Election 2016

#Never Trump Celebrities Say Vote for Hillary Clinton and Mark Ruffalo Will Show You His D*ck

From Robert Downey Jr. to Martin Sheen to Julianne Moore to Scarlett Johansson, a "shit-ton" of movie stars tell you the proper way to vote.

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I like celebrities who get involved in politics at any level.

Hell, Reason TV was started by legendary standup comic, sitcom auteur, and Price Is Right host Drew Carey, who is an unapologetic and very public libertarian. I defended not only Colin Kaepernick's First Amendment right to do whatever he wants during the playing of the National Anthem (hey, rights don't even need defending—they're rights that can't be taken away!) but the broader idea of celebrity engagement with serious issues. More power to 'em, says I. The fact that they are getting over in life like an old studio boss on the casting couch is no reason to say that movie stars, athletes, rock gods, and the like shouldn't be allowed to criticize or participate in the system that has them rolling in dough and admiration.

And yet, I dare anyone who is not a full-on groupie or paid hanger-on of any of the folks who appear in this star-studded anti-Trump ad to not be offended by the noxious cloud of smug emanating from your internet-look-up device. "We cannot pretend both sides are equally unfavorable," rumbles TV president Martin Sheen in a voice plummier than a goddamn case of slivovitz. And there's the big problem right there, even bigger than the insistence that a bunch of well-known, meh-known, and little-known actors know more about your needs than you do: Who's we, Kemo Sheen-be? And what if we think about politics not a two-sided affair, but is something that exists in three-dimensional space, or on a goddamn Cosmic Cube (that terrible plot device in the Avengers franchise), or maybe even a dodecahedron die replete with 12 (count 'em!) sides? Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, even quitter-insurgent Bernie Sanders be damned, ooze the celebs in director Joss Whedon's spot. Come on, already, there are two and only two sides to every election. And besides, if Hillary wins, Mark Ruffalo (a great actor but under-developed policy wonk) will show you his dick. Really, because even when celebrities are trying to be serious, they can't quite not go for a cheap joke.

Full Monty references aside, this ad evinces precisely the kind of stuffing-vs-potatoes, "binary choice" thinking that's got us to the point as a country where the major-parties, despite all their massive advantages in money, power, and influence have coughed up a couple of historically hated hairballs like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. But really, say the celebs, don't even think about stepping away from this Sophie's Choice, even though a plurality of Americans now define themselves as independent and historic lows are calling themselves Democrats and Republicans.

You want an alternative way of celebrities engaging mere mortals? Here's an ad featuring Drew Carey, talking about why he's backing former Gov. Gary Johnson in this election. The most interesting thing about his pitch? It's a clear statement of his preference and includes some potentially persuasive arguments with no implication that a viewer is a total fucking idiot and moral cretin if you don't already agree with the speaker. On top of that, there's no mugging for the camera and self-parodic elements that undercut the commitment, as there in the Joss Whedon spot.

And while we're talking about celebrities and presidential endorsements, it's worth remembering what happened the last time a "shit ton" of celebs came out in favor of a particular candidate. In 2009, a whole host of well-known actors "pledged to serve" Barack Obama like he was god-emperor of Dune. Reason's Anthony Fisher and I caught up with them in 2012 to see how that was working out for them.

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  1. I’m sure I’ll be disappointed, just like Now You See It.

    1. “It’s just like a real one, only smaller.”

        1. Possibly, though not deliberately; I’ve never seen that movie. The quote marks were gratuitious.

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    2. Is it Hulk dick or Bruce Banner dick?

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  2. Looks like they’re working hard to get Trump elected.

    1. I think people are sick of it too.

  3. Celebrities should entertain and make me a sammich. Then they can go do their little drugs and have excessive porn sex and get diseases but so long as they come back and…entertain and make me a sammich. Only this time the sammich has to have taragon mustard.

    1. So you dumbasses add letters to color and take them away from tarragon?

      Canada is a weird fucking place, man.

      1. Yeh forgot a letterrrrrrrrr. Su me.

      1. And since Sloopy’s here: artisanal mayonnaise.

      2. We know your position on Mayo, Zeb.

        We. Know.

    2. ^This, but I don’t want the sammich. While it is possible for actors to have interests and skills outside of acting, people who feel and emote for a living are not my go-to for public policy advice.

      1. I got bad news for you re: pretty much all politicians, then…

      2. On the recent CBB podcast, Tatiana Maslavy and another actor from Orphan Black plus Auckerman all agreed that actors have the ability to cry on demand because they are psychotic.

      3. Feel and emote according to script.

    3. Meh, I don’t begrudge them spending their money or time standing up for what they believe in.

      Even if they are retarded sheep bleating in fear of…the other guy that’s largely the same as their guy/gal/corpse.

