Everybody Pretends They Know All About Aleppo, Clinton Holds Press Conference, Hackers Arrested for Targeting Feds: P.M. Links

• This is the 2016 election in a nutshell: Gary Johnson 'won' the news cycle this morning over a gaffe where he blanked on what Aleppo (a besieged city in Syria) was. The inevitable punchline was that at least one elite media outlet (The New York Times) also screwed up its explanation of Aleppo. Note the Google trend rankings below from this morning:

Google

• Meanwhile, here's what's currently happening in Aleppo if anybody actually cares. No? Hmmm.
• Hillary Clinton held an actual press conference today and attacked Donald Trump for praising Russian President Vladimir Putin.
• One person was shot and injured at a Texas school. The shooter then apparently killed himself or herself. A police officer on the scene was also apparently accidentally shot by a marshal.
• Two North Carolina men were arrested for allegedly hacking the accounts of several federal officials and illegally accessing law enforcement databases.
• Federal prosecutors arrested an Orange County, California, Superior Court clerk and a pack of alleged accomplices for charges of running a ticket-fixing scheme where he is accused of accepting bribes to meddle with more than 1,000 cases over five years.
• Tiresome overblown cultural outrage of the day: A Florida Walmart used boxes of sodas to create a memorial display of the towers for Sept. 11. That was kind of dumb.
• BURRITO DRONES ARE COMING!

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Gary Johnson 'won' the news cycle this morning over a gaff...

DISQUALIFIED. Now let the grownups talk, Gary.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Fuck the grownups, man. Uncle Gary is definitely more interesting than a fight between Mom and Dad. That, or letting Aunt Jill and her crazy black boyfriend talk about the "Manspiracy of Global Shortening" or whatever she gets on about after huffing a bunch of spray paint.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

Oh, for sure they know jack shit about Aleppo.

NO, IT'S NOT DOG FOOD.

[SQRLSY One]

Aleppo... It's not just a dog food, it's also a leopard food!

That's why they added the "lep" to "Alpo", see?

Next on the hit parade? They are working on "Alhippo"...

It's not just a dog food, it's also a hippo food!

[Tagore Smith]

Aleppo? I hardly Meepo. Not good at micro.

[Entelechy]

Walmart offers free case of leopard food to first pilot to crash two burrito drones into the Red Bull Trade Center in Aleppo

[bacon-magic]

McAfee would've murdered any gotcha journalists...just sayin'.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Especially if they questioned why he married a hooker.

[bacon-magic]

I (according to my posts on the PM links yesterday) always thought hookers were for choking, not marriage. It could be both I guess but that would get old after a while or short lived if you get too excited.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Choking does not have to be fatal, if the hooker taps like she is supposed to.

[bacon-magic]

"The safe word was Armageddon ho, why didn't you say it while I was choking...oh."

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

When they're dead, they're just hookers, Cyril.

[The Last American Hero]

He just got confused over the rules of Fuck/Marry/Kill.

[Mr.Mist]

Because he loves her.

[Fist of Etiquette]

AND HE BETTER NOT TEBOW DURING THE ANTHEM.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A Florida Walmart used boxes of sodas to create a memorial display of the towers for Sept. 11.

Mountain Dew melts steel!

[PBR Streetgang]

Florida, WalMart, Mountain Dew and 9/11. The is one confederate flag away from peak redneck.

[Mad Scientist]

Needs more meth.

[AlmightyJB]

or beastiality

[Ted S.]

Why not both?

[Mad Scientist]

beastamphetamine!

[jesse.in.mb]

beastamphetamine!

Transformers: Beast Wars character or Taiwanese independent film about coming to terms with oneself?

[Mad Scientist]

I assumed that was the name of a Pokemon character.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

We've all been there.

Poking yer Mom, that is.

[bacon-magic]

1st google result.
3rd google result

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Please tell me Beast Wars is not some porn you had to burn on a DVD to bang some dude because there was an uptick in straight furries wanting a man to paint a sticky map of Hawaii on their fluffy chest.

[AlmightyJB]

That's awfully specific.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

It's a reference to his story from yesterday, which was also awfully specific.

[AlmightyJB]

Glad I missed it

[Heroic Mulatto]

You're right. Beast Wars is obscene. If I wanted to watch Reboot, I would watch Reboot.

[jesse.in.mb]

Please tell me Beast Wars is not some porn you had to burn on a DVD to bang some dude because there was an uptick in straight furries wanting a man to paint a sticky map of Hawaii on their fluffy chest.

This has been a fun look into the fantasy life of Chipper Morning Wood.

*backs out of room slowly, avoiding eye contact*

Nah it was a Transformers show with dinosaurs from when my little brother was a kid. I'm much better versed on mid-to-late '90s cartoon shows than I'd like to be.

[AlmightyJB]

That's what I always say.

[Brett L]

At all the parks in my county, people are warned not to molest the alligators.

[Chipwooder]

And a lifted F-250 on super swampers

[Fist of Etiquette]

@online_shawn @Walmart Walmart, this is disgusting and unacceptable. I will not be shopping in your stores again.
? Eric Kabakoff (@erickabakoff) September 6, 2016

Yes you will.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Kabakoff rhymes with shrill jack-off.

[Zeb]

Maybe tacky, but I don't see "disgusting".

[Fist of Etiquette]

I liked it.

[Rhywun]

Me too. Tiresome outrage, indeed.

[Wasted Vote Jr.]

WalMart did it, or the vendor did? I haven't worked in grocery since the 90s, but soda displays are usually put up by the vendors, was my understanding.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Regardless, when some toddler crashed into the display, there were the inevitable conspiracy theories when the tower of cucumbers next to the display mysteriously collapsed in on itself right afterwards.

[Rhywun]

I hope someone got of snap of the two shards of cardboard that miraculously collapsed into the shape of a cross.

[Trshmnstr smells of Lo Mein]

TODDLER SNOT CAN'T MELT ALUMINUM CANS!!!!

[Don Escaped Texas]

Yes...always

[LoneWaco]

$3.33 for a twelve pack ain't bad

[flye]

True. This is all well documented in Michael Moore's "Faygo Lite 9/11"

[Jgalt1975]

Except Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product and the Business Insider story says all the brands in the display were Coca-cola products....

[Fist of Etiquette]

Get a load of the truther over here.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Wait, I I want to know why Walmart didn't have a Harambe stuffed animal standing on the top of one of the towers with a little Jessica Lange doll.

Now that would have killed.

[pan fried wylie]

because they couldn't find a Jessica Lange doll in time.

[Neon Bible]

Jet fuel can't melt dank memes!

[Juvenile Bluster]

A pair of idiots "artists" in Seattle are putting up these flyers decrying gentrification, which will surely ... do what, exactly?

[Libertarian]

Gentrification: the visible improvement of a city or neighborhood, made possible by infusions of money and increased economic activity. Talk about First World problems.

[AlmightyJB]

The opposite of white flight. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Could be shortened to "Damn, White."

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

You're supposed to just GIVE them your money.

[Illocust]

Funny thing about gentrification, it is nearly a unanimously left on left crime.

[Ted S.]

Why do they hate gays?

[Illocust]

WAIT! Am I crazy or is that an evil Jew caricature on those signs. I swear I've seen something just like it from propaganda for Nazi Germany.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It's the old "Caucasians" logo that was a takeoff on the Cleveland Indians logo that some people wanted to use to offend white people but everyone just found it funny.

[Illocust]

Ah okay.

[Zeb]

Peckerwood.

[Heroic Mulatto]

As far as I can tell, it's the Cleveland Indians' mascot with a dollar sign in his hair instead of an eagle feather.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Definitely what that is. Seems like fertile territory for a "cease and desist" letter.

[Juice]

Ha! Well spotted.

I'm sure everyone will take it most seriously.

[B.P.]

One of the cited violations: "Exasperating income segregation."

I love it when people try to sound smart and conflate terms, such as "exasperate" and "exacerbate".

Go 'way, excerbatin'.

[Spartacus]

That's why we just say 'batin. Or 'ratin. Whatever.

[Zeb]

If it's a karmic infraction, shouldn't the fines be collected in the next incarnation or something?

[Libertarian]

"displacing black people" = "paying current residents 10X what they paid for their houses"

Racists!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Well, it can mean paying current slumlord 10X; the renter gets a foot in his ass.

