Comparing the Apology Styles of Gary Johnson, Clinton, and Trump
Matt Welch asks in the L.A. Times, 'What would the world look like if politicians weren't always applying lipstick to their rhetorical pigs?'


"Politicians aren't supposed to apologize," I write over at L.A. Times Opinion, "unless it's one of those sorry-not-sorry deals that precede yet another rant about why the opposing candidate is a dangerous cretin." We saw an exception to that rule last week with Libertarian Party presidential nominee Gary Johnson, who led with his chin after brainfarting on the word "Aleppo." This stands in sharp contrast to his competitors:
It was one year ago this month that eventual GOP nominee Donald Trump was given a long set of Mideast stumpers from radio host Hugh Hewitt. Instead of confessing his ignorance in real time — an ignorance, I hasten to add, that I and the majority of Americans surely share — Trump tried to bluff his way through the interview, eventually mangling Kurds with Quds and generally coming off as unimpressive.
Trump handled his stumble by calling the conservative Hewitt a "third-rate radio announcer" with "very low ratings" and questioning his fitness to moderate debates. Self-reflection isn't exactly the real estate developer's bag. […]
Whereas Trump bulldozes through criticisms with bluster, Clinton evades scrutiny of her misdeeds by maintaining the contradictory fictions that she accepts full responsibility and also has already answered all of the relevant questions honestly, thank you very much.
Speaking of Aleppo, we finally have the first clean post-gaffe national presidential poll, from Reuters/Ipsos. Results? No change from the week before, tied his all-time high at 8 percent.
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I've always had a thing for cute blondes.
I was trying to think of a snarky reply but was distracted by a high-pitched wailing sound, which i was dismayed to discover was coming from me.
?_?
I tried pasting that face by itself but reason's comment filter nazi's said SPEAKA ENGRISH PREASE
8%. How appropriate.
Good news! Johnson is merely losing by a giant margin rather than a colossal one.
Johnson should apologize for going soft on Hillary.
Well hooray!! Doing better than expected.
All time high.
Then the candidate's supporters will have little to nothing to spin on the internet. Where is the fun in that?
yep. ya gotta keep the righteous indignation hate train rolling
"But I do know that I'd rather have a candidate quickly cop to a brain fart or tall tale than continue blundering along from one lie to the next."
Unfortunately, judging by the two major candidates this is -- literally -- a minority opinion.
MATT WELCH, OBAMA VOTER, WANTS APOLOGY TOUR 2.0
The criticisms of Hillary in this article are sexism, straight up. Probably motivated by his frustration at wanting her sexually but not being alpha enough to win entrance into her yawning love crater.
It's really more of a caldera.
The prize is the honey-magma.
I'm really glad I just finished lunch.
Can you catch pneumonia from honey-magma?
It's worth it, just for a whiff of that Hillary Nectar.
It depends on what part sneezes on you.
Sneezing is caused by erectile tissue in the nose.
Yeah it is. bow-chica-wow-wow
Now I need to have the part of my brain that pictured that excised. Thanks guys.
Perfect timing. I've been meaning to learn how to do artisanal transorbital lobotomies. Would you care to be a guinea pig for me?
I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you mean he could be a guinea pig *before* the operation, not *after.*
What is he? Jeffery Dahlmer?
If he's a guinea pig *for* the operation, I very much doubt he'll mind being a guinea pig after the operation, Libertarian.
/1930s quack surgeon
Don't let Jesse operate on your brain. He'll probably feed you your own brain tissue, lightly sauteed in butter, garlic, and thyme.
He'll probably feed you your own brain tissue, lightly sauteed in butter, garlic, and thyme.
Oh please, it's not like you're doing anything else with it.
Worst pickup line ever.
Webster Hubbell is that hung?
a large volcanic crater, typically one formed by a major eruption leading to the collapse of the mouth of the volcano.
I need a cigarette.
Even if you put out your eyes, my comments could still be read to you.
And if he pours wax in his ears, there is always braille. Just imagine reaching out and feeling the words "sugar" and "free" with your fingers every time you grope for some sensory input.
Let's just say he took the long view; that's why they named the telescope after him.
Someone willing to write of Gary Johnson for not knowing specifics about a nondescript Syrian town, aren't the kind of voters who would have been bothered enough by the constant lies of Hillary to have backed him in the first place.
If Gary can have a brain fart on Aleppo, surely Clinton can be allowed a brain fart on Benghazi.
