Donate to Reason! Because You Asked for Libertarian Party Coverage This Year, and We Delivered

From man-boobs to Rachel Maddow controversies to the best (and yet most disappointing!) vote total in history, we followed the party's historic year.


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A funny thing happened when Donald Trump won the Indiana Republican primary on May 3, thus knocking Ted Cruz out of the race and removing the last obstacle on his improbable glide path to the GOP presidential nomination: Google searches on "Libertarian Party" and "Gary Johnson" skyrocketed. The same libertarian political-watchers who'd been wandering around mumbling to themselves ever since Rand Paul dropped out of the race three months earlier suddenly snapped back to life, and became excited about third-party politics to an unprecedented degree. "Basically for the last three weeks I haven't been off the phone," Libertarian National Chair Nicholas Sarwark told me three weeks after the primary. "Membership is up about 12 percent just since the Cruz dropout. Daily memberships have doubled or tripled, and revenue we've quadrupled what we normally bring in in a month."

One of the benefits to having an active comments section, and maintaining multiple other channels through which our customers can communicate with us, is that we can tell pretty much straight away when a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE want us to start covering X topic a lot more. "X" this year, in a way that hasn't been true since at least before I was a teenager, was the Libertarian Party moment. It was the electric cattle prod that got me out of the editor's chair and back into reporting.

We were already all over L.P. politics before the Indiana primary, especially historian-of-the-libertarian-movement Brian Doherty, who covered the characters, debates, and surprisingly nasty controversies of the primary campaign, handicapping the race in a great magazine feature. I (along with our good friend Kennedy) provided color commentary to the two-part L.P. debate broadcast on Fox Business Network's Stossel, and wrote a widely reprinted column in the L.A. Times titled "Meet the Libertarians." On the eve of the party convention in Orlando at the end of May, Jesse Walker wrote some cautionary expectations about how the L.P. might fare in an extraordinary political year.

At the Libertarian Nation Convention, amid the man-boobs strippers and MegaCon trolls, we conducted Reason TV interviews with candidates Gary Johnson, William Weld, Austin Petersen, John McAfee. I gave six reasons why Libertarians were skeptical of Weld, Brian Doherty gazed into McAfee's dark afternoon of the soul, Nick Gillespie and I reported from the convention floor for CNN and MSNBC, and on the way to the inevitable, Doherty wrote the definitive accounts of the politicking behind presidential and vice presidential picks. Zach Weissmueller and Joshua Swain captured the action quite well:

In the ensuing campaign, through the double-digit polling highs to the self-inflicted Aleppo lows, we were right there, as often as not in the same room as the Libertarian candidate. I was in a hotel room with Johnson just prior to his crucial CNN townhall appearance with Weld, gave on-air reaction just after to CNN International, wrote up a critical take here on the ticket's kid-gloves treatment of Hillary Clinton (which we would go on to grill them about in a half-dozen subsequent interviews), and offered a longer view for CNN.com. Remember when Johnson lost his iPhone and freaked out on Facebook Live in front of a near-mob in Cleveland just outside the Republican National Convention? That was during our interview. Or when he flipped out on a Bloomberg reporter the night of the first presidential debate? That was my shaky camphone footage (150,000 views on YouTube and nearly 2 million partial views on Facebook).

We conducted Facebook Live interviews with Johnson and Weld at the Democratic National Convention, with both just before the first presidential debate, with Johnson the morning after, Johnson again the morning of Election Day, and Nicholas Sarwark that night (my morning-after session with Sarwark for Reason TV is best watched with a blindfold, given the hangovers involved). Reason TV was at the Johnson party on Election Night, and filed this report:

Bill Weld, of course, had been a controversial pick since even before the Libertarian Convention (see Jesse Walker's May 19 post titled "William Weld Isn't a Softcore Libertarian—He Just Isn't a Libertarian At All"), and we followed his idiosyncratic twists and turns throughout the campaign—his odd comments (including to Nick Gillespie) about Supreme Court picks, non-libertarian views on guns, the recurrent speculation that he might drop out to support Hillary Clinton, his urging of Republicans to vote against Trump, and finally his "vouching" for Clinton on The Rachel Maddow Show one week before the election, which was the final straw for many. Yet we also reported on how many of even Weld's critics give him props for exposing the party to new voters, funders, and especially media attention. And who has two thumbs and was the first journalist to interview Weld on Election Night after it became clear that his nightmare scenario of Donald Trump winning was taking place? This guy! ("I think in eight to twelve years the Libertarian Party could become the number-one party in the United States in terms of size," he told me, strangely buoyant).

The next issue of the print magazine features more reporting and analysis from Brian Doherty and myself as to what this whole year meant—best year in history? Most disappointing? All of the above? Regardless of our (tentative) conclusions, we gave you more than enough raw reporting material to come up with your own. This is what happens when enough of you ask us to cover something. Tell me in the comments, oh dear readers, what you want me and us to cover in the political arena during the next 12 months.


NEXT: HBO Documentaries Illuminate Castro's Brutal Cuba

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  1. Fuck you, cut spending!

