrified!

    1. Was that a hetero- or homo-defiling?

      You would know.

      1. LOL so true. I would know, wouldn’t I??

  34. It’s Day One of the Trump Era, folks.

    Um….Day One-Half. He gets inaugurinated at noon.

    1. Just call it day zero

  35. The Donald’s swearing-in ceremony kicks off around 11:30 a.m., with Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. administering the oath of office around noon, followed by-

    -the second, secret swearing in on the Koran, same as last time.

    1. The Donald and Roberts in the same sentence.
      And the intellectuals say the constitution ain’t safe???

  36. I hope Trump deports all the illegals. And immediately. I had always dreamed about transitioning to a career of cutting vegetables all day.

    1. Or you could have a bright new future in the new industry building vegetable and fruit picking machines

      1. Yes – let’s push more people of out work and make them fragile and dependent and easily exploitable for sex. I like the way you think!

        1. So you are against technological advances?

          1. Isn’t Ludditism a lot more prevalent on the left?

            1. Just think how many more jobs there would be for laborers if we didn’t have mechanical excavators!

              1. Or rickshaws instead of public or private transportation?

        2. easily exploitable for sex.

          Tell me more.

    2. I had always dreamed about transitioning to a career of cutting vegetables all day.

      You are aiming too high for your demonstrated skill set.

    3. Why would you have to transfer from getting welfare to cutting vegetables? I didn’t think Trump was cutting benefits on day one.

  37. I hope Trump bombs the hell out of ISIS before their radical ideologies come to our shores and corrupt the minds of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters and turn them to depression and destruction.

    1. Trump must be getting to you. This is some of your weakest trolling yet.

      1. It’s not even proper trolling; more like disjointed whining. I think he’s finally lost it.

        1. That presumes he ever had “it” to begin with, which is not evidenced by the facts.

  38. My sweet and clever Frankentrumpkensteins – soon we will be re-united !!!

    1. I like the original by Peaches & Herb better. This remix has too much autotune.

    2. Frankentrumpkensteins

      I feel like there’s not enough of an overlap on the Al Franken / Trump supporter venn diagram to warrant a unique nickname.

    3. AM: Since you mentioned cutting vegetables, Ima just pull out my gen-u-wine hari kari knife and you go right ahead and put her to use.

  39. I hope Trump starts building the wall real soon so we can have a great excuse to immediately round up and imprison millions of illegals indefinitely. What fun!!

    1. Will whoever runs ShriekBot get in here? It’s broken. Even more non-sensical than normal today.

      1. Why would someone build a wall to keep people out, and then keep those same people in? Unless it’s like the Berlin wall, and Washington is secretly terrified that everyone will flee to Mexico.

  40. I bet the Secret Service is especially worried about Trump’s safety today.

    Think of all the nutjobs out there, and think of the creme de la creme of nutjobs–the one in 300 million nutjob. They gotta worry about that guy! Sheesh.

    Whatever else drives Trump, he’s got to be a huge narcissist to want to leave an easy life of luxury just for fame and power and subject himself to the fury of nutjobs.

    Camp David is a step down in quality for him. The White House is a step down.

    http://hbz.h-cdn.co/assets/16/…..-index.jpg

    1. I thought the press would go after Melania even harder than the have. She has all the makings of a Marie Antoinette.

    2. Think of all the nutjobs out there, and think of the creme de la creme of nutjobs–the one in 300 million nutjob. They gotta worry about that guy!

      I know, right? And now they’ve got to protect that nutjob.
      -Democrat political commentator on CNN set this morning (unverified)

    3. or fame and power

      He already has these.

  41. The swearing at has already begun.

  42. Everybody got their Rugers ready to ‘restore law and order to the inner cities’? I mean seriously, it’s worse than a war zone in those places.

    1. You should go do some recon in South Chicago tonight for us so we know which streets we need to go to.

      1. But that would be the end. And then we’d forever miss the disjointed and incoherent, hypocritical rants.

      2. “South Side is bad – I mean they will kill ya, but the West Side….they will kill ya and do shit to your body after you dead.”

