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A.M. Links: Obama Meets Trump at White House, Thousands of Anti-Trump Protesters Hit the Streets

Damon Root | 11.10.2016 9:00 AM

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  • White House / Flickr.com

    President Barack Obama will host President-elect Donald Trump at the White House today.

  • Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.
  • "Russia said it was in contact with President-elect Donald Trump's team during the U.S. election campaign, despite repeated denials by the Republican candidate's advisers that any links existed."
  • A hand grenade attack outside the French embassy in Athens, Greece, has left one police officer injured.
  • Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges.
  • "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

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NEXT: Colleges Canceled Exams for Students Traumatized by Trump's Election

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    President Barack Obama will host President-elect Donald Trump at the White House today.

    Did I use the beer summit joke yet?

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      Obama drinking alone. Unless it's a fizzy water summit.

      1. Juice   9 years ago

        Since Donald doesn't drink alcohol it'll be a coke summit.

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          Off the ass of a dead hooker?

          1. jester   9 years ago

            I bought that t-shirt too.

          2. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

            It's not that big of a libertarian moment.

            1. JadeWheeler   9 years ago

              I Make up to $90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $70h to $86h?Go this website and click tech tab to start your work? Visit this web? http://www.Trends88.Com

              1. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

                I clipped my toenails last night.

    2. Rasilio   9 years ago

      So did he grab Micheele or Valerie by the Pussy?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        His hat encouraged him to do that, but his hair stopped it. Or maybe the other way around.

        1. Zero Sum Game   9 years ago

          I think it's the other way around. IIRC, the hair is the personality that is most mercurial. The hat tries to help Donald keep it together, but isn't doing very well.

      2. BigT   9 years ago

        He grabbed the Wookie and she broke his small hand off.

        1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

          Did she use her hands to break his pathetic human hand off? Or some other wookie part to do it?

          1. BigT   9 years ago

            She reached for Johnson but was disappointed to find it was a Trump-stump.

        2. Zero Sum Game   9 years ago

          Droids don't rip your arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookies are known to do that.

    3. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Hello.

      Well, I guess I wasn't immune from the unhinged screeds of progs freaking out about Trump. My friend from Boston went off on all the FB/prog angry rants - racist, misogynist etc. - and through in a 'I want evidence about Hillary being crooked' and nice little bigoted slur hurled my way - which stunned me.

      I asked him to clarify. But at this point, I don't know what to make of all this irrational reaction.

      We'll see.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        I'm just glad I didn't come to the office yesterday. Fellow attorney "took the day off" to "grieve" in her office. While at the same time, assistant of another attorney gleefully whooped it up at her desk. I was in court all day, so I couldn't witness the salty ham tears in person.

        1. RBS   9 years ago

          I wasted way too much time on it. It took me like 3 hours to draft a letter.

        2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

          Fellow attorney "took the day off" to "grieve" in her office.

          Just slightly unprofessional

          1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

            You think? It brings her down a notch or more in my estimation. I was disappointed when the Great One was elected, but I am sure I went to work/school, etc on that very same day.

            1. RBS   9 years ago

              Judge: Objection sustained!
              Elspeth's Coworker: I need some time to grieve your honor.

              1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

                Speaking of which (court): I had my first not guilty verdict after a jury trial yesterday. This means I am 1 for 2 for jury trials. It was a good good feeling, wish that I could bottle it.

                1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

                  Congratulations

                2. RBS   9 years ago

                  Congratulations! I've never had a jury trial (pretty much everything I do is non-jury) but it always feels good to get a verdict in your favor. Losing also sucks. I lost my last trial. It was in the next county over so I spent the two hour drive back to the office thinking of shit I should have done differently.

                  1. Sevo   9 years ago

                    "...thinking of shit I should have done differently...."

                    No matter what you're paid to do, when it doesn't work, you do this.

                    1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

                      I went over in my mind last night (even though I won!) the objections I missed (at least one), and how else I could have done a closing statement.

                    2. MarkLastname   9 years ago

                      Things you could've done differently: sprinkle some coke on the defendant when no one is looking, then you've got him nailed for possession.

                3. tarran   9 years ago

                  Congrats. Soon you'll be a regular Rumpole of the Bailey.

                  1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

                    I love that series. It surprises me how much Rumpole is like real life: when the jury came in, the jurors made eye contact with me. According to Rumpole, that's a good sign. Last time: no eye contact before the guilty verdict.

                4. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

                  So fun story, 20 years ago I got busted for trying to float a check. I spent a a half hour in jail before paying off the all the fees. It now makes me ineligible to serve on jury duty, since I was technically busted for stealing,

                5. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

                  And you didn't get tased at the end, right? Congratulations!

              2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

                "I strenuously object!"

          2. Brett L   9 years ago

            Eh. My productivity between lack of sleep, shadenfraude, and crack-addled rat levels of clicking was not zero, but not at the level they pay me for.

          3. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

            She only billed eight hours on Wednesday.

        3. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          To 'collect their thoughts' I'm hearing.

          This I will add to my 'things that prove we're in a dark age' list.

          1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

            You'd think it would take *less* time for these people to collect their thoughts than normal people.

            1. Raven Nation   9 years ago

              Well, the thoughts tended to be scattered and are usually unconnected to each other so it probably takes time to collect some of them from their cerebral back 40.

              1. Free Society   9 years ago

                I think that's an accurate way to look at it. Having basically no ability to systematize their thoughts leaves them unable to ferret out basic inconsistencies and fallacies.

        4. Chipwooder   9 years ago

          I took a day off from work to grieve once. It was when my uncle, who I lived with for several years and considered my mentor, died after wasting away for a year with liver cancer and I went to his funeral. Went back to work the next day.

          Fuck these fucking people. They make me sick to my stomach,

          1. Paloma   9 years ago

            I get taking a day off to grieve if someone in your family died or was diagnosed with an illness like cancer. I can even understand taking a day off if your spouse wants to leave you for someone else. But because your candidate lost the election? You really have a charmed life. THAT, my friends, is privilege.

      2. WTF   9 years ago

        I have a couple of proggie friends who have become completely unhinged as well, and they are otherwise fairly intelligent. It really is disturbing.

        1. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

          The more I hear about and actually see things like this, the less I believe that these people are "otherwise fairly intelligent".

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            They actually are, they just live in a bubble and accept DNC talking points without question. While they are capable of logic and analysis related to their jobs, this rationality seems to just get switched off when it comes to politics, then it's all about the feels.

            1. jester   9 years ago

              It's all about the inner-Neanderthal.

            2. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

              The thing that's ironic about this is that the left is supposed to "question authority," unless it's their own side's authority; they are also supposed to support democracy (unless using the democratic process elects someone they don't like, apparently); to have "room at the table" for many voices (again, unless it's voices that say what they don't like to hear); and to tolerate other minorities (except political minorities, ie., again, not one of their own).

              1. Free Society   9 years ago

                They don't tolerate someone like Clarence Thomas. They routinely call him an Uncle Tom, which in my book is more damaging to blacks than being called nigger thirty thousand times. 'Nigger' is just a base insult, 'Uncle Tom' is packed with meanings like "race traitor" and collective consciousness blah blah blah and serves to suppress black academic and economic achievement with social pressure.

                1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

                  People need to start asking white people who use "Uncle Tom" if they have the relevant identity experience to be able/allowed to use such a phrase.

                  How can they adequately understand the true meaning of what they're saying if they don't understand what it's like to be the victim of an "Uncle Tom"?

                  1. MarkLastname   9 years ago

                    That reminds me, we need to start calling male feminists Uncle Kyles.

            3. $park? is totally a Swifty   9 years ago

              That seems more like savant behavior than anything else. Or autism.

        2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

          I've been experiencing this too - people who I consider nice, rational people are suddenly crazy as hell. I guess rhetoric can whip the masses up (Hitler alert!).

          1. Echo Chamber   9 years ago

            Having your protective intellectual bubble popped within your echo chamber hurts. Believe me

            1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

              You should know.

          2. SFC B   9 years ago

            I am a bad person and have been replying to many of them with "As a wise philosopher once said: Elections have consequences."

          3. SFC B   9 years ago

            I am a bad person and have been replying to many of them with "As a wise philosopher once said: Elections have consequences."

        3. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

          My proggie friends have become unhinged, too.

          They're posting outrage porn like "Joe Arpaio for DHS, Patrick McCrory for EEOC" and how the only reason that the Democrats lost is because of racists and not because of Democrats (fire the voters!) and they'll unfollow anyone who disagrees.

      3. BigT   9 years ago

        nice little bigoted slur hurled my way - which stunned me

        Certainly you have heard much worse from HnR commentariat. I am disappointed that you haven't been hardened to the slings and arrows of FB. Maybe you need more toughening up, you hockey puck.

        1. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

          Wait... bigoted against Canucks? Who would want to hate on you maple-slurping moose jockeys? Talk about punching down.

        2. Cyto   9 years ago

          Facebook friends are usually real friends.

          But HnR? Heck, half of the people here aren't even real people.

          1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

            Sock puppet lives matter

          2. bacon-magic   9 years ago

            ^Tulpa

            1. Free Society   9 years ago

              Mary^

              1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                ^Weigel

        3. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          When someone strenuously goes on about how smart they are and then pulls that it's a little destabilizing shall we say? Didn't expect it but...it's true. Scratch a prog find a smug, bigoted, hypocritical, authoritarian asshole.

      4. tarran   9 years ago

        Still getting the silent treatment at work.

        My proggie high school classmates are angrily denouncing anyone who dares to point out that anyone other than Hillary would have won as being hatemongers.

        Who would have though that saying people in flyover country aren't inbred morons outed one as a hateful bigot.

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          Democrats can not be bigots. You hateful, bigoted shitlord.

        2. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

          My proggie high school classmates are angrily denouncing anyone who dares to point out that anyone other than Hillary would have won as being hatemongers.

          I've been getting the "nuh-uh, it's white resentment" canard thrown my way. They really don't like it when you point out that Biden or Bernie would have wiped the floor with Trump and that Hillary was a shitty candidate.

        3. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

          anyone other than Hillary would have won

          Not so sure of that. If it's any balm to butthurt Demoaners, running in Obama's party on Obama's heels after eight years of Obama would have been an uphill battle for anyone. Hillary was uniquely flawed, but she was running against a uniquely awful candidate.

        4. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

          I made a mistake at work on November 8. Here's what happened:

          I told a colleague that I was voting for the incumbent R candidate for House (no LP running) because HRC was most likely winning the White House, and she needed to be kept in check.

          He replied that the R needed to be replaced with a D because SCOTUS. I pointed out that the Senate deals with SCOTUS, not the House. (Yup, I'm the immigrant, he's native born.)

          To which he said the D would bring in "lower college costs" for his kids. I pointed out that tuition inflation was being driven by easy loans, like the subprime bubble. I also said that free markets in education work, and I have personal experience with socialism in India.

