A.M. Links: 32% of Voters 'Would Consider' Voting for Gary Johnson, Obama Visits Flooded Baton Rouge, Russia Banned from Paralympics

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  • Gage Skidmore / Flickr.com

    According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they "would consider" voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

  • President Obama will visit flood victims in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, today.
  • Russia has lost its appeal and will therefore be banned from participating in next month's Paralympic Games in Rio.
  • According to the head of the Philippines police, more than 1,900 people have been killed in a drug war crackdown in that country over the past seven weeks.
  • Yesterday the California Supreme Court declined to review a lower court decision that upheld the state's teacher tenure law.
  • "North Korea has laid landmines in the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) between the two Koreas, the South's Yonhap news agency reported on Tuesday, as tension rose on the divided peninsula after the start of annual U.S.-South Korean military exercises."

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  1. According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they “would consider” voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

    Considered and rejected.

    1. Hello.

    2. What amazes me is the high number of those polled who have such a negative view of Jonhnson; I did not even realize that many people even knew he existed.

      Of course, it probably just means anyone but my guy Trump, or anyone but my gal Hillary.

      1. As far as I can tell, that question wasn’t “do you have a negative view of Johnson”, but would you vote for him.

        As such, it also includes people who wouldn’t consider voting for any third party, regardless of whether or not they can support team BlueRed

        1. And it includes those who would never consider voting libertarian even if they might consider voting Green or Constitution party

  2. President Obama will visit flood victims in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, today.

    “Doing a heckuva job, whoever my FEMA guy is.”

      1. At least he has some experience in the area of emergency management.

        1. Too bad he’s not a “Brownie”.

          *** bites lip ***

          1. He is a Florida Man though.

            1. “Hold mah beer and watch this.” [builds 5000-person tent city with only 4 outhouses]

    1. It’s all politics with Obama.

      In remarks President Barack Obama made August 15, he said that his wife, Michelle Obama, insists that he commit to vacation when he’s on vacation. It’s understandable that Mrs. Obama would insist that the president, a husband and father of two teenagers, carve off a dedicated block of time to spend time with them. The irony is that the president made his remark at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton. He suspended his vacation to raise money for her, but he didn’t suspend his vacation to visit a flooded Baton Rouge.

      1. Barack Obama doesn’t care about black people.

        1. Why should he? They are 90% certain Democrat voters and, with a few exceptions, can’t come through with the big bucks.

      2. I still say he did the right thing for the wrong reason. A presidential visit does not help. Wait until the immediate emergency is over and then visit if you must.

        1. I think presidential visits are bullshit publicity stunts that accomplish nothing, but to claim you’re not doing one because “time with family is important,” then go to a political fundraiser just shows us the man’s priorities.

        2. But this emergency is right up His alley. Look, the floodwaters have already stopped their rise just on word of His Visit!
          weather.gov

        3. Quite possibly. The thing that bothers so many people is the double standard. And we know the standard will change again when someone from the wrong party is in office (obviously talking about the media and not you).

          1. Oh sure. It was some kind of big deal when Bush didn’t make it to New Orleans for 2 days after Katrina.

            I said the same thing then. He should have stayed away longer.

            1. Yes, Zeb, it’s nice that you said he should have stayed away as well.

              The media, the Democrats and the organized left were all screaming for his head though, for not showing up.

              The same thing they’re letting Obama do.

              The hypocrisy is the whole thing.

        4. If Obama hadn’t blasted Bush for not visiting Louisiana under similar circumstances, it wouldn’t matter.

          1. Hence “for the wrong reasons”.

            But I’m not going to criticize someone too much for doing what I would want him to do when there are so many more substantive things to criticize him for.

            1. “Look, the only thing my entourage is going to do is get in the way. The governor and people of Louisiana are doing an exemplary job of dealing with this crisis and we will provide them with all the federal support they require as necessary.”

              This isn’t that hard, but of course he had to come off looking like a pompous ass again.

              1. Yeah, that would have been an appropriate response. He really is a smug prick.

        5. Just once I’d love to see a President go off on a reporter who asked him why he hasn’t visited the site of the disaster du jour…

          “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what the logisitics of a presidential visit entails? Those people are in the middle of a crisis and you want me to spend a couple of million taxpayer dollars flying down there and tying up valuable resources that could otherwise be used for relief and recovery operations for a PR photo op just so I can “show how much I care”? Yes I am aware that my predecessors were all mendacious twits who couldn’t resist a good photo op but unlike them I actually DO care about those people and so I am staying away until the situation normalizes and spending my time working FEMA and State officials to ensure that NOTHING and that includes stupid political stunts gets in the way of recovery efforts. Now good day sir!”

          1. “Now, excuse me while I take those same expensive logistics back with me to continue my vacation. That ball isn’t going to golf itself.”

        6. I still say he did the right thing for the wrong reason.

          I don’t disagree, but that’s not the standard that was set with Katrina and Bush. And that’s not the standard that will be applied to any Republican President.

  3. Russia has lost its appeal

    The babushka market has gone tits up!

    1. The babushka market has gone tits up!

      Oj! Crusty hardest hit!

    2. The Ruskies were…

      [dons polarized lenses]

      …cut off at the knees!

  4. 219) The Washington Post today had an article on how global warming has actually been a boon for Arctic bowhead whales. It seems with less ice cover in the Arctic, the bowhead whales have more room to expand their territory, and also, more phytoplankton is growing–“a food source for the crustaceans that are key to whales’ diets.”

    “Listed since 1973 as a threatened species?the whale should be delisted because its numbers have rebounded in recent years?in 2011?there were an estimated 17,000 bowheads?the population may now be as high as 20,000.”

    But, wait, don’t other creatures also eat the phytoplankton? Hmm, a quick Internet search says yes! Phytoplankton “are the foundation of the marine food chain.” So am I missing something, or will global warming not result in a boom in Arctic sea life? (Indeed, as the whales show, that it’s already begun?)

    1. JATNAS, you are such a racist fuck….

    2. No, any type of change is scary.

      1. Unless paired with Hope and an inspirational messiah

        1. No, that’s even scarier.

        2. Bob Hope or Hope Lange?

            1. Mmm…that’s good crazy.

              1. Eh, not even. Maybe it’s that I’ve heard about her shenanigans a lot more than most, being a soccer fan, but she’s so utterly retarded, that even the attraction of the good crazy just isn’t enough.

                1. She has remarkably ugly lady bits. Just sayin’.

                  1. We’re all floppy and pink down there…right?

                  2. Wow. You weren’t kidding.

                  3. Oh, you guys!

                    ::trots off to Arby’s for a Big Montana::

    3. No, any type of change is scary.

    4. But when you’re looking for disasters somehow the good sides are never seen.
      It really all boils down to fear of change.
      “I remember things used to be better” [no you don’t]
      “Therefore things tend to get worse” [no they don’t]
      “Therefore we have to stop all changes!” [no, just no]

      Fear of change, fear of the new, fear of the inevitable disruptions positive change always brings.
      But fear makes jobs for news organizations. Makes jobs for politicians. Allows people to push for *their* preferences to be enforced at gun point.

      1. Tradeoffs are never considered once something becomes a moral issue.

      2. Shirley you can’t be serious.

    5. But polar baears!

      1. ‘Let them drink Coke’.

      2. They need to learn to eat whales.

        1. They know how to eat them. They have to figure out how to kill them.

        2. I saw a nature documentary once where a polar bear was trying to attack walruses. It didn’t get very far.

          1. I saw one where a pod of belugas was trapped at a single opening in the ice, and a polar bear bopped one of them on the head every time it came up to breathe until it died. Then a larger polar bear came and stole the dead beluga. Nature is a stone cold bitch.

            1. I saw that one. That beluga was tortured for hours before it died. But nature is beautiful and wonderful, if we could just get rid of all the men. Derp.

              1. It was probably a male polar bear

    6. It’s interesting to consider, but be careful of attribution errors. They swing both ways.

      1. You know who else swung both ways?

        1. Morganna the kissing bandit?

          1. My cousin?

        2. Willie McGee?

    7. “global warming has actually been a boon for Arctic bowhead blowhard whales.”

      algore hardest hit

      1. +1 yuge bulge!

    8. “Ayo, hold up–so what you’re saying is that animals will adapt to changes in the environment, or die out, showing evolution in action? What kind of science-denying hillbilly voodoo is this?”

      /warmingtard

    9. There’s not a lot of hard data out there, because scientists don’t seem to want to study the desolate arctic wastes all that much, but from what I’ve heard from Inuit hunters (who seem to be the most informed when it comes to arctic animal populations), populations of walrus and other arctic animals are booming currently.

