A.M. Links: Hurricane Matthew Heading for Florida, Clinton vs. Trump, Abortion Ban Rejected in Poland

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  • ABC / YouTube

    How Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are preparing for Sunday night's presidential debate.

  • Hurricane Matthew is expected to hit Florida tonight.
  • Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas has been hospitalized and is undergoing heart tests.
  • President Barack Obama's approval rating currently stands at 55 percent, a high for his second term.
  • "A tip from a prison guard has yielded the single largest federal case in Maryland's history: 80 people including corrections officers, inmates and "outside facilitators" have been charged with orchestrating a vast contraband smuggling enterprise that traded drugs, tobacco and cellphones to prisoners for money and sex."
  • Lawmakers in Poland have rejected a total ban on abortion in that country.

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  1. Hurricane Matthew is expected to hit Florida tonight.

    It’s God’s punishment on Florida for looking like a penis.

    1. If I get blown away by the demon hurricane I’m asking Satan to take you first.

      1. I am pure love. The dark lord can’t touch me.

        1. There is a significant difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t’.

        2. That’s why Latex was invented.

        3. You’re made of semen?

    2. On the plus side we aren’t suppose to do elective cases after noon, so it’s going to be a 1/2 day. On the minus side, I have three oak trees in my front yard that might be a concern considering wind speeds.

      1. If those trees fall it means they must have looked like penises.

        1. Did they change its name to Eddie?

        2. If the limbs are the balls, the leaves the pubic hair, the trunk the shaft, then those tree dicks were raping Gaia and deserve her wrath.

      2. I hope they’re not laurel oaks, notorious for breaking in high winds. OTOH a solid tree canopy is better at shedding wind than single trees.

        1. I don’t know the type. They were planted along the road when the neighborhood was built. So if there is a typical decorative variety usually used in landscaping, they’re probably those.

          1. The “new” neighborhood trees commonly planted are fast growers which tend to be weaker and break apart above a certain size. It’s a trade off.

            1. JWatts is correct. If they were planted in the last 50 years, and they are big, it is a laurel oak (a.k.a., swamp oak). The live oaks that look very similar take decades longer to get to their full size.

              We also have a laurel oak in our front yard. Had a tree guy tell us that it is on its way out (60 years old, and has been struck by lightning several times). Luckily it is on county property, so they will remove it for us…

      3. I only had two trees large enough and close enough to damage my house if they fell – an oak and a sweet gum.

        I cut both. The sweet gum is piled up and rotting, the oak went into the fireplace.

        1. I’ve been meaning to have the one nearest to the house trimmed beck, but haven’t gotten around to it. It’s be 12 years since the last big hurricane so I’ve gotten a little complacent.

        2. Big fireplace you got there, Suthen

    3. Hello.

    4. Florida Man has no fear of God’s wrath. He already lives in Heaven.

      1. I assume all Florida Men have a theology like the Mac Nac Feegle. There’s lots of stuff that will fuck you up, plus no shortage of targets to punch. They must have died already and this is heaven.

        1. Sometimes God sends cops, alligators, and hurricanes to give us enough context to see how good the good times are. Sure your girlfriend has gotten to that age where meth doesn’t keep her skinny, and the mountain dew and meth have ruined her grill, but she’ll still get blaze drunk and flash her much bigger, if slightly less firm, tits. But you can still drive less than an hour to a beach where there are young goddesses cavorting in very little. And winter never comes, so you never have to worry about freezing to death if you’re not currently employed.

        2. This would explain why I feel so at home here – my wife often comments (with crossed arms and tapping foot) that I’m part Feegle…

      2. Amen. Of course, I live on the west coast of Florida so I’m thinking this won’t be much more than a bit of wind for us.

  2. How Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are preparing for Sunday night’s presidential debate.

    Prepare?

    1. Be prepared! Yeah, we’ll be prepared!

      ……for what?

        1. *nods head in appreciation*

    2. Her doctors have already prepared the proper dosages of uppers and downers

  3. Lawmakers in Poland have rejected a total ban on abortion in that country.

    The pro-banners got caught in a revolving door.

    1. I heard it was a screen-door on a submarine!

  4. a high for his second term

    Take. The. Hint.

    1. What? That loathsome though he is, Shrillary and Drumpf are worse, so he looks good by comparison?

      1. No, that people like him better when he’s on his way out.

        1. It seems odd to me that a president’s approval rating with the general public lines up so nicely with the MSM’s approval of that president. Or maybe it is expected.

  5. Automotive Journalist, Cannonball Run Founder Brock Yates Dies at 82

    Motor Trend is sad to report the passing of our colleague Brock Yates, former Car and Driver editor and founder of the Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash and One Lap of America events. His son, Brock Yates Jr., broke the news of his passing on Facebook.

    “Today, after suffering with Alzheimer’s for the last 12 years, my father finally succumbed,” Yates Jr. wrote in the post. “He touched many lives, but sadly no more.”

    Born on October 21, 1933, Yates began his career as an automotive journalist in the 1960s, and eventually went on to helm our longtime competitor in 1966. In the 1970s, Yates, with help from another editor, came up with the Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash (or Cannonball Run, for short). The event was an unsanctioned cross-country race devised in protest to the imminent 55-mph national speed limit. The race was held until 1979, and resulted in many cross-country records. Yates wrote a screenplay based on the races that eventually became 1981’s classic “The Cannonball Run.”

    1. +1 Captain Chaos

  6. President Barack Obama’s approval rating currently stands at 55 percent, a high for his second term.

    When you have such two even bigger shitbags running to replace you, the rating should actually be higher.

  7. The creepy clown crisis: White House defers to FBI. Stephen King hits ‘hysteria.’

    “Hey, guys, time to cool the clown hysteria,” King tweeted on Monday, “most of em are good, cheer up the kiddies, make people laugh.”

    King was, for the most part, correct. The vast majority of people employed as clowns are content to brighten days, pie faces and fashion balloons into poodles. (Exceptions to the rule include “Wrinkles,” the Florida clown who will traumatize children for a fee.) Those good clowns are a shrinking population, and reclaiming the clown mantle will take more than goodwill tweets. In school districts and police stations, clown sightings have become a source of discomfort rather than giggles.

    At the moment, the dominant clown strain in the United States ? the one appearing in police and media reports, and what compelled King to defend America’s hard-working jester ? is something altogether more sinister.

    1. See? Stephen Kings gets It.

      1. *joins in gaze*

      2. I didn’t until all the squinting going on. Well done.

      3. They all float.

    2. “Quit trying to be reasonable, we’re not done feeding on the hype!” – the Media

    3. At the moment, the dominant clown strain in the United States ? the one appearing in police and media reports, and what compelled King to defend America’s hard-working jester ? is something altogether more sinister.

      Well, in people’s fevered imaginations, anyway.

    4. CLOWN LIVES MATTER.

      1. That is a real thing now. There is a rally in texas or something. Not shitting you.

    5. I’m more concerned about those clowns down in Washington.

      1. The circus left town. Why on earth did they stick around after that?

      2. “Go ahead. Squeeze the wheeze. Many people like to.”

    6. Man, when this first started like 3 years ago I made jokes about the only sensible Clown Policy being a shoot on sight, but now people are advocating that sincerely and it just takes the fun out of it.

      1. It is OK if you use Silly String to shoot ’em?

    7. “the dominant clown strain”

      This world we live in, man.

      I’m starting to think that it all exists in the imagination of some satirist in a “real world” somewhere. This world is clearly a parody of /something/.

    8. ‘Clown sightings’. Do these line up with UFO sightings?

    9. A local radio host was opining that this “craze” was very very cheap marketing for an upcoming movie.

      1. What I think, too. The black-clad clown in Wisconsin was indeed viral marketing for an indie horror film.

      2. Something like the remake of It maybe?

    10. In October, there are far more clowns out there who will derive their greatest amusement from eviscerating a victim and making a balloon hat from it’s lower bowel.

      They roam every haunted house or trail.

      They lurk in each mid range Halloween Emporium.

      You can hear them on the wind, giggling at the misfortunes of others,
      their bulbous red noses sniffing eagerly for the scent of blood………and cotton candy

      People, like you, Steve King, have worked very hard to make clowns into monsters. And now you have.

