Hit & Run

A.M. Links: Detroit News Endorses Gary Johnson for President, Obama Takes on Trump, Latest on Police Killing in El Cajon

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  • Reason

    The Detroit News: "Libertarian Gary Johnson for president."

  • In a CNN town hall appearance last night, President Barack Obama referred to Donald Trump's claims about waning U.S. power as "blah, blah. It's nonsense."
  • Police in El Cajon, California, say 38-year-old Alfred Okwera Olango pointed a vaping device at police before he was shot and killed by an officer.
  • Indian forces killed two Pakistani soldiers in the disputed Kashmir region.
  • According to a new report from Amnesty International, Sudan used chemical weapons in Darfur.
  • The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit has struck down New Hampshire's ban on taking "selfies" inside the voting both, calling it unconstitutional under the First Amendment.

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Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. The Detroit News: "Libertarian Gary Johnson for president."

    They still have a Detroit?

    1. Citizen X

      What's Detroit?

      1. I think it's a type of river fish.

        1. Citizen X

          Not one you'd want to eat, though.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        The main character from Guys and Dolls.

      3. Tom Bombadil

        Now it's called Hansen's town.

        1. MmmmBop.

          1. invisible furry hand

            i thought it was a reference to this

      4. Agent Cooper

        This guy

    2. Rufus The Monocled

      Hello.

      "blah, blah. It's nonsense."

      Ah. Projection appropriately applied.

      1. WTF

        The left really thinks that "nuh uh!" is a valid argument.

      2. And the Philippine Prez calls him a 'Son of a Whore' and goes to the Chinese.

    3. WTF

      Yes, it's the New Detroit, just 2/3 less than the Old Detroit.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon

    242) Let's say you were the mayor of a U.S. city, and you've had it with your overpaid, corrupt, shoot-first-ask-questions-later cops. Maybe you decide as an experiment to hire a private firm to carry out law enforcement. How would you do this?

    Would you start with a neighborhood, and simply tell the regular city police to stay out of it, and empower the employees of the private security firm to make arrests? Maybe if it goes well you could spread it to other neighborhoods as well?sort of a charter school model.

    It might make more sense to simply get rid of all the cops at once, rather than deal with the complication of two parallel police forces. But I don't think any security firm would be able to scale up with enough employees quickly enough. Would you specifically hire different firms for different neighborhoods to foster competition?

    Would police union contracts somehow prevent this? Surely this specific situation is not written in the police contract, but it still might make sense to do this during a negotiation year. Or is that the worst idea, because they might try to retaliate? Or, would you be hoping to call their bluff, and if they do a Baltimore PD move and stop enforcing laws (a strike in all but name), fire them all?

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      Too complicated early in the morning.

      Help me out: Peanut butter or Nutella this morning?

      1. Vegemite

        1. Vegemite was the saltiest thing I've ever eaten and I've eaten salt.

          1. I've never had it, I was just giving a snarky response to Rufus.

          2. invisible furry hand

            You have to eat it with toast, a generous hit of butter, and then a very thin scrape of Vegemite.

            1. Clich? Bandit

              And then you dick gets bitten by a spider while you sit on the toity...twice

              seriously, you upsidedowners are weird.

        2. SRVolunteer

          Spent a little more than a week in Australia, and tried Vegemite.

          I do not suggest it to anyone.

          1. Azathoth!!

            Nah--Marmite's MUCH better.

      2. Rich

        If you're that confused I'd go with Nutella.

      3. Both.

      4. straffinrun

        Depends. What are you planning on doing?

    2. Tonio

      Also, you'd have the union cops actively sabotaging you at every turn and engaging in scare tactics.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        If you were prepared for this, might be able to use it to your advantage? I'm thinking of Reagan firing the air traffic controllers. If the cops aren't willing to do their jobs, then hire somebody who can do them.

        1. Tonio

          And those will mostly be other cops from jurisdictions which don't pay as well. The economic pressure would cause those other jurisdictions to have to hire some of the dregs.

          I'm not saying it couldn't work; but it would be a very tough battle.

    3. Brett L

      Why go all in? Why not negotiate with the union and get a contract that allowed you to manage the people whose salaries you pay and whose actions you are liable for? Mayors and city and county government are missing huge opportunities to take back some of the concessions their predecessors gave up. When your city cops decide to sick out, you just beat them up in the papers, and tie it more broadly to policing reform.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        That might be possible, but I think it would actually be easier for most cities to start over if a police force is irredeemably corrupt (Chicago, say). Also, once it's apparent that private police forces are a real possibility, it would probably be easier to claw back concessions from the unions.

        1. Brett L

          Once the private police force had a monopoly on the city's LE contracts, it would behave exactly like a police union.

    4. jarflax

      Detroit tried this, but Ed 209 went berserk and shot everyone.

    5. Rhywun

      your overpaid, corrupt, shoot-first-ask-questions-later cops

      Most of this could be solved by fighting their union. The public would support it if they weren't fed a steady diet of lies.

    6. Jerryskids

      I'm not sure that a mayor can get rid of a police force. He would have to get the city council to agree and have the citizenry on his side and there's just too much corruption in the system that the police couldn't get at least some of the council and the citizenry on their side. The lawsuits would tie the mayor up for years and the leaked lies and baseless allegations would serve to make enough people doubt the mayor's acting in good faith. IIRC, there's a town in California that's trying to get rid of its fire department because the pensions are bankrupting the town and the fire department has them tied up in court, insisting they have to raise taxes to pay their pensions even if it bankrupts the town.

      And the fight between a mayor and a police chief (can't remember the details) but they were setting the town budget and wanted to know how much money the PD made in asset forfeiture.The police chief said that was his money, bonus money, and they had no right to see it or take it into account when setting his budget. How can that sort of insubordination be tolerated? Because some members of the city council took the opportunity to score political points against the mayor and the police chief knew damn well they would.

  3. ...Sudan used chemical weapons in Darfur.

    Red line?

    1. Naw, it's just Sudan. No one notices them.

      1. Agent Cooper

        #AfricanLivesDon'tMatter

    2. Libertarian

      Line in the sand would be more accurate.

  4. Bee Tagger

    New Hampshire's ban on taking "selfies" inside the voting both

    Are you at least allowed to vote for yourself?

    1. There was a ban on voting both selfies? In God's name, why? Furthermore, who cared enough to sue to get it struck down?

      1. Bee Tagger

        MILLENNIALS. IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN'T DO BESIDES ALL OF THE THINGS THINK PIECES SAY THEY CAN'T DO?

      2. Jerryskids

        Selfies are proof you voted the way you were paid/ordered to vote. The secret ballot exists for a reason - nobody can verify how you voted one way or another.

    2. As long as it follows this palm card...

      /Chicago Teamster

    3. The Last American Hero

      Live Free or, oh fuck it.

  5. The Detroit News: "Libertarian Gary Johnson for president."

    Who and who?

  6. Citizen X

    Police in El Cajon, California, say 38-year-old Alfred Okwera Olango pointed a vaping device at police before he was shot and killed by an officer.

    Well, the DEA wants to regulate e-cigs as a tobacco product, and tobacco products are deadly, so therefore, good shoot.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      He was trying to kill them with second-hand smoke?

      1. Secondhand vapor is exactly as dangerous as secondhand smoke.

        1. Jerryskids

          Secondhand vapor is far more dangerous than secondhand smoke because people don't appreciate just how dangerous it is. It's like McDonald's killing more people than ISIS and yet people will still walk right into a McDonald's and pay good money to be killed when a guy shooting a gun at them they'd run from.

          1. BigT

            Corpses piling up outside your local McD's?

            Hahaha!

    2. Tonio

      [golf clap] for both of you.

    3. John DeWitt

      Honestly, all they were doing was thinking about that poor guy's health:

      According to the call, the man was "not acting like himself" and had been walking in traffic, endangering himself and motorists, police Chief Jeff Davis said.

      "He was endangering himself, so we shot him."

    4. bacon-magic

      *uses stealthy vape device at work today, can't be too careful or...BLAM BLAM BLAM.