  5. According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they “would consider” voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

    I considered not commenting on this.

    1. Only 32 percent of you, however.

    2. I considered not *narrowing my gaze* at you.

    3. Wouldn’t the headline be: “68% of voters won’t even consider voting for the Libertarian”?

    1. ‘We’re levelling the playing field for the whole industry while ensuring consumers have safe and reliable access to transport services.’

      Yep, you’re levelling something.

      1. “We’re leveling the playing field by subsidizing failures with the profits of people who respond to customers.”

    2. Once again, real life mirrors Atlas Shrugged.

      1. + 1 Dog Eat Dog Law

    3. Tax don’t ‘level’ jack shit. They’re inefficient by their nature.

      1. They ‘level’ as in ‘raze’

    4. Ride Share Drivers’ Association of Australia’s Dan Manchester has welcomed the decision by the Victorian Government to move towards a single industry.

      ‘In the big picture, ride sharing is never ever going to go away. It’s going to be around for a next few years until automatic vehicles take over and put everyone out of the job,’ he told Daily Mail Australia.

      No, the government will just charge you $2 every time you ride in your automated vehicle to pay wages to all the drivers who’ve lost their jobs as a result of the advent of the automated vehicle, see…

      1. Get ahead of the curb and open “Luddite’s Taxi Service”.

        1. Horse & Buggy?

  6. According to the head of the Philippines police, more than 1,900 people have been killed in a drug war crackdown in that country over the past seven weeks.

    The victims of those people’s crimes finally have justice.

    1. That’s an astounding number. It’s only about 400 shy of total US deaths in Afghanistan over, what, 14 years now?

      1. Goes to show how good at murder, mayhem and killing and chaos the government is.

  7. Cam Newton clearly doesn’t understand when people are being racist to him. He just doesn’t “get it”…

    http://nflspinzone.com/2016/08…..d-reality/

    Thank God liberals are here to make us aware of our victimhood!!

    1. As soon as I heard what Newton had said about the criticism of him not being racist, it was pretty easy to know exactly what would be written about it.

      1. Yeah, The Federalist had a pretty decent (but full of swooning over Cam) article about it the other day. Cam doesn’t want to wade in on issues that will alienate around half of his fanbase (maybe more, given that he places in NC), and the “Everything Must be Politicized” Left is losing its mind that a BLACK! quarterback wouldn’t take up their pet causes

        1. He hangs around with Jordan (or did earlier in his career) while in Charlotte. Seems like he picked up on the “Republicans buy shoes, too” philosophy.

          1. No, Republicans buy jackboots.

    2. Lol, the guy isn’t that smart. The Charlotte Observer is a liberal rag worthy of nothing more than TP, but they didn’t write about Cam dancing too much, or having a kid out of wedlock: they were letters to the editor.

      1. Who gives a shit if he’s smart?!? He’s got a good football IQ and is an absolute BEAST. And doesn’t automatically perceive criticism of him as racist. I’d say that’s admirable…

        1. No, the author of that article isn’t smart. And insert “That’s my quarterback” crying TO meme.

          1. Insert THIS, pal….

    3. Nobody ever said anything bad about Ryan Leaf because he’s white!!

    4. There are none so tiresome as the perpetually hypersensitive.

  8. According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they “would consider” voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

    and *68* percent “would consider” voting for Cthulhu.

    1. He’d be the first Great Old One to be elected president! We can’t let this historic opportunity pass us by!

      1. “You ever hear tale of a shaggoth, stranger?”

    2. “‘Kuhthooloo?’ I don’t think so. Sounds like one ‘a them Islam names.”

      1. Well, given that his press guy was a mad Arab, it makes sense.

    3. Wait…did Almanian! switch places on the ticket with him?!

    4. “and *68* percent ‘would consider’ voting for Cthulhu.”

      To be fair, having a president locked in an unearthly slumber for the next four to eight years would probably be a boon.

    5. Haven’t you heard? It isn’t running this year.

      It refuses to run if it has to do so as a ‘lesser’ evil.

  9. “”North Korea has laid landmines in the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) between the two Koreas, ”

    I thought I’d read in the past this was the most heavily mined area in the world? What difference would a few new ones make?

    1. Maybe they’re nukes?

      1. +1 for obscure Dr. Strangelove reference (however unintentional it may have been)

    2. I certainly wouldn’t want that job. The area is heavily mined over the last 63 years. If I’m a 19 year old NK soldier, how much am I supposed to trust the record keeping on every little mine laid since long before my grandfather was born?

      Here kid, run out there in that field with a shovel and start digging holes to put mines in…..

      Yeah, that’s a crap job. Not ISIS suicide vest kid bad, but it is still a crap job.

      1. Dad and grandad probably did the same thing kid does: bin the map, dig a hole, and dump the mines there.

    3. It is kind of funny that they would waste time doing it.

      We watch every move they make anywhere near the border so we know where the mine fields are and we’ve already displayed that we have several technological options for rapidly clearing mine fields well enough to get troops across them if needed.

      IF it came to a shooting war those mines would represent maybe a 30 minute delay for out troops

      1. I’m curious as to our plan for taking out the big artillery parks that will be shelling the shit out of Seoul. Namely, whether we have tactical nukes tasked with taking them out instantly, or whether we will sacrifice thousands of South Koreans to maintain our moral purity.

        1. Hey I never said we should go to war or that it would be a good thing or without cost.

          I merely commented on the practicality of planting mine fields where the enemy can clearly see you doing it with constant aircraft and satellite observation when that enemy has already demonstrated numerous tactical options for rapidly clearing travel lanes through mine fields such as the use of Thermobaric bombs or rocket launched 100 meter cords of explosives that detonate any mines within 15 feet of them.

          A War with North Korea would be devastating to South Korea, that doesn’t change the fact that North Korea using mine fileds is a pointless tactic that could accomplish nothing.

  10. Add this to your Christmas wishlist:

    From Lovely Bottom (Tas) to Bullshit Hill (SA), from Pisspot Creek (Tas) to Titwobble Lane (Vic), via Pimple (Qld), Pensioners Bush (Tas) and Peculiar Nob (SA), now for the first time ever you can explore, discover and celebrate Australia’s truly world-class place names with ST&G’s latest wall map.

    1. I’ll see your Bullshit Hill and raise you Blackhead Signpost Road (nee Niggerhead Signpost Road) where members of Nat Turner’s rebellion had their heads piked for display.

      1. None of those top Big Bone Lick.

        1. Down the street from Beaverlick

        2. Meh, we’ve got Lickinghole Rd not far from here.

          1. In Louisville, Penile Rd and New Cut Rd intersect.

            Also Penile Baptist Church makes me giggle.

            1. They do snake handling?

              1. *smiles & nods head approvingly*

        3. Beaver Ruin Road

          1. It’s a shame to ruin a perfectly good beaver like that

        4. That’s not near Intercourse, PA.

          1. Nor Pee Pee, OH.

        5. I’ve been to both Punkin Holler, TX (no typo) and Bugtussle, TX.

        6. Honestly? they do. Big bone lick is low on that list.

    2. As soon as I cross back over Woman Hollering Creek and get back home, I’ll order the map.

    3. So – how long before someone in Australia’s government hears this, has a fainting spell, and starts demanding these names be changed to uphold Australia’s reputation in the international community?

      1. Fragile Flower, TAS.

        Headtilt, VIC.

        There will probably be riots over who gets to rename their burg “Safe Space”.

  11. Inspector General Confirms EPA Broke Law, Failed to Study Environmental Impact of Ethanol:

    The 2013 AP investigation characterized the use of ethanol as having a far more negative impact on the environment than the EPA and Dept. of Energy predicted. The AP reported that with corn effectively subsidized, farmers put millions of acres of land formerly devoted to conservation into corn production, destroying animal habitats and polluting water supplies.

    For its part, the EPA agreed with the IG that the agency failed to follow the law and produce the studies. The EPA said it will produce a report on the impacts of biofuels by the end of 2017 ? seven years late……

    The excuse the EPA gave the inspector general for its breaking of the law: it indeed produced one report for Congress on the effects of ethanol on the environment in December 2011, but ran out of money for future reports.

    1. I have a feeling that if you had given them an additional 10 billion dollars they would have had trouble coming to what promises to be an inconvenient conclusion for this administration in an election year.

      1. They were supposed to do it every year. They accidentally never got around to it. And nobody made them do it.

        It isn’t exactly a Social Security level 3rd rail, but farm subsidies are pretty untouchable.