          His response? "You lived in *corrupt* socialism. There is good socialism."

          LOL. These people are poorly informed, emotional, well-intentioned creatures.

          And the day after the election, I got TOTAL silent treatment from him. He thinks I'm a Trump voter, which I'm not.

          1. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

            Even if you were, what a blinkered, rotten worldview one must have to prioritize national politics over personal relationships. Ideological differences would be one thing--a genuine devotion to Che Guevara would turn me off wanting anything to do with a person, for example. Making your civility toward others contingent on how they voted? Stupid.

            Then again, it sounds like you benefit from his silent treatment. Maybe he'll keep it up.

          2. RT   9 years ago

            "There is good socialism." If only the right Top Men were in charge!

          3. kbolino   9 years ago

            Yes, and in that "good socialism", his precious snowflake would be told to go a trade school because there aren't enough slots in "free" college.

            But hey, it's the good kind!

          4. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

            His response? "You lived in *corrupt* socialism. There is good socialism."

            What a crock of derogatory shit. So because India is full of brown people, it's automatically corrupt? You should have got in his face about it. These assholes need to get a taste of their own medicine for once.

            Tell him you know an immigrant from Scandinavia (me) who agrees with you. Let's see if he'll call white countries "corrupt" as well.

          5. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

            His response? "You lived in *corrupt* non-white socialism. There is good white socialism."

            FTFYC

          6. MarkLastname   9 years ago

            Incidentally the only Trump supporter I know is Indian. Trump does remind he of Modi in some ways.

        5. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

          There is no hate so pure as the hate that a progressive directs at a person deemed to be a hatemonger.

          It's all projection. Progressives understand pure hate because they feel it toward their political opponents. Many progressives assume that their political opponents have pure hate as well but, since their opponents are not politically correct, their hate is directed to another race, religion, or cultural identity. Progressive political and media demagogues exploit this tendency of progressives to project their hate on the intentions of political opponents. It's a vicious circle.

          1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

            ^this

          2. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

            Well stated. Extremely so.

          3. AlexInCT   9 years ago

            They don't just project their own biases and hatreds: they also project their criminal behavior and bad actions on others. If they are doing it for a good cause - after all, the ends justify the means - the enemy is doing it for evil ones...

      5. C. S. P. Schofield   9 years ago

        Classic Democrat reaction to losing when they were sure of their moral superiority. Keep in mind, the protests after the 1860 elections ended up causing over there quarters of a million deaths.

        1. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

          But were they blocking up freeway onramps? Let's try to keep some perspective here.

          1. To: Trshmnstr From: Hrod [C]   9 years ago

            Of course not, they didn't even have guns with the things that go up!

        2. Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)   9 years ago

          Nah, that was the Rethuglican counter-protests that caused the deaths. (Gotta live up to the name 😉 )

        3. MarkLastname   9 years ago

          Uh oh! Is anyone watching Sort Sumter in case they that shit again?

  2. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

    I just hope this election doesn't start making people crazy.

    1. Echo Chamber   9 years ago

      Protests were underway in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles & Oakland, Philadelphia, Boston, Washington, D.C., Portland, Ore., St. Paul, Minn., and Seattle.
      Let's see, how did those states vote? Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, Trump, Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, Clinton. 100% of the EC in those places went for Clinton 7-1.
      So these protesters are protesting the outrage at all the Trump supporters whose voices were silenced in their state by the winner-take-all EC?

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        It's mostly just an excuse to stay up late and publicly yell "Fuck!" with impunity.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          It's not like they have jobs to go to in the morning.

        2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          Dang, I do that at the TV just about every hockey game I watch...

          1. bacon-magic   9 years ago

            Go Blues! Until the playoffs...

        3. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          Being a constitutional originalist, I have the 1st Amendment for that.

          1. Rich   9 years ago

            Ah, but *this* is HATE SPEECH!

          2. Rich   9 years ago

            Ah, but *this* is HATE SPEECH!

            1. Rich   9 years ago

              FUCK SQUIRRELS!

              1. FreeToFear   9 years ago

                The authorities have been made aware of your hateful implications of squirrel congress. The ASPCA does not take kindly to your hate speech!

              2. jester   9 years ago

                Ground squirrels?
                Flying squirrels?
                Tree squirrels?
                Pygmy squirrels?
                Giant squirrels?
                Certainly not all of them. I hope.

              3. BigT   9 years ago

                Beastiality is not cool. One needs consent, and a squirrel has a tough time giving consent. And is of course a tough nut to crack.

                1. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

                  Dan Savage said in his column that it's wrong to have sex with a dog because it cannot give consent. So I wrote to him saying that if the dog is humping your leg, that is clearly consent. He didn't write back.

                  1. BigT   9 years ago

                    Dog humping your leg is consent only for him to be on top.

              4. jarflax   9 years ago

                The squirrels understand that the answer to hate speech is more speech.

      2. Chipwooder   9 years ago

        There was one in Richmond VA last night too. Fuckers blocked off I-95. Pissed me right the fuck off.

        1. Rich   9 years ago

          "One of these days, Alice ...."

      3. JWatts   9 years ago

        These posters were whiny children who aren't protesting a specific action. Instead they are just protesting the fact that reality disagreed with their notions of how the world works and that the other guy won.

        1. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

          Pretty much. These are people who have been raised on the idea that real life is just like the movies, which not coincidentally are made by other people who happen to think just like they do.

          My wife was binge watching that shitty show Scandal on Netflix and it struck me that this was basically a social elite political fantasy--be able to act as corrupt, violent, and deceitful as you want and never be held accountable for your actions because some deus ex machina always steps in at the end to make sure you win. Your virtue is measured by your political victories, not your actions. Milennials in particular eat this shit up because they tend to have a dull, stunted, childish view of the world.

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Your wife needs to check out HBO's political documentary series, Veep.

            1. BigT   9 years ago

              And House of Cards, although they aren't as evil as the Clintons.

          2. MarkLastname   9 years ago

            I watched one episode of scandal and couldn't stand it. The main character is basically Mark Harmon from NCIS. Everything she does is right, and her 'gut' is omniscient. The show also is more openly anti-Republican than any I've come across yet; one of the good guys literally muttered "I hate Republicans" in the first few minutes of the first episode, and the Republican in question turned out to be gay of course. Pretty on the nose.

      4. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        Michigan's surprise is that only 8/83 counties stayed blue, the others were all red. I never thought Michigan in my lifetime would do that.

    2. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

      Winter is coming, they won't be protesting that much longer.

      1. NuckenFutz   9 years ago

        Derps on ice

    3. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      I am in Chicago for business and am staying 3-4 blocks from Trump Tower. Last night after work, I left the office and went out for a few drinks and dinner with a coworker in the North Loop and didn't notice anything at all. When I called my wife, she asked me if I was safe. She had been watching CNN and their coverage of the massive protest in Chicago.

      Interested in what was going on, I walked over there. The police were surrounding Trump Tower, but the only place any real number of protesters were gathered was on the bridge going over the river. And then it was only on half the bridge. And only from the sidewalk on Wacker drive up to where the hinge of the bridge was. I'd guess it was 200-300 people jammed into that small area. The rest of the street was pretty sparsely populated with curious onlookers like myself.

      At one point a few hundred other people marched up and started playing some song that - based on the lyrics - I am guessing is named "fuck trump". They made a half hearted attempt to push by the police line on the bridge. When that failed, they turned around and marched off. That is when I went back to the hotel to get some sleep.

      Both sides were pretty restrained. The cops were mostly just sitting there. They didn't do anything stupid. The protesters were noisy and stupid, but they weren't violent.

      1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        Some observations:

        * The entirety of their position seemed to be the phrase "Fuck Trump"
        * Other than a few cute lesbian couples, it was a pretty homely crowd. Mostly young hipsters.
        * There were a LOT of very ugly women who seemed pretty put out that Trump would keep them from getting an abortion. First things first, is what I thought. Who is going to get you pregnant? Their looks pretty much preclude the need for an abortion in the future (but who knows what gets hipster beta males turned on?).
        * As a fat old white guy wearing a sport coat, I sure wasn't worried that I was witnessing the start of the REVOLUTION that will end with me up against a wall.
        * Very disappointed to learn that the "massive" protest I saw on CNN turned out to be a bunch of dorks playing at being heroic protesters manning the barricades.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          There were a LOT of very ugly women

          Pics?

          1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

            I have video Crusty. But since I see you haven't tithed for a while, I guess you won't be seeing them. They are only for members of the Church in good standing

            1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

              I heard that Crusty "tithe" at least twice a day in the womens' restroom.

        2. Echo Chamber   9 years ago

          who seemed pretty put out that Trump would never grab them by the pussy.
          FTFY

        3. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          That's pretty much what a protest looks like, Holiness. If the media likes the protests, a few hundred people become "thousands across the nation" or thirty people on City Hall steps becomes "unexpectedly massive turn-out". If the media doesn't like the protests, 1500 become "a dwindling effort".

          As long as no one does anything stupid, I doubt these little street marches will do anything, except give the journalists covering it a reason to yell to their readers what hell has been unleashed as a consequence of our not voting for Clinton.

        4. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

          Who is going to get you pregnant?

          Black dudes. I can't believe the chicks that black dudes are with on the bus.

      2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Don't ruin the narrative with your facts!

    4. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

      The 2016 election cycle has been making people crazy since around 2013. How else can you explain the nominations of Trump and Clinton?

    5. C. S. P. Schofield   9 years ago

      Start? Start?

  3. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    255) It's only getting better! Now that Trump is president, Earth's destruction by global warming is far more likely!

    That's right, "the future of humanity?and all the species we share this planet with?is much more murky now than it was 24 hours ago." Why? Because the United States will likely pull out of the useless Paris Agreement.

    I think this is my favorite line: "[Trump's] word can become law with very few barriers." All hail Emperor Trump!

    If I'd known how much fun this would be, I think I would have been more eager to see Trump as president all along.

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      "[Trump's] word can become law with very few barriers."

      If only we had had some resistance to that idea over the last 8 years.

      1. Echo Chamber   9 years ago

        Payback is a bitch

    2. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

      There's a wonderful equation between presidents and King Canute.

      1. Mr Drew   9 years ago

        +1 rising tide

    3. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

      So, we've got that going for us.

      1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        Has anybody tried whipping it? I hear that works wonders.

        1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

          when a problem comes along, you must whip it /devo

    4. Glide   9 years ago

      I thought one of the most out-of-nowhere profound lines in the Republican debates was Rubio snarking about climate change, "America is not a planet!"

      To the extent that climate changes in the future, it will be based on China first, India second, and then mayyyybe the U.S. Trump has sway over only a tiny fraction of the U.S. impact, given the amount of energy consumed in ways that will never be influenced by the government.

