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Cultural Appropriation

Rob Schneider's Paella and the Mortal Sin of Cultural Appropriation

"When celebrities-and celeb chefs like Jamie Oliver-render Spain's beloved dish unrecognizable, our culture suffers."

Nick Gillespie | 1.2.2017 1:26 PM

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Maybe Salon was just consciously closing out 2016 as it began the year: a parody of its former self. But a few days ago, it actually ran an article denouncing Rob Schneider's version of paella as an awful act of cultural appropriation. Seriously.

The trouble began when the SNL, Deuce Bigalow, and Real Rob actor tweeted out this image of a meal he was making:

We just put the Paella in the oven!! Que rico!! pic.twitter.com/skUit0zucG

— Rob Schneider (@RobSchneider) December 25, 2016

Among Schneider's unspeakable crimes are that traditional paella is cooked in a special pan, doesn't include "massive raw lobster tails," and never has chorizo in it.

Salon's Mireia Triguero Roura notes that "Spaniards were outraged" and that Rob Schneider (!) was for a while a trending Twitter item in Spain. And even as she notes that "no two [Spanish] towns can fully agree on what exactly you need to put in a paella," she writes,

It is hard to talk about cultural appropriation in food….at the heart of Spaniards' battle to keep chorizo out of paellas around the world is the sense of protecting a sacred identity….Krishnendu Ray, a New York University professor of food studies, argues in "The Ethnic Restaurateur" that white chefs have more freedom to play with other people's food than chefs of color do, which creates an inherent inequality in the field. To that, I would add that in a world where most people turn to the Internet to find recipes — and English is the de facto lingua franca of the online world — English-speaking chefs not only have more freedom to play around, but they also have the power to ultimately transform traditional dishes from other countries, without so much as an acknowledgement.

As the article's sub-headline wraps up the meaning of the piece, "When celebrities—and celeb chefs like Jamie Oliver—render Spain's beloved dish unrecognizable, our culture suffers."

Whole thing here.

Amazon

At the risk of going full Tonto, you gotta ask, "Who's we, kemo sabe?" Admittedly, I write from a position of white privilege. Though none of my Irish or Italian grandparents, who each emigrated to the United States in the mid-1910s, were considered fully white or American as they passed through Ellis Island, I grew up in a post-Godfather America where even Italian gangsters were considered fully in The American Grain (to use the title to William Carlos Williams' 1925 masterpiece about the fluidity and open-endedness of American identity). But seriously, are you fucking kidding me?

Now, I happen to like Rob Schneider more than most eggheads (his comic turn in Seinfeld alone vaults him to demigod status) and I like paella a lot too (though I have no idea how "authentic" any of the types I've eaten here and in Spain really were). But we need to reframe this discussion unless we want to waste our entire lives endlessly scolding one another for this or that thought/hate crime. As the linguist John McWhorter has written, charging someone with cultural appopriation "has morphed into a handy way of being offended by something that should be taken as a compliment." That certainly seems to be the case here, unless Schneider is secretly part of an arch conspiracy to destroy Spanish cuisine and assimilate into some Hollywood borg of bland liberal whiteness.

There's another point that is typically overlooked in such discussions, which is simply this: All "culture" is based on appropriation. Yes, some people are more mindful than others and more serious or more playful in rummaging through source materials. And who among us doesn't look back at our initial attempts at cooking an "authentic" meal or writing an "authentic" song or story and laugh at our younger and less-sophisticated selves? Every time I hear ELP or Yes play classical music, I laugh at the to-my-mind sad attempts by great musicians to show that they are not just rock stars but classically trained. Sometimes our attempt at imitation leads to a deep study of the original sources and other times it leads to something totally different. Think of how Bob Dylan has assimilated and transmuted countless musical and literary traditions into something that is vastly influential and yet totally idiosyncratic; think of how what we consider yoga was essentially created by a Russian emigre who took it to mid-century American living rooms. This much I know for sure: Whatever constituted, say, Italian American or Irish American identity in 1915 is almost unrecognizable to me, and even less so to my kids, who are even more of an admixture shot through with world culture that was almost completely unavailable to me growing up in 1970s' America. My mother, who grew up speaking Italian and whose parents never learned English despite living in America for 60-plus years, wasn't overly troubled by Chef Boyardee's inedible canned ravioli (half of my childhood, we called it Tuesday dinner).

In 2015, Reason contributor Cathy Young (who escaped the Soviet Union as a child), wrote about cultural appropriation thus:

Appropriation is not a crime. It's a way to breathe new life into culture. Peoples have borrowed, adopted, taken, infiltrated and reinvented from time immemorial. The medieval Japanese absorbed major elements of Chinese and Korean civilizations, while the cultural practices of modern-day Japan include such Western borrowings as a secularized and reinvented Christmas. Russian culture with its Slavic roots is also the product of Greek, Nordic, Tatar and Mongol influences—and the rapid Westernization of the elites in the 18th century. America is the ultimate blended culture.

Stilyagi

Attempts to police cultural appropriation as a form of racism or oppression not only fail in practical terms, they are profoundly misguided,especially in an American context. They are also increasingly a way to smack down less-enlightened, less-rich, and less-privileged people, as when Oberlin students protested the inauthenticity of ethnic cuisine prepared by workers who almost certainly will never have the money or opportunity to attend such a place for education (Triguero Roura cites this incident positively in her Salon piece). In the United States, punishment for the sin of cultural appropriation is generally not particularly harsh. Schneider endured some Twitter abuse and pledged publicly to try again and do better (celebrity chef Jose Andres even tweeted that he'd even "bring the Paella pan." But as Charles Paul Freund reminded readers in 2002, autocrats with the power to imprison and torture are often exceptionally worried about cultural appopriation:

Cambodia's prime minister ordered tanks to raze the country's karaoke parlors. Last fall, Iran announced a new campaign against Western pop music and other "signs and symbols of depravity." And only last summer, the Central Asian Republic of Kazakhstan—just a few hundred miles north of Afghanistan—began a crackdown on dangerous "bohemian" lifestyles. The authorities went after a number of familiar outsiders—gays, religious dissidents—but even Westerners were surprised to learn that one targeted group was "Tolkienists." It turns out that there are Kazakh Hobbit wannabes who like to dress up in character costume and re-enact scenes from J.R.R. Tolkien's novels. For their trouble, they were being subjected to sustained water torture.

History is nothing if not a pageant of folly where the powerful dictate the terms under which "authentic" cultural and national identities are practiced; the Taliban famously banned men's haircuts fashioned after Leonardo DiCaprio's in Titanic and nail salons for women. Rock music was banned in the Soviet Union and Cuba as the apotheosis of Western decadence even as Beatles records were being burned in the South.