      1. This “fear” of Trump would have a lot more credibility had they not held the same fear of McCain and Romney.

        1. … and Bush, and Dole, and Bush, and Reagan, and Ford, and Nixon, and Goldwater, … and, … and… and.

        2. But, he likes to fire people/things! And he would have nukes! Why aren’t you shitting your pants, you fucking peon?

          1. Also they say it like there are fuckers working at the VA who don’t wholeheartedly deserve to be fired.

  4. “””Mark Ruffalo (a great actor but under-developed policy wonk) will show you his dick.”””

    I thought that was Anthony Weiner’s job. He’s been practicing.

    1. Apparently, with a 15 year old girl. Huma had to divorce him lest he pick the least opportune time to reminisce that Bill Clinton introduced him to the young ones.

      1. Well his political career was dead. I guess he hoped Subway was looking for a new spokesman.

        1. Wouldn’t Nathan’s be a better ‘fit?’

    2. To show anyone his dick he must first pull it out of Matt Damon’s ass.

    3. He is a local celebrity who does all he can to defeat fracking, so the county he lives in can stay pristine and utterly depressed.

      Frack you, Ruffalo, that’s what I say.

      1. Why is he holding a jug of urine? Long drive?

        1. ::shakes fist::

      2. Why’s he carrying a jug of piss? Did he drive an 18 wheeler all the way there with Ray?

        1. And where did Ray get all those jugs from? I thought milk came in bags in Canada.

          1. Obviously he drove mostly in the USA. I can’t imagine being a trucker in just Canada. Especially on that single highway they have.

          2. Also I’m sure they probably sell OJ and some other juice in jugs like that. Otherwise they’d have one hell of a bag shortage.

      3. He is originally from my neck of the woods, and went to high school with some of my friends. You can keep him, though.

  5. I love those videos where celebrities each say part of a sentence while standing in front of a blank background. it really reaffirms how that they are just vacuous human puppets who read things other people write and try to look sincere while doing it.

    1. “Eskimo”

      1. On the surface, these celebs are the vivacious young ladies and men we all knew them to be, but their souls were in Antartica!

          1. I instantly knew the reference, but still remain foggy as to why

            1. Because Heathers is still the ultimate dark sendup of the high-school fitting in movie? Jesus, Gilmore, did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast this morning?

              1. Is there a scene where they all talk in front of a white screen? it was just that i do not grok the linkage.

                I feel like a failure of a human being. I love that movie and am going to watch it later now.

                1. No, just the random words circled in the dream suicide of the third Heather.

      2. Sorry if I went the wrong way with Eskimo there.

      3. Mark Ruffalo would have never used “myriad”!

    2. Is it just me or does that video come off as some kind of over the top parody of things like “vote or die”. It just seems too over the top to be believable.

      1. Seems that way, but given the history of those involved the smart money’s on this being somehow serious.

        1. It probably is completely sincere, which just makes it that much funnier. These fuckwits have no idea that they’ve descended into self parody.

  6. JFC that first ad was disturbing. Inadequate trigger warning, Nick.
    Although I don’t think they ever actually said to vote for her.
    I’m not going to watch it again to double-check, but maybe that was a pro Johnson ad?

  7. I bet it doesn’t even dawn on these numbskullz that this may have exactly the opposite effect of what they want it to.

    1. Surely you’re not suggesting that there’s people out there who won’t just mindlessly vote the way some celebu-tards tells them to? /sarc

      1. I’m suggesting they go back to what they’re good at (some of the time) and pretend to be things they’re not on camera, and STFU.

    2. Not just them, Hyper, but every smug prog who smugly and shrilly lectures others.

      1. And ironically, these are the same people who get irrationally distraught if anyone even utters an opinion they don’t agree with. Yet have the lack of self awareness to understand that most people really do not like morally superior complex driven condescending lectures.

      2. Yes, it might be time to say “fuck it, lets see what this lever does”.

    3. Meh, who’s gonna watch this except for the converted?

      If his PAC does run this on TV, then yeah, this’ll backfire.

  8. “””I defended not only Colin Kaepernick’s First Amendment right to do whatever he wants during the playing of the National Anthem “””

    And other people have the First Amendment right to criticize him

    As far as I have heard nobody has tried to stop him, though his football team owners could if they wanted.

  9. In the immortal words of Chief Grady:

    Desperation is a stinky cologne.

    1. “What’s the significance of this John Chimpo fella?”

      1. I’d vote for Johnny Chimpo if he was on the ballot.

      2. Its great! Its Afghanistanamation!

        1. The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?

      3. Where’d ya learn that, Cheech? Drug schoooool?

  10. I love it when Nick gets pissed off, stops letting the jacket control his mind, and posts something on his own.

    1. Yeah, this is one of his better ones.

      When the progtards try direct control, it should really get under libertarians’ skin.

