Baseball

Miami Marlins Pitcher Jose Fernandez, Survivor of Cuba's Castro Regime, Dies at 24

The father-to-be was one of three killed in a late-night boating accident.

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Jose Fernandez, survivor of the Castros
Flickr/Arturo Pardavila III

Miami Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez, one of the top young hurlers in Major League Baseball (MLB) and a leading contender for this year's National League (NL) Cy Young Award, has died at the age of 24 in a boating accident off the coast of Miami Beach. The tragic mishap also claimed the lives of two other people early this morning, Miami's Local News 10 reports.

Fernandez, the 2013 NL Rookie of the Year and a 2-time All-Star, had recently announced he and his girlfriend were expecting their first child.

In a 2013 interview with the Miami Herald, the Cuban-born Fernandez said he had spent a year in prison as a teenager for "illegally attempting to leave the country." In Fernandez's telling, it would take four attempts for he and his family to finally be able to successfully flee the impoverished island prison run by the Castro brothers since 1959.

When they crammed themselves onto a speedboat headed for Mexico and eventually the U.S., they had to avoid "flying bullets from Cuban coast guard boats" and then had to endure days "in the solitude of the the ocean," according to the Herald. When one of the people in the boat fell overboard, Fernandez says he immediately jumped into the sea in an attempted rescue. He was successful, and only after securing the person did he realize the life he saved was his mother's.

Despite the re-opening of the U.S. embassy in Havana and the normalizing of diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Cuba, Raul Castro still presides over a corrupt and inept one-party communist government which brooks no dissent and severely restricts the free flow of information. It shouldn't be surprising that Cubans continue to flee their home country, but that they are reportedly leaving in 78 percent greater numbers than they were a year prior demonstrates that Cubans sense their special status—allowing them an easier path to naturalization in the U.S. than any other country's migrants—might be on its way out as a result of better relations between the two countries' governments.

The Marlins released a statement via Twitter that they were canceling today's game versus the Atlanta Braves.

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  1. Well, that ruins my day.

    1. My best friend’s sister makes $89 an hour on the internet . She has been out of a job for six months but last month her check was $14750 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go this website and click tech tab to start your work… Now this website… http://goo.gl/bvaZx7

    2. My best friend’s sister makes $89 an hour on the internet . She has been out of a job for six months but last month her check was $14750 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go this website and click tech tab to start your work… Now this website… http://goo.gl/bvaZx7

  2. Yikes. Tragic. As a Met fan, I watched him numerous times befuddle their lineup, and always with a smile. Very sad.

    1. By the way, similar in tragedy to Pelle Lindbergh of the Flyers. Both at the top of their game. One in the water, the other on the road.

      1. Indeed.

        Sounds like this tragedy is similar to Luc Bourdon who played for the Vancouver Canucks who was killed in a motorcycle accident.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luc_Bourdon

        1. Yes. And with Lindbergh, speed and alcohol. And with this one at 3:30 AM, I get the feeling the similarities might be even more than first blush, sadly.

    2. I will remember how much he visibly enjoyed playing the game and playing it well

      1. I remember one game he came up to bat against de Grom, I think it was. De Grom threw a nasty curve that Jose took for a called strike.

        He had the biggest grin on his face, like “yeah, that’s pitching.” The guy loved the game. A true artist, and entertainer. Huge loss. Tomorrow night will be something.

        1. Just been watching some of his stuff. His grin was infectious. Looked like a kid living out his fantasy.

          https://youtu.be/axg5uw0i33c – Pranking fans at spring training

          https://youtu.be/T3BJwcUE9_Y – Grinning after Kenta Maeda fools him with a pitch

          https://youtu.be/pGwhL3VIXxs – Fernandez and Bonds yukking it up in the dugout

          https://youtu.be/S6OxpsF4aNw – Hits his first HR, watchs it in shock, and the constipated thought police players take issue

          https://youtu.be/hZ7vbc3uE7E – Photobombs a reporters

          And then totally dominates on the mound

          1. And at the other end of life, it looks like Arnold Palmer died today as well. Two sports lose maybe their biggest fun-lovers

  3. This is so sad. Poor guy.

    When they crammed themselves onto a speedboat headed for Mexico and eventurally the U.S., they had to avoid “flying bullets from Cuban coast guard boats” and then had to endure days “in the solitude of the the ocean,” according to the Herald. When one of the people in the boat fell overboard, Fernandez says he immediately jumped into the sea in an attempted rescue. He was successful, and only after securing the person did he realize the life he saved was his mother’s.

    *nascent Mattingly joke dies*

    1. I don’t get it.

      Speedboats don’t require “days in the solitude of the ocean” to go from Cuba to Florida.

      Unless they run out of fuel of course.

      1. a speedboat headed for Mexico and eventurally the U.S

        Still doesn’t make sense that I can see

        1. Its a ‘journalist’, ‘reporting’. A reporter knowing nothing about economics, business, law, guns, military vehicles, nutrition, etc doesn’t disqualify them from ‘reporting’ on those topics.

          So it would not be surprising that this one simply thinks that all watercraft are either sailboats or speedboats like all guns are machine guns and all armored vehicles are tanks.

  4. As an institution, baseball was having such an interesting season coming down to the wire, and then this…?

    Can’t have nice things in 2016.

    1. I think it is because MLB named its pitching award after Cy Young instead of Rube Waddell.

      Shit the Rube’s stats were way better than Cy’s and they pitched at the same time. Sure Rube had a few quirks.