    5. Joe M   9 years ago

      Seriously, all my expectations for freakouts have been completely surpassed, and we're only two days into it.

  4. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    255) It's only getting better! Now that Trump is president, Earth's destruction by global warming is far more likely!

    That's right, "the future of humanity?and all the species we share this planet with?is much more murky now than it was 24 hours ago." Why? Because the United States will likely pull out of the useless Paris Agreement.

    I think this is my favorite line: "[Trump's] word can become law with very few barriers." All hail Emperor Trump!

    If I'd known how much fun this would be, I think I would have been more eager to see Trump as president all along.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Okay, not that much better!

  5. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    255) It's only getting better! Now that Trump is president, Earth's destruction by global warming is far more likely!

    That's right, "the future of humanity?and all the species we share this planet with?is much more murky now than it was 24 hours ago." Why? Because the United States will likely pull out of the useless Paris Agreement.

    I think this is my favorite line: "[Trump's] word can become law with very few barriers." All hail Emperor Trump!

    If I'd known how much fun this would be, I think I would have been more eager to see Trump as president all along.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      GODDAMNIT SQUIRRELZ

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      *hovers over 'report spam' link*

      Triple posts are unforgivable.

      *can't be arsed to click*

      1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        But I can use this to increment the JATNAS counter three times, right?

        1. pan fried wylie   9 years ago

          Implement the counter in the same framework they use for the comments and you could get 9, maybe 15 increments per thought.

    3. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      If Trump emboldening the Alt-Right wasn't enough, his election has also emboldened THE SQUIRRELS!!

    4. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      If Trump emboldening the Alt-Right wasn't enough, his election has also emboldened THE SQUIRRELS!!

    5. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      If Trump emboldening the Alt-Right wasn't enough, his election has also emboldened THE SQUIRRELS!!

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        You did that on purpose.

  6. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    President Barack Obama will host President-elect Donald Trump at the White House today.

    A beer summit serving Modelo would be excellent.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      Trump is the most interesting man in the world. XX

      1. jester   9 years ago

        Will he wear his chupacabra-leather boots?

    2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      *applause*

  7. BigT   9 years ago

    Meet the Trump cabinet. See anyone you know who doesn't seem to fit in? LINK

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Beyonce?

      *** ducks ***

    2. RBS   9 years ago

      Putting Palin anywhere in the administration will make proggie heads explode. I think Secretary of Education would would troll them the hardest.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        You betcha!

      2. JWatts   9 years ago

        "I think Secretary of Education would would troll them the hardest."

        That's a horrible idea. But the idea of the Left's reaction to it, makes it almost worthwhile. Can you imagine the outrage from the bureaucrats at the Department having to report to Secretary Palin?

        1. Zombie Jimbo   9 years ago

          Plain for Interior, EPA or DOE.

          1. Zombie Jimbo   9 years ago

            dammit Palin not plain

          2. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

            Palin at Interior would actually make sense. As governor of Alaska, I'm sure she had a lot of experience in dealing with that department.

            Palin at DoE would be great if Trump were to announce his intention to shut this useless agency down.

            Palin at EPA would be great just for the progressive wailing and gnashing of teeth.

      3. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        I'm thinking Bolton as Secretary of State would probably be one of the greatest trolls available.

        1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

          please no....

        2. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

          I really hope that doesn't happen. Bolton's a complete dead-ender who never met a country he didn't want to bomb. At least Palin's got some executive experience and that would piss off the bureaucrats in Education or Interior without doing much in the way of real damage.

        3. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

          Please. Everyone knows he's a no-talent ass clown.

      4. jester   9 years ago

        Joe Arpaio is looking for a job. [i know, I know. Don't give em any ideas]

        1. thom   9 years ago

          I think a position might be opening up over at the FBI...

        2. Get To Da Chippah   9 years ago

          Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

        3. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

          "Sources" say they've been talking about it...

    3. Brett L   9 years ago

      Not to worry, they put the questionable ones on the edge where they can be easily ret-conned Soviet style.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    "Russia said it was in contact with President-elect Donald Trump's team during the U.S. election campaign, despite repeated denials by the Republican candidate's advisers that any links existed."

    Who are you going to believe? The Russkies or your next president?

    1. JWatts   9 years ago

      If you click the link the Russians claimed to have contacted both campaigns.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Hey, the FBI also said they found no links between Trump's campaign and the Russians, and you can count on the FBI to do a thorough,...oh, wait...

  9. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

    "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

    Excellent, so we can save taxpayer money subsidizing monkey wheelchairs.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      "Subsidized Monkey Wheelchairs"

      That just HAS to be on a label somewhere in Japan.

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        It's my new band. We do Nairobi Trio covers.

        1. Animal   9 years ago

          +1 Solfeggio

        2. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

          *googles*

          So racist.

  10. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

    "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

    😀

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      That's where the Clinton Crime Family Foundation money is going - so Hillary can walk on her own.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        Mein Fuhrer!

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          +1 Mineshaft gap

          1. Rich   9 years ago

            For the uninitiated -- Please watch the film "Doctor Strangelove". It's a documentary about the Cold War that is increasingly applicable to our modern world.

    2. SimonD   9 years ago

      The six-million dollar ape HAS to be next. Please let it be next.

      1. jester   9 years ago

        Planet of the Six-Million Dollar Apes (coming to a theater near you!)

        1. Lord Rollingpin   9 years ago

          Hollywood, hire this man now!

      2. Slumbrew   9 years ago

        I think I feel a handle change coming on

  11. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    And just look at all these people respecting the outcome of a democratic election! It's like three-year-olds throwing a temper tantrum!

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      I have it on good authority that refusing to accept the results of the election amounts to treason. WaPo told me this repeatedly just last month.

    2. SimonD   9 years ago

      If my calcified neurons are digging up the memories correctly, weren't there a lot of protests when President Bush won in 2000 (and 2004).

      The tantrums seem to be a pretty consistent feature of the lefties not getting what they want.

    3. juris imprudent   9 years ago

      [screaming at the top of lungs out of tear, snot and drool covered faces] IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN WE DO IT

      /progdom

  12. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    I like to make my deliveries fresh... (I sense a business opportunity)

    Mom claims sperm smoothies boost her immunity

    A single mom of two claims she beats the flu by drinking sperm smoothies.

    Tracy Kiss, 29, from Buckinghamshire, puts a spoonful of her best friend's donated semen into her drink every morning in a bid to boost her immunity.

    The personal trainer, who is mom to Millicent, 9, and 4-year-old Gabriele, has previously advocated using sperm as a facial ointment.

    On her bizarre beverage concoction, she said: "I'd been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I'm full of beans and my mood has improved.

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      but now I'm full of beans

      On both ends?

    2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "but now I'm full of beans"

      That's not what you're full of now, lady.

    3. Rich   9 years ago

      "It can taste really good? depending on what my friend has been eating."

      Do tell ....

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        My wife claims (and my daughter confirms) that jizz tastes better if I've been eating pineapple and worse if I've been drinking beer.

        1. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

          Um, what.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            He got into the OMWC character for a second. OR MAYBE IT IS NOT A CHARACTER.

            1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

              Hey, you cover one end of the age spectrum, I cover the other. NO JUDGING.

        2. Lee Genes   9 years ago

          Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy

        3. BigT   9 years ago

          My wife claims (and my daughter confirms) that jizz tastes better if I've been eating pineapple and worse if I've been drinking beer.

          Dude, your daughter? Even OMWC might disapprove, but probably not Crusty.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            His daughter likes pineapple-infused splooge - I don't see the big issue.

          2. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

            Hey, she's 30!

          3. Mr Drew   9 years ago

            daughter confirms) that jizz tastes better if *******I've******* been eating

            I'm just gonna pretend that this didn't happen

        4. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

          *takes a big step back*

        5. OneOut   9 years ago

          Are you sure your post came out the way you intended ?

          Your daughter confirms ?

        6. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

          Then mine must taste terrible.

        7. bacon-magic   9 years ago

          I've

          WTF. Keeping it all in the family?

        8. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

          I, uh..ok.

        9. MarkLastname   9 years ago

          But what does your sister think of the taste?

    4. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

      Full of beans? No, hun, that's not what you are full of.
      side note: Reminds me of a Benny Hill sketch.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        Shoot, should have clicked the refresh!

    5. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

      Hahahaha, the picture and then the text underneath:

      "A woman pouring milk into a glass."

    6. Tom Bombadil   9 years ago

      This jizzn't making any sense.

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        Oh, cum cum now!

        1. To: Trshmnstr From: Hrod [C]   9 years ago

          There must be an exsploogenation.

    7. Chipwooder   9 years ago

      you know, its effects decline every second it's exposed to air, so it's best to get it straight from the source.

    8. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

      The personal trainer, who is mom to Millicent, 9, and 4-year-old Gabriele, has previously advocated using sperm as a facial ointment.

      Is that why porn stars have such glowing, healthy skin?

    9. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

      Tracy Kiss, 29, from Buckinghamshire, puts a spoonful of her best friend's donated semen into her drink every morning in a bid to boost her immunity.

      That's demanding a lot from a friend.

    10. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

      Video of her Here

    11. Half-Virtue, Half-Vice   9 years ago

      Omg she's a babe too.

    12. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

      I'd really to think Millicent & Gabriele aren't forced to partake in their mother's...immunity boosting regime (see: fetish).

  13. Citizen X   9 years ago

    "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

    I, for one, welcome our new cybermonkey overlords.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Didn't Cybermonkey Overlords play Lollapalooza last year?

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        I dunno. Their debut album on Hospital Records is pretty good, though.

  14. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges.

    But not cleared of being a male cougar. Rowrrrr.

    1. Tom Bombadil   9 years ago

      Good. Now has anyone been charged with slander?

      1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

        He married Angelina Jolie. He's guilty of sticking his dick in crazy,

        1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

          Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

          1. jester   9 years ago

            ...and not pulling out.

          2. juris imprudent   9 years ago

            Let he who is without sin bust the first nut.

  15. Rich   9 years ago

    Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

    Pro-Trump and anti-Hillary protests broke out last night in multiple rural areas, including Dogpatch, Podunk, and Hooterville.

    1. SimonD   9 years ago

      I live in Dogpatch. It wasn't a protest, it was quarter beer night at the Back Forty.

  16. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    A hand grenade attack outside the French embassy in Athens, Greece, has left one police officer injured.

    Their second amendment must be much more comprehensive than ours.

    1. some guy   9 years ago

      Ours only covers ursine appendages and castles.

      1. pan fried wylie   9 years ago

        *geologically sourced fortifications.

  17. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

    Very bad news for all of America's Obama mommas: Canadia doesn't want your worthless dumb asses anymore.

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      You have a retarded toddler's love of senseless word-noise.