  11. if Hillary wins, Mark Ruffalo (a great actor but under-developed policy wonk) will show you his dick

    I guess they’re trying to shore up the ci-hetero female and the gay male vote?

    Fuck all of these dipshits. In Scarlett Johanson’s case, literally.

    1. was that who it was? I could name maybe 2 of the people in that skit. I watch movies for entertainment. I don’t give a shit about the name of the person who entertained me … they have no staying power in my consciousness

    2. While I can’t speak for all gay males, obviously, Ruffalo is pretty “meh” by my tastes.

      1. I found his character deplorable in The Normal Heart. Why did I get the impression that the actor played himself? I’m uninterested in seeing his dick.

        1. Damn, now I have to vote for Trump to avoid seeing that…..

          I think he overestimates how many people want to see his junk….

  12. Many people shouldn’t be allowed to vote. There, I said it.

    1. No one should. It’s an act of aggression.

      1. only landowners should be allowed to vote, as originally specified in the Constitution.
        Mess with that document, and this is what you get.

        1. I’ll go with that.

  13. I find that actors (as a subset of celebrities) tend to have the most boring and shallow opinions on politics. They simply follow the trends. Actors aren’t trailblazers that bring new and interesting arguments to the table. They’re individuals that market themselves as blank-slates for a living. They’re job is to mold themselves into different types of people in order to tell a story, so most of them end up just reflecting the ideas of their peers.

    1. *their

    2. Then they should just do make-believe like the children they are and leave voting to the adults….

  14. I don’t know who Mark Ruffalo is and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see his dick.

    Scarlett Johansson could possibly be more convincing.

    1. I’d love to see Scarlett Johansson’s dick.

          1. Ah, but are you loving?

        1. You really do live up to your reputation, crusty. I feel like I can post a request for any nude celeb pictures on any one of these comment sections and you will always be there to guide me.

  15. Wouldn’t that ad run afoul of what these people wanted the result of Citizens United to be? Just curious.

    1. No, because reasons. And besides, Mark Ruffalo’s dick! Why do hate straight womyn and gay men? /sarc

      1. Their intentions are pure, unlike kochthuglikkans.

    2. Every time I bring that up, I’m told that it wouldn’t apply because reasons. Those reasons are always bullshit.

      1. I’ve mostly heard that they have to because mean Republicans make them do it.

        Acting on principle is not an option because Trump is literally Hitler and we are on the brink of chaos and destruction. Just like every other election. We’ve just been lucky so far.

    3. Because this wasn’t a corporation, it was just a group of people!

      Who formed a voluntary association for the purpose of shared interests.

      And…collectively spent money on spreading a political message attacking a presidential candidate…

      …shit.

    4. Yes. It should, but bring this up and they will make up all kinds of excuses, or use their favorite M.O–preemptively label you a bigot.

  16. So my wife was telling me yesterday that she read on some tabloid sheet that the rumor is that there is going to be some tell all about to come out that names names about the Hollywood kiddy sex right. The rumor is that the ring leader is an A list actor, which by process of elimination is thought to be either Donald Southerland or Martin Sean (they being the two A list actors who had children acting around the time this started).

    Who knows if it is true, but it could be very interesting.

    1. Someone linked to something about that the other day.

      I hope it’s Martin Sheen.

      1. I always kind of hoped it was Tom Hanks just out of some dark sense of humor. I hope it isn’t Donald Southerland. I really like him.

        1. That’s funny. I was tempted to say “I bet it’s Tom Hanks” just for laughs.

      2. It would be ironic if the “Perfect President” was actually a pedophile.

        Wait, am I talking about real life or fiction…..

      1. The closeted perv has never come out as gay ? and even has children of his own.

        But in truth, the star behind the family-man facade is an evil monster who has led an extraordinarily twisted double-life.

        Haim’s childhood friend, Feldman, has previously detailed how the impressionable pair were BOTH raped ? Haim, first, at the age of 11 by a “Hollywood producer.”

        The identity of the A-List individual at the center of Haim’s second nightmarish abuse occurred when he was in his mid-teens.

        I suppose it wouldn’t be too hard to compile a list of producers/ actors Corey Haim worked with around the time of the rapes and who also had kids of their own and have a reputation as family men. Would Sutherland and/or Sheen be on the list, I wonder?

        1. Haim’s first real starring role in a movie was in Lucas, which also featured Charlie Sheen…

          1. And Lucas came out in 1986, which means it was probably filmed in 1985. Haim was born in 1971 and so would have been ~14 at the time of filming. So the timeline would be correct for the second rapist to be Martin Sheen. Not sure who the “Hollywood producer” at age 11 would be.