      Waddell had a habit of leaving the dugout in the middle of games to follow passing fire trucks to fires. He performed as an alligator wrestler in the offseason, and also played professional football in the first National Football League, as a fullback for the Philadelphia Athletics in 1902. Newspapers of the time referred to Waddell as “eccentric.” Others called him “screwball” or “nutsy.”

      1. Cy Young put up twice as many fWAR over his career. They had similarly good peaks, but Young pitched 8 years longer and was much better at the beginning and end of his career

        1. Did Cy Young ever pull a gun on his manager?
          Did Cy Young ever get bitten by a lion?
          Did Cy Young wrestle alligators in the offseason?
          Did Cy Young ever pitch a double header (26 innings total) in one day because he got a bonus of a free fishing trip?

          I could go on, but I rest my case. Cy couldn’t carry Rube’s crazy ass jockstrap if he had help.

  5. Anyone have details on the “tragic mishap”?


    1. Lorenzo Veloz of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission confirmed that, telling reporters mid-morning that the 32-foot SeaVee was traveling full speed when it struck the rocks, according to the AP. There was no evidence of alcohol or illegal substances and Fernandez, he added, was not wearing a life vest.

      more

      1. There was no evidence of alcohol or illegal substances…

        3AM, hauling ass on the water? Well, until they ran into the jetty, anyway.

        I’m going to just say that TPTB might want to wait until blood tests of the deceased come back before stating there wasn’t any evidence of booze or drugs.

        Tragic loss for the Marlins and for the deceased’ families.

        1. He was pretty vocal in his condemnation of the Castro regime. Maybe he was running down and getting defectors. In a 30′ speedboat that wouldn’t take more than a few hours each way and Miami would be a better route back in than Key West.

          Who knows what happened, but from the press conference I saw the guy from FWCC was pretty insistent that alcohol didn’t play a part and that only two of the people onboard were known to them.

          1. Maybe he was running down and getting defectors.

            thats an interesting argument.

            Still, if you’re in the miami waterways… going full-speed inshore isn’t exactly the subtle/steath method to avoid attracting attention. seems like a stretch.

            1. I,don’t think he was inshore though. He was entering the jetty from the ocean, I thought.

              Either way, attracting attention wasn’t probably their worry at that hour.

              Sounds like they got disoriented as to where the horizon is. I’m sure the left will be here any minute to tell us we need to outlaw boats after dusk and/or require every foot of shoreline to be well lit…with a nice government grant of course.

              1. Actually, they’ve gotten outdoor lighting banned in most places near the beach. Apparently it discombobulates hatchling sea turtles, which crawl toward the light instead of the sea, supposedly.

              2. Honestly, I would imagine moving at high speed on the water at 0300 would generate a yuuuuge amount of attention in that area – from the DEA, Coast Guard, and local police. All looking for another drug bust to justify their being awake at 0300.

              3. What? Are you suggesting that pols would use this as an opportunity to pass a law that will have almost no effect? But possibly steer some business to their cronies?

                NO WAY!

                The link is to a story about how a grieving parent got pols to pass a law requiring “a hard-wired, marine-certified carbon monoxide detector” (battery operated or home detectors don’t cut it) on any boat in Minnesoda that has an enclosed cabin.

                How many have died? Well, in the last 9 years it has been 3. The little girl the law is named after and 2 fisherman.

          2. Would a console boat like that one have enough bunkerage to make the trip across the Straits at full throttle? I wouldn’t think so, but I don’t drive boats.

            On land, wealthy dude, high speed crash, 3AM, usually equals booze. But maybe he was playing Senor Tubman? Good on him if he was.

            1. It should. A 30′ center console ought to have at least 300 gallons of fuel. My guess is that throttled halfway up it still ought to have a 350 mile range at 40 knots. That’s getting after it in the middle of the night. I’ve been 60 knots in pitch dark once on a cigarette boat. It,was,fucking terrifying.

        2. Yeah, i had the same thought. Its sort of like DeBlasio’s “NO KNOWN TERROR CONNECTION” 10 seconds after a bomb goes off.

          The media acts all “responsible” and jumps to ‘not-jumping-to-conclusions’ when the people involved are important/respectable.

          *When its some poor crazy motherfucker who does something violent, well, then its simply *self-evident* that its Bath Salts, or Flakka, or Spice or something.

          *Or ‘mental illness’ (despite knowing nothing about the persons actual medical history – they’ll just repeat ‘history of mental illness’ if anyone so much as suggests a person was ‘depressed’ or ‘had mood swings’.)

          1. I’m reminded of how there was almost no tut-tutting when Diana Spencer wasn’t wearing her seat belt. It was all the photographers’ fault.

        3. Testosterone to blame.

      2. Such irony to survive boating from Cuba, then to die in a boating accident.

  6. it would take four attempts for he him and his family

  7. Thanks ESPN!

    It is better than the MSNBC impersonation this site has been doing, though.

  8. Random Things

    I saw this pic and imagined Reagan shouting “die, you commy punks!”

    The Dubya one is pretty good too.

  9. Has the media blamed it on ‘doping’ yet, or are they too busy covering for Hillary?

    1. Why can’t it be both?

      1. I’m sure it will be.

  10. Meanwhile, Sanders is magical and Hillary Clinton admits to pandering.

    https://youtu.be/LGH9fqcj76Y?t=2m25s

    A few minutes later in the same video, she does a Forrest Gump parody.