      1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

        I guess your application already got rejected and they told you to stay home. Smart by them, unfortunate for us.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Never change, Mikey. Except for your diaper - that definitely needs a refresh.

  18. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    "Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges."

    So he was falsely charged? I wonder if this changes anybody's perception of the charges against Woody Allen?

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      "Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges."

      See? The woman-hating misogyny has started already!

  19. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Mom claims sperm smoothies boost her immunity

    Tracy Kiss, 29, from Buckinghamshire, puts a spoonful of her best friend's donated semen into her drink every morning in a bid to boost her immunity.

    The personal trainer, who is mom to Millicent, 9, and 4-year-old Gabriele, has previously advocated using sperm as a facial ointment.

    On her bizarre beverage concoction, she said: "I'd been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I'm full of beans and my mood has improved.

    "It can taste really good? depending on what my friend has been eating. My other mates think I'm strange, but I don't give a toss."

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      Some asshole beat you to this one.

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        I hate that fucker.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          That makes all of us.

          1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

            *bottom lip quivers*

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              Aww, i didn't mean it like that. I'm just pointing out that, as libertarians, we hate all human beings regardless of race/gender/religion/etc. And we ESPECIALLY hate other libertarians.

              1. bacon-magic   9 years ago

                ^Social signalling confirmed. *stamps Hihny file report "Randian"

        2. Rich   9 years ago

          Nice!

    2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "My other mates think I'm strange, but I don't give a toss."

      Somebody gave a toss, though.

  20. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

    Having some second thoughts about my global recession call. As with Brexit, the short-run case isn't that clear. Still a disaster

    ? Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) November 9, 2016

    Way to try and save face there Kruggie.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      "Having some second thoughts"...after it didn't happen? Nobel laureate genius at work!

  21. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

    ?Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

    Proving yet again that all of the batshit-crazy accusations and insults that lefties hurl at Republicans are merely projection.

    1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

      [golf clap]

  22. Rich   9 years ago

    President Barack Obama will host roast President-elect Donald Trump at the White House today.

    FTFY

  23. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    damn... squirrels hate Trump too! Serious lag in the comments

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      They, like myself, are still drunk on proggie tears.

  24. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

    I bet it will work this time.

    1. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

      -- I bet it will work this time.

      Yep. We'll be voting again any day now, surely.

  25. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Anti-Trump protests broke out last night in multiple cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

    Party of reason, logic, critical thought and SCIENCE. It is, by definition, the rational response.

  26. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    TW: Infowars

    Shock Video: Black Mob Viciously Beats White Trump Voter

    Shocking video out of Chicago shows a mob of young black men viciously beating an older white man because he voted for Donald Trump, dragging him through the streets as he hangs out of the back of his car.

    The clip shows the thugs repeatedly screaming, "you voted Donald Trump" as they assault the victim from every angle while others steal his belongings.

    "You voted Trump," the mob screams, "You gonna pay for that sh*t."

    Another woman shouts "beat his ass," while another man is heard laughing before remarking, "Don't vote Trump."

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Well, I was assured by SJWs that voting Trump would lead to racial violence. Looks like they were right.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        It was a threat, not a warning!

      2. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        I saw a post on facebook last night bemoaning that all of the violence we saw at Trump's political rallies would now become the norm.

        Umm... girl, you know who started most of that violence, don't you?

    2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Well I bet he went right back to the voting office and told them he changed his mind.

    3. Illocust   9 years ago

      Yeah, somehow I don't think this is what all tumlrettas had in mind when they said the Trump vote would increase hate crimes.

      1. SFC B   9 years ago

        They told me if I didn't vote for Clinton the racist opponents of the winner would riot. They were right.

  27. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

    WHAT. THE. FUCK. There are plenty of actual HUMANS who are paralyzed and these people are worried about chimps?

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      This is part of a long-term plan to resurrect Harambe.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *thunderous ovation*

      2. juris imprudent   9 years ago

        Do we really need a zombie Harambe?

    2. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      I would guess that they're trying it out on chimps first and working up to humans.

      1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        Wouldn't it be more ethical to start with progressives, then move on to chimps, then finally humans?

        I know progs brains aren't similar to chimp or human brains, but it seems like you could at least get some good practice with the skull saw on them. Shame to hurt a perfectly good chimp on something like that.

        1. BoTardESQue   9 years ago

          Wouldn't it be more ethical to start with progressives, then move on to chimps, then finally humans?

          Indeed. Who really needs to throw more poo more than the progs?

  28. Lurk Diggler   9 years ago

    Reason's summary:

    Russia said it was in contact with President-elect Donald Trump's team during the U.S. election campaign, despite repeated denials by the Republican candidate's advisers that any links existed.

    Actual headline and content:

    Russia said that it talked with the teams of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton during the U.S. presidential election as part of routine outreach during a campaign.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Jesus Christ. This is why the media is held in even lower esteem than Congress.

      1. Lurk Diggler   9 years ago

        Bloomberg (the link) is the one being honest and this site is the one doing the spin.

        1. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

          Damon/this site appears to be quoting a now revised article.

    2. Mr. Flanders   9 years ago

      Yeah I noticed this too. Shame on you, Reason! I expect better from this site.

    3. SimonD   9 years ago

      That was my first reaction, even before looking at the article. Of course they contacted Trump; I'm sure they talked to Mrs. Clinton too. It would be stupid of them not to, and the one thing Putin isn't is stupid.

      Aside: When I typed this at first, I wrote 'Of course they CONTRACTED Trump.' I lol'd.

    4. BYODB   9 years ago

      If I were Putin, I'd probably want to talk to Clinton since she was essentially threatening World War 3 in a domestic election with his country.

      The left topped itself this election season from season's past in their overt fear mongering. Most, but not all, of the tears and fears being exposed are a direct response to the media's incessant pants shitting over the Trumpocalyse.

      This is what 'birtherism' looks like from the left, I suppose.

      The real question, in my book, is if there's a single Republican that could have been elected out of the diverse field in the primaries that wouldn't have been considered the incarnation of the Anti-Christ. I think the answer to that question is simply 'no', even though many of them were very centrist. Go figure.

    5. Slumbrew   9 years ago

      Looking at the Bloomberg URL, I suspect the original headline is as presented:

      replacing dashes with spaces:

      "russia says it was in contact with trump s team during campaign"

      they just stealth-edited it, as they do.

  29. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    "Russia said it was in contact with President-elect Donald Trump's team during the U.S. election campaign, despite repeated denials by the Republican candidate's advisers that any links existed."

    They seem to be having as much fun with this as I am.

  30. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    Hoffer looms large over this election. We've got the New Poor, the chronically bored, the talentless, the misfits, all rearing their heads. We're getting ripe for a real mass social movement that doesn't mind spilling a little blood.

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      We've got the New Poor, the chronically bored, the talentless, the misfits, all rearing their heads.

      Radical Chic and Mau-mauing the Flak-catchers!

    2. juris imprudent   9 years ago

      The sad thing is that they don't realize it is their own blood that will be spilled.

      1. BYODB   9 years ago

        +1 Night of Long Knives

  31. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Man who used drone to deliver barbecue sausage to friend in hot tub could be fined

    Authorities in Australia are investigating a man who used a drone to pick up a sausage from a barbecue and deliver it to a friend in a hot tub.

    The man faces a ?5,600 [$AUS9,000] fine after he posted a video on YouTube which showed him sitting at home and piloting a drone which travelled over a busy motorway before descending to collect the cooked sausage from a barbecue ? or "sausage sizzle" - at a hardware store in Melbourne. The video has since been removed.

    Australia's Civil Aviation Safety Authority said it was investigating the incident over concerns the flight breached rules which ban drones from entering populous areas or flying within 33 yards [30 metres] of people.

    1. pan fried wylie   9 years ago

      within 33 yards [30 metres] of people.

      Including the pilot.

  32. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    I'd like to thank the left's reaction to Trump's victory for extending my schaudenfreude just a bit longer so I don't have to focus on how bad he'll be for liberty.

    1. Glide   9 years ago

      No kidding. I found myself completely morally unable to vote for Trump, but I'm nonetheless having so damn much fun watching the freakout over this win.

      He's a bad choice for liberty! He's a great choice for my amusement.

  33. Mr Drew   9 years ago

    Should I take a second day largely off to feast on proggy tears, or is that just wrong?

    I got shit done yesterday cuz i couldn't stop reading/watching/laughing.

  34. An Innocent Man   9 years ago

    If I could go back in time and take back my Gary Johnson vote, and give it to Trump, I would do it. If I am going to thoroughly enjoy something as much as I am right now, I ought to at least have earned it.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      I cruised the Facebook feed of every illiberal who ever annoyed me, laughing like a maniac. Then I went to bed and slept like a baby.

      We've got until January to enjoy the hell out of this.

    2. ChipToBeSquare   9 years ago

      Don't you know? A vote for Johnson WAS a vote for Trump

      1. Dick N. Bimbose (n?e Cooper)   9 years ago

        Yeah, my FB friends have told me (not directly since they don't know who I voted for) that my vote was useless, a slap in the face, and a 'vanity' vote.

        1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

          Didn't you know? All unused votes automatically goes to the Democrat candidate. So of course they're upset, they own that vote and you cheated them by using it for yourself.

          My wife voted for GayJay, admitted to it, and have been getting a cold shoulder at work ever since. The same workplace has a "safe space" (in all but name) where people are allowed to slack off if they're particularly upset about the election results.

          It's almost as if they don't actually believe in democracy.

    3. bibo ergo sum   9 years ago

      I voted Trump for the troll of it. Getting more than my money's worth.

      Can't turn off MSNBC for some reason.

  35. Douchey defeats Trumpman, Jr.   9 years ago

    Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges.

    Tyler Durden still wanted for questioning.*

    *-sorry I'm late. Stupid work.

    1. robc   9 years ago

      True story I shouldnt admit:

      I regularly confuse Tyler Durden and Tyler Cowen.

      At this point I have them straight, but every time I see Cowen's name, I picture Durden.

      1. Douchey defeats Trumpman, Jr.   9 years ago

        Don't be concerned. That's just the universal crush all living things have on Brad Pitt affecting you.

      2. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        That's understandable. They practically look the same. Similar bodies, for sure.

  36. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    N.H. man claims to be vampire after assault arrest, police say

    Police say a female employee was taking boxes out to the dumpster when a man approached her asking if she needed help. The man, whom police identified as 21-year-old Jacob May, then allegedly claimed he was a vampire and began running towards her.

    Police say May followed her as she ran inside the store yelling for help. The female told police May yelled, "just touch me, I can save you." May allegedly wrapped his arms around her when she fell to the ground. Police say May then attacked another employee who tried to fight him off.

    Police arrived a short time later. May allegedly told a responding officer that he was a "vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band."

    1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band."

      (Raises fingers in heavy-metal salute)

      1. Tom Bombadil   9 years ago

        Could've shortened it to "Buckaroo Banzai".