[Zeb]

Yeah, no sense pretending that there are no downsides for anyone to "gentrification", even if most of the complatints are ridiculous.

[OBJ FRANKELSON]

As much as the term gentrification causes me to roll my eyes, gentrification is often accompanied by rampant eminent domain abuse.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

::raises hand::

I don't get it.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

If you are an "artist" in Seattle of all places: Chances are you have something to do with gentrification.

[Rhywun]

Not if they're Black or Brown.

[PBR Streetgang]

In the context of Trump's guy recently saying a 'Taco truck on every corner', a friend of a friend noted: "That's how my neighborhood was BEFORE gentrification. And it was awesome!!"
The FoaF is a tenured professor of literature (forget the specific area of specialization) at a private university in Chicago.

[Careless]

IOW, Loyolla

[Doctor Whom]

Gentrification is what other people do. This is what many gentrifiers actually (at least claim to) believe.

[Rhywun]

do what, exactly?

Signal?

"an influx of apartment projects and new businesses with no ties to the community"

lolwut?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Ah, the unassailable logic of the "but I was here first" argument.

[Tagore Smith]

I'm to this day a little ashamed of this, but when I was a teenager and first met Murray Bookchin I briefly joined his little cult and went out leafletting in the rain against some proposed luxury condominiums. I received fulsome praise from my cadre- the rest of them were like "You actually went out leafletting in the rain? Wow, you're dedicated." I shit you not.

More than anything, hypocrisy around housing policy first turned me away from the radical left. Once I had so turned, I looked back on that and was reassured. The chances that the Burlington Youth Greens were going to stage an armed insurrection were pretty much nil.

The thing about progressive towns and cities in the Northeast is that they are always very segregated and gentrified. It's not an accident- "smart growth" and "maintaining the character of our community" are about as dog-whistly dog-whistles as have ever been dog-whistled.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Progressives are obsessed with race and racism because they project.

I think that's pretty clear by their actions.

After a few 'do as I say and not as I do' examples in my life, I concluded they're just assholes.

[Eman]

Make them feel good about themselves?

[Juice]

How do people moving in and raising property values increase existing mortgage payments?

[grrizzly]

Some grizzlies are gainfully employed in Montana.

The first time the bears steal human food, they are relocated 30 miles away. The second time, it's 60 miles, and the third time it's 100. After that, they become consumer product consultants.

At the Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center, just outside Yellowstone National Park, eight bears with a demonstrated aptitude for raiding trash cans, breaking into parked vehicles or burgling chicken coops have seen their skills put to use as product testers.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Is that how you got your job, grrizzly?

[Ted S.]

I bet Jesse is happy.

[That's A Bingo!]

It's not fair that it's limited to the smarter than average bears. #AllBearsMatter

[Invisible Finger]

Not Robbie Gould.

[Swiss Servator]

+1 waiver

[Tagore Smith]

They should rent my cats. One of them once learned to open my fridge (which was a bit scary because I worried he might get in there and let the door close on him- he's smart, but not that smart.) I had to buy one of those child-proofing devices for it.

[Trshmnstr smells of Lo Mein]

I'm dealing with a smart cat right now. He has found out how to open cabinets and find the cat treats. Consequently, he needs to go on a diet.

[OneOut]

Occasionally I open a bathroom cabinet below the sink and see mine just sitting there looking at me.

This is the same one who I responded to someone saying they are carnivores with the info that he eats chips with hummus, but only if I dipped them for him.

[Fist of Etiquette]

BURRITO DRONES ARE COMING!

Could Jesus microwave a Burrito so hot even His drone couldn't deliver it?

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Yes, if you assume omnipotence is not continuous over the entire time interval in question and there is no such thing as quantum time.

[mad.casual]

Burrito by guided missile or GTFO.

I can't wait for the day when getting a burrito delivered from Mexico at twice the speed of sound finally obsoletes the taco truck.

[OneOut]

Can't they just email it to you ?

Climate Change and all that ?

[The Fusionist]

Here's an item from the obscure right-wing Volokh Conspiracy blog

"From the official Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination's Gender Identity Guidance, just released last week:

""Even a church could be seen as a place of public accommodation if it holds a secular event, such as a spaghetti supper, that is open to the general public.""

[Injun, as in from India]

The beatdowns will continue until morale improves.

[kbolino]

They're not really hiding the fact that they're cultural Marxists any more, are they?

[The Fusionist]

Fortunately, there was a political ad on behalf of a political candidate who wasn't going to tell people how to practice their religion. Maybe I could vote for that candidate?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Spaghetti supper.

Isn't that cultural appropriation?

[The Fusionist]

That depends...how spicy are the meatballs?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Meatballs.

That's my nickname by the way.

[Ted S.]

Italians are nominally Catholic.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Yup.

At one point the Polish, Irish and Spaniards were the most pious with the Italians and French least. Now, according to my cousin's Spanish chick, Spain is joining Italy and France.

[perlchpr]

It would be amazingly goddamned ironic if after all the work MA has done to disarm their citizens, they still end up hosting the first shots fired of the next American Revolution. How does Concord Green sound?

[Bubba Jones]

This is why my church checks ID before letting you into service.

Lolwtf

[ant1sthenes]

If it is discriminatory, it is by definition not open to the general public.

[gaoxiaen]

The Chinese solved this problem long ago. There are five written third-person singular pronouns that denote male, female, animal, inanimate object, or god, but they are all pronounced the same.

[ant1sthenes]

To me, that isn't even the most damning part -- it's that they consider using the wrong pronoun to be a form of discrimination. So, if Donald Trump gets elected, and I go to Massachusetts and say "I hate the President. He's a Hitleresque giant bag of shit." that's freedom of speech. But if he gets elected and then in 2018 he decides to make everyone call him Angelique, and I go to Massachusetts and say "I hate the President. He's a Hitleresque giant bag of shit", I'm a fucking criminal.

[Injun, as in from India]

A police officer on the scene was also apparently accidentally shot by a marshal.

Taxpayers, enjoy paying for the marshal's "good shoot".

[Juvenile Bluster]

Which part? The marshal's paid vacation, or the shot officer's lawsuit + medical retirement on 500% of his current salary for being shot in the line of duty?

[Libertarian]

Let's hope this doesn't get out or we'll soon have a tidal wave "you shoot me and I'll shoot you" agreements ending in medical retirements for all concerned.

[Atanarjuat]

Somehow, they'll manage to wound innocent bystanders in the process.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

If they were innocent they wouldn't of had that drop piece lying next to 'em...

[flye]

It's been almost 20 years since Outlaws was released, and I still can't hear about a Marshal without "where ARE you Marshal?!" going off in my brain.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Two North Carolina men were arrested for allegedly hacking the accounts of several federal officials and illegally accessing law enforcement databases.

They better not have been looking up info on hotties they pulled over somewhere because only cops are allowed to do that.

[Ted S.]

Two North Carolina men were arrested for allegedly hacking the accounts of several federal officials and illegally accessing law enforcement databases.

This is why the police should have set up their own private server in a bathroom.

[0x90]

WTF

[mad.casual]

WOW!

Take the mask off, laugh at it, apologize for laughing, then joke about how if, instead of masks, we all just had really fucked up faces and did this little kabuki theater thing to convince people we're normal.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

I know, right? Over an HOUR! What the hell are they even talking about?

[Gojira]

It's time for everyone's favorite part of the week, Dirty Limerick Thursday.

This is to the tune of Humpty Dumpty.

"Gary Johnson sat on a wall..."

You can contribute a line, or finish the whole goddamn thing if you're that fucking full of yourself.

Good luck!

[jesse.in.mb]

"Gary Johnson sat on a wall..."

and refused to enact labor for a nuclear reptile.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Quietly measuring how far he'll fall;
The Top Men all scoffed,
No ideas were proff'd,
And GayJay did nothing after all.

[Ted S.]

"Gary Johnson sat on a wall..."

SIV had an apoplectic fit.

[The Fusionist]

Then the supernovae of his mind exploded
Into %$&^ing awesome clusters of brain gravy
And huge throbbing space-dicks
Moving faster than the speed of mere thought
Sank into the yielding galactic core

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

"The Fusionist does Agile Cyborg"

Shatner-esque comes to mind.

/a beat I can dance to. I give it a 40.

[0x90]

"And what is a wall?"

[Jerryskids]

Gary Johnson sat on a wall
Yuuge and beautiful, ninety feet tall.....