Tin-eared and uncharitable policers of cultural appopriation won't prevail any more than Soviet commisars managed to keep jazz and rock at bay or holier-than-thou puritans managed to keep their kids religious in 17th-century New England. But they can make the 21st century a little bit more dreary and constipated than it needs to be. Which is a damned, dirty shame.

Reason TV's Lexy Garcia recently interviewed Roy Choi, the LA-based chef credited with creating a food-truck revolution by popularizing a Korean-Mexican taco. Take a listen to what he says not just about attacks on cultural appropriation but also the ways in which the powers-that-be want to stop innovative ways of selling food.

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NEXT: Despite Ban, New York City Had More Airbnb Rentals Than Anywhere Else in the World on New Years Eve

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Though none of my Irish or Italian grandparents, who each emigrated to the United States in the mid-1910s, were considered fully white or American...

    I don't care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork! Food cultural appropriation will always be problematic!

    1. Brian   9 years ago

      I'll take all this cultural appropriation stuff seriously when people start boycotting Hamilton.

      1. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

        I'm boycotting Hamilton. Hell, I was boycotting Hamilton as soon as I heard of The Bank of the United States. Boycotting the play too.

        1. Charles Easterly   9 years ago

          I logged back in to post a similar reference, AA, while simultaneously criticizing Brian for misunderstanding Fist's The Godfather reference (while simultaneously seeming to misunderstand Brian's reference).

          I intended to use bad grammer and pore spelling as well.

          1. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

            Try not being so obvious next time.

          2. Radioactive   9 years ago

            +1

        2. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

          Me too. I always ask for two fives instead.

    2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      He's a McWop.

      /ducks tomatoes.

      1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

        At the risk of going full Tonto, you gotta ask, "Who's we, kemo sabe?"

        Kemo Sabe - from the Ojibwe word giimoozaabi, meaning "he who peeks".

        "No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Gillespie. A guy opens his door and peeks in on me and criticizes what I call my food dishes, and you think that of me? No. I AM THE ONE WHO PEEKS!" - Salon's Mireia Triguero Roura

        1. DblEagle   9 years ago

          Tonto is the Apache word for stupid. I always enjoyed that about the Lone Ranger. Both leads insulting each other.

          1. Karen24   9 years ago

            Also the Spanish one.

    3. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

      My food is problematic

      1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        Aren't you on the ball.

        1. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

          Yep

  2. Rhywun   9 years ago

    That looks like something out of one of my worst nightmares.

    #saynotoseabugs

    1. SugarFree   9 years ago

      Yeah, it's a big glass pan of stuff I'm deathly allergic to. Yummy.

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Luckily, if I have that problem (?) the projectile vomiting takes care of it for me.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          It's a great way to lose weight.

      2. SIV   9 years ago

        According to wikipedia the most authentic animal ingredient in REAL PAELLA is Southwestern water vole meat

        It would take a lot of tick bites to make you allergic to that meat.

        1. Dilligaf   9 years ago

          Well, Fuck me with an encyclopedia! Learn something new every day. You are pretty fucking smart, kid. Did you get beat up a lot in school ?

    2. John Titor   9 years ago

      You're just not being creative enough with them.

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Long live the new flesh! Of sorts!

      2. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

        Oh, man, I need to watch that movie again. I forgot all about this.

    3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      Yeah...it looks like something a 12 year old threw together out of a mishmash of things he likes but don't go together. Rob, you are a great comedian. Leave the cooking to me.

  3. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    "Admittedly, I write from a position of white privilege."

    Are you fucking serious?

    1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

      Sarcasm meter, calibration thereof, etc.

      1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

        I'm not so sure on this one.

        1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

          Then recalibration is impossible, it's been shocked too much. You'll need to buy a new one.

        2. Rhywun   9 years ago

          It seemed pretty clearly sarc to me.

        3. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

          100%, guaranteed, absolute, doubtless sarcasm.

          1. Hrimnir   8 years ago

            I don't know. Maybe he has been hanging out with Robby too much lately?

            Also, Poe's Law.

        4. Suthenboy   9 years ago

          I'm not either Playa. In fact, I cant tell if anything in that article is serious, parody, fiction or what. This reads like the front page of Bizarroland News. I don't even mean Nick, I mean the subject matter and events described. The whole thing is a discussion that should be taking place on the chronic wing of the local mental hospital.

          This is what happens when we let people take our children, insulate them from reality and pump their heads full of scrambled shit during their formative years.

          1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

            It's what happens when something shifts under us. Salon is now pretty well known for what it is -- hyperbole in the pursuit of unthinking emotional Progessivism. But it used to have honest articles. I had a subscription for a while. When they began the shift, it took me a while to figure out that the new nonsense was actually believed by its writers and editors.

            So any response to a Salon article by non-proggies has to be presumed as either sarcasm by a veteran or lolwut y a rookie. Nick is no rookie.

            1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

              It wasn't aimed at Nick, it is aimed at the fact that we are even having this discussion.

        5. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

          It is amazing to me that people on here deny the existence of white privilege. Of course that is a thing. What is important is that it is irrelevant for any sort of political purposes, just like black privilege, gay privilege, intelligence privilege, good looks privilege, tall privilege, or any other sort of privilege arising out of the fact that people are fucking different.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

            In case anyone is wondering, gay privilege is being able to pull off wearing a sleeveless, side-zip sweater.

            1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

              And mulatto privilege is being able to link to any video you damn well please, without worrying about NSWF warnings.

            2. Sevo   9 years ago

              To show off the tats, I assume.

          2. Azathoth!!   8 years ago

            It is amazing to me that anyone on here can accept the idea of the existence of white privilege and still have the temerity to think that they're a rational human being, never mind a libertarian.

            FTFY

    2. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      You know Roberto is just funning you.

      1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

        By Roberto, you mean Nicolai?

        1. Mantis Toboggan, Jr.   9 years ago

          I think Eugenio was doing a bit.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

            You're the only one who gets me.

      2. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

        Some of those Russians are stilyagi after all these years.

        1. Charles Easterly   9 years ago

          The music around the slightly reminded me of the first Godfather movie.

          (I have not watched the movie past the first three minutes)

          1. Charles Easterly   9 years ago

            "The music around the" 3:00 mark "slightly reminded me...."

            Sheesh (at self)

        2. Booger Cannibal   9 years ago

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5fjnvfeE7A

    3. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      The author is a known serial killer who has no respect for bovine Americans and wears their skins.

  4. Rhywun   9 years ago

    white chefs have more freedom to play with other people's food than chefs of color do

    lolwut

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Also, Spaniards are "chefs of color" now? How does that work?

      1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

        Hispanic, bro. Hispaniola. The word may be culturally appropriated, but the feels remains valid.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          So the drops of color found their way back to Spain by some sort of reverse osmosis? Got it.