      Reap the maelstrom.

  8. Hurricane Matthew is expected to hit Florida tonight.

    It will rock them like a hurricane.

  9. Clinton will hunker down with a select group of aides later this week

    Wink-wink-nudge-nudge!

    1. [vomits]

    2. HILLARY HAS AIDS!!!????!!!!!!!!!!!

      CB

  10. President Barack Obama’s approval rating currently stands at 55 percent, a high for his second term.

    We’re all part of his choom gang, now.

  11. Finally, someone’s made a silicone mask that turns your face into a vagina

    And if someone fancies transforming their face into a giant silicone vagina for the purposes of sexy times, they should go right ahead, free of judgement.

    If that’s not up your alley, however, you can always use this vagina mask ? created by Etsy-er melissacoulter ? as an easy-peasy Halloween costume.

    Not because vaginas are scary, obviously. But because having one stretching across your face is a little unsettling. A person walking around with a vagina instead of a face is, well, unexpected.

    Which makes it a great way to dress up for your next Halloween party with minimal effort. No jazzy outfit required. A vagina mask does all the hard work for you.

    So, without further ado, here is a picture of the vagina mask. It is probably not safe for work.

    1. I need this like I need another hole on my head…

    2. There’s never a bad time to become a vagina.

      Never a bad time of the month?

    3. Well now the insult “fuck face” will be literal. I don’t know if that is a good thing or bad thing.

      1. Good cenobite name, or how about “Gunt-Head”?

        1. I never could piece that movie together. What did the guy think he was buying?

    4. Tim Kane. VP candidate/batman villain.

    5. That mask looks more like a cenobite from Hellraiser.

    6. When someone says to you “Go ahead! No one is going to judge you!” the answer should always be “No”.

      Chances are they have their fingers crossed and a camera within easy reach.

    7. “Not because ***all*** vaginas are scary, obviously.”

      Just sayin.

  12. Why is the Congressional Budget Office claiming that the deficit is only around $600 billion when the public debt increased by over $1.1 trillion during during Fiscal Year 2016?

    Why, it almost makes one feel like we’re being lied to or something.

    1. Have you tried to re-run your numbers using common core?

      1. They just forgot to carry the one.

    2. Just imagine if the Fed quit holding down the interest rates…

      1. *Looks nervously at Venezuela*

    3. I believe it’s for the same reason that Clinton had a “surplus” even though the debt continued to go up every year of his presidency–because the balance on the annual deficit is offset by Social Security receipts on that part of the balance ledger, but not on the public debt side.

    4. Off-budget items.

    5. ’emergency spending’

      Of course, we seem to have the same emergency spending every year, so you’d think it would be budgeted.

      I guess that’s why I’m not fit to be a Congress Critter.

  13. SUPER TERMITE is on way to Europe – and could eat your HOME

    The Formosan termite has never been eradicated from any place where it has become established and feeds on wood fibres and plants so pose a threat to buildings, forests and crops.

    Originally a native to southern China the invasive insects has spread to Taiwan, Japan, Hawaii and southern USA where colonies have become established.

    Their range has been limited until now because the eggs, with one Queen capable of laying over 1,000 eggs a day, will not hatch below about 20C – 68F.

    But global warming could see the termites march northwards threatening Europe’s historic buildings and forests because of rising temperatures.

    1. Boy, they’re really getting creative with their Muslim euphemisms.

    2. I read that as SUPER THERMITE and thought “Well no shit — it’ll eat through just about anything…”

  14. …80 people including corrections officers, inmates and “outside facilitators” have been charged with orchestrating a vast contraband smuggling enterprise that traded drugs, tobacco and cellphones to prisoners for money and sex.

    Unregulated economies are unacceptable. The prison has a commissary system set up for these kinds of things.

    1. It reminds me of Jurassic Park … nature will find a way. So will markets

    2. “I’ve heard that you’re the type of man who knows how to get things”

    3. Whaaa!
      I was assured that WALLS work.

  15. How Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are preparing for Sunday night’s presidential debate.

    Zingers, zingers, and more zingers.

    1. And get that substantive content out of here!

  16. I know this happened like a 100 yrs. ago and Benghazi was right wing conspiracy/witch hunt, but maybe just maybe…

    An arms dealer who had threatened to reveal potentially damaging information about Hillary Clinton’s alleged role in arming Islamist militants until federal prosecutors abruptly dropped their case against him Tuesday, told Fox News the case has cost him everything.

    Federal prosecutors faced a Wednesday deadline to turn over discovery documents to the legal team of American Marc Turi, who had been charged with selling weapons to Libyan rebels. Late Tuesday, an announcement came that the government was dropping the case, which was set to go to trial on Nov. 8 ? the day American voters choose between Clinton and GOP nominee Donald Trump. The move may avert a release of potentially explosive documents.

    “I am glad this horrific five-year ordeal is over and I am pleased to be able to move on with my life,” Turi told Fox News in a statement. “The American public has the right to know that an injustice was committed against an innocent American.”

    Turi said his legal team advised him to accept the deal and avoid a trial, but insisted that his actions were in furtherance of his ongoing support of U.S. foreign policy. He said defending himself in a case that has now been dropped has cost him everything.

    Two things, if he actually had some dirt why would they wait so long to acquit him? and secondly wow.

    1. He’s got Trey Gowdy’s email address, right?

    2. He answered your first question in the article.

      Defending himself has cost him everything. He is broke.

      They didnt drop the charges until it was about to begin costing them something which was sunlight on their actions.

      1. All agencies of the Frd Gov have become politically weaponized under Obama.

  17. 2016 Honobia Bigfoot Festival recap

    “Did you see Bigfoot?” That question is often asked.

    Yes, Bigfoot appeared for photo ops, to the delight of many who posed with him. There were serious discussions by Sasquatch experts, a music festival, three bouncy-houses for children, crafts, archery, and food from Indian tacos to muscadine grape jelly. Free flu shots were given by the Choctaw Nation.

    Tom Hefner, head of the Bigfoot Scholarship fund, said the festival raises money for graduating high school seniors at Clayton, Talihina and Smithville. They gave over $9,000 to May, 2016, graduates.

    Bigfoot art contest winners were Averi Rodriguez for 2 to 10 years; Kooper Gooding for 11 to 15 years, and Rebecca Webb for 16 and up.

    A group from the Talihina Veterans’ Center visited the festival on Friday, listening to music in the Steel Tent, where they were recognized for their service. The Clayton High School Band played “America the Beautiful,” “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and other favorites.

    One popular t-shirt sold by Jolly Winsor, president of the Honobia group, read: “Honobia 2016 –Bigfoot for President!!”

    1. “Honobia 2016 –Bigfoot for President!!”

      STEVE SMITH NOT INTERESTED IN PRESIDENCY, BUT HAS BEEN OFFERED POSITION IN PROSPECTIVE CLINTON CABINET.

      1. SECRETARY OF RAPE – WILL BE NEW CABINET DEPARTMENT.

        1. STEVE SMITH LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING CLOSELY WITH ROLE MODEL, BILL CLINTON.

          1. STEVE SMITH LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING CLOSELY WITH ROLE MODEL, BILL CLINTON.

            FIRST STEVE SMITH THE STUDENT, NOW STEVE SMITH THE MASTER!

    2. Were there any clowns?

    3. Sasquatch experts.

      *facepalm*

      1. No kidding. We have, what hundreds if not thousands of skeletons of extinct N American mammals, but the lack of a single shred of evidence for bigfoot doesn’t dissuade these morons.
        Had a similar experience with a coworker who was a literal ghost hunter. Zero actual ghosts found, but that didn’t stop her from believing!

  18. Will PMU attack US troops in Iraq?

    Factions of Iraq’s Popular Mobilization Units (PMU) are threatening to attack US troops that participate in the battle to liberate Mosul from the Islamic State (IS), but the Iraqi government hopes to smooth things over.

    Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi said his government will work on a consensus formula to convince PMU factions of the need to involve US troops in the battle to resolve the problem as soon as possible. He also hopes to persuade Washington that the PMU is a national force of the Iraqi state and should be part of a special military system to liberate Mosul.

    It seems there is a strong possibility an understanding can be reached ? if the PMU is assured the United States does not intend to build a military base in Ninevah province. Mosul is the capital of Ninevah.