  11. Anyone mentioned yet that the ‘Hispanic’ dude in the WA mall shooting was a Turkish immigrant? Damn Mexicans, again.

    1. This is pretty much the ne plus ultra of cosmotarians posts. Immigrant butchers five people in cold blood and an open borders fanatic like Hyperion is waving the Team Open Borders foam finger because the immigrant wasn’t Mexican.

      1. I don’t think that was Hyp’s point.

        You make an interesting case-study yourself, there. e.g. ‘seeing what you want to see’

      2. Anyone hear that sound?

        whooosshhhhh!!!!!

      3. an open borders fanatic like Hyperion

        /derp

        1. Ole’ Sam here is pretty good at missing the mark.

      4. Is the weather different where you are, so far up your own ass?

    2. Dude, they have similar skin color and the facial structure is not very different. Hispanics and Turks are both Caucasian.

      If you live your life surrounded by geese, and never saw a swan, you could be forgiven for thinking a swan was a goose when you saw it.

      1. He was an “Hispanic Turk” like George Zimmerman was a white Hispanic.

      2. “Dude, they have similar skin color and the facial structure is not very different. Hispanics and Turks are both Caucasian.”

        Umm, no, not even close. The facial structure of middle easterners is very different from hispancs, especially those of hispanic origin in the Americas who are mixed race with native Americans. And when the media are saying ‘hispanic’, they are not referring to blue eyed white people from Spain. They are probably too dumb to even know what hispanic means. They meant Latin Americans, specifically.

        1. Turks actually do look a lot like Mexicans. Some of them. Some Mexicans. Had a Mexican friend of mine *confuse the Turk themselves* whenever we made port calls there.

          1. The initial report was based on fuzzy security cam footage. Not sure why they jumped to “Hispanic” but it’s not entirely ridiculous.

    3. I read where two of the people he killed were his ex girlfriend and her mother. That makes me think that this was some kind of sorry domestic conflict revenge thing rather than Islamic terrorism. It might be both but I doubt the fact that he killed his ex girlfriend was an accident.

      1. Yeah, but that wasn’t my point, John. My point is that the shameless media, as usual, try to deflect from what ‘might’ be going on. Remember the CA terrorists attack when the media said the suspects were hispanic?

        1. Yes. and I didn’t mean to imply you were wrong about that. The media is scum.

        2. I remember several years ago a dude went through a mall in Las Vegas shooting people with a shotgun and squawking “allah akbar!” and the news media refused to report that or his name until months later when it came out in one small paragraph at the bottom of page 10.

      2. I have only seen one report on some obscure blog where his tweets were shown. He tweeted “We won! I am voting for Hillary Clinton!”

        I haven’t seen that on the MSM

    4. Yes.

      His name was Mohamed Gomez.

      1. Why do you keep repeating this?

  12. More random things

    Walmart workers refuse to decorate cake with “blue lives matter”, say slogan is racist:
    http://www.toddstarnes.com/col…..ement-cake

    File under “how not to get your ass kicked by the police”: able-bodied black man parks in handicapped spot, black cop catches him and writes a ticket. Much screeching about racism ensues
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uLN_XuN1Cs

    1. Imagine if they refused to decorate a cake with “gay lives matter”.

    2. These things have a way of correcting themselves. Even a gentle big animal will tear you to pieces if you poke it with a stick enough times. The leftists have poked us with the racism stick a fucking lot.

      And of course the moral, hardworking, respectable blacks will be lumped in with the rest when the reaction comes. I do not condone, only foretell.

    3. 1. Disabled parking should not be legally mandated.

      With that said, given how easy it is to get a disabled parking pass and the fact that its just not that fucking far to walk even from the back of most parking lots, you don’t get a lot of sympathy from me for trying to snag one.

  13. A survivor of Ergodan’s Turkey killed five people yesterday. Diversity is strength comrade commissar.

    1. You really should stfu before you embarrass yourself any further.

  14. How to make a bad situation worse: black driver in Charlotte, NC pulled over for driving 39 in a 25 zone. Cop asks for license, driver refuses. Cop tries to arrest her, but she drives off. Cops pursue and arrest her.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Bdg7n4OWg

    1. Police officer asks girl question: Assaulted by drunk screaming women

      shows how a routine stop gets turned into arrest of 3 women, who then sue the police for ‘brutality’, and who are then counter-charged with resisting arrest (aggravated by racist remarks), and jailed. Case-study in how entitled, hysterical people create vicious-cycle of over-reaction.

      One can argue that police are obligated to de-escalate, and i totally agree. In both this case (and the toronto parking lot thing above) the police bend over backwards to try and give these people the chance to finish venting and then go on their merry ways. The problem with these examples is that it seems like some people take the leeway being given as an excuse to just assume that they can browbeat authority into submission. or, in your example, “just drive off” after being pulled over.

      this is not any apologia for police = this is just pointing out that there’s a culture of hysteria surrounding police interactions, and that some people literally invent conflict out of thin air, and the fucking cops are finding themselves pulling out guns against people who they’d have far preferred to simply give a citation and a “have a nice day”

      1. One can argue that police are obligated to de-escalate, and i totally agree.

        I’m not understanding this. If someone behaves this way toward the police, they’re probably behaving at least as badly to other citizens. Why should the police coddle and encourage them?

