Supreme Court Rejects Ohio Libertarians, EU Says Apples Owes Billions, U.N. Calls Burkini Bans 'Stupid': A.M. Links

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  1. The U.S. Supreme Court denied an emergency request from Ohio libertarians to list Gary Johnson and Bill Weld on the Buckeye-State ballot as Libertarian Party …

    Maybe for the better.

    1. Hello.

      “The U.S. Supreme Court denied an emergency request from Ohio libertarians to list Gary Johnson and Bill Weld on the Buckeye-State ballot as Libertarian Party candidates this November, rather than Independents.”

      Don’t they know we have a ‘libertarian moment’ deadline to hit?

    2. No kidding – isn’t it the big thing to simply identify as an “independent”?

    3. Good morning.

      In the last 24 hours, I’ve gotten into arguments with both of my best friends from High School. One of whom is a conspiracy theorist who’d make Alex Jones blush, and the other is the ultimate police fellator (the “if you don’t like the police, next time you’re in trouble call a crackhead!” type).

      And this is why Facebook is mankind’s worst invention.

      1. Bet the Alex Jones friend makes more sense.

        1. He usually does, until he starts posting stuff about Israel controlling the world or vaccine or chemtrail conspiracies.

          1. Ok, but where does he go off the rails?

            1. At Trenton. Duh.

              I thought this was common knowledge?

              1. Okay, mister, if you’re so smart, then please explain why Paul barefoot on the cover of Abbey Road? And what else could “A Day in the Life” be referring to?

                1. yea and it actually explains Wings. I might be sold on this one.

                  1. It’s the best theory.

                  2. If Silly Love Song doesn’t put the nail in the coffin, I don’t know what does!!!

          2. Since I’m an airplane geek, I’ll always point out interesting contrails. The squeeze says “You said it wrong again. It’s CHEMtrails. Chemtrails.” (he’s joking – I wouldn’t get nekkid for a chemtrail guy.)

            1. I wouldn’t get nekkid for a chemtrail guy

              *blocks Kristen*

              1. Your loss! 😛

            2. Pics…

              A fellow aeroplane enthusiast? Hooray!

              Ever set up an ADS-B tracker?

              1. Nah…never gone so far as to have my own equipment. I listen to LiveATC and use Flightaware compulsively. Someday I want to host a feed on LiveATC, but they have DCA pretty well covered.

                I mostly ask my friend to send me their flight info when they’re traveling so I can be the first to know if they’re gonna crash 😉

                1. It was amazing how easy and simple it was to get up and running on Flightaware with their Raspberry Pi based setup.

                  The antenna is a cheapo dipole set in a west-facing window. For such a little effort I get a lot of flights (of course being in the Cleveland Center airspace, it’s pretty busy), and routinely get aircraft out by Ann Arbor (I’m in Akron, OH) and Columbus. The distance to the east is limited by the LOS nature of ADS-B, but still surprising.

                  If I simply moved that antenna to the roof, I’d be doing a great job (until it rusted out). The roof-mountable antennas and bespoke setups people have come up with look to be outstanding. Having a partial academic background in antennas might overcome my laziness one day.

              2. I also want to be a good enough photog to get on Airliners.net. They’re very strict about submissions. But they have some fucking amazing pics. Well, lots of amazing pics.

      2. Anyone who talks about anything other than get-togethers and cat pictures on FB is just asking for it.

        1. This. I went back on Facebook for a week but ultimately deactivated it again. The amount of narcissists who think anyone gives a shit what they think about anything is astounding.

          1. Oh, you’re friends with my mom, too?

            1. Who isn’t?

            2. I’m not even friends with my own mom, much less OTHER people’s moms.

  2. Why we need more women in U.S. police forces.

    So then people are browbeat into not complaining about the police for fear of being sexist?

    1. Would have gotten a golf clap had it been phrased better.

      1. Yeah, well you forgot to wash the pots.

      2. I don’t know why everyone’s always rushing to be second. Take the time to craft your comment. People will wait for quality.

        1. Why waste effort on quality. This is Hit & Run

          1. No further entries…you’ve won the H&R Motto contest.

    2. Do we really need more women using a radio, a computer, and fixing their makeup while driving a patrol car eight hours a day?

      1. You’re not familiar with female cops are you? The ones I’ve seen are bull dykes with huge chips on their shoulders and just itching for an opportunity to prove they can kick your ass just as well as the manliest man that ever lived. Think a ‘roided-up Rosie O’Donnell on PCP and you’re wearing a Trump T-shirt.

        1. Ugh. Stereotyping is so lame.

      2. ^This, people is how you earn a [golf clap].

      3. Crusty from the top ropes.

  3. The European Union says Apple owes $14.5 billion in back taxes to Ireland.

    I heard this on the radio this morning. Not once did anyone mention that, maybe, fucking incentives matter.

    1. This actually shows incredible restraint on the part of the EU. Apple has way more than $14.5B in cash on hand.

      1. The key to a good extortion racket is to make it easier to just pay than to fight back.

    2. “Oh, look at that big pile of cash You should show some respect. We’re just gonna dip our beak.”

      1. I was just thinking about how I could think up a really offensive joke about Irish mafiosi.

        1. They’re too drunk to extort you?

          1. I wanted to work “pot o’ gold” into the joke somehow.

        2. Archer already did it

  4. The European Union says Apple owes $14.5 billion in back taxes to Ireland.

    That bite just got bigger in the logo.

    1. Chicken feed for big fruit.

    2. “Government do take a bite, don’t she?”

    3. Irexit time?

      1. I think Ireland still has the one of the lowest corporate tax rates. In fact, I haven’t read the article, but this isn’t the EU trying to make Ireland look less desirable, is it?

        1. They’re also claiming Apple got lower taxes than other companies in Ireland.

          1. Government taxing one different than they tax another? Would they charge a poor man a different income tax rate than a rich man or impose a sales tax on clothing but not food or tax income used to buy furniture but not income used to pay the interest on a home mortgage? That’s insane. I’ve never heard of a government not just imposing a flat tax that applies equally to everybody and everything at the same rate.

            1. I’ve certainly never heard of any American jurisdiction luring targeted businesses with sweetheart deals.

  5. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    People? They’re the worst.

    1. Ugh, i literally can’t even.

    2. Holy cow, I had no idea I was a millennial.

      1. Apparently, the issue is that they prefer automated fast food kiosks because they hate talking to real employees. You know, just like every other human being on the planet.

        1. Self-checkout kiosks are proof that God exists and he loves me.

          1. Yes, clerk in the empty checkout aisle next to the bank of busy self-checkouts, I see you waving at me. No, I am not going to acknowledge you or that you are open and empty. I am going to wait patiently for the next self-checkout to open up. 30 seconds well spent to avoid having to deal with you.

            1. Thirty seconds? That’s the time to get the self-checkout to scan and register one item. That doesn’t include the number of times it complains because you moved your bags around to keep them orderly.

            2. 30 seconds? Hmm, most people are pretty slow in the self check-out.

              1. Sure, but there’s always multiple self-checkouts. One will open up sooner rather than later.

        2. I’ve had to start using the regular grocery store clerks again to check out, the self checkout is too long.

    3. I’m definitely not a millennial – but god do I ever hate dealing with people.

      Of course the gods laughed when I went into computer science and ended up doing internal customer support.

      1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

      2. If you hate dealing with people, you’re doing it wrong. I like dealing with people – that’s why they know to stay the fuck away from me when they see me coming.

      3. I would say that the H&R wing of the libertarian movement can accurately be summed up by Bill Hicks’ “people who hate people party” bit.

      4. +1 turning it off and on again.

        1. (that was a joke, by the way)

          1. Because sometimes people tell me my jokes are offensive.

            Offensive – me?

    4. I was hating people before these people were even born.

    5. To be fair, I can’t handle dealing with people at Big Boy restaurants, either.

      1. Ah, but which Big Boy? Bob’s, Frisch’s, or Elby’s?

  6. The United Nations office of human rights called French bans on “burkini” swimsuits a “stupid reaction”

    HATE SPEECH!

    1. But arrogant delivery of opinion is the only thing the French understand.

      1. U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein thinks burkini bans are stupid? I didn’t see that coming.

      2. That and wine are their only net exports.

    2. yes, the United Nations Office of “human rights” is a font of hate speech.

    3. “Well, I hated it!”

    4. Sometimes something is true even though the UN says it’s true.

      Not very often, but sometimes.

      They shoot off at the mouth so often, they have to say something semi-accurate a few times.

  7. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    They’ve watched Howie Mandell’s game show and have collectively decided #NoDeal

    1. This is what freaks me out. The only memory I have of him is a surgical glove on his head.

      1. What about bobby’s world?

        1. -1 Amazing Live Sea Monkeys

  8. Gene Wilder Kept Alzheimer’s Private So Kids Wouldn’t Associate Willy Wonka With An Adult Disease

    Since the passing of acting legend Gene Wilder last night tributes have poured in for the actor’s comedy genius and acting ability on screen.