        1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

          nice

    2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band"

      He forgot Millennium Falcon co-pilot, shark hunter, and that kid who reads a book in the Neverending Story.

    3. Rich   9 years ago

      May allegedly told a responding officer that he was a "vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band."

      "Don't write that down! His name ain't 'Puddintane'!"

      (Props to Gahan Wilson.)

  37. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    "Scientists have developed a set of wireless brain and spinal cord implants that helped monkeys with severed spinal cords regain control of their paralyzed limbs and walk again."

    Next step

  38. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

    Trump's plan for gun laws

    Not much to complain about, except for the tough on crime stuff. Well, it's way better than Hillary's would have been.

    1. Juice   9 years ago

      He's said he wants to greatly increase the money and equipment flowing to police departments.

    2. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      He kept saying he was fine with stopping people who are on the terrorist watch list.

      Fortunately, it's not likely a GOP Congress would send him such a bill.

  39. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    A Helpful Resource for Surviving the Trumpening

    As the US and the world are reeling from the elections, it can sometimes feel like we don't even know where to begin. In fact, most of the staff at Everyday Feminism have taken the day off to process all the feelings coming up with the country having elected Trump.

    Given that so many of us are feeling overwhelmed, scared, determined, and/or ready to take action, we wanted to provide some resources to help you hold the space for yourself and others in this moment. This will help ground you as you take action to continue fighting systemic oppression and contributing to a more inclusive, anti-oppressive world.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "most of the staff at Everyday Feminism have taken the day off to process all the feelings coming up with the country having elected Trump."

      I'm sure the productivity over there on a normal day is just off the charts.

    2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Here are some suggestions:

      Stop the cult-worship of politicians
      Stop looking to Washington for solutions to your problems.
      Take direct action to correct the problems in your life
      After accomplishing the previous, do some charity work. Volunteering for a political campaign is not charity. "Raising awareness" is not charity. Posting on the Facebook or the Twitter is not charity.

    3. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Info on Systemic Oppression: To Better Understand What the Hell Just Happened

      Dear White America: You Are All Responsible for Trump
      What Would Happen If We Treated Male Politicians Like We Treat Female Politicians?
      4 Racist Stereotypes White Patriarchy Invented to 'Protect' White Womanhood
      4 Ways the American Dream Is Actually Just Affirmative Action for White People
      Here's Your Proof That White Americans Don't Face Systemic Racism
      10 Insidious Ways White Supremacy Shows Up in Our Everyday Lives
      13 Ways White Male Privilege Shows Up as Early as Elementary School
      3 Fear-Mongering Lies Politicians Love to Tell About Immigrants ? Debunked
      6 Common Phrases That Are Fueling Xenophobia Every Day
      Here's How 100 Years of American Fear Made Discriminatory Laws in Each Decade
      13 Ways the US Government is Robbing Marginalized People of Their Votes
      You're Not 'Oversensitive' ? Here's How People Use Gaslighting to Dismiss Sexism
      8 Ways the Media Upholds White Privilege and Demonizes People of Color

      I feel better already.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        "What Would Happen If We Treated Male Politicians Like We Treat Female Politicians?"

        We'd handle them with kid gloves, from what I can see.

        1. WTF   9 years ago

          Let's see, based on Hillary's experience, we would ignore and excuse corruption, incompetence, criminality, serial lying, and total lack of achievement, while proclaiming them "most qualified EVAR!!"

          1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

            Don't forget starting illegal wars.

    4. juris imprudent   9 years ago

      Day off? No one actually gets paid over do they?

  40. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Is Alleged Face on Mars Photo Sufficient Proof of Life on Red Planet?

    The fossilized creature looks similar to a bear, Tech Times pointed out. In the past, other shapes have been captured by NASA's Curiosity Rover such as a shoe, Bigfoot skull and an extraterrestrial warrior.

    Waring believed the dark object looks like having a coat of fur, while the area supposed to be its face has lesser hair. It would be consistent with an animal fossil. But skeptics disagree with Waring and said it is just a simple Martian rock with a weird shape. The doubters said the rock appears to have the shape of an animal due to the angle of the light and the illumination from the NASA vehicle when it took the image.

    Tech Times stressed it is merely pareidolia, the phenomenon of cognitive bias in which the mind perceives a stimulus as a familiar pattern.

    But Waring added that if there would be a stronger evidence of life on Mars, it would be to see an alien walking on the planet which he claims had occurred two times.

    Mars is just what happens to any planet once STEVE SMITH has raped everything and everyone.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Well, the hand around its neck clinches it for me.

    2. Raven Nation   9 years ago

      That's old news. Here's the truth about that.

      Yet more details.

  41. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    Trump has already achieved the impossible

    We're at a loss for words.

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      Is that a 'come hither' finger in the air?

  42. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    To what?

    President-Elect Trump Goes to Washington to Begin Transition

    His most prominent appointment is with President Barack Obama at 11 a.m., when they will meet in the Oval Office for 30 minutes before posing for photographs, the White House said. Trump's wife, Melania, will meet with first lady Michelle Obama.

    Trump and his vice president-elect, Mike Pence, then will meet with House Speaker Paul Ryan for lunch at 12:30 p.m., said two people familiar with the plans who asked for anonymity.

    Already, Trump is lining up potential administration appointments, including former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani as a leading contender to serve as attorney general and Representative Michael McCaul as Homeland Security secretary, according to people familiar with the matter. Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, a loyal Trump supporter, is interested in serving as defense secretary, the people said. Trump has told him he has his pick of cabinet positions.

    1. Lord Rollingpin   9 years ago

      To Emperor Trump, Supreme Galactic Overlord.

  43. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

    I snorted lots of proggie tears last night on Facebook. It's an unbelievable high.

    What I gathered happened while I was gone:

    - Lots of Bernie supporters going full-Hillary.
    - Lots of pantsuit nation memes.
    - Women dressing in pantsuits to vote.
    - Pics of "I voted" stickers being put on Susan B. Anthony's grave.
    - TOTAL whitewashing of Hillary's actual record.
    - HERstory stuff.

    And finally...

    Tears. Lots of tears.

    With no self-awareness about how concentrating power in DC will backfire on you.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Welcome back, Injun!

      The proggie tears are so deliciously intoxicating. I'm going hair of the dog for the third day. Gotta enjoy it while I can because the four-year Trump hangover will be brutal.

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        Thanks dude.

        Snort, drink, bathe in those tears while you can. We don't get them that often.

    2. BigT   9 years ago

      Welcome back, heap big chief of the funny.

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        Thanks BigT and Chipwooder.

        My weather forecast is for MORE proggie tears when the Senate replaces Scalia in the SCOTUS.

        $5 the Senate will use the nuclear option to overcome Dem filibuster.

        Throw in a potential Clarence Thomas retirement and 1-2 leftist justices passing away and/or retiring, and the tears will be oh so awesome.

    3. Chipwooder   9 years ago

      Start mainlining it. The high is off the charts.

  44. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

    National Pravda Radio this morning had a long story on how the entire nation is out protesting a president they don't believe in.

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Change you... er... CAN'T believe in.

      Because he's not a Democrat.

      1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

        I meant to add, that was literally the only mention of the election I heard--how much he's hated.

  45. That's A Bingo!   9 years ago

    Watched some late night comedians this morning. Lots of bashing of Trump supporters. That's why you lost, morons.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Nah, nah, you got it all wrong. The problem is that they didn't insult Trump or his supporters enough. If they called them idiot racists just a few more times, Hilldog would have won in a landslide.

  46. RBS   9 years ago

    Now that the election is over can we get back to panicking about Ebola?

  47. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    some FB goodness from one of my old punk rock gal pals:

    Thanks for the laughs today, Facebook. Everyone claims they are for "democracy", but it seems they are only for it as long as everyone agrees with them. I'm not a fan of Trump, but I would rather have anyone in office besides Hillary, and sorry, but this does not make me racist, sexist, homophobic, or "deplorable". If you want to unfriend me for saying that, so be it. I guess we weren't that great of "friends" anyway if I can't state my opinion without offending you. And if you really need to blame someone for the election results, blame the DNC for allowing that conniving bitch to steal the nomination in the first place, don't blame the 3rd party voters, or Trump supporters. All of you breaking off ties with friends and family over fucking politics is just silly.

    "If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it."-Mark Twain

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      She sounds exactly like my wife.

    2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      Perfect

  48. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    I've been seeing a lot of FB memes that if Bernie had won the nomination he would have won the election.

    Thoughts?

    1. That's A Bingo!   9 years ago

      He couldn't beat Hillary. Even Trump could do that.

      1. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

        Hah!

    2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      Lok

    3. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      Lol

    4. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Nope.

    5. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      It would have been like Mondale in '84.

    6. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Who needs 23 types of FB memes when there are children starving in this country?

    7. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Old people aren't going to vote for Bernie.

    8. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Thoughts?

      it would have been funnier, if that were possible.

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        If it were any funnier, it would be as deadly as the joke in Monty Python's Deadly Joke sketch.

    9. Brett L   9 years ago

      If you look at the vote totals, anything Trump won with uneducated whites, he lost with the #NeverTrump idiots. So I don't think that would have changed. Although, the where mattered there. I don't think any other Republican would have won WI, and maybe not PA. That said, the story for the Democrat is really the 5M black votes that they didn't get this election. If I were the Dems, i would sell out on Corey Booker or Michelle O for 2020. Its the only thing that changes the map for them.

    10. thom   9 years ago

      What literally nobody is talking about is how in open primaries Democratic voters were voting as Republicans for Donald Trump so that Hillary would have an easy road to the White House. This was a big thing at the time, but now...forgotten.

  49. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

    You know, as the Facebook tears came on and on I began to feel annoyed. It took me most of last night to figure out WHY I was annoyed, but then it hit me. Everyone on my Facebook upset that Clinton didn't win is harping on the idea that Trump is racist, sexist, homophobic, and Islamophobic.

    Which, sure, even if some of those are debatable, I can somewhat understand (based on the image of Trump the media has fed them) their complaints in this regard.

    But what was annoying me is that these people ONLY care about racism, sexism, homophobia, and Islamophobia when REPUBLICANS are doing it!!

    I mean, would someone who ACTUALLY cared about not having a racist president support a candidate who called black youth "superpredators"??

    Would someone who ACTUALLY cared about not having a sexist president support a candidate who called women coming forward with accusations of harassment "bimbo eruptions"??

    Would someone who ACTUALLY cared about Muslims and the profiling they suffer in the country support a candidate who wanted to use a secret government list that disproportionately targets Muslims to strip them of their constitutional rights without trial??

    These people VOTED for "superpredators"!! They VOTED for "bimbo eruptions"!! They VOTED for increased profiling against Muslims!! And they have the NERVE to then turn around and complain that other voters are racist, sexist, and Islamophobic!!