  7. Just a thought not a sermon

    "In a CNN town hall appearance last night, President Barack Obama referred to Donald Trump's claims about waning U.S. power as "blah, blah. It's nonsense.""

    We're going to miss this guy's political and international relations acumen when he's gone.

    1. GREATEST. ORATOR. SINCE. CICERO.

      1. The murdering jester from Skyrim was a far better orator than Obama.

        1. The Last American Hero

          Spoiler.

          1. Gadfly

            Not really, since when you meet that character he's hauling around a giant coffin...

    2. But remember, Trump is the child. He's is totally un presidential.

    3. Jerryskids

      "Waning US power." What about waning US authority and people that don't know or care about the difference between power and authority? If you can dronestrike their families weddings and call it a good shoot or depose their heads of state and then cackle about it or kick the shit out of them and take their oil with impunity, does it matter whether you have the authority to exercise your power? What if you just use a pen and a phone to get done what you think needs to be done regardless of what anybody else thinks - is that a good exercise of power or a bad exercise of power?

  8. Tonio

    Brazil, which has a huge black population, has racial tribunals that determine your race for awarding things like minority-based university admission. There seem to be no objective standards for the determinations. The minority groups are mostly in favor of this because it drives free stuff; this will eventually backfire on them. This from an NPR report this morning on someone who was trying to qualify for race-based university admission.

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      Damn. I read that as 'Brazil, which has a huge black dick'.

      /shakes head in disappointment.

      1. Tonio

        I'm sorry, Rufus. My intentions were good. 🙂

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      This sounds like how the Belgians classified Hutus and Tutsis when they issued IDs to Rwandans in colonial times. Basically, Tutsis were thought to be tall and darker-skinned, and Hutus shorter and lighter-skinned, so that's how you were classified if you fit those characteristics, no matter that the village you were from had always been Hutu (or vice-versa). Didn't work out too well in the long run...

      1. -800,000

      2. Rufus The Monocled

        I just want to put it out there I wouldn't fit in neither of those groups.

        1. Rufus The Monocled

          or is it in either?

          /licks knifeful of nutella.

        2. Of course not, Rufus, you're an evil whitey.

          1. Citizen X

            Yes, but Canadians are the junior varsity of white people.

            1. Rufus The Monocled

              Whatever. I would still probably confuse the Belgians.

              Belgian: Next!
              Rufus walks up eating banana. Belgian flips paper on clipboard. Looks around murmurs to colleague. Shrugging of shoulders and confused looks abound.

              Belgian: Er.
              Rufus: C'man, c'man. I don't have all day.

              1. Belgians are easily confused.

                1. bacon-magic

                  Bunch of wafflers.

      3. Tonio

        Fascinating. Thanks, JATNAS.

    3. WTF

      There are no objective standards here, either. Lizzie Warren got to take advantage of being a "Native American".

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      Worse bureaucracy: the country Brazil or the movie Brazil?

      1. Brett L

        Worse because efficient: Brazil the movie
        Worse because banality of evil: Brazil the country

        1. Citizen X

          -1 Buttle

  9. Rich

    According to a new report from Amnesty International, Sudan used chemical weapons in Darfur

    instead of high-explosive-driven shrapnel, the way God intended.

    1. Look, there's a right way and a wrong way to kill people, Rich, and gassing them just isn't cricket.

      1. Rich

        *** scratches head ***

        Can Sudan use crickets with impunity?

        1. No, but locusts are an accepted form of traditional warfare.

          1. Rich

            Avoid locusts like the plague.

            1. good one

          2. Citizen X

            Aren't locusts eaten in Sudan? You'd think they'd welcome locusts.

            1. Look, just because they're starving doesn't mean they want to eat bugs.

              1. Citizen X

                No, seriously. Giant grasshoppers have been a staple of African and Middle Eastern cuisine for millennia. They're actually kosher, according to Leviticus.

              2. (((Renegade)))

                Let's be honest- crab and lobster, bugs. And you goyim will eat that shit.

                1. Don't look at me. I distrust "food" that doesn't have a backbone.

                  1. straffinrun

                    I wouldn't go down on Paul Ryan either.

                    1. Citizen X

                      But not for the reason we're all probably thinking.

                  2. Eternal Blue Sky

                    No greens??

            2. It's a "locust" alternative to more expensive foods, get it?

  10. Lord Humungus

    Macon man accidentally shoots himself while sitting on toilet

    GEORGIA - Deputies responded to the Medical Center, Navicent Health on Saturday after receiving a call about a self-inflicted gunshot wound, according to a Bibb incident report.

    The man told the responding deputy that he was sitting on toilet and trying to clear his pistol. He dropped the magazine and was attempting to ride the hammer forward when it slipped and fired.

    He said the round entered his leg. When his wife came in, he asked her if she was alright and then they found he had been shot below the kneecap.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I've heard of a blast radius but this is taking it pretty far.

    2. straffinrun

      Hot round in the chamber.

      1. C. Anacreon

        I been makin' a Macon man.

  11. Carl on a cob

    Please get a new Gary Johnson pic, FFS.

    1. Bee Tagger

      It's his Liam or Noel Gallagher look.

      1. Citizen X

        All flipping the v-sign, too. Gary, if you're giving a peace sign, the palm should be facing out.

        1. Maybe he is flipping us the English bird?!

          1. Libertarian

            Finally, the Libertarian Party has a Churchillian candidate!

          2. bacon-magic

            He's telling us all there are only 2 candidates to consider.

            1. Citizen X

              It's a tough choice: Gary Johnson, or Vermin Supreme?

              I don't accept the existence of other candidates.

        2. ...if you're giving a peace sign, the palm should be facing out.

          AKA the granny peace sign.

    2. Rufus The Monocled

      Yeh, peace nik t-shirts scream ' frosted over flake'.

    3. Do not ask the internet for pics of a johnson.

      1. Citizen X

        SOMEONE has a millstone for a browser history!

        1. You're stupid enough to have a browser that keeps history?

          I'm just applying common sense.

          1. Citizen X

            I haven't had a browser history since college. One learns these things.

            1. Everyone learns once the hard way. I learned at age 12 when my mom asked me why I like lesbian porn. The conversation was less than comfortable.

              1. Lee Genes

                Probably an easier question to answer than "Just what is scheisseporn.de?"

                1. Don't go there, I've heard it's a shitty site.

                2. invisible furry hand

                  "Mom... if you were in a German scheisse video, you... you'd tell me, right?"

    4. Tonio

      ^This.

  12. Bee Tagger

    President Barack Obama referred to Donald Trump's claims about waning U.S. power as "blah, blah. It's nonsense."

    Just one small typo on the teleprompter and Obama would have looked pretty foolish saying that it's nonsense about Trump wanting U.S. power.

    1. (((Renegade)))

      He missed is chance for "yadda, yadda."

  13. ...President Barack Obama referred to Donald Trump's claims about waning U.S. power as "blah, blah. It's nonsense."

    "Donald, if this is a lecture on how we're all supposed to whatever, and blah, blah, blah, well, you can save it, 'cause we all know it by heart."

    1. They're the words of a man who knows he's three months away from not having to give a shit anymore.

      1. Chipwooder

        You think he gives a shit know? The guy put his presidency on autopilot at least 18 months ago.

        1. True, but he's really letting it show now. I figure that by Inauguration Day he'll show up wearing a foam dome, hawaiian shirt and with his golf clubs.

  14. Bee Tagger

    The Detroit News: "Libertarian Gary Johnson for president."

    Oh, has their readership been consistently below 10%, too?

  15. Lord Humungus

    Georgian Politicians Fight During Live TV Debate

    Two Georgian politicians clashed with more than just words during a live television debate ahead of the country's parliamentary elections. Union of Industrialists candidate Zaza Agladze poured a glass of water over his opponent Irakli Glonti from State For The People bloc. The two then started pushing and kicking each other, as the moderator tried to keep them apart. This was the second televised debate in the past week in which Georgian politicians came to blows.

