Lena Dunham Says Abortion Comment Was a Joke, Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee Unite, College 'Oppression Olympics': A.M. Links

|

  • Lena
    AB1/Adriana M. Barraza/WENN/Newscom

    Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.

  • The University of California's Students of Color Conferences turned into "oppression Olympics" after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.
  • A Republican lawmaker wants a professor fired over his tweets about police officers, and threatened to pull funding to the University of Wisconsin if it did not get rid of the leftist academic's class on "The Problem of Whiteness."
  • An Iowa State University professor who claimed he had conducted focus groups was exaggerating: by "focus group," he meant any random person he talked to.
  • Clinton campaign operative: Donald Trump has no mandate.
  • Here's a profile of Ed Schutlz, the former MSNBC host and Putin critic who is now one of Russia Today's most important anchors.
  • Bill O'Reilly: "The left wants power taken away from the white establishment."
  • Jeet Heer's Twitter useage is very problematic.
  • Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee did a video together that's pretty entertaining.

NEXT: University Students Get Café Manager Fired for Stupid Little Joke About Slavery

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Lena Dunham apologized-

    Stop right there.

    1. The remark was a joke, she claims.

      Jokes are supposed to be funny, you disgusting cow.

      1. The joke is that anyone pays attention to this attention whore.

        1. She is proof that if you have the right parents and know the right people, it doesn’t matter how talentless you are.

          1. Wait, are we talking about Chelsea, now?

          2. I saw a short video once on the old Craig Ferguson show about all the Hollywood celebs who are the children of someone in the business, behind the scenes or otherwise. It’s most of them.

        2. And Robby obliges.

          1. I’ll leave this here:

            http://giphy.com/gifs/girlshbo…..WNf52gcWoE

            1. What the fuck, dude? What the fucking fuck?

            2. OMG, opening that was a very bad decision.

              1. That would be a good image to use for the Masturbation Challenge.

                1. That would be a good image to use for the Masturbation Challenge.

                  Here you go.

                  1. My contributions to your silly masturbation challenge.

                    1. One more.

                      85% of you will be able to win this challenge. You creeps…

                    2. From the video caption:

                      I can’t believe this was allowed

                      Yeah, because when they see you doing it they let you finish and you keep your job.

                      Maybe what happened was, no one caught on except for the guy filming, and he wasn’t in a position to stop it right then and there?

                    3. Allowed by GOD. By GOD. He should’ve smote him right there.

                    4. “hawt” is in reply to CJ’s Ivanka w/daddy issues pic, not Lega DunHam

            3. Thankfully, my Company’s firewall prevent this gif from loading.

            4. You owe me a new pair of eyes.

            5. I shan’t open.

              No.

      2. Cows serve a useful purpose–they fertilize the fields with Lena Dunhams.

        1. It really is inappropriate to compare Lena Dunham to a sentient animal.

          Only an unthinking lifeform could think that making a joke about what Hillary Clinton herself calls
          “the most intimate, most difficult” decision that a woman makes is funny.

          1. A cow turd is a sentient animal?

            You can definitely make funny jokes about abortion. She just failed do that.

    2. Hello.

      It’s always ‘just a joke’ with these idiots. Always ‘out of context’. Always an excuse.

      Of all people no less. She seems to carefully craft and plan out her stupid ‘social justice moralism’ and rage. I’m betting she knew what she was doing.

      As mentioned yesterday, not funny, gross and no class.

      1. Taking a page out of Trump’s book in a desperate plot to get attention.

      2. Kurt Eichenwald’s bizarre allegations re: Trump’s mental health history? Just a joke. And signaling a source (???). But also just a joke.

      3. I think she said the same thing after she got called out for whining that Odell Beckham didn’t recognize her potato-sack ass at a dinner. I mean, I realize she’d rather get dicked by a star athlete than the closet-case she’s actually dating, but the least she could do is try not to couch it in passive-aggressive language

    3. Maybe you’ve seen what her idea of comedy is? From what I have read about it “funny” seems to be running along a line 180 degrees out and in a different dimension from her idea of comedy. In that light her comment could have been a joke.

    4. My words were spoken from a sort of ‘delusional girl’ persona I often inhabit…

      That’s a lot of words to express being a total fucking idiot.

      1. if only her mother had listened to the little voice in her head saying “abort this thing before it grows and pos out”

    5. GOD DAMNIT REASON I specifically asked when I made my donation this year that you stop reporting about LENA FUCKING DUNHAM. I don’t care what she says, who she is, what dumbass thing she regrets saying. >:|

      1. You should have gotten the agreement in writing. Caveat Emptor.

      2. She leads and maybe writes a show popular among New York sophisticates, Girls. I haven’t seen it, being a flyover bumpkin. If it’s anything like Broad City, hard pass. I don’t know how a pair or a gaggle of women is always less than the sum of its parts, and I’m sure in isolation these women are funny creatures, but put them on screen together and it’s just eye-rolling mush. Elaine is funny. Mel from FotC is funny. Kimmy Schmidt, terrific. Liz Lemon. Dee Reynolds. Fran Katzenjammer from Black Books, Jen from IT Crowd. Loads of genuinely funny character actresses surrounded by or supporting funny men. Broad City, though… yeesh. Dreck. Trying too hard.

        1. Flyover Bumpkin. My take home for the day. Any objection to my changing my blog name to that?

      3. Hell, they even plastered her photo in the article. And right when I had run out of eye bleach.

        1. Gotta love how right behind her is the “GLAMOUR”.

          1. You can’t spell GLAMOUR without UG.

      4. No refunds, credit notes only.
        It’s the Libertarian creed.

      5. Well, you must have been out-voted by all the people clamoring for more Lena Dunham. Or it’s just Robby’s revenge on the commentariat.

    6. I figured right away that it had to be a joke. After all…wouldn’t! And who would? The only way an abortion is gonna happen for her is if somebody would.

      Unless she’s nutty enough to get artificially inseminated just so she can abort it. I’d say that would never happen but a lot of things happen nowadays that I thought would never happen.

    7. She perceives women who have had abortions as “wild” and “cool” and desperately wanted to be like them, so she said that ridiculous thing. Trying to fit in to whatever group you perceive as “cool” is pathetic and miserable, and lying about something as profound and heart-wrenching as abortion to fit in is fucking disgusting.

    8. Fun fact — Helena Bonham Carter in bed with Brad Pitt had a line cut in Fight Club: “I wanna have your abortion.” The studio wouldn’t have it. So it was replaced with “I haven’t been f—-d like that since grade school.”

      I thought it was obvious Dunham was joking. I don’t know anything about her but in the right time and place it can be a certain kind of funny. But noooooo everybody has to take everything so seriously nowadays.

      1. Carter apparently thought that grade school in America included high school, and was a little bit startled to find out after the movie was done that it’s synonymous with elementary.

        1. Yeah, she was a bit confused, thinking it was like the public/private school difference. She didn’t realize she was joking about getting banged like a 12 year old.

        2. Hahaha I didn’t know that part.

  2. Bill O’Reilly: “The left wants power taken away from the white establishment.”

    They weren’t even trying to trick him into saying there’s a white establishment but he fell for it anyway.

    1. Yea what the fuck is bill taking about. Way ro come off white supremacist.

    2. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

    3. “Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee did a video together that’s pretty entertaining.”

      From The Atlantic:

      “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee doesn’t come near the kind of divisiveness that Beck promoted every day on The Glenn Beck Program. For one, her show is satirical, and even her nastiest insults are presented with a comic edge. There’s a distinct and important difference between a political comedian training her fire on a target and a news anchor calling the nation’s first black president a racist. A hint of false equivalence filters through the entire segment, but what’s interesting about that is that Bee was the one inviting the comparison?it’s her show, and she’s obviously intrigued by the notion that Beck sees his “catastrophist” personality in her hosting style.”:

      Translation: When Samantha Bee or Trevor Noah say some bullshit, it’s a joke, but when Glenn Beck says bullshit it’s a damning indictment of the Right.

      1. I don’t like Glenn Beck, but his business sense and complete lack of shame are genius. He is in on all the stupid “leftie” jokes. He is almost my hero.