    1. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      Now it took me some digging, but I did finally nail down where the accusations of "homophobia" against Trump were coming from. Apparently he stated twice in the past he is against gay marriage. But if THIS is SUCH an important issue, why the hell did these Democrats, eight years ago, voice not a SINGLE word of protest about us electing a man with the EXACT SAME VIEWS then!?

      I mean, in 2008, /I/ was supporting a candidate who was pro-gay marriage. The same Democrats complaining today, on the other hand, assured me at the time that that sole issue was NOT IMPORTANT enough to base their vote on and voted for a man who was against gay marriage. Fast forward a mere EIGHT YEARS and suddenly voting for a candidate with the views they were FINE with eight years ago is the END OF THE WORLD!!

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        It all comes down to one thing: D vs R.

        D = automatically good
        R = automatically bad

        1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

          Republicans hate the government
          Democrats hate Republicans

      2. lafe.long   9 years ago

        Now it took me some digging, but I did finally nail down where the accusations of "homophobia" against Trump were coming from.

        Trump on gays:

        Would we see gay people in a Trump administration?

        I would want the best and brightest. Sexual orientation would be
        meaningless. I'm looking for brains and experience. If the best person
        for the job happens to be gay, I would certainly appoint them. One of
        the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people
        don't go into government. I'd want to change that.

        "Donald Trump is the best candidate that the LGBT community has ever seen come out of the Republican Party," Charles Moran said. "We see a consistent line from Donald Trump that being pro LGBT and pro inclusion is a good business decision and I believe he's going to bring that with him in the White House."

    2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      That's because they live in Bizarro world where everything is logically opposite.

  50. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

    "Brad Pitt has been cleared of child abuse charges."

    Never stick it in crazy even if super hot.

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      Not even once?

      1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

        Only if anonymity is assured.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Especially if years later she is going to remove her boobs so that she doesn't ever die of boob cancer. Also, never act strange on an airplane even if you own the airplane.

      The FBI interviewed him for something like four hours.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        That would seriously suck.

      2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

        The FBI interviewed him for something like four hours.

        "So i mean...seriously, you REALLY DID fuck them both in Thelma & Louise, right? I mean, come on, you had to"
        "officer, i mean agent..."
        "Look, Pitt, its either us, or DHS, and they're not movie fans, but they do love body-cavities, and you definitely look like you're smuggling something to me, so start dishing...."

  51. Rich   9 years ago

    What is it with the squirrels this morning? Must be anti-Trump info highway blockers.

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      They've gone nuts.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *blank stare*

      2. jester   9 years ago

        ACORN. It's back.

    2. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      Has been like this for a few days. Not sure if traffic related.

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        Not sure if traffic related.

        It's sexism, plain and simple.

        Reason has a female boss, and the sexist squirrels have come out in full opposition.

    3. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

      Maybe Suderman deliberately electrocuted himself on the backup power generator Tuesday morning and in the process fried a few of the servers in the cluster?

      1. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

        I don't think they need a "cluster" to handle the comments here.. It's probably just running on an old laptop that is slowly choking to death on dust and cat hair.

  52. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    So full of proggie tears... it's like Christmas but no wool socks.

    1. SimonD   9 years ago

      Last night I put on my footsie pajamas and had a cup of cocoa, while reading the comments at Salon and giggling uncontrollably.

      (PS: Not really, the Progpocolypse is starting to bore me, but occasionally a Prog flips out in an exceptionally entertaining way and I giggle again).

  53. Echo Chamber   9 years ago

    Where's John? I owe him an apology for questioning his pre-election optimism at Trump's election propects

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      I haven't seen John since before Election Day. I suspect his ecstasy over the results has enabled him to transcend into a higher plain of existence.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      He was in the Ken from Popehat interview thread comparing penis size with Ken from Popehat.

      1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

        From his bunk no doubt

    3. Slumbrew   9 years ago

      He's gone to see a doctor about his schadenboner - it has lasted longer than 4 hours.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        He's been cumming continuously since 2am yesterday morning.

    4. Episteme   9 years ago

      His work here is done, and he's now returned to his home planet.

  54. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    Anybody heard anything about the release date for Brian Stelter's book? He's CNN's expert on media matters, surely he knows there's a dozen journalists feverishly banging away on manuscripts for their mea culpa explanations of how the media aided and abetted Trump and he'd be pretty remiss not to have his book hitting the shelves first. I can't wait to read how the media erred in giving Trump so much uncritical coverage in the early going instead of sticking to their job of educating the public about how much more reasonable and responsible it would be for the GOP to select a fine, decent, upstanding Romneyesque candidate like Jeb! or Kasich. And how they compounded the problem by attempting some sort of "balanced equivalency" in their incesssant coverage of all the ridiculous nonsense nothing-burger fever-dream conspiracy horseshit about Hillary's completely open and honest handling of her yoga routines and cookie recipes on the completely normal private e-mail account she inherited from Condi Rice. And the conclusion that if only the media had done their job and focused on the serious issues instead of being seduced by the ratings generated by the clownshow they could have prevented this catastrophe.

  55. Wally   9 years ago

    Has anybody mentioned the voter ID requirements. I know they're in effect in WI. Coincidence?

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I've always had to show my driver's license to vote here in Virginia. It's racism, straight up.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        You only have to show your ID if you're white... so, not racist.

        1. Episteme   9 years ago

          To be fair, all of us white folks look alike.

    2. jester   9 years ago

      In Idaho everybody knows everyone else.

    3. Mr Drew   9 years ago

      This felt weird. I had to give them my id. They scanned the barcode on the back, then scanned the barcode on the ballot and handed me my license and ballot.

      Kmele says I'm being paranoid and I'm not saying it's some dark conspiracy, just that it had a weird vibe to it.

      1. Mr Drew   9 years ago

        Ohio, btw

    4. KDN   9 years ago

      Possibly. Here's what I don't get: voter ID laws seem like a solution without a problem - in-person voting at multiple precincts / under multiple names has to be the absolute least efficient way of cheating during an election, and if it were happening regularly I'm sure someone would have said something by now. Plus, the laws make it a point to have the gov't go out of its way to ensure that anybody without traditional ID will be given a voter ID card at no cost and with minimal effort.

      Realistically it should have no effect on turnout whatsoever, yet those states with these laws do see a material decrease in the level of voting by minority groups. It leads me to believe that the left's' rhetoric on this issue, the idea that showing an ID to prove your eligibility while voting is an affront to human dignity, has seeped into the consciousness of their own constituents and they are often skipping the process altogether in some sort of subconscious protest.

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        If you have an accurate assessment of who voted, then the stuffing of ballot boxes with additional votes would become detectable because the numbers wouldn't add up. They would have to find more identities to steal to add to the people who voted to account for the stuffing, increasing the effort involved and lowering the amount of votes they can fraudulently add without detection.

        A solution does not need to be perfect to move in the right direction and be worth implementing.

        1. KDN   9 years ago

          Sure, but that supposes someone is actually checking in anything more than a cursory way. Turnout is usually like 50% or so, correct? Bump that up to 65% in key precincts and nobody but cranky sore losers will say a thing about it.

          1. Cyto   9 years ago

            Another anecdote: Back in the 90's when Cynthia McKinney was my representative, they had video of a couple of busloads of her supporters going from polling location to polling location and going inside. They even took over one polling location briefly and locked the Republican poll monitor in a closet while they held the poll open after hours.

            But the cranky sore loser didn't get much of a hearing. They pretty much immediately found "nothing to see here". Just like they always do. Maybe it is more important that everyone have faith in the system than it is to ensure that everything is on the up-and-up.

            1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

              As I recall, McKinney was always very quick to trot out the voter fraud accusations against her opposition. The best defense is a good offense.

      2. Cyto   9 years ago

        I'll just point out an ironic situation from election day here in Broward County, Florida.

        When I went to cast my vote, I had a nice, African-American poll worker ask me for my driver's license so I could vote. I think I was the only one who could see the irony of the white dude being asked for an ID by the black lady who works for the African American election supervisor before he could vote.

        For the record, I just let them swipe my ID and signed the electronic signature pad. I'm sure I could have objected and gone through some alternate process, but what's the point?

      3. SFC B   9 years ago

        Voting in person in multiple locations is inefficient if you're trying to impact an election like the presidency. But that's not the only race being run. Get 25 people to vote in 3 locations for something like county commissioner and it can matter. If you're already committing the fraud by busing people around, might as well have them throw in votes for the top-of-the-ballot folks as well.

  56. Mr Drew   9 years ago

    And where the hell is John?? Is he still drunk?

    1. robc   9 years ago

      I hear he is meeting with Obama this morning.

      I

  57. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    Perhaps this could shine a little understanding on the Facebook meltdown over Trump

    Overall, 20% of social media users say they've modified their stance on a social or political issue because of material they saw on social media, and 17% say social media has helped to change their views about a specific political candidate. Among social media users, Democrats ? and liberal Democrats in particular ? are a bit more likely than Republicans to say they have ever modified their views on a social or political issue, or on a particular political candidate, because of something they saw on social media. (Democrats and Republicans include independents and nonpartisans who "lean" toward these parties.)

    1. T.F.G.   9 years ago

      Maybe then I should take the numerous progressives on my Facebook feed to task since their opinions are apparently so malleable.

      I always just ignore them because Facebook seems like a terrible vehicle to discuss politics appropriately.

      1. To: Trshmnstr From: Hrod [C]   9 years ago

        because Facebook seems like a terrible vehicle to discuss politics appropriately.

        This is why I block and unfriend people on there that make it a point to bitch about politics. I'm happy to have my social media be either politics-free or an echo chamber. If I want to broaden my horizons, I'll read a book.

  58. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    And you knew it was coming...

    The Electoral College was expressly designed to keep the White House away from the "wrong" people. In 1787, that meant white men who didn't have a stake in keeping not-rich white men and/or those who might sympathize with abolitionists out of what wasn't yet the Oval Office, because the thought of black men ? much less women ? actually voting was more dystopian fiction than political possibility. Well, the nation they invented survived any number of uneducated "populist" presidents, starting with Andrew Jackson, and now eight years of a Black president. Yesterday, we'd finally have broken the Woman Barrier, if not for the Republicans' combination of voter suppression and gerrymandering (plus the assistance of a dishonestly partisan FBI director and a foreign autocrat).

    1. AlmightyJB   9 years ago

      This is why there is an electorial college.

      http://hotair.com/archives/201.....-rhetoric/

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        "People have to die."
        If it comes to that, I don't think it will be the well-armed rednecks who doing the dying, dumbass.

    2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      expressly designed larf.

      Republics - how do they work again?

    3. That's A Bingo!   9 years ago

      Keep the electoral college, get rid of the popular vote.

      1. Episteme   9 years ago

        Keep the electoral college, get rid of the popular vote.