        /IDOC Parole agent – circa 1995.

        1. Man: Okay, now, uh, you see — you see which way you’re pointing, right? Yeah, okay, that’s good ’cause you see that place?
          Clark: Yeah. uh-huh.
          Man: You see where it say “rib tips”?
          Clark: Rib tips. yeah. mm-hmm.
          Man: Yeah, well, forget that. don’t go that way.
          Rusty:I wonder if these guys know the commodores.
          Man: You’re gonna go all the way down about half a block and you’ll see a torino with no wheels on it. Now, inside that torino is my cousin jackie. Now, you tell him you my boy and that you lost, and he’ll make sure you get to where you going ’cause you don’t want to know from me, man. This ain’t even my neighborhood. I’m from the west side of chicago, here on vacation.
          Clark: You’ve been a great help.

    2. I find it hard to believe a fucktard like you could appreciate ANY Ruger. You don’t have the character to even say that name, you piece of shit…

    1. “When the President of the United States weeps openly, it sends an unmistakable signal about what true power looks like. And it’s a signal that meant so very much to me as I grew into adulthood over the course of his presidency.”

      Good God Barfman, get over here quick!

      1. Men are allowed to cry over fallen comrades, at funerals, and in the presence of a profound indescribably beautiful experience.

        1. Hey, I cried when I took my kids to see Bridge To Terabithia. Openly wept.*

          *I hadn’t read the book, so I didn’t know what was going to happen.

          1. You’s a bitch son.

            1. lmfao

          2. I’ll be honest, the first twenty minutes of Up made me ugly-cry.

            1. My wife always skips those early scenes when the kids watch it.

            2. Fuck, I was thinking you meant Step Up. Then I wondered if you had gone completely insane.

              1. “Gone”?

        2. Or at the final scene of Field of Dreams. Yeah, I’m a sap – “Hey dad, wanna have a catch” gets me every time.

          1. When his father comes out of the corn and Costner exclaims, “DAD???” I invariably burst into tears.

          2. Or when Billy Dee gives a speech in Brian’s Song.

            My allergies are kicking in.

            *runs away*

            1. The speech he gives to the team in the locker room is the one I intended to share. If Billy Dee and Bernie Casey can cry, Crusty can cry.

        3. The end of Old Yeller too.

        4. profound indescribably beautiful experience

          I’ve heard music that falls into this category.

          1. Sloopy beat me to it.

        5. If a man is to cry he must weep openly and not wipe his face — he must still meet the eye of everyone who peers towards him.

      2. as I grew into adulthood

        JFC.

        1. Mlen do not cry. They manfully weep.

    2. Benjamin is in the process of becoming a minister, though still confused how he got there. To date his proudest accomplishment is going skydiving with his grandmother.

      1. Those euphemisms are confusing.

    3. I prefer the Ron Swanson guide to when crying is appropriate.

        1. *If you were in the Armed Forces, I highly recommend clicking this. Especially if you’ve ever been in combat. I haven’t, but it cracked me up.

    1. Huge hands!

  43. Are you ready for the Orangpocalypse?

  44. Yesterday I had to go to a company-wide meeting that was considered mandatory. And we had a guest speaker from the Urban League. He looked remarkably like Walter White.

    He began speaking of bias (conscious and unconscious) and then gave us a description of “othering”.

    When one of the plant managers asked “Why aren’t we celebrating the strides that America has had. After all there are now woman CEOs, we had a black president, etc”

    The answer (as I remember it) “It isn’t enough. Blacks are still underemployed. Women only make 72% of men, while Blacks and Hispanics make even less.” And the story is: othering all the way down.

    Next month is going to be about micro-aggressions. *sigh*

    To paraphrase John Derbyshire: “Do you remember when you went to work to work?”

    1. “Sir, why are you othering us?”