        1. Beck was a morning zoo guy for years and his methodology hasn’t changed much.

        2. Does this mark the beginning of a David Brock conversion or an Ariana Huffington conversion from conservative to progressive?

          That’s what you get when put confidence in a rodeo clown shock jock who feigns to be a conservative/libertarian. (Apologies to any rodeo clowns for besmirching their dignity.)

      2. “…even her nastiest insults are presented with a comic edge.”

        Huh? Sorry, I must have missed the comedy — I was too distracted by The Jacket’s retarded cousin screaming “Vagina” in place of actual jokes.

        1. In all seriousness, I normally can’t stand he, but when she was on Beck’s morning show a week or so ago she seemed pleasant enough

          1. for a flaming douche bag…

            1. Eeew. *Tries to stomp out the fire* Eeeew.

      3. TL;DR: It’s still different when we do it because reasons.

      4. …and a news anchor calling the nation’s first black president a racist.

        So much assumed in that statement, most notable being that if you’re black you can’t be a racist. Or at least the first black.

      5. The Atlantic article is stunning in its hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness. After spending the bulk of the article condemning Beck for being the source of all of the divisiveness in the nation, it wraps up by extolling the wonder of Samantha Bee taking the fight to the republicans and being extra-super divisive.

        On top of that stunning lack of internal consistency within an article that only encompasses a few paragraphs, the author doesn’t seem to know anything about his subject.

        Beck has not had a “public change of heart [that] might have made him 2016’s Scrooge, suddenly recanting his past cruelty”… He’s been on the road to Damascus for about 7 years. And he keeps calling Beck a “news anchor”, while insisting that Samantha Bee is a comedian.

        The first is just factually wrong. Beck is not a news anchor, he’s a political commentator / entertainer who headlines his own show. Which is pretty much exactly what Samantha Bee and Trevor Noah are. Just because he’s on his own network and they are on something labeled “the comedy channel” doesn’t make them different. They are all in the “political commentary entertainment industry”. So labeling her a comedian is no more informative in this situation than labeling Jimmy Fallon a comedian is informative when talking about his career as a late night talk show host. Sure, humor is part of the job, but it is hardly descriptive.

      6. How deep in a cave do you have to live to think that BO is not a racist?

        1. He has melanin. It makes him immune.

          Even if he says overtly racist things, he cannot possibly be racist.

          Because…. and this is the important point…. racism has to do with power. And as a Black Man, he has no power. Therefore President Obama cannot possibly be racist.

          **THIS IS WHAT THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE***

          1. If Lightworker is genuinely racist he has some deep, deep mommy and self-loathing issues.

            1. He said his grandmother was a racist.

        2. I don’t know about cave dwellers, but that are lots of people in ivory towers that genuinely believe that it is apodictically impossible for a person of color to be racist.

      7. Jon Stewart tried that dodge years ago and nobody bought it then either.

        1. I thought it was a legitimate defense during the Bush years, when he was genuinely doing satire of government in general.

          But the second Obama got nominated, Stewart decided to go straight Riefenstahl, and you can’t credibly claim to be just for laughs when you’re holding political rallies and giving impassioned nightly monologues in defense of the state.

  3. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    The biggest victim wins the gold?

    1. How dare you support the Metallic Aristocracy!

      1. If I recall correctly gold only lets you see the past, not even one of the good metals.

        1. Gold is the noblest of medals. Argue are all you want, but unless you carry around Aqua Regia in your pocket, gold is always going to win.

          1. +1 Philosophick Mercury

        2. I’ll take yours if you don’t want it.

          1. I’ll trade you for some Atium.

            1. You mean you don’t have a collection of orphans to dig it out of the Pits for you?

    2. And they will fight to the death to prove they are the biggest victim.

    3. Gives new meaning to the term “slow race”, where the slowest person wins. I suspect these people are slow enough to make Forrest Gump look like Albert Einstein.

      1. Run, Forrest, run!

      2. can we get Lena to convince all the slow learners at UC to abort themselves in the name of humor?

    4. “So the organizers were in the minority and did not represent the views of most of us”

      Contender for the least self-aware statement ever.

      1. Seriously. Look im a millenial, so i know that the concept of majority ryle was pounded into our heads as kids, but i didn’t realize till now that they serously wont be happy till they are in a “majority”. In their mind voting minorities shouldn’t have any voice or power, so it makes sense why they say they are oppressed. When that is your worldview and you are a minority you might think that way.

    5. Another example of why “The Onion” is no longer needed.

    6. Are scores given in negatives or fractions?

  4. Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.

    But has she apologized for sexually molesting her younger sister?

    1. That was a joke, too.

      1. It’s jokes all the way down!

    2. If she would have said she wished that ‘she’ was aborted, I think we could all just agree on that.

      1. never too late?

        1. Abortions are legal all the way through the 128th trimester according to Planned Parenthood.

          DRILL BABY DRILL!

    3. Or apologize for slandering another Oberlin alumni?

      1. I don’t think you can slander someone you made up. I think, given her age, other Oberlin classmates would remember a campus Republican who went around wearing purple boots. Hell, the former is nothing less than a damn unicorn at that school.

        1. She based her “assailant” on an actual person, a Republican student named Barry who matched the description she gives in the book. She let him hang for a few days without comment while he was getting his reputation dragged through the mud, then finally claimed that “Barry” is a pseudonym (something she doesn’t specify in the book).

      2. Is it one or many alumni? Make up your mind.

  5. Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee did a video together that’s pretty entertaining.

    Three negatives make a positive?

    Just kidding, guys, you’re all aces.

  6. Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.

    I thought the whole point of jokes was to be, at least, mildly amusing, not to make everybody feel like the world just got a little worse.

    1. You just don’t understand he transgressive art, you philistine!

    2. Have you seen some of the jokes people make on here?

      1. Funnier than anything by whatshername

        1. Yeah. And UCS doesn’t even LIKE amusement.

      2. Have you seen some of the jokes people make on here?

        That’s triggering for those of us whose internet is down right now and we can’t even get the score on the Cal game. Thanks, you insensitive jerk!

      3. Yes, but we make the world worse in a good way.

      4. Get off my lawn!

    3. It’s called being edgy, white Grandpa!

    4. You know what a feminist says when a man tells a joke?
      “That’s not funny!”

      You know what a man says when a feminist tells a joke?
      “That’s not funny.”

      1. And then there was the guy who worked the Rhinitis convention:
        “That snot, funny.”

          1. Squirrels never have a sense of humor

            1. Oh, i think they do.

            2. This is not original but it cracked me up. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

        1. Paging Swiss. Paging Swiss.

          Narrowed gaze needed on aisle 2.

  7. A Republican lawmaker wants a professor fired over his tweets about police officers, and threatened to pull funding to the University of Wisconsin if it did not get rid of the leftist academic’s class on “The Problem of Whiteness.”

    The lesson? Stop relying on public moneys.

    1. Nobody ever seems to learn that lesson.

      1. And “who pays the piper calls the tune” is a very old lesson.

        1. I fucking hate pipe music…

          1. It’s the only thing standing between us and the guinea pigs.

            1. Ahem, that’s Italian-American pig, you insensitive clod.

      2. Because it’s extremely lucrative not to.

    2. Yeah, but just because the state *can* pull their funding over what they teach doesn’t mean they *should*.

      1. When the lesson is the “problem of whiteness”, I’d say yes, they should pull the funding, then chuck the lesson plan into a volcano along with it’s author and the administrators that allowed it. No one would tolerate for one second “the problem of blackness” or any other group other than whites. It turns out that some people are downright sick of the double standards regarding racism.

  8. She described the conference not only as an “oppression Olympics” but also “a safe space gone wrong” in her opinion article.

    “Safe space gone wrong” is a nice band name.

    1. I don’t think any one outside of all this saw this going any other way.

    2. You, of all people. That is an ALBUM name if ever there was one.

      1. *** coffee kicks in ***

        I agree.

      2. Oppression Olympics is the band name.

      3. You, of all people.

        Nice band name …

  9. Clinton campaign operative: Donald Trump has no mandate.

    Sure he does. It’s gold plated, like you wouldn’t believe. A very classy mandate. Big league.