          1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

            Progressive Science, man. Look at all the wonders it's done for Economics and Social Justice Warfare.

            1. BigT   9 years ago

              Hence 'white hispanic' Zimmerman

          2. Spartacus   8 years ago

            It's the 0.2% Moorish that makes them "of color". I guess.

            Seriously, though, I think the "stupidest statement of 2017" contest is already over. Sad!

        2. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

          People from Spain get to check "Hispanic" on school and occupational applications, and get the same affirmative-action style advantages that a person from Mexico or El Salvador would get. I've seen a number of individuals take advantage of this, and had a residency classmate from Spain who helped fill the program's diversity requirement. But if you are from that same Iberian peninsula, but just happened to be on the wrong side of the border, in Portugal -- oops, sorry, you are an oppressive white person, no soup for you.

          Many years ago I dated a blond-haired, blue-eyed woman who looked about as Nordic as one could be. But her parents lived in Argentina, so she got to check off that she was of Hispanic descent. She got into law school with pretty mediocre grades and LSAT scores after that.

          1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

            I used to go out of my way to choose minority or female doctors when I switch companies or they switched health plans. Then along came affirmative action and ruined it.

            1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

              So affirmative action has made it so you are more likely to get competent doctor if you pick a white one? Unintended consequences.. how do they work?

          2. JayU   9 years ago

            I've got family in Brooklyn. They adopted a couple kids, one from Guatemala. When the Guatemalan kid went to apply for the highly competitive schools, he wasn't allowed to apply as a diversity child because his adoptive parents are white. So as far as the city of New York is concerned, he is also white and doesn't count.

          3. Ted S.   9 years ago

            Was Carmen Miranda Hispanic or not?

            (She was born in Portugal, but moved to Brazil at a young age.)

          4. Episteme   9 years ago

            Under the odd definitions for "Hispanic," based heavily on colonial history, I still remain ever-tempted to claim that descent from the Dutch of the Spanish Netherlands gives me the right of proggie benefits!

          5. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

            Conquistador has such a better ring. Can it be added?

            1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

              Only if they wear a Spanish comb morion.

              1. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

                Grooviest helmets in the West!

      2. John Titor   9 years ago

        Many Americans project their moronic race obsession onto every culture that is even vaguely foreign to them?

    2. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      Hmmmm. Wonder if Carla Harris on The Chew would agree?

  5. Marty Feldman's Eyes   9 years ago

    white chefs have more freedom to play with other people's food than chefs of color do,

    [citation needed]

  6. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    This article is an absolute waste of Lobster Tails and Nick Gillespies.

    1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

      No it's great fun to laugh at these clowns.

    2. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      I hear he is best as a leftover the next day.

  7. Juice   9 years ago

    Admittedly, I write from a position of white privilege.

    sigh

    1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

      You too? Sarcasm meter needs calibration.

      1. Juice   9 years ago

        Who the hell knows these days?

        1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

          Wait .... are you being sarcastic?

  8. Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper   9 years ago

    Admittedly, I write from a position of white privilege.

    I had to double check that Robby didn't write this. Anyway, no, Nick, no you don't. No one does. There's no such thing. The concept of "white privilege" is a lazy, racist trope that ignores the very real influences of socio-economics, culture, family history, a whole host of variables that go to creating the background against which an individual creates himself or herself.

    1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

      A third sarcasm meter out of calibration! What happened? Was it the Trump win which shocked everybody so much? Did you not carry your sarcasm meter in its approved Safe Space Pouch?

      1. Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper   9 years ago

        I'm not sure it's sarcasm, but even if it is, using the term jokingly still solidifies its place in language as a real term with a legitimate meaning. There's nothing that pisses me off more than when some idiot trots out the term "white privilege", and I'm going to make 2017 the year that I stop putting up with that shit.

    2. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      "I had to double check that Robby didn't write this."

      Yeeeep. I scrolled back up to make sure.

    3. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      White privilege appears to refer to the state of not being impoverished, bot being illiterate, and not being abused by the police or suspected of being a criminal.

      In other words, the normality that everyone should have.

      If you have it you are supposed to feel guilty, and submit to punishment because you "stole" it from those who have subnormal lives, due either to failed government, most often Democratic, policies or bad life choices and inadequate parents.

      1. Marty Feldman's Eyes   9 years ago

        If you have it you are supposed to feel guilty,

        The point isn't for you to feel guilty, the point is the sentence you had just said:

        In other words, the normality that everyone should have.

        Yeah, I wish it were put a little differently, I think it comes at it from the wrong angle and it's not as applicable nearly as often as it's trotted out, but you basically made the point. Not everyone currently has that "normality".

      2. Akira   9 years ago

        "and not being abused by the police or suspected of being a criminal."

        Well, NOBODY really gets to enjoy that luxury anymore.

  9. OneOut   9 years ago

    OT: So who pissed off the Links Makers ?

    Did we not donate enough ?

    Are they still too hungover ?

    Will H&R Links resume as the #1attraction here at Reason ?

    1. Duke of url   9 years ago

      #3..... duh.

  10. wef   9 years ago

    Taco Bell

    1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      You quiero

      1. El Oso   9 years ago

        Como?

        1. Charles Easterly   9 years ago

          Playa No say.

          If you know what I mean (and I think that you do).

          1. Wasteland Wanderer   9 years ago

            If you know what I mean (and I think that you do).

            No se.

            1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

              Bless you

  11. OldMexican Blankety Blank   9 years ago

    "Spaniards were outraged"

    Nobody cares what a bunch of Gachupinos say.

    [...] "white chefs have more freedom to play with other people's food than chefs of color do, which creates an inherent inequality in the field."

    White chef privilege.

    I had to laugh. That was the funniest stupid thing I have read in months.

  12. SugarFree   9 years ago

    Huh. I appears that Mireia Triguero Roura wrote her drivel in English.

    1. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

      Reverse cultural appropriation!

  13. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

    Great, now I want a Korean-Mexican taco.

    Crying cultural appropriation, like PC, has at its heart a good idea: be thoughtful before opening your big mouth, or wearing a feathered headdress at Coachella etc. But that good idea gets ignored in favour of the fun of virtue signalling (if you're an SJW), or signalling how bravely non-PC you are (which often is really another type of virtue signalling). In the end, they have just fuelled some people's basic dickishness to either be a bully or a rude arsehole. And anyone of good will gets pelted by both sides.

    1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      My lunch.

      1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

        I could go that short rib taco

      2. Jimmy Free Trade Pirate   9 years ago

        That Blackjack Quesadilla looks incredible.

        1. Marty Feldman's Eyes   9 years ago

          I love kogi tacos, but every time I've had something other than the basic tacos, it's a gooey over the top mess, and not in a good way- it's just gross. I've had that quesadilla, and it was nowhere near as good as it looks.