    2. ran out of money

      Funny thing about that selective austerity.

      1. “Didn’t want to do it” would be too candid.

  12. Russia has lost its appeal and will therefore be banned from participating in next month’s Paralympic Games in Rio.

    They were planning on sending their able bodied Olympic athletes in mustaches and wheelchairs.

    1. Russia has lost its appeal

      Nuh-UH!

      1. Saying Nyet to that would be a crimea.

          1. In Soviet Russia, gaze narrows you!!

  13. According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they “would consider” voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

    I saw my first “Giant Meteor ’16” bumper sticker this morning. It’s happening!

    1. If the car had WI plates, it was mine.

      1. “‘Giant Meteor ’16’ bumper sticker” + “WI plates”

        You’re my brother??

    2. BTW, we have had several incidents of our dog barking like crazy and when we checked, it was people in our driveway taking pix.

      1. Had it been a Trump sticker your car would have been keyed.

    3. I thought I saw my first Hillary bumper sticker today, but on closer inspection it was a “Hillary for Prison” bumper sticker.

  14. Yesterday the California Supreme Court declined to review a lower court decision that upheld the state’s teacher tenure law.

    For the children.

    1. “Go be poor someplace else” -CSC

  15. Tisdale, Sask., officially changes ‘Land of Rape and Honey’ slogan

    After six decades, the town of Tisdale, Saskatchewan is no longer officially known as the “Land of Rape and Honey.” Instead, the north-central community is declaring that “Opportunity Grows Here.”

    Town officials voted unanimously last October to change the dated slogan. On Monday, the town unveiled its new slogan.

    “Our survey, our focus groups and the advice that we received from industry experts indicated it was time for an update,” said Tisdale director of economic development Sean Wallace in a statement.

    “Having a brand that is modern, unique and conveys an easily-understood message is paramount in today’s competitive environment.”

    1. Ministry hit hardest.

      1. dang you

      2. Hah! I already made that joke when someone posted the story yesterday, so I win.

        Well, I said Al Jourgensen, not Ministry, but close enough.

      1. It was a matter of mere seconds. Unlike ifh, who was a full minute late.

        1. Man’s time means nothing to me. I hew to the ancient rhythms of the seasons.

          1. But isn’t it permanently July there?

          2. So you’ll get around to it ever 28 days?

    2. “Opportunity Grows Here” is less likely to inspire an album title by Ministry, however

    3. STEVE SMITH ON WAY TO TISDALE, HAVE WORK CUT OUT FOR HIM.

      1. THEY CAN KEEP HONEY, STEVE SMITH MAKE LAND OF RAPE GREAT AGAIN!

    4. “We just couldn’t figure out why people didn’t want to move here, but the consultant had some helpful suggestions about modernizing our slogan and it made all the difference!”

    5. I vote for Cissnatchchewin’.

      1. Samsquatchewan.

        1. Samsquatchewan.

          *Warning! Picture of unfathomable cuteness! ‘BEETUS beaters be warned!*

          Indeed! I want to buy these for my daughters, the twins would look adorable in these in the stroller!

          1. STEVE SMITH DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE OFFSPRING FROM HIS BOUNTIFUL LOINS

    6. And “Land of Canola and Honey” doesn’t roll off the tongue.

      Also, did you know Ministry had an album by the same name?

    7. Is it too late to make yet another Ministry reference?

      1. have at it.

        1. Jesus built my hot rod

    8. “Having a brand that is modern, unique and conveys an easily-understood message is paramount in today’s competitive environment.”

      He’s saying that the slogan “land of rape and honey” *doesn’t* have these characteristics?

      1. I know. The old one is more unique and conveys a very easily understood message, compared to their rather bland new motto. God knows what they paid for it, too.

  16. Women are ‘genetically programmed to have affairs’

    Women are predisposed by their genetics to have affairs as “back-up plans'” if their relationships fail, according to a research paper.

    Scientists at the University of Texas say they are challenging the assumption that humans have evolved to have monogamous relationships.

    The team’s research has put forward the “mate-switching-hypothesis” which says humans have evolved to keep testing their relationships and looking for better long-term options.

    The senior author of the research, Dr David Buss, told the Sunday Times: “Lifelong monogamy does not characterise the primary mating patterns of humans.

    “Breaking up with one partner and mating with another may more accurately characterise the common, perhaps the primary, mating strategy of humans.”

    something something cucks!

    1. You’re horning in on Longtorso’s turf.

      1. A few weeks ago I was accused of being Longtorso. Note – I’m not a PUA by any stretch of the imagination. Women pick me up – well they used to. Not so much anymore. *kaff*

        1. Lose some weight, that should help.

          1. nice.

          2. nice.

            1. The fingers you’ve chosen to comment with are too fat, to obtain a special commenting wand, mash the keyboard with your palm now…

              1. *kicks Indy in the nuts*

                1. You shouldn’t kick me in the nuts. My mother kicked me in the nuts once.

                  1. Well I did do it in a loving fashion, all respectful ‘n’ stuff.

    2. Scientists at the University of Texas say they are challenging the assumption that humans have evolved to have monogamous relationships.

      Who was ever stupid enough to assume that?

    3. Humans, obviously, are not completely monogamous. But we do seem to be among the most monogamous animals. Even among some kinds of birds who supposedly “mate for life”, there is a lot going on on the side.

      Even though people might not pair off for life, it seems like you see a lot more serial monogamy than long term promiscuity.

    4. Indeed, the lips of the stranger drip honey,
      and her mouth is smoother than oil;

      But in the end she is as bitter as wormwood,
      as sharp as a two-edged sword.

      Her feet go down to death,
      her steps reach Sheol…

      Keep your way far from her,
      do not go near the door of her house,

      Lest you give your honor to others,
      and your years to a merciless one;

      Lest outsiders take their fill of your wealth,
      and your hard-won earnings go to another’s house;

      And you groan in the end,
      when your flesh and your body are consumed;

      And you say, “Oh, why did I hate instruction,
      and my heart spurn reproof!

      Why did I not listen to the voice of my teachers,
      incline my ear to my instructors!

      I am all but ruined,
      in the midst of the public assembly!”

      Drink water from your own cistern,
      running water from your own well….

      Let your fountain be blessed and have joy of the wife of your youth,

      your lovely hind, your graceful doe.
      Of whose love you will ever have your fill,
      and by her ardor always be intoxicated.

      Why then, my son, should you be intoxicated with a stranger,
      and embrace another woman?

      Indeed, the ways of each person are plain to the LORD’s sight;
      all their paths he surveys;

      By their own iniquities the wicked will be caught,
      in the meshes of their own sin they will be held fast;

      They will die from lack of discipline,
      lost because of their great folly.

      Proverbs 5:3-23 (NABRE)

      1. But in the end she is as bitter as wormwood

        Hey, I like absinthe!

      2. Isn’t it weird that someone anticipated this university research about the temptations of adultery by several thousand years?

        1. Dating tips from the Iron Age!

          1. Nowadays we’re more enlightened and bone our neighbors’ spouses with no ill effects!

            1. We really should go back to buying multiple wives with sheep like God intended…and then forbid for some reason.

              1. Yes, Christians and Jews only stopped practicing polygamy when Richard Dawkins shamed them into it.

                  1. When I think of the battle against polygamy, I am so grateful to the freethinkers and radicals who put an end to that practice!

                    /sarc

                    1. So you don’t really have an answer of why it was ok for Abraham to have multiple wives, but it’s not okay for me?

                    2. He had a special dispensation from God, what about you?

                    3. Really. Hold on.
                      *gets down on knees, pretends to pray*
                      Yup, I got one too. Now you can’t judge me. I’ll have some guy write it down and translated a bunch of time so people know it really happened 2000 years from now.

                    4. Congratulations – hopefully the nation which springs from your loins will compile records which will become a worldwide bestseller!

            2. There is a nearby Swedish mom neighbor I would like to invade get to know a little better.

              1. Did your ancestors come from Ireland, England, Orkneys, Northern France, Poland, Central Germany, Russia or Constantinople? You may be able convince her some in-kind reparations are in order!

    5. When I was working at Emory University in the 90’s one of the researchers there did a lot of work in this area.

      Her research showed that women the world over look to find the nice guy / provider type to marry. Then they have affairs with the bad-boy alpha types.