    1. Now that made me laugh.

      1. Ah, and here I was thinking my joke fell flat. Well, glad to see at least one person enjoyed it. While I did donate, I do still say cut spending. (AKA fire Shikha Dalmia)

        1. She had a very good story about the Indian government completely screwing everybody, just today. But, yes, her immigration stories are… well, you know.

  2. I’m waiting until the last day. THE LAST DAY.

    1. The Last Day? Are you sure Reason will still be around?

      1. Day of wrath and doom impending.
        David’s word with Sibyl’s blending,
        Heaven and earth in ashes ending.

        Oh, what fear man’s bosom rendeth,
        When from heaven the Judge descendeth,
        On whose sentence all dependeth.

        Wondrous sound the trumpet flingeth;
        Through earth’s sepulchres it ringeth;
        All before the throne it bringeth.

        Death is struck, and nature quaking,
        All creation is awaking,
        To its Judge an answer making.

        Lo, the book, exactly worded,
        Wherein all hath been recorded,
        Thence shall judgement be awarded.

        When the Judge his seat attaineth,
        And each hidden deed arraigneth,
        Nothing unavenged remaineth.

        What shall I, frail man, be pleading?
        Who for me be interceding,
        When the just are mercy needing?

        King of Majesty tremendous,
        Who dost free salvation send us,
        Fount of pity, then befriend us!

        1. Think, kind Jesu! ? my salvation
          Caused Thy wondrous Incarnation;
          Leave me not to reprobation.

          Faint and weary, Thou hast sought me,
          On the Cross of suffering bought me.
          Shall such grace be vainly brought me?

          Righteous Judge, for sin’s pollution
          Grant Thy gift of absolution,
          Ere the day of retribution.

          Guilty, now I pour my moaning,
          All my shame with anguish owning;
          Spare, O God, Thy suppliant groaning!

          Through the sinful woman shriven,
          Through the dying thief forgiven,
          Thou to me a hope hast given.

          Worthless are my prayers and sighing,
          Yet, good Lord, in grace complying,
          Rescue me from fires undying.

          With Thy sheep a place provide me,
          From the goats afar divide me,
          To Thy right hand do Thou guide me

          When the wicked are confounded,
          Doomed to flames of woe unbounded,
          Call me with Thy saints surrounded.

          Low I kneel, with heart’s submission,
          See, like ashes, my contrition,
          Help me in my last condition.

          Ah! that day of tears and mourning,
          From the dust of earth returning
          Man for judgement must prepare him,
          Spare, O God, in mercy spare him.

          Lord, all-pitying, Jesus blest,
          Grant them Thine eternal rest. Amen.

          1. That was our wedding song

            1. I lost my virginity to that song.

        2. Ya know, I hate it when they twist the words to make the translation rhyme. The original Latin is better anyway. ‘Dies irae, dies illa, solvet saeclum et favilla, teste David cum Sybilla…”

          1. David was previously known as Sybilla?

            1. No, it was a creampie reference.

    2. He’s waiting until the last day so his name will be first on the banner. Childish.

  3. This Oakland fire thing is getting crazier and crazier. Some quotes from various articles:

    “We did not have a lot of victims go to the hospital,” Sgt. Ray Kelly, spokesman for the Alameda County Sheriff’s Office, told reporters during a news conference Saturday. “It appears that people either made it out, or they didn’t make it out.”

    To get to the second floor was a single, narrow staircase, she said. It was so cramped that people could only go up or down single file, and if one person was going up, anyone going down would have to wait.
    “It was this wonky, winding staircase,” Selby said. “It wasn’t even stairs in some places, just like planks of wood. Obviously, it was all hand-made.”

    1. Wow, those bumpkins need to get some fire code and zoning ordinances like the civilized world or something.

      1. Well, it was an an essentially-abandoned warehouse that local ‘artists’ had moved into and made into their home. Apparently there’d been some raves there before. The staircase that Playa mentions above was homemade out of old pallet slats.

        Regarding zoning ordinances, there was some pomade-haired city council guy just now being interviewed on the news. It looked like he could barely suppress a smile as he was pointing out that several other fires had happened in the recent past in this area, which had also been sites of ‘non-permit’ construction inside, saying “this is what happens when people don’t follow building codes.”

        1. LA Times is pushing the “this party didn’t have a permit!” angle.

          It is SO much worse than that. The “operator” is a meth addict who lived there with his wife and 3 kids. They’ve been taken away by CPS more than once, most recently after the youngest was found chewing on a used condom from an orgy hosted at the “collective” the week prior.

          There is no hell hot enough.

          1. most recently after the youngest was found chewing on a used condom from an orgy hosted at the “collective” the week prior.

            You say that like it’s a bad thing.

            1. The orgy, or the fallout?

              Eh, you don’t care. You’re already turned on.

              1. I guess that makes this the weekend party thread.

                Any guesses on Penn Jillette’s take on Taiwan tomorrow on PSS?

                My guess is he will find the Jimmy FUCKING Carter doctrine sacred and whine that Trump is going to get us into a nuclear war with the PRC before the inauguration.

                1. My question is, why the hell did we de-recognize Taiwan in 1979 to begin with? Why not recognize them and the mainland both as separate countries? Obviously too late fix it now.

                  1. That one is easy. Jimmy FUCKING Carter. He wanted Taiwan and South Korea defenseless for some sort of intellectual leftardian reason.