    However, many are not convinced. Hassan al-Kaabi, a member of the PMU backing up the Iraqi government forces, rejects the presence of US troops in the battle for Mosul and believes they are not keen to help Iraqis fight terrorism.

    “I will fight them wherever they are,” he told Al-Monitor. “They are an occupation force that pretends to be assisting us.”

    yes we should commit more troops to this shithole /derp

    1. I was told that President Peaceprize ended the war in Iraq. What’s this ‘US troops in Iraq’ bullshit?

    2. And another question is once mosul is cleared, will the PMU continue on to help their syrian brothers. If 10,000+ PMU head into syria.. it will make things very tough for Saudi, turkey, us and very helpful for assad

    3. If they are that popular, should they really be attacking anyone?

  19. President Barack Obama’s approval rating currently stands at 55 percent, a high for his second term.

    Well maybe the grass isn’t always greener america. Four more years!!

  20. Hurricane Matthew is expected to hit Florida tonight.

    I bet we’re going to see lots of shots of dopey media types like Geraldo Rivera in raincoats standing on a beach being buffeted by rain and heavy winds over the next several hours.

    1. I keep waiting for one of those clowns to actually be killed doing that.

      1. I know. Sooner or later one of them is going to get decapitated by a flying street sign or something.

        1. “We appear to have lost our connection with Geraldo ….”

          1. CAN YA HEAR ME MAJOR JERRY?

      2. I always laugh with some idiot teenagers are fucking around in the background.

        1. The dude running around with the horse head mask was genius.

          1. We had a storm a few years ago where a dude was out on the beach in a Spiderman costume. The reporter asked him why, and he said, “I don’t know. I’m not making very good decisions today.”

            Then he ran away.

            1. Seriously though, I’ve been through massive typhoons and always make sure I go outside to see what it’s like. Wind and rain. People are pussies today.

              1. New game: which one of these folks is straffinrun?

                1. “People who die in storms and hurricanes probably didn’t think it would happen to them that day.”

                  Ok. You guys keep claiming peak derp isn’t attainable, but I see it on the horizon.

                  1. Fake but funny.

            2. Ok, i misremembered the quote, but it’s still pretty funny.

        2. It takes a real stormtrooper to get his miles in during a hurricane.

    2. Honestly, I’d love to have that job.

      Given that they’ve been doing it for decades and none have been killed, I think they probably know enough to stay out of the really dangerous situations.

      1. I’ve always though that being a Hurricane Hunter would be the coolest job.

        1. You mean the people who fly airplanes into the storms? That would be something. And I think they have a good safety record.

        2. If you like to go unemployed for years at a time…

      2. Not so sure about that. Ended up watching all the local news feeds when Hermine hit north of here – they had field reporters out standing in waist deep water (that turns out was often contaminated by half treated waste) for hours on end, reporting over and over that yes, it was still raining, and yes, it was still windy.

        I think I’d re-think my career choice if my boss came to me with instructions to stand in waist deep waste water during a lightning-filled hurricane…

        1. Lightning is pretty rare in hurricanes, I think.

          Maybe it would get old, but I really like exposing myself to big storms as much as reasonably possible.

    3. My favorite was the female weather anchor in the fucking canoe acting like flooding was out of control while people waded through the shin-high water behind her.

    4. My favorite was the female weather anchor in the fucking canoe acting like flooding was out of control while people waded through the shin-high water behind her.

      1. FIne, Squirrels, I will add a link.

  21. Warty’s left nutsack?

    Where Is the Rest of the Universe?

    Weakly interacting massive particles, or WIMPs, are some of the strongest contenders to explain dark matter. WIMPs are heavy particles ? about 10 to 100 times heavier than a proton ? that were produced during the Big Bang, though just small quantities are left today. These particles interact with normal matter via gravity or the weak nuclear force. More massive WIMPs would move more slowly through space, and therefore be “cold” dark-matter candidates, while lighter ones would move faster, and be “warm” dark matter. [Wacky Physics:

    One way to find them is in “direct detection” experiments, such as the Large Underground Xenon (LUX) experiment, which is a container of liquid xenon in a South Dakota mine. If a xenon nucleus seems to “bounce” with no explanation, that would be a candidate for getting hit with a dark-matter particle. The magnitude of the bounce would give an idea of the new particle’s mass. But Hooper said that LUX hasn’t seen anything yet.

    Another way to see the WIMPs might be particle accelerators. Inside accelerators, atomic nuclei smash into each at near the speed of light, and in the process that energy of the collision gets turned into other particles, some new to science. So far, though, particle accelerators haven’t detected anything that looks like a dark matter candidate, either.

    1. Its right in front of us. We just never had the data to realize there were two (and maybe more) gravitational regions.

      1. I watched an interesting talk about the relative merits of dark matter and modified gravity theories. The person giving the talk (can’t remember who, maybe Leonard Susskind) concluded that dark matter seemed more likely. But it’s good not to put all the eggs in the dark matter basket, I think.

        1. Both have their downsides. I like MOND because it doesn’t require us to generate 70% of the mass of the universe in non-interacting particles because “it must be there because the theory explains the visible region so well.”, but it does require us to have a discontinuity in the theory of gravity where it transitions from an inverse square law to an inverse. I prefer to believe that the universe and the observable universe are nearer to unity than the Einstein-Newton gravity equations require it to be.

          1. I try not to prefer one answer or another.

            I like what Richard Feynman said to people who didn’t like the weirdness of quantum physics. If you don’t like it, too bad (unless you can come up with another theory that describes things as well). Of course, QED is a much more thoroughly tested theory than dark matter. The universe doesn’t owe us aesthetically or philosophically pleasing laws of physics.

  22. Tech billionaires convinced we live in the Matrix are secretly funding scientists to help break us out of it

    Mr Musk spoke earlier this year about the fact that he believes that the chance that we are not living in a computer simulation is “one in billions”. He said that he had come to that conclusion after a chat in a hot tub

    HAHAHAHAHAAA!!

    1. I would actually be pleasantly surprised if there wasn’t some gov. agency/taskforce tasked with this as its mission, because some fucktard in congress thought the Matrix was a documentary or wanted to get his son a job so he would finally leave the tinfoiled lined walls of his basement.

    2. Wow. Musk is an idiot or crazy or both.

      1. Musk probably has some plan that involves him getting paid by the GOV to research the issue.

    3. “he believes that the chance that we are not living in a computer simulation is ‘one in billions'”

      As above, it’s not a computer simulation, it’s clearly intended to be a comedic parody of a “real world” out there.

      1. I always appreciated the humor of World as Myth.

        I just wish I hadn’t gotten dropped into ‘Animal Farm’.

    4. On a more serious note, I’ve seen this argument before.

      It goes something like “Eventually society will develop a computer that can completely simulate the entire universe and will use it. Therefore, their simulated universe will also develop a simulated universe, which will make another, and another. Therefore, there’s a greater chance that we are one of the infinitely recursive simulated universe than there is that we are the original real universe.”

      Except the entire argument is predicated on the idea that making a computer that can simulate the entire universe is POSSIBLE.

      It’s clearly NOT POSSIBLE, as the data necessary to store every detail about the whole universe would NECESSARILY require a computer big enough to store all that data, which would be bigger in size then all the matter in the real universe.

      So yeah, Musk is just parroting pseudo-intellectual nonsense that people use to try to sound smart or deep. Which is pretty much as he always does.

      1. Speaking of simulated universes, I finished no man’s sky yesterday. I will never buy another game from Hello.

        1. I usually put interesting-sounding new games on a waitlist that pings me when they’re on sale below a certain price. I threw No Man’s Sky on for fifteen bucks or something when it was on Colbert, and every week or so since release I’ve been sheepishly going back to the site and adjusting my cutoff price down a few more dollars after reading the latest shitstorm going on with it. My cheapness seems to have spared me a lot of disappointment in this case.

          1. At least there appears to be a chance that Rimworld will make up for it, though.

        2. Wait, you actually finished it? Most of the people I know stopped playing after a week or two in the vain hope that maybe all the lame shit would get fixed at a later date.