    At 83 years old, and still remembered fondly for his performance as Willy Wonka as well as in movies such as Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, his passing came as a surprise to fans as he’d chosen to keep his ill-health private.

    In a statement issued by Wilder’s nephew, Jordan Walker-Pearlman, it has been revealed the legendary actor wanted to keep his Alzheimer’s a private matter so that children who watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would not associate his character with an adult disease.

    class act there.

    1. Out of all the famous people deaths in 2016, Wilder’s is hitting me the hardest. Grew up idolizing the man.

      1. I loved the work he did with Mel Brooks.

      2. Yeah, this one really saddened me to hear. Wilder was fucking great.

        1. He was always endearing.

      3. Really depressing, he was a joy to watch.

    2. Maybe he just forgot.

      (too soon?)

      1. [starts to clap, then pauses with vacant stare on face]

        1. You guys are savage.

          1. It’s a coping mechanism, Flanders. That sort of thing runs in my family. It’s a terrible way to die.

            1. Horrified the shit out of the people at the hospital when it came time to pull the plug on my sister and the organ harvesters were going through their checklist of questions – “Did she smoke?” My brother’s first reaction – “Yeah, but she quit. About an hour ago.” My immediate response to him – “You don’t know that – she could be smoking right now. But that’s between God and Satan to decide”.

        2. Harsh, totally harsh.

          I approve.

      2. *kicks BigT in the gnads*

        1. Draymond, is that you?

          1. you’d never survive in my family

      3. *rolls BigT down to the blueberry rendering room*

    3. It is a horrible disease.

    4. I don’t know much about him but Willy Wonka gave me nightmares as a kid. Oompa loompas are like scary little clowns.

      1. Especially when they harvest the children. I swear, It was just WIlly Wonka 2: Escape of a full-sized oompa loompa.

    5. This is a lovely anecdote, but I thought people were talking about him having Alzheimer’s a couple years ago. Maybe it was just speculation at the time, but I remember seeing something about him and thinking, “Wilder is still alive? Oh, but he has Alzheimer’s, that’s why you don’t see him.”

  9. Washington, D.C., meanwhile, is fighting with Donald Trump over taxes on the luxury hotel he’s set to open here.

    Wouldn’t it be hilarious if this was the whole reason he was running in the first place?

    1. Hmm. Wonder what H’s real reason is ….

      1. It was that or prison.

  10. Washington, D.C., meanwhile, is fighting with Donald Trump over taxes on the luxury hotel he’s set to open here.

    When did D.C. get a Mexican solicitor general?

    1. They’ve been a kleptocracy as long as I can remember. Always shaking down businesses.

    2. You’d think they could have learned from NYC’s fight with Trump over the taxes he wasn’t paying on the luxury hotel there. In fact, you’d think anybody would know better than to expect Trump to pay any bill without a fight. He didn’t get rich by paying bills. He got rich by “negotiating” just how little of his bills he was going to pay.

      But, as I’ve said before – I’ll applaud even Donald Trump if he ain’t paying his “fair share” of taxes. I’ll pay my fair share of taxes when the IRS comes to me and asks me what I think is a fair share and we can negotiate a mutually agreeable figure. A fair price isn’t just whatever one side says it is. Especially when that one side happens to be armed and authorized to shoot you in the head if you don’t cough up the dough.

  11. Why we need more women in U.S. police forces.

    We’d only get irrationally tazed only a couple days out of the month?

    1. Only in Baton Rouge.

  12. Bolt from the blue: UPS driver shot in freak crossbow accident

    The bolt went through his upper right arm and lodged in his right chest, according to Autauga County Sheriff’s Office reports. The driver was taken to Baptist South Medical Center in Montgomery in stable condition with “non-life-threatening injuries,” the reports read. The driver was traveling along Goodson Road, also known as County Road 6, at about 12:15 p.m. Thursday, the reports show.

    The truck was in motion when he was stuck. Investigators have charged Ronald Curtis Gantt, 55, of the 900 block of Goodson Road, with assault in the case, records show. Gantt was target practicing in his front yard at the time. Gantt apparently overshot the target, and the bolt flew into the delivery truck’s cab. Gantt stayed with the driver until an ambulance arrived, reports show. Investigators have deemed the incident an accident, but are charging Gantt with assault due to the reckless nature of his actions, the reports read.

    1. Something something intent something Hillary defense something denied.

    2. Are you saying that target practice in the front yard is a bad idea?

    3. How many tragedies like this will it take before our politicians finally grow a pair and enact common sense crossbow control? How many????

    4. Investigators have deemed the incident an accident, but are charging Gantt with assault due to the reckless nature of his actions

      Sucks not to be a cop.

  13. “Cosmic rays increasing”

    http://tinyurl.com/za2yrd4

    Hence, Trump vs Hildog.

    1. Meh. So far, I see “we started measuring new things 15 years ago and this is what the current correlation looks like.” Could be. I’m not going to go build an ark.

      1. Well it is kind of amazing how little importance the climate scientologists place on solar activity in regards to it’s relationship to the climate.

        1. The giant energy source with huge output variation? Forget that. Its hard to model.

  14. Climate change predicted to halve coffee-growing area that supports 120m people

    Climate change is going to halve the area suitable for coffee production and impact the livelihoods of more than 120 million of the world’s poorest people who rely on the coffee economy, according to a new report by the Climate Institute, commissioned by Fairtrade Australia & New Zealand.

    The report findings follow stark warnings by some of the world’s biggest coffee producers, including Starbucks and Lavazza, who have said climate change is posing a severe risk to the industry.

    Damnit.

    1. When all else fails, Lavazza is my go to espresso.

    2. Take heart Crusty, climate scientists have been dead wrong so many times this probably means a bumper coffee crop for years.

      1. Of course, coffee prices are already relatively low:

        http://futures.tradingcharts.com/chart/CF/M

    3. This might be the story that finally makes me turn off the ac.

      1. Me, too. Sometime in October.

    4. the Climate Institute, commissioned by Fairtrade Australia & New Zealand.

      smh

      1. “There are things we coffee drinkers can do to assist,” said John Connor, the chief executive of the Climate Institute.

        Connor said consumers should only buy brands that “provide a fair return to farmers and their communities while helping to build their capacity to adapt to climate change”.

        Spend more money on overpriced coffee, or prove you don’t care about the poors or the climate. That’s just good science.

        1. I’m pretty sure none of those things will save the planet.

        2. I suppose someone named John Connor would be an expert in apocalyptic scenarios.

      2. Surely you’re not accusing them of rent-seeking, Swiss! I see no reason to doubt the word of these fine folks.

    5. Apparently there are no cooler places on Earth.

      Adapt and overcome.

      But be ready to adapt to the cooling that is coming.

    6. Yeah, because their predictions of DOOM! have been so accurate over the last 20 years.

    7. Seems to me that global warming would INCREASE the area suitable for coffee production. But hey, I’m biased — not like the folks at the Climate Institute.

    8. But would that mean other areas of the world currently too cold or whatever for coffee production would then be suitable for it, thus giving other poor people a chance to make money out of my caffeine addiction?

      1. Well, sure, but those areas wouldn’t be under the purview of Fairtrade Australia & New Zealand, so we must divert lots of money to fix it, right away.

    9. Extreme temperatures and unusual high-altitude rains have also sparked costly waves of pests and disease through coffee farms.

      Climate or weather?

    10. But won’t other areas get warmer and become suitable climates for coffee production?

    11. And yet, all those mountains in the southern US Sierras, and maybe the Appalachains would suddenly support coffee…

  15. “I’ve actually seen young people waiting in line to use the kiosk where there’s a person standing behind the counter, waiting on nobody.”

    “Yep, they’re *that* retarded.”

    1. Ugh, whatever. I’m not dealing with that guy.

    2. Generally the wife and I can self check out significantly faster than the person at the kiosk will as we divide and conquer (I scan and pay, she bags) where as the employee will scan each item, slowly scan my card wait for me to finish paying then bag at random.

      “Raw chicken? that’ll be great with these apples” “Five 2liter Bottles? psh why use more than one bag, might as well put the BBQ sauce in there” etc.

      You know there might be a bit of method to the madness, but also once something’s habit, it’s habit.

      1. I never go through the self-check because it doesn’t matter what I have or how little I have, there’s always something the machine has a problem scanning and I have to wait for the cashier to come over and straighten it out anyway. Might as well just start by going to the cashier instead of having to wait for the cashier to come to me.

        I do prefer to bag my own stuff, though – there’s some sort of trick they do whereby they can give you more bags than you have items and yet when you look in the bags each one has something in it. How the hell do I walk up to the counter with seven items and walk away with eight bags? And why? I carried it up here in two hands, it’ll all fit in one bag. Two if one of the items is a leaky bottle of Drano or a bowling ball.