                    Nixon in 1971 is another puzzle. He unseated Taiwan from the UN Security Council and installed Mao’s communists.

                    Instead of doing something sensible like withdrawing the US from the UN and kicking them out of the US.

                  2. My question is, why the hell did we de-recognize Taiwan in 1979 to begin with? Why not recognize them and the mainland both as separate countries?

                    Late, but that’s pretty much not possible. The PRC’s official stance on Taiwan is that it’s a rebelling province, not a separate country, and recognizing it as such would make diplomacy with the mainland…difficult. Nixon and Co. threw their weight behind the mainland because “hey, we could use tens of millions of screaming Chinamen on the Soviet border”.

                    1. Isn’t the PRC’s official position that the 1949 revolution never ended, and that the ROC government in Taipei is still a rival claimant for the governance of all of China?

                      PRC has threatened that if the ROC ever withdraws its claim to be the rightful government of all of China, that the PRC will invade Taiwan. “If you stop fighting us we’ll invade you!”

                    2. Chip Your Pets,

                      Pretty much. And in 1996, the PRC fired rockets toward Taiwan just because Taiwan was having another free election. THAT is who and what Jimmy FUCKING Carter supported, and that is what the leftards are supporting now by crying about a phone call from Taiwan.

                    3. According to the PRC, Taiwan is a ‘rebel provence’ and they’re still in a state of war.

                    4. I think Taiwan also claims sovereignty over (Outer) Mongolia. China-China policy is fucked up.

                    5. Late, but that’s pretty much not possible.

                      Sure it is possible. The US recognizes Israel while some of their crybaby neighbors don’t. The US policy on recognizing other countries should not be dictated by dictators.

                    6. It’s possible to recognize one and have favourable relations, not both at the same time. He asked why they de-legitimized Taiwan and why they couldn’t recognize both. The answer is good relations with the mainland.

                      The US policy on recognizing other countries should not be dictated by dictators.

                      No, it’s dictated by U.S. foreign policy. Which has, since Nixon, wanted better relations with the mainland rather than Taiwan. Which requires them to not recognize Taiwan as a country. If they want a different arrangement they can change that, but they don’t, so they didn’t. You’re being overly dramatic again.

                    7. It’s possible to recognize one and have favourable relations, not both at the same time.

                      Nope, not hard at all. And your own answer reveals how a foreign policy can be set and changed from previous policies.

                      Foreign policy is not some undying spirit that all wills will be bent to. It is whatever the current policy makers decide it is.

                    8. You’re being overly dramatic again.

                      Fuck off, tard.

              2. Like YOU never chewed on a used condom when you were a kid…

          2. Where did you read that info?

              1. I was referring to the meth and kid chewing the condom. I’ve been home sick all day today and following the story but haven’t heard anything like that.

            1. Surprisingly, it was ALL on Facebook, publicly.

              1. I’m impressed that you managed to glean any useful information out of their Facebooks. I’ve been looking at the father’s for half an hour and all I’m getting is a metric ton of indecipherable Earth Mother babble.

                1. Go to the mom’s page. Click the photos. Scroll to the bottom. Find the pic of their family and read the caption.

                  They spent all of their on money on crank, so she’s offering to trade childcare for her kids in exchange for…. yep, archery lessons.

                  It’s one of those funny stories you can tell once you run out of crank. “Ha ha. Do you remember that time I did archery for 22 hours a day for 2 weeks straight? Good times!”. Except for nobody was watching their kids.

                  1. OMFG. And now my Facebook has the predictable the housing crisis is to blame for this outrage going on. Idk about everyone who lived in that space, but based on these two’s profiles? Sorry, guys. They would be living somewhere like this regardless of any housing crisis. They literally call themselves gypsies on their profiles. They live half the year in Eugene, Oregon, where there’s definitely no housing crisis going on. This type of living arrangement is where they want to be.

                    It just sucks that no one living/working there took fire safety precautions (I mean seriously? With that much old, dry wood in the place, you don’t even have a working fire extinguisher? But I mean, with the kinds of parenting choices these two were making, I guess it would be a stretch to think they had the brain power to think of common sense fire safety), because now it’s going to turn into yet another sledgehammer to beat Fill In Your Agenda Of Choice into your opponents’ heads.

                    1. And also people died. Which I didn’t mean to gloss over.

                      And those deaths could have been prevented, because regardless of blah blah codes and illegal renters or whatever, if you are spending $4500 a month to build a “sunkin gypsy pirate ship to sail across space and time,” loaded up with dry old wood and all the flammable art supplies you’re stashing, you really don’t need a city inspector or even your landlord to tell you that you probably ought to spring for some $20 smoke detectors and a working fire extinguisher from Home Depot.

                    2. MLW,

                      Or they could have followed the terms of their lease. They claimed they complained about electrical problems to the landlord, so not plugging too much pirate shit could have avoided it.

                      All my joking about more government above aside, the landlord had some sort of a lease in place, complete with every restriction multiple levels of government placed on their property, and the tenants appear to have said a big fuck you to all of that.

                      Plus the tenants are now blaming the landlord. Apparently for not having an electrical system to support a rave, a sprinkler system to support a rave, and utilities to support a residence also in violation of the lease.