            1. Last bit of “research” into this: I suppose the “Hollywood produce” could be Richard Donner. He produced/ directed The Lost Boys as well The Goonies which would have put him in contact with both Feldman and Haim, so maybe. And I would think he’d be rich and powerful enough to keep everyone shut up about it, but hasn’t done much lately and has to be close to kicking the bucket soon anyway, so maybe people aren’t as afraid of him anymore.

              1. Another reason not to attend Donner Parties.

      2. This is impossible = Cory Haim was never in a film with any A-list actors.

        *Kidding, Lost Boys had Jason Patric.

        1. In all seriousness from what was said earlier, The Lost Boys had Kiefer Sutherland in it, which meant his dad may have been around a bit. And Lucas had Charlie Sheen, probably putting Martin close by.

          Plus they tried to run with the brat pack, making them likely to be around those two families some. I don’t know, I guess I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out to be one of those two.

          1. The Lost Boys had Kiefer Sutherland in it… And Lucas had Charlie Sheen

            …AS I SAID…

            I’m sort of hoping it was Arnold Schwarzenegger

    2. It would have hit by now if it was true. Too many actresses careers have hit the skid since reality tv took off for at least one of them not to come out and spill the beans to get back in the spotlight.

      I know that sounds cynical but there you go.

      1. I dunno, that Cosby thing was on low simmer for a while before it bubbled over.

    3. I saw something related to that. Supposedly they’re soon going to out the person who allegedy raped Corey Haim (or was it Feldman?) and is largely believed to be reason for him being such a headcase later in life. Or something. I don’t know, and frankly don’t really care.

      Well, I care in the respect that it’s horrible that this scumbag – whoever it ends up being – has apparently been diddling kid stars in Hollywood for decades, but I guess a better way to put it is:

      Some scumbag Hollywood type has been using his fame and money and connections to diddle children? Gee, where’s my shocked face? A lot of Hollywood types are unrepentant scumbags and horrible excuses for human beings.

      1. BUT GEORGE CLOOOOONEY SAID HOLLYWOOD TRAIL BLAZES!

        1. Trailblazing definitions from urban dictionary:

          #5 The act of farting and walking away, leaving the stink for others to enjoy. Sometimes the smell can cling to your clothes and be pulled around for several seconds or even minutes.

          #6 this means to do sexual things with a girl/boy who hasnt done anything yet. not neccesarily sex, but like fingering her for the first time, or giving him a handjob.

          #7 When someone fists you in the ass rapidly.

          #6 seems most apropos, but all of them fit.

        2. Please God let the A list Actor be Clooney. Wouldn’t that be delicious?

          1. I sure hope not. I want to see Clooney colllaaborate with th Coen brothers several more times. He’s fucking fantastic in their films.

            I don’t care for his politics but his ability to act for them is undeniable.

          2. Clooney’s not old enough. At the time in question he was still appearing in things like Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

    4. I’m guessing it has to do with Corey Haim’s claims that both he and Corey Feldman were molested, and the rumors that Elijah Wood was too. Which puts whatever happened or didn’t happen in the early to mid 1980s. Extrapolate out from there.

      1. Corey Haim is Canadian. Alan Thicke (A list at the time) is also Canadian.

        Coincidence?

        1. And SJWs accused Alan Thicke’s son Robin of promoting rape culture in his ubiquitous hit “Blurred Lines.” Where’d he learn it from? Ergo, it is definitely Alan Thicke.

  17. And besides, if Hillary wins, Mark Ruffalo (a great actor but under-developed policy wonk) will show you his dick

    I doubt it’s very impressive. I mean, the Hulk’s rage must stem from something about him that’s inadequate, am I right?

    1. I doubt it’s very impressive

      You’re not allowed an opinion on this, at all.

    2. I mean, the Hulk’s rage must stem from something about him that’s inadequate, am I right?

      If a part of a man were going to suddenly grow to such monstrous proportions that it destroyed an article of his own clothing, I think we all know which part and which article of clothing it would be. So it should be no mystery how or why the Hulk’s pants remain in tact.

  18. Hey, that was pretty funny!

    Seriously, there are so many lefty comedians that by the law of averages, something they’re going to come up with something funny.

    Still not going to vote for Hillary, though. Nice try.

  19. No no no… He’s gonna show you he’s a dick!

  20. Oh, and…

    Dicks Out for Hillary!

      1. Sorry isn’t enough. As punishment, you’re being sent to STEVE SMITH’S forest for 24 hours. If you survive, you can go free.