          1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

            Even the basic tacos are a little greasy. They fry the corn tortillas about 1/3 of the way to chips, which is one of the reasons why they're so delicious.

    2. Bill Dalasio   9 years ago

      Crying cultural appropriation, like PC, has at its heart a good idea

      No, it was never a good idea. The worthlessness of the idea is only hidden by how wildly inconsistent its proponents are in its implementation. The only honest way of implementing the practice would be the removal of all non-Anglo Saxons from our culture. And no, I don't approve of that sort of thing. And the proponents of this nonsense are the first to speak before thinking.

      Your error is one of overgenerousness. They were never interested in winning anyone's hearts or minds or achieving fairness. They were bullies out of the gate.

  14. The Fusionist   9 years ago

    Spaniards have always valued cultural authenticity. That's why, after they conquered as much of the world as they could grab, they fully respected the local cultures.

    1. SadlyShakingHead   9 years ago

      And Rob Schneider's wife is Mexican, with Spanish heritage. Would it be okay if she did the cooking, or is that still appropriation? Where's the cut off?

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        Hmmm...we're going to have to ask our distinguished panel of judges.

        On the one hand, Rob Schneider's wife has Spanish heritage, but it probably came from the rape of indigenous peoples. On the other hand, she can honor her indigenous heritage by seizing the cuisine of the dominant culture which was forced upon her. On the other other hand, this would be degrading to her raped ancestors. On the other other other hand, Spanish cuisine would only be a fair form of reparations. On the other other other other hand, she threw away the advantage of her oppressed status by marrying a white man and letting him misuse the reparations which she was supposed to use to make meals at a indigenous battered women's shelter.

        Ruling: Schneider is still white, and he still sucks.

      2. Austrian Anarchy   9 years ago

        He forced her to cook for him? SLAVER!

      3. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        Rob's maternal grandmother is also a Filippina, so he has some of his own mixed blood.

    2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      They did?

  15. The Fusionist   9 years ago

    "My name is Inigo Montoya. You appropriated my culture with your recipe. Prepare to...wait, what am I saying?"

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      ALTERNATE PUNCH LINE: "Prepare to diet."

      1. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

        Paging Swiss Servator .... paging ... owtf

        *narrows gaze*

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          Thanks for filling in.

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      Beautiful.

  16. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    We just need to expand copyright law to include cultural appropriation, and make any infringement, however small, punishable by death.

    1. BestUsedCarSales   9 years ago

      "I'd rather see a 100 innocent men die, then to have one more white kid talk about anime." - Sir William Blackstone

  17. The Fusionist   9 years ago

    Here's a good argument for "traditional" morality.

    If you become "enlightened" and stop feeling guilty for boning your neighbor's wife, then your guilt instinct doesn't disappear, it simply moves into other areas, like feeling guilty for made-up BS that doesn't hurt anyone.

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Or you even feel guilty for stuff that's actually good, like choosing the best school for your child.

  18. esteve7   9 years ago

    Notice how progs always have to speak for other people? "Spaniards were outraged"

    How about you say "I was outraged". Then it'll be more obvious what an insufferable cunt you are

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      The magic of Twitter is that "several idiots" = "an entire nation".

  19. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

    One of my 2017 resolutions is to ignore useless crap like this. Starting......NOW!

    1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

      See, it just made me crave paella with chorizo in it. In fact, it's becoming difficult to even imagine paella without chorizo as an integral ingredient.

  20. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    My thought was = now the spanish must know how it feels when economists look at their country.

  21. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

    OMG CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!

    'Mass molestation' in Bangalore blamed on Indians 'copying' west

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      The west ate my homework.

    2. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      So, the same thing happened in Times Square?

    3. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

      That awkward moment when social conservatives and progressive leftists realize how much they have in common.

  22. Mantis Toboggan, Jr.   9 years ago

    Que rico!!

    No accents, no inverted exclamation marks...NOT OKAY.

  23. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

    Pretty much every single cuisine depends upon so-called "cultural appropriation".

    Irish - potatoes from the Americas
    Thai, Sichuan, Indonesian - capsicum peppers from the Americas
    Mexican fajitas - black pepper from Asia and cheesemaking, beef fajita meat, and wheat flour from Europe
    Brazilian and Colombian coffee - coffee from Africa
    Swiss chocolate - cacao from Americas
    Argentine beef - beef cattle from Europe and black pepper from Asia
    New Zealand lamb - sheep from Europe and black pepper from Asia
    Lager beer (everywhere on the planet) - Germany

    The whole idea of culinary cultural appropriation is insane nonsense. It's a perfect cause for progressives.

    1. Agammamon   9 years ago

      Don't forget most pizza and marinara sauce - tomaters are a 'new world' plant.

      1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

        Indeed, the Italian diet was much different before the introduction of the tomatoes; and no less interesting.

        Ravioli with cinnamon for example.

        1. Paloma   9 years ago

          Spaghetti and noodles came from China

    2. El Oso   9 years ago

      I blame it all on pervasive global warming...

    3. Eric L   9 years ago

      Japanese - Tempura (the word itself is from Latin) deep frying cooking method from the Portuguese.
      Indian Vindaloo - vinegar from the Portuguese and potatoes from the Americas.
      Guamanian SPAM - from Hormel.

      1. Eric L   9 years ago

        Not food related but a cultural appropriation none-the-less:
        Britain - Monarchy from France, Spain and Germany.

  24. SugarFree   9 years ago

    WHYCOME YOU NO COOK WHITE FOOD?!?!?!?

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Mayo? Rice pudding? Vanilla soft-serve ice cream?

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        A Pope Jimbo hotdish?

        Yes, that's a euphemism, you freaks.

        1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

          Hold on. That is sort of hurtful.

          Of course after 25 years of marriage, my sex life is pretty much like hotdish. A bland comfortable mishmash of old leftovers.

          1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

            p.s. Please don't let Mrs. Holiness know I referred to her as old leftovers. I'd like to make it to 26 years.

  25. Drave Robber   9 years ago

    traditional paella is cooked in a special pan, doesn't include "massive raw lobster tails," and never has chorizo in it

    I put my chorizo in all your paella, not only traditional one.

    //those euphemisms

  26. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Salon's Mireia Triguero Roura notes that "Spaniards were outraged"

    How many Spaniards? I'm going to need to see millions of signed, notarized, affadavits. Otherwise, I'll just assume the vast majority of Spaniards couldn't give a fuck less about Rob Schneider's menu.

    This provides me an opening to make a reference to that NYT piece about hipsters appropriating lesbian culture; aside from what I can only regard as unintentional laugh-out-loud entertainment value, it highlights the desperate lefty need to compartmentalize, tribalize and collectivize every single person on the planet.

    "If I cannot assign you a specific identity classification, my world is upended."