                    3. Oh, there is a housing crisis in Eugene. The city has been ramping up incentives and handouts for the homeless, meanwhile land supply is drying up as Oregon’s 45 year experiment with statewide land use planning bears “fruit”. Not quite as bad as the Portland metro area yet.

              1. Wow, fuck them.

                I don’t have the Facebook.

          3. LA Times – “Oakland City Councilman Noel Gallo, who represents the district where the fire broke out, said neighbors have regularly complained about the building ? particularly the fact that it had piles of trash and debris outside.”

            Maybe they need a webathon so codes enforcement trapped in their Oakland offices can go outside and investigate the complaints.

            After that, Chattanooga can have a webathon so the schools transportation workers can get out from behind their desks and investigate bus drivers reported driving badly before they kill any more kids.

            Obviously we do not have enough government to solve these problems. Fidel left us too soon. Nobody died in Cuba by accident.

            1. I’m already hearing the lame ass pleas from the usual suspects about lack of funding, not enough inspectors, etc etc.

              1. “If we pay them more, they will do a better job.” is probably the next item in the script.

              2. Well, the $200M for a new Raiders stadium has to come from somewhere. As Diamond Joe Quimby said, ducking this issue requires real leadership.

                1. I thought that stadium was going to be in Vegas?


                  1. Oakland has come up with its own (smaller) crony deal to keep the Raiders.

          4. LA Times is pushing the “this party didn’t have a permit!” angle.

            Well, when you charge thousands of dollars for permits. people are going to start ignoring them.

            I’ve been looking for a house here? there are tons of housing listings in LA with unpermitted construction or conversions.

            That’s not even counting unpermitted repairs.

            1. In LA is the place if you don’t have kids. 10% discount from comps because of the shitty school district.

              1. If I had my druthers, I’d live far from LA, ideally someplace with a low cost of living yet high compensation rate…

            2. The hosts of the party without a permit were on the Today Show, with good old Willie Geist, blaming the fire on the landlord and electrical problems. One of them claimed to have used a whole handheld fire extinguisher to fight the fire.

              Already shaping up to be one of those deals with tenants who think the lease is just advisory, exacerbated by a local government that agrees.

            3. The fire was in Oakland. I am not sure if that changes any of your assessment of the situation.

        2. Wow, looks like those Californian bumpkins forgot to create a codes enforcement department for all their otherwise perfectly crafted codes!

          Speaking of perfectly crafted code.

        3. Well, it was an an essentially-abandoned warehouse that local ‘artists’ had moved into and made into their home.

          According to the unlicensed party hosts, they had been whining to their landlords for three years about electrical issues. So, not so abandoned.

          Not that I believe the claims of the artistish occupants on face value. However, one would think if they were attempting adverse possession the owners would have gotten them evicted in less than three years.

  4. …more reporting and analysis from Brian Doherty and myself

    I’m really interested in myself. Could I please read more of myself?

    1. Yes. But SugarFree will doing the writing.

  5. You’re going to use Reason’s limited LP and Johnson coverage over the extensive work you guys did covering why Trump is so horrible you should vote for Clinton?

    1. You are such a cock-blocker.

    2. That and they’re banking on their wonderful coverage of libertarian leaning Rand Paul.

      Oh wait their coverage of Rand was complete bullcrap.

  6. Did Reason back Austin Petersen at all, or did they just jump on the Johnson?

    1. My recollection of it all, while hazy at best, is they stroked the Johnson, loved on the Hillary, and never mentioned the Peterson.

      1. Oh well then, let me back my armored car right up to their door and have my slaves shovel the gold coins right into the lobby!

        Nothing says worthy Libertarian publication like shitting on a real libertarian, blowing a RINO, and bending over for a Democrat pegging.

        1. Don’t forget the “l”ibertarian case for Bernie…

          1. Guess I need to add another truck for that.

        2. The blowing and pegging sound pretty libertarian.

          1. Really? Sounds kinda libertine to me, which is of course optional in libertarian, not required. Cosmotarian, I’m not so sure about their rules.

      2. Your memory is belied by the links in this very post.

        1. There is a post attached to this?

        2. From the links provided in this very post, I don’t see the 24/7 fawning over Petersen that Reason did over Johnson. Not even the level of fawning Reason did over Jeff Flake.

  7. I just found out an old girlfriend, one who until today I would still think about in very positive ways all the time, has passed away unexpectedly from a fast and aggressive pneumonia.

    We had an amazing couple of years together in the mid-1990s.
    She was a free-spirit, hippie chick, bisexual, psychologist and artist, a former gymnast and ballerina.
    She could be as crazy and unpredictable as anyone I’ve ever met, but could also have heartfelt all-night conversations that I’ve never had with anyone else.

    In the end, she was just a bit too much of a loose cannon in too many ways to consider settling down with, but I think I really loved her, which I can’t say about too many of the women I’ve dated. I’m even feeling bad right now as I remember the day I broke up with her, and she was even more sad than expected, because she told me she had thought when I said I wanted to talk, that I was going to ask her to marry me.

    I haven’t seen her for over 20 years, but hearing about her passing has flooded me with memories.