More importantly, What difference, at this point, does it make? "No change from the week before."
Who died as a result of Gary's brainfart?
No, Clinton cannot be forgiven for hers. In a just world she would be in prison.
I don't disagree. But this is why I don't think Gary's gaffe should be disregarded. Shit's gonna happen, he's gonna have to know where Aleppo is or how to fake his way into a reasonable principled decision/outcome.
Not instantly recognizing Aleppo as a city in Syria does not mean that if he was elected president he would not have that information in front of him before he was going to speak about Syria, or create a policy regarding Syria.
It's a shitty gotcha question that has no bearing on reality.
Not instantly recognizing Aleppo as a city in Syria does not mean that if he was elected president he would not have that information in front of him before he was going to speak about Syria, or create a policy regarding Syria.
Right. The sorta thing you'd have all ironed out before taking office... or going on national television explaining why you're the better candidate than the former SOS who helped/continued to fuck up the very region under discussion and better than the guy who's been a politician for less than 18 mos.
I see a bumper sticker in the future:
NO ONE DIED WHEN GARY'S BRAIN BY WEED WAS FRIED
Aleppo is not a nondescript Syrian town. It is one of the largest cities in the country. It has been the site of the worst fighting and some of the worst killing in th civil war. Calling it a nondescript town is like calling Atlanta a nondescript town I. The American civil war.
It is also the cultural and historical center of Syria's Christian population. You n the d to find a better angle for spinning for Johnson
If a candidate knew what and where Aleppo is, but claimed the whole thing was a misunderstanding over a Youtube video, would that make them more presidential?
For years libertarians have claimed they were above the "but the other guy is worse" defense. I guess team orange is real.
You mean the Libertarian Part is a political party? [gasp]
Yeah, Gary Johnson isn't perfect. Not everyone can be like your Bouffant Messiah.
It's team gold, but there's not enough of us to get together to buy team t-shirts to get the word out.
team orange is reserved for Trump's 2020 party
I thought team orange was your team, John. Aren't you in for Trump?
No, Orange as an insult for libertarians goes back to Lonewaco, a BarelyLiterate troll who asked TheToughQuestions and TypedLikeThis and who is the most probable originator of the Cosmotarian insult.
He was a rabid anti-immigration asshole to the Nth degree and all-around whining asshole that Warty ran off years ago. And LW somehow spawned a whole movement of idiots who are dedicated to trolling this place in the exact same way he did.
He also liked to threaten to sue people:
Didn't he freak out and disappear because Warty accused him of being a ChildMolestor? Suspicious, that. I mean, we'd been calling him plenty of comparably bad stuff for years.
Yeah. Warty hit pretty close to home, I think.
I mean, I told everyone he anally pleasured himself with a silicone burrito and he barely blinked.
Of course, telling someone that they anally pleasure themselves with a silicone burrito is just how you say "Hello."
It wasn't meant as an insult. Red and blue and green are taken. So why not orange?
Atlanta falls somewhere between nondescript and nightmarish.
besides, Atlanta is actually in America, and isn't some city in Idontgiveafuckstan
You n the d to find a better angle
Euphemism?
Personally, I wrote him off way before the most recent time he showed how dumb he is.
And yet he's still the smartest of the three.
We act as though that's surprising. Least common denominator politics leads to least common denominator politicians.
Those who think "Block Insane Yomomma" is a clever nickname probably shouldn't be having judgment about whether other people are dumb, Mikey.
Hillary's apology style is far, far better than that of Trump or Johnson. At least when Hillary says something 'deplorable', she has the decency to have a seizure, fall down, and disappear from public.
Biden is playing 4-dimensional chess
4-dimensional chess looks a lot like pocket pool, then.
+1 running the table
+1 castling by getting the twig above the berries
I mean berries above the twig. Jesus, how did I fuck that up.
Chipper Morning Wood fucked up that masturbation euphemism so bad he got deported!
How about an apology for a second week of no Fifth Column podcast?
What? I thought that action got dropped on Thursday... are these hacks really that shoddy? One week I could forgive, because of all the shit that happened on Dancing with the Stars... but two weeks? I can't... even...
Meh, maybe it is Thursday's now. Who am I? Captain Calendar?
Or Admiral Apostrophe?
Commander CYA
You know who else did a lot of apologizing?
Canadians?
They don't apologize. What with their beady little eyes and flappy heads so full of lies.
