Brickbats

Brickbat: Chicken Picking

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chicken nuggets
Shariff Che\' Lah / Dreamstime.com

Tennessee's Farragut High School suspended Carson Koller for one day after he bought six chicken nuggets in the lunch room instead of five. In fact, the lunchroom charged him for three separate lunches when he tried to pay for an extra nugget, but school officials said he stole the nugget. After his mother went public with the punishment, the school rescinded the suspension.

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  1. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

  2. I call fowl on the suspension.

    1. I’m surprised the school district gave up so easily. Authoritarians tend to keep fucking that chicken.

      1. I believe you mean ‘choking the chicken.’

        1. Why not both?

          1. I don’t give a pluck.

            1. Sorry, there was the egg of a pun thread in there, and I fowled it up.

              1. I had to scramble to think of a response.

              2. It was a foghorn conclusion that you would.

                I say, that boy’s so dumb, he thinks a Mexican border pays rent.

                1. ‘tttttthhhh at’s all folks’

                  1. I’m glad that’s over, easy.

    2. Sounds like someone laid an egg.

      And that’s no yolk.

      Shell we stand for this?

      1. I see your a breast of the situation.

        1. These puns make people thigh in frustration.

          1. I should say fruthtrathion.

          2. They tickle me to the gizzard.

            1. All these bad puns – what have we beak-come?

              1. To be honest,I poached a few of these.

                1. That’s a feather in your cap.

                  1. I’m posting these on a wing and a prayer.

                    1. That will put you at the top of the pecking order.

                    2. You don’t have to crow about it.

                    3. You want to be cock of the walk.

                    4. I’, just here looking for chicks.

                    5. You’re a real comedian, like Hen-ny Youngman.

                    6. Chicken Little? I flocked her.

                    7. She’ll do anything for a little scratch.

                    8. you don’t have a leg to stand on…

                    9. you don’t have a leg to stand on…

    3. The authorities need to feather their touch in cases like this instead of coming off the nest.

  3. Go over the calorie allowance, pay the price: fines, detention, exile. [I’m sure there are allowances for frame and height differences.]

    1. ‘The rules of the many out weight the needs of the few’.

      1. So Wookies are from Vulcan now? This is really going to mess up my fanfic.

        1. And both are under siege by the Wraith.

          1. Star Trek XVII: The Wraith of Khan

            1. Spoiler alert: Daniel comes back form the dead and Carter does a nude scene with Crusty.

            2. We streamed Star Trek: Beyond over the weekend and I was surprised how much I ended up liking it. It reminded me a lot of Wrath of Khan, with the crew seemingly overmatched and in an unwinnable situation, but always staying mellow and keeping their senses of humor. Throw in a bit of ‘cavalry to the rescue” at the end, a hot alien chick (played by the toe-knife martial-arts maid from Kingsmen, rrrowr!) and this was the most enjoyable Star Trek for me for a long time. Was I just in a good mood, or was it really a decent entry, reminiscent of some of the better Star Trek entries?

              1. It was a Wrath of Khan remake. Lay off the memberberry wine.

  4. Chicken nuggets? The Wookie does not approve.

    1. The Wookie will soon be displaced.Plus,4 years of Ivanka images.

    1. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.

      1. Trump, when the wall rose.

  5. Now that the election is over, we can get back to the kind of stories that unify us.

    1. Beer,scotch?

      1. Are we not doing Weed, Mexicans, and Ass sex anymore?

        1. Nope. It’s now beer/scotch, Colombians, and blow jobs.

        2. It’s a new order order the disaster of the 2000 comment post.

          1. Yeah, the legalization of gay marriage kind of took the wind out of the ass sex platform.

            It also killed one of my favorite old jokes

            A guy walks into a police station and tells the desk sergeant that that he had anal sex with his wife. So the Sergeant pulls out his papers, and asks him if he’s confessing to committing an unnatural act. And the guy says
            “Hell no, I’m just bragging, I already told my barber, my priest, and my accountant, you were just the next stop on the street.”

            1. I’ve heard a similar joke, except it’s a priest not a cop, it’s an 80-year old Jewish guy, and he’s confessing to having sex with an 18 year old girl.

              “But why are you telling *me* about it?”

              “I’m telling *everyone!*”

              1. So Farmer Johnson comes home one day, and his 16 year old daughter tells him she’s pregnant. Needless to say Johnson was a bit upset. So when asked about the father, she panicked a bit to try avoid a shotgun wedding. And so she said that Old McDonald was the father.

                So the next day the Sheriff, Farmer Johnson, and his pregnant daughter show up at Old McDonald’s house.

                Old McDonald was 70 if he was a day, he was just whittling on his porch when the sheriff rolled up. “Hey this guy said you knocked up his daughter.” And his response was “I didn’t do it, but I will proudly plead guilty,”

                1. “OK, Old McDonald, take a seat over there…”

        3. I would also have accepted red wine,red….wine

          1. But it doesn’t make me feel so fine.

            1. On ice,it’s nice

  6. OT: I see an article link at Drudge talking about “Trump should pardon Assange”.
    I’ve read this idea numerous times in comment section in other places.