    Thanks for indulging me and letting me post this here; as you might imagine, it would be hard to talk to my wife about this.

    RIP dancing in the sun girl

    1. Sounds like an amazing girl. That sucks. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

    2. I have one of those too. We’ll talk in person sometime soon.


    3. Sounds like the world is poorer for her passing. *pours one out*

    4. Sorry to hear that, dude.

      And hey, let’s have another H&R meetup soon.

    5. Sorry C. The ones who aren’t always the best for us can still leave a hell of an impression on our lives.

    6. Condolences

    7. Sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing individual.

    8. Sorry to hear this. Life is so, so short.

    9. Condolences.

      1. Thanks for the kind words everyone!
        Most appreciated.

        It may technically be a comment section, but there’s really a nice sense of community here. It’s certainly one of the things that keeps me coming here and has for all these years.

        You people are great.

  8. When Welch gets off the cocktail circuit as an “editor at large,” I’ll donate.

    1. In a month, he will be Editor at HUGE!

  9. So we finally going to get some Sunday articles tomorrow with the money push on?

  10. Won’t you pretty please donate to Reason approximately right now?

    NO BUCK$ 4 CUCKS !

  11. A convicted con man who plotted to have a federal judge killed with a wood chipper

    Whose handle?

  12. We asked for coverage, but got partisan propaganda instead. Pass.

    1. It wasn’t partisan propaganda. It was being fair to the helpless girl.

  13. I hope the Libertarian Party does more introspection than the Democrats have.

    1. You can designate your donation as introspective.

  14. “Green Party drops bid for statewide Pennsylvania recount”

    Wasn’t PA required if a challenge to the EC votes was going to be successful?

      1. Needed the subjunctive. “were going to be successful.”

  15. I’ve been trying to shove a fiver through a USB port but it seems Reason can’t be bothered to meet me halfway and pull it the rest of the way to them.

    1. The website isn’t like Winston’s mom, dude.

      1. No? It’s slow, crashes a lot, and lets anyone in.

  16. Creator of General Tso’s Chicken dies at 98.


      1. At least we still have Alan Rickman.

        1. And Mrs. Brady.

            1. More like Fe-Del. The Most Glorious Ironman of the Caribbean, who fostered the safest of spaces for anti-imperialist revolutionary socialist thought!

              1. More Fidel! to share with your friends, frenemies, and leftards. Especially the leftards. Please, copy and post wherever you like. This is my grand gift to humanity.

  17. Wait, Welch is still with Reason?

    I thought he got fired an KMW took his job?

    1. Is anybody ever really fired from Reason?

      1. Lu…………

    2. Welch is At Large, who knows what he is doing these days.

      1. Hey, did you see the little story about your screen name I posted last night?

        1. You should have been watching a baseball game

    1. honestly, i’m confused. Which ones are the racists again? the ones who want a black santa, or the other ones? I was sort of expecting Africans to be all up in arms that this Germanic tradition was being Brown-Washed in order to foist it on the masses.

      1. Online racists. Trolls trolling trolls that troll. Either laugh at it or ignore, but claiming it’s some genocidal threat is absurd.

    2. OK, so yeah, Jesus was white(ish). Or is it ((((whitish))))?
      But Santa Claus is a made up amalgamation of many different saints (I think one or two may be black), and faerie folk.
      Don’t see why a black guy can’t play that role. Or Lucy Lu.

        1. Of course that video exist.

      1. I agree. There should be Gay Bear Santa Clauses, and Transaclauses, just to round things out. Oh, and a Native American-a-Claus

    3. Cultural appro…. oh never mind.

  18. GLBT rights and bathroom wars are just as boorish coming from “libertarian” writers as from liberal ones.
    Gary rights? No, it’s human rights, the same ones for everybody. Gay marriage? Marriage is a religious ceremony and is none of the government’s business. Equal contract law for all, and leave marriage to the churches. Bathroom wars? The wants of a very vocal .1% of the population do not outweigh the rights of the other 99.9%.
    Go ahead and practice, when you get that down we’ll continue.

    1. “Gary rights” of course, refers to Gary Johnson demanding extra dipping sauce for his McNuggets.

      1. Well you don’t want dry nuggets.

        1. Uh… well, uh, hmm… i guess not too dry.

      2. Just ask. They’ll give it to you unless you’re some sort of freak.

        I have a whole drawer of Hot Mustard sauce.

        1. So they’ll give it to you even if you are some sort of freak.

    2. Now you did it! The Reason position on gay marriage has been whatever Mrs. Clinton says it is for at least a decade.

  19. Who the fuck decided sweatpants had to have pockets that reach to the knees? Is it when you’re sweatpants that you really want to load up on pocketable stuff? I don’t think so.

    1. Warren’s Saturday night: jug wine and sweat pants.

      1. And a round or 2 of pocket pool. Which answers your question.

      2. Light sweat pants, no underwear and a lap dance from the titty bar down by the highway.

    2. Who the fuck decided sweatpants had to have pockets

      Compulsive masturbaters?

    3. The right one is for multiple cans of natty lite, the left is to fill with cheetos.

    4. ” Is it when you’re sweatpants that you really want to load up on pocketable stuff?”