        1. Eight bags is mildly inconvenient. Four bags, two of which don’t make it to the car, is a mess.

          When I worked as a bag boy in high school, I remember some regular customers bitching about me bagging stuff in too many bags one time. They didn’t realize that we had just gotten a new shipment of bags that were half as thick as the prior batches, and I had already split 5 bags that day.

        2. I also get annoyed by the too-many-bags phenomenon. Dude, you double-bagged one item all by itself. The item has a handle on it.

  16. The United Nations office of human rights called French bans on “burkini” swimsuits a “stupid reaction” that is “highly discriminatory” and should be repealed.

    Those cops that responded to the Henry Gates situation must have been involved.

    1. Look, BT. I am just going to get this over with now. For a lot of these posts, not just this one…

      *narrows gaze*

    2. You can always try a beer summit between the French and the Muslims.

      1. Why would the French come to a beer summit?

        [Insert joke about the French surrendering to Germany]

        1. Oh, Muslims, I get it.

          Yeah, tea and mead summit.

          1. I remember hearing about a summit involving mead, but the mead was all runny.

  17. Man Broke Into Adult Novelty Shop, Made Off With Sex Toys, Top Half Of $2000 Mannequin

    Investigators allege that Ellis Doyle, 26, broke into Cirilla’s, a shop in Elyria, around 2:45 AM Saturday and stole several items before leaving. Surveillance video shows the intruder then sought to re-enter the business through the front doors, but they had locked behind him.

    Doyle, cops say, came back into the building “through the roof and ceiling over the cash register.” During his second pass through the store, Doyle “walks around the store again and then walks over to the ‘Eva’ mannequin and strips the clothing off of it and takes the top half of the mannequin and takes a blond and burgundy wig off a display and places it on its head and walks out the front door.”

    Thanks to the surveillance video, police were able to identify Doyle, who was collared on a breaking and entering charge. Doyle, who was arraigned yesterday on the felony count, is free on $5000 bond.

    1. Doyle, who was collared…

      Was it the spiky sort or the Hello Kitty(tm) sort?

    2. What a weirdo. He took the TOP half of the mannequin. I guess that’s not surprising, since he “sought to re-enter the business through the FRONT door…..”

      1. “Fiberglass Titty Fuck” were going to be huge before the lead singer died in a car accident. They opened for Pearl Jam in 1991.

    3. the top half of the mannequin

      You should always take the bottom half.

  18. ENB: Typo alert. Headline reads “Apples” referring to the company “Apple.” California rape link refers to “Standord University” which I assume to be a typo for “Stanford.”

    1. Hey, i got my Bachelor o Farts from Standord!

    2. Are you Hungry For Apples?

    3. How you like them Apple?

  19. Unemployed Italians Lead Europe in Abandoning Job Hunt: Chart

    Going from the final quarter of 2015 through March of this year, 37 percent of unemployed Italians gave up their job search, while only 13 percent landed new work and a full half found their status unchanged. On the opposite end of the scale, very few Greeks — just 1 percent — gave up their job hunt while only 4 percent found new employment in the economically hard-pressed nation.

    That’s a spicy meatball!

    1. I read an article a while ago about the CEO of Fiat (a Toronto native) explaining to the union they needed to work longer and harder in order to make Fiat stronger. He wanted to bring pride to the company too.

      They refused.

      Very restrictive labour markets in Italy make it almost impossible to do what’s necessary to spur growth and create jobs.

      1. A few years back, on NPR of all places, i heard the owner of a small clothing store in Italy being interviewed. She said that the job was killing her, because she could only afford one employee and had to cover all other duties herself. Her employee got paid the equivalent of $17k a year, which ended up costing the store owner $38k once taxes and benefits were figured in.

        Even the NPR hosts were like, “Jesus, that’s insane.”

        1. And the problem is it’s very hard to fire people there.

          A person earning $15 an/hr here costs me $18 in reality. Across 10 employees ‘social benefits’ adds up.

          And now the Liberals (who lie to our faces they’re for small business – which they’re not because they’re lousy progressives) just added to my cost structure through the Canadian Pension Plan.

      2. They need to relocate production to someplace that is happy to have them and will treat them properly.

    2. That’s one way to reduce unemployment, since those people won’t be counted as unemployed.

      1. Which is complete bullshit. The default assumption should be that a man needs to work. Not working = unemployed.

    3. EU continues making case for Brexit.

  20. to list Gary Johnson and Bill Weld on the Buckeye-State ballot as Libertarian Party candidates this November, rather than Independents.

    Hey Welch, how did The Independents do in the Buckeye State demo? This may not be a bad thing.

    1. There were only the 23 of us who watched that show, and I don’t think any of us were from Ohio.

      1. I watched the show and I’m from Ohio. Not far enough from, but still from.

  21. Why Chinese women don’t use tampons

    tampons are incredibly rare in China? only 2% of Chinese women use them; in Europe, the figure is as high as 70%. Of my female friends who have lived abroad, many aren’t endeared towards these white cotton sticks, either. Not a single person I know uses them.

    here is a general belief that tampons are not good for women’s health. For younger women, there has traditionally been a fear that tampons will break the hymen. But now, with more than 70% of Chinese women having sex before marriage, virginity is no longer a huge consideration. Remaining qualms come down to lack of “tampon culture”, as well as any education on how to use them properly.

    Tampon culture. Good morning.

    1. Huh. I always thought it was the Tampon Agenda (like the homos). Did not realize it was Tampon Culture.

      The more you know.

      1. Tampon Culture Appropriation.

    2. Red China is in the grip of Big Underwear.

    3. “Honorable Red is visiting, see? I can’t have sex”

  22. Word Salad Tuesday

    Furthermore, Weil’s piece and others compound an obsession with an appearance-to-performance pipeline into a narrative that makes it clear exactly what it is about “diverse bodies”?whether they are muscular, fat, or stocky?that we’re happy to celebrate: their efficiency. When I read a piece like Weil’s or the tweets catalogued in this one from the Independent, I can’t help but feel like I’m being jolted into a Lean-in Feminism that posits “hard work” as a validator of difference. Non-normative bodies that do not (or cannot) do hard work?in this case, impressive athletics?are effectively undermined by this particular body positivity framework.

    1. Wow. Thanks for sharing. We are all now dumber for it.

    2. Let me guess, fat chick hates athletes for making people dislike fat chicks.

    3. Her mug suggests, ‘Word salad expert’.

      1. She sounds like she shies away from the salad. Seems like more of an all-you-can-eat buffet type.

    4. Putting ironic quotes around “hard work” – that’s the can-do American spirit!

  23. Florida millionaire releases surveillance video of his ex-fiancee ‘beating herself up’ after she claimed he attacked her
    Scott Mitchell has released the footage of Mary Hunt hitting herself
    Follows her claims that he abused her during their bitter legal battle
    Businessman has accused her of stealing $2.1million worth of jewelry
    He called off the engagement to a furious Hunt last summer
    The blonde said he left her covered in bruises and gave her black eyes
    But his attorney says the video is evidence her injuries were self-inflicted

    …’There is no evidence that he ever beat her,’ he added. ‘This video now demonstrates that she is striking herself in the same area of the face and head that they allege Scott struck her.’…

    1. She told the TV station in June: ‘There were so many times when I wanted to give up, but I couldn’t do it anymore and I think about how much he would have wanted this.’

      Say *what*?

    2. Is that Prince’s house?

    3. She’s from Gloucester, VA. That was his first mistake.

      1. My cousin married a girl from Gloucester. Yeah, he’s not married to her anymore.

      2. Rural innocence and purity is vastly overrated. They learn quickly.

      3. Must have been a ‘guinea,’ or local water-favoring redneck. Most Gloucester people seem rather normal to me otherwise.

    4. you buried the lede:

      Mitchell told police he received a drunken call from her father around a week later
      During the conversation he said Michael Hunt told him that UPS had delivered a box of jewels to his home on Pirates Point, Virginia.
      Hunt (mugshot pictured) was charged with grand theft in October. The lawsuit is claiming costs to recover the stolen items plus damages for a total of $4million
      In a recording, provided by Mitchell, Hunt says: ‘These are bracelets, these are diamonds, they’re every ? thing.’
      At that point, the millionaire said he checked his safe room and realized his jewels and gold – which he said he had bought from struggling jewelers during the recession in 2008 – were missing.

      1. Pirates Point is firmly within the Guinea part of Gloucester. I’d put money she’s at least part Guinea. They’re known for making your average white trash seem like Victorian snobs.

        1. I dated a girl from Gloucester in College for a couple of months mostly because she could buy me beer, she was kind of crazy and would be about the same age as the women featured, different name though,

          1. The Guineamen are an interesting tidbit of American history. They include a lot of descendants of Hessians who were quartered by Loyalists during the Revolutionary War. They had a notoriously insular culture for centuries and were locally known for inbreeding. Up until the 70’s, the sheriff’s office wouldn’t even bother investigating murders in that part of the county simply because they knew nobody would talk.