[BigT]

All of her emails
And all of her crimes
Couldn't get Gary elected this time!

[bacon-magic]

near Aleppo did he fall

[bacon-magic]

And all Gary's orphans and all his hemp

[bacon-magic]

Couldn't put him back to 10% again

[Don Escaped Texas]

Well played

[bacon-magic]

I suck at rhymes
Just wastin' yo times
Gary would've had my vote this election
If he stayed smokin' and had an erection.

*yes, I am horrible at this

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Gary Johnson sat on a wall,
Waiting for POTUS debate call,
And then right on the air,
The Aleppo blank stare,
His polls went the way of Rand Paul.

[bacon-magic]

I really wish Rand would've won...

[Trshmnstr smells of Lo Mein]

Gary Johnson sat on a wall;
his campaign covered in a pall;
he doesn't understand the NAP;
he couldn't locate Aleppo on a map;
and he proclaims "BAKE THE CAKE, BIGOT" to all.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Federal prosecutors arrested an Orange County, California, Superior Court clerk and a pack of alleged accomplices for charges of running a ticket-fixing scheme...

Stealing money right out of public coffers. Can there be any bigger sin in public service?

[BigT]

Selling access to foreign govts?

Interring racial groups?

Segregating the civil service?

Drone killing US citizens?

...I give up.

[Rhywun]

Getting caught doing any of the above?

[GILMORE?]

Two North Carolina men were arrested for allegedly hacking the accounts of several federal officials

This story is hilarious mostly for showing how retarded and overblown the Govt claims about "Russian Hacking" are.

Because why? Because the people who hacked the CIA and NSA heads... were mostly teenagers. Who used the most basic social-engineering to access their accounts.

"Cracka" [a 17yr old Briton] gained access to Brennan's account by posing as a Verizon technician and tricking the company's tech-support unit into revealing the CIA director's account number, password and other details. He then used that information to lock Brennan out of his AOL account. Later, he released the form Brennan filled out to obtain his top-secret security clearance, a 47-page document full of personal details, according to the affidavit.

"Cracka" appears to have gotten into the law enforcement database simply by calling an FBI help desk and asking for Giuliano's password to be reset. The group is accused of using the same tactics to access an internal website for staffers at the Civil Division of the DoJ

[The Fusionist]

"to lock Brennan out of his AOL account."

Brennan's *what* account?

[That's A Bingo!]

Using AOL should disqualify you as CIA director.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

At this point, using AOL should disqualify you from using a computer.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

AOL....is this some kind of intra-government requirement to use "American" products-like, only buying US auto makers' cars?

[The Last American Hero]

I think they were going all "BSG Reboot", where the older tech was actually more resistant to attacks because nobody used that shit anymore.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

AOL, LOL.

[Brett L]

It's secure because no one knows AOL is still an email host.

[John]

There is no bigger myth than the super sophisticated genius hacker breaking into systems. 99% of hacking is done by either brute force password breaking, two bit cons like the ones described here, or by insiders who just gave access to the hackers.

[GILMORE?]

I think you left out "people who go through garbage bins looking for account numbers and SS#s to go with them", but otherwise are 100% spot on

[0x90]

+1 Hack the Gibson

enjoy

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Two bitcoins is all it takes?
[Checks brain wallet.]
Nm.

[Brett L]

My company uses security training videos by Kevin Mitnik (the kid who got a felony in the 80s for hacking). He says he regularly can catfish C level employees who have hired his firm for penetration testing and know he is coming.

[Suthenboy]

It is impossible to overstate the incompetence of the FedGov. It's a jobs program for idiots. Maybe it is for the best. If not for keeping them penned up in government buildings they would be wandering around in the streets drooling on themselves and fucking up everything in sight.

[perlchpr]

Yeah, but did we have to give them power, too? We couldn't just pay them to sit there and drool quietly?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton held an actual press conference today and attacked Donald Trump for praising Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Maybe she can lend Trump her reset button.

[Glide]

I hope that Putin praises Hillary for attacking Trump for praising Putin, and then Trump attacks Putin for praising Hillary for attacking Trump for praising Putin. We can have a lot of fun with this.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Putin praising = x
Trump = D-bag
Hilary = Satan

x + D-bag = Satan - D-bag
x + Satan = -Satan
D-bag - x = +Satan

[Rufus The Monocled]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agiY1j7Ijg0

But when the Messiah Lightbringer gaffes it's *different*. He's tired!

Besides, he's soooo far ahead of everyone it's only *normal* he makes trivial mistakes.

[Suthenboy]

Every time I pull up a youtube window lots of these appear.

How well they know me...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX58EGMyo-g

[Tim from Philly]

that was some fine Bonefishing

[jesse.in.mb]

The fact that Mother Jones got in on mocking the NY Times for multiple geography gaffs in their haste to mock GayJay is a quiet reminder that we live in the best of all possible worlds today.

The New York Times Just Issued The Funniest And Most Embarrassing Correction Ever

Lol.

[Injun, as in from India]

LOFL.

[Illocust]

See, told people earlier. The gaffe has stopped being about Gary Johnson and started being about NYT failing to mock Johnson. He gets his name in the news and people don't think Aleppo is something everybody knows.

[Chipwooder]

Which is pathetic. I don't think everyone should know a ton of details about Aleppo, but it's hardly an obscure place either in history or in current events.

[Injun, as in from India]

I didn't know about Aleppo until things really blew up in Syria. I would have expected GJ to know about it, and it was a disappointment that he didn't.

[Sonoran Desert Rat]

I have a jar of Aleppo pepper in my pantry.

[BigT]

You say Aleppo, I say gestapo. Let's call the whole thing off!

[BigT]

Chico, Harpo, and Groucho haven't seen him either.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I would often have Mid-East talks with my well-read Lebanese father in law (may he rest in peace) back in the day. The average North American talking head knows jack shit about the area. I would hear stories the media wouldn't dare touch.

[Injun, as in from India]

I'll admit I can't quite place the countries in the neighborhood correctly on a map.

Same thing with the toy states of Europe like Monaco or Luxembourg or Liechtenstein.

[Rufus The Monocled]

The only reason I can is because I've always stared at maps since I was a kid - and even then it's challenging.

So the Scarborough's of this world can literally go fuck themselves. Give me five minutes with him. I guarantee you he'll leave the room 100 pounds lighter because I'll have serve his ego to the rats.

[grrizzly]

I've always stared at maps since I was a kid

Me too. But even I thought it was an overkill when our high school geography teacher ordered to memorize the capitals of all African countries.

And as for tiny European countries, you need to visit them, then you won't confuse them.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

One of the questions on my geography test in 10th grade:

List all the countries that border Lake Victoria.

[PurityDiluting]

Trick question. Lake Victoria lies entirely within Australia

[OneOut]

Is there not a Lake Victoria in Africa ?

named by one of Britons erstwhile explorers like Livingstone or Beke perhaps ?

[Brett L]

South Ehfrica, Tanzania, Lesotho, and Zimbabwe?

[Suthenboy]

Ugh. I am old. We had to memorize countries and capitals worldwide. I don't think half of what I memorized even exists anymore.

Yeah, I had a map fetish too Rufus.

[Rhywun]

I still do.

*opens Google Maps...*

[Bubba Jones]

Best quote from Elementary:

My father is the reason so many of the countries you memorized in high school no longer exist.

[Injun, as in from India]

It's like that poll that showed a good % of Republicans in favor of bombing Agrabah, which was publicized by the media while conveniently not mentioning that a sizeable number of Democrats wanting to let refugees in from Agrabah.

Aleppo, Agrabah. #whatever

[jesse.in.mb]

The fact that all of the articles about it required protracted explanations for what was going on in Aleppo that makes it a microcosm of the implosion of Syria instead of being able to just say it was a gaff made it being a gaff a tough sell.

[Illocust]

Yeah, but the NYT mistake highlighted that. Beforehand people could think, well I don't know where that is or why its important, but everyone else says they do, so Gary should have known as well.

[Wasted Vote Jr.]

From the home office in Butte, MT, it's time for today's Top Ten List!