      Her research explained much of human behavior and the “7 year itch” that kills so many marriages. When you hear women say “he just isn’t romantic anymore” and things like that, what they are experiencing is a genetic program that makes them want to find another sperm donor so they have some genetic variability in their offspring. In a world where pair-bonds are important for economic viability, the strategy worked well for women. With our current world, they don’t need to stick around with the father, either economically or socially. So the pair-bond is weaker. But the genetic program to run out and find another sex partner is still there. So you get a 50% divorce rate.

      1. That’s a fancy way of saying ‘it’s her fault.’

        1. If you can’t keep your wife satisfied I’d say it’s your fault.

      2. “men are either providers or bad boys” is a ridiculous oversimplification that has little similarity to the real world.

        1. why can’t it be both?

        2. As a bad provider, i’m both!

        3. Yeah, well you only get 1,500 characters in a HnR post. Plus I’m operating from conversations that happened 20 years ago. Still, it captures the gist of her research.

          The point of which is: we are animals who are driven to very complex behaviors by our instincts. Instincts that we often do not recognize as such and mislabel as other things.

          Teasing these instinctual behaviors out from the noise is challenging and makes for interesting research.

      3. “So you get a 50% divorce rate.”

        50% divorce rate is a MYTH. It’s based on a single survey on a single year that showed that the amount of divorces THAT YEAR were one-half the amount of weddings on THAT YEAR. That survey does NOT show a 50% divorce rate no matter how much the fearmongers want to spin it that way.

        1. 50% divorce rate is a MYTH.

          CDC has it at 46%, so it’s pretty damn close.

          http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastat…..ivorce.htm

    6. “Women are predisposed by their genetics to have affairs as “back-up plans'” if their relationships fail…”

      That’s not an affair. That’s finding another relationship.

  17. North Korea has laid landmines in the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) between the two Koreas…

    On top of the ones already there?

    1. These ones are made of derivatives and US Treasuries.

      1. My God, they’re switching to the dangerous ones!

  18. Riddle of $1.3 Billion for Iran Might Relate to 13 Outlays Of Exactly $99,999,999.99:

    In March, in letters responding to questions about the Iran settlement sent weeks earlier by Representatives Edward Royce and Mike Pompeo, the State Department confirmed that the $1.3 billion “interest” portion of the Iran settlement had been paid out of the Judgment Fund. But State gave no information on the logistics.

    The 13 payments that may explain what happened are found in an online database maintained by the Judgment Fund. A search for “Iran” since the beginning of this year turns up nothing. But a search for claims in which the defendant is the State Department turns up 13 payments for $99,999,999.99.

    They were all made on the same day, all sharing the same file and control reference numbers, all certified by the U.S. Attorney General, but each assigned a different identification number. They add up to $1,299,999,999.87, or 13 cents less than the $1.3 billion Messrs. Obama and Kerry announced in January.

    1. The IRS should investigate this obvious case of structuring.

  19. Uh, Oh, Canada: 1,500 people on rafts returned to Michigan

    Canadian authorities stopped an invasion: 1,500 people on inflatable rafts and boats that drifted across the border from Michigan during high winds on the St. Clair River.

    The 7.5-mile Port Huron Float Down is an annual event on the river that divides Michigan from Ontario, Canada. But the winds turned it into an international incident Sunday.

    “The event has no official organizer and poses significant and unusual hazards given the fast-moving current, large number of participants, lack of life jackets, and as was the case this year, challenging weather conditions,” the Sarnia, Ontario, Police Service said on its website.

    Police said it took hours for a bus service, Sarnia Transit, to transport approximately 1,500 U.S. citizens back to Michigan.

    1. But if they had managed to get a foot on dry land, would they be able to immigrate?

      1. Only if they could claim to be victims of some sort of raft bigotry in the US.

        1. They’re already claiming scarcity bigotry elsewhere, how much more “Victim Status” can be considered?

    2. Since Tisdale changed its motto, the number of desperately poor Americans attempting the dangerous cross-St. Clair crossing has increased dramatically.

    3. Canada needs a wall.

  20. Russia has lost its appeal and will therefore be banned from participating in next month’s Paralympic Games in Rio.

    If this doesn’t cause Putin to be deposed, nothing will.

    1. It’s a country that has a national dish based on beets. What do you expect?

      1. Those fuckers eat fish eggs as well.

        1. Ikura is delicious. *Rubs wasabe in the jew’s eyes*

          1. Ikura is delicious. *Rubs wasabe in the jew’s eyes*.

            *pours ????? and ????? down straff’s gullet* No, it’s not; ????? is disgusting.

            The ????, however, is my favourite (the secret is lots o’ sour cream).

            1. *Carries print out of “???? ” to Kazakh grocer. Shows note.*

              Thanks for getting me my ass kicked, Groovus.

              1. Thanks for getting me my ass kicked, Groovus.

                Beet soup didn’t get your ass kicked; being a living, breathing, James Clavell “John Blackthorne” Trope with the kimono did the trick.

                1. One of my favorite series. Best part, “What do you think I am? A god cursed sodomite!”, delivered by a gay actor.

                2. Um, I not that type gaijin. Think chain smokin’, pachinko playin’, “think they Chinese massage girl on the corner works for barter”, type gaijin.

                  1. Think chain smokin’, pachinko playin’, “think they Chinese massage girl on the corner works for barter”, type gaijin.

                    So, basically, John Blackthorne before he got all totally Nippon-ised and Pussified…

                    1. If I ever go dances with wolves, scalp me. Seems to be a misconception about Japanese men going around. They are pussies until they aren’t. They’ve got two settings: Hai, Hai.OOOsan. or Bataan death march.

                    2. They’ve got two settings: Hai, Hai.OOOsan. or Bataan death march.

                      So noted! It’s just when they got through with Blackthorne, he stayed on the “Hai, Hai.OOOsan” setting, whilst all those badass samurai got to revel in their demonstrable badassery.

                      I assure you, I don’t mistake “polite” for “weak, wilted lotus”.

                    3. Indeed. Being polite is one way of showing strength.

            2. I know what kvass and kefir are. Not sure on ikral (or if I’m remembering my cyrillic letters all properly).

              1. On further investigation, it seems to be either caviar or eggplant paste.

                1. it seems to be…caviar

                  Zebulon wins kewpie doll!

          2. *Rubs wasabe in the jew’s eyes*

            These euphemisms are getting cross-cultural.

  21. Gross:

    Why pay a fortune to have a professional dog groomer shampoo your four-legged beast when Central Park is already filled with dozens of little sinks, perfectly adapted for scrubbing your pet’s anus? Like petite puppy bidets, the push of a button sends a cool burst of water arcing upward?you may have seen other park goers use the stream for their mouths to quench their thirst on a hot day! But you will use them to scrape fecal matter from your dog’s matted butt fur.
    Emily Leisz Carr witnessed the above appalling scene on Tuesday evening, near the park’s softball fields. There were actually two dogs present, the other of which was left to drag its leash listlessly about while its owner set to the task of deep cleaning its pal’s rectum. (Asked whether she was washing the whole dog, Carr specified that it was distinctly “butt oriented.”) It wasn’t until another dog owner approached the woman, several minutes into her session, to yell at her about “hygiene” and “human people put their faces there” that she seemed to realize her behavior was in any way questionable.

    1. Anyone who is stupid enough to actually put their mouth near a fountain in Central Park deserves whatever they get.

    2. Sometimes I think public asskickings should come back in style.

    3. Nalano635 bluecanary1 ? 2 years ago

      I propose we beat her with a rolled-up newspaper.

  22. A despite plea for more annoying hippie houses.

    Their house eventually sheltered more than a half-dozen people, and they called it Picklebric, a portmanteau derived from one housemate’s pickling operation and Winter’s conception of the place as bricolage, a term for art composed of found objects (their roommates, a piano from the 1893 World’s Fair, a backyard fence built from chicken wire and firewood).

    Obligatory Onion: Marxists’ Apartment A Microcosm Of Why Marxism Doesn’t Work

    1. As much as hippies give me hives, they were sticking it to The Man. Also, does this mean group houses are not a thing in the US? Extraordinary…

      1. Most “four unrelated adults living in a single dwelling ” laws were originally about making brothels illegal.

        But, no, they aren’t very popular. And we only have a housing crisis in the sense that some people can’t live exactly where they want to live for the low price they are willing to pay. It’s the same way I have a Porsche crisis.

        1. It’s the same way I have a Porsche crisis.

          Good Lord, you too? We should form a support group.

        2. It’s the same way I have a Porsche crisis.

          This by the way was the actual rationale for the New Jersey Supreme Court’s Mt. Laurel decision, requiring “affordable” housing. Basically they decided “everyone has the right to live wherever they want, whether or not they can afford it“. Basically the same as saying everyone has a right to drive whatever car they want, whether or not they can afford it.