        Having the (popularly elected) state assemblies vote on electors in lieu of a popular election for them was good enough for the Founding Generation!

        From Article II of the Constitution:

        Section 1. The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows
        Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

    4. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      If the electoral college was the problem, blue states would have been turning deep blue. Instead, they have been electing Republicans for the past 8 years. Heck, even Vermont and Maryland have Republican governors.

      This comes down to people not liking Obama and the Democrats.

      1. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

        I told someone yesterday that I'd have no problem going to a popular vote if the winner was required to get 50%, with a runoff between the top two candidates a week or so later if none hit the 50% mark. What I didn't tell him was that a runoff between Hillary and Trump probably would have turned out the same because Hillary's an unlikeable bitch.

    5. RBS   9 years ago

      Yesterday, we'd finally have broken the Woman Barrier, if not for the Republicans' combination of voter suppression and gerrymandering (plus the assistance of a dishonestly partisan FBI director and a foreign autocrat).

      Christ, these people are morons.

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        we'd finally have broken the Woman Barrier

        Is that a reference to the hymen?

        ** ducks and runs away **

        1. jester   9 years ago

          The maiden Head-of-State. [technically, she and Bill never had sex. Maybe some fisting though.]

        2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          *narrows gaze at fleeing Injun*

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        dishonestly partisan FBI director

        Wait, I thought he was a hero who didn't bow to political pressure....

    6. some guy   9 years ago

      How does gerrymandering have any impact on the Presidential election? Gerrymandering is an entirely intra-state phenomenon and electoral votes are given out by the whole state with only a few negligible exceptions. Was she actively trying to undermine her own credibility with that one?

      Also, from the comments:

      sunny raines says:
      November 10, 2016 at 8:10 am

      you left out the manipulative corporate media that sells every republican outrage aas no big deal and makes every no big deal Democratic action into an outrage.

    7. Glide   9 years ago

      I may be denser than usual today, but what possible effect could gerrymandering have on a presidential election?

      Or are they literally just blindly throwing every negative election-related word they can?

      1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

        Facts have no power against derp

    8. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      that meant white men who didn't have a stake in keeping not-rich white men and/or those who might sympathize with abolitionists out of what wasn't yet the Oval Office, because the thought of black men ? much less women ? actually voting was more dystopian fiction than political possibility.

      ...Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *stirs iocane powder into goblet*

  59. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Commentary: The unbearable smugness of the press

    Journalists increasingly don't even believe in the possibility of reasoned disagreement, and as such ascribe cynical motives to those who think about things a different way. We see this in the ongoing veneration of "facts," the ones peddled by explainer websites and data journalists who believe themselves to be curiously post-ideological.

    That the explainers and data journalists so frequently get things hilariously wrong never invites the soul-searching you'd think it would. Instead, it all just somehow leads us to more smugness, more meanness, more certainty from the reporters and pundits. Faced with defeat, we retreat further into our bubble, assumptions left unchecked. No, it's the voters who are wrong.

    1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      That's the fantasy, the idea that if we mock them enough, call them racist enough, they'll eventually shut up and get in line. It's similar to how media Twitter works, a system where people who dissent from the proper framing of a story are attacked by mobs of smugly incredulous pundits. Journalists exist primarily in a world where people can get shouted down and disappear, which informs our attitudes toward all disagreement.

      Yep. I think Freddie said it shorter.

      then there's this

      Journalists increasingly don't even believe in the possibility of reasoned disagreement, and as such ascribe cynical motives to those who think about things a different way. We see this in the ongoing veneration of "facts," the ones peddled by explainer websites and data journalists who believe themselves to be curiously post-ideological.

      which was neatly covered by that guy @ Current Affairs

      *and tho i think that was a great piece, i'm not 100% on board with his diagnosis that the problem is ultimately about a 'values' debate. I think its more to do with a triumph of rhetoric over logic.

      1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

        I guess social signaling is the new sophistry.

    2. Brett L   9 years ago

      Instead, it all just somehow leads us to more smugness, more meanness, more certainty from the reporters and pundits. Faced with defeat, we retreat further into our bubble, assumptions left unchecked.

      You cannot learn what you already know. That's the biggest problem for a bunch of people. Its like watching the people who don't really want to be scientists in Chem I lab. They just want to put the "right" numbers in to make the results come out. You can't do that and learn anything about the world. You're just accepting the book's word for it.

    3. Slumbrew   9 years ago

      Good, honest look by a member of the press. I predict he will be promptly ignored and/or reviled.

    4. Brett L   9 years ago

      Vox (!) runs a similarly thoughtful piece in the same vein. Somehow manages to avoid using only quotes from their own articles.

  60. jester   9 years ago

    Brad Pitt was suspected of molesting Mia Farrow's children? I need to read People more often.

  61. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Faced with defeat, we retreat further into our bubble, assumptions left unchecked. No, it's the voters who are wrong.

    This seemed to be the consensus of opinion, yesterday, in much of what I saw. And heard in person from a city commissioner who said, "I had no idea there were so many knuckle-draggers out there."

    This nation will never be truly enlightened until we get a better class of voters. You know- people who think just as we do.

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Why do you think the Democrats are so eager to import millions of immigrants who will vote for the party of government dependency?

  62. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    A website with no references to Trump or Clinton (that I've seen anyway)

  63. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    My favorite dipshit Twitter/Facebook outrage panic that would never actually happen: Thousands of federal employees are going to quit their jobs in protest.

  64. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    some Iowahawk material:

    David Burge ?@iowahawkblog 26m26 minutes ago
    The media warned me that crazy fascists would go apeshit after losing the election, and they were right

    David Burge ?@iowahawkblog 1h1 hour ago
    The flag burnings will continue until the rednecks stop being pissed off

    David Burge ?@iowahawkblog 15h15 hours ago
    Trump is what happens when you spent the last 7 Thanksgiving dinners lecturing your angry uncle from your Vox index cards.

    David Burge ?@iowahawkblog Nov 9
    Words I never want to hear again: ground game, thread the needle, run the table, exit poll, tracking poll, *anything* poll, Nate Silver

    1. Lee Genes   9 years ago

      Trump is what happens when you spent the last 7 Thanksgiving dinners lecturing your angry uncle from your Vox index cards.

      That one got an audible laugh from me.

      1. robc   9 years ago

        That one is so spot on it had to hurt.

      2. robc   9 years ago

        That one is so spot on it had to hurt.

      3. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        I LOLd

    2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      David Burge ?@iowahawkblog Nov 9
      Words I never want to hear again: ground game, thread the needle, run the table, exit poll, tracking poll, *anything* poll, Nate Silver

      Amen.

      The only semi-sane/smart thing i heard anyone on CNN say in the last few years was a trump campaign guy, who when asked about "Did you 'never believe the polling data', or did you have your own private poll-sources..."

      He just looked at the anchor like he was an idiot and said, "Politics is about *people*, not 'data'. You need to go places and talk to people, and listen to them. Looking at numbers will never tell you how to do that."

      1. robc   9 years ago

        To add to that.

        Be for something not just against the other guy.

        Kerry made that mistake in 2004, Romney did in 2012, Clinton did in 2016.

        Trump could have just run against Clinton as a crook, but he didnt. Even if what he ran on is entirely wrong, he ran on something.

        1. Raven Nation   9 years ago

          Carter, 1980: we face immense problems many of which have no apparent solution.

          Reagan, 1980: we face immense problems that have been caused by bad policy. We can solve these problems by doing the following...

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        Words I never want to hear again: ground game, thread the needle, run the table, exit poll, tracking poll, *anything* poll, Nate Silver

        Can we add "Citizens United" and "newspaper endorsements" to that list?

        1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

          "newspaper endorsements"

          lol

  65. The Grinch   9 years ago

    Ah the protests, my shadenboner is back. Regardless of how well Trump does do or doesn't do this is going to be a strangely arousing four years.

  66. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Apropos of nothing- yesterday, there was some talk about Jimmeh Carter: Hillary is Carter in a pantsuit, etc...

    Under Jimmy Carter's Presidency, the airlines were deregulated, and the Civil Aeronautics Board was done away with. The result was a boom in commercial air travel, at massively reduced cost.

    Has a single thing been done by the Obama administration which `could be considered a comparable success?

    1. robc   9 years ago

      Also, homebrewing was legalized, which pretty directly led to 4800 breweries in the US.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        You don't necessarily need a choice of 4800 breweries when there are hungry children in this country.

        1. KDN   9 years ago

          Let them eat spent grain.

    2. Cyto   9 years ago

      Well, healthcare costs have doubled. So there is that....

  67. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    I can sympathize with the people distraught over a Trump presidency - I member eight years ago when me and Junior and Bubba and Billy Bob and the other Billy Bob got together for a good long cry over this country electing that colored fella president. After that, I never dreamed I'd live to see the day when 'Murca would elect somebody that looked like me President. Somebody that knew what it was like gumming a possum 'round the breakfast table in a 56 Fleetwood single-wide with yer Sistermama and yer Uncle Daddy and a pitcher of Black Velvet Jesus and Elvis smiling down from Heaven on the wall. Somebody like me that worked hard for their scratcher-and-beer money and couldn't understand why everybody else couldn't be expected to do the same. Somebody with a two-dollar spray tan and a fitty-cent education, a dime-store wife and a Walmart Sunday-go-to-meeting outfit. I'm jest suprised to find out there's 60 million or so of us illiterate ignoramuses living in Alabama trailer parks all over this great country, I woulda figured there wan't no more than a million or so. Yeehaw! It shore feels good knowin all y'alls is good peoples just like me.

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      Excellent. Stole this for FB though I'm sure it will fly over some people's heads.

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      yer Sistermama and yer Uncle Daddy

      Please explain the family tree that makes this even possible. I'm failing to work it out.

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        Okay, I think I've got it.

        Female A and Male B of no particular relation have a child, Male C

        Male C and Female A have a Child, Female D

        Female D and Male C had a Child, Speaker E.

        Male C is both father and Uncle (mother's brother) to Speaker E

        Female D is both sister and mother to Speaker E.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Also known as the Alabama Tesseract.

      2. Pan Zagloba   9 years ago

        Crusader Kings 2, help me now!

        Sistermama - if you have a Daughter-Wife, and she gives birth, she's the child's mother and half-sister.
        Uncle Daddy - if you have a Sister-Wife, you are your child's father and uncle.

        It's easy with Zoroaster's help!

  68. Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper   9 years ago

    We're on day two of the Progressive meltdown, and it fills me with such a strange, unfamiliar sensation of peace and bliss. I think this is what enlightenment must feel like: a peaceful, quiet joy; a feeling of oneness with all things.