        1. I thought that if you survived you got sent back for another 24 hours.

          1. It doesn’t matter. Nobody has ever lasted 24 hours.

            1. WRONG — STEVE SMITH CAN LAST FOR DAYS!

  21. Nobody wants to see Ruffalo’s dick. Not chicks, not gay dudes.

    Johansson though – show me some skin and I’ll vote for Hillary.

    Not really.

  22. To paraphrase another commenter: This stage of the election is like the part of a Monty Python sketch where the guy interrupts and says “stop – this is getting too silly.”

    1. and right on queue, Agile Cyborg appears

      1. Cue. Agile’s comment isn’t waiting in line.

        1. but it was next in line in the thread. hooked on phonics owes me a refund

  23. The inbred scriveners (Reason scribblems aside) font-painting this nation-wrecking cabal called the election can all fuck themselves into jaded collapse along with this goddamn geographical failoscopy of a fucking freedom illusion. The wrangling scuttle brutes lining the opposing ideo-wings are infested with magic engines running on the endless fuel of decrepit obeisance slobbered from the wilted shrewish pages of gurus dripping with malodorous intention and smack thick with nebulous delusions swathed in hatred toward opposite and alternative.

    America hashed and tagged right into the fucking noxious fumes of yesteryear lost in a confusion of recycled philosophies.

    Elect your country right into the goddamn ground, you fucking kneeling shit twiddlers (all Reason commenters, scribes, and fucking associated intelligence aside- not picking the battle with sun nomads, seers, humanoids, poets, and Libertarian queens because the long wave skitters eloquently when the last shade swings low into the ripple).

  24. Simple question – how many times do these people think they can palm off the same spiel. Pretty much all of the exact same assholes told us in 2008 and 2012 that “This is the most important election ever and you just got to vote for Barack Obama, even if you don’t agree with him because the other guy is just so evil!”.

    What? This time it’s different? This time you really mean it?

    I never gave a damn what they had to say. But this time, let’s just acknowledge they’re full of shit.

    1. The planet keeps warming, so each successive election is arguably the most important. Plus this one has Trump.

      1. Tony, you should definitely move to Canada now, before Trump wins. That way, you’ve escaped the coming fascism, the heat, and you could volunteer to save some polar bears from drowning, all in the same move! What’s not to like?

        1. Dude, Tony doesn’t want to ever actually DO anything.

          1. I vote. And I don’t treat it as a masturbatory monument to my self-expression like Gary Johnson and Jill Stein voting dumbfucks.

            1. And I don’t treat it as a masturbatory monument to my self-expression

              Your actions seem to contradict your thesis.

            2. You wanna do something useful? Something that would make the country just a little bit freer? And on the plus side for you this action would add one more number to the gun deaths stats you love. So it would be a win win. Go for it.

            3. Yeah, you’ll wait to do that until Hillary wins and you’re watching Mr. Ruffalo’s promised show….

      2. I was reliably informed that Obama’s election would cause the oceans to stop rising, so problem solved — twice.

        1. Paris climate agreement… this was indeed the moment.

          1. You mean the one that didn’t do anything except generate a lot of CO2 and people patting themselves on the back about how awesome they are? Of course you do. You want other people to change, not you, you are perfect.

          2. Which bound nobody to anything. China is leading the world in CO2 emissions, by 2 to 1 over the second place country, the US. And China’s emissions are rising. Why don’t we start there? I’m sure China will happily change their ways. And India. And all the other growing economies who are using fossil fuels to drive their growth. Because self righteous environmentalists in the US and EU should just be handed over control and given the power to stop all the smaller growing economies worldwide. How incredibly racist and xenophobic.

            1. Progressivism has always been racist. They just learned to hid it from their idiot followers over the last 100 years….

    2. They come close to acknowledging it in the ad. They must have gotten some backlash from the earlier ads where they were so pompous and hectoring.

      “This time, let’s kind of acknowledge how ridiculous this whole exercise is, but really, we’re concerned citizens just like you and please vote Hillary!”

    3. What? This time it’s different? This time you really mean it?

      Hey, it works for recycled movie plots

    4. “Simple question – how many times do these people think they can palm off the same spiel. Pretty much all of the exact same assholes told us in 2008 and 2012 that “This is the most important election ever and you just got to vote for Barack Obama, even if you don’t agree with him because the other guy is just so evil!”.”

      Did anyone ever go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public?

  25. False equivalence is the province of the dumbest of political pundits.

    You don’t like Hillary Clinton’s policy platform. Maybe you don’t even like her personality. She’s not the other side of the same coin as Donald Trump.

    1. I never said she is. But she’s a corrup egotist who’d sell out anything to make a buck for herself. I don’t give a shit if she’s marginally better than Trump, she’s still not worth casting my vote for her.