        3. And I have a vacation home in Hawaii problem.

    2. If it works for some people, great. It’s a ridiculous restriction.

    3. As far as I can tell your entire enterprise is no more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.

  23. There’s no such thing as a double standard.

    Police Officer David Knapp doesn’t remember how he wound up in a private area of the Ritz-Carlton beach hotel parking garage with his infant child in his arms ? or the fight he started with a security guard who questioned what he was doing there.

    Knapp, 33, who was off duty and described as “extremely intoxicated” during the Oct. 20 event, is facing a 20-day suspension without pay for actions unbecoming a police officer and conduct prejudicial to the good order of the department.

    […]

    Knapp, who suffered head injuries during the altercation, told investigators he had no recollection of the incident. When asked why, Knapp said, “It could be anything from being tired to being, uh ? having had alcohol to having unfortunate injuries due to the event.”

    Ramirez declined to press battery charges against Knapp and prosecutors decided not to press the case because they said the evidence showed Knapp was too drunk for them to prove he intentionally struck Ramirez.

    Always true of anyone that would beat up a security guard while drunk, I’m sure.

    1. The security guards are lucky they weren’t charged with assault of a police officer.

  24. FBI Investigating Possible ISIS-Inspired Knife Attack in Virginia

    Farooqui was arrested Saturday by Roanoke County Police on charges of assault with malicious wounding, and he’s being held without bond at the Western Virginia Regional Jail, according to the sources and a jail database.

    During the Saturday stabbing, Farooqui allegedly injured a man and woman at an apartment complex in Roanoke, yelling “Allah Akbar” as he attacked them with a knife, sources told ABC News.

    Authorities believe he may have been trying to behead the male victim, who was likely picked at random, ABC News was told.

    Farooqui and his two alleged victims were hospitalized after the attack. Their conditions were not clear.

    Damn Lutherans!

    1. The victims can be comforted by the fact that they were statistically more likely to be injured by slipping in their shower.

    2. This was clearly a bad case of Mental Illness.

  25. With moderate drinking under fire, alcohol companies go on offensive

    At a brewers’ conference this spring, an alcohol lobbyist fired a warning shot in what has become a multimillion-dollar global battle. Public-health officials “want to tell you that alcohol causes cancer,” Sarah Longwell, managing director of the American Beverage Institute, told the crowd. The industry, she said, was in danger of losing its “health halo.”

    For decades, beer, wine and liquor producers have been helped by a notion, enshrined in a number of governments’ dietary advice, that a little alcohol can provide modest coronary and other health benefits.

    Rapidly, that advice is shifting as health-policy officials around the world scrutinize their previous advice in the light of research pointing to possible cancer risks.

    The change is pressuring the alcohol industry in some of its biggest markets, including the U.S., the U.K. and Russia. Its response is as expensive and sprawling as the threat it perceives, including attacking anti-alcohol advocates’ research and working with governments to formulate policy.

    1. At this point, I’m pretty sure that evidence points to every substance on earth both causing and reducing your risk of cancer.

      1. Well, since OJ reduces the risk of cancer, we’ll just go with screwdrivers and call it even.

        1. Death by knifing eliminates any risk of cancer.

      2. “The dose makes the poison.”

      3. It sounds like living is the primary cause of cancer.

    2. Moderate drinking is under fire? I kind of wish that would happen in Minneapolis. Everywhere I go I have to push through crowds of craft-beer swilling dipshits. Every park, every street festival, every event: brewery trucks, beer gardens, craft beer, craft beer, craft beer, and all the adults who are enjoying it in “moderation”. I’m kind of over it. I’m fine with people drinking whatever they want, even wherever they want, but the last few years…just taking my kids to a park on a Sunday afternoon involves navigating through a crowd of drunks that are apparently considered acceptable because they are upper middle class and got drunk on locally brewed craft beer.

      1. You sound like you could use a drink.

        1. Ha ha! Lol! Being an obnoxious drunk is so hip and cool!

  26. Merkel Says Brexit Is U.K.’s Loss While Pledging EU Results

    German Chancellor Angela Merkel said the European Union needs to show it can prosper without the U.K. as she and the leaders of France and Italy sought to chart a way forward for Europe.

    “We respect Britain’s decision but naturally also want to make it clear that the other 27 are working for a prosperous, safe Europe,” said Merkel, standing alongside President Francois Hollande and Prime Minister Matteo Renzi on an Italian aircraft carrier to show resolve in mastering the continent’s crises. “We need results,” she said.

    The leaders of the three biggest euro-area economies met aboard the Giuseppe Garibaldi on Monday as concern mounts in the EU that its post-World War II construction is ill-equipped to deal with 21-century challenges. Even before the British exit referendum in June, the union was being buffeted by economic turmoil, a migration crisis, rising anti-EU populism and a surge in terrorism.

    You know who else lost in Britain…

    1. Richard III?

    2. Harold Godwinson?

    3. Paddington Bear?

    4. Lennox Lewis?

    5. Australia on the last Ashes tour?

    6. Bonnie Prince Charlie?

    7. William Wallace?

    8. The monks at Lindesfarne?

    9. Frankie Four Fingers?

    10. Harald Hardrada?

  27. “Bring me a fresh young slut,” Donald rumbled, his short thick fingers grooming his stiff and wiry chest hair idly.

    “We’ve run out, sir,” his body slave whispered, his hands trembling.

    “Run out? Impossible. Get Yuri on the phone.”

    “The next shipment won’t be ready until next week.”

    “Next week? I’ll carpet-bomb Kiev before I wait that long. I’ll spend my fuck on you before I wait that long.” A languid backhand caught the slave in the face and knocked him into the swirling filth below Donald’s makeshift throne.

    “America has gone soft. I will make it strong again. I will. No one else!” He spat on the slave. “Bring me someone from the trolling pool.”

    “But sir?”

    “Someone useless, but not too fucked out yet.”

    The slave struggled to stand and Donald pushed him back down in the miasma of fast food wrappers, empty Viagra bottles, amyl nitrate capsules, Sephora samples, turds, half-eaten bagels, jizz-filled taco bowls, steaming, bubbling, gurgling pools of luminous piss and deadly eggs shat out of Hillary black and dead womb that had been softboiled, cracked, and scooped out for an endless brunch of delicious madness. She sent one or two every day now. Donald knew he would never die.

    1. The slave crawled away. As he reached the door, Donald screamed “Send in my advisors!”

      Two cruelly twisted dwarves hurried into the throne room bearing the hat and the hair separately on gilt trays. Donald ignored them lavishly as he spent a full five minutes picking his nose and inspecting carefully what he found.

      “He not been right since that first egg,” the hair whispered.

      “He’s fine. It’s just a pivot.”

      1. Today’s story was especially juicy. You must have worked on this a long time for such a fragrant emission.

      2. OMG WHERE ARE HAT AND HAIR???

      3. steaming, bubbling, gurgling pools of luminous piss and deadly eggs shat out of Hillary black and dead womb that had been softboiled, cracked, and scooped out for an endless brunch of delicious madness.

        *WILD APPLAUSE*

        You sir, are truly a poet for our time.

    2. The slave struggled to stand and Donald pushed him back down in the miasma of fast food wrappers, empty Viagra bottles, amyl nitrate capsules, Sephora samples, turds, half-eaten bagels, jizz-filled taco bowls, steaming, bubbling, gurgling pools of luminous piss

      Somehow, *this* is how I always pictured Baron Vladimir Harkonnen’s bed chambers.

      1. I think the description of the junk pile ran too long.

        1. Everyone’s a critic.

        2. He was inspired by George R.R. Martin’s food soliloquies.

    1. Would love to know how they distinguish ‘official’ from ‘personal and those borderline emails.

      Is there a guy sitting there giving a thumbs up or down for each email?

  28. I thought this was worth sharing.

  29. US Air Force reveals radical plan to ‘bomb the sky’

    See? SEE?! Those chemtrail “kooks” were RIGHT!

    1. You can’t take the sky from me.

    2. . . . working to develop a way to vaporize metal by heating it beyond its boiling point.

      Uhm, I thought this was long ago a solved problem. Add enough energy and bam! Your metal is heated beyond the boiling point, at which point it vaporizes automatically.

      I mean, its not like there’s any other way to get a vapor – even if you change the boiling point (say by changing pressure) – its not going ot vaporize unless its hotter than the current boiling point.

      Fucking ‘science’ writers man.