        1. If someone behaves this way toward the police, they’re probably behaving at least as badly to other citizens. Why should the police coddle and encourage them?

          regardless of people’s behavior, the job of a cop is to enforce the law, and as douchey or irascible as people might behave, they need to try to keep the engagement focused on enforcing the law-at-hand – the reason for the engagement – and not simply perpetuating a cycle of escalation where they create a bigger problem out the engagement itself. Its not “coddling” – its doing their job, and just their job

          iow, the duty of the cop is to shrug off things like the Toronto-parking-lot jerk‘s insults, his shrieking defensiveness, etc (which they do)…. and just give the guy his fucking ticket.

          The cop shouldn’t go looking for “disturbing the peace” or creating additional cite-able offenses out of mere-engagement. Its not “coddling”.

          That said = as both of the above examples illustrate, there is a point where police are effectively being forced to react. The cop in both situations are telling the people to calm down, and they’re (repeatedly) giving the individuals their opportunity to vent their bullshit. Once that’s done – typically people realize they’re in the wrong and take their ticket and go home, albeit miffed.

          in these cases, you have psychos who think they can ‘shout down cops’. Which is fucking moronic.

      2. This is the one that led to the cop crying while testifying, isn’t it

        1. yes, which i still think is a hilarious case-study in “police learning the passive-aggressive tactics of the SJW”

          “Cry your way to power”. Cry ‘racism’ *against* the white woman. This is what happens when the tactics of the crybabies are co-opted by the power structure.

      3. One *partial* solution to this is to not have so many things that obligate (because they’re doing their job) police to stop people going about their business.

        Reasonable code and traffic laws – not revenue-enhancing ones, not ones that are designed to allow ‘stop-and-look’ (like the ‘can’t obscure the border printing on your license plate’ law AZ has – that’s designed to facilitate pretext stops), not drug or other vice laws.

        1. There was a brickat last week about Florida having a similar law.

          I’m also reminded of the Michigan law that says you can’t flash your high-beams within 500 feet of an oncoming car, and a cop killing a ~19-year-old after stopping him for doing so.

      4. just assume that they can browbeat authority into submission

        I prefer the term “brownbeat,” as in skin color trumps legal liability.

    2. Damn, I wanted to shoot the bitch.

    3. “That’s my wife”
      “congratulations”

  15. Interesting timeline from a comenter on a PJ media article that of course Reason won’t accept the link for.

    The timeline tells it all:

    Monday, June 27, 2016: Bill Clinton met with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac in Phoenix.

    Saturday, July 2, 2016: There’s this shifty FBI interview set-up, with Hillary on a Saturday morning on a HOLIDAY WEEKEND, at the FBI Headquarters in Washington ? when LOTS of FBI employees were off (fewer witnesses). The entire interview was jut a charade and Comey is a LIAR ? he covered this up. Who was actually present is an interesting question ? out of Hillary’s team of lawyers, the FBI redacted ONE name from the notes. It listed David E. Kendall, Cheryl D. Mills, Heather Samuelson, Katherine Turner. The NY Times, back in July, reported that other lawyer as Amy Saharia, but I doubt that is the truth. It makes NO sense to redact her name. The FBI redacted the names of THREE DOJ officials present. Who the heck was present on a Saturday morning, on a long holiday weekend??? It’s a cover-up.

    Tuesday , July 5, 2016: In the morning, after this long holiday weekend, FBI Director Comey makes his bizarre announcement that there would be no criminal charges.

    1. On July 2nd, the New York Times reported:

      “Accompanying Mrs. Clinton into the meeting were her lawyer David E. Kendall; Cheryl D. Mills and Heather Samuelson, longtime aides who are also lawyers; and two lawyers from Mr. Kendall’s firm, Williams & Connolly, Katherine Turner and Amy Saharia.

      Eight officials from the F.B.I. and the Department of Justice conducted the interview, according to a person who was familiar with the substance of the session but declined to be named because the meeting was private. This person characterized the meeting as “civil” and “businesslike.””

      http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07...

    2. So, when the FBI released Hillary’s interview notes, the first paragraph makes no sense at all, when compared to the NY Times report on Juy 2nd. The Clinton lawyer redaction would be Amy Saharia, which makes no sense. Why would the FBI redact her name? She’s a nobody in this invesigation and even Mills who was granted immunity is listed. Then there’s the FBI/DOJ officials. The FBI Notes list FBI Section Chief, Peter P. Strzok and David Laufman and there are three blocks of redactions, which would seem to indicate 5 FBI/DOJ officials present, compared to the EIGHT mentioned in the NY Times story. Now, if that one very long block of redacted information is more than one name, we are still left with the FBI gave us 2 names of FBI/DOJ people present and the NY Times reported EIGHT. Who are these 6 FBI/DOJ people and why were their names redacted and why on earth redact Amy Saharia’s name?

      Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch STAGED this charade; they planned it on June 27th on the tarmac in Phoenix.

      1. At this point John, is there anyone who cant see through all of that? One sane person in the country that doesnt know what they did? Running around stomping her hairy feet and screaming “You cant prove anything!” doesnt mean anyone believes Cankles is innocent.

        She is going to lose. If she weren’t such an incorrigible crook and compulsive liar she probably would have won in a landslide, but she just couldn’t help herself.

        1. She has had two jobs since her tenure as first lady and both were in public service. She claims she and Slick Willy were dead broke when they left the whitehouse. SOS pays 145,100/yr which she held for four years and as Senator she made 174,000/yr.

          She is now worth 111 million minus whatever real estate she owns.