    1. Bring clubs and knives next time!

    2. RBS

      Worst. Fight. Ever.

    3. Brett L

      That's the problem with our national chambers. Everyone is old as dirt. They couldn't get in but two or three shoves before they'd be on oxygen and someone would have a broken hip.

      1. Lord Humungus

        But if there was more physical altercations, we would need fitter politicians. Which means that Warty would eventually become the supreme leader.

        1. Brett L

          And make America once more the Land of Rape and Squats?

          1. Slaaneshi Space Dwarfs?

        2. President Warty "Camacho" Hugeman.

          1. Citizen X

            Protein shakes in every fridge, and a fuck dungeon in every basement!

    4. simple man

      "...as the moderator tried to keep them apart."

      Stop taking sides! Just ask questions and let the candidates fight it out!

  16. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit has struck down New Hampshire's ban on taking "selfies" inside the voting both, calling it unconstitutional under the First Amendment.

    It's just a fad that's going to go away soon anyway.

  17. Lord Humungus

    Waiting for Bigfoot
    A Tampa Bay investigator checks out local Bigfoot sightings.

    Around 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 9, 2014, while driving home from Sarasota along State Road 72, an Arcadia woman saw something strange. "I thought I saw a deer to my right," she later wrote, "but then I realized it wasn't a deer."

    She hit the brakes as a huge creature leaped across the street in two bounds less than 15 feet in front of her. The beast had long, shaggy, dark hair and a tan, leathery face. Its shoulders were as wide as a Dodge. The woman knew immediately what she had seen and knew immediately whom to call: the Florida Bigfoot Researchers Organization.

    Investigator Re Monteith met with the woman days later. They went over additional details and revisited the location of the sighting. The Arcadia woman, who didn't think Bigfoot was real before that night, was now a believer. For her, it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience; for Monteith, it was just another day spent hunting for signs of the beast.

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      Big foot is a false flag were the real thing: Largefoot.

      1. STEVE SMITH LARGE IN FEET, BUT ALSO LARGE IN OTHER PLACES!

    2. Libertarian

      Is she sure it wasn't a clown?

    3. Brett L

      STEVE SMITH NOT FLORIDA MAN!

    4. Jerryskids

      She doesn't know a skunk ape when she sees one? Did it have a horrible stench? No? Then it was a bear. I'll bet she doesn't know what a bear bounding across the road in front of her looks like, either.

  18. Rich

    A HUGE solar storm is heading towards Earth which could leave us without mobile phones, satellite TV and even electricity.

    We'd jolly well better be back on line for the Vice Presidential Debate!

  19. Lord Humungus

    Libertarian Gary Johnson Has Another 'Aleppo Moment'

    If the rest of the world was already laughing violently, watching the spectacle that is America's presidential election, we wonder how it would react if it knew that there is actually a third candidate for the US presidency, one who can't name a single foreign world leader.

    Sadly, that is precisely what happened today when during a New Hampshire townhall moderated by MSNBC's Chris Matthews, libertarian candidate Gary Johnson had another "Aleppo moment" when asked who his favorite foreign leader is, as the clip below shows.

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      What kind of a retarded juvenile question is 'who is your favorite foreign leader'?

      Quite frankly, you're an idiot if you have one.

      1. Rich

        What kind of a retarded juvenile question is 'who is your favorite foreign leader'?

        It's ambiguous, too. Is it 'who is your (favorite foreign) leader?' or 'who is your favorite (foreign leader)?'?

      2. A better one:
        Which political leader WOULDN'T you feed into a wood chipper?

        1. Tom Bombadil

          Even better:
          Kill, Marry, Fuck.

      3. Agent Cooper

        My response: That's a clown question, bro.

    2. Citizen X

      Who gives a fuck? Why does anyone need to have a favorite foreign leader?

      1. straffinrun

        Don't touch my Boudica posters.

        1. How are the Iceni doing these days?

          1. straffinrun

            If it weren't for Roman rape, extinct.

          2. straffinrun

            *Too late. But...

            Fine. They're just overheated.

        2. Queen Dido or GTFO!

    3. Just a thought not a sermon

      Not having a favorite and not being able to name a single one are far from the same thing.

      1. Tonio

        I agree. Surprised his people haven't prepped him better on this given that one of the major party candidates has much foreign policy experience. But also duly noted that given his foreign policy is leave others alone, why would he need to?

        1. WTF

          one of the major party candidates has much foreign policy experience

          Yeah, but Hillary has foreign policy experience like Typhoid Mary had catering experience.

    4. Sadly, that is precisely what happened today...

      Public education has a great deal to answer for.

    5. Shirley Knott

      I've also seen this reported as "can't name a single foreign leader he respects" -- rather a different matter entirely, isn't it?

      1. MikeT1986

        Living and non-mythical good foreign leader? yeah my answer would be sarcastic if put on the spot for it. "Donald Tusk for always looking grumpy" would probably be about what I've got because I can't think of (m)any good libertarian foreign leaders.

      2. spqr2008

        That might not be such a bad thing. I personally do not have much respect for most foreign leaders, with the possible exception of some Israelis, since, you know, they served in their military and stood off most of the Arab world multiple times.....

    6. Chipwooder

      Was it a giggling 12 year old who asked him? Good lord, the media is pathetic.

      1. Citizen X

        My 12-year-old is way too smart to think that's a worthwhile question.

        1. It was Chris Matthews, so yes, a 12-year-old would have been a better interviewer.

      2. Haybob

        Remember that time when the secretary of defense burst into the oval office and said quick name your favorite foreign leader we only have 60 seconds the world depends on it! Glad the president was able to answer or we would all be dead.

    7. Libertarian

      I watched most of that interview live. Chris Matthews was talking so goddam fast it was as if he were trying to rattle Johnson and Weld, hoping for another Aleppo moment. (In fact, said something at the beginning to that effect). He also opened up with asking several times for Johnson and Weld to opine on Trump and Hillary statements.

      1. AdamJ

        Trumps favorite is Putin. So he's definitely more qualified. Also, what are the chances Donald knows what Aleppo is? Even after GJ had his gaffe, I doubt Trump bothered to learn what it was.

    8. thom

      My local paper - the Mpls Star Tribune - is currently running this as the top story on their website. They can't decide whether he really is an irrelevant candidate or not, but that's progress, right? Libertarian candidate being reported as major news?

    9. He should've said "No one" or Bashar al-Assad.

      1. BigT

        Harambe!

  20. Lord Humungus

    Investigators may probe Cascade Mall suspect's citizenship status, voting record

    Federal sources confirm to KING 5 that Cetin was not a U.S. citizen, meaning legally he cannot vote. However, state records show Cetin registered to vote in 2014 and participated in three election cycles, including the May presidential primary.

    Cetin, who immigrated to the United States from Turkey as a child, is considered a permanent resident or green card holder. While a permanent resident can apply for U.S. citizenship after a certain period of time, sources tell KING his status had not changed from green card holder to U.S. citizen.

    While voters must attest to citizenship upon registering online or registering to vote at the Department of Licensing Office, Washington state doesn't require proof of citizenship. Therefore elections officials say the state's elections system operates, more or less, under an honor system.

    1. Can we get Gregoire stricken from the record now?

    2. Domestic Dissident

      You beat me to it. The idea that we have legitimate elections in this country is a complete sham. What an absolute fucking joke and a disgrace.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      That's impossible. I've been told that voter fraud is a myth.

      1. I once laid out an argument for Voter ID that included a remark on the habit of claiming "there's no point is looking for evidence of it because we've never seen any evidence for it" and the rebuttal to that (since we've never looked...). And someone still threw that same "there's no evidence of it, so don't bother looking" argument at me.

    4. Brett L

      Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean people who are ineligible to vote might be voting? I was told this was impossible and there was no need for them to identify themselves at the polls.

    5. Even some staff here at Reason has argued that voter fraud is a myth, if I remember correctly.

      1. Even some staff here at Reason has argued that voter fraud is a myth, if I remember correctly.

        Bailey. He's written several pieces arguing just that. In fact, you might say...