      And the commenters man – “it would certainly help elf signals to our boomer subs”

  30. 80% of Americans don’t think minorities are stupid.

    http://hotair.com/archives/201…..r-id-laws/

  31. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic…..hives.html

    Vince Foster files vanish from the national archives. WTF?

    1. That ZANY Sandy Berger!

    2. I’m not checking Sandy Berger’s pants, get somebody else to do it.

    3. Refs unperson. Doubleplusungood.

    4. What kind of half assed outfit disappears a person. Um…

    5. What a sad story.

      This is the first explanation of the Vince Foster suicide that I’ve read that makes sense.

      What a vicious witch Hillary Clinton is.

  32. Huffpo is here to tell husbands that we are all terrible, which is why we never get laid:

    Otherwise, you need to chill out. That is my professional recommendation. Stop with the candles and the poetry. You probably make your wife feel inferior on a regular basis just by virtue of your job and your can-do attitude. Now you’re out-romantic-ing her too.

    If you can’t pull back and be happy with your twice a month sex till she’s at least 6 months post-breastfeeding, then get thee to a couples counselor stat. This problem isn’t just her. In this whole question/essay, which I edited down incidentally, there was nothing about anything that YOU may contribute to this or any other marital issue. I suggest you use that massive brain and all that energy to write down a list of ten things that make you annoying to live with. If anything has a chance of getting you laid, it would be that list, although it would be necrophilia because, after receiving this list, your wife would likely drop dead of shock.

    1. “there was nothing about anything that YOU may contribute to this or any other marital issue”

      Hey, this person’s been talking to me wife!

    2. She sounds like such a joy to live with. The comments are horrifying. It is an enormous collection of shrewish women and utterly emasculated men.

      1. He said it was huffpo, what more warning do you want?

        1. Yeah, I was asking for it. But still, holy cow those people are hideous.

    3. No wonder women are so miserable. They read tripe like this.

      1. you might say the same about libertarian men

        1. No way, porn, ass sex and Mexican food is the key to happiness.

        2. Speak for yourself, dudebro.

        3. It’s just so spiteful and self-congratulatory. It reads like something I heard from mom during their divorce.

    4. See my post above about the genetic drivers of mating behavior in humans. That massive drop-off in sexual attraction is there by design.

      But because we are very good at rationalization, she’s going to assign blame for her feelings to some place outside of herself. So good luck with that.

    5. ” You probably make your wife feel inferior on a regular basis just by virtue of your job and your can-do attitude. Now you’re out-romantic-ing her too.”

      Right, because women prefer men who have shitty jobs, a defeatist attitude and make no romantic gestures. She’s blaming the guy because he’s too good? Seems like she’s really saying “why can’t you be a surly deadbeat, because that’s how I picture all men anyways?”

    6. Shorter = JUST CHEAT. YOU CANT WIN.

  33. Anti-Trump operatives targeted in online ‘catfishing’ scheme

    Steven Wessel is a convicted con man with a Big Apple flair, feigning connections to Ronald Reagan and pretending to be an Oxford man while bilking rich Manhattanites of $750,000. But his last scam before heading to prison this spring targeted a very different kind of mark: Republican operatives opposed to Donald Trump.

    And now those operatives are wondering who put Wessel up to it.

    Assuming a variety of fake online identities, including that of a female solicitor in England, Wessel gushed in emails, phone calls and Twitter messages about (made-up) extramarital affairs with the likes of the late Lee Atwater, showered marks with gift cards to the swanky Mandarin Oriental, and invited them to go pheasant-hunting in Scotland ? all in an apparent attempt to glean more about the operatives and their intentions regarding Trump. That was until federal prosecutors learned of the activity and a judge revoked Wessel’s bail in April, sending him to prison to begin serving a 55-month sentence ahead of schedule.

    1. Okay, so what he was doing wasn’t actually illegal. It just violated his probation…yeah, I’m not fully comfortable with that. Some things like if you’re out on probation for raping a 6 year old, you get sent back to jail if you can’t avoid hanging out on a playground I’m good with, but this just seems vindictive.

      1. Or, to pull an example totally out of thin air, using a pseudonym to publish inflammatory videos.

  34. One week later, maybe Lochte was kind of robbed at gunpoint by security guards:

    A Brazilian judge says police might have been hasty in determining the security guards, by how they dealt with the swimmers, did not commit a robbery. A lawyer who has practiced in Brazil for 25 years says she does not think the actions of Lochte and teammate Jimmy Feigen constitute the filing of a false police report as defined under Brazilian law.
    An extensive review of surveillance footage by a USA TODAY Sports videographer who also visited the gas station supports swimmer Gunnar Bentz’s claim that he did not see anyone vandalize the restroom, an allegation that in particular heightened media portrayals of the four as obnoxious Americans behaving recklessly in a foreign country. Meanwhile, Rio authorities have declined to identify the guards or offer any details beyond confirming they are members of law enforcement who were working a private security detail.

    1. Someone suggested that what happened was that the police or security guards were trying to shake them down for a bribe and they didn’t catch on, so they thought it was some really weird kind of robbery (which I guess it would be).
      That’s starting to seem pretty likely.

      1. That was my thought from the beginning. What reason would he have to make up that he was robbed? This is how police in places like that work. The real failing here is the American embassy. The embassy should have gone to the Brazilian authorities and said “look, this shit isn’t going to happen to our athletes. You give us the name and number of someone who will get these idiots’ attention”. Then they should have given every athlete a card with that name and number on it and told them “if anyone with a badge hassles you, give them this card and say you suggest they give this person a call”. It would have put an end to any bullshit like this very quickly.

        1. But that would make Brazil look like a 3rd world hell hole! And be double plus ungoodthink!

        2. Not a chance. Obama’s diplomats are nothing if not scraping, obsequious, self-dealing cretins.

        3. Pretty much, robbery and bribing to avoid unreasonable punishment are pretty much the same thing.

    2. He was robbed by connected people and when he reported the robbery, the crooked cops charged him with lying to the police. That is how things work is corrupt shitholes like Brazil.

      1. Cops will be cops.

        And elite athletes will be arrogant.

    3. Not surprising. Look at how they bumbled through Arturo Gatti’s death.

  35. WVU equity office calls improper pronoun use a Title IX violation

    West Virginia University’s website says calling someone by the wrong gender pronoun could be a Title IX violation, but a university spokesperson asserts that the page does not represent WVU policy.

    “You have the right to be called by the name and pronouns consistent with your gender identity,” WVU’s Equity Assurance Office tells students. “You have the right to be treated according to the gender you identify with.”

    WVU Title IX Coordinator James Goins, Jr., however, maintains that this is a “misrepresentation of WVU and Title IX policy,” telling Campus Reform that the guidelines are on the website for informational purposes only, and were pulled from the National Center for Transgender Equality.

    Goins confirmed that the Title IX office investigates instances of discrimination and harassment, but declared that WVU would “absolutely not” launch a Title IX investigation over a complaint about a student or faculty member using an improper pronoun.

    1. “You have the right to be called by the name and pronouns consistent with your gender identity,”

      No. I have the right to call you whatever the hell I want. You don’t have to like it.

      1. I’ll just call everyone shitstain.

        1. How about a compromise: xitstain.

        2. “That’s ‘Xitstain’ to *you*!”

          1. Fucking xirrels!

      2. You have the right to be called by the name and pronouns consistent with your gender identity

        You certainly do. And you have every right to attempt to voluntarily arrange your affairs to make that happen.

        But its a *right* – which puts no obligation on me to provide any assistance at all.

        You have a 1st amendment right to free speech, free exercise of religion, and free association – which does not obligate me to provide you a platform for your view, pay for your church, or associate with you.

        You have a 2nd amendment right to self-defense – which does not obligate me to defend you.

        Do you get how rights work?

        1. Do you get how rights work?

          No. No, they do not.

    2. After visiting/partying with my brother who went their and routinely going to football games, there is no way they could ever enforce these type of stupid fucking rules on that particular student body without people burning the buildings to the ground like they do to their couches/vt buses.

    3. Well, since Title IX addresses sex, and since the proggies tell us gender is separate from sex, then Title IX clearly does not apply here.

    4. So whoever wrote that on their website is on notice right? Misrepresenting the school rules could be costly.

    5. Fucking hell, can’t we just all switch to speaking Persian already?? Or Arabic?? Let’s just nip this in the bud and switch to a language that doesn’t gender pronouns. Problem solved. You won’t get sued and no one can feel entitled to make up their own “unique” pronouns.