      1. One of them is going to be president. You can join the Bernie Busters at the cool hipster bar on the margins of American politics and whine about how much you hate everything to each other. Be my guest. Buy you are the very people to whom a “marginal” perceived difference is the difference that has to make your decision. The rest of us are not so burdened, but surely you realize “the rest of us” is what makes a potential electoral majority.

        1. You can join the Bernie Busters at the cool hipster bar on the margins of American politics and whine about how much you hate everything to each other.

          Can and will. It’s gratifying to have your permission.

        2. One of them is going to be president.

          Only nominally, at this point. Clinton’s only saving grace might be that she will be a vegetable before the end of her first term. And Trump will probably take up Bush and Obama’s golfing habit.

          1. So I guess it’s Kaine or the Jesus guy.

    2. You’re right, Tony. She’s more like the opposite edge of the same side of the coin.

      Also, the coin is a Chuck E. Cheese token.

    3. Hillary is the Joker – you know she’s evil.

      Donald is Two-Face – he decides by a flip of a coin on each occasion whether he’ll be evil or not.

      So it’s a sure thing versus…who knows?

      1. The stupidest pro-Trump argument going, but in your defense there aren’t a lot of them.

    4. Some people don’t even like the fact that she’s a sociopath war monger, pathological liar, and criminal. I bet you are shocked by this revelation, aren’t you, Tony?

      1. But Trump is all those things multiplied by stupid.

        1. Yeah because Hillary, a woman who has fucked up every single job she has ever had in an epic and tragically damaging way, is just so smart.

          1. I have a feeling you’d be a fairly intelligent person if you could only manage to get your head unstuck from the rightwing propaganda toilet.

            1. Are you really supporting Clinton the racist war monger?

    5. Honest question, if you helped Clinton get elected, but held information on some of her secrets do you not think she wouldn’t line you up on the fucking wall and put a bullet in your head?

      You are what is called a useful idiot. Just like these celebrities. Useful idiots get people elected or in power and then useful idiots are the first fucking people to go bye bye.

      1. I think it’s a modern tragedy that a cursory understanding of American politics makes one believe Hillary Clinton to be a scheming Bond villain, while it takes deep study to realize that she’s just a normal Democrat who’s never even murdered anyone.

        1. a cursory understanding of American politics makes one believe Hillary Clinton to be a scheming Bond villain, while it takes deep study to realize that she’s just a normal Democrat

          You have a surprisingly low opinion of Democrats, huh.

        2. ” a normal Democrat”

          You know, you actually served a useful function for once. You’ve succinctly encapsulated why I despise the Democratic party and would sooner eat razor blades than ever vote for one.

          1. If you plan to be a terrorist suspect during the Trump administration, you might get your wish.

        3. Vince Foster disagrees.

    6. She’s not the other side of the same coin as Donald Trump.

      You’re right.

      Donald Trump didn’t sign off on the sale of a quarter of the U.S uranium supply by a donor to Russia while giving a six figure speech in Moscow to an i-bank connected with the Kremlin.

      Donald Trump was never caught on tape laughing about destroying a little girl to get off the guy who raped her.

      Donald Trump never systematically bypassed U.S. security laws.

      Donald Trump at least occasionally sees a war he doesn’t want the U.S. involved in.

      1. Debunked.
        And you call yourself a libertarian?
        No he just swindled people on an unimaginable scale for his entire career.
        But for the ones he does want to start, he wants to use nukes and aim them at civilians!

        1. My source was the New York Times.

          http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04……html?_r=0

          1. Fine, you can have that one. Multiply it by 1,000 and it might resemble the scale of Trump’s corruption.

            1. … that doesn’t even make sense

              1. Trump’s a really really corrupt business guy. And he hangs out with really corrupt politicians who are also very fat.

                1. … that puts him 1:1 with Clinton not 1000:1.

                2. Like Hillary.

          2. When beset by hate-facts, Tony substitutes his wishful thinking.

        2. And you call yourself a libertarian?

          Yes, I am a libertarian. There’s nothing in libertarianism that says you should take pride in destroying the innocent. Quite the opposite.

          1. Surely you believe in defense lawyers zealously defending their clients.

            1. We all know Hillary is a paid piper, the question is who will be doing the paying while she’s President?

              Presuming she’s still lucid, of course.

              1. I would think reason of all places would not be the place where people bitch about Hillary making money on a supply-and-demand basis as a private citizen.

                1. What is it that she supplies, exactly?

                  1. Platitudinous speeches to companies with more cash than sense.

                    1. How would you know what she says?

                    2. I’m the chief caviar acquisitions manager for Goldman Sachs.

                    3. So you’re gonna be Hillary’s nominee for Treasury Secretary?

                    4. Right, because the single requirement for treasury sec of every Clinton skeptic in the country is that he or she not be formerly employed by Goldman Sachs. So yeah, probably.