        (dons sunglasses)

        ...it's his Bailey-wick.

        YEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

        1. Domestic Dissident

          Which is funny, considering that Bailey is one of the guys who will probably vote for Hillary multiple times.

          1. Citizen X

            I think you meant to say "Con Fail-ey," right?

        2. *golf clap*

  21. Police in El Cajon, California, say 38-year-old Alfred Okwera Olango pointed a vaping device at police before he was shot and killed by an officer.

    The FDA said those things would kill you.

    1. Cops?

  22. Lord Humungus

    Mexico emerges as most dangerous place in the world to be a priest

    With 15 priests killed in the last four years, Mexico is the most dangerous country to exercise priestly ministry in the entire world, Father Hugo Valdemar, spokesman for the Archdiocese of Mexico City, said recently.

    In a report published Sept. 21, the research unit of the Catholic Multimedia Center recorded 14 murders of priests from 2012 to 2016. The death of Fr. Jos? Alfredo L?pez Guill?n, whose body was found the night of Sept. 24, brings that number to 15.

    Speaking to CNA, Valdemar stated that "it has become clear that Mexico is the country where ministers of the Catholic Church are most at risk.

    "Which is even surprising because there is still more risk in Mexico than, for example, in Syria or in those countries where Christians are persecuted by the Islamic State."

    1. The Last American Hero

      Syria disagrees.

    2. dan'o en barrel

      I'd be surprised if 15 priests remained in Syria. Since MX is primarily Catholic, I sincerely doubt it's the most dangerous per capita.

  23. invisible furry hand

    This is what happens when you make SugarFree God

    New species of crane fly with forked penis found in Kosciuszko National Park

    1. Rich

      Permit me: "Crane fly fuck with forked penis."

      1. *Swiss Servator narrows gaze with forked eyes*

  24. Lord Humungus

    Clownpocalypse: Clown Sightings Spread to Florida, Virginia and Colorado

    Residents and authorities in Palm Bay, Fla., have been on high alert since a resident reported seeing two "creepy clowns" staring at her from across a road as she walked her dog. And in Marion County, Fla., deputies are concerned after it emerged that a Facebook viral video, depicting a clown standing silently on the side of the road in the dark, had been filmed along a main thoroughfare in the area.

    ...

    Perhaps the most serious clown-related incident this week happened in Greeley, Colo., where a clown-oriented Facebook post threatened a shooting on Halloween night, and claimed that clowns were planning to attack two area schools.

    ...

    Impersonating a clown for nefarious purposes, Weld County says, is a felony and could carry with it a jail sentence of up to 18 months.

    1. Citizen X

      Impersonating a clown for nefarious purposes, Weld County says, is a felony

      I, uh... hmm. What?

      1. invisible furry hand

        In Weld County they're first responders

        1. Raven Nation

          RIP Tangles.

          1. invisible furry hand

            Yeah, first Richie and now Tangles*... Lord, just don't take Chappelli just yet

            *although the books *eyeroll*

            1. Raven Nation

              I haven't read any of them, but the titles were enough for a WTF moment...

    2. dan'o en barrel
      1. dan'o en barrel

        Proud Weld County resident here! We were mentioned on the Internet wooooooo!!!

        1. invisible furry hand

          Are you going to stick it to The Man by impersonating a clown for nefarious purposes?

          1. He prefers his purposes nefandous.

    3. PBR Streetgang

      "Impersonating" a clown? What now?

      1. Lord Humungus

        Did YOU go to clown college?

      2. Agent Cooper

        It's like impersonating a basketball player. It's DANGEROUS!

    4. If-by-whiskey

      'Real' clowns applaud the measure..

  25. Lord Humungus

    Chinese man pledges love with 999 boxes of condoms, bouquet fashioned from G-strings

    The man knelt on one knee before the woman in a heart fashioned of condom boxes in Harbin, Heilongjiang province, and asked her to be his girlfriend. He held a bunch of G-strings fashioned into flower shapes.

    The woman was astonished as he pledged his love and said a man on average only had sex 6,000 times in his lifetime, and he wanted every one of those times to be with her, the report said.

    The woman agreed to be his girlfriend and accepted the bouquet to loud cheers from the gathered crowd, before the man told the watchers over a microphone they could take the condoms for free.

    The report said that 999 boxes of condoms were taken within 30 seconds.

    1. a man on average only had sex 6,000 times in his lifetime, and he wanted every one of those times to be with her, the report said.

      Regrets, I've had a few...

      1. Brett L

        Hmm.... Wish I'd had this line 20 years ago.

      2. Suthenboy

        Men on average have sex 6000 x in their life? What the....?

        *counts on fingers while estimating in head*

        I think whoever came up with that number moved a decimal point.

        1. Lord Humungus

          60,000? Your nether regions must look like pepperoni

          1. +3 Wilt Chamberlain

          2. Jerryskids

            Nobody said anything about sex involving another person.

            1. Citizen X

              If we're including masturbation, the average dude is gonna have to add a few more zeros onto the end of that figure for the summer between tenth and eleventh grade alone.

    2. invisible furry hand

      Public proposals of marriage are awful enough, but public propositions? Urgh, the folly, desperation and vanity of it all

      And I bet he's lousy in bed.

      1. Brett L

        Since he declared himself a virgin, its a good bet.

      2. Carl on a cob

        We see a biased picture, obviously, but a skewed gender ratio and doted-on only children seem to have had some perverse effects on China's dating scene.

  26. Rich

    Middle-aged women can enjoy sex more as they get older, study finds

    Apparently that's a typo: "stud finds".

    1. straffinrun

      But men'll pause.

      1. Good work.

      2. Tonio

        [squints at straffin']

      3. *rises to begin prolonged applause*

        1. Roger the Shrubber

          A little more subtlety with the fap euphemisms would go a long way, Swissy.

    2. I had the good sense to at least include some quotes.

    3. Tom Bombadil

      Of course they enjoy it more, they are overwhelmed with appreciation.

      /ducks and dives into the nearest trash chute.

  27. invisible furry hand

    A Slate article so horribly condescending and infantilizing, even Slate readers call it horribly condescending and infantilizing

    Sabrina the Teenage Witch Is Now Heading Gary Johnson's Campaign in Connecticut

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      A) Don't understand her point at all. It's neither humorous nor does it possess substance.
      B) I never saw an Italic name like 'Caurerucci'. Interesting.
      C) I just wanted to add a 'C' because 'ABC' makes it look more complete.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      That article is so dumb I think she may actually have won Johnson some new voters.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I can't see comments. Which is fine.

    4. But Johnson isn't quite so middle-of-the-road. Johnson's radical free-market economic proposals would dismantle the social safety net and hobble a country still recovering from a devastating recession?a classic Witches Council move. His response to the climate crisis, which boils down to "?\_(?)_/?, the sun is gonna swallow us up someday anyway," demonstrates a capacity for nihilism few mortals could muster. Johnson is as deep into the Other Realm as any Quizmaster could hope to be.

      1. Rufus The Monocled

        Wait. I thought the economy recovered from the recession. Didn't Obama save it with his wave of the finger while fingering his asshole with the other?

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          He did until we didn't need Democrats to be elected any longer. Now we're still in the middle of it and only Hillary can save us.

        2. Chipwooder

          8 fucking years of Chocolate Jesus and we're still recovering from a recession that started almost a decade ago? How can that be????

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            RETHUGLICAN OBSTRUCTIONISM!!!11!!!

        3. No no, Rufus - we've had the Obama recovery, and that means prosperity and jobs and shit. The negative aspects of the economy are the effects of the Bush recession. Do you even politics, dude?

      2. Rufus The Monocled

        I bet you she sat back in her green ergonomic chair with a smirk of smug self-satisfaction after she compiled that pile of dung.

      3. Tonio

        It's not like the president has unilateral power to pass new legislation or nullify existing laws.

        Also, Witches Council and Quizmaster? WTF?

        1. A little googling tells me that the writer of that comment was really, really into her TV show.

      4. Sign me up!

      5. Sign me up!

      6. a capacity for nihilism few mortals could muster.