TOP TEN THINGS GARY JOHNSON THOUGHT ALEPPO MIGHT HAVE BEEN

10. Granny smith or red delicious?
9. One of the four strains of weed he hasn't smoked yet
8. The name of a potential Supreme Court Justice dropped by his running mate
7. The guy who recorded "Fantasy" in the 80s
6. That ventriloquist's dummy that got Krusty the Clown cancelled
5. A quarantined person with skin lesions
4. Something he wore during his disco phase
3. The legendary gangster from the 1930s
2. An excellent way to refute the notion that he's the responsible, adult candidate
1. A savory alternative to deviled ham

[0x90]

- A new competitor to Soylent.
- The Muslim version of Purgatory.
- What you call a hippo's doppelg?nger.
- Pinocchio's uncle.
- "I thought you said 'a leper.'"

[Hamster of Doom]

9. One of the four strains of weed he hasn't smoked yet

Pffft. Does this bro even dispensary? Real weed strains have names like Purple Lime Monkeyfuck, not "Aleppo". Marketing would take one look at that and collectively not even.

[bacon-magic]

Sour Diesel is one of my a friend of mine's favorites.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Imma guess that Aleppo becomes a popular weed strain within the week.

[flye]

Darmok and Jalad, at Aleppo.

[Swiss Servator]

*His gaze narrowed*

[W. Chipper Dove]

Aww, and you guys made this joke on the 50th anniversary. [makes Spock sign with hand]

[Don Escaped Texas]

Howdy

[GILMORE?]

The Military Has Discovered a New Psyops Weapon = The GIF

"The text was chosen to show Da'esh, potential terrorist recruits, and the general public that the coalition is capable of targeting Da'esh fighters anywhere and anytime; to demonstrate that the efforts of the Coalition to defeat Da'esh will be successful. ... It also serves the purpose of showing that we have a very arduous targeting process; that we are watching Da'esh, no matter where they are, and we will defeat them.

"This post has succeeded in generating discussions and will be used to help gauge whether Graphics Interchange Formats (GIF) will be used in the future," the OIR press desk added in its statement. "By staying abreast of the most current and innovative social media trends, CJTF-OIR plans on expanding the audience reached." "

I am going to be conservative and guess that this project cost the American Taxpayer about $50 million.

[Injun, as in from India]

That's still cheaper than the F-35.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

And probably more effective.

[Ted S.]

Fuck GIFs substituting for video.

Not everybody has unlimited bandwidth.

[BigT]

"When Da'esh can't quite get up to 88 mph"

+1 flux capacitor

[Suthenboy]

They can blow up pick-up trucks out in the open desert with a missile ?

I could have done that with a single shot rifle.

[Brochettaward]

http://www.nola.com/crime/inde.....s_mat.html

Man charged with felony hate crime under 'blue lives matter' law. He broke a window, and when cops arrived, he yelled obscenities at them.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Broken Windows policing; or, How I learned to stop worrying and toe the line.

[Ted S.]

I'm tired of it.

[gaoxiaen]

I'm tired of towing the lion.

[Ted S.]

I'm astonished that "blue lives matter" laws are constitutional.

[AlmightyJB]

Would it matter?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Are they Constitutional? No.

Will SCOTUS eventually find them Constitutional? You bet. Conservative justices will want to protect cops and liberal justices won't want to set an anti-hate crime precedent.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

I would be surprised if LA didn't have something on the books that says police can't be "offended parties".

Of course, they might, but did it get repealed when this POS got enacted?

If I were a defense attorney, I would love for both to be active. That would be an awesome fight to wage.

[ant1sthenes]

Given that they're explicitly political crimes, there's no way they're constitutional. There's a high probability that they would be found constitutional, of course.

[GILMORE?]

EVERYONE AGREES = MATT LAUER IS HITLER

The reviews are in, and last night's biggest loser was Matt Lauer. No one is happy with the host of NBC's "Today" show, who interviewed each presidential candidate back-to-back for 30 minutes during the network's "Commander-in-Chief Forum" in prime time.

The most galling moment came when Donald Trump repeated his demonstrably false claim that he was "totally against the war in Iraq," and Lauer never pressed him on it.

Hillary Clinton's campaign is angry that the NBC host devoted one-third of her time on stage to asking a series of follow-up questions about her email practices as secretary of state and then gave her little time to talk about pressing national security issues.

How the WaPo has decided that there is Unanimous Agreement on this utterly trivial detail is unmentioned.

[Ted S.]

Keeping State Department emails on an unsecured private server is a pressing national security issue.

[Injun, as in from India]

But Trump!!!!

[Rufus The Monocled]

I'm convinced I could do a better job than 90% of people on TV.

Plus I have cross eyes.

[Glide]

They sure didn't poll me. I would have answered "wait, there was a debatey thing already?"

[tarran]

+1 being oblivious to unimportant, irrelevant media event.

[BigT]

7 Q's for her thighness, 16 for orange wig. Obviously biased FOR Hildog.

[PurityDiluting]

Good Sir Matt made mention to Shillary that he had lots of questions, but she preferred to drag out her answers and run out the clock. I wonder why

[BigT]

Yes, she filibustered. NYT commenters complained that Lauer interrupted her filibusters.

[Crusty Juggler]

WHY WON'T REASON COVER THIS?!?! SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING AN EXAMPLE!

"Tight little package? Affirmative."

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Because Weed is Black Culture, Crusty. Blacks love drugs. Ask either Clinton.

[Crusty Juggler]

IS SHE A SUPERPREDATOR?!?!?!?!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

One can only hope.

[ant1sthenes]

I dunno, but in this context it sounds more hot and less scary.

[AlmightyJB]

She's legal now:)

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

WHY WON'T REASON COVER THIS?!?!

Because Reason is staffed by a bunch of toking colored-loving libertarians.

[GILMORE?]

I think that photo is hilarious mainly for the 3 uncomfortable-looking secret service guys dressed up like "Preppy College Bros" behind her

[Illocust]

I wonder how they are forced to dress if she ever wants to go to a club. This could be fabulous.

[GILMORE?]

Have you seen the film "Spartan"?

(or, even better = Matt Walsh's short-lived off-broadway play, "Secret Slut" - where he portrays a secret service agent who is demoted from the "Big Show", and forced to protect the President's nymphomaniac college daughter)

[Crusty Juggler]

I have seen the film Spartan and I cried at the end.

[GILMORE?]

I always thought Spartan was sort of an inverse-version of Friedkin's "Ronin"

in that they both go 'undercover' to operate w/ the bad-guys, only in the end, the one who you think has really gone rogue turns out to be loyal, while the one who is most-loyal turns out to be betrayed by his own authorities.

[Crusty Juggler]

Eh. I don't see the Ronin comparison; Mamet and Friedkin have very different styles. I did - and do, because who doesn't re-watch Ronin? - enjoy both movies.

[Private Chipperbot]

Was that the one where Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston fall in love...

[tarran]

My favorite Secret Service related fiction:

Night of the Avenging Blowfish.

Which coincidentally, has a hilarious episode where the president unknowingly consumes Alpo served to him by a very angry white house chef.

[tarran]

Crap! I misremembered. It was Spam that the president was served. Still hilarious!

[gaoxiaen]

Are you sure it wasn't Aleppo?

[Crusty Juggler]

Yes. I intended the "tight little package" reference to seem like it was coming from them. Plus, they should wear their sunglasses on the backs of their heads, like all the cool kids do. That is how you fit in, Secret Service Heavyweight Division.

[Injun, as in from India]

Meddlesome moms like Michelle Obama who screw around with what other people's kids have for lunch in school deserve to deal with this sort of behavior from their own kids.

[Zeb]

this sort of behavior

You mean the stuff that everyone does when they are 18?

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Everyone?

[Zeb]

No, not everyone. But dancing at concerts and smoking weed are pretty common and mostly harmless late-teenage activities.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Understood.

That said, Injun is correct that Michelle Kravitz deserves to deal with her daughter doing something illegal (that her hubby could do something about), after sticking her dick into other peoples' lives, like she's wont to do.

[Zeb]

Yeah, but the kids are innocent.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Is she the one with the chin that looks like an entrenching tool? Or is that the other spoiled brat?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

DAAANG, she's a rebel!

[John]

Lets not forget reason covered the living hell out the underage drinking adventures of the Bush twins. But they won't touch this.

Reason always manages to live down to the worst cosmotarian stereotypes.

[Zeb]

You are joking, right?

As far as I can recall or find in a search, they had a couple of articles that used the Bush Daughters as a jumping off point for articles about why liquor laws and drinking ages should be changed.