    1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

      When you use Twitter as an original news source, then yes, there were tens of Spaniards outraged.

    2. ScareCroWoodChippeRepair   9 years ago

      It will be funny as hell if Spaniards start copying Rob's menu.

    3. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

      I seem to recall Spanish people considering the term "Spaniard" offensive, too.

    4. CraigL   8 years ago

      "If I cannot assign you a specific identity classification, my world is upended." very good observation. If someone is mixed race, this cannot be allowed--they must be assigned to the minority caste. If they fail to conform (e.g., by speaking white, see Drake for example) they will get abuse forever. A white person in South America who moves to the US magically becomes a disadvantaged hispanic. If a white man likes asians and married one, instead of giving him points for being a living example of overcoming prejudice, it is said (in sneering tones) that he has yellow fever. Tribalism in an increasingly mixed and complex world simply cannot do anything but cause chaos.

  27. Mongo   9 years ago

    Anyone know of a freaky DC pizza joint where 11yr old girls squat in your paella?

    Happy New Year!

    1. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      It's right under reason's office. Two slices and a drink is $7.

  28. Drave Robber   9 years ago

    By the way, this seems to be a replay from three months ago:

    Jamie Oliver angers Spaniards with 'insulting' paella recipe

    He put his chorizo in their paella, too.

    1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      Spanish chicks are sexy. I'd totally put my chorizo in their paellas.

      1. BruceMajors   9 years ago

        I don't like hairy food.

        1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

          Kids these days

  29. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    Here's a thought: if you can't make paella with chorizo and Rob Schneider put chorizo in that dish, then he ain't making paella, is he? And why the hell are these Spaniards appropriating American culture by stealing our Twitters?

    1. OneOut   9 years ago

      Chorizo in paella is like beans in chili.

      It's no longer chili.

      Deep dish pizza is for those who like a mouthful of dough with spicy catsup on top.

      Everybody knows this.

      1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

        I am not taking that bait. I am not going to do it.

        1. Radioactive   9 years ago

          DO IT, TAKE THE FUCKING BAIT and jam it up his paella!!!

      2. Lachowsky   9 years ago

        The only true pizza is a crust of unleavened bread, with a smashed tomato on top of it. That's it. A communion wafer and a crushed tomato or GTFO.

    2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      "stealing our Twitters?"

      They shouldn't even be using electricity.

  30. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

    Shorter article: everyone at Salon is an idiot. This just fits along with my comment earlier in the jobs thread. No shortage of jobs for derptards who specialize in race/etnicity, sexuality/gender derp at lefty derpsites. And also that they probably get more clicks from websites referencing how retarded they are. It's a giant circle jerk.

    1. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      Stalon just hired one conservatarian chick as a columnist. So now they have her, Greenwald, and sometimes Paglia. Three non-morons.

  31. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Krishnendu Ray, a New York University professor of food studies, argues in "The Ethnic Restaurateur" that white chefs have more freedom to play with other people's food than chefs of color do, which creates an inherent inequality in the field.

    My dishwasher harbors resentment that it was not born a Ferrari. Years of therapy have not put an end to its mopery.

    1. JayU   9 years ago

      Krishnendu sounds like a non-white person blaming outside factors and white people in general for his failed career as a chef.

      Am I the only person who doesn't walk into the kitchen of every restaurant I go to, just to be sure the guy cooking my food is white?

      1. BruceMajors   9 years ago

        In the DC area, it is actually true that if you go in the men's room of many inexpensive Asian restaurants, you will see that no one has ever cleaned the inside of the door and it is covered in greasy handprints. I'm now keeping stats.

        1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

          And yet you keep going in them?

  32. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

    I call all food paella. FYTW.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Plus (as my token Puerto Rican friend often notes) it's pronounced "PI-AA-JAH".

  33. Jimmy Free Trade Pirate   9 years ago

    I like to put andouille sausage in my paella. I like to call it jambalaya.

    =D

    1. BruceMajors   9 years ago

      Well, so what? Lots of libertarian are gay.

      1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

        Just one

      2. Mr Drew   9 years ago

        That was unfair but funny. I'll allow it.

      3. Jimmy Free Trade Pirate   9 years ago

        Well you guys are always looking for new and unique euphemisms. =D

  34. Giles   9 years ago

    Those "Soviet Stilyagi" kids are actually Teddy Boys from 50's London, but otherwise good article.

    1. SIV   9 years ago

      Teddy Jive

  35. Suthenboy   9 years ago

    "Salon's Mireia Triguero Roura notes that "Spaniards were outraged"

    No they weren't. You made that shit up Mireia. Even if you hadn't made that up, who gives a fuck?

    "Spaniards' battle to keep chorizo out of paellas around the world"

    Actually I wouldn't be surprised if some European country were trying to control what people half way around the world are doing in their kitchens, but I would have bet on the French.

    1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      So what exactly is the crime here? Is it the combination of things Rob put in the pan, or the fact that he used a certain word to describe it?

      1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

        He's white

      2. El Oso   9 years ago

        paella - pa' ella = for her

    2. Ted S.   9 years ago

      Actually, the EU as a whole is doing it.

      More interestingly, the Tokaj wine-making region has extended into Slovakia since the Treaty of Trianon in the 1920s, but when the region started distributing Tokaj wines internationally, the Hungarians had a shit-fit.

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        Then there was the time the French tried to make pasta and pissed off Italy.

        Barillo had to distance itself on social media. Cuisinewank is hi-larious.

        1. Ted S.   9 years ago

          "We're open to all kinds of variations on the carbonara, but this goes too far?d?sol? [sorry]," Barilla reportedly wrote on its official Facebook page.

          You mean the writer couldn't go to the official Facebook page to check?

        2. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

          I've eaten "pasta" in France. Calling it an abortion would be kind.

          1. Sevo   9 years ago

            Try a French "steak" some time.

        3. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

          Are you sure that was made in France and not the UK? Boiled bacon seems like something the British would commit.

  36. bournite   9 years ago

    I feel that Anglo-Saxon cultural heritage is robbed, humiliated and defamed everytime anyone without roots in the British Isles doesn't drop their load in the woods or inside a shack with a half moon on it. Why does everybody else feel so damned entitled to squeak one off and flush it seaward? If you don't come from a land where Halloween is celebrated your damned butt cheeks should not know the kiss of a toilet seat. I relive the pangs of cultural rape whenever I have to bum the roll from a third-worlder one stall over.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

      I hate to break it to you, but flush toilets are as old as the Indus Valley Civilization.

      1. bournite   8 years ago

        Look again breaker boy and read careful this time: http://www.history.com/news/as.....ush-toilet

      2. bournite   8 years ago

        Did you even read the article you linked to? Try not to be so lame please.