          2. More to the point… “glauchester” or “gloster”?

            1. “Glaw stir.”

            2. Buddy was from Glouchester Mass.

              Glew-STAH.

      2. Mike Hunt told him that?

      3. YOU buried the lede: There’s a real life dude named “Mike Hunt” in the story.

        1. I worked with a Michael Hunt who used the company credit card to rent a mistress in NC while he was working there. When the company fired him and his wife kicked him out, last I heard, he was heading back that way. I can only imagine how bitterly disappointed he was to find out that her love was only as strong as the money stream.

    5. If there weren’t a video, this guy would be hanged.

      1. ^This. Can anyone find any feminist spin claiming she’s, somehow, the victim?

        1. Clearly this is merely the somatic expression of the internalized abuse she’s suffered in this relationship.

          /Third Wave

  24. Dubai ruler makes surprise visit to government offices – and finds nobody at work

    This is the awkward moment the ruler of Dubai walks into civil service offices for an unannounced spot check – and finds nobody doing any work.

    Sheik Mohammed visited several government departments on Sunday morning – a normal working day in United Arab Emirates – and found several unoccupied desks that should have been populated by senior officers.

    Video taken by Khalifa Saeed and tweeted by the government’s media office show the Sheik walking alone through a luxurious corner office with only a portrait of himself on the wall for company.

    With no one to talk to, he nonchalantly picks up a book and begins flicking through it.

    The message said: “Mohammed Bin Rashid on a field inspection tour in Dubai this morning.”

    As a result of the surprise inspection, nine high-powered officials have been ordered to retire by the strict leader.

    1. Lucky they didn’t end up dead.

      1. Sheikh Mo ain’t a killer. Say what you will about his autocratic rule, he’s generally only interested in doing good business and not looking like an ass while doing it.

        (And this whole thing is so unsurprising, it’s almost funny that this is the first documented incident that anyone’s aware of – Sunday mornings are not known for their busy-ness, even in the private sector in the UAE. Their whole philosophy on the workweek is very…European.)

    2. At least the U.S. federal bureaucrats are smart enough to sit at their desks and play solitaire or watch porn.

  25. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    Maybe is has to do with the employees at fast food places, not the customers…

    1. Yeah, I would love to avoid interacting with the employees, who invariably fuck up your order no matter how slowly and clearly you tell them what you want.

      1. They deserve $15/hr though.

        1. Yeah, even though they can’t even get a simple order correct, nor can they manage to get a slice of cheese and a burger onto the general vicinity of the fucking bun.

        2. No – they have a RIGHT to $15/hour. Paying them less than that is just pure and outright oppression. Basically slavery. Has nothing to do with their job performance.

          1. Your comment compounds an obsession with a brains-to-performance pipeline into a narrative that makes it clear exactly what it is about “diverse work ethics”?whether they are lazy, stupid, or indifferent?that we’re happy to celebrate: their efficiency.

            1. Your comment brings a tear to me eye. +1, sir, +1.

            2. Dude this is great. Nailed it perfectly.

  26. The Black Community Is Oppressed? Unless Trump Says So
    …”For [African Americans], as for most Americans, crime is at historic lows, and cities are safer than they’ve ever been,” Slate’s Jamelle Bouie wrote of Trump’s pitch, which he saw as thinly-veiled racism.

    The New York Times ran an in-depth piece last week saying the speech offended those living in black America. According to The Times, life is great for the vast majority of black Americans who can enjoy safe neighborhoods free of dire poverty.

    Hillary Clinton echoed this sentiment in her “alt right” speech Thursday. Clinton said it was “ignorant” of Trump to focus on these negatives when black communities are thriving….

    1. This is why black folks in places like Detroit, Baltimore, Chicago, and D.C. will continue to vote 99% Democrat – so they can keep “thriving”.

      1. This is why black folks in places like Detroit, Baltimore, Chicago, and D.C. will continue to vote 120% Democrat – so they can keep “thriving”.

        FTFY

    2. Yeah, one weird consequence of the Trump candidacy is that Democrats are now constantly asserting things like “America is great” and “Black people don’t have it so bad.”

      Strange, really.

    3. The Democrats go from being right for the wrong reasons, to being wrong for the wrong reasons.

    4. I can only assume from the outcry that the Dem internal polling says that this is murdering projected black turnout. I don’t think it will drive that many to Trump, but all he needs to do is make them bitter enough to stay home.

    5. Hey, count your blessings – I saw a piece on CNN explaining why Carrier isn’t necesssarily the bad guys Trump says they are just because they’re moving their Indiana operation to Mexico, that there actually are good economic reasons for it. But I’m sure CNN would have been defending Carrier even if Trump weren’t attacking them.

      Of course, CNN was interviewing some of Carrier’s union employees in their union hall and actually showed the banner on the wall that reads “A worker voting for a Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders”, but they had no comment on that as the matter of unions had absolutely nothing to do with why Carrier would rather have a plant in Mexico than Indiana. Or the kid bemoaning the loss of a job he got right out of high school that paid twice as much as he could make anywhere else drew no comment as to why jobs that can be done by kids right out of high school maybe don’t need to be remunerated with salaries twice what they can get anywhere else.

    6. Read it and weep Cytotoxic:

      Trump leads by 3%

  27. ColoradoCare could come up billions of dollars short, independent analysis finds

    But the analysis concludes the system ? which would be known as ColoradoCare ? would fall deeper and deeper into the red as the cost of health care climbs over the next decade.

    The only way to make up for that deficit would be to raise taxes, cut benefits or reduce the amount paid to doctors, the analysis argues.

    “We see ColoradoCare as achieving its short-term goals,” said Michele Lueck, the president and CEO of the Colorado Health Institute. She added, “Our doubts really come in in terms of the long-term viability.”

    ColoradoCare is on the ballot as Amendment 69. It would replace most private health insurance in the state ? including Colorado’s Obamacare exchange ? with universal coverage overseen by an elected 21-member board. Payroll taxes on workers and companies would raise the money to fund the program. People could opt to keep private insurance, but they would still have to pay the taxes.

    try try try again…

    1. ColoradoCare is on the ballot as Amendment 69. It would replace most private health insurance in the state ? including Colorado’s Obamacare exchange ? with universal coverage overseen by an elected 21-member board. Payroll taxes on workers and companies would raise the money to fund the program. People could opt to keep private insurance, but they would still have to pay the taxes.

      And if it fails, it’s obvious the right top men weren’t in charge! It’ll be perfect; they can just blame that when the state is bankrupted and people are leaving the state for medical care.

      Also, nice.

      1. Payroll taxes on workers

        No such thing. It’s an income tax.

      2. it’s obvious the right top men weren’t in charge

        When are bottom men going to be in charge? Or are we strict missionaries?

        Asking for a friend.

    2. Colorado is truly f***ed thanks to progressives.

      The Second Amendment has already been attacked there.

      TABOR is going to be threatened in a decade.

      It was one of my dream states to live in, and now I have to rethink.

      1. Come to New Mexico. We’re too poor for this bullshit.

      2. I bought property there a few years ago and am not ready to give up. While this situation worries me, it does seem like there is still a lot of opposition to this. I might just have to keep my residency out of state and live there part time.

    3. What a shock. The first thing I asked when I looked at the ColoradoCare support website was, where are the financial analyses that would pay for this?

      This might actually end up losing out because the Front Range is a huge employer for the federal government, and I haven’t found anywhere that indicates that ColoradoCare would be any better than their own health insurance plans. So they’d take a 2.5% hit to their paycheck for two healthcare plans, one of which they’d never use. Can’t see them supporting that with the relatively low pay increases they’ve had since sequestration kicked in.

      1. I was told ColoradoCare was a socialist miracle that had ended teenage pregnancy and induced Utopia.

        1. Utopia? Odd choice for a baby name but whatever.

    4. The only way to make up for that deficit would be to raise taxes, cut benefits or reduce the amount paid to doctors

      The word you’re looking for is “and”.

      Which would make this plan viable for another 3 to 4 years.

  28. Can We Save Venice Before It’s Too Late?

    Tourism is tearing apart Venice’s social fabric, cohesion and civic culture, growing ever more predatory. The number of visitors to the city may rise even further now that international travelers are avoiding destinations like Turkey and Tunisia because of fears of terrorism and unrest. This means that the 2,400 hotels and other overnight accommodations the city now has no longer satisfy the travel industry’s appetites. The total number of guest quarters in Venice’s historic center could reach 50,000 and take it over entirely.

    Just along the Grand Canal, Venice’s main waterway, the last 15 years have seen the closure of state institutions, judicial offices, banks, the German Consulate, medical practices and stores to make way for 16 new hotels.

    1. You know where else they closed the German Consulate?

      1. Epcot?

      2. Benghazi?

      3. Vienna? Prague? Paris?

        Ah…..London!