    5. A couple decades ago, I had a double hernia. After the surgery it was nothing but sweats for weeks, and, yes, I’m glad they told me ahead of time to buy sweats with pockets.

  20. My goodness!
    Just caught a look at the half-time announcer for the Big 10 game; the world needs sport coats that look like the sign-off test patterns on TV.

    1. Yeah, it looks like something you would find in a thrift store. I have seen sports guys wearing worse though i.e. pimp suits.

    2. It’s nice to see Penn St losing.

      1. Yup. I want them to lose but still be a fairly close game.

      2. C’mon ref, where’s the holding call on the Lion lineman?

      3. Hey Badgers? Maybe try playing defense?

        1. When a team decides that tackling is giving a manly hug, I tend to turn the game off.

          1. And not even a Sandusky type hug.

        2. Warren, I’ll talk to you. Let’s discuss jug wine.

          1. Don’t you have some Hamilton! fan fic to write?

      4. Goddammit!

        1. On top of wimpy defense, ya wonder if an OC will ever tumble to the fact that space favors offense and maybe try some plays to the long side of the field?
          Yah, I know QBs can’t ‘throw across their body’, but maybe they should learn to do so.

      5. My internet isn’t working. Anyone know the score of the Penn State game?

        1. PM Playa; I’ll bet he knows.

          1. Nah…Playa’s internet is always down too.

            1. Playa’s internet is all Dyked up. All he knows is that it might be a Sonny day in Waco.

              1. Hopefully, this season will give berth to something better for the future.

                1. Is the softball coach’s name Berth?

        2. This might not be current, but I think it was an ass raping.

  21. John Kass on Hillary pardon.

    1. She doesn’t need a parden. She will never be charged with anything.

      1. Which is the main reason I hope she gets a pardon. It will cement her guilt in the American consciousness. Otherwise it just becomes a footnote “scandal”.

        1. The Tinpot Dame Scandal.

          1. good one

        2. I am thinking her guilt would be cemented if she went to prison.

          1. That would be fabulous, but I would say highly unlikely.

        3. “Which is the main reason I hope she gets a pardon. It will cement her guilt in the American consciousness. Otherwise it just becomes a footnote “scandal”.”

          I’m pretty certain that losing to Trump will define her ‘legacy’ in history.
          Here’s a D candidate (huge plurality of registered voters), riding a wave of media adulation, sporting a vag, with a smoothly-functioning (bent) machine and SHE LOSES to a blowhard loved by the pathetic likes of SIV.
          The proggies refused to see that train of baggage and therefore assumed no one else *could* see it; what more could history say?

      2. I don’t know. There are still what, 4 active investigations? How many of those are being slow walked until Obama leaves office? If she does get charged, smart play is for Trump to pardon her, but I’d love to see her and Bubba in prison.

        1. “smart play is for Trump to pardon her,”

          After she is convicted.

    2. “Donations to the Clinton Foundation and other family charities dried up. It’s as if those strongmen from questionable nations don’t feel as compelled to donate as they might once have.”

      Nothing to see here.

      1. Right? A true forth estate would be all over that, like stink on Winston’s mom.

        1. Well, I have never smelled Winston’s mom, I have just read that she is a good time for five bucks. But yes, if the foundation taking a hit in donations was headed by someone with an R in front of their name after donations soared while they were sec state and then dropped after losing a Presidential election it would be top news.

    3. “Now that she’s not president-elect, the liberal hysteria over Trump’s election continues. I suppose they need some kind of 12-step program to lure them back to reality.”

      Did someone say back to reality?

  22. Beautiful eunuch, though, with erudite moments in a garden of wisps
    likely never to ejaculate momentum of cognitive supremacy
    or gain kinetic svelte leopard like movements
    of impression or markings slicing into
    the frail political curtains that surround
    this conclave of spirits.

    The American Libertarian has evolved into the fascinating castrated
    boys of screaming vigilance persuasive only to distracted tuxedos watered
    in shimmering liquors and when the political enclaves desire
    word from the hidden canyons where fucking bums, poets, artists, and spaceship designers
    resign their goddamn souls to.

    1. Nobody ever argues with you, Agile. It’s not because you’re never wrong, I just don’t understand WTF you’re talking about.

      1. Denver, coalesce in the shadow of the tallest emotion while you write at least fucking two pages about a rainbow dog panting in your right ear while a large invisible truck revs its unearthly and imagined engines of emotive craftiness in your left ear. This might be a challenge on a monday so I shall cut you slack. All this as a team of asian angels sweep your entire carcass of crumbs and dust and shit you never imagined and only after this cherry bomb of fluky disconcerting variable blues will come the answers from the tree limbed attics of your youth, J.

    1. youtube Jesus tacked balls on a wall shitting pudding into a basket and for this the velveteen hero octoroon gains a full 1/4 of the entire universe to supplant his spurting dick rivers.

  23. Some myths should be dispelled about fucking Gary Johnson and his FUCKING bullshit runs to pretend manage something large.
    Gary Johnson might be delightful and i wish him no harm and likely several handjobs but, brother, you suck. Go away to your ranch and raise space sheep or invest in moon ranches or some shit. Fucking done with you.