          Nope, not even a smidgin of corruption there. No reason to suspect anything.

          1. minus whatever real estate she owns? Why would you subtract an asset?

            1. After a point you’re dealing in orders of magnitude rather than meaningful leading digits.

              1. $125 million vs $111 million is a substantial difference. $15 million in real estate for someone worth 9 figures isn’t unusual for people in the Midwest. It must be pretty common for those who buy their property in the expensive parts of the East Coast

                1. And adding it instead of subtracting it makes it more than a quarter of the total amount

                  1. 25k vs 11k would be significant. 125k vs 111k would be consequential, but not substantial. 1250k vs 1110k is so far beyond the pale it’s nothing worth discussing.

                    1. Who’s suggesting billions of dollars? No one in this thread that I’ve read

        2. They gave Mills immunity not just for her testimony but for anything found on her laptop. Think about that. You have a right not to incriminate yourself, not withhold physical evidence. It is like giving you immunity on anything you say and that written confession we found in your desk. It is just so appalling.

          1. I think it’s apparent to everyone that the entire thing is a sham and miscarriage of justice. Except for the left… well, they know it too, they just don’t care. For the left, all that is important is winning, principles, morals, decency be damned. Most of them will actually admit as much. Maybe this partially explains why they are so terrified of Donald Trump. They’ve aided and abetted, and cheered on lawlessness and they shudder to think what that might look like under an administration they don’t agree with. No wonder a majority of them would approve of a 3rd term for Obama with no election.

            1. The media acted as Democratic operatives but the deal was that the Democrats didn’t abuse the privilige such that it became too obvious that the media were operatives. The Clintons and now the Obamas have needless to say abused that privilege in the extreme. When the Clintons leave the scene either this November or in 2020 along with the Obamas, the media will have nothing left. The entire thing will be in shambles.

  16. If I could have afforded a quarter million dollar go-fast boat when I was 24 I’d probably be dead too.

    Sad story, but not very surprising.

    1. My grandfather had a 30 ft dual outboard monster for going out in the gulf. When I was about 19 he had more or less abandoned it in his yard. I begged him for it. I mean I really begged.

      “Hell No! Not on your life. No way in hell. I will burn it first.”

      I couldn’t understand why he was so obstinate about not letting me have it.

      1. My uncle did the same thing with a 1957 Porsche speedster.

        i don’t know what happened to it but i don’t think he sold it for any money; he preferred it rotted in his back yard than let his nephews take it and restore it. we don’t talk about it.

        i suspect its something to do with men and possessiveness about things connected to their previous mid-life crisis.

        1. In my case he confided to my father later that he was certain I would kill myself in that boat. I like to think he was wrong…but I was 19 and I barely survived my youth without that boat so…

        2. I learned to drive in a car with bad brakes. I think that made me a more cautious driver than I would be otherwise.

          I got it for free from my uncle and kept it for 12 years. The book “Drive It Forever” was holy scripture in my family.

        3. My uncle did the same thing with a 1957 Porsche speedster.

          That car would be worth upwards of a quarter of a million dollars today if it was still in any kind of condition. Your uncle was an idiot.

      2. http://www.boattrader.com/list…..-102862098

        Is this it? 30′ Contender with Twin 300 HP Yamahas. A bargain at $236k.

        1. Nah, this boat was a ’72 model. It was a fat, deep hulled bay boat. I could have killed all of my friends at once with that thing. It was huge.

  17. Woman repeatedly drives past house with Trump signs and flips off resident standing nearby. This, time resident gets in car and follows woman. Hilarity ensues:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejjP59fQD8k

    go to the 9:00 mark for max derp

    1. Hey man, responded to you yesterday FWIW.

    2. Guys, she’s single!

      1. Geez, I can’t imagine why.

    3. I tried but I just couldn’t watch all of that. Jesus fuckity fuck she never shuts up. I would rather stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork than listen to one more second of her jabber. I am betting she is single and that this isnt the first row she has gotten into…or the last.

      1. Also, that is not atypical for a Cankles supporter in my experience.

      2. Seriously, when I see it on the news that she got body slammed to the pavement and handcuffed by the fuzz, I’m by default not going to feel sorry for her.

    4. What in holy hell is this lady thinking…. explaining her craziness to a video camera, as though the camera is going to go, “OH TOTALLY YOU GO GIRL”…

      …rather than provide a permanent record of someone’s self-involved, insane bubble-world mentality gone completely wrong?

      I’ve seen instances before where women are telling a story, and as they’re explaining what “happened”….?

      they’ll stop, and then go, “I think I need to explain, like, some context here so you’ll understand what, like this means….”…

      …because as they are re-telling the story, they realize that “what actually happened” – the bare facts of ‘who did what’? – didn’t actually justify their reaction. At all.

      In other words, they started the story intending you and everyone else to go, “OMG that’s so horrible of them!”.. but midway through, they realize that’s not actually the rational reaction at all? and so they need to ‘tell you how you *should* react’, instead of just trying to understand the facts of the matter.

      This has always been a fun moment with girlfriends.

      1. There are a lot of people, but mainly women, who feel they must narrate the entire conversation word-for-word.

        “And I’m like…and she’s like….and I’m like….”

        Just summarize. “She said said my dress was ugly, so I called her a bitch.”
        There, done.

      2. You are cracking me up Gilmore. Been there over and over and over. That is the reason it took me ten years to remarry. That moment comes while just sit there poker faced and watch them and it suddenly hits them…he just turned me off. I guess my face would go slack or something when it hit me – “Another crazy one. This isnt going anywhere. I hope I still have my little black book somewhere.”