    1. I love how is all about the “mandate” with these people. It’s stupid; they truly only care about that shit when they lose. If clinton had beaten trump by the same amount of EC votes they would call it a landslide, and a mandate to do everything they wanted with ?mor without congress

    2. Just wait until he paints the White House Gold and puts a big neon Trump sign on the roof. It will be Yuuuuuuge

    3. Don’t pay attention. This is the standard Democrat playbook. The New York Times claimed in 1980 that Ronald Reagan had “no mandate” despite a 489-49 electoral landslide and a 9.7% margin of victory over Carter in the popular vote.

      Meanwhile, Obama’s 3.8% margin of victory over Romney in 2012 (332-306 in electoral college) was labeled a “devastating defeat” for the GOP.

      1. (332-306 in electoral college)

        I don’t think that’s possible, since there are only 500-some-odd electors.

        1. It was 332-206? Number 2 missed the? number 2 key.

          1. The key is probably broken due to overuse.

      2. When Democrats win, they have a mandate. When Republicans win, they need to act as if the Democrats have a mandate.

        1. You jest, but if you read the article, that is essentially exactly what he says.

          Sometimes reality defies parody.

    4. — Sure he does. It’s gold plated, like you wouldn’t believe. A very classy mandate. Big league.

      Luxurious, even. Perhaps more so than any mandate that’s ever existed.

  10. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    PCU seemed like such great satire when it came out.

    1. Hollywood can’t resist a remake.

      1. And DC is Hollywood for ugly people, so…

  11. Schultz is on RT? Now I know Putin is trying to bring back communism.

    1. It said he was an “important anchor” which I assumed to mean that he keeps their boats from floating away.

      1. he did apply for the door stop position, but it had been filled so they gave him the anchor position. personally I would have had him as acting dumpster…

    2. No,no! Its some dude named Ed Schutlz.

        1. ^^^
          Translation of Schultz broadcast on RT.

          Damn squirrelz.

  12. Government knows best, especially in sophisticated Europe.

    Here [in London] and in cities across environmentally minded Europe, NO2 levels are substantially higher than in North America, or even in Asian and African megacities whose names have become bywords for dirty air. And that is all because of decades of government incentives designed to spur the purchase of supposedly cleaner diesel cars and trucks.

    “It’s a complete policy failure,” said Gary Fuller, who directs an air-quality-study center at King’s College London. “No one could defend this.”

    1. So THIS is what it’s like to drive in London?

    2. When all you are thinking about is CO2, diesel does look a lot cleaner.

      That’s a problem with having so much focus on climate change. Actual, directly harmful pollution gets largely ignored.

      1. Yeah, but at least we would save the planet!

        We just couldn’t live there anymore.

      2. THIS!!

        The religion of AGW has hijacked the legitimate concerns of environmental movement. It does far more harm than good.

        1. The Jacobins have taken over.

          1. Wake me up when they’re decapitating one another for a change.

    3. Let a thousand cities with unsafe drinking waters bloom.

    4. You cannot maximize fuel efficiency without creating NOx. You cannot reduce NOx without giving up some fuel efficiency. It is defensible if you understand what your priority is.

      1. The enviro mental-cases want to stop emissions of CO2 and NOx.

        They are the first people since Prometheus to argue that humanity should ban fire to appease their gods.

        No trade-offs are necessary if we will just do Gaia’s will.

  13. ..by “focus group,” he meant any random person he talked to.

    Coming up: Luntz’s Law: Requiring the official certification and a national registry of all focus groups.

    1. This happens more than people think in the research industry.

  14. Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.

    Of course, the apology is also a joke.

    1. Know who else is a jerk and his act is wearing thing – aside from Lebron?

      Richard Sherman.

      They only apologize when caught. And if I hear one more person say one more time how intelligent he is, I’m gonna wring their neck. All I see with that guy is him causing controversy and then putting together a coherent apology who people then say, ‘wow, he’s smart!’

        1. Staring down coaches on the sidelines, cheap dirty hits, threatening to take a journalist’s credentials away etc., but….STANFORD! He just does and says dumb things imho.

          1. Uncle Joe thinks he is a clean articulate colored fella.

      1. “LeBron’s foundation to spend $41M to send kids to college”

        http://www.foxsports.com/nba/s…..ise-081315

        LeBron actually married his baby Momma as well.

        He really has become a standup guy.

        1. I watched Lebron’s interesting story on ESPN and does come across as a stand up guy. He also seems to be really smart.

          I was talking about sitting out games, politics etc. Just play brah.

          1. I have no problem with the resting players bit. The season is a marathon, not a sprint, and you want your guys fresh as can be when the playoffs come around.

            1. Except he decided it; not the coach.

              And that’s a huge problem for the league.

              1. Whatever.

                You don’t see crap like that in hockey or soccer. I’ve never heard a single hockey player or coach ever say ‘we need to rest guys’. Ever. And that’s HOCKEY.

                If a soccer player did that in any of the major European teams, he’d be strung up.

                Go out and PLAY.

                1. That used to be the mentality in hoops, too. It was Popovich who started this whole thing, and it has caught on because it works.

                  Though I have come to loathe Gregg Popovich, I think it’s a good idea.

                  1. It is. I get that. And you’re right it was Popovich who got this going but in Cleveland, it’s Lebron who runs the show.

                    1. Observers said that Lebron basically coached himself in Miami, too – and the Cavs bent over backwards for him in his first go-round in Cleveland. It’s safe to say that Lebron doesn’t take kindly to the kind of coach that holds your feet to the fire.

                2. Hockey mostly does it for goalies. The backup will often get the start against a weaker or out of conference opponent.

        2. Totally agree. He is a kick-ass businessman and role model.

          1. Meh. He seems pretty immature and don’t consider him a role model.

            Definitely a respectable individual though and does seem to have his head screwed on right. I got nothing bad to say there.

            1. I know this is a bit sensitive but in Akron or Cleveland or lots of rust belt areas, the African American youth community needs positive role models. While it shouldn’t be just athletes and entertainers, they do have the pulpit and he does a good job with all his outside of basketball business interests. He gives back (contrary to MJ at his heights) and he is willing to take stands ( clearly don’t agree with a lot them but that is ok).
              Not a role model for my kids ( children of a cisgender male european shitlord) cause they don’t need it. But for his community I think he is a positive influence.
              He has beaten my preferred t-shirts in many crucial games but I admire him nonetheless.

            2. There were mutters about the immaturity of him and his posse sorry, business associates earlier on, but I think he has grown up quite a bit.

              I would actually rather like him except for his shilling for Hillary.

          2. It’s actually mind-boggling what he’s done for education around here. I mean, Akron Public Schools are still a dumpster fire academically, but he’s trying his damnedest to change that. I don’t know how much of the recent rash of completely demolishing/rebuilding schools is due to his foundation (probably not a lot, actually), but his efforts to actually get city kids to be enthusiastic about learning and to hold THEMSELVES accountable (even if the teachers don’t) has been pretty spectacular.

            The sheer number of scholarships he’s funded and will continue to fund reserved for Akron kids to go to UA (which is turning into a pretty decent school) is outstanding.

            He’s got plenty of personality flaws, but he’s absolutely dedicated to his hometown in a way I have rarely seen among global superstars. Off the court, he’s effectively a saint.

  15. Clinton campaign operative: Donald Trump has no mandate.

    Beyond the mandate to rid us of the Clintons.

    1. No President should ever have a “mandate”. Separation of powers and all.

      1. Plus, it’s SEXIST!

      2. Thank you. No POTUS has a mandate, you bootlicking fucks. This is not the UK.

    2. Donald Trump has no mandate.

      Does he need one?

    3. Let’s see…what is a mandate?

      1. an official order or commission to do something.
      2. the authority to carry out a policy or course of action, regarded as given by the electorate to a candidate or party that is victorious in an election.

      I don’t see how any President doesn’t have one. The problem is, Democrats equate mandate with Divine Right, which all progressives have.

      1. I’d think that in the American political system it would make sense to consider a president having a mandate if the people send him a compliant congress, as he can’t do much except apply the handbrake without legislative permission. Thus, presidents usually get elected with mandates, but occasionally not (Clinton ’96, Obama ’12).

  16. Let’s talk about how fat I am

    When I came into fat activism, I did it operating under the (false) assumption that my experience of fatness was the same (or at least similar, or perhaps comparable) as other fat people’s.