    What the hell can Trump pardon? A Swedish rape allegation? I know Obama expanded Presidential Power but I’m sure it hasn’t gone that far.

    1. The allegation is that the Swedish rape allegation is merely a pretext so that Sweden can take him into custody and then extradite him to the US for vigorous investigation over the Wikileaks stuff. IIRC, Assange already had been investigated by a prosecutor who found no grounds for prosecution and a second prosecutor went after him after Assange had left the country, allegedly because if the UK seized him on behalf of Sweden the US could intervene and demand his extradition to the US and the UK would comply while keeping Sweden’s hands clean on the issue. Assange had offered to be questioned at the embassy where he was granted asylum but the prosecutor kept insisting he had to come out and be taken into custody. Assange feared being taken into custody would result in his ass being black-bagged right into Guantanamo and I can’t say that he was just being paranoid.

      1. It’s my vague understanding that Swedish criminal procedure includes an interview with the suspect, and this supposedly has to happen before they decide whether to prosecute. It doesn’t sound particularly fair – if they don’t have enough evidence absent the interview, that would suggest that they’re waiting for a chance to get him to incriminate himself before they clear him. But I could be wrong about all this.

        1. That’s one way of looking at it. But the reason for the rule could also be to protect the accused, ie., “no person shall be charged before he has a chance to state his case in an interview”.

          Looks like one of those double-edged swords.

          1. To the extent the interview procedure is in place to protect the suspect’s rights, then you’d think Assange could waive his rights – “it’s OK, you can make your decision without interviewing me.”

            Although I understand he’s offering an interview at the embassy.

            1. Which leads me to think that it’s about more than the suspect’s rights.

              Eg, it’s a chance for the cops to trip the suspect up by (for example) asking him if he was ever at such and such a place, and he denies it, but they have evidence he *was* there – so now they can argue that he’s hiding his guilt.

      2. Jersey.
        Thanks for the explanation, but I think the US would need to formally charge him with a crime before they can initiate extradition requests.
        Maybe a lawyer can chime in.

        1. Does anybody know if there is currently an extradition request filed with either Sweden or England regarding Assange?

          1. FWIW, a biased view of the issue you can skim.

            It’s not too difficult to imagine a secret sealed indictment for Assange regarding “national security” issues.

    2. A 3D chess move would be to announce a broad amnesty in national security cases – pardon Snowden *and* the national security guy who lied about the surveillance, pardon Hillary *and* the people who were actually convicted for doing what she did.

      I’m not saying Trump would actually do that, since I think he’s really too establishmentarian for that.

      1. Unpossible.

        State, Military, and Intelligence would go apeshit. That would be way too vague

        1. I’m not saying it would happen, I’m actually saying it probably won’t.

          1. You seriously don’t see Trump issuing a blanket pardon for his good friend Hillary on the grounds of healing the nation and putting this all behind us – a “reset button” if you will – a la Ford pardoning Nixon? This assuming Obama doesn’t already have the paperwork drawn up? I can totally see Trump doing this, stupidly thinking it might buy him some brownie points with the left by demonstrating his good intent rather than enraging them by suggesting Saint Hillary has ever in her life done anything that would merit her needing forgiveness.

            1. I was talking about an amnesty for offenders *including* the people who did what Hillary did.

              Sure, a Hillary-only pardon would be just the sort of thing he might do.

              As I keep reminding my prog friends, he’s a New York Democrat – even if he weren’t an old friend of the Clintons, he’d still be inclined to make deals with his former party associates.

              Presumably, of course, he would demand something in return. I would like to credit him with at least that much negotiating skill.

              Maybe a get-out-of-jail-free card he could redeem next time he or one of his associates gets in trouble?

  7. After his mother went public with the punishment, the school rescinded the suspension.

    That is just being a bad bureaucrat. When caught doing the stupid, always double down.

    1. Unless the person protesting is influential, in which case appease them without setting a precedent which will interfere with the way your treat the less-influential.

    2. It’s a little metaphor for dealing with the government. If you get caught making a mistake, you’re bent over and fucked bigtime. If it turns out they were the ones who made the mistake, oh well nevermind then.

    3. Reversing your decision means you did the wrong thing. Doubling down means you were just enforcing a policy.

  8. I would try to charge the school with theft for overcharging him, if I was the parents.

  9. I really love chicken days…

  10. I’m trying to figure out what really happened there, but clearly there’s a climate of suspicion about the students, or maybe something against this particular student. Was the cashier, realizing belatedly that the student had been overcharged, trying to hide hir own fuckup by signaling a lunchroom admin that the student had cheated on the bill?

  11. until I looked at the paycheck saying $4730 , I did not believe that…my… brother woz like actualy bringing in money part time from there computar. . there friend brother started doing this for less than 7 months and resently paid for the morgage on there home and bought a new Cadillac …….

    …….. http://www.jobprofit9.com

  12. until I looked at the paycheck saying $4730 , I did not believe that…my… brother woz like actualy bringing in money part time from there computar. . there friend brother started doing this for less than 7 months and resently paid for the morgage on there home and bought a new Cadillac …….

    …….. http://www.jobprofit9.com

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