    1. Better late than never

  24. Yokels everywhere,
    Donate to Reason now!
    They don’t shit their pants for free.

    1. Haiku have a 5-7-5 pattern.

      1. what about HeroiKu Multispaceship pads? and their burning residue blue zone space radiation blast back on the future craft?

        Janitor of Zentari where the Fuck R we 12 dash 3 dash OH LOOK its the year we alive…

        Fucking bitch is casting his fucking pearls of the future into the past… I will fucking punch his nipples so goddamn hard when I get out of this FUCKING trip…

        back to earth time… peace out, reason loves and in particular the beast my fucking microscopy is training its brain into called the fucking youtube Jesus, I presume

      2. There once was a man from Honshu
        Who confused his limericks with haiku
        The breeze blows softly

      3. Yo kels ev ry waer
        Do na te to rea son now
        Pants shit ting aint free


  25. Which of these versions should be adopted as the new H&R anthem?

    1. goo.gl/4DLHMq
      my vote utra Fushy

  26. reason has a heathen side agile would like to see more of
    because as this fucking earth moves into shallow seas of letters
    the rotation of disturbance is about to smack swing back
    reason has an heathen side agile would like to see more of
    and silence hits the neck of agile and agile screams and his wings
    beat black against the velveteen cloth and
    the agent dragnets of reason beat the fuck out of
    my screaming poltergeists and crows and sliding ninjas

  27. Where is everybody? This is my Friday night, and I’ve got nobody to make bad puns and “you know who else” jokes with. People with a life suck.

    1. You know who else sucked? (And “Winston’s mom” is too easy and doesn’t count).

      1. Anyone who crossed Mr. Garrison in the past?

      2. Denver has a japanese asshole
        and Denver supra j switchback knife knuckle team
        Denver the hapanese asshole man
        Denver the Jenver Dapanese
        wasshole samauri
        a real FUCKING runabout in the town of echoes
        and screams from aliens from space and japanese FUCKING
        karate chop sandwich kitchens
        and goddamn classic sword swings where
        FUCKING denver JAYJAY was a light feng shuay garden
        fucking pile of bird monks sitting in hummingbird
        alignment and then the bird bitches got
        aligned to fucking yoga mats
        and FUCKING denver JAYJAY found his little purple
        birdie super youtube Jesus and then goddamn siv granules
        crept in on the spinning vortex of entrenched realities
        and a picnic of odd gods popped up

    2. Hummingborgs have little giant fists to massage your toes into pulps
      and Supra crows are unleashed into your fucking dreams tonight little man
      i hope your little hippy makes it through
      the picnic of this shit
      because voodoo commas gonna take your tickles
      down in the record store
      off your fuckin couch, nigga silver sword

    3. Scroll down and check out my Longfellow.

      1. you have to scroll up, fushia

        time, it seems, has escaped you

        jesus fuck

    1. links are bear claws that eat my fucking limbs because even as i glom hands and limbs all these lovely thread kings seem to post shit that eats my body parts…. i am bleeding all over my aliveness and my keyboard is haunted with screams and gods and the vaginas of goddesses

    2. That’s not nearly as badass as the Revolutionary War Christmas.

  28. “Building in deadly Oakland fire lacked permits, officials say”
    This has gotten plenty of links already, but for some background:
    Bay area RE is expensive so ad-hoc arrangements like what seemed to be in that warehouse is not rare. In the late ’70s several friends had ‘shacks’ in buildings south of Market St. in SF (now styled as “SoMa”); one in particular was proud of his ‘interior tenting’ to keep the rain from the leaky roof off his stuff.
    Currently, a couple of 4-floor structures in the Mission Creak area of SF are supported by non-profits (our tax dollars); I’ll bet there is some serious ‘examination of conditions’ going on at those as we type. Those of you who live in large urban areas may well know of similar setups.
    I’m trying to provide perspective; in the Bay Area, there are several thousand living in similar circumstances. Nation-wide, who knows.
    Yes, a lot of people died in a ‘un-permitted’ structure and an ‘un-permitted’ party; more’s the shame. Compared to the number who annually die in ‘permitted’ structures and ‘permitted’ parties. Not sure I’d share a lot with the folks who died in that Oaktown building, but my friend Lawrence taught me a LOT about oil painting when he had the tents over his stuff; grounds, transparencies, mixing colors in various mediums…
    You never get away from trade-offs.

    1. Fires of this sort are often set by enforcers, love
      seriously fucking tempestuous rap sevo has going on in his witness
      but raves are despised by sheriffs of the world and sheriffs of the world operate all outside
      every social phenomena from nazi, to progressive, to islamic kingdom, to republican, to orthodox catholic, to downtown ultra rich commie chinese….
      sheriffs have a plan
      and a few warehouses in the odd frustrating districts
      will burn down and kill a bunch of kids
      man, you are all so fucking too stupid to
      get this shit
      even the most free societies are run by the military
      and the massive sheriff threads run top down through every fucking
      county in every fucking state
      yet, the starving post mordems kicked from the old downtone jobs losing families
      and shit
      and unfolding lives from inside the odd streets where alien minds wander
      trust agile- rave warehouse was burnt down from the outside
      no mistake that Fidel died right now either
      get ready…
      all sorts of odd shit about to happen
      law enforcement will get all Salem and get ready…

      1. i am fucking hammered and i apologize for calling my brothers and 1.5 sisters stupid.
        my lovely monster minds are the farthest thing from stupid and for this agile is apology.