  36. Another guy just saying hi.

    http://hotair.com/archives/201…..or-attack/

    1. Witnesses told police that during the attack Farooqui was yelling “Allah Akbar.”

      I wonder if people are so conditioned to hearing about similar incidents in the news that the witnesses are just assuming that he said it.

      1. That’s stretching it a little I reckon.

        1. EUPHEMISMS!

    1. Another bullshit victim of the WoD.

    2. “Wise Intelligent Supreme God Allah”

      Is that his actual name or is it just, like, the English translation of an Arabic name?

      And can we do that with ALL names now??

      What do you guys think of President Blessed Handsome To Lean??

      Who do you guys want to win the election?? Cheerful Red Harbor Hill Settlement or Ruler Of The World God Is Gracious Trump Card?? Or you guys going with a third party like Spear Nobleman Son Of God Is Gracious or Feminine Downy Bearded Torch Rock or even One Who Came From Airelle Fortified Structure??

      1. President Shaka When The Walls Fell approves this message.

  37. According to the head of the Philippines police, more than 1,900 people have been killed in a drug war crackdown in that country over the past seven weeks.

    Okay, sure, but how many thousands more died from overdoses?

    1. Tot of Circs

    2. Deaf dogs are doubly fucked

    3. the North Carolina Highway Patrol said that the trooper tried to pull over a Volvo for speeding.

      Deaf guy in a Volvo, I know, I know, It’s really seeeerious.

    4. “An encounter took place between the driver and the trooper causing a shot to be fired,” the report said.

      Seriously? The encounter caused the shot to be fired? The trooper didn’t intentionally draw his gun on his victim, take aim, and pull the trigger? Wasn’t that what really caused the shot to be fired?

      If troopers are unable to control their firearms from discharging during encounters, perhaps they should be disarmed.

  38. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic…..ances.html

    Fox News is a Sex Cult!! If I were to start a sex cult, Tantaros would definitely get an invitation to join.

    1. O’Reilly is a known perv with a penchant for phone sex.

      1. Heh, the magic moment IMO was when he fantasised about some woman in the shower rubbing a falafel all over herself.

        1. XVideos has an incredible selection of falafel porn. Not that I personally would know anything about that.

      2. He strikes me as a complete creep. So that doesn’t surprise me.

    2. I suspect your sex cult would have many throbbing members.

      1. +1 Eyes Wide Shut.

    3. Hmmm still not seeing any EEOC claims from any of these bitches

      1. Yes. Put it under oath or shut the fuck up about it.

        1. Tantaros only started making claims about this after she published a book in violation of her contract and got dismissed for breach of contract, and even then only made the claims after Gretchen Carlson’s claims came to light.

          1. If it happened, I have nothing good to say about Alles in company. But, how am I supposed to know that it happened? Make a complain to the EEOC and put your charge under oath. Otherwise, why the hell should I believe you?

    4. If I were to start a sex cult, Tantaros would definitely get an invitation to join.

      Yes.

  39. Leaked Docs: Soros Aims to Enlarge Electorate by 10 Million Voters by 2018

    The guide covers strategies and tactics the group will employ in the United States from 2015 to 2018. The top goals listed by the guide are to “advance electoral reform” and “combat suppression.”

    “The following four goals form the scaffolding of U.S. Programs’ work,” the guide states. “1. An American democracy strengthened through increased meaningful participation, inclusive practice, and accountability.” The third strategic goal expands upon this, calling for “Full political, economic, and civic participation of immigrants and communities of color by dismantling the barriers and strengthening the conduits to opportunity.”

    Later, the guide discusses expanding the electorate by “at least 10 million voters” in the United States. This would be accomplished “by lowering barriers to voter registration through the various forms of modernization and increased ballot access while sustaining and expanding the franchise by establishing strong protections against vote suppression, denial and dilution.”

    1. But really, they have no agenda behind importing millions of “immigrants and refugees” from 3rd world shitholes, and providing illegals a “path to citizenship”. It’s all just altruism on their part.

  40. According to a new poll, 32 percent of likely voters said they “would consider” voting for Libertarian Gary Johnson.

    In other news, 25% of likely voters pretend to be “open-minded” because they crave the approval of strangers.

  41. Fucking recaps don’t always have to drip blood and consternation haze. Emotional symmetry is necessitated by the winds of reality.

    1. I take it you recently had a terrible experience at the dentist’s office, yes, AC?

      1. I’m just fascinated by the idea that the winds of reality blow anywhere near AC

        1. He’s a beautiful starchild only here to sample our earthly delights.

  42. Yesterday the California Supreme Court declined to review a lower court decision that upheld the state’s teacher tenure law.

    Tenure is required for freedom of inquiry and freedom of speech. It protects teachers from dismissal unless they do something egregious like saying something that triggers or otherwise offends the gentle sensibilities of the fragile snowflakes in their charge.

    1. As bad as tenure is, I fear getting rid of it might be worse. The assumption is that ending tenure would enable schools to fire bad teachers. The problem with that is that I at least see no reason to believe school administrators would actually do that. Given their track record, they would likely fire the few good teachers that remain in the system. The schools are so far gone at this point, there is really no fixing them.

      1. Mom was a high school teacher. She pored over her curricula every year and helped guide departmental policy. It routinely brought her into conflict with administrators over complaints from parents that she was too demanding. A few years ago as the mandates became more and more ossifying, she gave up and retired. I have no doubt the union preserved her job, incidentally if not intentionally.

        1. I suspect there are a lot of teachers like your mom. The only fix to the schools is full on school choice. Put the responsibility of educating kids back on the parents where it belongs.

          1. Exactly. Unions are a problem, but also a symptom of broader problems vis-a-vis competition.

            fwiw mom never participated in or called on the union, and resented paying dues. She was a Reagan Republican before becoming a demented, selective prog, mostly on squishy green issues. I can’t discuss GMOs at all with her. But she still hates the union.

    2. I’m really confused by this application of tenure to public school teachers. They don’t even design their own curriculum. They don’t present original research. They don’t do any of that.

      They teach the district-approved curriculum and try their best to augment it and make the drivel engaging for their charges if they have any motivation as teachers. Exactly how often is that going to bump up against the need for tenure?

      1. Part of it is so they can’t get fired for giving Johnny Football or Sally Mayorsdottir a failing grade, the thing is however that school choice also solves that problem too.

  43. Within the folds of a sanguine globe borders impede organic coalescence between societies. So when this fucking spinning bullshit of a planet morphs into a perpetual state of widespread rubicundity erasing the walls will be a natural progression. Until then, efficiently, respectfully, and cautiously manage travelers, invaders, and trotters across the curbs and chasms some of which have been designed as bulwarks against the destabilization of civilization innovation.

  44. I’ve heard a couple different people say that there is evidence that whites living near black neighborhoods have been shown to support Trump much more than other whites. Googled it and the only thing I got was a lame Stormfront link. May be true, but I can’t find it.

    1. If the correlation exists, it’s probably more class related than anything else.

      1. Would doubt that. These “studies” never seem to exist.

        1. Wouldn’t*

      2. Because not living around black people is a luxury that poorer whites can’t afford?

        1. Revealed preferences.

        2. Sort of? My understanding is that people do tend to self-segregate when they have a choice of where to live, preferring neighborhoods that are predominantly their ethnic group (eg, no more than 20% ‘other’ or something like that) and those choices compound over time to create neighborhoods that are wholly segregated.

          Being poor means you have less choice in the matter, so it’s probably more what SF said.

          NIH Link

          1. I’m reading a book by the infamous Charles Murray about class segregation as a new and worrisome phenomenon. He lays out the case that the wealthy of previous generations were more integrated and less influential than the new breed of cognitive elite brought about from the sixties on, comprised of high-profile managers, technologists, attorneys, politicians, and media men. These people are not merely segregating but intermarrying and bringing up children to be elites. It’s nothing new, but Murray does the Murray thing, purporting to show that the “narrow elite” is in fact breeding for higher IQ and amassing runaway wealth which has greatly departed from past norms. The latter isn’t really news: income disparity for the top decile has indeed taken off stratospherically.

            I haven’t finished the book, so haven’t gotten to what precisely makes this trend worrisome, but I can take a guess: this new class of decision-makers and influence-peddlers is overwhelmingly proggy, and they less and less represent the traditions and concerns of the untermensch over whom they reign. They cohabit a sphere of smug lefty intellectualism divorced from reality and reify their worldview by exiling dissent. That’s a guess and Murray is an insistent academic so it may not be so partisan, but in any event it’s my concern.