    2. Drave Robber   9 years ago

      a shack with a half moon on it

      Now, exactly that would be appropriation. Half moon doors are American thing, in Europe it's usually heart in cartoons and rhomboid in practice.

  37. Mantis Toboggan, Jr.   9 years ago

    Reason TV's Lexy Garcia

    She's going by Lexy now? Good god, she was already too saucy for my blood.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      SIV stalks her (that goes without saying, I guess), and he can probably hook you up with some photos that will completely destroy your attraction.

  38. John C. Randolph   9 years ago

    Never been a Rob Schneider fan, but I would praise him effusively if he publicly told Salon to go fuck themselves.

    -jcr

  39. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

    So no one is going to acknowledge the fact that Rob Schneider's mother is Filipina and he clearly made a Filipino-style paella?

    1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

      Also, I apologize for those sorely disappointed by the video.

      1. invisible furry hand   9 years ago

        Two consecutive SFW links? I haz disappointeds

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          Yet another in a very long list of disappointing Heroic Mulatto links.

      2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

        Forgiven:)

      3. Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker   9 years ago

        Hey that's not paella!

    2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      no

  40. Rich   9 years ago

    "When celebrities?and celeb chefs like Jamie Oliver?render Spain's beloved dish unrecognizable, our culture suffers."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

    1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      White chefs are number one threat to Spanish culture

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        The group tried "to force open some of the doors in the external fence, using iron bars, wire cutters and large stones

        "Large stones", indeed. Especially when facing automatic weapons.

      2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Fact: the last time I was in Morocco my lady friend was being chased by a killer, so I ran across rooftops while being chased by the police until I jumped off a roof and through a window in order to defeat the killer in a deathly bathtub match.

        1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

          I remember when that happened. The camera work was very confusing.

  41. Suthenboy   9 years ago

    Cultural appropriation: Why everything in America is better.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Well said. Happy New Year, Suthen! How's the vodka sitting?

      1. Suthenboy   9 years ago

        Happy new year to you as well Rich!

        I am about half pickled right now.

        1. Ted S.   9 years ago

          Only half? You need to work harder.

        2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          I am about half pickled right now.

          That's common at your age.

  42. Stormy Dragon   9 years ago

    Rob Schneider is half-Filipino. Is it still cultural appropriation when the Spaniards literally came and made his ancestors appropriate it at gun point?

  43. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    doesn't include massive raw lobster tails," and never has chorizo in it.

    Lobster tails and chorizo? They go together like lamb and tuna fish. Or, if you prefer, spaghetti and meatball.*

    In all seriousness, you can do it!

    *This clip sums up cultural appropriation.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      They go together like lamb and tuna fish.

      "It's not illegal *yet*."

  44. Rich   9 years ago

    Man urinates on trooper after Disney arrest, says 'F*** Trump'

    Hey! I thought Disney was a *family* place!

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      The link doesn't work, Rich.

      1. Ted S.   9 years ago

        Damn your nimble fingers!

    2. Ted S.   9 years ago

      Cool link, bro!

    3. Rich   9 years ago

      Sorry guys! I'm distracted by the Wisconsin-W.Mich game. On Wisconsin!

      Hier.

      1. Ted S.   9 years ago

        The man, who initially refused to give his name but was later identified as Joseph Murphy, was arrested Sunday near Disney Springs and faces charges of battery on an officer,

        Should just be battery; "battery on an officer" shouldn't be a separate crime.

        indecent exposure of sexual organs

        Not possible by definition.

        and resisting an officer without violence.

        Bullshit charge. If I ask, "Officer, am I being detained?", that's resisting an officer without violence.

        1. Lachowsky   9 years ago

          This man literally pissed on the authority of the state. He will be charged with anything and everthing the prosecutor can come up with.

          1. Ted S.   9 years ago

            This man literally pissed on the authority of the state.

            If you believe the affidavit.

      2. Ted S.   9 years ago

        Oh shit, I should have read on:

        Murphy was placed in the trooper's patrol cruiser, where he began banging his head against a partition and tried to choke himself, the report said. Murphy was yelling "police brutality" as he kept banging his head, the affidavit said.

        This I really doubt, too.

      3. Ted S.   9 years ago

        And of course, the few comments blindly believe the pigs and suck their dicks.

  45. I see wood chippers   9 years ago

    But seriously, are you fucking kidding me?

    Appropriation can be bad, like Nick copying millenial writing styles.

    1. Ted S.   9 years ago

      Appropriating Soave's writing style is bad; appropriating his hair is A-OK.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Don't be a primo square. Nick is a far out hep-cat, and he doesn't want you to forget it, daddy-o.

  46. Stormy Dragon   9 years ago

    Also,if we're going to complain about culturally appropriating race dishes, shouldn't Spain have to stop making paella altogether? Ain't much rice growing in Iberia...

    1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

      Ain't much rice growing in Iberia...

      That's not true.

      The Moors planted plenty of rice in Andalusia.

      Now paella cooked with non-halal ingredients, however...

      1. Ted S.   9 years ago

        I'm sorry, the card says "Moops".

        1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

          How did you know I was The Assman?

          1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            By your videos we shall know ye!

  47. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    To that, I would add that in a world where most people turn to the Internet to find recipes ? and English is the de facto lingua franca of the online world ? English-speaking chefs not only have more freedom to play around

    ...said no one ever who had to figure out how many grams of butter in a tablespoon.

    1. Homple   9 years ago

      1 tablespoon of butter is 0.00086565355 poods.

    2. CraigL   8 years ago

      "English is the de facto lingua franca" hilarious self-example of appropriation.
      "de facto" is Latin "in fact"
      "lingua franca" also Latin but means "French Language" because at one time French was the international language of culture (though not of science).

  48. Radioactive   9 years ago

    Mireia Triguero Roura...into the soup pot with her...with some fava beans and a nice chianti...

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      I'd jump into the pot and stir her paella, if you know what I mean. For seriously you guys, she is apparentl a Fullbright Scholar.

      1. Homple   9 years ago

        Halfbright Scholar, anyway.

        1. Radioactive   9 years ago

          who speaks with humans no less...obviously a goddess walks among us...

      2. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

        I can write, take pictures, film, and code.

        HTML, CSS, Javascript (jQuery) and ruby

        Oh boy..

      3. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

        Her instagram is full of appropriated food. How delightful.

  49. chemjeff   9 years ago

    *crosses "authetic paella" off bucket list*

  50. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    I want to know which of those outraged in the name of cultural justice plans to tell Masaharu Morimoto that he's an appropriating imperialist bastard.

    1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

      Kanagawa would disagree.

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        The Ohta faction's mission in life was to tell Morimoto to stop mixing centuries of perfectly normal proud culinary tradition with all that fiddly weirdo foreign muck like fermented mammalian excretion, random oddments stuffed in intestines and Coca-Cola.

        Bless them. I think they gave up.