    2. I invite all the engineers here on this site to read into how engineers are trying to save Venice.

      It’s quite fascinating.

      1. 1. Build a wayback machine.
        2. Go back to 421, and stop them from founding a city on a fucking swamp in a lagoon.

        1. But they were fleeing hordes!

        2. They had a few good reasons as I recall.

          1. Thousands, actually.

        3. Does anyone know when it was they Venice almost packed up and moved to Constantinople?

          It seems like they dodged a bullet there.

          1. Does anyone know when it was they Venice almost packed up and moved to Constantinople?

            Yes. It was between Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood (Venice), and Assassin’s Creed Revelations (Constantinople).

    3. Venice is one of the more highly overrated tourist traps in the world. Nice to see. Once.

      1. Here we go with the over rated clans.

        It’s one of the most unique places in the world with incredible architecture and equally unique history.

        Hello.

        1. /wink.

          1. “most unique”? AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

            1. The most one-of-a-kind, of course!

              /this bugs me as well. Unique cannot have a qualifier.

              1. Fine. Uniquest.

        2. Ok. I still never want to go back there.

      2. I’d rather go to The Venetian anyday.

      3. The guy on roller skates, channeling Jimi Hendrix, is pretty cool, as long as you don’t get close enough to smell him.

    4. Reading that article has made me stupider. The problem is too many tourists, the population has plunged from 176k to 56k, and they still are considering selling huge chunks of artwork to keep their finances afloat? And you think the solution to this is to remove all the tourists?

      The stupid, it burns.

    5. Tourism is […] growing ever more predatory

      Oh, NYT – never change.

      1. “If it wasn’t for these damned tourists, Times Square would still be the vibrant shithole that it used to be!”

      2. I should have realized that a leftist rag was behind this article through the summary above. But I mindlessly clicked on the link and now have contributed ever so infinitesimally to NYT ad revenue. Damn.

    6. Nobody goes to Venice any more, there’s too many tourists there.

    7. Fuck no! Let the rotten birthplace of Satan Dondolo die!

      Sack of Constantinople 1204, Never Forget!

    8. Commerce? How does it work?

  29. California has updated its rape laws in response to the case involving Standord University swimmer Brock Turner.

    Section 1: If Brock Turner is any way involved, you’ve been raped.

    Section 2: Stanford University is hereby to be known as Standord University.

    1. Section 2: Stanford University is hereby to be known as Standord University.

      Herbert Hoover hardest hit.

    2. Shitlord University.

  30. The United Nations office of human rights called French bans on “burkini” swimsuits a “stupid reaction” that is “highly discriminatory” and should be repealed.

    Sounds legit.

    Current Membership of the Human Rights Council, 1 January – 31 December 2016

    Albania 2017
    Algeria 2016
    Bangladesh 2017
    Belgium 2018
    Bolivia (Plurinational State of) 2017
    Botswana 2017
    Burundi 2018
    China 2016
    Congo 2017
    C?te d’Ivoire 2018
    Cuba 2016
    Ecuador 2018
    El Salvador 2017
    Ethiopia 2018
    France 2016
    Georgia 2018
    Germany 2018
    Ghana 2017
    India 2017
    Indonesia 2017
    Kenya 2018
    Kyrgyzstan 2018
    Latvia 2017
    Maldives 2016
    Mexico 2016
    Mongolia 2018
    Morocco 2016
    Namibia 2016
    Netherlands 2017
    Nigeria 2017
    Panama 2018
    Paraguay 2017
    Philippines 2018
    Portugal 2017
    Qatar 2017
    Republic of Korea 2018
    Russian Federation 2016
    Saudi Arabia 2016
    Slovenia 2018
    South Africa 2016
    Switzerland 2018
    The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia 2016
    Togo 2018
    United Arab Emirates 2018
    United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 2016
    Venezuela (Bolivarian Republic of) 2018
    Viet Nam

    1. Wasn’t that Hillary’s travel schedule in 2010-12? And the Clinton Fund ation list from 2011-16?

  31. “You didn’t need him any longer, Huma,” Hillary said. “He had fulfilled his purpose in giving us The Vessel.”

    “I know, Mother. I just thought I could be enough.”

    “No one is enough for his type. He will be taken care of, child. A mugging. Or a suicide. A single car accident on a dry and windless night. Soon, child. The stamen shaken free of pollen means the flower may be plucked with no regrets.”

    “Yes, Mother.”

    “Hand me The Vessel. I can feel his hunger.”

    Huma passed the struggling infant into Hillary’s shaking hands. She placed him on one of her ponderous, black-veined breasts and forced a leathery nipple into his mouth.

    “Feed. Yes, you grimace. I know the black milk is bitter. All power is bitter.”

    1. She traced the line of his furrowed brow with a gnarled finger. “Our Master sailed the winds between the stars when we struggled to pull ourselves from the primordial slime. He came before words or legs, driven out by the corruption at the heart of the galaxy. But he returns. We return. Grow strong.”

      The infant when slack on her corrupted breast and a stream of warm urine flowed from his tiny body. Huma took the child and handed him off to one of the hooded attendants.

      “Come,” Hillary said. “Come now for your own benediction.”

      Huma leaned forward and began to suckle the penile fang growing from Hillary’s armpit.

      “Yes. Drink deep.”

      She stroked Huma’s thick black hair in an obscene mockery of affection.

      Hillary whispered to herself, “I am becoming.”

        1. You misspelled goddess.

      1. Hillary whispered to herself, “I am becoming.”

        President?

      2. Hillary whispered to herself, “I am becoming.”

        President?

      3. “Madam Secretary, now a question for you from a member, I mean, one of the audience, a Mr … Free.”

      4. Is this the script for the cancelled 4th season of Penny Dreadful?

      5. So the penile fang is a metaphor for the unsecured mail server, but what’s the child’s urine mean? Access bought through Foundation donations?

        1. The penile fang is a metaphor for the actual fanged penis, that pops out from her mouth.

          1. I choose not to click.

      6. A mugging. Or a suicide. A single car accident on a dry and windless night.

        Why bother? Anthony Weiner’s death from natural causes is more likely – incurable priapism, say, or an infection from a human bite.

        1. He’ll get his peen stuck in a hole in a wall or something and die of starvation.

          1. A true tragedy of American politics.

      7. Sounds like an omen.

      8. HBO needs to pick up this series.

        1. Already did.

          Stars Lena Dunham.

      9. Damn, that’s some evocative imagery. I can almost *see* the tiny infant suckling at her shriveled pendulous teat – his tiny little hands, his tiny little comb-over, the tiny little scowl on his tiny orange face…..

  32. Second couple have hedge stolen sparking fears of serial bush burglar

    A second hedge has been dug up and stolen in the middle of the night, it has been revealed.

    Peter and Julie Vine (yes, that’s their real surname) had 127 shrubs planted to block out road noise nicked from outside their home in Wrotham, Kent.

    Mr Vine said: ‘To do a theft like that on a main road is just bizarre.

    ‘We are right on the border of the A227 and I just cannot believe it ? for someone to take 127 trees takes time.

    ‘You’ve got to pull them out, load them onto the back of something, and I have to ask what is the point of doing something like that.

    1. Check with Roger the Shrubber.

      1. I’m having supply chain issues.

    2. “The Bush Burglar” was my nickname in college.

      1. So you shaved women while they were sleeping and then took off with your ill-gotten gains? Kinky.

    3. An infestation of people who say “Ni”?

    4. Talk about planted evidence.

        1. Oh, leaf him alone.

    5. I’m still slightly pissed about someone cutting down a palm tree in my yard at ground level and absconding with it over a decade ago.

      1. I have a Japanese Maple in my front yard. It’s still there even though it supposedly worth some $$.

        1. Probably would be too difficult to steal the tree while also keeping it in a completely undamaged state. In southern California, there have been a rash of rare cycad thefts. They go for big prices in the collector market due to their rarity. Also, you can cut all the leaves off and dig them roughly without hurting them much. Your tree would need careful digging and padding for the branches. Maybe a special machine to lift it in a fully upright position depending its size. Et cetera.

          The palm in my yard was small and worth nothing. They killed it by cutting it at ground level. Maybe some fraternity types used it for a party decoration, I was living near the college.

    6. What is the most fucked up family secret that you know?

      jamie79512 ? 335d, 14h
      I’m going to interpret “fucked up” as “strange” so that I have a good answer.

      20-30 years ago there was a thief in the town my family lived in. The person would break in and steal anything valuable plus their plants. Yes plants.

      This goes on for a few months, when my family starts noticing my uncle is giving away a lot of random plants to family members.

      Somebody (not sure who) found a stash of house plants in his house, and that was the final straw.

      Turns out my uncle was into some weird drugs at the time, and would break into places high and steal plants… Then wake up the next day with a house full of plants and try to give them away.