            1. Fishville book, right? I was wondering how he would address the regression to the mean that would drag the IQ back down.

              1. Coming Apart. I’m not a stats guy, but to explain briefly: he contends that the broad elite (the top decile or so of the population) is indeed subject to regression to the mean, but the narrow elite at the very top really does represent the cream of the crop and have effectively raised the mean IQ of their children because their own range of IQ is so high. It doesn’t matter if e.g. the mayor of Omaha marries a dullard, even though s/he’s an influential member of the local elite, but you’d better bet a Harvard academic needs a spouse capable of making informed, cultured tete-a-tete at a college function. And so on.

                I’m not an IQ guy, either, so I’ll leave it to Murray to defend his thesis. Whatever the case, I think he’s right on the money about class segregation as a sociological and political phenomenon.

                1. I’ve listened to a lecture of his where he talks about it. It really is eye opening. Almost sounds like he’s going to go socialist when he lays out the case. The CEO used to marry his average Jane secretary, but now has to, as you pointed out, choose a mate that is more an intellectual heavy weight. When I heard that I couldn’t help but think of what may have happened if Agassi and Graff had a kid with Down’s syndrome that just kicked everybody’s ass but had to be told when the match was over.

                  1. To me (and I admit it’s why I like the theory), it’s another argument for devolution: high IQ is no better a determinant of sound policy than the high dudgeons of earlier eras, and the body politic should be no more impressed nor cowed by an intellectual elite than it was by the moral rectitude of the Temperance movement. They can’t be reasoned out of a position they never reasoned themselves into, and the socialist/fascist tendencies they parade about as a mark of intellectual distinction are mostly matters of received wisdom.

                    1. Sure, high IQ doesn’t guarantee you’ll get good leadership. However, you do need a relatively high IQ to understand complex economic issues. By funneling all the big brains into cloistered leftist circles, the rest of society is left with fewer smarties to fight the state. Imagine if Krugman or Chomski were on our side. They may be assholes and wrong, but what a waste.

            2. the “narrow elite” is in fact breeding for higher IQ

              IQ, if i remember correctly, does not have a strong heritable component.

              Some, but its variable enough that the advantage is washed out after ~2 generations.

              I can’t remember when i went over this (i think in college), but the short of it was, if IQ were any stronger, it would have resulted in far more apparently class-stratification by now than actually exists. Instead, we can find IQs of 175+ (“genius”) as equally among the very poorest as the super-rich.

              too bored to find a paper supporting this. but i thought it was pretty well-established.

              1. The first section of the book makes the case that earlier elites didn’t face the same pressure to marry similar elites, and intermarrying lower classes was more common than among today’s influential elite. The IQ component is the weakest of the arguments he’s advanced so far. He makes a far better case for their sociological/political incest.

                1. His strongest argument is for “superzips”, zip codes where the culture-making moguls and intellectuals congregate, and how insulated they are in enclaves representing the 99th-percentile of wealth surrounded by zip codes typically no lower than the 95th. This sort of thing simply didn’t exist in America before the 60s: wealthy neighborhoods have been around forever, but they were gated communities and mansion drives in throwing distance of middle class neighborhoods and slums. Whether he gets around to showing exactly how this distality shapes their worldview, I’m not sure, but he makes a good case that their worldview skews very progressive.

    2. That sounds like the kind of thing that people repeat because it confirms their biases.

      Anecdotally, the heaviest concentration of Trump signs i’ve seen in East Virginia is at the North End of Virginia Beach, and the only black person those people have ever seen in real life is Al Roker during a hurricane.

      1. the heaviest concentration of Trump signs i’ve seen in East Virginia is at the North End of Virginia Beach

        East Virginia?

      2. “Anecdotally, the heaviest concentration of Trump signs i’ve seen in East Virginia is at the North End of Virginia Beach, and the only black person those people have ever seen in real life is Al Roker during a hurricane.”

        Beach Week might be more than enough black interaction.

        1. Beach Week shenanigans take place at the Boardwalk, which is like fifty blocks south.

          1. Still too close. I hear the police keep upping their presence though.

    3. “I’ve heard a couple different people say that there is evidence that whites living near black neighborhoods have been shown to support Trump much more than other whites. Googled it and the only thing I got was a lame Stormfront link. May be true, but I can’t find it.”

      I don’t know about Trump support but a study was done when housing projects are put in mostly white neighborhoods; turns out Dems will turn Republican fairly quickly. The reverse was also true though, removing them from a Republican neighborhood led to it becoming more Democratic.

  45. In a loss for students and taxpayers,

    “California Supreme Court decision keeps teacher tenure protections”
    […]
    “Teachers have long argued that tenure protects them from being fired on a whim, preserves academic freedom and helps attract talented teachers to a profession that doesn’t pay well.”
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016…..tions.html

    That should more properly read “… have long lied…”

    1. Ooops. Late to the party again…

      1. THERE’S ALREADY AN OFFICIAL LINK.

        1. (hangs head, kicks at pebble)

  46. Oceans of remarkabilities ejaculate possibility-tsunamis from the depths of our consciousness, companions. We live so fucking limited and circular buried under modern attempts to organize the masses under the strain of repetitious social sciences and structures proven long ago to have failed. Societies eat themselves every fucking day on the tablets of history refusing to transcend because of goddamn pride. It takes fucking humility and a hunger for far horizons to scrap the tangled splintered profusion of perpetual back-stepping. The windows are old but the view never changes.

    1. Good morning Agile.

    2. Ya man, totally.

  47. I saw a thing where some jackasses were ruminating about what questions would be asked at the debates and it occurred to me that if I had a chance to ask the candidates one important question it would be “Am I the only one who knows how to shut a fucking door in this goddamn house?”

  48. Healther!

    Warning: auto-play video

    Much in the way “birthers” (Trump was among the most prominent) sought similar ends by questioning President Barack Obama’s citizenship, the “healthers” are using junk science and conspiracy theories to argue that Clinton is suffering from a series of debilitating brain injuries.

    1. The good news, if you want to call it that, is that if Hillary is too sick to govern, then Kaine can take over – our Constitution at least provides for a spare tire.

    2. As if the crimes and indiscretions she commits knowingly and capably aren’t damning enough.

      1. And hey, if the speculation is correct maybe she’ll be a real-life Aerys. Incinerating the capital wouldn’t be the worst outcome of her presidency.

    3. Seriously. We need to focus on the serious questions, like whether Donald Trump is a Soviet plant.

    4. Much in the way “birthers” (Trump was among the most prominent) sought similar ends by questioning President Barack Obama’s citizenship,

      I love how they conveniently forget Hillary’s role in starting the whole ‘birther’ thing.

      1. I expect no less from them.

  49. English wine makers like Brexit

    Warning: auto-play video

    Across the sun-kissed vineyards of England’s south coast, there’s no sour grapes over Brexit.

    Britain’s winemakers are instead finding their glasses half full thanks to a steep drop in the value of the pound, which has made their wares more affordable abroad.

    “The fall in the currency will help our export operations, which are considerable,” said Frazer Thompson, CEO of Kent-based winery Chapel Down. “And in order to create a brand in the true sense, we have to have an international reach.”

    Later in the article:

    Brexit won’t be entirely positive: Europe is an excellent source of skilled workers, and they could find it harder to come to Britain when the country leaves the European Union, said Thompson.

    But the disruption to trade ties with the EU is less of a concern. The winery’s biggest export markets are in Asia and the U.S. — not Europe.

    1. I love single malt Scotch, British and Irish beer, and Shepherds pie. But the very idea of “British winemakers” should make any vinophile run away screaming in terror.

      1. “Call in the marketing people and ask how come the Cow Piss Wine isn’t selling.”

      2. Apparently some of it is surprisingly drinkable – especialiy sparkling.

        1. Are they allowed to call it champagne now?

          1. Nope, because they are still in the EU*. And it’s possible they’ll bind themselves to protect these geographical indicators as part of the price for future access to EU markets, post-Brexit, so youy might never see a Kentish champagne

            * and they have to keep complying with their obligations, because if they don’t that could lead to the UK being kicked out, rather than negotiating its way out

              1. I was being glib but then I thought of a funnier line: it’s only fair, the French aren’t allowed to name their delicacies after Yorkshire or Wellington*.

                *not actually sure that’s true

      3. Careful. You’ll summon old Mexican

      4. I’ve never even seen English wine available for sale anywhere. It’s difficult enough just to get real English ciders over here in the states.

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  51. Obligatory and oh, so apt in soo many ways:

    President Obama will visit flood victims in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, today.

    Heck of a job, Brownie.

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