      1. My next question for that genius would be: “Why do you not respect the diversity of my cultural heritage too?” I may be described as white “Non-Hispanic” but that completely ignores the cultural background of my great grandparents (Scottish, Lithuanian, Mexican, Spanish Basque) and any cultural background picked up by my relatives’ life experiences that they have passed to me (for instance, my mom grew up in Hawaii, so I would say I’m partially Hawaiian culturally). If you want to play identity politics, I will make it as absolutely miserable and complicated for you as a I, a white mutt, can.

    2. Of course pointing out that the 72% figure is bullshit and that if people are “underemployed” it’s due to the choices they make would likely get you fired.
      I still don’t understand the propensity of companies to require proggie indoctrination.

      1. Because proggies are control freaks. You must submit to their will.

      2. All organs of society must serve the cause of Progress, comrade.

    3. “Those sound like management problems. Why are you telling the whole fucking company?”

    4. You need to quit. It’s bullshit to bring that into your workplace.

      1. Unless you work at a Social Justice Factory.

  45. I have to say that progressive tears are still delicious, ten weeks after the election–and Hillary losing is still hilarious.

    I’m not sure Trump winning over the accusations and objections of the SJWs and the press will ever stop being hilarious. It will always be there–funny as hell.

    When I’m feeling down, and I need a little pick-me-up, all I have to do is remember that somewhere SJWs are crying. They’re angry and they’re crying because America doesn’t give a shit about them anymore.

    1. They are even nice enough to flock to DC today to cry in front of cameras. I may watch an inauguration for the first time in my life just to see their Sad.

    2. I’m happy Obama isn’t president anymore (or soon won’t be). I’m happy Hillary lost.

      The tears and gnashing of teeth is starting to make me sad. That’s what I get for trying to be slightly optimistic about people, I guess.

      1. I’m with you, Zeb. It’s distressing to know that people can become so… broken is the only word I can come up with for it.

        1. Some of these people are my friends. And, yeah, broken is probably a good word for it. I feel like I should try to fix it somehow, but I know it’s probably an impossible task that would just ruin friendships to even attempt.

          1. Every now and then I get the urge to say “you don’t really believe that, do you?” but then I think better of it and just let the matter drop. Unless it’s a family member, I don’t mind arguing with them.

      2. Try to think how obnoxious they might be if Hillary had won.

        Try to think of Hillary pushing single payer and SC justices that are hostile to our First Amendment and Second Amendment rights–and them cheering her on.

        And then their tears will become delicious all over again–like morning dew for the soul.

    3. Prog hysteria and impotent rage is even funnier. These protests are hilarious.

    1. Constitutional carry, the only thing about Vermont that isn’t repulsive.

      1. That and the mountains (the one that weren’t clear-cut for windmill farms).

      2. Oh, now. Except for like half of the people who live there, Vermont is lovely.

  46. Melania is dressed like an updated version of Jackie O.

    http://j.tinyurl.com/hq9xlxe

    Except Jackie would have worn a pillbox hat with those long gloves, and Melania is wearing–are those 5″ heels?

    1. Trump looks like his puppy died.

      Melania: yum

    2. They just showed her handing Michelle Obama a gift and Barack Obama was hectoring her about needing to learn protocol. She looked pretty unimpressed by being talked down to. Trump all but ignored him.

      Of course, CNN piled on about the importance nay, necessity, of the Trump’s learning the proper way to handle these events in the future. As if Trump gives a fuck if some news agency whines because he was supposed to shake someone’s hand a certain way or his wife is supposed to kiss to the left cheek first instead of the right cheek.

      1. Yeh, I’m pretty sure Obama was picture perfect on protocols and etiquette.

        GTFOH.

        1. He might have been shaky in the first few years, but by the end of his term he was AWESOME at bowing. Very deep bows to Saudi princes and Chinese commies. Perfect.

          1. You seem to have a broken L key… I noticed a couple of them missing.

          2. Don’t forget the bow/ handshake combo to the Emperor of Japan. Looked like he was gonna shine the man’s shoes, and Naruhito was QUITE amused by it….
            Of course, Obama looked like a fool…. but that’s nothing new.

          3. Oh, Obama bows like a champ. He bowls like, let me make sure I have this right, like he’s in the Special Olympics.

            Im sure it’ll be perfectly acceptable when Trump makes fun of physically disabled people.