    The more my community and conversations expanded ? particularly around experiences related to fatness and its intersections with and complications by race, gender, ability, and especially size and shape ? the clearer this became.

    1. Fatness intersects with “size and shape”? You don’t say!

      It also intersects with heart disease, diabeetus, running over innocent bystanders with a Rascal in the Wal-Mart, getting accidentally harpooned by Norwegians, and the Jeopardy! category “Problems You Could Probably Avoid If You Weren’t A Lazy Fuck.”

      1. I saw an approximately 30 year old lard ass on a hoveround at Busch Gardens this week. She apparently had the energy to put on super tight jeans but not enough to actually use her legs.

        1. Are you certain she didn’t just expand to fill the jeans?

        2. Pics?

          /Crusty

          1. See the Lena Dunham gif above

        3. Busch Gardens is a great place to see some of the weirdest people humanity has to offer. It’s like Wal-Mart but with roller coasters and attractive Polish employees.

          1. I worked there as a teenager. Learned a lot about humanity in the process.

            1. My cousin did that for a while in college. He met his eventual wife there, although she was a native Williamsburgian, not a Pole.

      2. It also intersects with heart disease, diabeetus

        No, it doesn’t, at least if you belong to one of the correct identity categories. I’ve actually been told this repeatedly.

        1. Biology is science and science can’t be bigoted. Only you anti-science neanderthals are bigoted.

          1. Stereotyping Neanderthals as anti-science is hella problematic, bro.

            1. I agree that this Neanderthal shaming needs to stop. Some of us are related to them.

              1. And by “some of us,” you mean “every human being who’s not a pure-blooded sub-Saharan African.”

                1. I can’t help that all of you aren’t of the pure race, you will just have to cope with it like the rest of us.

      3. getting accidentally harpooned by Norwegians

        That was no accident…. Besides, another intersection is being Donal’d Troomp’s fetching boy, picking up double cheeseburgers for the now POTUS (And looking like a hostage right after he endorsed our now President Elect).

        1. Christie’s not just a fat guy, though. I’m pretty sure he’s a badly-disguised shoggoth.

          1. “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

            “Sir, I don’t see Tekeli-li on the menu. Please restate your order and drive up to the window”

            1. -1 giant penguin

        2. Chris Christie was hoping for a man-date with President Trump.

    2. Put the pork chop down, dumbass.

      1. You want the belt to buckle, not your chair.

        1. Dinner’s ready. We’re having “Lindsey-chops.”

          1. +1 water with a smack of ham

        2. +1 word: sleeves

      2. Pick up the pork, put down the bread/rice.

        1. ^What Mike said, or any pork product…
          On topic, ever since I got the sugar? I’ve been losing weight due to the pills and eating fewer carbs. Protein in my experience is a fat bastard’s friend.

    3. Let’s talk about how fat I am

      Why not everybody else is.

      1. Except for all those people who are not paying attention to this person.

    4. How about identifying as a human being? What the fuck is wrong with people?

      Some people are just going to be fat, and it’s a fine thing if they are comfortable with themselves. But being fat should be the least interesting thing about you, not the center of your identity. If it’s not, you’ve got some serious personality problems.

      1. And being fat is, for most people, the result of choices they make. It’s not something innate, like skin color or gender or having a peener that’s shaped like a skinny dog’s leg(, ladies).

      2. not the center of your identity

        I misread the key part of that as “your center of gravity”. I think I’m a horrible person.

        1. Nah, that is kind of funny, actually.

        2. But then I read your comment as ‘center of gravy.’

          1. Mmmm… gravy.

      3. On GMA this morning they had an Ashley Graham puff piece about she is breaking down barriers and how cruel her classmates were to her in high school. Graham was talking about how people should not be judged by their body when she, in fact, is a very attractive woman and making gobs of money from that.

        My only thought was “I’ll believe your bullshit when you go show Stephen Hawking a good time.”

        1. That would be awesome, if only to hear his reactions: “OH. YEAH. BABY. THAT’S. WHAT. DADDY. LIKES. YOU’RE. SUCH. A. DIRTY. GIRL.”

        2. “I’ll believe your bullshit when you go show Stephen Hawking a good time.”

          True fact: Steven Hawking and his wife are active members of one of the more exclusive swingers clubs in London.

          So, it’s actually within the realm of possibility that Ashley Graham could take up your challenge.

          1. I am not sure sescrubing Hawking as “active” in that sort of group is quite the right word.

            1. Certain parts are very active.

              1. +1 system of slings, pulleys, hammocks, and lubricant dispensers

            2. Active observer.

    5. expanded, get it? expanded!

  17. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    Aren’t they Special?

    1. No the special Olympics features real victims.

      1. and they’re way more fun to watch…

  18. “Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee Unite”

    That’s one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever heard.

    1. “The President of the United States, Donald Trump.”

      1. Beck/Bee 2020! Ponder that for a moment…

        1. “I’ll Bee Beck!”

          /Ah-nahld

          1. *narrows gaze*

            *loosens crysknife in sheath*

            1. The Fremen consider it a very grave offense to re-sheathe a crysknife without drawing blood.

              1. Don’t worry, he only actually has a cramic kitchen knife and not the real thing. (Plus what good is a knife that cna’t be used for mundane tasks? That means that they’re now stuck carrying around at least two blades – one for killing and one for regular utility. You want as little extra weight as possible when in desert conditions)

                1. The swiss always have a second knife on hand.

                  1. Plus a tiny pair of scissors, a fish scaler, flathead and Phillips screwdrivers, a bottle opener…

                    1. Bottle opener in case the Germans invade, corkscrew in case the French…oh, never mind, I guess that last isnt happening.

        2. Mad Dog 2020

    2. Do you want ant(ichrist)s? Because that’s how you get antichrists. If we’re talking about a carnal union, anyway.

  19. “Clinton campaign operative: Donald Trump has no mandate.”

    Trump’s not gay or stepping out on Melania. And this is a bad thing?

    1. Cool! Thanks, Lee!

    2. Cool.

      Watching quick sort struggle in its worse case scenarios is pretty funny.

      Bubble sort is awful unless you are sorting people by height while blindfolded. It works well in that situation. Where number of processors equals number of items to be sorted.

      1. I enjoyed that animation..

        And I enjoyed the mental animation of a bunch of blindfolded people self-sorting by height in a highly parallelized multiprocessor version of a bi-directional bubble sort.

        1. It wasnt a hypothetical.

          1. To steal a line from Neil Stephenson, my life is fractally weird.

      2. Heh – I recently used a bubble sort inside of an awk script to sort container qtys from low to high. It was weird but it worked for the bit of weirdo scripting I needed to do. Not recommended but hey, only 2 or 3 sets of qtys, so no biggie for using CPU power.

  20. Glenn Beck and Samantha Bee did a video together that’s pretty entertaining.

    I’ll take your word for it, thank you very much.

    1. Did they both die in a fire? If not, I’m not believing it.

    2. You’re missing out on some good strap on action.

      1. Samantha Bee finds a stranger in the alps?

  21. Here’s a profile of Ed Schutlz, the former MSNBC host and Putin critic who is now one of Russia Today’s most important anchors.

    Dasvidaniya, Rodina.

    1. Ed Schultz out of Closet.

    2. Schutlz has always been a guy who will say, yell, and scream whatever you pay him to say. I never understood how he rose above the Dodge salesman he was born to be,

    3. Nepravil’no, Kulak Esjolov: sejchas povtorjaj “Do svidanija”, jeto pravil’no.

      1. Groovus…it was YOU! Snowden escaped the US and went to RUSSIA, where you already were! You aided and abetted the traitor, then worked with Putin and his hackers to steal the election from Hillary to give to Trump, didn’t you!? DON’T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION, ANSWER ME NOW!!

        1. Yep, you got me, Jr. Red handed even! I was languishing in Rura Penthe Siberia, when Dr. ZG (who’s way hotter than Iman) rescued me after I agreed to indulge a favour. I wasn’t told beforehand what it was…

          On the bright side, I am working diligently on having Froot Sooshi kidnapped and impressed into offered a starring role in this new Russian reality TeeVee show.