        Millions of people seem to muster it just fine.

    5. Agent Cooper

      Gary Johnson: We should colonize other planets! Idiot!
      Elon Musk: We should colonize other planets! Genius!

  28. Tonio

    Well, the Clintonistas are trying a new tack to win the votes of putative Johnson supporters. Instead of their usual shrill hectoring they are condescendingly lecturing about how Johnson is a nice guy, but just isn't qualified because he can't rattle off a list of the names of every major foreign leader. Absolutely nothing about why that failure is more disqualifying than, say, thinking that "wiping a server" involves a cloth in this age where digital security is important.

    1. We all know she doesn't think wiping a server clean involves a cloth. She was just being a condescending cunt.

      1. Tonio

        While I suspect you are right, there is no way of knowing. Either way that statement should have had far greater consequences.

      2. Zeb

        Yeah, I bet she thought she pulled off a good one with that.

        Though the possibility exists that she is just a fucking idiot.

      3. Chipwooder

        After reading some of those leaked emails, I'm not sure you can go wrong by assuming her technological ignorance.

        1. straffinrun

          Yep. Easily confused.

    2. I can't really name any foreign leaders I respect either. Or even domestic leaders. I don't respect many people who go into political prostitution for a living.

  29. Just a thought not a sermon

    "Impersonating a clown for nefarious purposes, Weld County says, is a felony and could carry with it a jail sentence of up to 18 months."

    I'm impressed the county fathers were far-sighted enough to already have a law for this on the books.

    1. Chipwooder

      And let's not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an aquatic rodent for, uh, domestic.....um, within the city.....that ain't legal either.

    2. Tonio

      Is there any non-nefarious purpose for which one might impersonate a clown? Also, what is the difference between impersonating a clown and actually being one?

      1. Chipwooder

        Occupational licensing. Duh!

        1. Tonio

          Harumph! [cuffs nearest orphan]

      2. Zeb

        Your second question seems like the important one.

        How long until clown licenses are called for? If you don't have your official clown ID, you are illegally impersonating a clown. Not really any more insane than requiring a license for flower arrangement or selling coffins.

        1. Chipwooder

          The license for interior decorating was always my favorite. "Without a properly licensed decorator, there's no end to the calamity you face. You could end up with orange shag carpeting and zebra print furniture, for god's sake!"

          1. Zeb

            As I recall that one was about "interior design", not just decorating, which can involve more engineering and architecture stuff. Maybe there were other stories about simple "interior decorating" that I missed as well. Certainly wouldn't surprise me.

            Still shouldn't require a license, though, in any case. Liability insurance should do the job just fine.

          2. Lord at War

            Damn it! I lived through the terror of avocado colored can openers! You cannot begin to understand the horror...

        2. lafe.long

          you are illegally impersonating a clown. Not really any more insane

          +1 juggalo.

      3. Brett L

        You know there used to be literal clown colleges in Florida (and not just UF and UM).

        1. invisible furry hand

          And now there are courses to become licensed clown science practitioners

        2. (((Renegade)))

          Penn is a clown college graduate.

        3. Zeb

          I didn't know there weren't still clown colleges in Florida (and this isn't a joke about Florida's educational institutions).

          1. Brett L

            Ringling Brothers still kind of operates one, but they hold open auditions and you're basically getting OJT, instead of qualifying as a clown first.

            1. lafe.long

              True story.. I was taught to juggle by a graduate of RBBBCC.

      4. ant1sthenes

        Maybe they're Pratchett fans?

    3. Brett L

      I blame Ringling Brothers wintering in Florida for our stringent work regulations on clowns.

  30. Libertarian

    "According to a new report from Amnesty International, Sudan used chemical weapons in Darfur."

    This will be one of Hillary's new wars.

  31. In sad news - the Federal Government will continue to be funded till December 9th.

  32. Lord Humungus

    Bombshell new report reveals Donald Trump's company violated US trade embargo with Castro's Cuba

    A company controlled by Donald Trump, the Republican nominee for president, secretly conducted business in communist Cuba during Fidel Castro's presidency despite strict American trade bans that made such undertakings illegal, according to interviews with former Trump executives, internal company records and court filings.

    Documents show that the Trump company spent a minimum of $68,000 for its 1998 foray into Cuba at a time when the corporate expenditure of even a penny in the Caribbean country was prohibited without U.S. government approval. But the company did not spend the money directly. Instead, with Trump's knowledge, executives funneled the cash for the Cuba trip through an American consulting firm called Seven Arrows Investment and Development Corporation. Once the business consultants traveled to the island and incurred the expenses for the venture, Seven Arrows instructed senior officers with Trump's company?then called Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts?how to make it appear legal by linking it after-the-fact to a charitable effort.

    1. Brett L

      I love this story so much. Remember when the US was evil for embargoing poor Cubans just a couple of years ago until the Lightbringer saved them? And now the same people who tried to sell me that story line are complaining because Trump's company ran an unethical blockade.

      The internal polling in the Democrat camp must be at least a tossup. They are just going to throw everything including the kitchen sink at him.

      1. Raven Nation

        This one could be specific: peel away enough Cuban-Americans in FL (either by moving them to Hillary or convincing them not to vote for Trump), could be enough to move FL into the D column.

        1. Brett L

          Oh, I get it. Once again, we're going to let the idiots I share a state with decide who is going to be president. I think this may be my primary argument against plebicite centered governance.

          1. Raven Nation

            the idiots I share a state

            We all have that problem. Of course, most of our idiots don't really decide elections.

            1. thom

              Seriously. At least in FL it results in some good Cuban food?

      2. John DeWitt

        Fear of being hypocritical has never stayed the hand of either team's smear campaigns.

  33. Middle-aged women can enjoy sex more as they get older, study finds: Greater self-confidence, better communications skills and the ability to persuade male partners to take erectile dysfunction drugs help some middle-aged women enjoy love-making more than ever

    Professor Holly Thomas, of Pittsburgh University, said: "One of the most enlightening findings of this study was the large number of women who had successfully adapted to any negative changes by modifying their expectations regarding sexual activity, putting more emphasis on the emotional and intimacy aspects of sex, or adapting the sex acts themselves."

    Those women who reported enjoying sex more reported using a number of different techniques, such as vaginal lubricants, lengthening foreplay and having different kinds of sex other than penetrative intercourse.

    They also tended to try different sexual positions, masturbate more and encourage their partners to use erectile dysfunction treatments.

    You won't see Reason covering this though, will you?

    1. Lord Humungus

      My wife is such a freak in bed that I had to outsource my labor to outside contractors. /s

      1. I've seen the videos.

        1. Lord Humungus

          so have I /cuck

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      The older the berry, the sweeter the juice.

      1. There is a point where the berry has rotted on the vine and you really don't want that anymore.

        1. Tonio

          Raisins, dude.

          1. You have to carefully cultivate raisins. They require specific conditions. (And the USDA has been known to steal large quantities of them from farmers)

            1. I heard raisins are grown best in a kleptocratic environment.

    3. geo1113

      "...enjoying sex more reported using a number of different techniques..."

      Anal!

      1. Jerryskids

        Fortunately for me my fetish is for the woman to lie back and feign bored indifference.

        1. Lord at War

          Put your tongue in the game, and tell her to "use my ears to steer"...

          #always works

  34. Domestic Dissident

    Islamonazi Washington mall terrorist Arcan Cetin illegally voted in at least three elections.

    P.S.: When the lefty scum in the JournoList tell you that election fraud in America is extremely rare, they're lying through their teeth. It's massive and widespread, especially in the many states that have zero requirements for someone to prove they are who they say they are. And you don't have to be Einstein to guess whether Washington is one of those states. What a fucking joke.

    1. Washington mall terrorist Arcan Cetin illegally voted in at least three elections.

      Ron Bailey assures me that this is not happening, and taking steps to prevent this sort of thing is just Republikkkan racism.