      2. The appropriate response to that would be “Oh I know! These are my *most favorite* DVDs!”

  47. Lol. CNN’s coverage needs a new diaper. They’ve already filled their current one and it’s starting to smell.

    1. I’m watching NBC. Pretty much sums it up: “It just kills Trump that he didn’t win the popular vote.”

      1. Yeah, I bet that’s what he’s thinking instead of “I bet this asshole wished he hadn’t have shit-talked me now”.

      2. I’d love to see some analysis of the “popular vote” for the various parties – especially the ruling party – in systems with Parliamentary government.

        1. As shown here, the Libs got 148 seats with around 40% of the vote in 2015, and the Tories got 60 seats with 31% of the vote. FPTP riding-based seat system.

          Bear in mind, there has been bitching about this system for years, and everyone talks about voting reform.

        2. Hillary just showed up. Oh, man. This is going to be DEEElishus.

      3. Probably not as much as it kills Hillary that she didn’t win the electoral vote

    2. On the Tweeters, all hell has broken loose. Reporters Tweeting pics of people’s vehicles that have Trump signs on them. Like, OMG – no wai! People put Trump signs on their cars?!!?!? Gotta Tweet that out ASAP!! Protestors near the White House?? WTF? How could that happen??? Moar Tweets!

  48. “Violence broke out between Trump supporters and “antifa” demonstrators outside the pro-Trump “DeploraBall” Thursday night, with some in the fray pepper-sprayed by D.C. police. (Also, Vermin Supreme was sighted.)”

    From the first link – Gideon Resnik at the Daily Beast completely misses that the ‘Deplora Ball’ was named such to mock those on the left who insult and malign DT supporters as deplorable, nazis, racists, KKK etc because the accusations are laughable and insults and maligns them. He even invokes the mythical beast known as the alt-right.

    These people really have no idea what is going on around them and are unaware when they parody themselves. Keep it up lefty idiots. Keep it up. You provide endless entertainment.

    1. Keep it up lefty idiots. Keep it up. You provide endless entertainment.

      I’d rather they be dead than I be entertained. The left is genuinely evil. But my options are limited so I’ll take the entertainment.

      1. Since I value human life, I’d rather they just be in a different polity that doesn’t affect me, so I can watch them fail with no one else to blame but their idiotic beliefs, and laugh and laugh and laugh.

        Granted, they’ll still probably die in large numbers, but at their own hands.

        1. Yes human life is valuable. I guess a better way to phrase it would be a preference for their non-existence, not necessarily their death. So don’t worry, lefties are safe from me until I find some sort of genie or magic stick or some such thing.

    2. I’ve found that progressivism disables the body’s sense of humor.

  49. So, judging by the social medias today, the leftists didn’t actually expect the inauguration to take place? Because they’re all shitting their pants as if today is a complete surprise.

    1. They believed that if only their outrage was expressed loudly and frequently enough, they could wish away the whole thing. That not happening has thrown them into total despair.

      1. If only their impotent outrage could be harnessed. It’d be better than a fucking fusion reactor.

      2. Too many people seem to have believed that motivational poster lie “If you can dream it, you can do it.” No, no you can’t. That’s not how things work.

    2. An amazing number of them convinced themselves that deus ex machina would swoop in at the last minute.

      I cant help but laugh. They live in an alternate reality.

      1. “deus ex machina would swoop in….”

        Love it.
        Hey, actually she did, and in a white pants suit, no less. There’s still hope!

        1. Hillary and Bill are going to go in, guns blazin’, and free America! /comic book

    3. The reality of being out of power is hitting them today. They don’t seem to be taking it well.

      1. Is there an outline of a bottle of booze showing on the Hillary pantsuit?

    4. Every sunrise is a surprise to some people.

  50. Apparently Kellyanne Conway thought it was a costume ball and dressed up as George Washington – WTF is she wearing??

    1. I was thinking Cap’n Crunch.

  51. I can’t wait to inaugurate a president with a 32% approval rating and who lost the election by 3 million votes. Let’s do this!