    7. One hundred and twenty-seven shrubs? Sounds like an inside job if you ask me.

  33. life?

    HPD: Naked jogger was high on something

    The naked jogger who turned heads on Loop 610 Sunday was high on drugs, according to Houston police.

    They say the man was in a car with a friend near Gulfgate Mall when the drugs caused him to feel really hot. He got out of the car, ripped off his clothes and took off running.

    At one point, the man darted out in front of traffic.

    “People were trying to swerve,” said Blaine Dever. “It could have caused an accident. We almost got hit by a red car.”

    “This is Houston, we know we get a lot of crazy stuff,” said Miguel Chavez.

    1. Global warming. 20 years ago he would have just run with his clothes on.

    2. Can’t go to the beach in a burka. Can’t run naked in traffic. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!

    3. “We almost got hit by a red car.”

      Blaine Dever is a colorist.

  34. White House defends Obama evading Senate on Paris climate deal

    The White House on Monday defended President Obama’s decision to enter into the Paris climate accord without Senate ratification but stopped short of confirming a Chinese report that he will do so this week during his trip to China.

    Still, it would surprise no one if Mr. Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping were to announce the ratification of the sweeping climate change agreement before the Sunday opening of the Group of 20 summit in Hangzhou, Zhejiang.

    White House senior adviser Brian Deese said the president has the legal authority to ratify the accord without the two-thirds Senate vote required for treaties. He said the pact negotiated by 195 countries in December is merely an “executive agreement.”

    “The president will use his authority that has been used in dozens of executive agreements in the past to join and formally deposit our instrument of acceptance, and therefore put our country as a party to the Paris Agreement,” Mr. Deese said at a White House press conference.

    1. to join and formally deposit our instrument of acceptance

      Now, *that’s* funny!

      1. No-one’s depositing their instrument of acceptance near me. Not without a dinner, some dancing, and banter.

    2. merely an “executive agreement.”

      And one hopes an executive might disagree with it at some future date.

    3. “The president will use his authority that has been used in dozens of executive agreements in the past to join and formally deposit our instrument of acceptance, and therefore put our country as a party to the Paris Agreement,”

      No, maybe in China an executive agreement puts the country as a party to the agreement – in this country an executive does not have the authority. That’s the whole damn point of what he’s doing, it takes the Senate to make the country a party to the agreement and he doesn’t have the Senate so he’s signing his name and hoping people won’t notice that he can sign stuff all he wants but that doesn’t make it a binding agreement on anybody else. That’s how the Constitution and the separation of powers doctrine works and precisely why it works that way – if the country’s going to be a party, the country’s representatives have to agree to it. The country’s representatives haven’t agreed to it so the country’s not a party to the agreement.

      And I also know you know that, you’re not stupid or pretending you’re stupid, you’re a piece of shit who thinks we’re stupid.

  35. Beyond burkinis: why science suggests ALL clothes should be banned

    All of these complaints are misplaced. The real problem with the burkini ban is, it’s too limited. Forbidding a specific type of swimsuit won’t achieve anything: we must ban ALL CLOTHES! And the sooner the better.

    This may sound like a ridiculous notion. But, more ridiculous than banning a swimming costume in order to fight terrorism? I think not! Plus, there are many scientifically valid reasons for us to do away with clothes.

    Firstly, clothes cause problems. Look at the long history of clothes being used as a tool of oppression and control, often resulting in political problems. If we didn’t have clothes, we wouldn’t have the means to use them to make people’s lives harder. Even today, in these more “liberated” times, clothes regularly cause problems. How many T-shirt controversies have there been now? Considering how much time has been wasted arguing over them, clothes have probably held back human advancement significantly.

    Someone finally gets it. Also, The Guardian is hilarious.

    1. This. If every body is beautiful, pony up.

    2. I hope that is only a modest proposal.

    3. The Guardian is slowly lurching towards becoming the next Salon.

      Now that the Snowden revelations are all done, what’s really left in that paper?

    4. But you don’t need to cite controversy to see that clothes do more harm than good. How long do you spend agonising over what to wear every day? How long do you spend chafing in uncomfortable garments while trying to work because of some unthinking poorly-thought-out office “dress code”? And you dare not deviate from it, or there will be consequences. So you end up spending large sums of money on things you don’t like, don’t enjoy and which don’t really do anything useful.

      Well…this is true.

      1. In January, I tend to find clothes pretty damn useful.

      2. I spend 5 minutes agonizing over what to wear.
        My dress code is casual enough for me. I don’t “chafe”.
        I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes.
        Clothes have pockets. My skin doesn’t.

        I realize the article is trolling, but come on.

        1. Skin Pockets by Nestl

      3. How long do you spend agonising over what to wear every day?

        1) Grab underwear from top of stack – 5 seconds
        2) Grab pants off ground – 2 seconds
        3) Smell test the pants – 5 seconds
        4) If pants are still okay, put them on; if not, grab new pants off the top of the appropriate stack – 10 seconds
        5) If appropriate, grab undershirt from top of stack – 5 seconds
        6) grab shirt from top of appropriate stack – 5 seconds
        7) grab socks from appropriate sock basket – 5 seconds
        8) tighten belt – 10 seconds
        9) grab and put on appropriate shoes – 30 seconds

        Grand total: 77 seconds

        How long do you spend chafing in uncomfortable garments while trying to work because of some unthinking poorly-thought-out office “dress code”?

        Never? I sometimes wear uncomfortable garments because I had one too many enchiladas the night before, but it’s not the dress code’s fault that I’m too cheap to get better fitting clothes. Besides, the place I’m gonna work has no official dress code.

        Three things make your clothes uncomfortable: 1) Poor fit, 2) being a fatty, and 3) poor quality. Fix those three things, and you can be quite comfortable, even when you’re in a suit for 10 hours.

        1. Ok, the only thing true was the part about spending money on clothes that I would not buy if not for the office dress code.

    5. +1 Puppet Masters

  36. Eat your heart out. Minnesoda has a Chief Inclusion Officer.

    The rest of you will be kicking your self and saying “Uffda” once you see how wonderful things are now.

    1. How. Freaking. Stupid.

      Tear it all down and start anew.

    2. MinnPost: Gov. Dayton appointed you as the chief inclusion officer for the state of Minnesota just a couple of months ago. What are your plans for the office?

      James Burroughs: We’re working on increasing the diversity of the [state government] workforce, which is currently 10 percent people of color. The governor and his cabinet want to increase that number to 20 percent by the end of his term. That’s why we’re aggressively looking at ways to increase our recruitment and retention efforts to attract more employees of color.

      Also, we have some senior-level employees who have been working for the state for years. But they haven’t necessarily had an opportunity to develop their skills or get promoted. So, we want to make sure we retain them and promote those employees so they can become our best recruiting forces as well.

      So they’re senior personnel with undeveloped skills. Promotion wouldn’t be the first thing that comes to my mind.

      1. Since Minnesota is about 87% white, 4% Asian, and about 5% black, what could possibly be the rationale for arbitrarily increasing “POC” employees to 20%?

      2. 10 percent people of color

        Mandatory tan booths to get rid of that year round pasty Minnesoda look?

  37. A symbol of hatred or history? Obama quietly bans Confederate flag at cemeteries

    Congress had debated and rejected that change, but the Obama administration decided to move forward anyway, saying it was unilaterally imposing the restrictions.

    “In particular, we will amend our policy to make clear that Confederal flags will not be displayed from any permanently fixed flagpole in a national cemetery at any time,” wrote Ronald E. Walters, under secretary for memorial affairs at the VA.

    Rep. Jared Huffman, a California Democrat who had pushed for the changes, declared victory after the move, and said it was a rejection of some of the sentiments seen at rallies for GOP presidential hopeful Donald Trump.

    “While racist individuals and groups continue to embrace the Confederate battle flag, it has never been more clear that this anachronistic symbol of hatred, slavery, and insurrection should not be promoted or gratuitously displayed on federal property,” Mr. Huffman said in releasing the VA letter last week.

    1. hatred, slavery, and insurrection

      “One of these is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong”

      1. Insurrection against the State is the gravest sin for the left.

    2. I’m starting to get the distinct, nervous feeling that once Obama leaves office, it won’t be the last we’ll hear of him. He’ll leverage all that power into other bull shit activism. His transformation of America will continue.

      1. I can’t believe a natural born cynic such as you ever thought he would go gently into that good night. He’s relatively young and there’s a conga line of sycophants ready to adore him, so why should he fuck off and play shuffleboard?

        1. Seriously this exists and it disturbs me to my core:

          Southside with You (2016)

          Chronicles the summer 1989 afternoon when the future President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, wooed his future First Lady on an epic first date across Chicago’s South Side.

          1. Chicago South Side? Where my friend got mugged, while with a group of half-dozen people. Let’s call it it a group mugging. That South Side?

          2. Take heart in the fact that no one is watching it.

        2. I’m no cynic. A skeptic yes. But no cynic.

          /lays head gently on IFH’s shoulder.