          1. Once I figured out how to get to the center quickly I ground it out. It was not worth the effort. Terrible game.

      2. Except that we don’t really need to simulate the whole universe. We just need to simulate the Earth’s light cone consistently (not even correctly).

        1. Or, if you are into solipsism, you just need to simulate your perception of the universe.

          1. Right. It depends on which simulation theory we are talking about. If nobody shares it, your view is even easier to simulate.

    5. He said that he had come to that conclusion after a chat in a hot tub

      So the comedy Silicon Valley is actually a documentary

      1. Like Office Space, everyone who lives in that culture knows its a documentary, everyone outside the culture assumes it is a farce.

        1. So like the inverse of VEEP, everyone knows thats how it really works but the people on the inside pretend that its not? Love both shows.

        2. Office Space is real. Depressingly real.

          *looks around office, sighs, shakes head & resumes work on today’s TP report*

    6. Joke’s on them, it’s actually a magic spell. There’s no magic in the metaphysics of the illusory world, however, so no one can develop enough skill at sorcery to break the spell.

      1. But seriously, if this is all a simulation, then most of us are probably NPCs, not people trapped in a jar. “Breaking out” might not be possible, and if it was, it would be more like a “AI escapes into the real world and starts causing havoc” sci-fi nightmare scenario. To say nothing of the fact that in a society advanced enough to create such a simulation, we’d basically be cavemen.

    1. Shower scene with her washing her hair, JFK’s blood running down her back. Hope she used Head and shoulders.

    2. I take back everything I said about reboots and superhero movies, let’s have more of those and fewer political hagiographies.

      FFS what is this market for this? Paul Krugman sitting alone in a theater, furiously masturbating?

      1. FFS what is this market for this?

        Are you joking? Kennedy worship is alive and well.

  23. Slate runs a hit piece on Scott Adams. I’m not sure why. /sarc

    1. Serious question: Is Adams standing by his prediction of a Trump landslide?

        1. “Lingusite” is an excellent johno. Perhaps it describes SugarFree?

        2. No, linguini killshot. He is a penne man.

          1. “Langostino killshot” – scuttling rapidly backwards away from one’s comments.

      1. Yes.

        1. Thank you, EBS.

          1. Like usual, he keeps hedging his bets.

            Like a month ago he claimed that Clinton was going to win “unless something happened to change that”, but went on to say it was “almost certain” one of the things he thought would change it would happen. He’s now gone back to complete endorsement of a “landslide” because a few of the things he said would change Clinton’s apparent victory have all happened.

            1. I would be reading with fascination if he had stuck to his guns. He’s a good writer.

              I’m kinda hate-reading him now instead. He does way too much hedging and it’s completely ludicrous that he spent so much time building up Trump as the One True Persuader and then suddenly went “oh, Clinton’s got a One True Persuader too!” when she tried the shockingly novel strategy of “calling him scary.”

    2. Adams believes it’s part of an overarching conspiracy against him, with the article coming out the same week he was shadowbanned by Twitter.

      1. Well, we all know leftists would never organize to socially and financially ruin the people they see as enemies. Maybe Scott Adams should move to North Carolina.

      2. Pretty sure Catbert is behind it, he needs to hire Mr Garibaldi stat

  24. 4 Amazing Connections Between Feminism and Yoga

    Warning: Word salad ahead

    Yogic philosophy also holds values such as ahimsa, or nonviolence, and kharma, or selfless action, at its core. Yoga, like feminism, seeks to dismantle and deconstruct cultural notions and belief systems through critical thinking, or kind questioning.

    It values non-duality and fluidity of the self and in our expression of gender. The idea of “wiping the fog from the mirror” is a common one in yoga ? that we can wipe away that which clouds our clarity, that we can be increasingly conscious and awake to what is happening around us.

    Yoga, then, can teach us not only to let go of harmful and rigid constructions of self as we heal from trauma, but fills that space with a framework grounded in liberation and taking action.

    1. Yoga pants and leggings also really enhance the ass.

    2. 5) “Yoga” and “Yoni” sort of sound alike.

      1. “Welcome to Krav Maga class. My name is Yoni, which in Hebrew means ‘brave warrior.’ Unfortunately, in Sanskrit, it means ‘female genitals.'”

        1. Every day I find myself having to google something I read in H&R to expand my word power
          There should be continuing education credit given out for reading the comments in AM and PM links

    3. “Yogic philosophy also holds values such as ahimsa, or nonviolence, and kharma, or selfless action, at its core.”

      Which are *totally* the concepts I think of when I hear the term “feminism.”

      1. “Oh, I thought you said ‘asthma’. Never mind.”

    4. Yogic philosophy also holds values such as ahimsa, or nonviolence

      I wouldn’t call stealing picnic baskets “nonviolent.”

      1. I almost choked on my coffee.

    5. “ahimsa, or nonviolence, and kharma, or selfless action”

      Ahimsa’s not just nonviolence it’s avoiding any harm on other beings.

      Karma’s not even close to being “selfless action”, it’s a supposed metaphysical mechanism of the universe whereby good deeds are rewarded and bad deeds are punished, either in this life or the next. In some ways, you could argue there even is no such thing as “selfless action” with karma because the entirety of the concept is that no good deed goes unrewarded, so you’ll get something in return for any charitable thing you do, therefore it cannot be called “selfless”.

      1. While you’re kicking sand in their face, you might remind them that the yoga that Americans practice today is all descended from a late-19th century gymnastics/calisthenic routine to strengthen Hindi MEN.

    6. #5…

      They’re both completely made up bullshit with no relation to how the world actually works

      #6…

      Stuck up narcissists who like to pretend they are something else are really attracted to both forms of bullshit philosophy

    7. “The idea of “wiping the fog from the mirror” is a common one in yoga..”

      Meh. Just leave a door cracked during your shower & it won’t fog up in the first place.

      Dumb yoga person.

    8. Yoga, like feminism, seeks to dismantle and deconstruct cultural notions and belief systems through critical thinking, or kind questioning.

      Since feminism, as it is defined by society today, has no connection to critical thinking of kind questioning. And while feminist goals likely include dismantling/deconstructing current norms and beliefs, this has never happened and never can since they start with faulty fundamental principles.

      They’ve slightly succeeded in getting many others to agree to their faulty worldview, but it’s not really changing society at large because it doesn’t match reality.

      It’s almost equivalent to thinking we can fix racsim by giving white supremacists glasses which shows all humans, regardless of actual race, to be Caucasian. So sure, feminists have gotten people to agree to use the feminist’s incorrect filtered view of the world, but as this has no impact on the world itself, the impact is minimal and temporary…..but I digress.

      1. Main point is only if Yoga is using similar logic or critical thinking as compared to feminists, it doesn’t say much about Yoga. My guess is if Yoga were an entity dedicated to teaching yoga for health/stress benefits, they would probably prefer to not be associated with feminists our any other political group.

        And if Yoga has to coincide with feminism or other political worldviews, it seems weak/not strong enough to stand on its own.

        In any event, all it really shows that yoga and feminism are conflated, is the continuing societal march towards politicizing everything.

        Anyone know what the politics of P90X? Boxing gyms? Squats?

  25. Just a happy little accident…

    Once lauded as a peacemaker, Obama’s tenure fraught with war

    On matters of war and peace, Obama has proven to be a confounding and contradictory figure, one who stands to leave behind both devastating and pressing failures, as well as a set of fresh accomplishments whose impact could resonate for decades.

    He is the erstwhile anti-war candidate, now engaged in more theaters of war than his predecessor. He is the commander-in-chief who pulled more than a hundred thousand U.S. troops out of harm’s way in Iraq, but also began a slow trickle back in. He recoiled against full-scale, conventional war, while embracing the brave new world of drone attacks. He has championed diplomacy on climate change, nuclear proliferation and has torn down walls to Cuba and Myanmar, but failed repeatedly to broker a lasting pause to more than six years of slaughter in Syria.

    If there was consensus Obama had not yet earned his Nobel Peace Prize when he received it in 2009, there’s little such agreement on whether he deserves it today.

    1. Here’s your peace prize. You just have to cross this red line here to get it.

      1. *villagers immediately gassed by US backed jihadis*

        1. I’ll make the movie: Blowback Mountain.

          1. As Biden and Obama were laying shirtless under the stars, Obama leaned over Biden’s face until he could smell the Hennessy on his breath and he said “I don’t know how to quit you.”