    2. Can't be outraged till I know who he voted for.

      1. ant1sthenes

        I thought it was already reported that he supported Clinton on Facebook. Because obviously that is the first thing people look for when someone goes on a murder spree.

  35. Police in El Cajon, California, say 38-year-old Alfred Okwera Olango pointed a vaping device at police before he was shot and killed by an officer.

    I'm starting to get "innocent unarmed perfect angel of a black guy shot by police" fatigue. The same day the last one got killed in Charlotte, five whites were killed by police elsewhere in the country. None of them were a national news story. Beating me over the head with these shootings amounts to a media narrative meant to fuel riots and looting, it's a self-generating news cycle. And I now officially don't give a fuck anymore.

    1. Zeb

      But it should have been 9 white people. Then there would be no racial disparity and everything would be OK.

      I'll still give a fuck, but it is getting pretty insane. Listen to pretty much any major news outlet and you'd think that the police were hunting black men for sport. The total refusal to report that people of all races get murdered by the police is outrageous.

      I do think that blacks (specifically young black men) do have more to worry about in police encounters than the general public. And that sucks. But you'd think it's a new thing, or getting much worse based on most reporting.

      1. And it's not just that people get murdered by cops all time, because they do and that's bad enough. But what the media is doing, is making martyrs out pieces of shit that earned their death fair and square which casts a shadow (and a media blackout) over legitimate cases of injustice. These stories, like that guy in Charlotte, or Ferguson, or the Patron Saint of Unarmed Blacks Trayvon, are setting back the cause of meaningful reform.

        I'm in a position where I can't believe a word the cops say, I can't believe a word the media says and I can't believe a word that the Black Lives Matter activists say and if the last several cases are any indicator, I can't even believe what the fucking witnesses say. So if I can't trust a single bit of information, I'm all out of fucks to give.

        1. Zeb

          I still have no idea what the hell happened in Charlotte. But it is just amazing that Martin and Brown remain the prominent poster children. I'm not totally convinced it was a deliberate calculation to keep shit stirred up. But sometimes it's hard to believe it isn't.

          1. VG Zaytsev

            Of course it was a deliberate effort to keep,shit stirred up. The proof is the way stories of clear cut police abuse are suppressed and never get national exposure. Like the guy in OK that was murderd by the female cop, or Eric garner, or the kid in Cleveland etc.

            1. Or how outlets like NBC edit 911 calls to make it appear racist.

      2. I do think that blacks (specifically young black men) do have more to worry about in police encounters than the general public. And that sucks. But you'd think it's a new thing, or getting much worse based on most reporting.

        Or that they themselves bear no responsibility for that whatsoever. White or black, if someone dresses like a thug and carries himself like a thug, I'm going to read that book by it's cover. It's not necessarily a race thing but that's impossible to read with a statistical analysis.

      3. Eternal Blue Sky

        The issue of police violence is disheartening. Libertarians have been concerned with it for YEARS and covered it effecting all races.

        Then BLM brought the issue to the forefront of American politics, out of obscurity. Which is good.

        Then BLM made it about race, which isn't good and obscures the real problem.

        Then BLM eviscerated the issue in front of everyone, so now everyone is aware of the issue of police violence, but is now pro-police.

        1. And then prominent BLM activists go into business stoking grievances and making media appearances, capitalizing on racial conflagrations to hustle money from businesses and charities and politicians, which was their purpose all along.

        2. BLM didn't bring the issue of police brutality to the forefront. They brought the issue of "cops are all racist" to the forefront at best, at worst (and more likely) they only thing they've done is convince millions more blacks and whites, that the real problem is white people being racist. Which works against the cause of police reforms.

          The only reform being bandied about is body cams, which are largely ineffectual because they're selectively activated, selectively released, and selectively used as evidence of wrongdoing. The only reform I'm at all interested in is removing their near unlimited immunity to criminal prosecution and dealing with judicial deference to cops even when they do miraculously see the inside of the courtroom as a defendant.

          1. Lord at War

            I saw an article at "The Ringer"... cited 57 police killings, of which at least 15 were blacks.

            But the only ones that mattered were black...

  36. Lord Humungus

    Rick Lowry: The Media Freak-Out

    One, it is galling since the media is collectively deciding to give up on an objectivity that it never had. John McCain and Mitt Romney, upstanding, honorable men who weren't allegedly threats to the republic as we know it, were on the receiving end of more negative coverage than Barack Obama. McCain received twice as much negative coverage as Obama in the 2008 election, according to the Pew Research Center.

    Two, it speaks to a certain contempt for the media's fellow citizens, who are presumed incapable of rationally evaluating the candidates without its thumb on the scale.

    Three, if Trump loses, the press will go right back to its pose of objectivity. Whereas the only good thing about the media's current jag is that it might represent another step toward a more British-style (and traditional American-style) journalism, with outlets forthrightly acknowledging their partisan allegiances.

    Nothing is going to dissuade the press from its current course, though. There is no reasoning with fear and loathing.

    1. WTF

      That right there is what pisses me off about the media, their blatantly dishonest pretense of objectivity. I wouldn't really care if they had the decency to be honest about it, and just called themselves the NY Times-Democrat, or the Democratic News Network, etc. etc.

    2. Domestic Dissident

      "We didn't really mean it all those times before, but we truly mean it now. Seriously, please believe us!"

    3. ant1sthenes

      Two, it speaks to a certain contempt for the media's fellow citizens, who are presumed incapable of rationally evaluating the candidates without its thumb on the scale.

      In fairness, a good chunk of the non-journalist public is quite aware of that contempt and returns it in equal measure.

  37. HT to the folks talking about pellet grills the other day. I'm buying the former Mrs Drew one for her birthday.

    1. You buy presents for your ex-wife? Good on you, mate.

    2. Tonio

      I'm glad you are on such good terms with your ex, or at least hope you are.

    3. Lord Humungus

      *waits impatiently for cannibalism news story*

    4. OneOut

      I got one just a month ago.

      It is incredible. Mine has a slide that allows you to grill at 500 degrees right over the fire or cold smoke at 200. Its operates like an oven but with your choice of smoke flavor.

      I have even cooked a pizza in mine and it came out perfect with smokey melted cheese.

  38. Zeb

    The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit has struck down New Hampshire's ban on taking "selfies" inside the voting both, calling it unconstitutional under the First Amendment.

    So, it's not a crime, which is good. It still means you're a dickhead if you do it, though.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Well sure. But if people don't have the right to be dickheads, everyone here's going to be in jail. Which may happen anyways at some point. Wrongthink and all.

    2. straffinrun

      We need a ban on voting "selfie".

  39. Chipwooder

    Chelsea Clinton shows her passion for clean energy by going to a clean energy roundtable in Asheville, NC.....by taking a private jet from Greenville, NC, a mere 300 miles away.

    1. Chipwooder

      forgot the link

      http://tinyurl.com/ze93zpk

      1. invisible furry hand

        Shut your whore mouth, she's saving the planet, one private jet trip at a time

        1. Chipwooder

          Good point. I'm sure her wealth of energy knowledge was absolutely invaluable at the conference.

    2. She could have flown to Monte Carlo. Now I bet you feel dumb. She saved a bunch if jet fuel.

    3. Lee Genes

      Asheville, a beautiful town tainted by smelly hippies

      1. Chipwooder

        Truth.

    4. Rufus The Monocled

      Nothing says passion for the environment more than the rational utility of fossil fuels.

      1. Rufus The Monocled

        Nothing says passion for the environment more than utilizing the rational utility of fossil fuels.

        That is.

  40. Lee Genes

    A Student In A Gorilla Mask Just Handed Out Bananas At A BlackLivesMatter Protest

    After being questioned by police Tristan Retke was arrested for "civil rights intimidation", which can be prosecuted as either a misdemeanor or a felony in the state of Tennessee.

    Link is to Occupy Democrats. You've been warned.

    1. (((Renegade)))

      Why do they hate Harambe?

    2. Gorilla mask or gorilla mask?

    3. straffinrun

      I've never had someone to my face be disrespectful like that, so it was just new to me.

