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The Fifth Column

Weld's Bells and Other Late Campaign Hits: The New Fifth Column

Kmele talks race politics from Eastern Island, while Moynihan and Welch try to figure out what William Weld wrought

Matt Welch | 11.3.2016 6:39 PM

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Such is Kmele Foster's dedication to the craft of podcasting that the would-be 2020 candidate called into this week's edition of The Fifth Column via cell phone from Easter freaking Island, where he engaged in (surprise!) apologetics for Donald Trump's handling of David Duke's enthusiasm for his campaign. (In fairness, this was recorded before Trump's crappier son Eric said that Duke "deserves a bullet.")

Other topics of conversation in this, the last Sedition before the Sweet Meteor of Death delivers us all eternal release: Bill Weld's defense of the statist president-to-probably-be, whether any other Libertarian Party configuration could have produced better results, the human SJW centipede devouring Amy Schumer, and the preponderance in broadcast media of people who pretend to know subjects they are utterly unfamiliar with. Listen up here:

URLs at which you can download, interact with, recommend to your friends about, and write reviews of, The Fifth Column include: iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, wethefifth.com, @wethefifth, and Facebook.

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NEXT: FBI Springs a Million Leaks, Twitter Removing Deceptive Text-Voting Ads, Police Don't Know Why Iowa Man Killed Officers: P.M. Links

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

The Fifth ColumnBill WeldLibertarian PartyDonald TrumpRacism
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  1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    Trump's crappier son Eric

    He has more than 1?

    I don't see how saying that David Duke 'deserves a bullet' is really all that awful. I mean, its not-quite-"Woodchipper"-talk, which is the sort of thing that can get you in real trouble.

    He also said =

    "My father's the first Republican who's gone out and said, 'Listen, what's happened to the African-American community is horrible and I'm going to take care of it.'""

    I suppose he means *since* Lincoln. I mean, you can't expect much from kids these days and their Wikipedia.

    1. Hyperion   9 years ago

      For today's kids, history started with the great period of enlightenment, the Bolshevik revolution that is. Then America ruined it. So it's time to once again rebuild the great revolution so utopia will reappear.

      1. John Titor   9 years ago

        If you think any American children/teenagers can even articulate a propagandized version of the Bolshevik revolution I want to know what you're on.

        1. Pan Zagloba   9 years ago

          Best we can hope for is a DLC for Battlefield 1 centered on Russian Civil War.

          1. John Titor   9 years ago

            "And then Lenin totally drove his Battle-Train straight into St. Petersburg and no-scoped Kerensky right in his stupid camping bitch face."

            1. DOOMco   9 years ago

              Ha! He didnt 360 no scope!

            2. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

              LAG!

            3. Agammamon   9 years ago

              ITS A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY!

    2. Agammamon   9 years ago

      By party

      The original House version:[21]

      Democratic Party: 152?96 (61?39%)
      Republican Party: 138?34 (80?20%)

      Cloture in the Senate:[22]

      Democratic Party: 44?23 (66?34%)
      Republican Party: 27?6 (82?18%)

      The Senate version:[21]

      Democratic Party: 46?21 (69?31%)
      Republican Party: 27?6 (82?18%)

      The Senate version, voted on by the House:[21]

      Democratic Party: 153?91 (63?37%)
      Republican Party: 136?35 (80?20%)

      Or, you know, since 1964.

    3. Raymond Luxury Yach-t   9 years ago

      Didn't President Obama actually kill a U.S. citizen without due process for basically his speech? Some imam shit inciting ISIS or something?

  2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    URLs at which you can download, interact with, recommend to your friends about, and write reviews of, The Fifth Column include: iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, wethefifth.com, @wethefifth, and Facebook.

    I guess the guy who has been complaining *(it wasn't me!) that they couldn't DL the thing has finally been heard.

    Actually, my bitch was that i couldn't link to a specific time in the playback. Still don't know if that's possible.

  3. Hyperion   9 years ago

    "What William Weld wrought"

    Shit?

  4. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Little known fact: When Foster threw up in his mouth, it came out counterclockwise. It's a southern hemisphere thing.

    1. Matt Welch   9 years ago

      I was seriously going to make this joke, but Moynihan interrupted me. Which should make both of us feel a little dirty.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        Speaks more to the dearth of quality hemispheric joke options.

  5. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

    Turns out Uday and Qusay Trump have donated to Hillary in the past but won't donate to their father:

    Even Trump's Kids Haven't Donated to His Campaign

    No Ivanka. No Donald Jr. No Rudy, Newt, or Chris Christie. None of Trump's inner circle invested in his campaign?even as he asked working people for a few bucks

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/a.....paign.html

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Pay that bet off yet?

      "Money order"...heh heh.

  6. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Also, for the love of God, please equalize the loudness and turn the volume up, especially for Moynihan's mic. His Swedish accent already makes him difficult to understand.

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Hey mister
      Please mister dj
      Equalize the loudness
      And turn the volume up

  7. Pan Zagloba   9 years ago

    Why did I click the Schumer link?

    Why then did I click "Show Comments" below the article?

    Why can't I learn?

    Help me, Judge Napolitano!

    1. Microaggressor   9 years ago

      I've seen derper.
      It's comforting to know the bigger social justice gets, the more it fractures and its adherents are exposed for their blatant racism.

      1. Microaggressor   9 years ago

        It would appear (to me, the white woman so my opinion probably has less importance)

        Hnnnggg

  8. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

    OT: http://www.cnbc.com/2016/11/03.....-cafe.html

    Genf....I tells ya.

    1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Robot sex? I know there was something perverted about those Daleks.

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        ...or should I say Doll-eks.

        Quick, get me the BBC Marketing Department!

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          "The Daleks aren't robots, you imbecile, they are cyborgs!"

          /Comic Book Guy

      2. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

        Eee-ja-cu-late! Eee-ja-cu-late!

  9. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    How dare you cut Kmele off!

    The podcasts are really good when the three of you are on at the same time, even via cell phone. Just like TLC, The Fifth Column isn't the same when all three members aren't present. Sexy and Cool shine brightest when Crazy is added to the mix.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Also, you guys are going to get so much hate mail from a bunch of schlubby white guys in Alabama.

  10. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

    Huh, Hillary Clinton admitted in front of God and everyone that she had to practice a "listening woman face" for the debates. Fuck, she really is a robot.

  11. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

    MOYNIHAN ISN'T BEING HEARD!

    1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      Yeah! Chad.

  12. waffles   9 years ago

    "You're Bill Weld to me"

    Ice. Cold.

  13. Rockabilly   9 years ago

    A Kmele/Kennedy ticket would bring a prog to apoplexy

    1. Pan Zagloba   9 years ago

      Prediction: would be nicknamed The KKKampaign.

  14. BigT   9 years ago

    Haha! Welch goes off on Weld for the same thing he does. Squish.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      There are levels of squish.

  15. janelltmayfield   9 years ago

    I've made $64,000 so far this year working online and I'm a full time student. Im using an online business opportunity I heard about and I've made such great money. It's really user friendly and I'm just so happy that I found out about it. Heres what I do,

    ??????? http://YoutubeJobs.Nypost55.com

  16. Raymond Luxury Yach-t   9 years ago

    Kmele doesn't pay you guys? Then he flaunts his wealth by doing the show via satellite from Easter Island. What a capitalist asshole. Seriously, good job.

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