    2. as well as a set of fresh accomplishments whose impact could resonate for decades

      Such as…. Obamacare? His son Trayvon? Toppling of anti-Islamist leaders? The migrant crisis threatening to swallow Europe? Economic stagnation? Hyperegulation? I’d love it if anyone could sincerely name one fucking accomplishment of his.

      1. The only positive thing I can come up with is that Osama Bin Laden died while Obama was in office. That’s it. Everything else that Obama has been involved with, either directly or indirectly, has either been an absolute failure or disappointing at best.

        1. Obama didn’t do shit. If an undercooked turkey were occupying the Oval Office at the time, the spy agencies and military personnel would still have found and killed the guy. It’s not like Obama was exactly leading the investigation.

          1. You fail to credit Obama’s unflinching bravery in green lighting the operation weeks before his chance at reelection.

            If it had been a failure his legacy would forever be handcuffed to that Loser Carter.

            That my friend, is true bravery.

        2. Obama has 386 accomplishments, if you are generous in what you count as an accomplishment that he gets credit for and do not distinguish between positive and negative accomplishments

          Improved the Freedom of Information Act and issued new guidelines to make FOIA more open and transparent
          Provided the first voluntary disclosure of the White House Visitors Log in history
          GM was in such good financial shape, they gave a share of the profit to each worker, with checks up to $11,000
          Worked with Apple Computer to get them to build more product here
          As of August 2016, there have been 78 consecutive months of private sector job growth
          Oversaw a reduction in the federal budget deficit by two-thirds since taking office
          Scolds Congress
          Blocked a monopolistic merger of Staples and Office Depot, to preserve at least some competition
          Stock market has reached record highs, restoring most of the economic losses felt during the Bush Recession
          Set up rules for banks in handling legal marijuana money
          Blocks the merger of several health insurers to ensure that competition remains in the health insurance business
          Gave up some executive power, promising to create adversarial process in FISA regarding NSA surveillance
          Limited local police acquisitions of military-style equipment, to reduce the likelihood of overkill.

          1. Improved the Freedom of Information Act and issued new guidelines to make FOIA more open and transparent

            That must be the punchline of an uncompleted joke.

            Provided the first voluntary disclosure of the White House Visitors Log in history

            Is that impressive or something?

            GM was in such good financial shape, they gave a share of the profit to each worker, with checks up to $11,000

            The auto bailout was most decidedly not a good thing, much less in the fact that they violated the property rights of creditors and shareholders.

            Worked with Apple Computer to get them to build more product here

            So he exchanged political favors for some positive PR with no real gain.

            As of August 2016, there have been 78 consecutive months of private sector job growth

            This is the biggest crock of shit of them all. Those jobs are shit and many of them are part time. There has not been one single net full time breadwinner job created since he took office.

            Oversaw a reduction in the federal budget deficit by two-thirds since taking office

            With projected outlays skyrocketing and overall spending increasing and failing to pass a budget with his own party in a supermajority.

          2. Scolds Congress

            Rethuglikkkan Obstructionism Bad!

            Blocked a monopolistic merger of Staples and Office Depot, to preserve at least some competition

            That’s total bullshit. Prevented a monopoly of office supplies retailers? More like prevented property owners from exercising their property rights. They were never going to be a monopoly, it’s fucking retail, not commodity production.

            Stock market has reached record highs, restoring most of the economic losses felt during the Bush

            Not a sign of a healthy economy. It’s a sign that tax, welfare and regulatory incentives are artificially herding money into the stock market, making it more volatile and less predictable.

            Set up rules for banks in handling legal marijuana money

            While simultaneously cracking down on producers and retailers that are in compliance with state law.

            Blocks the merger of several health insurers to ensure that competition remains in the health insurance business

            It’s already a cartel system. Moreover, I doubt that the feds know more about the economic sense of a merger than the property owners themselves do.

            Gave up some executive power, promising to create adversarial process in FISA regarding NSA surveillance

            Executive power has never been more robust and wide in scope. And promises mean precisely nothing.

            1. Blocked a monopolistic merger of Staples and Office Depot, to preserve at least some competition

              As if Amazon doesn’t offer office supplies and crappy office furniture, and threaten the survival of office supply big box stores.

          3. Limited local police acquisitions of military-style equipment, to reduce the likelihood of overkill.

            But didn’t forbid it, didn’t reduce the likelihood of anything and has utterly shunned meaningful police reform. Unless optional body cameras and pinning the problem with policing on racism counts as reform.

          4. Stock market has reached record highs, restoring most of the economic losses felt during the Bush Recession

            What the FUCK?

            1. The Dow is The Economy!

        3. Well, Obama has recently finally gotten around to pardoning a lot of people who should have been pardoned a lot earlier, so I like that he’s finally started doing that.

          1. That’s like saying he’s accomplished because he fulfilled a basic duty of his job. Ross Ulbricht is still locked up and Edward Snowden is still hiding for fear of “extraordinary rendition”.

          2. Obama has recently finally gotten around to pardoning a lot of people

            Nope. Commutations, not pardons.

      2. Getting SCOTUS to beclown itself with the lickspittle ACA rulings?

      3. I’ll bite … Obama did pardon some victimless criminals, allowing them to leave federal prison early.

        And, at least, he didn’t “bomb, bomb, bomb Iran” like McCain joked about.

        Other than that, though, Obama has been a dismal failure. In a couple of centuries, history may find that he was worse than Bush. But for the rest of our lifetimes the court intellectuals, historians, and media will celebrate his joyous reign, and put all blame for the dismal present situation and all future disasters on his predecessor and his successor.

        1. And, at least, he didn’t “bomb, bomb, bomb Iran” like McCain joked about.

          He didn’t bomb Tajikstan or Sri Lanka either. Someone get that guy a medal.

        2. He didn’t bomb Iran CATO. He just gave them a few hundred billion dollars in cash. I am not seeing how that is any better. And we are now closer to having a nuclear holocaust with Russia than we have ever been. And he also assassinated two American citizens, something even McCain would not have done or gotten away with if had.

          But whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the night I guess.

    3. Obvious racist, this writer.

  26. 80 people including corrections officers, inmates and “outside facilitators” have been charged with orchestrating a vast contraband smuggling enterprise that traded drugs, tobacco and cellphones to prisoners for money and sex.”

    Market failure or free market FTW? Either way, the government should just make a law making this sort of thing illegal and that’ll put an end to it.

    1. And where will you put people who break those laws, smart guy?

    2. As there is no such thing as market failure, I think that answers the question.

  27. The Male Gaze is Omnipresent

    Hey feminist friends, male harassment in public space ever get you down? Cause it’s sure as hell been getting me down lately.

    These days I feel like everywhere I turn, there’s another douchebag with googly eyes making me contemplate militant lesbian separatism.

    Enter some interesting new work by Durham University feminist scholar Fiona Vera-Gray, who has done a too-real study of what most women who have ever ventured into public space know to be true ? that we spend a shit load of time adjusting our behavior out of fear of male harassment. From the classic “quick-walk-with-your-head-down” to the contemporary “checking your phone and putting your headphones on,” women are constantly adjusting our behavior due to a near-constant feeling of anxiety in public space. This anticipation of danger, coupled with actual incidents of verbal harassment or even assault, conspire to restrict our freedom of mobility. And coupled with other systems, like racist violence and class oppression, these restrictions upon our right to public space can compound.

    1. hmm… I never noticed this behavior by my wife. Of course my beautiful body is bound to attract the attention of both (and other) sexes.

    2. I check my phone and put my headphones on so as to avoid human contact in public, too. Y’all cishet patriarchal shitlords apparently need to quit oppressing me with your eyes.

      1. *narrows oppressive gaze*

      1. Of course. She hails from the “Andrea Dworkin School of Complain About Constant Sexual Harassment (even though I’m a fat nasty pig)”.

      2. So orthodontia is patriarchy too, huh?

      3. needs braces?

        to cut some carbs and/or calories?

        1. Tools of the patriarchy, shitlord.

      4. Reina Gattuso writes about her sex life for the good of human kind.

        BAAARRRFFF!