                    5. Don’t sell me short, I’m also not keen on Paul Krugman. But the probability of Clinton appointing a politically connected crony, regardless of whatever bullshit campaign promises she makes, can be safely rounded up to 1.

        3. No he just swindled people on an unimaginable scale for his entire career.

          Given most of his career has been licensing his name, that would be kind of hard.

          1. You must not be paying attention to the news.

            You really don’t get to bitch about Hillary’s alleged crimes if you don’t take a look at what Trump’s been up to for decades.

        4. But for the ones he does want to start, he wants to use nukes and aim them at civilians!

          Is that from Donald Trump, or the Donald Trump living in your head.

            1. I was combining his support for the hypothetical use of nukes with his support for bombing the families of suspected terrorists. In other words, pacifist in chief!

              1. Does dodging sniper fire in Bosnia count as pacifism?

                1. Forget that, she’ll never be presidential material until she says how big her dick is on national TV.

                  1. I don’t think the size of her dick was ever in question.

        5. Swindled some students out of money…..

          vs..

          Fucked up and entire nation to get one guy, expanding the refugee crisis in Europe…..

          Yeah, those totally aren’t the same….

  26. I’m just waiting for the good part where they give up and start threatening to move to Canada. That never stops being fun.

    1. I can think of only four groups who actually followed through on these threats – United Empire Loyalists, fugitive slaves, and the draft-dodgers of the Civil War and Vietnam.

      1. And when a Republican got elected, the slaves soon started moving back.

        1. (which messes with the narrative)

        2. “And when a 3rd-party candidate got elected, …”
          FTFY

    2. It stops being fun when they inevitably don’t follow through on it. Such a let-down.

    3. Yeah. The new stuff is fun but it is always good to hear the classics.

  27. We don’t fucking serve a fucking president. Fuck him for even improving that fucking thing.

    We elect you to serve us you fucking asshole.

    1. You’re welcome, I’m sure.

  28. Ah the first video-the sincere and concerned looks, the quavering voices. These people care Goddamnit! What a mastubatory train wreck.

    1. Yeah, it’s not like these ‘people’ do exactly that all of the time. It’s how they make their living.

      They must think we’re stupid.

  29. Jesus Christ. I forgot about the ultra-creepy celebrity pledges to ‘serve’ Obumbles. What a bunch of idiots.

    Remember, he is totally not a socialist and his supporters are totally not members of a cult of personality.

  30. Why do people give a rat’s ass what celebrities’ political (or religious for that matter) views are? I don’t care if Iron Man wants to vote for Hillary. I just care if he’ll be entertaining in Avengers 3.

    1. First, affirmation bias, we all do it. Maybe not always or maybe not always politically, but we, as a species, do it constantly.

      Second, I’m all for their 1A rights but lot’s of people with lots of money going on camera to pledge service to a wealthy crony should be personally disconcerting to any libertarian.

      1. A wealthy crony striving to become leader of the ‘Free World’ that is.

  31. Vote for Hillary Clinton and Mark Ruffalo Will Show You His D*ck

    TRUMP 2016

  32. The subject of celebrities and politics came up once when I was talking to my son. He said “I don’t pay any attention to that. They are clowns. All I have to say to them is ‘entertain me clown-boy. Then shut your mouth.”

    Sounds good.

  33. I was wondering when the usual circle of celebrity Maduro supporters would come out for Hillary. Seemed to take a bit longer this time around.

  34. Any one of those celebs give me a million bucks, I’ll vote for whomever they say. As often as they say it.

    1. No, no. What they’re doing is telling us who to vote for and wanting US to give them a million dollars.

      We’ll we can chose to Vote for who we want AND can choose which movies we choose to pay for.

  35. I know they are vacuus, clown-boys (thank you Suthenboy) but it honestly makes me physically ill to watch that.

    1. clown-boys (and girls)

  36. I seriously don’t recognize at least half of these people. Sheen, Johansson, RDJ, Ruffalo, Cheadle, Julianne Moore, Stanley Tucci, Key (or Peele, can never remember which one is which). That’s it.

    The only disappointment is RDJ, he’s never come off as lefty before. I don’t really remember him ever doing anything particularly political.

    1. You’re disappointed in people not supporting Donald Trump for president?

      1. False dichotomy

        1. A US presidential election actually is a true dichotomy.

          1. Results != Process

            1. Well we’re at the dichotomy part now and will be until election day.

              1. That is the (likely) result. The process is still ongoing.

                1. And this is the point in the process where people put on their big-boy pants and make a choice between the only two viable options.