      Aren't you at a protest against rampant racism?

      1. WTF

        Yeah, but that was only the pretend racism in their heads.

      2. Illocust

        I doubt the student in the mask actually meant to do anything but troll, but the response they garnered does show something wonderful about the why microagressions are called micro.

    4. Just a thought not a sermon

      I'm not saying he was right, but that dude had some balls.

    5. So....hate speech then.

    6. Zeb

      Wow, that is some terrible writing.

    7. WTF

      After being questioned by police Tristan Retke was arrested for "civil rights intimidation", which can be prosecuted as either a misdemeanor or a felony in the state of Tennessee

      I don't see how that can pass First Amendment muster. Other than the FYTW clause, of course.

      1. +1 reasonable regulation

      2. Tonio

        Another case of spineless politicians punting to the courts.

    8. ant1sthenes

      Uh, how was he intimidating them? Implied threat to grab them and climb to the top of the Empire State Building?

  41. Lord Humungus

    U-Mich. students can designate themselves by pronoun
    Students may chose he, she, him, his or ze

    School officials say it's an effort to build inclusiveness on campus. The pronoun could be he, she, him, his or ze.

    Pronouns registered online will pop up in class rosters. Provost Martha Pollack is telling faculty to check the rosters in a few weeks to give students time to designate one, although a registered pronoun is not required.

    Pollack says correctly using someone's pronoun "is one of the most basic ways to show respect" for a student's identity. The policy was developed by a university pronoun committee.

    1. liechecker

      My identity compels me to use the pronoun "GiantPenis"

      1. Chipwooder

        This is going to happen, and the fallout is going to be marvelous.

    2. invisible furry hand

      My preferred pronoun is "my lady"

      1. Private Chipperbot

        His Excellency Chipper is happy to meet you.

    3. "If you don't like what I call you, your pronoun will be 'dumbass'. Have a nice day."

    4. Lord Humungus

      pronoun Committee

      *shakes head*

    5. Brett L

      If we're making up pronouns, you can all call me master, and I'll refer to you as slave or slaves, because I identify as better than you.

    6. The pronoun could be he, she, him, his or ze.

      Setting aside how retarded unilateral pronoun designation is to begin with, why do they insist on using grammatically incorrect variants? Choosing between he and his as though they were the same grammatical case. Seems like pandering to the lowest common denominator.

      1. Tonio

        Language does change over time. I'm not as concerned about that as I am about pandering to whiners.

    7. Rufus The Monocled

      Ze Rufus.

      I kinda like the ring to that.

      1. WTF

        You know who else spoke with a German accent?

        1. Agent Cooper

          Madeleine Kahn?

    8. Zeb

      he, she, him, his or ze

      Why are he, him and his all on the list?

      My pronoun is "I". It gets really confusing when people are talking in the first person.

    9. Eternal Blue Sky

      I always pick, when given the option me/my/myself.

    10. Time to start shorting the inevitable and obviously overdue university bubble?

    11. ant1sthenes

      It's not very respectful if you don't use one of those pronouns. In fact, the disrespect is even more... pronounced.

  42. liechecker

    In a CNN town hall appearance last night, President Barack Obama referred to Donald Trump's claims about waning U.S. power as "blah, blah. It's nonsense."

    NO MORE BLAH BLAH! BONK BONK ON THE HEAD!

  43. Lee Genes

    Harambe ain't dead, he's gone interstellar

    1. Citizen X

      In space, no one can hear your dick out.

  44. Juvenile Bluster

    More fun with JB's prog friends. Yesterday I mentioned one of them sharing the "THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HILLARY IS SEXISM!" article, and the "She has to be a hawk because nobody would take her seriously if she wasn't" thought. After my (libertarian!) wife called him out on the bullshit, this is how he responded. Mansplaining!

    What part of "I am not going to argue with an individual who claims that their particular view of her is not rooted in sexism" did you not get? That's not the point. My point was speaking to a much larger picture, and yet anytime someone says that there is a lot of sexism at play in the way she is and always has been treated, there are people who take it as a personal attack on their personal view of her, and stand up and say "hogwash, that's not why *I* don't like her!" Did it ever occur to you, for example, that sexist treatment might be at play in why she is such a hawk on foreign affairs? That sexist treatment by the media might play a role in how you perceive her?

    But you want a pass. Fine. You have a pass. Sexism has played no role whatsoever in your personal opinion of Hillary Clinton. Does that make you feel better?

    1. Citizen X

      Your friends have some pretty shitty opinions.

    2. This is why it's just better to not have friends.

    3. Rufus The Monocled

      LARGE PICTURES NEED BIGGER CRAYONS.

    4. Eternal Blue Sky

      "that sexist treatment might be at play in why she is such a hawk on foreign affairs?"

      If sexism turns women into bloodthirsty warmongers than I'm afraid I would never be able to vote for a woman in good conscious.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I brought that up, and he told me that she's only been a hawk for show and she's totally going to govern differently as President.

        1. ant1sthenes

          Qaddafi is actually living in an undisclosed location in Bethesda right now.

    5. WTF

      Your friend is an irrational idiot. No offense.

    6. Get To Da Chippah

      Sexism in government forced Hillary to vote for the Iraq War, you shitlords!

    7. Deactivated my FB account a few weeks ago. I barely used it so it's hardly a milestone, but thanks for the reminder that social media is rank.

  45. John

    Are conservative economists and the CATO people really this stupid? In response to Trump's trade proposals, they say the following

    The growth in any nation's gross domestic product (GDP) ? and therefore its ability to create jobs and generate additional income and tax revenues ? is driven by four factors: consumption growth, the growth in government spending, investment growth, and net exports. When net exports are negative, that is, when a country runs a trade deficit by importing more than it exports, this subtracts from growth."

    That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. First, consumption is a good way to measure GDP but it doesn't drive GDP. If it did, the broken windows fallacy wouldn't be a fallacy. Second, it is not a zero sum game. If you sell widgets abroad that doesn't mean you have to sell fewer of them here. You can make more than the domestic market needs. Moreover, if what this guy were saying were true, there would be no point to free trade since all it would buy us is selling more stuff abroad at the price of selling less here.

    Have they really become corrupted by the Keyesnian myth that you can consume your way to wealth that much? Were they misquoted?

    1. Lee Genes

      That's disappointing coming from Cato.

      1. John

        It gets better

        And then we get this from CATO.

        By simply exporting more and importing less, they argue, US businesses and workers would enjoy much healthier economic growth. However, as experts like economist Alan Cole, pointed out on Monday, the interplay between the elements of GDP is much more complicated than that. Every widget sent overseas is a widget that isn't consumed domestically. So while sending it overseas helps bring down the negative impact of a trade imbalance, it does so by reducing the impact of domestic consumption on GDP.

        To be sure, it is possible to increase the productivity of US workers, creating more widgets but there's precious little evidence in the white paper that suggests that would suddenly occur. In fact, with the Trump plan restricting foreign competition -- as it promises to do -- claiming that US industries would respond with increased efficiency and innovation flies in the face of the laws of economics.

        "There is so much wrong with it in terms of basic facts and policy," said Scott Lincicome, a trade attorney and adjunct scholar at the libertarian Cato Institute.

        If we were at full employment and full capacity, sure.

        1. Brett L

          Are you sure the first part wasn't summarizing his position? Because what they've been describing (and you attacking) is mercantilism -- which is basically Trump's plan.

          1. John

            The quote speaks for itself. He is saying that the only way we could increase exports is by increasing productivity, which he rightly sees as a hard thing to do. If we were at full employment and capacity, he would be right. The problem is we have the lowest labor force participation rate since the 70s and are operating way below full capacity. So, we don't have to increase productivity to export more. We just have to use more of the labor and capital we have but are currently sitting idle.

            The guy in this quote is either lying or living in a different universe were the US is at full employment.

            1. paranoid android

              Maybe you should let the source of the quote "speak for itself" by actually linking it?

              1. John

                Or maybe you should try and add something to he conversation beyond "BUT TRUMP". Who gives a shit about Trump? this is about CATO and stupid their ideas are.