      5. “It’s your teeth, Reina. I don’t know whether to smile or kick a field goal.”

    3. women are constantly adjusting our behavior due to a near-constant feeling of anxiety in public space

      Stop projecting your issues onto your entire gender, is that so much to ask?

      1. coupled with actual incidents of verbal harassment or even assault, conspire to restrict our freedom of mobility.

        I’ll take things that almost never actually happen for $500, Alex.

    4. What about the female gaze? Huh? My eyes are up here, thank you very much.

      1. Sorry!

        1. WOW EF is a crotch watcher but Crusty’s package? Really?

          eww

    5. This anticipation of danger, coupled with actual incidents of verbal harassment or even assault, conspire to restrict our freedom of mobility.

      ::Feminist forebears upend traditional social norms and mores::
      ::Ideological descendants can’t understand why men don’t act more respectfully::

      1. The upending of traditional social norms and mores was only supposed to free women from social constraints, not Men too!

    6. Bothered by the male gaze? Feeling fat shamed?

      That’s why the burqa was invented. That’s why devout Muslim men forbid their women to go out in public. It’s just wonderful that the modern feminist movement is beginning to understand the precepts of Islamic practice.

      1. This woman was born to be covered by a head-to-toe Islamic drycleaning bag, er, I mean “garment.”

    7. So a man looking at you makes you want to be with women. Hmm. What could it mean?

    8. These days I feel like everywhere I turn, there’s another douchebag with googly eyes making me contemplate militant lesbian separatism.

      How dare these subhuman creatures look at me!

      What a cunt.

      1. Progressives are taking over an explicitly right wing institution. So much for them only taking over every other institution. Now they are taking over right wing ones as well.

        You can’t overstate how disgusting this is. I can’t seem to recall CATO being so reasonable about other rights. Hey, lets be reasonable about warrantless searches or NSA spying or (gasp) sacred gay rights. Don’t seem them saying any of that.

        They are all about being reasonable about gun rights. And are perfectly aware and happy knowing that this paper will be used by leftists to troll the hell out of those who do care about gun rights by pointing to it and saying “see even one of your own thinks you are nuts”. Thanks CATO.

        Culture matters. People care about and are the most conservative about things they know and understand. I bet no one employed at CATO or reason owns a gun or comes from a family that has a tradition of gun ownership. They may have fired a gun a few times on safari out in the wilds of Falls Church observing the exotic culture at NRA headquarters but none of them do or would ever own one. So they just don’t care about the issue. It is just another thing to look reasonable and trade away for the issues they do care about, which of course always boil down to the things douche bag I 95 urbanites care about; access to cheap consumer goods, food trucks, uber, gays and sticking it to the evil Fundies.

        1. CATO is mostly Chicago school acolytes, utilitarians for the most part, not actual advocates of liberty and free markets. People that are pro-liberty for utilitarian reasons as opposed to principled moral ones, are always going to be more susceptible to being seduced by the left.

        2. Fuck Cato and their progtarded interpretation of the second amendment.

    1. Just one more law away from perfection, comrade!

      1. Today’s “reasonable compromise” is tomorrow’s loophole that needs to be closed.

        1. I like that… nice!

    2. Just the tip, honey, I promise.

    3. Ah yes. The Cato Institute. This kind of relativist shit right here is why I have no use for them.

    4. To my knowledge, no actual or potential (civilian) victim has fired dozens of rounds in self-defense. Perhaps that suggests a ban on magazines with more than, say, 20 rounds.

      That’s some *mighty* fine logic.

      Let’s see ….

      “To my knowledge, no actual or potential (civilian) victim has driven more than a few miles in self-defense. Perhaps that suggests a ban on gas tanks holding more than, say, half a gallon.”

      1. To my knowledge, most think tank members publish no more than three papers a year. Perhaps that suggests a limit on the amount of political speech one can indulge in.”

    5. The task, therefore, is to identify semi-automatic weapons that are not commonly used and not needed for lawful purposes. The 1994 Assault Weapons Ban went too far, but a more limited version might be viable.

      I’m sure that “not needed for lawful purposes” part would be very contained.

      1. Last I looked shooting shit out in the country for fun was a “lawful purpose”. So is having it in my basement to look at and talk about. Last I looked “because I like it” is perfectly lawful.

        Someone needs to ask Levy, do people really need to be having ass sex? Isn’t oral sex and heavy petting enough? Last I looked ass sex is commonly not used for lawful purposes. Maybe we should ban that too.

        1. Nooooo! Next you’ll be after me mexicans and pot!!!!!!

          1. And let’s not forget Doherty’s “who cares about gun rights, the real issue is the size of government and the debt” piece in reason last month.

            Sorry gun owners, the self appointed Libertarian elite just are not that into you. Get under the bus with the religious nuts (except Muslims of course), we are trying to look reasonable.

            Assholes.

      2. “not needed for lawful purposes”

        They are SO needed, how else to deal with the scourge of KLOWNZ?!

      3. Since when does “need” have anything to do with rights? Fuck CATO.

      4. What kind of tortured reasoning is Cato pushing here? The “Assault Weapons Ban” was largely targeted towards cosmetic features and was ultimately worthless as a result, which is primarily why it was allowed to expire. What “limited version” would be even less restrictive than silly cosmetic feature bans?

        The “not commonly used and not needed for lawful purposes” is the ultimate in prog-weasel word argumentation and should basically end any notion of Cato being a libertarian organization. I don’t “need” my .357 Ruger or Mossberg, either, but that’s not the damn point. The point is that I have the right to exercise the means to defend myself and my family from harm. I’ve chosen to do that with the aforementioned firearms, but if someone decides they’d rather do it with a 5.56 AR-15, then they’re allowed to do so on purely moral grounds. Hell, if they want to do that with a tank, I don’t have a problem with that, either.

        These people don’t even know what the fuck they’re arguing.

        1. Once you go down the rabbit hole of saying a right is subject to “reasonable” restrictions or is only available where you “need” it, you are just negotiating the terms of the surrender. CATO of course knows this. They have seen what the Supreme Court has done to the 4th Amendment. They certainly understand the slippery slope that such justifications are for things like NSA spying and such. Yet, they embrace it here.

          They have to know where this leads and just don’t care.

    6. They’re the Michael Hihn of institutes.

      1. Man, that is cold.

      2. Credit where credit is due – that’s a pretty sick burn, Mikey.

        Of course, Hihn has been around much, much longer than the Cato Institute.

    7. I’ve said before that I’ll give up my guns when they’re no longer in “common use”. Meaning that when the cops give up their black rifle, I give up mine.

      1. And I will CONSIDER giving up mine when all the militaries in the world, as well as the police, give up theirs.

        CB

      2. That’s African-American rifle, thank you.

        Jeez.

  28. President Barack Obama’s approval rating currently stands at 55 percent, a high for his second term.

    How is this even possible. I know there’s a critical mass of stupid people in society but Jesus Christ. Everything he’s ever touched has turned to shit.

    1. Because Clinton and Trump have done a stellar job of showing you just how much worse it can be.

    2. Because people like him better when they know he’s leaving, and he’s not actively fucking anything up.

  29. Behold our dear leader. Liberals being liars. I mean, why call it a carbon tax when you can say carbon price? This is all they know. Deception.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2…..62222.html

  30. Lawmakers in Poland have rejected a total ban on abortion in that country.

    We should be more like Europe.

  31. A tip from a prison guard has yielded the single largest federal case in Maryland’s history: 80 people including corrections officers, inmates and “outside facilitators” have been charged with orchestrating a vast contraband smuggling enterprise that traded drugs, tobacco and cellphones to prisoners for money and sex.

    That guy’s life expectancy is now measured in days.

  32. Hot little gal about 25 sleeping on the train in the seat across from me. Business suit, brief case and skirt that is riding up a bit. If I bend my neck about 5cm, I’ll get a nice view. But I don’t wanna perv. But I wanna see! Libertarian call on this?

    1. No harm, no foul! (perv!!!!!!)

    2. It’s not a libertarian view, but I recommend being a gentleman and respecting her privacy.

      1. I agree but then I’m not a libertarian and/or don’t exist

      2. Wait, according to the government there is no expectation of privacy in a public space like a train car.

    3. Stuff a dollar up there and you’re golden.

      1. You’ve just crossed the red line.

    4. I believe there is an article linked above that addresses your concern.

    5. Unless things have changed you’re still in Japan, so anything short of penetration is probably culturally acceptable.

      If you’re stateside, the Male Gaze author above would like to have a word.