          1. ‘Everything is allowed. Fighting, alcohol, murder, rape, smoking, anything,’ state show’s organisers

            1) What could possibly go wrong?

            2) They’ve just described Libertopia, according to most progressives

            3) I love – LOVE – that alcohol and smoking are grouped with fighting, murder, and rape

            1. “Him I killed, for the bottle of vodka he had”.

      2. Writing Cyrillic in English is problematic no matter how you slice it.

        1. Whatevs. Denial, The Angry Prostate, is simply feeding you excuses at this point.

  22. Feminism, it’s all about questioning assumptions, right?

    First, let’s chat about the problem(s). Anti-sexual violence folks have a tough job. We’re dealing with a kind of violence which has been normalized, appearing in the popular lexicon most frequently with variations of this charming model: Boy meets girl, boy exerts masculine privilege over girl, boy sometimes abuses or sexually assaults girl, society shrugs a little and asks girl what she was wearing.

    The task of feminism (in different ways across different contexts) has been to denaturalize, to make not-inevitable and not-okay, sexual violence. To remind us all that, while it may be normal for women to experience sexual violence and for men to inflict it, it is not right, and it is not inevitable. This is an important task, and a hard one.

    1. We’re dealing with a kind of violence which has been normalized, appearing in the popular lexicon most frequently with variations of this charming model: Boy meets girl, boy exerts masculine privilege over girl, boy sometimes abuses or sexually assaults girl, society shrugs a little and asks girl what she was wearing.

      Maybe in some alternate universe, or the Middle East. But I don’t expect these idiots to actually try to do anything about actual sexual violence.

    2. Every chick flick I’ve seen goes like this. L: girl is dating rich/ financially stable boy, girl mets other poor/less stable boy. They date. They get in fight over misunderstanding that should be easy to clear up. Girl almost marries rich guy. Other guy gets girls best friend to explain what happened. Girl leaves guy at the as alter, as nad runs off into unstable bliss.

      Realy they are right. Modern movies teach girls that it is normal to emotionally abuse and use people.

    3. boy sometimes abuses or sexually assaults girl

      What the hell does that mean? I assume it is supposed to be saying that some relationships are abusive. But it comes off as if it is saying that all relationships are sometimes abusive.

      1. If one bit abuses a girl all boys are abusing the girl.

    1. Massholes.

  23. The remark was a joke, she claims.

    You’re fired. No joking.

    1. Yeah, i’ll probably see that.

      1. Yea and it has Ryan Gosling in it so I won’t feel bad dragging my girlfriend to a matinee showing.

        1. “Hey girl, you must be a replicant, ’cause you got MY turtle struggling.”

          1. *shoots X from under the desk*

            1. That is the worst euphemism.

              1. “Wake up, time to die”?

      2. I give it 50/50 chances of not being crap. I feel betrayed after Prometheus.

        1. These are the same people that somehow made the original Total Recall look like a Shakespearean masterpiece.

          1. Don’t forget Robocop. Gah.

    2. Is Harrison Ford on a quest of trying to have every single one of my favorite childhood characters killed now that I’m an adult? First Han and Indi now Decker I bet.

    3. Gosling joining Pitt and Reeves in “hate the actor, love the movies” territory. Pines and Drive being the other two to meet the requirement.

      1. how can you hate the Gos?

  24. Alt text: “Botched abortion apologizes for Lena Dunham joke”

  25. Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion.

    Having never seen “Girls”, serious question: Does Lena Dunham have anything?

    1. Yes. From what I have seen the show can be funny. She can be a creative writer. However, her public persona far outweighs her talent.

      1. WeightWait, are you calling her *fat*?!

        1. I’m not weighting around to see how this pans out…

          1. she’s YUUUUUUUGE!

      2. Agreed. I find the show enjoyable. Her public persona is detestable.

  26. Suddenly the CIA is totes cool among the Democrats again.

    Thank you for posting that. I can’t pretend that I cn know how the Intelligence agents feel about

    the treatment they’ve received from The Con. Thanks to you, I have at least a little insight into that.

    I heard yesterday that “LOTS” of intelligence agents are resigning. These are the staff people who stay throughout sever administrations. The estimate of staff loss that I saw was HALF! Half of the agents in all the different national security departments! If that proves to be real, the intelligence of the USA is going to be extremely vulnerable. The remaining staff CAN’T pick up the slack. It’s TOO MANY GONE! To make matters worse, hiring new ones will not only be difficult, but HALF of all the departments will be NEWBIES! I’m not putting down the new employees. I’m just pointing out the lack of experienced agents will have a frightening effect on our Intel depts. and the only thing that can fix it…TIME! we can only HOPE nothing serious is missed during the learning curve.

    1. “The estimate of staff loss that I saw was HALF!”

      what a fucking moron. must be some college student with no clue about financial obligations.

      1. They are government employees, unless they’re being offered early retirement , the turn-over will be microscopic.

        1. Exactly…no fucking way an intelligence analyst government employee is going to walk off the job on principle. No. Way.

    2. Wow… I can’t even imagine how that idea could be backed up by facts of any type. Most of the people I know in the military and intelligence agency-related work are completely excited about Trump taking over. Quitting? They are ecstatic just waiting to see how it will play out.

      One guy I know with ties to the “black” side of things was actually expecting Hillary to win and with that expected her to blunder us into a big, shooting war very soon. He was actually spending more time in the gym getting into even better shape than usual.

      1. I can’t even imagine how that idea could be backed up by facts of any type.

        S/he saw it on facebook.

        Not that that would qualify as fake news, mind you.

    3. Oh, quotes from internet commentators with inside information on the workings of the CIA?

  27. Whole Foods under fire for selling cheap bodega-style chopped cheese sandwich for $8

    Users accused the upscale food chain of gentrifying the sandwich and thus facets of bodega-style meals.

    Ahem. Then don’t fucking buy it.

    1. This is why I rarely go into our local Wholefoods. Sometimes they have stuff I want to buy, but being in such close proximity with all the neighborhood hipster douchebags, makes it not worth it.

      1. You’re a better person than I am. It’s the $8 cheese sandwiches that keep me out.

      2. They have a bar there, that alone makes the trip worth it.

      3. Our whole foods is infested with limousine liberals, not hipsters. They like to stand around the produce section and catch up with all their friends like they are at church.

      4. I only go in there because of Mackey. In my neighborhood, it’s all former-hipster-turned-soccer-mom.

        I was at the meat counter one day, and this women took her time picking out the leanest cut of beef they had. When it came to my turn, I said “I’ll have a ribeye, with plenty of fat”. The former-hipster-turned-soccer-mom asked me why I would possibly want a cut of meat with fat in it. I weeped.

        1. “Because i understand how both nutrition and flavor work. Fuck along, now.”

        2. Yes to fatty ribeyes! It’s going to take a long time before the old nutrition advice of eating low fat finally goes away.

          I shop at whole foods sometimes but now that we have a Wegman’s in town, and close to my house, I doubt it will be very often.

        3. My steak-cooking life has changed forever now that I have a sous vide cooker. Might have to go to WF to get some more fatty ribeyes.

          1. Would love to try one. There’s always the beer cooler + thermometer option, I guess. Do you sear your steaks afterward?

            1. Yep. I let them cool a bit so the inside doesn’t cook anymore, and I get my cast iron ripping hot. And, of course, dry them off thoroughly.

            2. I use a Searzall (blowtorch attachment). It’s pretty awesome and does a good job searing the meat.

        4. If it weren’t for the high prices, the local Whole Foods would be a great grocery store. We go their sometimes because it’s the closest to my house. I haven’t noticed many hipsters there. Maybe that’s because I live in North Texas, and hardly know what a hipster is.

        5. “I’ll have a ribeye, with plenty of fat”

          I like you.

    2. It’s Whole Fucking Foods. Did you not notice that’s their entire business model?

  28. Let’s start with some game theory…..

        1. Your move…..

            1. *** concedes ***

            2. What….what did I just read?

              The ending was kind of nice, though.

  29. Nice article from September about how Merkel is helping Syrians get German truck licenses. What could go wrong?

    http://www.welt.de/politik/deutschlan…..Tipps.html

    1. Merkel’s going down.

      1. Dammit, Rich…..PHRASING!!!!!one1!!1

      2. She deserves to be hit in her big fat ugly potato sack looking head with a giant sledgehammer for what she has knowingly done to her own country.