    Pretty small crowd. Are there more protesters or supporters?

    1. Need a hankie?

    2. You don’t have to wait you evil fuckstick. Get a box of kleenex and turn on your tv.

    3. who lost the election by 3 million votes

      If you like pretending that we have a completely different electoral system than we actually do. All elections in the US happen at state level or lower.

      1. Zeb, really….?!!! C’mon, man. He’s throwing a tantrum, not looking for a civics lesson.

        1. As much as i pick on Mikey for his brainlessness, amsoc is probably at least as stupid.

        2. Hey, pointless and inappropriate seriousness is kind of my thing. Gimme a break.

          1. Your self-awareness has increased by 1. Your self-awareness score is now at maximum!

    4. who lost the election by 3 million votes.

      Not how an American election works, and not relevant.

      Screaming “I DON’T KNOW HOW FEDERALISM WORKS” just shows you’re a moron.

    5. who lost the election by 3 million votes.

      You misspelt, who won the election by 77 votes

    6. What’s up with the 32% approval thingy? I saw his approval at 51% on Rasmussen this morning. And they were the closest on the election, IIRC.

      1. Progs prefer their polls to be heavily biased with democrats (especially the angry type), because that produces the results they would like to be real, and thus create that reality. Kind of like how they believe that if they push their insane and illogical ideas hard enough, claiming them as fact, they become reality.

    7. I CAN’T WAIT TO SAMPLE SOME MORE DELICIOUS SALTY AMSOC HAM TEARS!!!

      MOAR PLEASE!!!

      NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM…

      Oh, you clueless buffoon, please keep it up!!

      1. I didn’t vote for Clinton and quite openly celebrated her defeat as a wake up call to the Democratic Party so no tears from me. I’m for peace and prosperity so highlighting contradictions isn’t my bag, but what other strategy can you employ when a crony capitalist and fascist who lost the election by 3 million votes enters office?

        1. I’m for peace and prosperity

          I’m’a stop you there, you lying liar, you.

        2. peace and prosperity

          where:

          “peace” = war
          “prosperity” = poverty

        3. There, there… It’ll be okay.

          Oh, and per the stupid “fascist” claim? [citation needed]
          He hasn’t done anything, so stop making the word useless before he actually does things that would make him a fascist.

  52. FML. Some asshole turned up the volume on the TV. Said “I just want to see the Obamas leave”.

    Gah. GAH.

    Noise cancelling headphones: on.

    1. In a contest between insufferable Team Reds and insufferable Team Blues, the losers are the involuntary audience.

      1. A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

        1. The woman in the next office has the radio running to make sure she catches each (to her) delicious moment. I may fire her ass.

          My only delicious moment would be to see the look on Hillary’s face. As much as I despise Trump, I have to admit that she’s even more evil.

    2. Off the subject. Have you tuned in on Taboo? First impressions? I really like the look and feel of it, but it’s been a bit of a slow build so far.

      1. I liked the first episode, though I hope going forward it takes the time to better develop some of the side characters. I’m not sure how they plan to appeal to people who aren’t 19th-century British history buffs, though.

    3. I have this app running with my noise cancelling headphones. Serenity now!

    4. TV-B-Gone, KK. Told you.

      Sorry, though.

    5. I have some friends who are saying that, but I don’t think for the same reason as your office asshole.

  53. Reading about the leftards assaulting the Deploraball attendees makes me really want to kick those punks in the nuts. Keep it up and 2020 will be a repeat of Nixon vs McGovern for the dems.

  54. Hillary looks….shall we say….less than pleased to be there.

  55. This was in my FB feed this morning:

    I’m not wishing death on anyone, but if George Bush I is about to die, could it please be on Thursday night? Right before the inaugeration (sic), but enough time for the flags to be lowered, the tributes to brought out (sic). In time for the people to question the propriety of lavish celebrations on a day on (sic) national mourning.

    You can’t parody this shit.