    6. Don’t worry, it is just proof God loves you and wants you to be happy.

      1. Like having Erin Como report on the traffic conditions on Fox 5 in DC.

        1. She is divine isn’t she?

    7. It has been 10 minutes, what did you do straffinrun?

      1. *narrow gaze*

        1. pics or gtfo

      2. It’s hard to type when you’ve been detained.

        1. He’s in Japan. If he got caught, they’d probably give him a game show to host.

    8. Did you not read the everydayfeminism article linked above?

      I can’t even.

  33. Abbas has been hospitalized

    S.O.S.

    1. One study does not necessarily mean conclusive proof, but that is entirely plausible and not surprising if it is true. It makes sense there could be second order effects to fucking with women’s hormones.

      1. Whatever my wife used to use made her a raging bitch. Luckily when I proposed my theory to her, she recognized it to be true and stopped using it. Downside is, she doesn’t want to try a new pill and I am now responsible for making sure I do not get any unwanted children.

        1. That is not the first time I have heard that. They seem to do weird things to women.

        2. She could use the ring or an IUD.

          1. The IUD is awesome. It’s mid October and my wife and I are on track for our first (calendar) year of zero pregnancy days since 2012.

            1. Congratulations on your lack of new children.

        3. We’ve had success with the implant they put in her arm. It cost about $250 even with insurance but I figure that’s cheaper than $250K to raise another kid we didn’t plan for.

      2. women’s hormones.

        /shudders.

        My MIL wen through The Change really early, like her mid-thirties and apparently her mother did too which means I’ve got a couple of years to prepare.

    2. critics counter that the depression could simply be from the ups and downs of extramarital sexual relations with people the women don’t want to have children with /paraphrase

    3. It’s because they’re going bankrupt paying for it, duh /prog

  34. Georgia teacher’s aide fired for talking smack about Michelle Obama on Facebook.

    Former President George “Chimpy McBushitler” Bush could not be reached for comment.

    1. She is the first lady Jerry. How dare you disrespect her. Don’t you love America?

      1. L?se-majest? laws are thing now in the US.

    2. I’m going to judge a book by its cover. She’s a shithead.

  35. Ash Carter’s top military aide spent $1,800 at a Rome strip club using a government credit card and visited South Korea’s ‘Hooker Hill’ during official trips

    A former senior military aide to Defense Secretary Ash Carter has been accused of spending $1,800 on a government credit card in a Rome strip club after his own payment card failed.

    Major General Ron Lewis was forced to leave the venue, called Cica Cica Boom, with a female employee, according to an investigation by the Defense Department’s Inspector General.

    Lewis, who was fired by Carter in November, returned to his hotel with the woman and woke up a Defence Department official to access the credit card in order settle his tab.

    The Pentagon probe found also found that Lewis frequented the Candy Bar in Seoul, South Korea, in an area known as ‘Hooker Hill’.

    He was also accused of making ‘inappropriate interactions’ with women and improperly using his credit card.

    1. Top Men

      Seriously, how stupid can you be?

      1. No kidding. “Hey, credit card company, I’m going out of the country for a few days and will be doing some shopping. If you see any charges for about $2-5K, don’t reject it.” How fucking hard is that?

        I wonder if he was stupid enough to try and include the purchase on his travel voucher to get reimbursed.

        1. try and include the purchase on his travel voucher

          In what category? He already gets per diem so any charges he racked up would be on him to pay.

          1. I know. That’s what makes the situation so funny. I’m not sure if he actually tried to do that or not, I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Not sure where on the non-travel expenses that would go under on a voucher, although I guess he could make something up to try and get repaid.

            The thing is, while non-business expenses will get flagged, you can generally avoid scrutiny as long as you pay off the bill as soon as you get back from the trip. Probably just the sheer cost of the bill is what set off the alarm bells; if it had been $100-200, I doubt anyone would have said anything.

    2. One of the people involved in the Secret Service Columbian hooker scandal was some idiot son of a big donor who worked at the White House. He of course walked away unscathed as will this guy. Rules are for the little people.

        1. I didn’t see that he was an officer and not a political;. Of course he was fired. He is a member of the military not someone important.

    3. Fuckin’ retard. If there’s one thing every broke-dick Private learns early in his career, it’s, “don’t fuck with your Gov’t Travel Card.”

      Dumbass deserves whatever he gets.

      1. That is really a PFC move if there ever was one. I guarantee you that isn’t the first time he has done it. Shame on the people who let him get away with it so long.

        1. Yeah, it’s outrageous he’s gotten away with this victimless crime!!

          1. Victimless? Unless he repaid the charges before he got caught, I think there’s a victim here.

            1. See below. The taxpayer only pays him a fixed amount reimbursables. Unless he personally defaults, he gets to pay the balance no matter how high he drove it up above reimbursements.

          2. Using taxpayer money for strippers is not a victimless crime.

            1. AYFKM? You were in the military right? and had a GTC, right??
              Like all govt travelers, he uses his card up front for lodging and meals, is then reimbursed a set amount. If he charges above that amount, he gets to make up the difference. Either way, he pays the card bill when it shows up. The “taxpayer” still only gave him lodging, per diem and minor (justified) expenses.
              Which businesses he used his card at is immaterial. Please explain who the victim was?

              1. The card comes with terms on it. The rules say you can’t use it for strippers. I don’t think you have a right to buy hookers on government credit.

                1. And again, the victim is??? Don’t move the goal posts. My comment was not about the terms, regs or morality of it.

    4. He’s a fucking Major General. Everyone knows you get a cash advance from your Government Travel Card to pay for your strippers and hookers. You don’t use the card itself to pay for it!

    5. What the public doesn’t get is the government credit card is not government money. The individual pays the bill every month just like a regular credit card. If he was reimbursed a thousand bucks in per diem and lodging for the trip and he charged up two thousand at a strip joint, it’s totally on him. It may be improper due to policy, but it’s only so due to optics. These are the stupidest ‘govt waste’ stories out there…

      1. That depends…how often do people default on their govt cards and do they get credit on better terms with their govt card than they would have been able to do in the private sector?

        1. default=separate issue. IIRC correctly, the terms are pretty much set by contract so unless you literally don’t qualify as an individual, you’re getting a card because it’s mandatory. And since you’re required to pay it off each month, the APR terms are meaningless.

          1. This is similar to just about every Amex corporate card I’ve encountered.

    6. How many men died trying to hold Hooker Hill?

  36. Michael Mann has endorsed Donald Trump

    In the current presidential contest, we could not have a more stark choice before us, between a candidate who rejects the overwhelming evidence that climate change is happening and a candidate who embraces the role of a price on carbon and incentives for renewable energy.

    If you care about the planet, the choice would seem clear.

    If the appropriate catch-phrase for the 1992 election was “It’s The Economy Stupid!,” then this time around it ought to be “It’s the PLANET stupid!.”

    1. He should concentrate on making good movies again.

    2. …thanks in large parts to the efforts of bad actors like the Koch Brothers…

      There you go. Genius at work.

    3. I really liked his movie Thief, but The Keep was a bit of a clusterfuck.

  37. Merkel rallies industry against giving UK sweat Brexit deal

    Britain cannot be allowed access to the EU’s single market without accepting free movement of people, German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Thursday, warning she would not allow a free-for-all.

    “If we don’t say full access to the internal market is linked to full freedom of movement, then a movement will spread in Europe where everyone just does whatever they want,” the chancellor told business leaders from the BDI industry federation.

    1. If the price of dong business with Europe is taking their rapugees, I think I would pass if I were the UK.,

      1. Since their desire to not be consumed by middle eastern immigrants was a primary motivating factor of getting out of the EU, I think Ms. Merkel’s proposal is a non-starter, in addition to the fact that it’s incredibly petty to make this a point of contention.

        1. It also tends to give away Merkel’s true feelings: I thought refugees were, overall, a benefit to the destination country. If Britain says no to free movement, wouldn’t the consistent response be something along the lines of “well, we gave you a chance but if you don’t want the pluses that come from refugees, so be it.”