[John]

I am not joking. They totally covered it. Yes, they used it to make the valid point that the drinking laws are stupid. But, I am pretty sure they think the pot laws are stupid. So, why are they not covering this with the same angle?

The answer is that there are just some things they won't do. Obama may be a horrible President but it is not like he is a Republican or something. So, leave his kids out of it.

[RBS]

Does your search function work?

[John]

Good for them.

[Zeb]

That's a load of shit, as RBS has helpfully demonstrated.

But I'm sure it's still unfair and cosmo-ey because there were 2 articles about the Bush girls and only one about Obama's.

It could also be that Bush's daughters were adults during his presidency, whereas the oldest of Obama's has recently turned 18 and is just starting to do things independently in public.

Nope. Must be that Reason is secretly in love with the Obamas. It's the only think that makes sense.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

He never jokes. This is serious business.

[Zeb]

I approve. And would.

[bacon-magic]

Leave the children out of this media.

[Zeb]

Once they turn 18, they're fair game.

[Spartacus]

You're just assuming that's a bong.
It could be a mighty crack pipe.

[Zeb]

Oh, sure, just assume that black people would rather smoke crack.

[The Last American Hero]

It's not about examples, it's about how her college hopes could be in jeoprady if she was just some kid from a lower middle class background and not the daughter of the Party Secretary General. One rule for proles, one for Party Members.

[perlchpr]

Would.

[The Late P Brooks]

A police officer on the scene was also apparently accidentally shot by a marshal.

Professionalismz, FTW!

[Chipwooder]

Clearly, the only people who should possess firearms are highly trained professionals such as these. We'll be totally safe then.

[GILMORE?]

YEEZY - SEESON 4
Kanye West's Fashion Show Sorta Bombs w/ Critics

"Not just bad: Boring"

Which is sort of irrelevant; fashion shows are more like Celebrity Picnics. The entire point is to get lots of snapshots for the Gossip columns. Still - its worth reading just for the salty-disses of Kanye's overpriced sweatshirts and his amateur-model casting call for "Hot people who aren't white"

[sloopyinTEXAS]

So is the Washington Post now racist? Because only a racist would give a negative review to a black man.

[Ted S.]

Unless the black man has escaped the plantation, like Thomas Sowell or Walter Williams.

[GILMORE?]

The critic is black, so it is OK

[flye]

"Straight black men are the white men of black people."

(Would like to give credit where due, but no idea who said this...)

[RBS]

John Lennon

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I think it was Lenin, not Lennon.

[Invisible Finger]

Only boring people think Kanye West isn't boring.

[Zeb]

"Not just bad: Boring"

That's my review of West's entire career.

[GILMORE?]

Finally = Proof That Modern Teens are Super Lame

[That's A Bingo!]

Nobody wants to be like their parents.

[Zeb]

Tell that to all my hippy-child friends.

[Zeb]

That is super lame.

When I was in 8th grade I counted up all of the people in my class of about 120 people who I was sure smoked weed. It was close to 20%. That was also that sweet time in the early 90s when LSD was flowing like water.

I don't even want to know what 14 year olds are up to now.

[GILMORE?]

I don't even want to know what 14 year olds are up to now.

Tumblr and moral-preening.

[Juice]

Yup. I was lucky to be in high school in the late 80s early 90s. I got to try weed and acid in 9th grade.

[Juice]

LOL at "marijuana dependency."

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Florida Woman Spotted In Iowa.

She reminds me of two-face in that Seinfeld episode.

[Ted S.]

So who taught the kid about plastics?

[AlmightyJB]

I'd do it from either direction.

[Crusty Juggler]

Two-face? What? She has this body and they had sex almost daily in a car. I am writing this from my bunk. Jeepers creepers.

[This Machine]

What the-

Crusty, for the first time, ever, I clicked one of your links and didn't immediately feel pangs of shame and/or remorse. What's going on over there?

Blink twice if you're okay. Tap your left ear if you need help.

[Crusty Juggler]

Hey, I know you people like to make your jokes - and I tolerate it - but I do not joke around when it comes to teacher/student sex*. Those women should be treated like the angels they are, not subjected to crass jokes from the likes of Sloopy and you. For shame, sirs!

*My second-favorite fetish, which is behind only "hot moms yelling at their fat kids to exercise in the park."

[bacon-magic]

Preach brother.

[Suthenboy]

"Those women should be treated like the angels they are"

I don't get it. I would have killed to know teachers like this when I was in HS. What the hell is wrong with boys today? They whine and cry and rat these girls out? What a bunch of pussies.

I have told the story before...when I was 14 my girlfriend's mom, who was a hottie, threw me on a pool table and we went to town. I went back for more a number of times. It didn't damage me or hurt my delicate feelings.

[ant1sthenes]

Is it the boys, or jealous female classmates?

[Zeb]

Or jealous male classmates.

[Zeb]

Give that woman the Nobel Prize.

I hope the kid found out who ratted them out and kicked his ass.

[Don Escaped Texas]

Where until TX Sloopy?

[kbolino]

I remember thinking Sloopy was an Inca but I got confused when he became an Inva.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Just north of Houston.

[Don Escaped Texas]

My son lives by Hobby.

I'm sitting in bar at DFW....will re-escape soon

[Wasted Vote Jr.]

Unless you're escaping the weather, Texas sucks a lot less than most places. What part of the state did you escape, Don? That may be a factor.

I've been in South Texas my whole life; suits me just fine.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

My Dad & Step-Mom live in Spring.

[AlmightyJB]

Johnson would have been fine had he remembered the default answer whenever the press asks you "What would you do about whatever". Just answer "Nothing".

[Injun, as in from India]

$5 says Weld would have handled the same situation better if he couldn't identify Aleppo.

"Can you please provide more background or context to your question about Aleppo?"

"Please clarify your question. What are the other candidates offering on it?"

Some BS to get out of it,

[The Last American Hero]

Yes, or Fuck Aleppo, Cut Spending.

[perlchpr]

"Which Aleppo?" Since they hadn't been talking about foreign affairs, the cut would have excused asking for more context.

[GILMORE?]

Yoga. With Goats.

[AlmightyJB]

Needs MOAR meth

[gaoxiaen]

Fire up the rotisserie, class is almost over.

[The Late P Brooks]

How the WaPo has decided that there is Unanimous Agreement on this utterly trivial detail is unmentioned.

They polled some guys in a fourth floor men's room. They were outraged, to a man.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

It's spelled 'poled'.

[Thymirus]

Does anybody else suspect the new 'Star Trek' show is going to be some seriously excruciating pinko claptrap? The interviews given thus far are full of remarks about how they're planning to "honor Roddenberry's original vision."

[Chipwooder]

Wasn't that always what Star Trek was?

[The Fusionist]

Well, a military vessel is going to be operated on what by civilian standards is a socialistic basis, right?

[Thymirus]

Que?

[The Fusionist]

You got a command economy in the ship, with a captain making decisions about who works where, who eats what, how medical care will be delivered, etc.

[Thymirus]

They just replicate shit.

[__Warren__]

Star Trek gave us the Ferengi, who may well be the most ethical race ever portrayed on television. No coincidence they are hyper-capitalists.

[Thymirus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5J_qn93Nkc

[Eman]

That was pretty much the intent I think, but it was done poorly enough you didn't have to think about things like that if you didn't want to

[Thymirus]

I'm rewatching 'Deep Space Nine', and many of its episodes feature situations in which the sort of authoritarian tripe Roddenberry and his ideological fellows espoused is treated with hostility, or overtly cast as villainous.

Picard's malignant, nightmarish quasi-Soviet dystopia is beyond terrifying.

[Mad Scientist]

It won't be Star Trek if it isn't chock full of statist bullshit.

[The Fusionist]

But Han Solo was a smuggler, and he got a sympathetic portrayal.

/ducks

[__Warren__]

Well he was helping keep that space station Maroon 5 going so he's kind of a hero.

[Thymirus]

When the Cylons destroyed Alderaan, the Klingon Empire exploited the turmoil to declare war upon the Earth Alliance, and the bloodshed did not cease until the Master Chief showed up.

[John]

There was a great line in a Big Bang Theory Episode about that.

Penny "its Star Wars not Star Trek. They get really pissy when you mix the two up".

Amy "What is the difference between the two?"

Penny "There is absolutely no difference".

It was a perfect.

[MetalBard]

I only watched the original series. I don't remember a lot of political messages.