                  1. Why would I vote for someone who’s already going to win?

                    1. Why would you vote for someone who’s certain to lose? It’s not like anyone sees you do it.

                    2. Indeed, it makes no sense to take into account other people’s opinions while voting.

    2. Yeah, RDJ slipped down a few thousand notches in my opinion for this….

  37. This is rich. You’re the guy who already did an extensive interview with Penn Jillette and his thoughts on the election. You love stars. Your only disappointment is Clinton has more for her than Johnson does. Or maybe it’s that she has more than Trump.

    1. “Nick Gillespie: closet Trump supporter”

      … though no one, ever

    2. Uh, did you miss the part where he says that he loves that celebrities are open with their political opinions?

  38. None of them even pledged their obedience to Hillary?

    1. Maybe they didn’t want to actually put her name on an extended dick joke.

      1. No its all about pleading with us not to literally elect SATAN President.

        Hell, I’m ready for President Trump because everyone will be so committed to reigning in and limiting the President again. Like it is actually supposed to be all the time!!

  39. You know, celebrities told us that Obama was going to save the world. They told us that Bush was Hitler. Hell some of them even told us not to hate Hitler. And oh yeah, they routinely break the laws, discriminate and cover up felonious behaviors like murder and child molestation.

    But here they are again, all good intentions and tinkly music and tasteful production values, telling us “Please, plebes…*CHOKE*…vote for OUR corrupt, lying asshole. Because….feelings!”

    ALL OF YOU. DIE. IN. A. FIRE.

  40. I like celebrities who get involved in politics at any level.

    Possibly because, by comparison, it makes you look like a less shallow thinker.

  41. In 2009, a whole host of well-known actors “pledged to serve” Barack Obama like he was god-emperor of Dune.

    Also, Leto was not meant to be seen positively, at least considering his entire plan was to be so terrible it forced people to leave and follow The Golden Path. Nice attempt at a Dune reference Nick, but read the books first. I would have accepted God Emperor of Man however.

    1. You reference Dune but miss that it was Leto II that was the God Emperor, not Leto. Tsk, tsk. 😉

  42. The double play of derp douche is back again.

  43. Did you notice in the last (2012) video that these great celebrities all chant in unison like a bunch of mindless zombies? Oh, wait, they ARE a bunch of mindless zombies. But really, if you can’t trust the intellect of a Hollywood celebrity, whose can you trust? Golly, I might end up having to think for myself. Oh, no!

  44. I remember when get out the vote campaigns just wanted me to vote and didn’t tell me who I MUST VOTE FOR.

    THESE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKERS CAN GO THE FUCK TO HELL!!!!!!!

    ENCOURAGE ME TO VOTE FINE! TELL ME WHO I MUST VOTE FOR AND YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER ONE PARTY FASCIST WHO WILL EVENTUALLY PUT ALL OF US WHO DON’T AGREE WITH YOUR EVERY GODDAMNED THOUGHT IN A CAMP.

    FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!

  45. I will not waste my vote on Hillary Clinton, a big time war monger and supporter of the racist and un Constitutional war on drugs.
    No, I will not waste my vote on Hillary Clinton, the racist war monger.

    1. Try telling them this, they simply won’t listen. When ever I attempt to explain to a prog how vile Clinton is, and why she will never receive my vote despite my utter contempt for Trump, they respond with lines like “But Trump is so much worse; he will start WW3; he’s the next Hitler” or “Stop listening to Fox News; those are all lies, Hillary is so nice, she is fit for the presidency; but Bush got us into the war, she is trying to end it and save everyone” etc. I’m somewhat more sympathetic to the ones who admit that she’s bad but support her because they feel Trump is worse. I have nothing for the ones who actively support her.

  46. Try to get a prog to explain to you the difference between corporations and these celebrities, vis-?-vis, Citizens United. If anything, what these celebs are doing is more damaging to democracy than when corporations participate in political speech (be it donations or ads); at least it should, according to their standards. Their complaint against the Citizens United decision is that by allowing corps. to participate in political speech, it somehow has a detrimental effect on democracy, as it tells them who to vote for; as the citizens are so week and the corporations are so powerful. That these donors are trying to control voters as to influence the election.

    If that is the case, I see no difference between the CEOs and the celebrities. In fact, celebrities are more highly revered than business executives. So when these same celebs who hate Citizens United put out such videos telling people who to vote for, what the hell do they expect to accomplish other than to influence voters decision? How does this not interfere with democracy, but when corporations express their views it does?

    Yes, I fully support their right to free speech, and don’t really think either these celebs or corps. have a huge effect on the outcome of the ultimate decision of voters, I’m just pointing out the utter hypocrisy of these leftists.

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