          1. Merkel clearly thinks the refugees are a ‘benefit’ (at least as she perceives it), or she wouldn’t be taking all these affirmative steps to import people.

            My guess is that she recognizes that the past four years have caused a skepticism of the free movement of people to become the ascendant reason for people to support exiting the EU.

            1. She thinks it is a “benefit”. The benefit she sees in it is making her feel good and soothing her conscience about being a nasty German. That is really all that is going on with her.

              1. I don’t think so.

                In her youth, she was a rising star in the East German communist party. And certainly her holding the line on preventing the ECB from inflating the Euro to shrink the Greek debt showed she is willing to do what’s best for Germans even if the rest of the world is shrieking how horrible and fascistic* they are.

                I can’t figure her out. This degree of commitment isn’t emotional. It’s very purposeful and makes no sense to me.

                * Naturally they are using the definition of fascist where fascist = won’t give me what I want.

                1. She is easy to figure out. She is the daughter of a German minister. She is the classic upper class guilty protestant. She sees taking the refugees as a way for Germans to atone for their historic sin. A way for Germany to shed its past and prove to itself and the world what a tolerant and receptive society it is.

                  That is all that is going on here.

                  1. And she has no children of her own, shortening her time preference and reducing the overall amount of fucks she gives about what becomes of Germany in 100 years.

                2. Don’t discount John’s mind reading abilities, tarran.

                  1. So Zeb do you just think no ones motives can ever be discerned? When I say “hey look at this person’s past and other things they have done, you can see why they are likely doing this” and you say “so you can read minds”, it makes you look unbelievably stupid and dense.

                    I know you think it is clever but it is really not. It is makes you look like a dolt. Feel free to keep doing it. I find it mildly annoying and distracting but it makes you look a lot worse than it does me.

      2. “the price of dong business with Europe”

        There’s no business like dong business
        The most strong business I know

      3. John is a sweet, golden typo machine.

    2. “Europe where everyone just does whatever they want”

      god forbid.

      1. It’s only fair, we had to take all their prog rock bands.

    3. then a movement will spread in Europe where everyone just does whatever they want

      Quelle horreur, non?

  38. Last night I watched the Brad Pitt movie “Fury” which is a WW2 tank bit.

    Positives: good street fighting action and some half-decent battle scenes. Also bonus for showing the effects of a tank shell or panzerfaust on a Sherman tank.

    Negatives: characters I really didn’t care about and a long slow bit in the middle of the movie

    1. Shy La Beef is an automatic pass for me.

      1. But he’s such an artist! Like that time he was in an art studio jacking off under the stairs or something. That’s real art. Something you apparently know nothing about!

        1. I don’t know art, but I know Jackin’ it.

          1. Make your dreams come true.

      2. Without commenting on his acting skills, you should watch the chase scene from the first half of Eagle Eye.

        1. I don’t know. It has his stupid face on the cover of the dvd.

      3. There was something about Transformers that made me put up with it…

        1. It’s called nostalgia, and it will make you hope beyond hope. Or you’re just wanted to ogle Megan Fox with your male gaze.

          1. Yes. Before I realized she and the dude from 90210 were actually consummating their relationship.

          2. Netflix redid Voltron. IT IS A MUST SEE!

      4. I have (well had) no idea who he is…

    2. Brad Pitt was actually good here, and he Died! even better

      1. I still say Brad Pitt’s best role was in True Romance

          1. Get some beer… and cleaning products.

        1. It makes sense because I think he was just playing himself.

        2. Burn After Reading?

      2. Err, spoiler alert?

        I liked the flick. Yeah, it had a slow spot in it, but it ended well (and brutally). And the tank-on-tank action was, as far as I know, dead accurate.

        My biggest knock on it was they couldn’t resist the tired, tired trope of “regular guy gets in with a bunch of hardened warriors, can’t handle it but then becomes a warrior and the sole survivor”. Yawn.

    3. Don’t forget their use of an actual Tiger for the tank battle scene. that was pretty cool.

      The stupidest part of the movie is at the end–I’m really supposed to believe an entire German regiment wouldn’t be stocked with a few panzerfausts to take out a lone Sherman, and attack it in the stupidest way by running right down the road instead of flanking it? Not to mention a movie that continually emphasizes how evil the Nazis were shows a German soldier letting the lone surviving crew member live instead of shooting him in the face.

      1. Man for man, the Germans were probably the best soldiers in WWII. However, since at least the days of “Combat,” they’ve been made to look foolish. A Nazi will run out of the building and stand on the front step while Little John hoses him down with his B.A.R. Lucas must have patterned his storm troopers after these guys who couldn’t hit the side of a barn from 20 feet away with a Schmeisser.

        1. Man for man, the Germans were probably the best soldiers in WWII

          I don’t think there’s any dispute about it. The held control of nearly all of Europe and most of North Africa almost single-handedly for about 4 years. The Italians were straight-up worthless as fighters and would have been rolled in just a few weeks if they hadn’t been augmented by German soldiers. If Hitler hadn’t been stupid enough to 1) prevent Rommel from annihilating the British at Dunkirk; 2) avoided Operation Sea Lion and just kept the British blockaded, 3) not invaded Russia, or at least occupied the southern Ukraine and Crimea while leaving Leningrad and Stalingrad alone, and 4) not pre-emptively declared war on the US after Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, the rest of the 20th Century in Europe would have looked VERY different.

          1. the rest of the 20th Century in Europe would have looked VERY different.

            + 1 Man in the High Castle

      2. yeah that was pretty dumb. Like it wouldn’t be that hard to march around the tank without being seen.

        And SS troops – the ones on the frontline – were the elite among a very good army.

        1. No way an SS trooper would have walked away from a live American.

    4. “Negatives: characters I really didn’t care about and a long slow bit in the middle of the movie”

      Not enough explosions to appeal to your aesthetic sensibilities, eh?

      1. +1 Michael Bay

  39. Bill on the stump for who? Obama care sucks. People haven’t gotten a raise in 15 years.

    1. Some have been suggested for 2 years tgat Trump was a Clinto plant. Maybe not in the way we thought.

      1. Two of the more striking things about Clinton’s campaign is that if you didn’t know any better listening to her you would think George Bush served a third and fourth term the last eight years and how much she sounds like Trump. Hillary is all about sticking it to the foreigners and saving American jobs. Who knew?

    2. You would think Hill would’ve learned a shred of something from Bill about retail politics over the years.

  40. CA decides that if prosecutors break the law, maybe they should be punished.

    “Harsher penalties for prosecutors in state who withhold evidence”
    […]
    “Until now, prosecutors who have broken the rules in California have rarely been punished. But on Saturday, the bar’s board of trustees approved new ethical standards that would impose disciplinary action, and possibly disbarment, on prosecuting attorneys who failed to disclose evidence that they knew, or reasonably should have known, would assist the defense.
    A day earlier, Gov. Jerry Brown signed a law that will make it a felony, punishable by up to three years in prison, for a prosecutor to intentionally withhold evidence that would have made a difference in the case.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/art…..798180.php

    Moonbeam isn’t quite up to the accuracy of a broken clock, but we’ll take what we can get.

    1. One time in what? 8 years? He is about as accurate as an old calendar. Every couple of decades or so the days and months match up again.

      1. There are only 14 calendars, so on average it matches up every 14 years. Much sooner for non leap years, longer for leap years.

        1. Figure him to be Feb 29.

            1. “Birthdays are dumb.”

              Like a lot of things, they gain in importance when the look to become scarce…

          1. +1 Saddie Hawkins.

    2. “Intentionally”

      In other words, about as useful as a Comey investigation.

  41. a vast contraband smuggling enterprise that traded drugs, tobacco and cellphones to prisoners for money and sex.”

    My god, people voluntarily exchanging goods and services for mutual benefit… sans Regulations??!? SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT A STOP TO THAT AT ONCE

    i suppose someone will say, ‘this just proves you can’t have “free markets” without a federal government”… just not how they might have intended.

    1. While a more accurate conclusion would be that you can’t prevent markets in things people want no matter how hard you try.

      1. But you can sure fuck up the economy and millions of people’s lives in the process.

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