Recovering alcoholics?
Characters on shows Larry David wrote for?
Sorry, I don't know the answer to this one. My bad.
Brenda Lee, right?
Eric Idle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsM0CwqGrBs
Archie Leach? (the John Cleese character, not Cary Grant)
Tony Hayward?
So, is the 'Not Sorry' face is generated to avoid copyright protection of the 'Sorry' face or the other way around?
VCDL sues Couric and producer for $12M after she defamed them in antigun agitprop.
http://www.washingtonexaminer......le/2601698
That really was unbelievable what she did. It was no different than the daily show, chopped and edited to make them look like fools. It was a goddamned comedy show.
I don't really care that much about the relative apology styles considering how much absolute sway the media has over whether they need to apologize at all. That's the real issue.
OT: some of the new leaked emails are funny:
Colin Powell: Would rather not vote for her, even though he considers her a friend, because she's old, too ambitious, greedy, non transformational and bill is sill "dicking" bimbos at home.
DNC: Apparently the DNC, after finding out their email system was hacked, emailed new passwords to everyone
The email where he talks about Bill still banging bimbos is comedy gold. And notice both Powell and the donor knew Hillary was sick. But the media was totally in the dark. They didn't lie and cover up her health issues. Nosiree. They didn't know anything.
Hillary's "not transformational". Yeah, that's the problem with Hillary.
She is the culmination of 50 years of corruption and theft in the federal government
I beg to differ. In her case, transforming into something...anything, would more likely than not be an improvement
"Dicking bimbos." I can't stop laughing at that one.
The part of that latter guys' twitter i found funny was discovering what appears to an account that Cheerleads for Hillary/Tim with chinese-to-english nonsense like
OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!?OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!? OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!?
Goddammit, Welch, you broke HM. Now who's going to curate twerking videos for us?
and HM broke H&R again. Everything's back in italics land
If you look carefully, it's GILMORE who broke it. HM's name is italicized.
your observations are more in accordance with the facts of the situation than were mine.
my bad, and my most sincere apologies to HM
Goddammit, Welch, you broke HM. Now who's going to curate twerking videos for us?
SHUT UP YOU USUALLY ESPECIAL!
I'm just sick of bullshit like this as opposed to covering real stories. Like the announcement by the Director of the Cardiovascular Institute at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, Dr. Mehmet Oz, that Donald Trump is an indigo child whose chakras are in perfect alignment, and, if elected, will be the most spiritually awakened president in U.S. history. Even greater than The Lightbrigner.
I hear Trump is a big hitter on the golf course. So he has that going for him.
I understand machismo is his thing, but if he's not careful, he's getting close to North Korean leader levels here.
He plans to grant his cabinet members complete consciousness at their deaths
It's all true you can read about it in "The Art of the Deal".
If machismo really is his thing, that will pretty much wrap up the latino vote for him. Hillary didn't see that shit coming. *POW, POW POW!*
indigo child
I've been sitting here the last couple minutes and trying to visualize Trump as an indigo child and I'm just not getting it... needz maor enlightenment.
Someone call Hugh, we need a ruling on this comment.
That was supposed to be linked to the Peter Griffin video, right?
Too lazy.
Apology styles? [facepalm] This nation has taken pussification up to 11.
The near silence about Hillary's health on reason continues. It is a bit remarkable.
Yes. Yes it is....
They already wrote about it, it's pneumonia.
OT: Anyone see this yet?
http://www.vibe.com/2016/09/we.....cop-fired/
You stay classy, domestic law enforcement.
So puppycide is now going to be mandated too?
I'm pretty sure they made that mandatory back in the 2000's....... eventually we'll see our first cop fired for not shooting a families golden retriever
Yesterday's news!
Somehow I missed that yesterday....came up as "7 minutes ago" in my newsfeed and I got all excited. Premature promulgation.
[hides face under hands]
Bully!
Trump - "Whatever"
Clinton - "Fuck you"
Johnson - "I sincerely apologize"
Like I said before Johnson is the guy you wish you had as a neighbor so you could invite him to all of your bbq's. For president? I dunno about that. I want a rattlesnake whose interests align with the country's interests.
I want a rattlesnake whose interests align with the country's interests.
This is my philosophy on hiring a lawyer.
That is precisely it Paul.
I dont want a lawyer for President.
Johnson is the slightly dim president of the homeowners association in a Proggy gated community.
I thought that was Weld.