        1. You know who else had violent fantasies about people who they considered harmful to Germany?

          1. Udo Kier?

          2. Tarantino?

            1. +1 Citizen Bear-Jew

    2. Oh come now, they haven’t even caught the guy yet. He’s going to turn out to be a neo-Nazi right wing extremist working in cahoots with American teabaggers, just like every time.

      1. I am sure the the Washington Post is writing a story based on CIA leaks that Putin was the driver.

      2. Nonsense. He’ll be some Robby Horse riding, allegedly sexually fluid dysmorphic, who still has a MySpace page devoted to Furbys and the storied career of Don Swayze.

        1. That would make for an interesting change of pace, I suppose.

        1. Ha ha. The interwebs was alight with Fake News? yesterday as the WaPo and NYT and others were outraged that Trump had implied that this terror attack was perpetrated by another Muslim migrant “without even having all the information”. Meanwhile Angela Merkel herself didn’t just think it was a Muslim terror attack, but she mused that it might be one of her migrant children that did it. As did the various security services involved in the investigation, as did witnesses et cetera.

        2. We’ll never really know the motivations of the person who murdered a Polish truckdriver to steal his truck and to murder Germans attending the Berlin Christmas Market.

          But we should all be grateful that the Germans aren’t blaming Jews for crashing into the Christmas Market this time.

          1. Can you imagine if Jews in the 1920’s were behaving like Muslims in 2016? More than just Nazis would have been pushing for their eradication.

            1. People resent blacks moving in because perception is they don’t work much and end up ruining the neighborhood.

              People resent Jews moving in because perception is they work too much and end up owning the neighborhood.

              Muslims are the new blacks. Asians the new Jews.

  30. I’ve been waiting for a Beck and Bee collaboration for years and the Lord answered my prayers just in time for Christmas. Oh happy day!

    1. You’re sick, dude!

      1. He’s a mean one.

    2. I wouldn’t touch that with a 10.5 foot pole.

  31. President Obama bans oil drilling in large areas of Atlantic and Arctic oceans
    …White House officials described their actions to make the areas off limits to future oil and gas exploration and drilling as indefinite. Officials said the withdrawals under Section 12-A of the 1953 act used by presidents dating to Dwight Eisenhower cannot be undone by an incoming president. It is not clear if a Republican-controlled Congress can rescind Obama’s action….

    1. It’s a permanent ban. Permanent being until the day after inauguration.

      1. The article says it isn’t. It’s hard for me to understand how, at least if the law is Constitutional.

    2. Lawyers start your engines!

    3. He wrote “No Backsies” on it, so it must stay forever!

      1. Christ, these euphemisms never quit!

    4. Does Obama’s latest pen+phone action bind the Russians too? Methinks not.

      1. How people seem to forget Obumbles “Hot Mike” moment with Dmitri Medvedev, when he said, “Tell Vladimir I can be more flexible *after* the election.”

        1. Yeah but that was 11 dimensional chess he was playing. We mere plebs cannot fathom the game he was playing.

          1. Some of us are so dumb that we can’t even determine whether he was winning the game without expert assistance.

            Fortunately, by reading the NYT and listening to NPR to get the judgment of wise and knowledgeable journalists, we can learn that the Anointed One was indeed winning all the time. That’s why, despite what my lying eyes tell me, I understand that the US economy is doing wonderfully great, the inflation rate is negligible, and the US government is more respected around the world than ever. And, of course, that means that Trump would never have been successful if he had not got help from the Russians.

            1. It all makes sense now, insofar as my flyover-country brain can make sense of things.

    5. Are new drilling platforms even feasible in a world of low oil prices?

    6. You can tell none of the reporters actually read the text of the act.

      (a) Withdrawal of unleased lands by President: The President of the United States may, from time to
      time, withdraw from disposition any of the unleased lands of the outer Continental Shelf.

      There’s nothing permanent in there. In fact using the “from time to time” implies the temporary nature of the withdrawal.

    7. The left wanted a king that could make decrees when their guy was in. Fine. Guess what? New king, new decrees.

    1. You’re freaking me out, man!

      1. That was my guess!

      2. He can’t type right either, that is not how you spell ‘Wanking’.

        1. I didn’t even try to multipost that time…

    2. So Timor Leste and South Sudan are okay to go full socialist, then?

  32. The more my community and conversations expanded ? particularly around experiences related to fatness and its intersections with and complications by race, gender, ability, and especially size and shape ? the clearer this became.

    Fatso Olympiad?

    1. You know that’s Christ Christie, The Corpulent Jesus’ OK Cupid username, right Brooksie?

  33. Jeet Heer’s Twitter useage is very problematic.

    Someone needs to explain to the ladies they can simply not follow someone.

    1. Someone needs to explain mansplain to the ladies they can simply not follow someone.

      1. That explanation can come from another lady, if it helps make the connection. Maybe Caitlyn Jenner or one of the Wachowskis.

        1. “That explanation can come from another lady”

          No dice. Feminsts told me that even women can mansplain. Why is it called “mansplaining” then?? One of the mysteries of the world.

          1. Why is it called “mansplaining” then??

            In all seriousness, it relates to the diction and tone of voice of the speaker doing the ‘splaining.

            1. sooo if I do it with a Cuban accent like Ricky Ricardo it’s ok?

            2. In reality, it relates to the preconceived notions of the listener.

              1. In reality, it relates to the preconceived notions of the listener.

                *huffy, knowing voice* Yeah, I knew you’d say that. ‘Splains much, it does. *folds arms*

            3. I’m just trying to make sure you’re getting this all down, sweetheart. Don’t get hysterical.

            4. Stop groovsplaining to me, man.

      2. No! There must be no man allowed to make rude remarks about women any where. Unless it’s in Saudi Arabia, and they donate to HRC, cause them they are totally woke.

  34. “Clinton campaign operative: Donald Trump has no mandate.”

    Wait, I thought they said he was dating Putin?

    They break up already?

  35. After Neo-Nazi Posting, Police in Whitefish, Mont., Step Up Patrols

    The police in Whitefish, Mont., said Tuesday that they have stepped up patrols and are working with the F.B.I. after a neo-Nazi and white supremacist website listed the names and contacts of local Jews, calling on readers to “take action” against them.

    Lt. Bridger Kelch of the Police Department in the town in northwestern Montana said that the force was taking the measures after the website, The Daily Stormer, on Friday published phone numbers, work locations, email addresses, and photographs of six Flathead County residents. Several of those targeted were from Whitefish where Sherry Spencer, the mother of the white nationalist leader Richard B. Spencer, lives and owns a building that has been the subject of protests.

    The Daily Stormer article was written by Andrew Anglin, who has been described by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a neo-Nazi. The post was filled with anti-Semitic slurs, and yellow stars reminiscent of the ones Jews were forced to wear by the Nazis were superimposed on photographs of the six: a lawyer, a real estate agent, a boy identified as their child, two rabbis, and an activist.

    1. calling on readers to “take action” against them

      Something that approaches actual incitement.

    2. Glad they have a bunch of extra cops who were doing nothing before this.

    3. I am moved to say that after the coup d’etat by Russians and corrupt FBI run by evil Comey to install literally Hitler into power, I am literally shaking with fear over the resurgence of Teutonic national socialism in these backwater toothlessvilles. And so grateful – but yet with that polished Times frisson of reassurance of my well-educated decency and concern – that the NYTimes devotes so many paragraphs to in-depth reporting, such as “Reached by telephone, Lt. Kelch said Tuesday morning that the department was reviewing social media posts and emails directed at the six people, but that none had risen to death threats. He said the department was conducting patrols, but there had been no reported confrontations in person or by telephone. ‘We have been looking at any communications,’ he said.” I as say, I am literally shaking, but feel good about myself.

  36. Users accused the upscale food chain of gentrifying the sandwich and thus facets of bodega-style meals.

    I want them to gentrify pigs’ feet and collard greens, next, because the howling would be musical.

    1. Good God, these people are fucking ridiculous.

      1. Look the whole mindset of modern progressivism is that if something upsets you you can complain about it and demand that people to change for you.