      3. a friend of mine once said, after his 5th marriage, “They are all crazy. You just have to decide what kind and how much of it you can put up with.”

  18. Damn. Another death. Mylan Hicks who plays in the CFL with the Calgary Stampeders was shot and killed in Calgary.

    http://www.tsn.ca/stampeders-c…..s-1.573362

    1. Fucking American gun culture killed him.

  19. Sure, they *say* it was a boating accident, but how do we know it wasn’t really a killer shark and they’re covering it up to keep the beaches open?

    Man, that would make a great movie. I’d call it: The Big Scary Shark That Ate A Lot of People.

    1. Too wordy. How about ‘Fins’. See, its a play on words or ‘pun’.

  20. Tonight on Facepalm Theatre, man in transparent plastic box in water with several great white sharks has trouble keeping the door shut:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klMuQfylYP0

    1. Holy shit. I never want to be on a speed boat.

      1. They are a lot more dangerous than you would think they are.

        1. That crash actually looks very survivable compared to an airliner crash.

        2. Actually they are not more dangerous than I think they are.

  21. Proof of the Loch Ness Monster:
    http://www.express.co.uk/news/…..-new-photo

    Looks like an oarfish

    1. GD skeptic!!!

      1. Jesus. How many bodies did they find inside when they cut it open?

    2. Oarfish don’t live near the surface. If they do, they die.

      1. So they never surface?

      2. How do they end up on the beach then?

  22. Has reason mentioned a word about the pipeline protests? Other than some chatter on FB, it’s remained curiously below the mainstream radar, at least from my POV.

    1. I think they had a mention of Jill Stein being arrested (too lazy to actually look for it) in one of their AM/PM Links posts.

    2. Reason mentioned Jill Stein’s arrest warrant for vandalizing some pipeline equipment.

  23. Tens of thousands march against same-sex marriage, but they’re Mexicans, so I’m not holding my breath for them to be branded as bigots.

    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2…..exico.html

    Elsewhere in Mexico, 5,000 refugees showed up and are heading to the US:
    http://latino.foxnews.com/lati…..way-to-us/

    1. Tens of thousands march against same-sex marriage, but they’re Mexicans, so I’m not holding my breath for them to be branded as bigots

      Trump made them do it.

      1. Anyone who thinks the gays are not next in line to be asked to leave the Prog hive is kidding themselves.

        1. They’ll probably get dumped in favor of Shariah law supporters.

          1. Being openly homosexual is a microagression against religious Muslims. Open homosexuality is racist. That is what it will be. You watch.

            1. Plus, openly homsexuals have become openly successful. So, like Asians, the progs have a hard time pushing the victimization narrative on them.

              1. They’re still a reliable voting bloc, though.

              2. The Dems are also starting to lose the Asian vote. I don’t know if they realize it or not, but it’s not a minor part of the reason why we have a GOP gov in deep blue MD. Intelligent people are going to eventually realize that Democrats are hostile to small business and want to raise taxes even more on the middle class.

                1. I’ll believe that when I see it, Hyperion. They certainly haven’t been losing them in recent presidential elections. Immediate google response returns “a national poll cited by The Wall Street Journal finding a 12-point increase among Asian Americans identifying as Democrats from 2012.” which means the Democrats have been gaining in Asian market share since at least the 90s, and I believe the 80s, when they were a pretty irrelevant electoral force anyway.

    2. The institute said that none of these Haitian, African or Asian migrants have requested permission to stay in Mexico.

      But the anti-gay marriage marches should make them feel right at home.

      The migrants cannot be sent back to their home countries

      Wut?

    3. And then there is this wise Latino woman.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..nsive.html

      1. the show’s first full-blooded Latina cast member

        LOL, like Latinx is a pure-breed.

        1. What’s a full blooded Latina? Does that mean that everyone in her family since the dawn of civilization has spoken a romance language and has never intermarried with the heathens?

          1. It means she isn’t a dirty “white Hispanic” like that Zimmerman character.

            1. She sure looks white to me. Let’s put it this way, she’s whiter than me and my ancestry is Welsh/English/German.

          2. What’s a full blooded Latina?

            It’s the Left’s idiotic obsession with race on full display yet again.

            1. And they didn’t even have the decency to read the fucking chart.

              I mean, come on leftists, there’s really like ten different kind of Latinos if you really want to play racial Pokemon.

              1. That doesn’t include their Hola forms.

            2. Seriously, the term ‘full blooded’ is in general used to refer to dog breeds. Do these people have any idea how ignorant they sound?

              1. Commonly used to refer to American Indians

          3. Its someone’s complete and utter misunderstanding of how race and ethnicity in Mexico (and pretty much all of Latin-America) works. There is no ‘Latinx’ race, there are dozens of different ethnicities south of the border and there’s been considerable interbreeding with Europeans – both Hispanic and other – to the point that pale white red-headed Mexicans exist. Or, and the blonde ones aren’t always a dye job either.

            Though I imagine that its someone thinking that simply having two Mexican parents qualifies instead of one of them marrying white, black, or asian.

            *However*. isn’t this extremely racist? Isn’t this basically describing mixed-ethnicities as ‘mongrels’ or miscegenation or at least saying that mixed ancestry is worse than being ‘pure’?