I disagree. Hillary is the president of the HOA. Think Over the Hedge.
Johnson is kind of a single- maybe triple issue candidate who probably doesn't spend a lot of time mulling over wonky foreign policy question. So no, he doesn't know the the name of the president of Latvia.
As a former resident (born and raised) of New Mexico, you can't be a douchey prog and get elected Governor of that state. You usually have to be a Democrat, but it's a southwest/texas/new mexico type of Democrat. He was considered a good governor, generally popular because like a Charlie Wilson, he has a constituency that doesn't demand a lot so he could get away with vetoing the fuck out of everything.
the president of Latvia
Victor Von Doom, and he's the king, dumbass.
I would vote for you for President. Twice if they can keep voter ID from being a thing.
My fireside chats would help the whole nation lose weight.
from projectile vomiting?
"Like I said before Johnson is the guy you wish you had as a neighbor so you could invite him to all of your bbq's."
He'd be the guy who'd bring the best weed.
He's a hippie. A capitalist hippie, the only subset of hippie that is acceptable, but a hippie none the less. He seems like a fun and interesting dude but he doesn't have the skill set to succeed at politics at the national level. I'll still vote for him, he is the lesser evil, but man is he a weak candidate.
Stone Cold Steve Austin for president it is.
I get your point. But, I have to wonder, how the hell did we get to the point we need a rattlesnake. I mean, honestly, I would prefer the most boring ass bastard I could find in the White House. Just a guy who listens to a few briefings, signs a orders that do minimal harm, finds a few more things to squeeze out of the budget and spends the rest of the day going to ribbon cuttings and trade expos.
I dunno, I think Gary is now just a boring old has been politician since he quit weed. He seemed pretty cool before. Lesson learned: Never quit weed, or don't start in the first place. Or do both these things earlier in life.
The funny thing is, no matter how badly I think of Hillary Clinton supporters, it still pales in comparison to how badly Hillary Clinton quite obviously thinks of them. She tells them the most blindingly obvious lies and still expects them to believe it. She changes her lies within, quite literally, hours. She's put up on her website, as talking points for her campaign, a story about frigging Pepe the Frog.
I consider Clinton supporters idiots. She clearly views them as abject morons.
They're not idiots, they're rabid partisans whose blanket fear of Republicans blinds them to all other avenues of thought.
someone explained it to me once:
Republicans hate the government
Democrats hate Republicans
In fairness to Hillary, can you really blame her for that Bill?
Yes. Yes I can.
"She clearly views them as abject morons."
Your post suggests strongly that she's right.
It's unbelievable how many people are claiming to believe that yes, indeed, she has pneumonia.
I believe it is possible. What I want to know: What is the underlying condition is that caused her to contract it.
OT: so apparently the ACC has just voted to remove all neutral site championship events from North Carolina.
Serious question: can they be sued for breach of contract?
Not carving out bathroom access rules for Bi-gendered Cross-dresser Drag King Drag Queen Femme Queen Female-to-Male FTM Gender Bender Genderqueer Male-to-Female MTF Non-Op HIJRA Pangender Transexual/Transsexual Trans Person Woman Man Butch Two-Spirit Trans Agender Third Sex Gender Fluid Non-Binary Transgender Androgyne Gender Gifted Gender Blender Femme Person of Transgender Experience Androgynous is breach of contract. The ACC is merely responding in kind.
When can we expect to see Men's, Women's, MTF's, and FTM's locker rooms and teams as mandates in any/all ACC contracts? This cis-gendered team bullshit that they're perpetuating is gonna end soon, right?
Seems like some guy with a lot of time and a law degree could sue his way right into any/all women's collegiate athletic locker rooms.
Non-gendered sports teams saves money and solves Title IX.
Of course, my school was already in compliance, of possibly we have too many female scholarship athletes.
"What do you think about Aleppo?"
"That's an excellent question, Bob, and it's issues like this which show we need a real knowledgeable, take-charge guy in the White House. Someone who wants to make our tax system fairer by replacing the income tax and payroll tax with a consumption tax. You see, Bob..."
OH GOD IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN
What do you mean?
I've heard a rumor that some of these threads look like the're all in italics. The italics are invisible to anyone except racists.
But I wouldn't know anything about that.
Just drink your V8 and you'll be fine
Weren't you the one who quipped "if everything's in Italics, nothing is in italics'? that won the internet that day.
I feel we have all been slighted slanted. Lacists!