      1. I was on a fishing trip in Camden, TN once. The restaurant we ate at had an all chitlin buffet. Boiled, fried, deep fried, etc.

        Of course, I got it. When else would I ever have such a chance again?

        I was also really drunk from being out drinking and fishing all day. I think I provided a lot of amusement for the local hillbillies as I staggered back and forth with plates of chitlins and provided running commentary.

        1. If you’ve ever smelled chitlins being cooked or watched the cleaning process, you wouldn’t eat it.

          1. So, a culinary version of Girls, then?

            1. Correct, you being a doctor, would probably recognize the smell of the inside of a dead intestine. Not good. It reminds me of skinning a rabbit that weighs 300 pounds.

              1. I actually perform intestinal surgeries, bacon, such as resections, anastomoses, dissections, and colostomies, so yeah, I’m pretty familiar with the colon.

                Fortunately, as long as the mag citrate/Go Lytely prep is thorough, they actually don’t smell that bad (though open surgeries of the large and small intestines are classified as “contaminated surgeries” because of all the florae that inhabit the intestines).

                Surgical Fun Fact: The sterile bucket used intraoperatively to contain resected colon for the path lab send off is affectionately known as, “The Slop Bucket,” by many ORs and OTs.

    2. You can take my fried okra from my cold dead hands.

      1. Mustard greens in chicken stock with ample pork neck bones are far superior to collards. Collards are for feeing and growing neck bones.

        Everyone knows this.

        1. I’ll have to try those. I really like collards (similarly cooked with pork, chicken stock, and some cider vinegar) but they need to be cooked long enough so they are actually tender.

          1. I like the mixed greens myself.

  37. Thank god for proggies. They at least gave Ed Schulz a gig at Air America so that he left his job as a Fargo ND sports broadcaster.

    Not that he wasn’t loved by the Thundering Herd but I know I hated seeing his mug on the nightly news.

    1. Ugh! I hadn’t heard that he had bought a home in my old hometown of Detroit Lakes. Now I feel dirty.

  38. The right-wing firebrand, who has recanted much of his extreme rhetoric, said he saw a lot of himself in the TBS show host.

    That’s how you hit a TDS alum.

  39. Jeet Heer complains that people find his Twitter essays long, disjointed, and unpleasant to read, but after reading his TNR piece, I don’t think the word “Twitter” is necessary.

  40. GLOBAL WARMING CLIMATE CONFUSION

    Neat image though, snow on the sand.

    1. I was there 26 years ago – saw snow in the air but no accumulation.

      1. Oh shit that was the Arabian Desert, not the Sahara. I get those shitty places mixed up.

    2. Isn’t Cairo in the Sahara?

      1. Strictly speaking, I think it’s in the Nile valley or delta.

    3. Apparently the Sahara doesn’t subscribe to your patriarchal binary definitions of climate.

      1. Did I care about this 37 years ago? No.
        Do I care about this now for some reason? Yes.

        UNPRECEDENTED

        1. 37 years ago I wasn’t even born yet. And now, 37 years later, I have to deal with snow in the Sahara. How do you think that makes me feel?

          1. Same here! I literally can’t even.

  41. Robby, stop it with the Lena Dunham. Nobody should know or care about anything she says or does.

    1. That’s the point, dear Tee Dubbs.

    2. That’s exactly why people should know that she longs for an abortion and bragged about molesting her sister, all so she can gain some fucked up kind of credibility that only a prog would value.

      1. I knew an SJW woman who I think was only a lesbian for the prog-cred she got from it. Always talked about white privilege and always went out of her way to show how down she was with black people.

        She was also a completely miserable person – one of those people with “fibromyalgia” always seeking attention. I was thankful when she divorced my friend.

        1. fibromyalgia

          Had to google it. So it’s the perfect disease for attention whores and hypochondriacs. Thoroughly debilitating, easily faked and hard to disprove.

          1. And also the perfect excuse to never have to do anything you don’t want to do.

            “I just cant today, my fibromyalgia is really flaring up.”

            1. Tell your anesthesia provider that you have fibromyalgia, they hear “Train wreck, will next tell me she’s allergic to toradol and Ofirmev.”

  42. “Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.”

    No, I don’t care enough to comment.

    I care enough to say I don’t give a shit what Lena Dunham apologizes for or doesn’t apologize for.

    What is this, 2014? That was an eon ago, already!

    Take it to Salon. They’re stuck in the past, too.

  43. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    How could white people possibly feel threatened by increasing racial diversity in the US and Europe? They must be racists, because it’s not like a rapidly growing subset of the population openly view whites as an obstacle to having all the good things in life….

  44. “A Republican lawmaker wants a professor fired over his tweets about police officers . . . “

    A state legislator said something stupid somewhere?

    No, I don’t care enough to comment.

    I care enough to say I don’t give a shit.

    Imagine saying any random stupid thing about any given policy, and some state legislator somewhere said it yesterday, I’m sure.

    So what?

  45. Nothing about how the Islamonazi psychopath who just perpetrated Germany’s worst terrorist attack in 36 years is a so-called “refugee” from Tunisia and is still on the loose?

    1. Are you sure that’s not Fake News??

    2. It was in Monday’s PM links, was a main story Monday afternoon, was in Tuesday’s AM links, and it was in Tuesday’s PM links. What more do you want?

      1. Come on, dude. Mikey can’t read. He uses speech-to-text to post random comments. I think that’s why his nicknames are so fucked up – the app can’t understand his incoherent enraged splutters.

      2. Uhhhhhhh, some rather significant new information has come out in the last 16-17 hours brochacho. When the P.M. links were put out yesterday afternoon, the real perpetrator wasn’t known yet at that time.

    3. Nope, nothing. The SJW cosmos at Reason are participating in the media blackout of Germany’s terrorist attack.

      1. Nah, that’s something they do more with gang rapes and the otherwise tremendous amount of sexual assault taking place in Germany and Sweden.

        1. Do they not provide a forum for you to share the information?

            1. a funny thing happened on the way to…shit, someone already used that one!

          1. No. Reason is the only news source in the world and they are obliged to give us continuous updates on whatever any individual commenter thinks is the most important story.

            1. I was speaking to the “participating in the media blackout” part, which is a real thing that is done especially in regards to sexual assault. So no, there are very few media outlets reporting on it. Great snark as usual though guys.

              1. OK, fair enough. It would be good to see something on the sexual assault thing from Reason.

                When I donated to them this year I commented that it would be nice to see some coverage of certain issues that they are often criticized in the comments for not addressing.

                As you know, I’m a lot more positive in general about immigration than you are. But I can see that what’s going on in Europe now with Muslim migrants is causing some real problems that aren’t going to sort themselves out without some serious changes somewhere (I’d start with getting rid of state benefits for anyone who shows up and claims to be a refugee).

                1. As you know, I’m a lot more positive in general about immigration than you are. But I can see that what’s going on in Europe now with Muslim migrants is causing some real problems that aren’t going to sort themselves out without some serious changes somewhere (I’d start with getting rid of state benefits for anyone who shows up and claims to be a refugee).

                  We are technically in different camps regarding immigration, but our policy preferences aren’t all that different in the end, at least between you and I. Some libertarians advocate for a complete lack of restrictions regardless of any other factors at play and view immigration, particularly third world immigration, as a good thing in and of itself.

                  I’m not opposed to immigration in general, I’m opposed to tax payer subsidized immigrants, be they legal or not. If immigrants are subsidized, then their presence in a given country is almost entirely disconnected from any market demand or any market saturation that would naturally regulate the movement of peoples. We can’t just remove market mechanisms and indicators and expect all the benefits to accrue without qualification. That’s what turns immigration into another destructive government program.

        2. HazelMeade approves.

        3. I guess we’re supposed to pretend for the sake of all the poor little sensitive SJWs that no new important or relevant details (like for example the identity of the perpetrator) have come out since yesterday afternoon.

          1. What, did they finally catch the guy? They let the one person they caught go.

            1. Yeah, the original guy they took in was completely innocent and has been cleared and let go.

              Now they know who the real perp is because they eventually discovered he left personal information under one of the truck seats: a 23 year old Tunisian named Anis Amri that the fucking moron Angela Merkel let into the country as a so-called “refugee”. He’s still on the loose, and a nationwide manhunt is underway for him.