          1. She’s Australian, Rufus. That’s a good way to get your head twisted off.

            1. He’s canadian, they can reattach their floppy heads.

            2. I’m already turned on.

              But she’s right. I shoulda seen it coming.

              Obama is gonna haunt.

          2. there there, li’l Rufus, don’t worry, Prime Minister Zoolander will make it all better

            1. Grrrrrr.

      2. Was the hint the part where after he was no longer eligable to run for office he left his campaign apparatus in place but changed the name slightly?

        1. No longer eligible to run for PRESIDENT.

          1. My belief is that there’s a 100% likelihood that President Hillary Clinton will nominate Obama for the Supreme Court.

      3. If Hillary is elected, Obama will be appointed to the Supreme Court. After Justice Roberts is reminded about the video of himself and the goat in the cheerleader costume, Roberts will decide to retire and Obama will be the new chief justice.

        1. That would be a good way to park him in a position where he still has power, yet can’t directly challenge her.

          1. In this scenario (which I don’t think likely) would Obama rubber-stamp Hillary’s unconstitutional excesses because they move the country in a proggy direction, or overturn them just to spite her?

        2. Sounds very “historic”.

          1. It is spelled ‘histrionic’.

      4. I think you’re on to something, Rufe. All the previous presidents who I remember have stepped out of the spotlight and stayed that way. I have a feeling this one may be different. And the rivalry between the Clinton and Obama factions is well known. This could be very, very interesting.

        1. There’s no way his ego will let him bow out gracefully the way that even GWB did. Especially next time a Republican is in office.

      5. I have been sure since the election in ’08 that Obama was to plague us as national moral scold until he departs this mortal coil.

      6. Something at the UN. The Supreme Court proposal is silly and would ultimately muzzle him.

    3. Trump should respond by proposing to ban the anachronistic party of hatred, slavery, and insurrection.

    4. “Furthermore, we should ban any flag that has been flown by a government that has ever institutionalized and legalized slavery.”

  38. As if immigrants from New Jersey wasn’t bad enough.

    “World’s Largest Rodent, The Capybara, Invades Florida”

    http://www.wbur.org/hereandnow…..ra-florida

    1. The leader of the herd is the capy di tutti capy?

      Also, covered last week.

      Also, fried chicken.

  39. Hey…

    This Girl Says She Has The World’s Longest Tongue And It’s Massive

    One of my friends barely has thumbs but that’s just cos she’s got weird thumbs, there’s no medical reason for it. Another of my friends can use his arms like skipping ropes.

    It’s weird but it’s just a party trick. I’m 100% sure anyone reading this will either have one of their own or know someone with something similar.

    However, this 20-year-old girl is so sure she has the longest tongue in the world, she plans on getting it verified and into the World Record Books.

    Gerkary Bracho Blequett can touch her elbow, her ear lobe and her eyes by stretching out her tongue. Gene Simmonds would be proud.

    Gerkary, from Florida, has since started a YouTube channel where she has managed to amass one million views of her doing crazy shit with her tongue.

    But her talent comes with the price of online trolling…

    1. “Gerkary Bracho Blequett!” screamed the deranged man as he was tased over and over again.

      1. You sure he isn’t summoning the robot from his spaceship?

        1. +1 destructive eyebeam

          1. Eyebeam converted to Immolation Aura when I specced Vengeance.

    2. What do you call a girl with the world’s longest tongue?

      “Darling”

    3. Those two giant blue veins on the bottom look cool

    4. Gerkary, from Florida

  40. Paxman: pensioners ‘are virtual corpses’ on verge of ‘incontinence and idiocy’

    Jeremy Paxman has been accused of insulting millions of people after he branded pensioners “virtual corpses” riddled with “incontinence and idiocy”.

    The former Newsnight presenter, who is 66 himself, has become embroiled in a dispute with Mature Times, a newspaper aimed at the over-50s, after he launched a scathing attack on the publication.

    Paxman went on to accuse the elderly of being humourless and said there was a strong case to restrict their ability to vote in polls such as the EU referendum. “It’s simply not fair to allow people to vote for a future they won’t live to enjoy or endure. The case for curtailing the franchise is undeniable,” he said.

    He added that politicians were too frightened to confront the “whiffy vested interest” of old people. “They have every reason to laugh at the way government after government has skewed things in their favour. Yet the most striking thing about rooms full of old people is how very little you see them laughing.”

    1. American and Canadian “journalists” should take notice.

      Canadian ‘interviews’ with Trudeau are more exercises in fawning and fluff than actual journalism.

    2. It’s simply not fair to allow people to vote for a future they won’t live to enjoy or endure. The case for curtailing the franchise is undeniable,

      He then introduced reporters to a man he referred to as Logan 3.

    3. It’s simply not fair to allow people to vote for a future they won’t live to enjoy or endure.

      Actually, I’d say the case for denying the franchise to any imbecile who’d make that stupid an argument is much stronger.

      First of all, the bulk of political decisions are about the present. While that may effect the future, its most pronounced effect is immediate.

      Second of all, can Paxman say how long anyone has left to live?

      1. Second of all, can Paxman say how long anyone has left to live?

        Duh, he’s a sandman.

    4. “It’s simply not fair to allow people to vote for a future they won’t live to enjoy or endure. The case for curtailing the franchise is undeniable,” he said.

      This sentiment used to annoy me, but then I thought about the logical implications of applying a generalized version of this principle consistently and I have to say it has its merits. If it is unfair to allow people to vote for something that won’t affect them, which would appear to be the underlying argument here, then lets apply that to everything. No one should be allowed to vote for any taxes that they won’t have to pay, or vote for any regulations that won’t apply to them, or vote for any wars that they won’t have to fight, or otherwise vote to burden anyone with things they won’t personally have to endure. It’s not the worst idea, but something tells me these people pining for limiting the franchise don’t truly believe in the general principle underlying their arguments and are just throwing a tantrum that they didn’t get their way.

      1. don’t truly believe in the general principle

        Of course not. This is all about old people aren’t leftist enough.

      2. At any rate, it would have to go both ways. If you want to strip someone of the franchise, you must also cede any authority you claim over them.

  41. French Teacher Struck Off After Having Sex With Student On His Prom Night

    In a picture which emerged shortly after the sexual relationship, she is seen lying in bed in a hotel room in Edinburgh while what is reported to be the pupil she slept with stands in the doorway of the room.

    The picture is said to have been taken on the student’s prom night, but Graham claimed she was ‘the victim’ and insisted that her drinks must have been spiked.

    However, a lawyer for the General Teaching Council for Scotland (GTCS) today dismissed her claim as “speculation” and Graham was judged unfit to teach and barred from the profession by the GTCS disciplinary panel.

    1. Oui oui

    2. The ex-teacher in question, Isabelle Graham, is believed to be a practising Christian and the incident took place in 2014.

      Wut?

    3. Gah! Forearm tattoo. Throw the fucking book at her. She’s guilty as sin.

      1. Her husband still believes she was a virgin on her wedding night despite photographic evidence and a frickin forearm tattoo. OK then.

        1. Well he did wear a skirt to his own wedding so…

        2. She’s a British 9, even though she looks like a bobblehead. Any chick hotter than that is married to European royalty or moved to the US.

  42. I thought Gen Xers couldn’t deal, Millenials can’t even

    1. The last one is very sweet

    2. Whoever came up with the word “Dudeoir” needs to be disappeared for the good of humanity and as a warning for those who might also try such a thing.

      1. THIS

        These sorts of things prove that there really are not secret government hit squads. If there were, the people running them would have long whacked guys like the person who came up with Dudeoir for the good of humanity and as a way of keeping their skills sharp in between government hits.

        Think about it, if you ran the secret government hit squad, wouldn’t you do a little work on the side for the good of humanity?

        1. If I did, this country would be a very different place.

            1. If Preet Bahara is reading. The chimpanzee is the guy you want to go after… not me.

    3. GODDAMMIT why did I click on that.

  43. Many restaurant chains, such as McDonald’s and Panera Bread, are already heavily invested in automation. Both have rolled out digital tablets at restaurants nationwide.

    The technology has been praised for helping to improve customer-service speed and accuracy. But it also threatens to eventually replace human workers ? especially as labor costs rise, according to analysts and labor activists.

    I am routinely told that no such thing will ever happen. Fight for 15!

    1. When I’m pigging out on fast food I very much prefer some privacy.

  44. DOJ Video Tells Cops To Ask Transgendered Citizens: ‘Do You Prefer Ma’am Or Sir?’

    The DOJ declined to comment on how much the production of the video cost taxpayers.

    Better get a transgendered taxpayer to ask them.

    1. That is a nice idea, but how is the person supposed to answer while they are either bleeding to death or have the cop shoving their head into the ground?