    1. Tell your friend that wishing death on one public figure for the sole purpose of mildly and mostly symbolically inconveniencing another is hella classy.

      1. Amazingly, every reply to her was a variation of “oh, what a great idea! I was thinking the same thing!”

        I absolutely don’t mention politics on FB, it would be professional death for my wife.

    2. You can’t parody this shit.

      No kidding. I’m signed up to get posts from a writer because his writing advice is really excellent. But, like many artists, that also means posting about politics. I don’t read them a whole lot but he strikes me as an MSNBC-progressive. His post this morning was titled “No One’s Coming To Save Us, So We Have To Save Each Other.” And, he (and people who comment) really believe the world is coming to an end.

      1. My wife is an artist, so she won’t even look at FB. She got at least a dozen offers via email for a ride to DC so she could participate in the protests. Being far more of a diplomat than I am, she didn’t tell them to go fuck themselves. Besides which, she won’t go anywhere unless she’s carrying and that’s a tough thing to do there.

        1. I’m not so much diplomatic as pragmatic. If people write that stuff and believe it, there’s very little chance you can have any kind of rational conversation with them.

          1. I’m not so much diplomatic as pragmatic

            Yeah, I tend to just shut up and try hard not to laugh out loud when we’re face to face with Progs for just that reason.

        2. Besides which, she won’t go anywhere unless she’s carrying and that’s a tough thing to do there.

          What’s up with the national reciprocity bill winding its way through the process? I don’t remember hearing anything on it the past week or so.

      2. “No One’s Coming To Save Us, So We Have To Save Each Other.”

        Now if only they would remember this when their guys are in power.

        1. Au contraire. When the right people are in power, those right people WILL be coming to save us.

          1. Unless you’re dumb enough to work security at a diplomatic compound.

      3. Sigh. Yeah. The only social media site I’ve ever found interesting is Twitter, but this election basically killed the experience for me: too many people abandoning the subjects they’re actually knowledgeable and interesting about to screech about Trump.

  56. I have the C-Span live feed going….Hillary looks intoxicated, Christie looks hungry.

    1. Does Huma look like she’s still trying to work a cyst out of her teeth?

  57. It’s uncanny really. Someone mentioned Truman and all I can think of is The Truman Show. The damn foursome all there — Carter, W, Obama, and now the new clown, to boot. And the lemmings continue marching to polls, pining for some long gone Beowulf to protect us once again, relinquishing every individual right and sense of purpose that should be sacred and personal.
    “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

    1. The Truman Show

      When I went to see this, 10 minutes in, my wife leaned over and whispered, “For the Earth is hollow and I have touched the sky!”

      1. You are lucky to have such a wife.

        1. Yes. Yes I am.

    2. How could I miss it? And Bill there as well.

  58. how many more people are going to be protesting Trump than supporting him one day after Trump’s inauguration? Give him a chance, antifa nation.

    1. ARISE IN REVOLUTION, COMRADES! WE HAVE THE NUMBERS! NO PASARAN!!!!

  59. I could never see the Ivanka appeal; I think it was because I knew the clown’s genes were within. not to mention my being a geezer compared to the rest of you.
    But I’m starting to get there…

    1. The appeal is that she’s a statuesque blonde with a pretty face. Pretty simple, really.

      1. with a pretty face

        Really? I always thought she was pretty horsey.

        1. Nah, she’s cute and looks perhaps more normal-looking than the Melania model type. She also comes off quite intelligent and down-to-earth which increases her attractiveness by a wide margin.

        2. She brought out the Brony vote. This explains everything.

      2. Sometimes I think the boobs are fake. I mean, to each his own and all but I prefer real. And like I said, there’s still the Donald genetic codling. Whatever.

    2. It could be that you’re gay?

      1. Never considered that. I’ll think on it.

    1. A re-enactment of Cash for Clunkers, perhaps?

    2. ‘Demonstrators’. Gosh I hate when rioters are given a pass because of ideology

    3. Trustifarian college dropouts can’t grasp that because mom or dad would simply buy them a new toy to replace the one they broke.