[Trshmnstr smells of Lo Mein]

I'll just leave this here

[Juice]

What are you talking about? Every other episode was a thinly disguised political message.

[Eman]

Is that photo by the "more hardcore" Jim Thompson? That book is cool.

[GILMORE?]

What photo are you talking about?

I'm a jim thompson fan.

[GILMORE?]

WaPo Attempts Sick Burn

"Hey Gary Johnson: People In Aleppo Don't Know Who You Are"

[The Fusionist]

And they never will know unless he bombs them.

[Injun, as in from India]

I'll wait until Hillary flubs and WaPo does the same to her.

[The Grinch]

That's gradeschool shit, not even good gradeschool shit. That this was published in a major paper should be exhibit A when people look at why the old media is on life support.

[John Titor]

"Let's be really classy and score political points in the Presidential race by asking people in the middle of war zone stupid questions."

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

I would imagine that, if you asked those same people in about a month's time, they won't know who "Liz Sly" is, either.

I mean, I doubt she even went to Columbia.

[ant1sthenes]

"Hey, Gary Johnson, the dumb store called and they're all out of you."

[The Fusionist]

DNC delegate charged with assaulting fellow delegate

"The accuser told The Philadelphia Inquirer that Weeks appeared to be intoxicated and told her that she looked like she could use a hug. When she reluctantly agreed, she said he gave her a big bear hug and buried his head in her chest.

"The woman said she reported the incident to police and Democratic Party officials.

"In a statement, the DA's office said it initially declined to bring charges in the case based on an "incomplete investigation."

""But, after further investigation by the (office) including a review of additional video and eyewitness testimony," officials decided to charge Weeks, prosecutors said."

[__Warren__]

In addition to None of the Above and having a threshold of a certain percentage of eligible people voting for the election to count there should be an option where you could vote for a dead person and if the corpse wins it is exhumed and placed in a chair in the normal office for that position.

[The Last American Hero]

Ah yes, the Gypsy Funeral election method. I like.

[The Last American Hero]

Ah yes, the Gypsy Funeral election method. I like.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Hillary Clinton held an actual press conference today and attacked Donald Trump for praising Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Not from today's press conference, but representative nonetheless.

The blonde woman who, as one person described it, looks like she's watching her child's violin recital, is Andrea Mitchell. She miraculously got an extra, totally unscheduled question out of Clinton. It was the challenging question about whether ISIS wants Trump to be president.

Clinton started off by responding, "I love you, Andrea. You are indefatigable. You're my kind of woman, I'll tell you what."

Have a nice dinner, y'all!

[Suthenboy]

Yeah, I saw that this morning.

99% of the press is pathetic.

[The Grinch]

Johnson's gaffe wasn't a disqualifier but this water carrying is pathetic. He's a big boy and he obviously needs to be prodded to do some preparation. Making excuses for it or saying it isn't a big deal is counterproductive. We shouldn't be the assholes that jump on others' gaffes and bend over backwards to excuse our own. Leave that to the Dems and the Reps.

[Tornado16nb]

But i dont get why it is even a gaffe

[Mad Scientist]

Because there's no way you can be a TOP MAN if you don't have all the answers, or, at the very least, a committee looking into the answers for the children.

[GILMORE?]

Apparently you're not supposed to ever say, "What's that?" , and instead bluff and generalize-talk like other candidates who know nothing about anything.

[mad.casual]

Remember back when Gary Johnson was a principled libertarian who was going to fight the tough fights and win on the general policy of getting the government out of everywhere as opposed to being just an 'also ran' talking head the party had to field in order to sop up votes left in limbo between ClinTrump?

It's like the LP knew there was gonna be a gun fight and chose Barney Fife as their representative.

[mad.casual]

The more I accept that Gary Johnson can be completely unaware of Aleppo the more credence it lends to the notion "At this point, what difference does it make?"

I probably couldn't find Aleppo or Benghazi on a map. Two big reasons why I'm not running for President or SOS and if I *have* to be led by a TOP MAN, can we at least get a TOP MAN who doesn't consistently make me feel like things would be better off for him and his party if I or Almanian ran instead?

[Meletaeus]

Because he's running for president and he's not even familiar with one of the hotspots covered on the news almost every night. A place he's going to have to make decisions about, if elected president. It's more than a gaffe. It shows that he's completely out of touch with everything going on in the world right now.

[Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)]

Actually, the decision I'd like to see made is "leave it alone". Which requires zero knowledge of the place.

[Injun, as in from India]

I'm satisfied with his mea culpa. He admitted he screwed up.

Yes, it was a BIG screwup. Yes, I'm disappointed.

I'm not excusing it, but Johnson not knowing Aleppo in an interview pales in front of Hillary's persistent lies and Trump's deficient sanity.

[The Grinch]

Agreed.

[Libertarian]

There are a hell of a lot of Libyans today who wish to god that Hillary had never heard of Libya.

[PurityDiluting]

and yesterday she said something that implied there was no civil war going on in Libya or something like that. I can't really remember what she misstatement she made about Libya last night because Aleppo

[Invisible Finger]

Disagreed.

[Glide]

Yeah, I've already been guilty of "but, Trump!" today but I certainly agree it was amateurish.

[John Titor]

It's a bad amateur move that further cements Johnson's stoner persona, but the cries of "OMG OMG OMG LOL THE LIBERTARIAN CANDIDATE IS SOOOOO STOOPID!!" are so obnoxious I'm almost okay with the water-carrying in response.

[Meletaeus]

You really want to associate yourself with his stupidity? Carrying water is what the Republicrats do. The LP is supposed to be the place we can go and vote and not feel bad about what we just did.

[The Last American Hero]

Their history of candidates runs contrary to that. Or do take the guy who says "First day in office, I'm gonna lock up everyone that ever worked for the IRS for violating the Constitution" seriously?

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Him not knowing "Aleppo" /= me feeling bad about voting for him.

If what he did can be spun as "stupidity, it could just as easily be spun as "refreshing", in the sense that a non-interventionist (lite) doesn't know every hot-spot in the world probably because his mind isn't set on what he's going to do over there.

I'm not making that claim, btw, but I have never bought into to idea that each and every presidential candidate needs to have some kind of flash-card knowledge about every part of the world, as that seems more in line with the idea that OF COURSE America is going to do something.

[John Titor]

I'm not willing to believe that the majority of the people criticizing Johnson for this were actually aware of Aleppo or actually have any substantial insight into the Syrian conflict. This is Kony 2012 "I care so much about Uganda but I can't point to Uganda on a map or understand the last ten years of its history" all over again.

If Johnson was running on an 'intervene in Syria' ticket, this would look way worse. If his ticket is 'I don't care about Syria, not our business' it's a lot less of an issue. Might as well ask him about Kazakh exports or Thai Buddhist cultural practices.

[The Late P Brooks]

Speaking of nonentities...

NYT has a piece to which I will not provide a link about that Lena Dunham balderdash. I now know more than I ever needed/wanted to. Somebody asked Whatsis (Odom?), the full time Giants receiver and part time fashion designer, about what Dunham wrote about him.

Reading between the lines, he seems to have replied, "Who? I have no idea who that is, or what you're even talking about."

[The Fusionist]

"Can you narrow it down...is she a marshmallow, a child or a dog?"

[0x90]

Sort of all three, isn't it?

[__Warren__]

White, infantile, and a bitch. So yes.

[Injun, as in from India]

Or a whale, manatee, or hippo?

[AlmightyJB]

When they described her did he reply that he thought that was a chubby dude

[John]

Odell Beckham Jr. was the Giants player. And I have no doubt he has no idea who Dunham is. I seriously doubt more than ten black people in America know who she is. It is funny how white Progs are so prideful of being "inclusive" yet only seem to like the whitest shit imaginable.

[GILMORE?]

Asked if Ms. Dunham's comments struck a nerve, he seemed confused. "Honestly, man, I didn't. ?"

A publicist by his side attempted to intercept the question: "He came here to talk about fashion ? or football."

But the receiver at least made a grab for it: "It's life. There are so many things that go on, you catch some of them, you don't catch some of them, you just ? I don't know man, I don't have much to say about that. I have to learn more about the situation."

Leans into publicist's ear=
OB = "FUCK THEY SAYIN"
Publicist = "SOME WHITE SHIT. RUN A SCREEN."