      1. “DO YOU PREFER MA’AM OR SIR? MA’AM OR SIR?”
        “Well…”
        “[S]HE’S MAKING A FURTIVE MOVEMENT!” *bangbangbangbangbangbangbang*

        1. Zie is making a furtive movement”, you cis-whatever shitlord

        2. STOP RESISTING!!11!!!!

          1. STOP TRANSITING!

        3. “We find that the officer acted appropriately, reacting to a reasonable fear for his life. However, he did call the suspect by the male pronoun, while the suspect identified as a woman. We find this behavior unacceptable and we will strive to do better.”

  45. http://www.yahoo.com/news/dogs-same-p…..49575.html

    Dogs know what we say. Every dog owner knew this but couldn’t prove it.

    1. Cats know what we say too – but just don’t give a shit.

      1. Pretty much. When my wife travels for work or goes to see her parents, my dog goes into complete depression. The cat is totally aware she is leaving and just doesn’t care. As long as the litter box is clean and the food and water bowls refilled, it really is of no concern to the cat.

        1. Well, the old saying is: “dogs have owners, cats have staff.”

          1. Ah, so I really am the owner of my dog, and butler to my cat!

          2. When you feed a dog, it thinks you are a god. When you feed a cat,

            it

            thinks it is a god.

            1. bold/blockquote fail

  46. Seattle figures it’s entirely too easy to hire people there, needs laws to make it more difficult:

    “Seattle weighs rules for work schedules”
    […]
    “Seattle officials are considering new rules for another aspect of working life ? scheduling. In retail and food service particularly, low-wage workers often face unpredictable schedules, say advocates. Businesses say they’re wary of onerous and inflexible regulations.”
    http://www.seattletimes.com/bu…..schedules/

  47. Good morning, commentariat! I wish I had some nifty links to share, but I’ve been outta town for about two weeks and I’m getting caught up on all the stuff I missed. Did the reason editors declare an end to the Trumpening? I’m only seeing, like, two or three Trumpicles, tops, in the front page feed right now.

    1. They are just taking a half time break. I expect them to get back to the regularly scheduled 20 Trump posts a day after Labor Day.

      1. It’s only going to get worse.

      2. John! Have you read anything by John C. Wright? I’m reading his Hermetic tetralogy now and I gotta say it’s pretty fantastic. Seems like something up your alley if you’re into sci-fi.

        1. No I have not. I need to read more science fiction and fantasy. I will have to check him out. He looks pretty interesting.

          1. Here’s one of my favorite essays by him. The phrase “a disgrace to the forces of evil” is just too perfect not to be used more often.

          2. His politics are a bit weird, but god damn, man who wrote this scathing critique of the second Hobbit movie has earned his Heaven!

      3. You haven’t connected the diminished Trump articles with the diminished pimping of recently released books? They’re not talking about Trump because they’re all too busy writing books on how the media spends too damn much time talking about Trump.

        (Seriously, I don’t expect anybody here to come out with one, but I’d bet my left nut there’s a dozen or more journalists right now working on manuscripts to come out next year explaining why the media did such a shitty job analyzing the Trump phenomenon by focusing only on the circus freakshow aspects of it rather than doing any serious in-depth analysis. They’d be writing fast enough to have the books come out this year, but they’ve got a circus freakshow they gotta report on.)

  48. If you don’t listen to the EconTalk podcast, you really should.

    This week, the presenter did a poor job of explaining his work, but there are some interesting ideas in there.

    1. the one from last week about slavery made me uncomfortable, but was probably one of the more interesting ones I’ve heard in a while. Haven’t listened to this week yet.

      1. Yes, that one was very good. Munger is very good, but writes for BHL too, which confuses me greatly.

        1. And former Libertarian NC governor candidate. I always found the ones with Munger to be highly entertaining.

          Is Russ Roberts still the host?

          1. Yes. Without Russ it wouldnt be the same.

      2. I have a 20 min commute, so usually finish it on the way home on Tuesday.

        I have a few minutes left in this week’s.

    2. Yeah, I wasn’t entirely certain what is meant by “the perversity of law,” other than that humans balance many considerations other than justice. Which seems… obvious? I’ll need to listen through again.

  49. The European Union says Apple owes $14.5 billion in back taxes to Ireland.

    He added that the European Commission had sought to replace Irish tax law and has “seriously” undermined the sovereignty of EU member states.

    Ireland is violating the rules by not stealing enough from it’s citizens. It’s not fair that the Irish tax code is less retarded than the Belgian tax code. We need to force Ireland to consume more of it’s private economy and be all around less competitive, because fairness.

    This is the position of the eurocrats and I still hear some libertarians talking about how good the EU is for liberty.

    1. Who said the EU is good for liberty?

      1. Free Society’s imagination.

        1. Meh. Not entirely. I know at least one person who occasionally writes (as a columnist) here threw a shit fit over Brexit in her Derpbook feed.

            1. No, not one of the regulars.

          1. One is not the same as all.

            1. You’re quite right. Good thing Free Society did, in fact, say some.

            1. Don’t forget Bleeding Heart Libertarians opposition to Brexit

              Liz Mair, sometime Reason contributor and self-stated Libertarian Republican, was also against it, but also noted that the US shouldn’t have any position on it as a country (see: Obama’s jawboning to that effect while in the UK)

      2. Some Reason intern that was given a keyboard amidst the Brexit BS and several randoms here in the commentariat at about the same time. They were basically talking up the Schengen Agreement and common market as the ultimate expression of liberty that invalidated the litany of reasonable objections to the EU.

  50. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    Nearly a third of people 18 to 24 prefer ordering from the drive-thru at restaurants because “they don’t feel like dealing with people,” according to a study by Ohio-based Frisch’s Restaurants, which owns and franchises 120 Big Boy Restaurants.

    I don’t like dealing with fast food employees either. But on the other hand, if you actually get to see some of these people that are handling your food, you’ll think twice about having fast food.

  51. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    We literally can’t even.

    1. All those perfectly good breasts wastefully attached to stinky hippies…

      1. Raelians. Not sure if there’s a big difference.

  52. Back from VT. Lookit that gigantic sunny the squeeze caught.

    And the rental house ended up being next door to a woman my mom knew when we lived in VT, and with whose son I went to high school in CT. Weird.

  53. Millennials can’t handle “dealing with people.”

    That’s okay. People can’t handle dealing with Millenials, either.

  54. “Why we need more women in U.S. police forces.”

    From skimming the article, it will lead to more rape charges.

  55. The United Nations office of human rights called French bans on “burkini” swimsuits a “stupid reaction” that is “highly discriminatory” and should be repealed.

    So, the UN OHR is now charged with reviewing state and local dress codes and declaring which it finds acceptable.

    I’d be impressed if UN OHR called the dress codes imposed on women in Muslim countries “stupid” and “highly discriminatory”. Saudi Arabia is one big beach where there is not a bikini to be found. In fact, I’ve never even seen a burkini in Saudi because the religious police usually see to it that women are always completely enclosed in loose garments. There are no wet burkini contests in the Middle East.

  56. “The United Nations office of human rights called French bans on “burkini” swimsuits a “stupid reaction” that is “highly discriminatory” and should be repealed.”

    That’s interesting.

    Meanwhile, the United Nations Office of Human Rights is headed by Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein, the diplomat from Jordan.

    Here are some highlights on the state of human rights in Jordan:

    *Jordanian law criminalizes speech deemed critical of the king, government officials, and institutions, as well as Islam.

    *Jordanians no longer require government permission to hold public meetings or demonstrations. However, prosecutors continued to charge protesters with participating in “unlawful gatherings”.

    *Marriages between Muslim women and non-Muslims are not recognized. A woman separated from a Muslim husband forfeits her custodial rights after the child reaches seven years old.

    *Articles 98 and 340 of Jordan’s penal code, which provide for reduced sentences for perpetrators of “honor crimes,” remained in force.

    *Credible allegations of torture or other ill-treatment are routinely ignored because it remains up to police, intelligence prosecutors, and judges to investigate, prosecute, and try fellow officers.

    —-Human Rights Watch

    http://tinyurl.com/z49pc52

    The idea that the United Nations Office of Human Rights is in any position to criticize France’s laws on swimwear is absurd.

  57. The dictatorships of the Middle East and North Africa heavily sought to dominate positions within various UN human rights agencies more than a decade ago–long before the Arab Spring. The intent was to counter American neoconservatives at the time from being able to use the UN as a propaganda organ to demonize their regimes back home and make it easy to get the American public to go to war–like the neoconservatives did with Iraq.

    Libya, for instance, was a huge player in the United Nations Human Rights Council and was only expelled from the council when Gaddafi started open firing on peaceful protestors during the Arab Spring.

    Suffice it to say, the human rights agencies within the UN (and there are many) are often dominated by vicious dictatorships that don’t want to be criticized by human rights agencies.

    I’m as much for human rights as the next rabid libertarian, but we should always take what UN human rights agencies say with a grain of salt.

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