              2. John

                Do you have anything to add android? Do you ever? The quotes are authentic. Who gives a shit about the link? If you don't have anything to say, don't say it.

                1. paranoid android

                  Classic thin-skinned bitching from you. It's no wonder you admire Trump, you clearly see so much of yourself in him.

                2. paranoid android

                  See, a good reason to include a link is so that curious readers can determine whether you're attributing quotes incorrectly, as you did here. Now, I won't speculate as to whether that was a mistake in good and bad faith, but it's telling that rather than owning up to the error, you go right for whiny personal attacks.

                  1. KB Check Release

                    Dude, calm your John Derangement Syndrome.

                    You're going to give yourself an ulcer.

            2. T.F.G.

              You are misinterpreting. Cato is the one rebutting Trump's economic claims.

        2. Lee Genes

          It's indicative of a top-down control mentality that has creeped into Cato's ranks. Even if you agree that GDP is a valid indicator of economic health, which I don't, the inclusion of government spending in that number from a supposedly libertarian organization is fairly astounding.

          1. WTF

            Yeah, that one really stands out for me.

    2. Brett L

      Okay, let's say you sell me 1M computers at $500 each, and I sell you 10M services at $60 each. We have imported 1M computers and exported nothing, but also my economy is net $100M to the good and your economy is net $100M worth of services to the good. There's no such thing as a trade deficit. People don't just set the fucking money on fire. If you are in monetary deficit, that means that you are trading away money for goods that are more valuable to you than the money.

      1. Libertarian

        TRADE deficit. One of my favorite oxymorons.

        1. John

          It is only an oxymoron if you think of money as the same thing as wealth, which in other contexts I doubt you do.

      2. invisible furry hand

        People don't just set the fucking money on fire.

        Actually some people do...

        1. Brett L

          Its a fair cop.

      3. John

        The money isn't wealth, so there is. The books have to balance. If I buy more goods and services from you than you do from me, I get the goods and services and you get the money. That money has to come from somewhere. If we still had a gold based currency, trade deficits would solve themselves because eventually I would run out of money or credit, my economy would contract, I would stop buying from you and things would go back into balance. Under a fiat currency, that doesn't have to happen. I can just keep printing and borrowing money not forever but forever but for a very long time.

        What we are doing with the currency and the trade deficit is in my opinion just a variation of Keynesian nonsense. We keep borrowing and printing money to finance buying overseas goods on the false premise that we can consume our way to prosperity.

        1. Brett L

          If we still had a gold based currency, trade deficits would solve themselves because eventually I would run out of money or credit, my economy would contract, I would stop buying from you and things would go back into balance.

          Or you'd just start selling opium for the silver that you had to buy the tea with and precipitate several mercantile wars. Having all the specie end up in one place is not good.

        2. Lee Genes

          We're well past Keynes at this point. Even he advocated for a pull back in government spending in times of relative wealth.

        3. ant1sthenes

          "The money isn't wealth, so there is. The books have to balance."

          Maybe so, but it seems like the guy who has stuff right now is in a better situation than the guy who has IOUs for stuff in the future. I.e., a trade deficit seems like a good thing in general, and an amazing one if you have the power to manipulate the money supply and dick the guys holding the dollars.

    3. straffinrun

      Were they describing how GDP is calculated currently or the way it should be calculated? Your right that it sounds like they are completely ignoring the benefits that come from division of labor.

      1. Jordan

        Sounds like they were describing perfectly how it is currently calculated. It's why GDP is a terrible measurement.

        1. John

          Yes they were describing how it was calculated. Given the context, however, they were assuming that GDP is a definitive measure of wealth and that basically you can consume your way to prosperity. Note they said "consumption DRIVES GDP' not that it measures it.

    4. paranoid android

      No thanks to John's linking skills, I found the article this quote is from:

      http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/.....-Proposals

      Here it is in context:

      Commentators took special exception to Navarro's and Ross's discussion of the nature of the country's Gross Domestic Product and its relationship with the trade deficit.

      "The growth in any nation's gross domestic product (GDP) ? and therefore its ability to create jobs and generate additional income and tax revenues ? is driven by four factors: consumption growth, the growth in government spending, investment growth, and net exports. When net exports are negative, that is, when a country runs a trade deficit by importing more than it exports, this subtracts from growth."

      What they are quoting in that passage is the white paper produced by Trump's economic team. Just so everyone is clear, what John is calling "the dumbest thing he's ever read" is Trump's economic proposals.

      1. Citizen X

        [plays descending minor scale on a mute trombone]

      2. Lee Genes

        Thank you

      3. straffinrun

        Wow. That did sound odd coming from Cato.

      4. John

        By simply exporting more and importing less, they argue, US businesses and workers would enjoy much healthier economic growth. However, as experts like economist Alan Cole, pointed out on Monday, the interplay between the elements of GDP is much more complicated than that. Every widget sent overseas is a widget that isn't consumed domestically. So while sending it overseas helps bring down the negative impact of a trade imbalance, it does so by reducing the impact of domestic consumption on GDP.

        To be sure, it is possible to increase the productivity of US workers, creating more widgets but there's precious little evidence in the white paper that suggests that would suddenly occur. In fact, with the Trump plan restricting foreign competition -- as it promises to do -- claiming that US industries would respond with increased efficiency and innovation flies in the face of the laws of economics.

        "There is so much wrong with it in terms of basic facts and policy," said Scott Lincicome, a trade attorney and adjunct scholar at the libertarian Cato Institute.

        Have that for some context

        1. paranoid android

          So are you standing by calling that passage from Trump's team's own proposal the dumbest thing you've ever read, or...?

        2. I'll be honest, my eyes glaze over a bit over discussions of international trade. It's simultaneously needlessly overcomplicated and hopelessly oversimplified, and I'm always left wondering Why are we discussing trade in terms of national economies and not individual firms? If firms are profit-seeking institutions they'll find a way to maximize revenue through trade and in consequence maximizing their tax remit. But I am not a clever man.

          However, I do have to wonder: are our supposed losses to international trade even comparable within a couple orders of magnitude to our losses to the domestic regulatory superstate? Okay, fine, let's concede that China is somehow kicking in our teeth by subsidizing our consumption. What would have the bigger effect on domestic GDP next year: a 40% tariff on Chinese goods (assuming no retaliatory tariffs), or dismantling the EPA?

          1. I realize these aren't comparable scenarios in terms of political capital. Tariffs are relatively easy to enforce while federal bureaucracies are immortal. But if we're backed into a corner having to decide whether an iffy, tendentious issue like international trade trumps a relatively uncontroversial issue like overregulation, haven't we already lost the narrative a bit? Are pro-trade conservatives really traitors to the movement relative to a man who promises more federal spending and tightening the noose on American corporations?

      5. spqr2008

        I read this somewhere, and thought of the third line all by myself (I'm a big boy!):

        Hillary as President is like playing Russian Roulette with a Semiautomatic
        Trump as President is like playing Russian Roulette with a Six chamber revolver
        Gary Johnson as President is like not playing Russian Roulette.

        1. Voting for Johnson is literally taking an automatic rifle and gunning down all of the voters for [Hillary/Trump]. Literally doing exactly that.

      6. thanks.

    5. CATO is a bunch of Chicago school pseudo free marketers. Don't look so surprised.

    6. ant1sthenes

      "First, consumption is a good way to measure GDP but it doesn't drive GDP. "

      I don't even know what this means. GDP is a metric; whether it not it conveys useful information is beside the point. Consumption and government spending are parts of GDP. GDP is a stupid way to measure the economy, but it's useful for establishment economics since it assumes the conclusion that government spending is good.

      Do you mean that consumption is a poor way to measure improvement in standard of living?

  46. Raven Nation

    Pretty funny from the BBC. Background: England football manager was fired this week after only 67 days in charge. So BBC has a short clip on "events that last longer than Allardyce's term":

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/live/37157479

    1. Lord Humungus

      My erection?

      1. Citizen X

        You should probably see a doctor.

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