    4. I’m rooting for the DC police to be their thuggish best in this case.

    5. I wanted to do an ad series featuring African-American business owners from Ferguson standing in front of their hollowed-out smoking rubble shops holding signs like “Why would destroy my livelihood?” etc.

    6. Let’s destroy shit poor people use to show how much we love poor people!

      Ah, the cornerstone of Baltimore politics.

  60. Kevil Williamson: If the outcome of an election sends you into a condition necessitating the use of diapers, then your government is too big and your president too powerful.

    It is pleasant to imagine a galaxy of little lightbulbs going off over millions of heads in Berkeley and on the Upper West Side as the basic good sense of the libertarian disposition becomes clear to progressives so expensively educated that they’ve never had to think very much about it. Congratulations, comrades! Your Koch Brothers secret-agent decoder ring is in the mail, along with your complimentary Bastiat books.

    No, they aren’t for coloring in.

    1. It is hard to tell from the blurry photo, but isnt that Kerri-Kenny Silver with the stun gun?

  61. The same friend who was shitting himself yesterday about the proposed elimination of NEA and NEH, and the privatization of CPB, today posted how government should be afraid of the people, not the other way around. Resisting the temptation to lecture him. He is just too unaware to actually get it. Sad.

    1. Not worth it. That kind has outstanding skills when it comes to cognitive dissonance.

  62. I’ve always had two parents, but at this moment I can understand the thoughts of a child whose Mom has divorced a good and doting father in favor of a sexual pervert who has a nice Trans-Am.

    1. That’s not surprising. Your mentality is entirely childish anyway.

    2. Speaking of government fuckups, emissions standards ruined the Trans Am and at least a dozen other great cars.

      Thanks for reminding me, asshole.

    3. NOM. NOM. NOM.

    4. Joe Biden is your step-dad?

    5. At least you don’t feel like a kid who’s dad got blown up in a drone strike because he was a military age male who lived in the same village as a suspected terrorist.

  63. Loving the W grins and nods to the big O. I can just hear it:
    “I told ya!!! I did!!! I knew you’d embrace the sword, you sleazy faker.”
    “Cool it, George. All your fault!”

    1. I feel like any sane person would feel the greatest sense of relief imaginable to be done with the Oval Office.

  64. socialism is far superior to creating prosperity than capitalism

    1. Venezuela and North Korea would like to talk to you. Not to mention the USSR.

      1. Those aren’t really socialist/communist systems though! They’re really capitalist!

    2. You gonna sit there and let some upstart wag horn in on your shtick, amsoc?

      1. Nono… I support this doppelg?nger. He sounds like a smart guy.

        1. High praise from one dumbass to another….

    3. Wait a minute … I sense the troll has become the trollee.

  65. up to I saw the paycheck which had said $8845 , I have faith that my friends brother woz like actualy erning money part-time on their apple labtop. . there aunt had bean doing this 4 only 7 months and resently took care of the morgage on there mini mansion and bought themselves a Lancia . view it now….

    ========http://www.joinpay40.com

  66. I support this speech about little people in factories, crumbling infrastructure, out of touch crony capitalists, etc. You go, Hugo Chavez!

    No, but seriously, this inaugural speech is pretty much the worst. I was willing to give him a chance, but 10 minutes in I’ve pretty much had enough.

    1. So open-minded of you, fucktard…

      NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

    2. I was willing to give him a chance

      I know, right? If only he had shown up at the inauguration with a Che t-shirt and Mao’s little red book in his hands, he could’ve redeemed himself in your eyes.

  67. OT: why do the click bait pics for ‘5 online dating sites that actually work!’ always have redheads in them? Is everyone else getting this or just me? Most of the ethnic porn I watch is black or Asian. Maybe I searched ‘redhead’ once out of curiosity but only once. Now they’re treating me like I have all some kind of ginge fetish. It’s kind of insulting.

  68. “‘El Chapo’ has been extradited from Mexico and appears in federal court in Brooklyn today.”

    In a way, all of us has an El Chapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Chapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Chapo. For us, El Chapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Chapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Chapo!

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.