        1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

          There are no borders to ingredients.

  51. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

    I've never tried paella. Need to find a place locally that's known for it. Seafood paella looks particularly good.

    1. Sevo   9 years ago

      Used to be a Portuguese place on Market and Larkin in SF. The Paella was a wonderful cold-day lunch, but what was in it changed often enough.
      I figured Paella was Portagee for "Mulligan Stew'.

      1. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

        It just occurred to me that I live a hop, skip, and a jump away from the oldest continually inhabited European settlement in the US, a city that was founded by the Spanish themselves in the 1500s. And one of my favorite restaurants there is a Spanish/Cuban place. And sure enough, that place has a full page in their menu devoted to paella.

        Problem solved, I guess!

        1. Charles Easterly   9 years ago

          It would seem that at minimum, Karl, you will have an opportunity to try something new.

          1. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

            Yep, I may actually make that happen this weekend.

            1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

              Please ask for extra chorizo in whatever paella you choose.

        2. Sevo   9 years ago

          Anybody living inland tosses various meats and veggies in the pot. Those along the coast toss in whatever got caught today.
          Everybody tosses in some spices, some more than others; Gumbo

      2. Christophe   9 years ago

        A lot of old world cooking classics were ways to use up leftovers.

        Pizza was what italian bakers did with leftover dough and oven heat. They eventually started putting leftover ingredients on top of it.

        1. Sevo   9 years ago

          "A lot of old world cooking classics were ways to use up leftovers."

          And what was seasonally available. Sour Kraut wasn't invented to avoid fresh lettuce. You can slop pigs over the winter; cows get slaughtered in the late summer.
          Root veggies? North Europe, north Asia if it's not summer.

    2. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      The best paella place around here is a secret. They're one of the original importers of Jamon Iberico de Bellota (first to get the US import license, iirc), but officially, they're just a meat store. They sell paella out the side door on the weekends, and it's so popular that you have to call a day prior to reserve a bowl.

      1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

        and it's so popular that you have to call a day prior to reserve a bowl.

        That's why nobody goes there anymore.

      2. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

        It's been my experience that places like that are worth the wait.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          Did I also mention that they're a meat store?

  52. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    First!

    Awwwwwwwww.

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      It is said that the last shall be first, so therefore...

      1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        If you're not first you're last.

    2. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

      Yes, after only one post for two days, with 1000+ comments, the Reason gang stuffed six new stories into the morning/early afternoon, and now they've likely gone silent until tomorrow again.

      Come on, how difficult could it be to space out these articles a bit? Don't you want each to get read and fully appreciated?

      And yet again, we're stuck with an article about food to post comments on for the foreseeable future.....

  53. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

    Wait, I left two hours ago... and Rob Schneider's Paella controversy is still the most recent post?

    1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

      Oh, never mind, Federal Holiday. The beltway is asleep. And the last thing I want to do is wake anyone up over there.

      1. DOOMco   9 years ago

        well, I'm at work!

        1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

          Well, so am I, but I'm roughing it in the private sector.

          1. DOOMco   9 years ago

            poor souls.

  54. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

    I did gnocchi alla romana topped with a porcini ragu for New Years. This has enraged the wops, who kindly reminded me that they're quite experienced with nailing Jews to crosses..

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Stick to latkes!

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        Something to that effect was said by a nice fellow named Rocco. Large guy, crooked nose. Apparently plays violin.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          I have a 90 something-year-old Italian aunt who would eat what you cooked in a heartbeat.

          1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

            I have a 53 year old Quaker wife who did eat what I cooked in a heartbeat.

            1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

              Pics? Thanks.

  55. DOOMco   9 years ago

    links?
    ok, fine.

    got nhl 17. pretty fun so far, its my first sportball game in maybe 10 years.
    i might just delete the Facebook. it might be killing me.

  56. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

    Ingredients of traditional Spanish paella a la marinera (the sort of paella that most Americans have in mind. There are in fact many varieties.)

    25 threads saffron, crushed (a heaping 1?4 tsp.) -- native to Southwest Asia
    1 lb. boneless monkfish filets, cut into 2" pieces -- local
    Salt - local
    Freshly ground black pepper, to taste -- native to south India
    1?2 cup extra-virgin olive oil - local
    8 langoustines or extra-large head-on shrimp in the shell - local
    10 oz. cuttlefish or small squid, cleaned and cut into 1" pieces - local
    1 tbsp. smoked paprika - native to the Americas
    4 medium tomatoes, minced - native to the Americas
    3 cloves garlic, minced - native to central Asia
    1 green bell pepper, cored and chopped - native to the Americas
    1 small onion, minced - local
    7 cups fish broth - local
    2 1?2 cups short-grain rice, preferably Valencia or bomba - introduced to Europe through Western Asia
    1?2 lb. small clams, cleaned - local

    1. DOOMco   9 years ago

      it was fine until [some exact moment in time]!

      it's like reparations. we owe the natives something, but when one tribe killed off another for land before we got there, that didnt count. its a very specific cut off.

  57. Sevo   9 years ago

    "Op-Ed: Yes, Donald Trump 'lies.' And news organizations should say so."
    [...]
    "...The early returns in this debate are not encouraging. In fact, they suggest that we in the news media are simply unprepared for the challenges the Trump presidency will pose to us. I've already tried to argue that news orgs are needlessly helping Trump's use of unverified claims result in precisely the headlines he wants."
    http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/.....830925.php

    Hell, they spent eight years learning to be lap-dogs and now they gripe they've learned well?
    "You can keep your doctor..." needs to be rammed up their butts, intent included.

  58. DEG   9 years ago

    No PM links. So I'll put this here.

    Blackberries, beavers, and plastic bags: proposed bills before the NH state house

    Blackberries, beavers and plastic bags are all on the agenda for lawmakers this year.

    Nearly 1,000 Legislative Service Requests (LSRs) - requests to have bills drafted - have been filed by New Hampshire's citizen legislators for the upcoming session. Many of them come from constituent requests.

    On this New Year's Day, we take a look at some of the more unusual bills that will come before lawmakers this year.

    1. Wasteland Wanderer   9 years ago

      Blackberries...

      To be fair, blackberries are a massive pain in the ass when they go wild and become invasive, so I can see why they'd want to ba.....wait, they want to make them the state berry? Are they fucking retarded?!

      A group of fourth-graders...

      Oh...

  59. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

    At least lawmakers aren't sleeping.

    Distracted driving caused 3,477 traffic deaths in the U.S. in 2015, a 9 percent increase from the year before, and "a deadly epidemic," according to the National Safety Council (NSC). In the state distracted-driving deaths jumped from 130 in 2014 to 171 in 2015, nearly a third of the overall 556 traffic fatalities in 2016.