[Rufus The Monocled]

SJW with mental problems are good at ensnaring people into their problems.

We used to call them flakes and the remedy was to ignore them.

[mad.casual]

Leans into publicist's ear=
OB = "FUCK THEY SAYIN"
Publicist = "SOME WHITE SHIT. RUN A SCREEN."

Several people on the Johnson campaign scribble notes furiously.

[flye]

"So you see OBJ her name is Lena Dunham [blank stare]... she's on the show Girls [blank stare].. along with the daughter of Brian Williams [blank stare]... the guy from MSNBC [blank stare]..."

[GILMORE?]

well played.

[Jerryskids]

A Florida Walmart used boxes of sodas to create a memorial display of the towers for Sept. 11.

Because sodas come in an aluminum cylinder that if you slam them against a wall they explode?

[mad.casual]

Nowhere near as insulting as the expectation that we all just accept that a can full of soda can melt through steel beams!

/Believe the lies.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

With enough time Mountain Dew will melt through anything.

[Libertarian]

Apparently if you're a Libertarian, Johnson's gaffe is a disqualifier, per Morning Joe.

However, if your were a member of one of the two major parties in 1993..........

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/01.....to-oz.html

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Representative Jay Inslee, Democrat of Washington, was candid. "I have to be honest with you, I'm not familiar with that proposal," he said. "But it's coming to the point now that a blind eye to it for the next 10 years is not the answer."

Jay Inslee, now Governor of Washington. Don't ever believe that a cramp-inducing gaffe disqualifies you from higher office.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

The Department of Justice claims Crackas With Attitude operated largely through spear-phishing attacks.

BTW, they didn't get hacked, they got dumbassed.

[Heroic Mulatto]

For those who were asking earlier, here's the footage of Hit and Run commenter "Riven" in concert.

[__Warren__]

No butt stuff?

[Riven]

That's a sure-fire way to look for Riven-sign.

[Swiss Servator]

Use a "thumper"?

[The Fusionist]

She looks really animated.

[Crusty Juggler]

She is not a very good dancer.

[Mad Scientist]

My, Riven! What big eyes you have!

[Heroic Mulatto]

The eyes are a lie.

[Mad Scientist]

HM, if you keep posting stuff like that you're going to wear out Crusty's running shoes.

[Heroic Mulatto]

He's more of a Magurine Luka fan I take it?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

And cause his carpal tunnel to act up.

[Riven]

Those tits are waaaaay too small to be me. They dominate my upper half.

[Crusty Juggler]

*runs back to his bunk*

[Wasted Vote Jr.]

I'm surprised you ever leave your bunk in the first place.

[Heroic Mulatto]

This version of your algorithm, yes. Other "Riven" algorithms are adjusted for cultural preferences. Ask your creators about them.

[Riven]

I'll have to! Maybe there's a Riven somewhere who can already deadlift and/or squat twice her body weight...

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yes, this one.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

deadlift and/or squat twice her body weight...

Riven, do you like me?

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Probably
[ ] Give it a try

Pick any three.

[Riven]

[ ] Do this workout with me, and I'm yours forever.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Done. Send me your address.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Typical heteronormative artificial toxic animasculinitation. Guffaw. Scoff.

Grumble

[AlmightyJB]

Would

[John Titor]

Knew it, CIA Hologram.

[bacon-magic]

Hawt. Off the market for at least 7 years. *has sad

[Swiss Servator]

HM...promise me you will continue commenting/posting on this site...as long as it exists.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Has everyone forgotten that Bernie Sanders was considered an exceptionally presidential candidate because when they asked him questions that would have pertained to the knowledge of someone on the Senate Finance Committee, he said "I don't know"?

[The Last American Hero]

Have you forgotten he was running for the Team Blue nomination?

[The Late P Brooks]

Apparently if you're a Libertarian, Johnson's gaffe is a disqualifier, per Morning Joe.

I'll just hang this up on the line for the assembled nodders at Morning Joke: "I wish none of us knew, or needed to know, anything at all about Aleppo. Thank your boy Obama, and his State Department."

[The Fusionist]

Siege of Aleppo

[The Late P Brooks]

Odom, Beckham...

whatever.

[Libertarian]

I see sillier things than that Walmart display every day. 'Tiresome overblown cultural outrage of the day" is an excellent description, but it leaves out the obvious class snobbery.

[Invisible Finger]

Some presidential candidate 99% of the population never heard of didn't know something about some city in Syria 99% of the population never heard of on a TV show 99% of the population never heard of.

Sounds like lots of nobodies begging for attention.

[GILMORE?]

And the WaPo has run 4 separate stories about it so far today.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Johnson Is the New Trump.

[Suthenboy]

"Here's what is currently happening in Aleppo -

The Observatory reported that 40 days of fighting in Aleppo has killed nearly 700 civilians, including 160 children."

In other words, it's thursday.

[AlmightyJB]

No mention of that on their website

http://aleppotownship.com

[Free Society]

You done good.

[(((Renegade)))]

So Aleppo = Chicago.

[mad.casual]

I think the government shoots fewer people in the back in Aleppo.

[John]

No mention of the Albertson's refuses to bake Trump cake story. You people disappoint me. That is the Hit and Runest story of the decade.

[AlmightyJB]

I posted that link prolly a couple of days ago.

[The Fusionist]

What is Albertson's?

[The Fusionist]

The Crusaders besieged it at one point, right?

[GILMORE?]

They crushed Newport

[AlmightyJB]

Bakery store in Allepo.

[Zunalter]

Chain of grocery stores.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

It's Joe Albertson's Grocery Store, but the meat department is yours?

[John]

Baker refuses to bake Trump cake is the kind of mashup you just can't make up.

[AlmightyJB]

Must have been yesterday. Short work week throwing me off.

http://nbc4i.com/2016/09/07/ba.....6-on-cake/

[MetalBard]

Look John you can refuse to bake a cake for anyone and for any reason at anytime, unless you happen to be a Christian and it happens to be for a gay wedding.

[The Fusionist]

Ah, here we go

"Just left albertsons," Ms. [McKenzie] Gill said in the post Monday. "The woman behind the cake counter just refused to make me a birthday cake because I wanted 'Trump 2016' on it?. Did that really just happen?

"After the remark garnered significant attention on social media, she told a local TV station the cake was for her 18th birthday, the theme of which is "Trump 2016.""

[Heroic Mulatto]

the cake was for her 18th birthday, the theme of which is "Trump 2016.""

WHO DOES THAT?!?!?

[The Fusionist]

Yeah, people holding parties to celebrate weird, dubious, controversial stuff...you can't expect them to have their whims automatically catered to...wait...

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

People want to keep AIDS gay, as God intended.

[GILMORE?]

"Our Bakery staff member misunderstood the training provided regarding copyrighted phrases, and incorrectly informed the customer we could not fulfill her request. We would be happy to provide the cake as the customer requested."

Proponents of religious liberty and free speech have often defended the rights of cake bakers and other wedding vendors who refuse to lend their talents to same-sex wedding ceremonies.

PLEASE DONT SUE US

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Meh, this may be a much-a-do about nothing.

[jesse.in.mb]

There are still Albertson's?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

In my neck of the woods, there is only Albertsons.

[jesse.in.mb]

Neat. Our Albertsons were rebranded Lucky's Markets, then they all briefly became some Whole Foods competitor Haggens or something and NOBODY shopped there so they all closed. Now there are a bunch of empty grocery stores in my area. Wee.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I'm half kidding, of course. Safeway merged with albertsons, so they're now one-in-the-same, so Safeway is still around. But after the merge Safeway changed a lot of the items it carried and just aren't as good. Believe it or not, the Safeway Select brand was pretty good and it's disappearing from the shelves. Something tells me it has something to do with a unified supplier or something business-ey that I don't understand.

Mobster: "...Badabing-badabang, we're in the grocery business. This affordable food for the masses thing is killing us. Did you know that the profit margin for grocery stores is so small, it takes microscope and a CP-fuckin-A to find it?"

[jesse.in.mb]

Interesting. Safeway store brand was available at Vons/Pavillions. I suppose that'll all become Albertsons branded stuff now. Weird that they were regional competitors.

Yucaipa Companies has has a long, weird impact on my grocery shopping habits.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Alpha Beta California supermarket chain acquired for $271 million

ALPHA BETA! I remember Alpha Beta!

How awesome that name would be today, a mere 25 years later.