    2. I got red tagged in Berkeley.

      Had to live on the roof in a tent for the first week of spring (read: winter) semester.

      And yes, they came for surprise inspections every day to make sure nobody was “there”.

    3. Some of the surviving clods, read perps, were on the Today Show and they didn’t sound like they thought any responsibility was theirs. They mentioned complaints to the landlord about electrical, but they failed to mention any of the lease and zoning violations already mentioned in the LA Times reporting.

      The building was not leased as a residence, yet there is already ample evidence it was being used as a residence.

      No word yet if the landlord allowed raves there, but things like that don’t seem to be an issue for these dicks.

  29. please realize all your fucking
    town cheese is pounded by
    little odd men reveling in svelte guns
    blazing with dreams and knuckles
    formed from old irons
    mostly all melted from tall cathedrals
    and ornate horrors, brother
    and even your little town
    so pat and prim has a neck bone
    connected to thigh bone underneath
    a nuclear bomb
    bro, you getting winking?
    yea, check your fucking naivety
    at the pipes of my heart because
    agile knows the beast underneath
    this thing

  30. every fucking mental basement
    has a trapdoor filled with spaceships
    and only one of them swims with a key
    that is formed in the character of your
    freedom and this key is your fucking
    middle finger to the fucking collapse
    of society and I promise you if you take
    that middle finger and use it like a key
    in the spaceship of your mind you
    will FUCKING fly out of the ultimate
    fucking collapse of this shit society
    when it melts under the gangbang
    of losers getting politically spastic
    on the surgical surface of a goddamn
    marble throwing water at jellyfuck stars

  31. Watch out Donald, Katy Perry is coming for you! She’s tough as nails and her resolve cannot be shaken! She’s not the same type of weakling like some of the other women you’ve dealt with!

    Clinton appeared with Perry earlier this week at the UNICEF Snowflake Ball, where Perry was honored. “I broke down and wept watching her take the stage,” Perry admitted.

    Ahhh, never mind.

    And Snowflake Ball? Hahahahahahahahahah!

    1. Donald should hire lovely Warren for culture god.
      Donald should also hire tons of Reason commenters to run america…
      i would LOVE to live in an America run by Reason commenters…
      FUCK YOU CRUSTY JUGGLER- don’t even comment you whore

      1. FUCK YOU CRUSTY JUGGLER- don’t even comment you whore

        The ultimate callout

  32. under the limbs of this odd world
    thousands of minutes have looked
    into the windows of millions of souls
    and thousands of limbs akimbo have
    arose under the gentle lives of millions
    of minutes of thousands of rainbows
    and millions of earthquakes while hundreds
    of hummingbirds stalked the gardens of
    thousands of dead people before us
    while our dogs sniffed out our tall children
    of today wearing diapers of decades ago
    the language of animals closest to us transcends
    time, brother
    your dog smells time today and decades ago
    his nose holds the key to before and future
    and on our own carpets the beasts of our derision
    may hold the key to genetic trapdoors

  33. your dog not only lives today at this moment
    but dogs exist in time transferable- that is time
    spanning broad contexts
    we live today based on limitations of experiential clusters
    dogs live today and yesterday and a very long yesterday
    dogs are proverbial living chains of times due to their scent
    time is appropriated on connectivity Bertrand Russell dismissed
    as irrelevant because time past is gone and the future is captive
    to your present determined acts…
    this might be so but dogs do not have to understand the future
    they exist as expositions of the very far past and nearest present
    based on SMELL… time to a dog doesn’t exist outside of instinct

  34. your dog is a time envelope
    living next to your decay even
    as her decay is relevant
    but your dog decays even
    as her reality remains unaltered
    and perfectly unrelated to time
    only her timed decay becomes
    the distraction.
    she melts even as her time doesn’t

    dogs might have a worse time coping
    with aging than us humans
    but very few humans give a shit about
    animals, right

    1. Agile,

      Did your dog die? I’m concerned.

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  36. Jill Stein is now taking the Pennsylvania recount fight to federal court. Not sure what kind of federal question she thinks there is. Maybe she just has more lawyer friends who want a cut of the legal-fees portion of the $7M she raised from gullible Hildog supporters?

  37. I think you should talk– rhetorically, mind you– on WASH, SPIN, RINSE, REPEAT cycles

    People complain that government doesn’t do a good job–> politicians remove funding from regulatory agencies–> regulatory agencies fire people and have less personnel to regulate–> appalling tragedy occurs–>people ask why wasn’t this business/pipeline/oil rig/dangerous residence inspected–>people complain that government doesn’t do a good job


    1. Yup, remember the 2015 Gold King Mine waste water spill.

      1. The best part about that one is that if the EPA had followed the same rules that mine operators have been required to follow for the last century (check water level by drilling in from above), the problem would have been prevented.

    2. politicians remove funding from regulatory agencies-

      ROFL! our best one yet, kamerad!

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    Fewer man-boobs, more women’s boobs please. NSFW.

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