    Victims' families, state troopers, prosecutors and high-school DECA chapters are working on the safety commission's task force.

    Nothing like passing legislation on the hard-won wisdom of high school kids.

    1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

      http://www.seattletimes.com/se.....hone-laws/

    2. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

      Gina Bagnariol-Benavides, left, and Theresa Fawcett lost their sister, Jody Bagnariol, and friend Elisabeth Rudolph in a crash on I-5 at Napavine, Lewis County, in July. Just before impact, the driver's husband, sitting in the front passenger seat, took a selfie. (Steve Ringman/The Seattle Times)

      Wait... a passenger took a selfie so the crash was caused by 'distracted driving'?

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        Yeah, driver was compelled to head tilt and duck face.

        1. DOOMco   9 years ago

          forced, really. no other option

          1. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

            According to the article, the driver was hands at 10 & 2, looking through the windshield during the crash. But the family isn't satisfied.

            but Lewis County prosecutors concluded from the photo that the driver was still facing forward.

            1. DOOMco   9 years ago

              that just sucks

            2. OneOut   9 years ago

              Must have used a flash.

              He was blinded by the light !

              Revved up like a duce.

              Another teen driver in the night.

    3. Ted S.   9 years ago

      It's not an epidemic if it's not contagious!

  60. Electric Funeral   9 years ago

    So absurd. However there are much better reasons to assert that Rob Schneider is an ass-hat. Just google "Rob Schneider vaccines autism", for example.

    1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      His paella definitely causes autism. 1:1.

  61. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

    "When celebrities?and celeb chefs like Jamie Oliver?render Spain's beloved dish unrecognizable, our culture suffers."

    The same brand of logic employed by those who tried to use government violence to prevent same-sex marriage.

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Examples of government violence against same-sex-marrying people or their supporters?

      1. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

        Any law that prohibits same-sex marriage is, by definition, government violence.

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          "Look, we're married, recognize us and fine anyone who won't recognize the papers you give us!"

          "No."

          "Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

          "There's violence inherent in the system, all right..."

        2. Marshall Gill   9 years ago

          Nothing says "violence" like a denial of government benefits! Still wasted from New Years?

          1. Karl Hungus   9 years ago

            Maybe you misunderstood me. I'm talking about any law that actively prohibits consenting adults from forming whatever union they like, not about a denial of "benefits" or sanctions against people who choose not to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex.

            1. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

              I don't think he misunderstood. Nobody was forcibly prevented from forming a gay/lesbian union before Obergfell. They were just not given a piece of paper and a pat on the head from the government.

              The ONLY government coercion involved in the gay marriage issue has been forcing wedding cake makers and photographers who did not want to associate with said marriages to do so. That is the only libertarian nexus to the issue, and of course it's the part that Reason and their cosmo pals ignore.

              1. Rational Exuberance   9 years ago

                No. People were simply deprived of their private property to support the institutions that a religious group favored. And to add insult to injury, people are forced by law to do business with those religious groups.

  62. Raven Nation   9 years ago

    Psst, new post at 5:39pm.

  63. PlaystoomuchHALO   9 years ago

    Note sure how a glass cake pan filled with corn and seafood is paella... Looks more like some sort of abomination of a clam bake from Boston...

  64. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

    Rob Schneider is an equal opportunity cultural appropriator. It's an office tool, not a costume!

  65. Nunya   9 years ago

    So, if cultural appropriation is evil, shouldn't we enforce a pairing of individuals be strictly between two, or more if you're one of those polyamorous people, individuals that share the exact same religion, creed, color, education, principles. Etc? If we don't outlaw marrying or dating outside your currently defined lines are we not guaranteeing that appropriation will take place? A mix of two people, even if children are raised after adoption, ensures that cultures would become mixed and appropriated.

    So it is obviously silly to even try and figure out where cultures came from as they have been mixing over millennia. Also, you obviously should not try to control whom someone will choose as a partner. However, this all starts to sound like the real ploy will be as ridiculous as I suggest above. Top Men will decide who you can and cannot have a relationship with.

  66. mtrueman   9 years ago

    The desire for cultural purity is usually associated with conservatives. The Brexit vote for example.

  67. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    "What am I supposed to do with all this Paella?"

  68. mtrueman   9 years ago

    If it weren't for cultural appropriation I would never have learned that Black people were shiftless, ate watermelon and chicken, played dice incessantly, or could pop their eyes from their heads when surprised or frightened.

    1. Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker   9 years ago

      Please die in a fire.

  69. buybuydandavis   9 years ago

    But we need to reframe this discussion unless we want to waste our entire lives endlessly scolding one another for this or that thought/hate crime.

    Some people want to do that.

  70. Chip Your Pets   9 years ago

    Most people could have gotten away with it, but Schneider is a repeat offender for cultural appropriation. Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo anyone? Not to mention appending "meister" to everybody's name despite not having a drop of German blood in him.

  71. Bill Dalasio   9 years ago

    "Cultural appropriation" is a non-thing. Not only does it not exist. It isn't a concept that has a legitimate meaning. No one "owns" a culture. Even a culture in and of itself is not really a thing in any way but as a convenient reference to the common habits and traditions of people in a given area. But, each of those habits and traditions can only be considered to be "owned" by the individuals who created the habit or tradition. Anyone who tries to claim a unique right to the habit or tradition because their ancestors were neighbors of whoever the original innovator was is simply a leech trying to use others' achievements to browbeat others. If I adopt a habit you practice, I haven't taken your practice from you. And you have no right to tell me what habits or practices I'm allowed to practice.

  72. Rational Exuberance   9 years ago

    I suppose it is a good sign that SJWs now get upset about cultural appropriation from white Europeans, even if they are former imperialists, colonialists, destroyers of cultures, and slave traders.

  73. Rational Exuberance   9 years ago

    I suppose it is a good sign that SJWs now get upset about cultural appropriation from white Europeans, even if they are former imperialists, colonialists, destroyers of cultures, and slave traders.

  74. Bra Ket   8 years ago

    No idea what the fuck chorizo is.

  75. J Mann   8 years ago

    Schneider forgot the second rule of Top Chef. If you call your food something, particularly a panna cotta, but also a gumbo, risotto, or anything else finicky, you have to meet other people's expectations or hear some sneering restaurateur/guest judge tell you "that's not panna cotta" while Padma sneers and agrees in the background. If you say "I made a play on a panna cotta," you can serve them a giant smoked turkey leg and they won't complain as long as it tastes good. If Schneider had said "my original dish playfully and loosely inspired by paella," he would have been fine.

    (The first rule of Top Chef is for the love of Heaven, don't put inedible garnishes on the plate. Apparently Padma and the assorted guest judges cannot be trusted to determine whether they should eat that whole ghost pepper, thorned rose, lit candle, or whatever it was that you thought would look good on the plate.)

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