            1. Go to the south of Brazil and try to differentiate a native Brazilian from a native European or American without speaking to them. If you are a blue eyed blonde, no one will know you are not Brazilian until you start to talk and are not fluent in Portuguese with a perfect Brazilian accent. This frustrated the hell out of me the first time I went there and was trying to find someone in the airport who would speak English, since my Portuguese was not very good at all back then.

        2. Indeed. Like any group outside Khosian herdsmen are of “pure blood.”

          1. 90% of the time ‘pure blood’ is really just ‘inbred’.

            1. So, by being pure blood, you’re gonna wind all jug eared and fugly like a member of England’s royal family?

        3. You’ve got to get the Spaniard/Aztec/Zapotec mix just right

          They just don’t make Latinos like they used to, needs that proper mestizo kick.

          1. Someone posted a list of something like 7 “castes” they used to have, with various admixtures. All of which are now Latinx, I guess.

          2. Read Gary Jennings well researched historical fiction series, Aztec for some useful background into this.

            The residents of Tenochtitlan, which modern day Mexico City is built on top of, referred to themselves as Mexicans, or Mexihcah in their native language, Nahuatl. Azteca is a word meaning residents of the city Azatlan, a mythical place. The Spanish referred to the Mexicans as Aztec, which is inaccurate.

            I think that is accurate, maybe HM can weigh in on this, my expertise on the topic is a little rusty.

            1. Just about no group is called what they called themselves. See: Hellas/Graecia, Zhongguo/China, Bharata/India, etc.

              1. This is what happens when you let whitey go around the world naming shit. HM, partially to blame, (:

  24. The motto for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers should be: We Will Find a Way to Lose!

    1. But a great day to be an Eagles fan.

      1. And for every other non Pittsburgh fan in the NFL. The giant mouth that inhabits Western PA has been silenced. And how stupid do the Rams feel right now for not taking Wenz? Is there a dumber coach in the NFL than Jeff Fisher?

        1. The Browns too. But I believe Goff was the owner’s choice. SoCal boy to start the new day in LA. Of course, that doesn’t change the answer to the Fisher question.

          1. How does he still have a job? He must have pictures of the Rams’ owner having an orgy with a sheep or something.

            1. Every company I have been around has someone in upper management with pictures of the boss.

        2. John-

          I love the hate.

          In my lifetime, Pittsburgh has 2 World Series wins, some amount of Stanley Cups I’m too lazy to look up because Hockey basically sucks (Playoff hockey can be cool sometimes, though)… and we got our “one for the other thumb” in 2006. (Update- and we just lost Arnold Palmer… Damn!)

          Suck on it!

          Who is the inferior team that wears the laundry you root for?

    2. They have a chance. They’re the Bucs so not a great chance but they’re playing the Rams so maybe it evens out.

      1. Nope. They lost. Carolina also lost so the standings don’t change though. If Atlanta loses tomorrow all the NFC South teams will be 1-2.

        The Bucs ran a keeper up the middle with four seconds on the clock and 15 yards from the goal. Bold play calling there…

  25. Give him the Cy Young.

  26. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic…..firms.html

    I think the military is way too uptight about adultery. I don’t care that he was cheating on his wife. But living rent free in a house provided by a defense contractor? Way to go there slick. What a fucking piece of shit.

      1. I bet that loser didn’t have that good of taste in women. Say what you want about General Turgenson, he kept a smoking hot mistress.

        1. Ha…totally smokin’. I love the actresses from mid 50s to mid 60s.

          1. Lingerie and high heels. Women were a lot sexier and better put together back then.

            1. My parents knew to leave me alone at 1am when The Avegers were on.

              1. The Graduate. Katherine Ross, the ultimate coed.

                1. Can’t argue with you. If you ask my brother, Julie Newmar.

                2. You sir have a good memory for an old fuck.

                  Ali McGraw was another hot chica of that era.

                  1. old fuck = John

                  2. Nobody’s mentioned Paula Prentiss yet. She co-starred with the aforementioned Katherine Ross in The Stepford Wives.

                    And since Jim Hutton is in the picture above, he was also with Samantha Eggar in Walk, Don’t Run.

            2. That’s because they were more feminine, in general. To find women who are still like that, leave the USA to begin your search.

              1. Progtard brainwashing is not a global initiative? What countries do you suggest?

                1. Of course it’s a global initiative, it’s just less successful everywhere else.

                  Suggestions? All of them, except for Canada of course.

            3. Not one mention of Jacqueline Bisset or Ursula Andress? Disgusting.

              Also, in before Gilmore*: Jane Birkin.

              *That dude loves anything related to fashion.

              1. Also, every female in Grand Prix.

    1. The UCMJ is a harsh mistress, but the reality is that adulterous generals are perfect blackmail fodder for foreign intelligence agents.

      1. It does seem like it would be fairly easy to trap a swinging general with a honeypot.

    2. Yes and no. It is a holdover from an earlier period but it also is a nice stick to beat people over the head with when they decide that the person they’re going to start an affair with is the spouse of a fellow servicemember.

      Very bad for unit cohesion, that.

      1. But, 99% of the time its ignored. The 1% is usually because its packed in with whatever got them investigating you in the first place.

        Its like USC 1001 for the feds. Even if they can’t make any of the other charges stick, they’ve still got you on this.

  27. Welch was just on MSNBC’s I Know Fuck-All with Chris Hayes talking about Trump and I guess local policing policy. Needless to say everyone but Welch on the panel there is an idiot. Tune in to watch the dipshittery if you dare.