    As I read, hear, and see Progressives losing their minds, screaming tantrums, rioting in the streets, all I can think is that I'm watching their worldview fade into irrelevance. It's beautiful. It's like waking up from a nightmare.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Enjoy

      1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

        That is A-list schadenfreude from the very first tearful rant

      2. Je suis Woodchipper   9 years ago

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grD_IINiH9c

        "Butt-Hurt Crying Hillary Voters Compilation"

        you're welcome

        1. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

          No offense Derp-o, but having watched both, Je suis' link is better

          1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

            On review, I agree. I just went with the first I came across.

            Much thanks, Je suis.

        2. Raven Nation   9 years ago

          On a serious note, I do have some sympathy for anyone who invests their life in a politician.

      3. Free Society   9 years ago

        DELICIOUS

    2. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

      I watched one guy on my Derpbook feed go through the five stages of grief in the span of 18 hours. it was amazing to behold.

  69. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Why does the President have three cell phones in that picture?

    1. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

      Two of them will be destroyed with a hammer later on.

  70. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Prediction: Trump presidency is more Democrate-lite than expected, but the proggies won't see that. Instead they will try to shift the Democrat party even harder left (is that possible?).

    Anyways - they will hate anything he does, even if he enacted single-payer healthcare.

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      *Democrat

    2. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

      I actually really want him to propose a single-payer healthcare system now just to watch the progs oppose it in a fit of contrarian pique--especially all the dipshit college students who can't form an opinion that wasn't spoon-fed to them by their professors and peer group.

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        Yeah, he can be as New Dealish as he wants, and it probably got him votes, but it won't get him any love from the progs.

        Forcing business to give paid maternal leave - sexist (what about men?) and inadequate.

        Waving rainbow flag, convention speaker proclaims himself an out gay man - LGBTs are terrified at the thought of Trump being President.

        etc.

    3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      So, Nixon 2.0?

      EPA, affirmative action, wage and price controls, eliminating what's left of the gold standard, recognizing Mao's China, pulling out of Vietnam, ending the draft...remember how Nixon got credit for all that and the Left grew more responsible? /sarc

      1. robc   9 years ago

        I told my wife that this election was a repeat of 1968, with Trump as Johnson and Clinton as Nixon. I liked the party reversal.

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          Trump is certainly playing the Nixon role, and the Left is playing the same role - provoking voters into voting Republican.

          I won't go so far as to compare Hillary to Humphrey or Johnson to Wallace.

          1. robc   9 years ago

            I think Trump as the brash, foul-mouthed jerk and Clinton as the criminal is the better analogy.

            1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

              It struck me as a choice between the mob and the Joker. Most people's instinct is to go with the mob, since they are predictable, keep order, and you can get by if you just keep your head down and don't ask too many questions. But after a few decades of mob control, people are willing to try anything to escape, even if it's throwing their lot in with an egomaniacal clown.

        2. geo1113   9 years ago

          Johnson? Do you mean Wallace?

        3. jester   9 years ago

          I thought Humphrey was the other guy, not Johnson.

          1. robc   9 years ago

            Yeah, you are correct. I was thinking of the Johnson/Trump comparison and forgot he didnt run in 1968.

  71. robc   9 years ago

    538 has a piece this morning that could have been summed up with "its the economy, stupid", but they didnt.

    The counties that Trump did much better than Romney arent (necessarily) ones with high unemployment, but ones with low wages and poor economic growth opportunities. Eight years of stagnation and it was time for a change.

    Its not a big shocker, Hillary can just ask Bill what happened to her.

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      538? lol.

      1. robc   9 years ago

        Yeah, I know, I was checking it for the excuse making.

        People made a big deal about them in 2012, but they actually missed some states very bad. KY and TN for example. Silver predicted Obama to improve over 2008, when he actually did much worse. But that got lost in the noise because he "successfully" predicted Romney to win those states.

  72. Free Society   9 years ago

    Interest in #Calexit growing after Donald Trump victory

    Washington (CNN)They call it #Calexit.

    Interest in pushing for California's secession from the United States has increased after Donald Trump won the presidency.
    The "Yes California" campaign is backing an independence referendum in support of a constitutional exit of the state from the US. In the wake of 60% of the state's voters supporting the presidential loser, Hillary Clinton, the movement is getting renewed interest.
    "As the sixth largest economy in the world, California is more economically powerful than France and has a population larger than Poland. Point-by-point, California compares and competes with countries, not just the 49 other states," the campaign's website said.
    The #calexit name stems from the successful "brexit" campaign in Britain to leave the European Union.

    I completely support their secession.

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      The crybullies won't let Northern California secede. The hypocrisy is unreal.

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      The dems would never let them leave. This country would become a single party nation under the Republicans if they did.

    3. geo1113   9 years ago

      We're going to need a longer wall!

    4. robc   9 years ago

      Can we sell them to Mexico?

      1. KDN   9 years ago

        Like Mexico can afford that. Do you know how expensive Bay Area real estate is these days?

        1. robc   9 years ago

          Dont forget the debt they will be taking on too CA's state debt, plus their share of the Federal debt.

          That right there might cover most of the costs.

    5. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

      Calizuela or Commiefornia?

      1. jester   9 years ago

        Why don't they just admit they are stolen war booty from the Mexican-American War. They could join the worker's paradise known as Los Estados Unidos Mexicanos.

    6. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      "A Republican was elected, let's secede!"

      I think I've heard something like that before...

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        You're supposed to say:

        "You know who else wanted to secede after a Republican got elected?"

        Get your shit together.

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          How about, "you know who else wanted all his people to be in a single country?"

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Moses?

          2. To: Trshmnstr From: Hrod [C]   9 years ago

            Ben Netanyahu?

    7. 0x90   9 years ago

      I completely support their secession.

  73. Sevo   9 years ago

    FFS!

    "I do really feel for the parents who had to explain this to their kids this morning," Meyers said. "Especially parents with daughters because a lot of them like me probably thought Hillary would be our first woman president."
    http://www.sfgate.com/entertai.....605984.php

    Efing sexist.

    1. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

      Maybe don't mythologize to your children the grandiosity and infallibility of our national institutions?

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        Agreed. Someone asked me at work yesterday how I was explaining this to my son (who is three months old, by the way). I said that I've been telling him for a while that there was no good outcome to this election likely, but that we shouldn't put all of our aspirations and self-worth into a cult of politicians anyway.

        1. commodious was wrong again   9 years ago

          Three months old? My nephew just turned one and his retention is terrible. Can't even call me uncle, the little dummy.

      2. Sevo   9 years ago

        And how about choosing a pres by something other than what's between their legs? Maybe even teach your kids to spend less time thinking about that and more time *THINKING*?

      3. Rhywun   9 years ago

        This x1000

        When did we become a country of sycophants? A healthy disrespect for government institutions used to be pretty widespread.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      They are embarrassed and they are so caught up in their smug, imaginary world of "I'm right and you're wrong" that they don't know how to deal with being "wrong." They are the losers. The cool kids who are obsessed with how others perceive them are now the losers! It's fun.

    3. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Maybe I'm old school, but Meyers tearing up on camera makes him look like a beta male. I'm still in the "boys don't cry" club, especially in public.

      Hillary was wretched and the media tried everything to get her into the WH - first by rooting for Trump in the primaries, then turning his coverage to negative as he got closer and eventually won the GOP nomination.

      This is a BIG f*** you to the media, and I hope those butthurt losers lose again in 2020.

      1. Slumbrew   9 years ago

        Jesus, what a pussy, crying in public over the loss by some politician. Hint: they don't give a shit about you, Seth.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          Seth Meyers did this?! Good lord. The only bright side is how completely irrelevant late night television is anymore. I didn't even know he had a show.

      2. To: Trshmnstr From: Hrod [C]   9 years ago

        I'm still in the "boys don't cry" club, especially in public.

        Acceptable times for a man to cry in public:
        - Your child is born
        - A family member dies (we'll include your dog dying in this despite my hatred for people who pretend their dogs are their children)
        - You return home from war
        - You step on a lego

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          1. Check, check
          2. Check
          3. Check, check
          4. I managed not to cry, but swore so vilely I half expect the lightning to strike me on the spot.

        2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

          It is acceptable to shed a single, manly tear when listening to Lou Gehrig's farewell speech.

  74. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

    Touche!

  75. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    That would be the best news I've heard all week.

    Other than Lena Dunham leaving the country that is.

  76. robc   9 years ago

    I suggest John is Trump, you suggest he is Guliani?

  77. SugarFree   9 years ago

    He deserves something for his slobbering loyalty.

  78. PurityDiluting   9 years ago

    This has been an epic bender, but appointing Christie as AG would be a total buzz kill

  79. Lee Genes   9 years ago

    I'll give Trump credit for referencing the Forgotten Man (and woman) in his acceptance speech. It was an unexpected and timely attribution.

  80. You ARE a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

    I like Cox.

  81. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    I saw this yesterday. Super interesting. If President Donald J. Motherfucking Trump* reins in the FDA enough to actually let a few good innovations through, I might stop poking fun at his hair.

    *I dunno what it is, it just looks better that way.

  82. The Fusionist   9 years ago

    I think John called this - gun control leaves people at the mercy of left-wing mobs.

  83. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

    Thanks Tundra.

    How are things in Minnesota?

    Have Hillary's comparisons to Mondale started yet?

  84. BYODB   9 years ago

    Feature, not bug.

    I'm no gun owner, and never really plan to be, but you know why I heavily support the second amendment? Because I care most about the first amendment, but there are prerequisites for that. Those who don't understand this, and don't respect the second amendment, are asking for no rights at all down the line.

  85. SugarFree   9 years ago

    In a few months this place will settle down to people angry at Trump and people clinging to a delusion.

  86. Episteme   9 years ago

    Christie will be awarded the coveted position of First Pet and given his own doghouse on the South Lawn.

  87. A Cynic's Guide to Zen   9 years ago

    Jealous of John's moistness?

  88. robc   9 years ago

    joe might even stop being a complete troll, like back during the Bush years.

  89. paranoid android   9 years ago

    Yeah, I get just wanting to enjoy the schadenfreude of lefties losing, but some people seemed to have actually managed to convince themselves that Trump will do something other than appoint statist fuckwads to every available office, which is just unbelievable to me.

  90. Red Rocks Dickin Bimbos   9 years ago

    I was shocked when he did that. I'm curious which one of his speechwriters threw that in.

  91. SugarFree   9 years ago

    But he will be balanced out by disillusioned Democrats looking for a new home. The newly-minted "libertarian" flood is guaranteed.

  92. Citizen X   9 years ago

    Get your own awesome lady, Tundra.

  93. Brett L   9 years ago

    This.

  94. Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)   9 years ago

    Some (proggie, of course) friends of mine on the DerpBook were lamenting Trump's election, saying it would devastate medical research funding. I caused a ruckus by suggesting FedGov wasn't the best source of money for research.

  95. Holger da Dane   9 years ago

    I thought you were a Johnson-man?

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