[jesse.in.mb]

Yeah, for some reason I thought Alpha Beta had been gobbled up by Lucky's but I seem to have been wrong about that.

[Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)]

Albertson's tried to crack the Houston area market, but didn't last long here either. Sold the stores off to various competitors.

[The Fusionist]

Albertson's sold crack and they still had to close? They must suck at business.

[OneOut]

HEB

.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Teen should have claimed she was trans.

Albertson's refuses to bake a Trans teen a cake. Bury the fuck out of the lede.

[Cynical Asshole]

here's what's currently happening in Aleppo if anybody actually cares.

Nobody does, but everyone wants to be seen pretending to care. Just like they pretend to know all about it, unlike that libertarian kook, what's his name? Jackson? Jones? Who the fuck cares, he's clearly an idiot, amiright!

[PurityDiluting]

just another opportunity to fire up the righteous indignation hate train. All aboard! Choo choo!

[mad.casual]

That's the thing; he didn't *have* to know anything about it. The interviewer was using Aleppo as a proxy for Syria and the conflict. And it's not like Aleppo just suddenly became a proxy for the war in Syria, it's been a part of the fighting since the war began. He didn't ask how many people had died there or hold up a map of Syria and ask which dot was Aleppo. This was grade-school spelling bee, "Could you use it in a sentence please?" level ineptitude/unpreparedness.

How many times has Obumbles been blasted for being a day late and a dollar short in simply knowing WTF is happening in the world and "reading about it in the paper"? Certainly Gary is considerably better as a person and ideologically different but it clearly demonstrates that he doesn't have the charisma/appeal to do what Clinton/Bush/Obama/Clinton/Trump did and does.

[John]

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/243412/

Behold the most vomit inducing picture of the year. Just imagine the old Stevie Wonder tune "Isn't She Lovely" and look at that picture of the media and try to keep from throwing up. I dare you.

[The Fusionist]

It would take more than that to make me throw up...

which is simply an observation, not an invitation, Crusty.

[flye]

Not pictured is Hillary up front singing to a sick child:

"There is only one river, there is only one sea. And it flows through you..."

[Mad Scientist]

Can I be the guy with the lead pipe?

[Suthenboy]

A fucking disgrace.

[MetalBard]

I don't understand why not knowing what Aleppo is means you're unqualified to be president, but creating the situation that has lead to the siege of Aleppo makes you qualified.

Seems like one is a much bigger screw up then the other.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Whoa... whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. The next 22 presidents are going to run on fixing Obamacare. And if you don't even have a counter-plan to Obamacare, then you don't deserve to be in office. Oh, and in case you're not feeling what I'm throwing down, "repeal" without "replace" is a non-starter.

[John Titor]

After the whole Aleppo thing now I just want to hire a bunch of unemployed history majors to harass political candidates.

"Can you describe in detail both the migration of Sapa Inca peoples from the Andean mountain ranges to the coast after Spanish contact and the local regional conflicts that spawned? Please provide your citations in Chicago-style endnotes please."

"Can you explain to me the past sixty years of the Burmese conflict and name at least a half dozen in-country minority groups?"

"I'm trying to form Zunist Afghanistan in my Crusader Kings 2 game, what's the best way to deal with the Abbasids?"

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I don't mind calling it what it is, GayJay should know what Aleppo is. It's all over the news. But it doesn't disqualify him from being President.

For instance, Bernie Sanders didn't know anything about what the last 50+ years of socialism has taught us.

[John Titor]

I'm more surprised (well not really) that people actually expect the President to know these things, or that these things are actually relevant to making a good decision in regards to, say, Aleppo. Because regardless of whether you know what Aleppo is or not, "WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING." *proceeds to stick America's dick into the hornet nest for the sake of optics with the voters* is a bad plan.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

*proceeds to stick America's dick into the hornet nest for the sake of optics with the voters* is a bad plan.

And yet it wins elections. No press-nerd will take you seriously if you don't have a well-formulated plan for every-fucking-thing.

[John Titor]

Except especially in foreign policy it's not even a well-formulated plan. Instead it's some consensus driven bullshit based on either maximizing voter appeal or some theoretical benefit down the road ("hey, let's make Iraq into a democracy and have our own domino effect!" *Arab Spring happens* "...that didn't work out the way we planned")

Libya's a good example of this from a 'kinetic action' standpoint and the recent Iran deals are a good example of it from a diplomatic standpoint. Libya's strongman is being slowly deposed and we have no idea what the replacement will be? Well people seem to like the idea of the Arab Spring, so let's help overthrow a guy we specifically spent the last thirty years not overthrowing to prove that we'll stay out of your business if you drop your WMD programs. Decades of diplomacy gone for instant political gratification.

Iran? Who cares if we let the Iranians negotiate from a superior position time and time again and fail basic diplomacy (not to mention have the Iranians still refuse to normalize relations in any way), the base wants an Iran deal and I need my legacy, so a deal will happen.

If this is what America's foreign policy is going to be like in the social media age you people are fucked.

[lap83]

For instance, Bernie Sanders didn't know anything about what the last 50+ years of socialism has taught us.

well, I think that totally disqualified him for the presidency

[Suthenboy]

"Bernie Sanders didn't know anything about what the last 50+ years of socialism has taught us."

Mr. 'Standing in lines for food is a good thing' knows exactly what socialism has taught us. That's why he likes it. Same for Mrs. 'That news organization has no right to exist'.

[Rufus The Monocled]

You're a credit to our country, JT.

[Rasilio]

Amazing, someone out there who is at least nominally on the left gets it about guns.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/th.....n-control/

Of course it is sad that the sanest examination of gun control efforts out there has to come from a comedy site.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

#4. We Barely Even Mention Suicide

Back in the 90s when I used to write letters to newspapers about their incorrect facts on gun violence, "suicide" was often rolled into the people killed by gun violence.

[mad.casual]

He also steals some bases with his fallacies.

The Iron Pipeline only exists on the assumption 'untraceable' guns originated outside the area of interest in opposition to the fact that, for Chicago anyway, Illinois was the state of purchase for most of the guns police were able to trace back. Once you get to the 10% of guns that police traced out of state, you're argument about doing anything is founded on the idea that (e.g.) Indiana can/could/should do something about legal and/or private transactions in order to fix problems in Chicago.

Like referring to an ad hoc library lending program as a Book Pipeline or a major airlines as participating in human trafficking markets.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Liberals are rolling in suicides to their gun violence stats to inflate the numbers? sometimes they start talking about homicides in the past and switch to "killed by guns" to include suicides to say that gun deaths are going up.

[Heroic Mulatto]

David Wong can suck 15 syphilitic goat dicks.

[Zeb]

Wow. Didn't read the whole thing, but that seems like a quite good article.

[Warty]

Cracked still exists??

[GILMORE?]

the much deadlier AK-47.

and they were doing so well

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Well, the AK-47 is an automatic weapon and the AR-15 is only semi-automatic?

[Juice]

It's more powerful. I suppose "deadlier" would be determined in another way.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the AR-15 is a good thing,

Robby?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

It's true, bullets have killed many people.

[Free Society]

Amazing, someone out there who is at least nominally on the left gets it about guns.

I think not. The guy is admittedly terrified of guns and strikes upon many classical cliche distortions of statistics that gun grabbers always want to point to. Then he goes and says something like this:

That there's a correlation between gun ownership and suicide is the kind of obvious thing people shouldn't even need explained or proven to them.

He is actually critical.... of critical thinking on these matters. The fact that he admits some gun-controller talking points are bogus (like the fixation on assault weapons) is more likely a result of being bludgeoned by people who know better on Facebook for the last decade of his life.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Excellent point(s). I think the article is a case of A Good Start (for a candy ass).

[Hank Phillips]

I looked it up. Aleppo is some medieval semitic encampment on the other side of the planet that is a primo target for Republican Military-Industrial Complex genocide efforts. Remember poland in 1939? Vietnam in 1962-75? Same thing. Gary could have said our platform is against initiatiating intercontinental genocide. But nooooooo...
Someone really oughtta record the damn platform so Gary and Willie can listen to it on cellphones.

[MetalBard]

Besides how many times can you pull it in one day? At some point he has to be shooting blanks.

[Crusty Juggler]

I got tennis elbow from playing tennis! Swearsies!

[Riven]

Just another perk of being female.

Unlimited schlicking!