    1. I don’t get why the Left’s latest talking point is calling for “fact-checking” the debate. Do they really wanna go there?

      1. Hillary won’t be lying, obviously.

      2. For some reason, I thought that meme was the Trumpoid worrying the moderators would let Hillary’s multitudinous lies go by, but not Trump’s.

      3. You haven’t noticed? They defend Cankles lies by just stating that none of the things you saw on video are true. None of her documented lies are lies. The documents are wrong or she didn’t say what you think she said. They think if they earnestly assert the opposite of reality then reality will just go away and people will believe them.

        Cankles – “Director Comey confirmed that I was telling the truth about my email.”

        Comey – “No, I didn’t. What I said was – you lied your ass off. Nothing you said was true.”

        Cankles – “See? He confirms that I told the truth.”

        1. Cankles: “I only used a private server because I wanted the convience to use one device.”

          FBI: She used a Blackberry, an IPad, and an IPhone all at the same time. But, it’s OK.

          Huma: “Can you believe this retarded lackwit can’t figure out how to do email on a computer?”

          Cankles: “I turned over all my emails”.

          FBI: Correct, except for the *cough*33000*cough* you didn’t give us. But, I like my job, so it’s cool…

          Cankles: “I only deleted the personal ones about Diane Reynolds’ Chelsea’s wedding and yoga.”

          Judicial Watch: Except for these thousands we managed to recover that discuss national security and appointing Foundation donors to Ambassador positions because of their donations.

          Cankles: “I thought the (c) in all these emails was a ‘bullet point’ in a list”.

          FBI: You signed this document in 2009 indicating you were trained in handling classified info.

          Cankles: “I fell down in 2012- and I just don’t know anything nowadays. And, I didn’t pay attention”

          FBI: I can live with that, because I like my job.

          Obumbles: “I didn’t learn about Hillary’s private server until seeing it on the news in 2015”

          Huma: “Why aren’t these emails we got from Obama’s fake name on our private server in 2012 classified?”

          FBI: Lol-whut? I already said I like my fucking job. You’re all good!

          Cankles: “I was thoroughly investigated by the FBI, and was proven innocent on all charges,”

    2. “I Know Fuck-All”

      That’s really a thing? I spend about one hour a month watching TV.

    3. Better than being on Dateline: Meet My Fellow Child Molester with Chris Hansen.

    4. Any of you watching that will maybe note two things: A) Welch was the only one there not voting for Hillary and 2. MTV News was represented on the panel.

      1. Are you dropping a deuce on Kurt Loder’s legacy? Let me warn you off before you take a shot at Tabitha Soren (who inspired me to ruin several socks), or that guy with the teeth gap.

        1. Don’t forget about Kennedy.

          1. Ugh. She was a vj, not a member of the news bureau.

          2. You can’t forget her, because she won’t shut up about it.

            1. And if you do, she’ll find you and interrupt you to remind you.

  28. Is there anyone here who has a strong enough stomach to watch the debate? I can’t do it, under any circumstances.

    1. I dunno… it could be an epic trainwreck.

      1. I think Trump has the clear edge here. He debated and pretty much bitch slapped 17 GOP candidates, several of them who were no strangers to the debate stage. Hillary, OTH, debated one Bernie Sanders and almost no one has seen it due to the DNC hiding it from the public as best they could do by scheduling it at times they were reasonably sure no one would be watching. Also, when is that last time that anyone has seen Hillary talk for 90 minutes straight without some sort of problem? *cough* *cough*

        Sure the media are 100% going to try to cover for Hillary. But I doubt very much that it will work. Hillary needs a miracle here.

    2. I’m gonna wait for youtube to tell me who got REKT! DESTROYED! and PWND!

      1. Youtube, har har, lol, Facebook is your serious source for post debate coverage!

    3. C’mon Hyperion. Haven’t you ever been to the circus? This will be that x 1000. Pop some popcorn and crack open a beer man.

      1. I’ll come here if Reason is streaming comments, but there’s no way I’m listening and looking at those two bafoons, especially Hillary’s cackling screeching.

    4. I am with my 13 y.o. son so he can see what a joke both candidates are and what a farce these “debates” are… assuming it is available livestream on the intertoobs. He likes to debate at school, and usually can spot BS when he hears/sees it. Hope I can keep from spewing my drink when he asks, “what!s wrong with the evil lady turning red?”

      1. “She’s just having a stroke, Sport.”

        1. Pneumonia.

          1. Just a little chest cold that spread to the frontal lobes.

  29. My daughter brought home a video game called Dark Age Inquisition but in the dim light of the TV area I read the title as Dance Dance Inquisition.

    I don’t know what the goal of that game would be but I’m sure it would be fun to play.

    1. Dragon Age Inquisition is a good game. High end PC required for best enjoyment.

  30. Maybe he should have stayed in Cuba.bmoney makes people do stupid things.

    1. You are even more of a shit than I had previously realized.

      Go burn your money and wander about in the wilderness, trapping and growing your food. Should we extend the use of money to barter as well? Is voluntary trade with others stupid too?

      Why do you even come to this site?

      1. Why do you even come to this site?

        Allow Saruman to explain

    2. Better to be a slave than die free, eh comrade?

    3. You are an utterly repugnant human being.

  31. what Mark said I’m in shock that you able to make in a weeks on the computer
    see more at———–>>> http://tinyurl.com/Usatoday01

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