              1. Wait, it took them this long to find out that they guy left his fucking wallet there? Top police work there, Columbo.

              2. “because they eventually discovered he left personal information under one of the truck seats”

                How did they not find that immediately??

            2. Oh, nvm. But he’s from “Tataouine”. Maybe it’s a stealth ad campaign for Rogue One?

              1. The planet Tatooine in Star Wars was named after the Tunisian city where they filmed the scenes that took place there, because George Lucas is really not very creative.

              2. The glare from the twin suns through the truck windows made it hard to see the ID below the seat, ok?

    4. Yeah. They just mentioned the first guy that got arrested to throw us off their trail. All part of a cunning plan.

    5. He’s from Tunisia? Well, I mean, maybe there’s a chance he’s Italian then?

  46. Taxpayers Foot Bill for ‘Doggie Hamlet’
    Actors in federally funded show yell and run at sheep in field for ‘postmodern dance’

    “Doggie Hamlet is a full-length outdoor performance spectacle that weaves dance, music, visual and theatrical elements with aspects from competitive sheep herding trials,” writes Elsie Management, a firm that promotes the performing arts. “The work is performed by four dancers, one boy, one American Sign Language interpreter, two herding dogs and a flock of sheep in a 30 x 50 foot fenced field.”

    “Doggie Hamlet recalls the bucolic impression of a landscape painting or a 3D pastoral poem,” the group said. “The sheep, the dogs, the human performers, and the earth’s surface are at once performing as themselves and as living symbols in this work.”

    “Through story, motion, site and stillness Doggie Hamlet explores instinct, sentience, attachment, and loss, and is a beautiful and dreamlike spectacle weaving instinct, mystery, and movement into an unusual performance event,” the group concluded.

    1. Because when I think of stealing property from people on pain of death and imprisonment to pay for really important things, I think of the “bucolic impression of a landscape painting or a 3D pastoral poem” that you can only get from Doggie Hamlet.

    2. Sounds like a Monty Python skit.

      1. sounds like a Monty Python skit even they thought was too stupid for words

    3. Nothing left to cut. Absolutely nothing.

  47. “Here’s a profile of Ed Schutlz, the former MSNBC host and Putin critic who is now one of Russia Today’s most important anchors.”

    Here’s the winner of a hula hoop contest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCuUHXyB4a8

    So what?

    1. Is this the Ed Schultz who hosted a radio show on the bankrupted Air America platform, who by comparison makes Alex Jones sound reserved and articulate?

  48. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    Made my day!! Thanks!

  49. “Through story, motion, site and stillness Doggie Hamlet explores instinct, sentience, attachment, and loss, and is a beautiful and dreamlike spectacle weaving instinct, mystery, and movement into an unusual performance event,” the group concluded.

    That’s a relief. I thought somebody had scammed a bunch of money from some dupe (or co-conspirator) at a government agency.

  50. “Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.”

    Poor butters.

  51. Robby, stop it with the Lena Dunham.

    She’s gonna call him back this time!

    1. That’s so.. pathetic…that a chronic D-list attention whore known for molesting her baby sister and copious amounts of erection nuking, Nero-level, gratuitous nudity, can’t seem to find time to call back our young, intrepid, eager young SJW Space Cadet alleged journalist here.

      When Lena Dunham blows you off*….

      *Shameless Monte Crusto stroke bate

      1. I wouldn’t call them friends per se. More like people I know who happen to hang around a lot. You know I’m not like them. I gotta make a living. You can understand that, can’t you?

        1. To be sure, straffin-san….To be sure.

  52. “Will Trump’s OMB Director Blow Up the Global Economy?”
    […]
    “Catherine Rampell of the Washington Post is worried that Mick Mulvaney will blow up the global economy by destroying the creditworthiness of the United States’ debt.
    […]
    Mulvaney is most famous as a congressman for being a debt ceiling truther. That is, he joined irresponsible nutcases like Paul Ryan in arguing that the United States government could fail to make debt payments on time without defaulting on its debt or causing a downgrade in our nation’s credit rating.”
    http://washingtonmonthly.com/2…..l-economy/

    Exploding heads, shit-filled pants, poisoned wells, all brought to you by Trump
    (threat or menace??????????)

    1. If someone at the Washington Post says he’s ‘dangerous’ then he must be phenomenal!

    2. Yeah… raising the debt ceiling is *only* about making good on our current debt service. It’s certainly not about avoiding making cuts so we can pay the debt service.

    3. What the fuck is a “debt ceiling truther”? Asinine.

    4. Paul Ryan, though you may have policy differences with him, is about as far from an “irresponsible nutcase” as Trump is from David Niven….

  53. Catherine Rampell of the Washington Post is worried that Mick Mulvaney will blow up the global economy by destroying the creditworthiness of the United States’ debt.

    I would think she’d be ecstatic; after all these years of trying, we’ll finally get it done.

    1. Saddling our children with unpredictable, probably greatly overstated effects of global warming? Immoral, even sociopathic.

      Saddling our children with an unpayable national debt load and unsustainable economic arrangement? That’s fine.

      1. “Saddling our children with unpredictable, probably greatly overstated effects of global warming? Immoral, even sociopathic.”

        Not only overstated, but the proposed ‘solutions’ seem to offer nothing of the sort.
        Questionable ‘problem’ with unrealistic ‘solutions’ which certainly include really bad side-effects.

        1. Solutions that will beggar our children’s and their children’s futures, such that if something calamitous does eventuate they’re much less capable of handling than they’d be if we invested our current capital more wisely.

          1. The rationalization employed by lucky carboniferous lefties with bizjets and motor yachts vis-a-vis global warming is the same as the debt: I got mine. Fuck you.

  54. Jeet Heer’s Twitter useage

    I can only assume his name is also misspelled

  55. Jeet Heer, a senior editor at The New Republic, thinks people fucking vegetables warrants 21 points:

    Robby’s discovered someone less interesting than Lena Dunham.

    I presume we’ll be hearing a lot of him.

    1. At least he can get Robby a better job, so that I can respect.

  56. Witness identifies ex New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez as shooter in double murder. Hernandez is already serving a life sentence without parole for the murder of Odin Lloyd in June 2013.

  57. A class on the Problem of Whiteness?

    You know, every Problem has a Solution…

  58. The University of California’s Students of Color Conferences turned into “oppression Olympics” after participants from different marginalized groups began arguing.

    This little conference and its results encompass why the Democrats more than anyone are doomed by their treasured demographic destiny.

    It also encompasses an idea germinating in my head for a game: PCP – “Politically Correct Poker.” Different diversity suits give different values to otherwise numerically identical cards. A pair of twos where one is black, for instance, beats a tranny flush (ewww) as a hypothetical formulation. Another working title is ‘Diversity Hold’em.’

    1. C’mon man, if you were really trying here you would have said “Any pair of spades which are black, for instance, beats a pair of queens, which are gay….”

      1. I’ve only got far enough to making Trump the joker. But go on…

    2. Well, any combination of Spades would obviously beat everything, except Kings, who’re gonna be our requisite white guys. Queens we already decided where they fit in. Let’s just change the suit colors to Black, Yellow, Brown and Red. So, to surmise:
      Any combination of Black beats all
      Any combination of Brown beats all except Blacks
      Any combination of Red beats all except Black and Browns
      Any combination of Queens only beats Yellows
      Any combination of Yellow only beats Kings
      Kings are beaten always and every time by any combination of any colors at any time (Kings are the requisite White men in the game)

      1. I would think the white background of all the cards represents white men – underpinning and controlling everything else, faceless and universal, the conspiracy behind the picture.

        Kings are white women, because they think they’re so damn special…and everyone is kind of fond of kings, even if they have to keep such sentiments on the down-low in their respective suits.

  59. Lena Dunham apologized for saying she wished she had had an abortion. The remark was a joke, she claims.

    This excuse never stopped them from flaming away with full force.

  60. Honestly, I have no problem with defunding a university as long as it teaches anti-white racism. We don’t fund Bob Jones University, why fund this place? Let them wait till they get back on track and stop teaching ‘hate.’

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.